shattered

Anyone who worked in law enforcement knew what kind of toll it took on a person's life. Your mental health, relationships, everything was affected by the things you had to do. And Adem had only worked here in East Haven, he could only imagine the kinds of shit they saw in a city like New York. "I'm not often undercover but it's a very different world than standard police work, I'll say that." He agreed and heard Josiah's name called, deciding that was probably his meal. Adem got up to grab it and found it was indeed his order. "Well it was nice to meet you Josiah, I should get going but I'll see you around." He smiled and waved as he left the restaurant and headed for his car.

"That was unfortunate timing," she was glad that Adem had been making an effort but hated that it had been cut short by the wind storm that sent people to hunker down in their locations. "I was at Mount Aston Lodges, meeting with a client," she told him, "I didn't want to risk the drive home," it didn't feel worth the risk. "I practically drained my battery playing pointless games on my phone that I had," she shrugged her shoulders, still waiting for the kettle to whistle at her. @adem-sahir

They both stopped speaking for a moment and Adem found himself staring at the woman across from him like nothing between them had ever changed. He knew that wasn't the case, his own darkness had pulled them to opposite ends of the earth it felt like, but right now it felt like they were back in each others orbit. "Can I...ask you something?" He swallowed hard and got up, moving around the island to where she was standing in the kitchen. Adem placed a hand on the counter next to Dilara and met her eyes as he towered over her. "Are we wasting time? Is there a reason we're sitting here pretending this is all fine?"

Hearing Adem admit that he didn't have too many friends left made Brendon frown. He was always quick to see the best in people, and he'd never reached a point with anyone where he felt the need to stop talking to them, as he was sure he never would. "That is a big thing, I'm sure they're glad that you are reaching out to them" he said, offering the other a small smile, "And you may have lost friends in the past but you just gained one now, so that's something" he said with a short nod. "I'm Brendon" he told him, even if Adem wasn't looking to make a friend here today, it took very little to get Brendon to care about someone as he now did for the other. Nodding again when Adem asked his question, Brendon pulled his necklace up from under his shirt so he could show him that it had the Star of David on the end, "Yeah, I'm Jewish! I'm not trying to convert you or anything, I promise, I know it's not for everyone"

Adem kept the groan from escaping him at the words 'new friend' because that was actually the last thing he wanted right now. But this kid was trying to be nice and he needed to curb stomp that fucking attitude of his. "Adem." He shook his hand anyway, already trying to figure out how to get out of this new friendship he simply did not ask for. "Technically my family is Muslim but I've never been practicing. My grandparents were very religious but it sort of fell off with my parents." He explained. though he really hoped they weren't going to have to have a debate about religion now.

Emiri looked around her brother's place as she walked in, perhaps with a more little sister snooping eye than a common guest would have. "Would you have let her in if she came instead of me?" She asked her brother. She'd been hiding away in Chicago, setting her little life on fire just to feel something. She hadn't paid enough attention to fully understand just what Adem's relationship was like with their parents. "Are you really telling me you have a completely sober house?" She asked with a raised eyebrow before she finally gave up her search and joined her brother in the kitchen.

"Not as if I would have a choice." But the answer was definitely yes. Even though his mother never came to check on him. Most of the family had written him off as an angry asshole well over two years ago. Adem folded his arms over his chest and looked at Emiri as she made her way into where he was waiting. "Well if you bothered to stay in touch with me you'd know I've been sober since before Christmas." He rolled his eyes and nodded to the fridge. "I have water and soda. That's the best I can offer you."

"Sounds boring." She retorted with a teasing smirk. Not that she was offering herself up to help him change that while she was dating Evren. But, Neena did know that she had on more than one occasion been the one to change that. The first time had been unplanned, unexpected and a huge mistake. Their first thought after fucking each other had been Johnny, which was a very unsexy thought to have afterwards. They couldn't do it again. But then, like moths to the stupid flame, they both had done it again. And again. "Fifth time I think." She replied with a grin. While others might think the on and off again relationship would be toxic, Neena didn't think so. Every time she and Evren had parted as friends. She just hadn't been ready to do any serious dating. But this was turning out to be the longest they had been together yet. She didn't want to think on that too much. "The last couple times I was in the station was for research and files for my show. But maybe Diana and I could change that, it's been too calm for a while. Too boring." She teased and took a sip of her drink. "Oh, I remember very clearly." Neena smirked, her eyes sparkling. "I think we broke your headboard one time. Plus the not as fun times you got me for trespassing."

