fortnite funny moments

✧*:･ﾟ| A curious mind befitting a genius in his field, Siebren in his spare time offers knowledge to those who would bother to listen. CONFIDENCE in his talents, plain as the eye can see, nothing in all of Radiale could stop him! Siebren hums to himself, a pleasant, idle tune reflecting his often spaced out tincture, as he seems to be unaware of most of his surroundings. Most, however, yet not all. He pauses in his seemingly aimless quest, floating at a standstill as softened eyes WANDER OVER the figure of the troll just standing there.

❝ER, young one, are you unwell?❞ A concerned phrase MINGLED IN with unfortunate curiosity. Try as he might to seem calm and collected, Siebren is utterly in awe of the alien species. He would remain polite, of course, but there’s a hitch in his voice as if he’s discovered something INCREDIBLE. ❝I can imagine someone like you might find the facilities unfamiliar, yes?❞

The suddenness of that voice causes him to snap to attention, though there’s an undeniable kindness to the tone which immediately soften down his bristled posture. This guy bore no ill will, so what would the point be of getting defensive? Still, seeing a human like this approach caused him to do a double take for just a brief moment. He was unaware of how humans could age, and it was fascinating to meet someone who was further along that scale. Honestly with how his species ages, seeing trolls with visible shifts in age isn’t so commonplace. Lower castes don’t live long enough to make it to old age, and when they do molt into adulthood they’re forced off planet to serve the empire.

It would be a shame to end up trying to kill the first thing you’ve recognized to attain justice for their fashion crimes. Fortunately, Mallek passes the vibe check with just enough points to be able to talk to. (Droog wouldn’t risk committing homicide in a new place this soon anyway. Mostly. Who knows what the law enforcement is like.)

Droog watches Mallek’s eyes as he speaks- there’s no trace of anything but frank honesty, and convenient as it is to get information so easily, he almost regrets asking. A year…well, that simply won’t do. No, perhaps it’s just a matter of finding the right people, the right contacts. The right…power. He felt from the second he landed here that some of his had just gone missing. Maybe when he figures out how to restore it he’ll find the door, too.

“Mm. So, some matter of god or pantheon or terror is just plucking whatever individuals it wishes from their homes and putting them here. That’s just fucking great- fantastic, really.”

His irritation bleeds through into his voice, snippier and snappier, harsher with every word. He wants to go home.

Droog could definitely try, but Mallek’s not about to make an assassination attempt easy. Specially not when the offence is literally his outfit of choice, which he assumes would be pointed out to him before anything happens. Still, he notices that the carapacian seems to be getting antsy as he listens to his explanation regarding their current predicament. Sure, nobody wants to be trapped in strange land but this place isn’t too terrible. At least it’s not some hellscape.

“I know it’s not ideal, but there really seems to be no way out for the time being.” He’s not trying to be a bad news bird, but he is also well aware of the situation by now. The other isn’t wrong, there had to be some higher force at play here to be plucking others away left and right with very little effort and taking away their methods of communication, even their abilities had been diminished last he’d checked. “It took me a full month to even get my internet connection back, and I’ve really had a hard time gleaning any information about whoever brought us here.” Or whatever, for all he cares.

“You want to what?” he’s holding dearly to his own piece of ribs, his own meat dish of the day. Being near a mall, it was easy to get cheap food that could satisfy him. Sure a bit more fluff on him, but with all the running he’s been doing, there is no problem ever.

“I’m not giving any.”

“Wh-” The other must’ve misheard him, not like he can blame that man from getting defensive over these ribs. Sure, Mallek’s aware that the mall is right there but it’s not a small place and he’d rather get some meals quickly. He’s in the mood for meat, after all, even if he’s learned to eat more variety during his time here.

“Mhm!” My Melody nodded her head in agreement, and then she grabbed her pink hoe from the ground. It was time to loosen a bit of the soil to make it easier on these plants. As she worked, she looked back up at Mallek once more. “I hope I can keep the peace here too, like I was doing back on Earth. But–” She paused and set her hoe up so she could lean on it somewhat. “–it seems a lot harder because…not everyone here is human. And so…there are a lot of different people with different powers, not just nightmare magic!” She let out a little sigh.

“It’s a big responsibility!” While she wasn’t directly responsible for everyone’s actions in Spirale, she still felt obligated to keep them friendly with one another. But, nevertheless, she knew it was an improbable goal. And some citizens of Spirale were mean just because they wanted to be.

