( NERDS ) THE FAGGOTS.

I’m Kurt, and hey, I don’t think you’re a loser. People are into what they’re into. Guys made fun of me when I was in middle school because I loved ballet, so I don’t make fun of people for their interests.

Well, those guys sucked. You seem like a quite nice person and I don’t imagine it would have been fair of anyone to make fun of you.

Cool, what are these points for exactly? I’d like to cash them in for various pastries. Alas. rap music person has returned from whatever they were doing and is now stomping around their apartment. 

I have no idea, but I’ll buy you pastries if you reach one hundred points one day and one of us still remembers the deal. Go hit them with a leek or something? 

Very true. There was a time not so long ago I was watching several hours of the baby developmental channel. So, it can always be worse than Rugrats.

--- have I completely lost it, if I’m guessing you’re a mother?

You’d think that because it is a Hotel – a nice, not exactly cheap one, at that,  that the management would go out of their way to ensure that the majority of the rooms got good WiFi reception. But I’m sure that’d be a pain in the ass to do. So I’m more than happy to settle. So are you, it seems. That sounds pretty fun, actually. I thought it was some card game liked Magic the Gathering by the name of it. What do you do aside from quench your thirst for knowledge?

Wait, you know about Magic the Gathering? That’s--- oh my god, I thought people had forgotten or was just too focused on Facebook or whatever. You’re like my new favorite person at this place and I don’t even know your name. Well, I currently work as a room service deliverer here at the Wilson, but I plan on going back to studying soon. I, uh, also play other games? And spend too much time making puns, probably. What about you, though? What do you do?

Couldn’t agree with you more, even if I find the other half crazy. No, I don’t even want to imagine it, that’s terrifying. Did they finally leave yet, or are you still having to endure? Did you just call rock lovely? I mean, I’m not crapping on it, I think music is a very each to their own type of thing, but I don’t think lovely would be the right adjective. Anyways, you wouldn’t be the noisy neighbor, they would be. People would probably thank you for drowning out the crying baby sounds. Nope, I don’t think you have, either. It’s nice to meet you, though, Beth. I’m Eva. If you want to shorten it, Eve’s good, at least out loud. One less syllable. Oh, sweetie, no, I’m a nightmare, but you seem like a good judge of character, so we can go with ‘not too bad’ for now, sure.

Sadly, I’m still living in screaming baby Hell. This is worse than Binding of Isaac. Rock music is lovely in my taste, but I’m not gonna be shaming anyone for thinking differently. Some likes to listen to Arctic Monkeys, while other prefers the loud cry of a baby. But I don’t know --- I would prefer for other’s music to stay relatively low, so I’ll try and play the nice card. But hey, it’s definitely nice to meet you, Eva. Eve. I’ll figure that one out. Well, you can be a nightmare and still ‘not too bad’ all at the same time... I think. On a completely different note, when are you free? I would like to take you out for coffee, if you don’t mind. Some time away from the screamer could do wonders on my tolerance and you seem like company I wouldn’t regret.

Are you a guest at the hotel? You could come see me, it’s pretty fun.

Kinda. I also work here, just in the room service department. But I’m sure it’s lots of fun --- I’ll try to make it, yeah?

Yea, both are part of my plans for the near future considering I very much dislike grumpy me. The rap music person only plays their music at times which inconvenience everyone around them so maybe I’ll get lucky and they’re out doing some other annoying activity at the moment.

Ten points to Edgar. But I’m crossing my fingers for you on that one. Let’s all pray that rap music person learns to behave.

Mhm, I sing at the bar every weekend.

That’s quite cool, actually.

…I’m sorry, you lost me at Hearthstone.

Don’t even worry one bit. I lost most people at Hearthstone. It’s this online strategy card game. Lots of fun, actually.

Introducing yourself probably be a good idea. I’m Jackson. Nice to meet you too. I work as a caddie here.

You’re probably right. So --- apart from being caddie, what do you do?

Really, people actually say that? I second the bullshit, I feel like becoming a parent would just make me dislike them even more. Then again, I’m basically still a kid myself, so there’s that. I don’t see my opinion changing anytime soon, though. Damn, three hours would be torture, so I can’t even imagine three days. No problem, the offer’s there if you want it. Let me know how the rock music thing goes, though. That sounds pretty hilarious.

Sadly, yes. I vote we just let the people who want to be a parent, be a parent and let the no kids thank you people stay childless as long as they want to. Three days have been torture. Like, imagine having to listen to that up close every day? You’re an angel. I don’t know if I should go through with it. On one hand, rock is lovely --- but it would make me the annoying noisy neighbor. Have I introduced myself? I don’t think, I have. Bethany, Leah Bethany. Or just Beth for short. You don’t seem too bad.

Like what?

Well, mainly League of Legends...

I’ll watch it painfully slow, and maybe they update it.

That’s a pretty solid strategy, actually. I’m impressed.

After a day at the spa

Are you, like, a performer or something?

I’m tired and hungry, no one should come close to me or I’ll bite you. Also, if you happen to be the person above me who decided playing music on full bast at four in the morning, rap music at that, was a good idea we’re gonna need to have a serious talk. 

Have you considered, you know, getting some sleep? Or food, for that matter. Any of those should help on at least one of your problems, even if eating does make it harder for the body to fall asleep. The rap music person might decide not to ruin your life at this point - take a chance.

There’s literally nothing sweeter than walking out of Gucci with bags full of delicious clothing, it only gets better when it’s topped with Louis Vuitton and Chanel. All that’s left to complete my day is getting my nails on fleek and getting ready for my evening, bless this beautiful ass Saturday. Nothing could put a damper on this day so please keep your crude, unvaluable nonsense to yourself since you’ll be wasting your mint-needed breath.

That can’t be all too bad, no. Money invested in quality usually aren’t wasted, unless you don’t know how to treat ‘em, which doesn’t seem to be your case. Good luck with your manicure.

I spent my morning watching Rugrats and drawing dinosaurs. Online card games aren’t lame compared to that. 

Well, dinosaurs aren’t the least interesting thing in the world. And you could watch worse things than Rugrats. I think.