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So it’s been five days since I said I’d be back and I just haven’t... been here. I haven’t had the desire to be back here and honestly I think it’s time to acknowledge something that I've been avoiding for a long time now: I’m not??? really into roleplay anymore???
More details under the cut
Don’t get me wrong, I love all the characters I’ve got to interact with, and I love my characters and I love how much this has helped my writing improve. Roleplaying has been a remarkable experience for me. But... it’s not something that excites me anymore. It’s not something that I want to do, really.
I used to get home from school and write 12 replies a night and answer asks and get so happy to talk to people, but lately writing even one reply has been like pulling teeth. Not just because of writers block, like I thought, but because I don’t want to be writing replies. I love writing so much, but this particular way of writing isn’t something that interests me anymore.
I love the people I write with, and I love the worlds and stories that we’ve come up with. And I’m sorry to stop creating those worlds and telling those stories. And some of them weren’t finished, they weren’t over, and they meant (and still mean) a lot to me. But this isn’t the place I belong anymore.
I’m sorry, I really am. I just... I can’t force myself to be here anymore.
I’ve been writing Lucifer for three years as of this month. Three years! How crazy is that? Some of you have even been with me for that whole time... Since I was a small sideblog on the supernatural community when my writing was horrid. Since I switched to a main blog and could finally send asks. Since I made the leap and let supernatural go. Since my URL was ‘iactuallyburncold’ and I was so proud of it. It’s crazy to think just how long I’ve been writing this character, and it’s crazy to think how long some of you have been with me.
But... it’s time for me to go. I’ll miss it!! I’ll miss it so much. I’ll miss the characters and the stories and people. This just isn’t the place for me anymore. And who knows? There may even be more content centred around this Lucifer on my main blog: @lionofstone
(I can’t say if this applies to my other roleplay blog @sankareita, because I honestly haven’t decided yet. Lucifer, however, isn’t... going to be an active blog anymore.)
@redxheart (not the blog we interacted on, but the blog you’re most likely to get a notification at the moment): you know how important our worlds and stories and characters are to me, and that’s never going to change. i still love all of that, and i still want to write with you. i will always want to write with you. hell, i’ll always want to write lucifer and michael with you. but maybe in a different way.
@thewitchandtheangels : you’re one of those people who’ve been around from the very beginning. we’ve done so much, my days. so many characters and stories and ideas and aus and i love them all. morgan and lucifer will always be important to me, forever and ever and ever.
@nobiscum : i just want you to know what emmanuel has had such a positive influence on my life and is so important to me and lucifer. he’s so incredible and i wish that i could do with you and him. you’re an incredibly gifted writer and i just hope that you know that.
@lumiinosite: tattoos and set pieces is my longest thread, and we started it about two and a half years ago. i’m sorry that i won’t get to see it completed. i love that story, i love hael, i love you. thank you
@asoulofstars : we didn’t start writing until fairly recently, you know, but you’ve been nothing but amazing and i seriously look forward to seeing what you and riona do in the future. when your book is finished, i will be one of the first to buy it, you can count on that
@toiveikkain : i seriously think you made me a better writer. i felt so lucky to write with you, and i’m still so glad that i got that chance. the world that we created with taylor is so magical and i loved exploring lucifer in that way.
and you know... all of you!! anyone who follows me, anyone i followed, THANK YOU. you’ve made these three years unforgettable. thank you!!!
okay, so I made a post a few days ago about how I’ve got family here this summer, but I was still going to try to be active. well, things have changed and I’m going to be putting this blog on hiatus until AUGUST 6th. I may be around a little bit from time to time, but between my cousin, my aunt, and summer camp, my activity will be spotty until at least then. I’m hoping this break will be good for me and in the long run, this blog. If you wanna contact me to chat or anything, hit me up on my personal: @lionofstone
okay, so I made a post a few days ago about how I’ve got family here this summer, but I was still going to try to be active. well, things have changed and I’m going to be putting this blog on hiatus until AUGUST 6th. I may be around a little bit from time to time, but between my cousin, my aunt, and summer camp, my activity will be spotty until at least then. I’m hoping this break will be good for me and in the long run, this blog. If you wanna contact me to chat or anything, hit me up on my personal: @lionofstone
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Currently making a master list here. Please reblog ONLY if you’re an OC. Please say if your are a fandom OC or a Fandomless OC in the tags. Please also mention if you are friendly to other OCs.
[ text; ]: i’m not a teacher
[ text; ]: i’m lucifer miltoni go to school here
[ text; ]: you should probably be scared of what people here might do to you… i mean you give kids superpowers…. its not always gonna end well @god why
[ text; ]: i think i have! you wear a bright red jacket don’t u??
