NEW GIRL 5.01 - Big Mama P
Xuebing Du

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@adickam
NEW GIRL 5.01 - Big Mama P

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The most insane thing about me is that 3 years ago, I recorded myself narating the entire AFTG trilogy because these books are my dopamine rush but I didn’t find the official audiobooks relaxing enough to fall asleep to.
The second most insane thing is that I decided to re-record them now, as the first take was a rush job and wasn’t that great, and… my boyfriend has never batted an eye at this. Like, I’m just a girl, reading her favorite books aloud to herself and then listening to them before bed. And this dude acts like it’s normal behavior. Love that for me.
I’m re-reading the series, and this is a random thought I keep coming back to.
The way Neil had experienced nearly every trauma in the book but not a sexual one feels so crucial to Andreil working out. Like Andrew was feeling these desperate confusing infuriating feelings, was very slowly making himself give up a tiny bit of control, day by day, to a man he did trust, but was still struggling with his ptsd and it was fucking HARD and… and Neil was just happy to be there. More than content with letting Andrew figure everything out, never pushing, never taking more than he was given, but without any broken thoughts and feelings of his own.
He was also able to do it without making a huge thing out of it, or breaking down himself. Which Andrew would NOT have appreciated.