"You don’t have to handle that on your own, though?” He’s vaguely amused the tiny rabbit has saddled herself with such responsibility, because if they’re being honest there’s always going to be some sort of conflict floating around. But in spite of her obviously good intentions, taking a big burden upon herself definitely couldn’t be healthy if she wasn’t mindful of her own limits. Still, he watches her work around the plants for a little longer. “It’s not your responsibility, and I know you’re smart and aware of it. Sometimes all you can do is your best, and that’s okay.”

The troll has definitely considered resuming his education, but will he really have the time? Sure, if he has time to screw around with a certain jadeblood for a few days in a row then he could definitely afford to both work and study at the same time. Logic has caused him to play himself yet again, and that just makes the fact he’s standing around like some schmuck whilst considering his options all the more acutely embarrassing for him. But the place is so big and he’s so unused to the human education system he actually has to do a double take. In Alternia there’s set paths and some branches which slightly divert from them, but diversity in this mass of oxygen and water is quite astounding.

The first thing he runs into that he’s willing to chance a dialogue with, and they’ve got to be dressed like…that. At least this one has a decent taste in modifications, though- what Droog wouldn’t do for all that excess accessory access is a shorter list every day (and it has quite the ring to it). He hums contemplatively. No, he wouldn’t be lucky enough that this troll was one of the moons’ Heroes, either.

“Yes. I presume it isn’t mutual, though, given the look on your face.” It’s said flatly, not a hint of expression on his face, but the way he gestures as he speaks hints that he’s not annoyed as much as amused. Amiable, even. “I’ve already deduced this is unlikely to be some bizarre fever dream, so…you’ll forgive me asking if whatever the hell this place is is something that has an exit.”

Listen, he favours function over form. The hoodie is cosy, and he’s wearing pretty sweet kicks. Honestly, Droog should be grateful he didn’t catch him wearing crocs and socks, because he’s done it and he will again if needed be. He’s not above weaponizing clothing to irritate others, after all. Though he’s noticed that the other’s skin seems to make it unlikely that the carapace would be able to get piercings at any rate. That’s unfortunate, honestly, because the colour of it could create quite the contrast between that and the jewelry itself.

(”…Didn’t hear about that part.”) They mumbled in awe, taking out their phone to look up some directions. (”…Okay, so there’s a spiralebucks about ten minutes away, that’ll work.”)

Away it went, and they turned to their companion to follow.

“That sounds, uh. That sucks, actually. Things are a lot milder here, right? This kind of weather is stuff I’m used to. Um…” … “…Cool piercings.”

“Thanks, I’m a fan of these myself.” He really is, if the fact he has plenty of them on him didn’t already give it away. Of course the cerulean is following Anda, eager to continue speaking with him even if the awkwardness of further details on Alternia was palpable.

“Yeah, it’s milder. We can actually go out during the day, which really helps since I got a job to do.” Sure, night shifts are a thing but sometimes he just wants to be able to explore more freely and nighttime tends to be ideal for it. Far less people. He leans towards the other juuuuuust a hint and he offers a cheeky smile. “You interested in piercings? Maybe some ink?”

It was nice to see such an old friend, such a consistently positive force over the sweeps back home. Most of the trolls he’d been running into as of late were strangers - or at least, those individuals not from his time. Finding someone he recognized was like a diamond in the rough, a needle in a haystack, and the glee this situation made to flood his bones was palpable upon his greyed face.

“It sure has been! How have you been lately, have you been in Spirale for very long?”

Though, when he went to process the second half of that question, his longevity amongst the walls of Spirale’s confusion, he paused. Eyebrows furrowed, hand brought up to his chin in thought, glanced off to the side as he tried to process just how long he’d been living within the confines of the strange place’s rules.

“Mm, quite. Been here for.. over a year now?”

It was only then when he realized just how used to Spirale and its ways that he had become. Year was the norm for his vocabulary - and it should be, despite the odd feeling it gave. Sweeps /were/ longer than this, after all. They were a thing of the past.

“I’ve grown to like it here, really. I don’t know how easily I’d manage if I wound up back on Alternia.”

“Been feeling that myself. It’s odd to even think of Alternia right now.” Frankly, he’s a little relieved he finally gets to meet someone he’s familiar with. Even if this place was very promising and he’s been able to settle down nicely, sometimes nostalgia hit hard. Call it being conditioned into a life of hardship, even if his caste was definitely more fortunate than others. “Not that long, honestly? So I’m still adjusting to customs and vocabulary. But I got internet access recently, so I’m pretty much set.”

Mallek’s never even considered the fact that they could be stuck in this place for as long, but the blueblood’s remark causes him to choke on the air he was breathing. “One year..?!”