[ text; ]: nice use of emojis kurt 👌🏼
[ text; ]: i’m not blue but that’s my favourite color. i do stuff with light 💡
lucifer, in any non-main verse: i hate religion and my parents and avoided going to church every chance I could because religion is the worst thing to exist ever
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[ txt ] : i will tell you who i am
[ txt ] : as long as ur not a teacher
[ txt ] : because i am not a snitch and will not tell who the culprits are because i am honourable and i have integrity and im scared of what theyll do to me
TO: UNKNOWN
[ text; ]: i’m not a teacher
[ text; ]: i’m lucifer milton i go to school here
[ text; ]: you should probably be scared of what people here might do to you... i mean you give kids superpowers.... its not always gonna end well @god why
[ txt ] : i teleported in on something HORRIBLE
[ txt ] : i need to wash my eyeballs and i can never go in the danger room again
[ txt ] : it is now a den of so called 69s
[ txt ] : WOW sorry wrong number
TO: UNKNOWN
[ text; ]: :O
[ text; ]: i’m going to have to avoid the danger room like the plague now
[ text; ]: thanks for the heads up whoever you are
“Well, it would be way easier if we recruited most of them. Just none of the ones that will betray us down the line. We’ve gotta be careful, you know. But I trust Azza. They’ll stick with us.” It was said with a firm nod. Morgan had a lot of faith in someone she hadn’t spent much time around, but that was mostly because Lucifer trusted them and she trusted his judgment. Maybe not her wisest decision, but there was no turning back now. “Well, try not to point it at anyone who doesn’t deserve it because I’ve got no idea what’ll happen.”
“If only we had a psychic, to check which ones would betray us. Or a telepath. Or a psychic telepath. That would be handy. But you’re right about Azza, they’ve always got my back. I can’t see them going against us.” He smiles, pleased with Morgan’s agreement on the matter. They both were his best friends, after all, and he had no intention of losing either of them. He was glad that they liked each other. “You literally just built it!”
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“A war you started out of your own faults, Lucifer. Michael cares for all of us, it is in her nature. She cares for you, even if you refuse to see it. But she will fight you for the same reasons I do. Because you are wrong.” They stare back at him. “Tell me, then, Lucifer. If not killing me, then what do you intend to do to me? You even said war involves death and yet death is not what you plan for me? I’m wounded, it would be easy for you.”
❝ If she cared for all of us, if she cared for me, would she not listen? She didn’t even give me a chance to explain it, Raphael! That isn’t love. ❞ And, Creator, did he love her. Hated her too, of course, but he loved her all the same. His mouth curls into something resembling a smile, and he raises one hand to flick in pseudo-affection at Raphael’s cheek. ❝ I know you aren’t a messenger, but all the same... I think I can use you to send a message. ❞ He almost wishes this had been Gabriel, if only for the symbolism.
The younger one smiles back, and though there is hesitance and timidity to his gaze, there is still warmth also. He is ever so timid and uncertain around the elders, can’t help himself, but he loves them still, for they are family, even those who went astray, according to the Father. But he too welcomes the chance to see the other, speak to him and more so know that he shall see him again. They could fix flowers out front together. Like the old days – full of wonders.
At the suggestion, he looks up. First, his eye wanders to Mrs M, also struck by the thought that she should find anything strange about the invitation. But she smiles and gestures vaguely. Says she should be busying herself in another way, anyway. Emmanuel does not believe her but still apologizes, and says he will be sure to catch up with her later. “– After all, it has been a while since my first visit and since then, I have not been given a proper tour around. Much must have changed…”
He nods in a farewell to Mrs M before disappearing after the other, amidst the shelves.
Lucifer would deny the flush on his cheeks even if threatened with death-- but he is flushing, somehow embarrassed by Mrs M’s words, and Emmanuel’s replies. A tour of a library is an odd thing. Still, he leads Emmanuel away from the front desk and towards the back of the library. The very back shelves are filled with the oldest, most valuable books. Bibles and other religious texts, outdated law books, faded stories. Despite their age, the books are tidy and well looked after. Lucifer cared for them, imbuing bits of grace here and there to keep them in good condition. He wonders if Emmanuel can tell.
While they walk, Lucifer considers what to say. His heart is racing, his cheeks ache from smiling. A sibling-- not any sibling, but a not-fallen one-- is here and wants to talk to him, and Lucifer could just about cry from the sheer joy of it. He swallows, just once, and turns to his brother with an uncharacteristically shy grin. “I’m glad that you’re here,” he says. “I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve seen any siblings. Azza left me, while I was in the Pit, and when I got out... I didn’t know if any other siblings would welcome me.”
He leans against one of the shelves and regards Emmanuel with gentle curiousity. “How are you?”
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