Laura

Dear Adena:

7 ICONS OF ADENA EL-AMIN 

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Fandom: The Bold Type

Pairing: Kat & Adena

It’s not an unusual night for them.

Kat’s over. Her head resting in Adena’s lap as they stay up late watching a classic movie, tonight’s The Philadelphia Story.

There’s something wrong with Kat. Adena knows because Kat hasn’t made one saucy comment about Cary Grant’s “swagger”. Something Adena knows from past viewings of His Girl Friday Kat is very passionate about. This entire night Kat has been quiet, her typical commentary non-existent. But Adena doesn’t pressure her on what’s wrong, she knows Kat will share when she’s ready. Instead she runs her fingers through the curls of Kat’s hair.

“Maddy and I broke up.” Kat says, moments later. Her face still staring ahead at the screen. Which is a gift, because Adena’s not sure what to say. Relationships is still a topic they don’t broach. Even though it’s been over a year since they’ve broken up and decided to be just friends.

Still, Adena knows about Maddy. As much as she swears off social media, she can’t help but check Kat’s instagram account. She’s seen Kat’s latest girlfriend, an athletic rock climber named Maddy. And while she’s attractive, Adena doesn’t think there’s a person in the world more beautiful than Kat Edison.

“Her loss” she says, and Adena feels the vibrations of Kat’s laugh.

Kat sits up, her shoulder leaning against hers. “She just doesn’t understand us. What we’ve been through, what you mean to me.”

Adena never imagined that she and Kat could get to where they were now. They had both made mistakes in their relationship. They had both not been as honest or communicated in ways that they should have, and when she had left Kat’s apartment she’d thought that was the last time she’d she Kat.

“I know others may not get it, but I need you in my life.” Kat says, her hands move to Adena’s face, her fingers grazing over Adena’s cheeks before she holds her face in her hands. “You aren’t allowed to leave me, Adena” Kat says starring into her eyes.

“I never will” Adena doesn’t think about how they both know that they shouldn’t promise things, and yet Adena believes  with every fiber of her being, that she will never let Kat Edison go again.

“Good” there’s a light smile on her face, as Kat edges closer. Her lips hover over Adena’s cheek before she changes her mind, and places a small kiss on Adena’s lips, backs away, and slyly smiles, “Just for old times.” and rest her head back on his lap.

“Ahh” Kat shouts, having an epiphany as she points at the screen, “Cary Grant is big dick energy.”

Every time they’re together they are skirting a thin line and if they cross it, Adena thinks staring down at Kat, she wouldn’t mind.

Adena finally unpacked the last of the boxes after moving into her new apartment a few days ago. Just then she received a direct message notification from Instagram. It was from Tia! Adena feared reading the message. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She then exhaled heavily before reopening her eyes. She proceeded to read the message. It read:

“I know this is awkward; you being her ex and my being…a former potential partner. Nevertheless, I hoped that we can speak. Can we meet for lunch some time?”

Adena replied, “Sure! How’s tomorrow?”

Tia rapidly replied, “Perfect! Where?”

Adena replied, “Scarlet’s cafe area.”

Tia replied, “Scarlet?! 🤔 Okay.”

_______________________________________________

Adena had a morning shoot scheduled in the Fashion department. “Let’s keep the blinds open. The natural light is perfect in this shot.”

Within an hour, Adena knocked out the Winter edition for the Fashion department’s contribution. “I’ll have these images inclusive of their edits after lunch, Oliver. It’s always a pleasure!”

“You are amazing, Ms. El-Amin!” Oliver bowed to Adena.

Ohhhh…stop it!” Adena giggles as she made her way to the elevator.

Kat watched Adena from her desk. “Hey, you! Are you okay?” Jane asked.

Startled, Kat responded. “Of course…do I not look…okay?”

Jane looked towards the elevator at Adena. “No…you look like you’re longingly staring and avoiding Adena. It’s been three weeks. When are you going to talk to her?”

Kat huffed, “I’ve already talked to her. I’ve told her everything. Now she’s working here, so that makes it so awkward.”

Kat looked towards the elevator and noticed Tia greeting Adena. They both entered the elevator. “Wow! This is not happening!” Kat jumped out of her chair and walked towards the elevator.

See?! You’re not okay!” Jane yelled.

_______________________________________________

After ordering lunch, Adena and Tia headed towards a free table.

“I’m glad you met with me, Adena.” Tia said.

“Of course, Tia. What did you want to discuss?” Adena asked.

Tia exhaled heavily. “Okay…I want to know what happened.”

“What happened?” Adena questioned.

“Yeah, like…was it, because I wasn’t out of the closet enough, you guys were still in love, you guys were sleeping together, or did you guys get back together…?” Tia asked.