Over a year? What kind of forces are they even dealing with at this rate? The concern which had etched itself across usually relaxed features dissolved back into the regularly scheduled calm soon enough. Was it really such a bad thing that he didn’t have to go back to the planet only to be shipped off to participate in a war he wasn’t even interested in? Still, he feels a tad guilty for the trolls left behind like Diemen and Treyaf. What would happen to them? Diemen was still roughing it up last he checked.

My Melody let out a little gasp. The way Mallek described his home planet…it sounded terrible! But then she took a moment to think about that; placing her paw on her chin as she did so. Was it really that bad, or was it just different? Her parents may agree with that sentiment. She imagined a world without flowers to be horrible, but that’s only because she wasn’t meant for a world like that. The way Mallek describe his planet…it still sounded like plenty of trolls made their homes there, despite the harsh conditions.

With a smile she reached down and gently cradled a flower bloom within her paw. “You don’t need to apologize mister Mallek. Your planet does sound…harsh, but..! That’s just because it wasn’t meant for me. We’re both from totally different worlds, and that’s amazing!” She looked back up at him, still smiling.

“Don’t you think?”

Oh no she’s so nice. Shame she isn’t exactly right about this since Alternia is indeed bad. But he wouldn’t say so even if he knew what she was thinking at the moment, because he can tell her words are meant to help. That and she genuinely seems like the kind of bunny who tries to see the good in things even if they sounded bleak. And honestly, the planet wouldn’t be so terrible if not under the tyrannical rule of the empress or that rigid caste-based system but that’s an entirely different matter. They did make it their home because they’d survived long enough to get to that point. But it kind of feels wrong to even muster some ounce of pessimism around her, so he shoves those feelings away into the back of his brain where they belong.

Melo’s so careful when handling that bloom, he has to admit it’s genuinely endearing. He really isn’t used to tenderness, so seeing it like this is always a rather new experience for him he definitely can appreciate. “It is.” The cerulean never thought to see things through the more optimistic lens of diversity, even if he was excited about this new opportunity for a better life with less restrictions.

TT: The power of friendship, huh. TT: Well, tt: It is magic, after all.

dirk gives himself a small, mental high-five for that one. fuck yes, slam dunk, swish swish, what a perfect shot from the centre of the court. or something. he never did pay all that much attention to earth sports. this mallek guy is giving him so much to work with in such a short space of time that he has to spin a little on his chair to consider how best to answer this query. he talks about his robros sometimes out loud, but dirk’s grown pretty accustomed to watching eyes glaze over, watching nods go from interested to detached and polite.

this troll’s a sucker. he asked, that means no backsies.

TT: They’re friends, first and foremost. TT: Nah, for real, TT: They’re not really supposed to serve a purpose. TT: That sounds real existential, but I’m serious. I just kind of let them do whatever. TT: They’re sentient, so it’d seem a little shitty to program them into endless servitude or to beat the hell out of each other. TT: All I did in terms of tweaking their personalities was make them predisposed to dropping ill bars, TT: And they seem to enjoy that well enough. TT: What’s with the intrigue. TT: Let me guess, TT: It’s written in your ROY G. BIV DNA that you’re predisposed to robotics and shit.

SB: i feel like that = a reference; and it sucks that it went right over my pan; SB: so they have self-learning capabilities; or something fancier;

Dirk definitely sounds like he cares about his creations, one way or the other, which is absolutely fair. There’s a lot of hard work which goes into machinery, and he knows this even when putting together far less complex mechanisms such as husktops. Still, he’s fascinated. Mallek isn’t a mechanic, so he wouldn’t be able to make robots unless it were the programming side of things. Honestly, he’d been toying with the idea of putting together an AI for a while. Should he give that a shot? Perhaps it’d be good practice to continue honing his skills, because as much as he enjoys hacking there’s so many things which could give him the experience he requires to fulfill his ambitions.

Though for now? It’s nice to just watch Dirk rant on about something he’s clearly passionate about.

There are a few things that Droog has deduced about the city he’s been knocked into. Firstly, the room he was for gods know what reason is…liveable, but he’ll need to get an upgrade if he’s going to be stuck here for any measure of time beyond a week. He hasn’t yet seen anything which could reasonably send him back home, so it’s looking like that’s gonna be harder than he’d like. Always something, isn’t it.

Secondly, while it isn’t his city, he can appreciate how attractive it is for what that’s worth. The Golden Ward, if he heard that right, ain’t too shabby of a place to live by. He’s found himself wandering into a shopping district, attracted to the boutiques and the luxury that he should be able to get on a whim but hasn’t yet gained the proper currency for. Only a temporary problem, he’s sure.

