A Elder Fangirl

"The way I won't have to miss you nearly as often."

For those who have been waiting

Welcome back :D

Excerpts from Alex and Henry's emails

+ Bonus:

First, the leads have absolutely scorching chemistry. They are incredibly believable as two men absolutely infatuated with each other. They each kiss like drowning men shown water, right down to how each grabs at the other, at hair or back or neck and face.

They each have developed their character having a specific characteristic even when flirting or kissing. Henry grabs Alex's hair, for example, every single time, in a way that makes it clear he spends serious time thinking about that hair.

Fair enough, Henry.

They also do something even goddamn better.

They are friends. They are believable as two people who could actually get along long enough to fall in love.

They are allowed to become FRIENDS.

Welcome to today’s “Jen is on her meta, spiralling bullshit” entry. I make no apologies for this - anyone who has followed me for more than two minutes will know this is very much my thing.

I get yelled at in a LOT of tags as a result.

ANYWAY. On my daily rewatch I had to pause at the hospital because it hit me.

“All right, what else? It couldn’t have just been the conference… Oh my god it is. It is, isn’t it?” “Don’t minimise it.” “How could I possibly? It’s already as minimal as it gets.” “It was my first foray into the world as a public figure and I was really scared, and you could have helped me and you didn’t.”

It isn’t minimal though, it never was for Alex. The comment about it being his first foray into the world was something and enough of an explanation as to why Alex has held on to this resentment, but there is more to it, more he doesn’t share in that janitor’s closet.

But even though Henry dismissed it as “minimal as it gets”, he shows that he accepts it wasn’t for Alex and he apologises for being a prick, offering his own explanation for his actions. But not in the “so you should forgive ME” kind of way. Just in the “I hope this helps you understand me” kind of way.

Later, in a hotel bed in Paris, Alex will tell Henry how he wants to do more. How helping people, making a difference, using his platform and his visibilty means so much to him. Being the kind of person that his dad didn’t get to see growing up. Henry will tell Alex that he’s learning. And he is.

Later, Alex emails Henry and expresses his fears about letting his mother down while on the campaign trail in Texas, and Henry reassures him, tells him that he understands what he’s saying (so he doesn’t minimise them this time) and makes it clear how proud he is. Because he has learned that Alex’s fears can consume him and they are very real and valid to him.

Later, in the gardens of Kensington Palace, a broken-hearted Henry will ask his sister if what they do makes any real difference. Because he has learned what this can mean to someone and how he has this gift in his position and his status.

Later, he will ask Alex for time so he can learn how to be brave, because he wants his love for Alex to be a part of his written history. Because he has learned that putting yourself into the world is a terrifying thing and sometimes you need to ask for help with that.

Later, the first thing he will ask Alex is if he is OK, because he has learned to ask, to not just focus on his own emotions. (Which given the Melbourne Climate Conference was literal months after Arthur’s death, Henry is once again going through some Serious Emotional Shit™. But now he asks.)

Later, he will tell his brother and his grandfather that he is not going to hide who he is, who he loves, for the sake of maintaining the traditional royal image out of fear that he won’t be accepted by the people. Because he has learned that there is love and support out there for him to be who he really is.

A moment after, he will take Alex’s hand and walk out onto the balcony in front of the crowd waving the LGBTQIA+ flag. Because he listened and he learned and it won’t be minimal to someone else.

Henry was so focused on himself and his feelings in Melbourne, and he ended up hurting someone that he came to love so deeply and completely. And while what he did during that first night party was understandable - grief is overwhemingly powerful and almost never gracious - he learns that what he does matters. How he is seen matters. How he interacts with people matters.