It was easy to let his mind wander to all the places he an Neena had found themselves in during their little rendezvous over the years but that had been inarguably a bad life choice. He knew that if Johnny ever heard about that he'd be pissed and Adem would really fucking hate to disappoint one of the only people in his life who hadn't walked away from him when he'd become such a dick. "Research huh? Is that what you call harassing the deputies for confidential information in order to monetize someone's tragedy?" He raised a brow at the girl and shook his head. Adem never really understood the fascination behind true crime, turning someone's horror into entertainment seemed so callous. "I don't know, I thought it was pretty fun getting to watch you sit in a holding cell waiting for someone to bail you out." @neenawagncr

Emiri stared up at her brother and barely more than blinked as he gave her every bit the opposite of a warm greeting. "Hello to you too." She gave him a dazzling smile she would have used for the weather, though she spread her lips even wider to drive home just how fake it was following him opening the door like that. The smile dropped and she walked past him as he finally moved his too big body out of the way. "Mom did send me over. I don't know when I became the messenger, but here we are." She sighed as she set down the food her mom sent her over with and started to look for his alcohol. "She made you some food. I didn't get any, but she did take me out for lunch so I guess it's even."

It wasn't like he could really deny his sister entry to his home, she was gonna come in whether he wanted her there or not so Adem decided to not make it harder than it needed to be. "She acts like she doesn't know where I live." As if the money for this house hadn't come from the money put in a savings account for him from their parents. All the siblings had one of those accounts. It wasn't a trust fund per se, but it might as well have been. He looked into the bag of food and went to set it on the kitchen counter. "If you're looking for booze there is none." @emirischir

Dilara knew that he made a point - but, she still, she couldn't help but be glad that the man had stopped by regardless of the time they had been apart. The brunette gave a nod of her head, understanding that he shouldn't come in and she was ready to bid him goodbye when she looked up to meet his gaze once more and the agreement came with a nod of his head. Dilara moved inside, shutting the door behind the two of them with a click of the lock. She gestured for the man to follow her to the kitchen where she began filling up the kettle to set it on the stove top to heat up for their tea, "Where did you have to take shelter?" @adem-sahir

Adem slipped his shoes off when he stepped inside, a habit that he'd always done when he came here. Dilara had pretty rugs and nice floors and the last thing he wanted to do was dirty them up with his boots. He leaned on the counter as she started the kettle. He didn't even like tea but he drank it with her because she liked it. "The ski resort. I was out trying to have a nice nature walk or some shit because my therapist said being outdoors is good for my mental health and then it started getting crazy and I knew I couldn't get all the way home safely." Adem drummed his fingers on his forearm, looking up at her. "Where were you?" @dilaraxbaysal

Brendon frowned a little bit at the other man's counterpoint. He could very well be right, but he always tried to be more optimistic about things, and it seemed like Adem was the exact opposite. "Could be that.. I like to think it's the other one, but it could be" he told him, not wanting to invalidate how he felt about it. "When I need help, I pray. Or I talk to my rabbi for advice" he told him with a short nod, "I know religion isn't for everyone but it helps me" Brendon shrugged, not wanting it to come off like he was pushing his religion on the other man. His parents were like that with other people, and it was something he never wanted to do. "You could always talk to a friend instead, maybe." he added, listening again as he revealed that he'd been a drunk. "Making the right choice is often a lot harder than making the wrong one, unfortunately"

