𓆸For all the girls with an ancient soul𓆸

and you might say, “okay but who’s using urban dictionary as a source lol?”

well, my straight, 76 year old friend who has an earnest desire to learn about lesbian history and terminology and who—like many people—follows links on the first page of Google.

well-meaning allies and members of our own community shouldn’t have to be versed in academic sources on queer theory to find a quick definition for queer terminology that isn’t steeped in homophobia and misogyny.

bottoming is work! it is inherently reciprocal to topping! if you are topping someone, they are working and reciprocating! a bottom is not an inflatable sex doll that you do sex to in a vacuum of your own experience. if you are topping someone, you are having sex with a human being, and they are a participant in that act. it’s literally impossible for a bottom to do no work or give nothing “back” to a top.

many people likewise exclusively top, and pillow princesses are their ideal partners.

if you’re a vers who expects and desires 1:1 reciprocity of sex acts (i.e. you both go down on each other), then a pillow princess or stone bottom is probably not your ideal partner, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with those roles & identities.

people don’t have to have sex the way you like to have sex, and you will not be sexually compatible with everyone you meet. this is an extremely basic concept.

there is no moral superiority to topping, and there is nothing wrong with bottoming—even exclusively.