Thirdly, he recognizes absolutely nobody here, by species let alone by race. The ‘buildingmate’ he’d briefly gotten a glimpse of was some sort of strange animal, and most of the civilians he passes by resemble the creatures in his preferred reading material and in the strange artifacts they’d sometimes find in the desert.

That is, until he’s so sidetracked by a particularly ornate dress that he and another man nearly walk straight into each other. Droog registers the horns first- it’s no fellow Dersite, but hell, he’ll take a troll. He blinks for half a moment, and then asks, quickly- “Hello, might I bother you for something. Not trying to sell anything, but frankly, you’re the first thing I’ve recognized since I got here.”

He doesn’t want to be that bitch who judges books by their cover, but this guy definitely looks like he could snap someone’s neck and not even blink. He’d actually been checking his messages now that he recovered the sweet, sweet internet access despite hacking into whatever had brought them here seems impossible. There’s just no leads, no information or points of access. It’s rather frustrating, Mallek will definitely admit that, but he isn’t giving up. Not entirely. If there’s anything about the cerulean which is absolutely true, is that he can be very stubborn when it comes to understanding things.

He’s been in this place for a little more than a month, but he’s managed to get his life on track quite quickly. Spirale was so full of possibilities, and it was more of a cultural melting pot than Alternia in many, many ways. Though it appears that humans were most predominant as a species in general and that only this particular place has this level of variety due to the fact something, or someone, was snatching away others from their respective locations left and right. This proves to be the case when he narrowly avoids running into another... Well they’re definitely humanoid. Though the hard shell in place of skin was a bit of a surprising sight to be sure.

Hmhm, alright but fair Warning: I haVen’t eVen met a purple blood that can keep up With me. I hope you don’t disappoint me, baby.

I’m Wearing it, of course. They can get a little tight, but that just makes it feel so much better When my bulge slithers out of them. The garters kind of keep me sane…  something about that tightness around my thighs is just such a hot distraction… It does take a certain poise to be able to pull it off.

Huh. I didn’t think it’d be that common. I Was told that one of them saW their money as a burden and it Was a relief to get rid of some, but most people Would sooner die.

That’d be putting it lightly. I don’t really use my husktop for much more than streaming and Watching old moVies. I like stuff, so I buy What I Want. Like LSD and coke and diamond-studded silk robes.

it may not be sex but i’ve definitely spent a long time doing certain activities; programming; working out; eating; playing video games; for like a whole week i think; the memories are fuzzy but i do have the time stamp in my console to prove it;

damn; the other way around would’ve been funny and not just plain hot; i don’t think i’ve ever tried any of that; but i’m aware there are trolls who are super into wearing garters; not too many; you know fashion = one of the last things we’re concerned with in most cases; you’re like an exception to the more or less common rule;

it !=; that seadweller said he doesn’t know any others that would be willing to part with their cash; much less just to get their bulges wet; it’d be like admitting weakness or some dumb shit like that; to say that the idea of losing money made you all hot and bothered; specially if you’re a seadweller;

Great. I hope you don’t haVe anything planned for the next couple of days, or you Won’t be afraid to tell me When I’m exhausting you too much.

Oh, they’re not too bad. Just about all of my clients are into biting. Spanking is pretty common, lingerie has gotten pretty popular since I started streaming. The regulars, hoWeVer? My insanely rich regulars?

They’re really into paying me. A lot of them like it When I step on their crotch and talk about the things I buy With their dust. Some of them Wanna Watch me buy shit on their phone, threaten to buy so many designer suits they need to sell their Whole company… I really don’t get the stepping thing, but fuck me, financial domination is my neW faVorite thing.

guess you’re lucky i don’t have any clients for a couple of days; and if i’m not half dead; am i really even trying;

but fine; i’ll let you know if you’re depleting my energy or whatever; it kind of feels like you’re underestimating my endurance; guess the only solution to that = mentalizing myself to outlast you;

you do have the chompers to make that an actual kink; i know you’re aware of that; spanking = acceptable in my book; i don’t think i’d be able to pull off lingerie personally; but it suits you i’m sure; unless it = the other way around and your clients are into wearing it; because then that = probably a mixed bag;

Oh! I Was asking if other people had things they Wanted to try out on me. But if you’d really be Willing to keep an open mind, I Wanna surprise my regulars With some neW techniques.

i’d be lying if i didn’t admit that makes me curious; i didn’t have anything in mind anyway; but if you’re open to taking the reigns then i’m not against helping you out with that;

Does anyone Want to release some tension or maybe experiment With a feW things tonight?