Adem had never really cared much for religion, all he'd ever seen it do was be used to hurt people. But that wasn't something he was going to get into with a stranger. It was none of his business if people thought religion would help them with their struggles, it just wasn't going to help him. He sighed and rapped his knuckles against the cover of the book, looking down at the words on the cover. Overcoming Addiction. Right, because it was so easy. "I have. Don't have too many of those left in my life but the ones I do have, I've been reaching out. Which is a big thing for me. A year ago I never would have admitted I needed anyone. Hell, even a few months ago." But things were different now, he was trying to be different too. "So you're Jewish?" He asked. @brendonxrulli

Small talk really wasn't something Adem was all that good at. He struggled to act like he wanted to talk about the patty melt or the weather or shit like that. Maybe it was part of his antisocial dick bag lifestyle but the last few years it had become increasingly difficult to engage in that sort of thing. "Can't really go wrong." He agreed and reached out shake his hand. "Good to meet you. You lived in town very long? I don't think I recognize you but I was overseas for quite a few years." Adem glanced at his radio and instinctively touched it. This guy must have some kind of first responder job to even ask that question. "Police. I'm a detective, hence the plain clothes." He gestured to his lack of uniform today. Some days Adem put it on but he had surveillance to do later and it was better to be inconspicuous. "What's your background?" @josiahhuddington

"Stop," Dilara sharply whispered the word at Adem, "you do have business." Even if they weren't together anymore, they had spent a large part of both of their lives together, even prior to being in a relationship. "Th-thank you, for checking on me, Adem," her tone remained softened as she stared up at him. She even let her own chin move down and then up again as he said that he should go home, neither of them making any more to part ways. "Do you just want to come in? I can make us some tea." @adem-sahir

"Maybe two years ago it was my business how you were doing but now..." Adem trailed off and let out a breath, his eyes never leaving hers. "I'm glad you're okay." They might not be together anymore but if anything had happened to Dilara, he couldn't stand to think about it. He was in a really fragile place right now with his sobriety and all it would take was one more loss in his life for Adem to really fall apart and be a lost cause. For a long time he'd already thought he was too far gone. But maybe there was hope after all. "I shouldn't." He cleared his throat and finally tore his eyes away from Dilara for a millisecond before he looked back at her and nodded anyway, stepping through the threshold of her doorway. @dilaraxbaysal

Adem set the tray down on his table and nodded, his radio attached to his hip coming to life as a voice on the other end started speaking. He quickly clicked it off, he was on his lunch break and that call wasn't for him anyway. "Patty melt on sourdough, same thing I always get because I'm a creature of habit I guess." He shrugged and glanced back at the counter for a moment while he wondered if they were gonna bring his food to Josiah's table now, having mixed the two up. "Mind if I sit here and wait for a minute? I have a feeling they're gonna bring my food out to you soon." He might be on lunch but he didn't have forever to fuck around trying to get his lunch. The case he was working on was getting busier and he had a few witnesses he needed to go interview today after he ate. "I'm Adem. Since I now know your name it felt only fair." @josiahhuddington

Brendon had some time before he had to go to work, so he went to the closest coffee shop to get a small bite to eat and a hot chocolate before sitting down with a book to pass the time. He was taking a sip of his drink when the man next to him made a comment that made him laugh a little bit. "Sorry- that was kind of.. funny" he said, referencing the self-hate for buying it part, but the other guy seemed to be serious about it. "Um, I don't know much about those types of books... I've never read one, actually" he admitted with a small shrug. His parents had always told him to solve his problems with prayers, not self help books, so that's what he'd done his whole life. "They must work for some people though, otherwise I don't think people would keep making them.. right?"

Adem flipped the book onto the table and rolled his eyes. "Or maybe there's just too many sad, stupid people on this planet who think someone else has it all figured out and we're just blindly buying these shitty books to try and fix our problems without putting in any real effort." Or to make himself feel better. Or to make someone else think he was doing well. Who the fuck knew. All Adem really knew was that he wanted a drink and he couldn't have one and he felt like a damn idiot for trying to do something right for himself when all he was actually good at was being fucked up. "I think my life was easier when I was just being a drunk asshole, I don't know." @brendonxrulli