“Tia, Tia…breathe, please. You need to come out at your own pace, first of all. Do not rush that process for anyone. As far as me and Kat goes…I’m still in love with her but I don’t think she is in love with me. I understand why, so I’m not complaining. Obviously, that answers the question of us being “back together”. We did have a brief moment where we indulged in a friend’s with benefits situation. It was an unspoken agreement. I knew that I didn’t want a dead end kind of relationship with her and I admitted it to her. Now, here we are.” Adena chuckled as she took a sip of her iced tea.

“But…you’re working at Scarlet.” Tia said.

“Yes, but that was based on my own merit. Kat was not involved in the job offer at all.” Adena played with her necklace.

“Wow, congratulations!” Tia smiled.

“Thanks.” Adena smiled. “How are you handling coming to terms with you sexual identity? Was Kat your first?”

“Kat was my first lesbian dating experience. I’ve kissed two girls and had sex with one prior to meeting her. It’s been a little nerve wrecking. I feel like I need to be sure of myself before I date anyone exclusively, again. I just don’t want my identity to be a factor anymore. Not to say that Kat made it a factor. It was all me that did that. If we were in public, I would look around before kissing her. I don’t want that for my next potential relationship.” Tia sighed.

“I totally understand. I’m guilty of doing that when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, myself.” Adena chuckled.

“How did you get so comfortable with yourself and admitting your love for women, out loud?” Tia asked.

“I just started living for me and kept in mind that people don’t really care about what is being done, but how it affects them. What affects them is none of my business. When you take that into consideration, your mindset will be forever changed.” Adena said.

“Damn, girl! That was a word.” Tia clinked glasses with Adena.

Kat walked over to their table. “So…this is nice. Huh?” Tia and Adena locked eyes and looked up at Kat in unison.

“Kat? What’s going on?” Adena asked.

“I could ask you guys the same question. Right?” Kat pulled an extra chair towards the table and sat with her arms crossed.

“Maybe…I should go.” Tia grabbed her purse.

“No, Tia…” Adena said.

“You should definitely stay. What were you guys talking about…Me?” Kat asked angrily.

“Kat we were sharing experiences. Granted you are a part of a mutual experience, but we weren’t necessarily discussing, you.” Adena explained.

“I’m going to go. Thank you for meeting with me, Adena. We should definitely do this, again.” Tia grabbed her purse. “Bye, Kat.” Tia walked off.

Adena cupped her forehead and sighed. She then stood up to put her and Tia’s lunch trays away. Kat followed her, as she now made her way to the elevator.

“It’s not enough that you’re working at my job?! Now, you’re hanging out with my ex?” Kat said as they got on the elevator together.

Adena’s eyes welled with tears. “Kat! Stop!…I took the job, because I thought you were telling me that you wanted me back, in a way of a grand gesture. Ever since you’ve told me that you wanted to be alone, I haven’t spoken to you. It’s been three weeks since I started working here, and you’ve been avoiding me like the plague.” Adena cried.

Kat stopped the elevator. “ I’m sorry, Adena. I didn’t think that I could handle us…starting all over, again. Please give me a chance to prove that I’m ready, now.” Kat grabbed Adena’s face and kissed her deeply.

Adena kissed Kat back and wrapped her arms around Kat’s neck. Kat unbuckled Adena’s belt and pulled her pants down.

Sometimes Kat is at work, simply composing a tweet to announce Scarlet’s latest contest when it hits her: Adena’s perfume. She remembers so well the sweet, floral scent of it— she can almost smell it as if Adena is standing right in front of her. The words on the screen in front of her are long forgotten, and it is not until Sutton and Jane are coming to her desk to bring her a smoothie that she finally snaps back to reality.

Other times it’s the little things, like walking down the river where they had their first date or going back to restaurants where they shared amazing food and stories together that the thought of her consumes her mind completely.

Adena is also everywhere in Kat’s apartment. She thinks about her when she pours coffee in the Disney mug that Adena always used. She remembers the night that Adena admitted to never have been to Disney World, and Kat promised to bring her there one day. She thinks about her when snuggling under the same blanket that they were cuddled under when watching a marathon of Friends, eating Kat’s special peanut butter sriracha popcorn.

And then, when the night comes and Kat is lying in bed on the same sheets where they both laid naked together, Kat can’t help but think about the softness of Adena’s skin, the curve of her breasts, and her thighs closing around her head as she comes undone. During those nights of reminiscing, Kat can’t help but slid her hand down her own body…

Adena is everywhere and it’s intoxicating.

Kat is happy with Tia. She’s a great woman. She’s smart. She’s beautiful. She has a great heart. But it just doesn’t compare. Tia doesn’t not make her whole world turn the same way that Adena does.

So she ends it.

And the first thing she does after is knock on Adena’s apartment door. Adena opens the door and sees Kat face and she doesn’t need any explanation.

Kat’s face is full of lust and before she even has time to say a word, Kat pushes her inside until her back hits the glass wall, kissing her hard.

“I missed you,” Adena says, panting as she struggles to take her shirt off.