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൭˙ ˖ J. SHE/HER. ND. 20s. aquarius sun, gemini moon, aries rising. was @whalienjxy

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a perfect world pt.2

a perfect world - gojo x reader angst (ft. nanami & shoko)

rewardable behavior- gojo x reader fluff+ teenager megumi he's home- gojo x reader fluff

pt1

tags: @mor-pheus @nitimurinvetitumsposts @pompompompompompompom

content: shibuya incident, pregnant! reader, hurt/comfort but mostly hurt, angst, mentions of abortion, gojo wanting to be a dad in the future, reader hides pregnancy, mentions of megumi

it’s a bit chilly. you stand in the unusual silence of the square usually buzzing with life, especially on halloween night, positioned on a pedestrian bridge.

there is something pinning you in place. you feel heavy, never enough oxygen in your lungs. you have a few minutes before you need to meet with your team-mates, so this is the last bit of peace you will get for a while.

you try to ignore the burden lying within you. guilts seeps in your brain at the thought that it is a burden, because fuck, you’re never the person to call a child, let alone the product of you and satoru’s love, a burden.

but right now? when you’re about to lay your life in a fight you don’t even know you’ll survive?

a sense of protection overtakes you, surging panic through your very veins, urging you to just fucking flee. you don’t have a good feeling about this mission.

you lowkey hoped that he’d find you before it all goes down. you didnt have the time to meet after your big revelation, only having time to throw in a couple of “stay safe”s through text, but at a time like this, when everyone inside the veil is asking for the gojo satoru, you doubted he’d have time for you.

however, a gust of wind proves you wrong. you don’t move, looking over the railing still as the atmosphere buzzes with the pure powerful energy that is your satoru.

your heart drops when first thing he does is wrap his arms around you from behind, a hand settling on your belly.

“pissing all by yourself, handsome?”

you genuinely can’t help the giggle pulled out of you, no matter how short-lived it is. he rests his chin on the top of your head, and you tilt your gaze down to settle on the instinctive hand resting protectively where a whole new life is being created. you hesitantly put your hand on top of his, a shaky breath escaping your lips at your first attempt of acknowledging the slightest of bumps under your hands.

“is this your post?” satoru asks quietly.

“no,” you intertwine your fingers with his. the sadness in your bone at a loss that is yet to happen heavies you some more. this embryo's story is bound to end before it even begins. “i’m with nanami and megumi outside the veil.”

“i heard nanami’s bringing ino around for his grade 1 recommendation,” gojo builds a conversation. he lowers his head to your shoulder, turning his head to plant a sweet, lingering kiss on hour neck. “that’s bound to be a good watch party.”

“ino’s talented.” you reply, voice empty, mind elsewhere. “it’s about time.”

you two stay quiet for a few seconds, looking out on your comrades at a distance. the gnawing in your chest opens it up, convincing you that if satoru lets you go the world will cease to exist.

you grasp his right bicep with your left hand, pulling you both more into one another. he doesn’t move his hand from your belly, and you are almost convinced that he just fucking knows somehow. self-conscious, you turn around in his arms, allowing him to hold you to his chest instead.

your arms are tugged in between you two, and from another angle, it will look like satoru has engulfed your body whole into his.

“oh, my baby,” you can hear the smile in his voice while your eyes brim with tears. “we’ll be fine. quick in and out.”

you try to nod in his chest, but a sob involuntarily breaks out of your lips. he rocks you side to side silently, sighing in what sounds like absolute content to your ears.

you’re not crying because of the mission, you’re never like this.

everything is happening at once. you can’t even breathe properly unless his arms are around you.

“good thing you’re with megumi,” he rests his chin on the crown of your head again. “if that fucker decides to summon mahogara one more time—“

your sob breaks into laughter. you hit him on the chest.

satoru laughs along with you. “he’s so dramatic sometimes. i wonder who is he like.”

you look up at him, face red and tear-stained and all, with a deadpan that makes him want to kiss you silly. he continues laughing, and you realize that his blindfold hangs around his neck, allowing you to see just how big his smile is. dimples on display and eyes closed in absolute bliss. you want to grab him and run.

he grabs your cheeks endearingly, resting his forehead on yours. “I think we did a good job raising him, no?”

oh god.

more tears brim in your eyes as he tilts his head back to properly look at you. you attempt to smile as you nod, but the thoughts his previous statement triggered chokes you. you are, once again, reminded of what lies in the space between the two of you.

and by the look in his eyes, you know what he will say next will break you.

“good practice run. little fucker is at maximum difficulty.” he plants a kiss to your nose. “I never thought i'd be dad material, really. but having those kids around recently,” satoru pauses, wiping a thumb gently on your cheek. "seeing you with them, made me wonder how nice it'd be to have some of our own at some point."

“satoru,” your voice breaks, unable to control the sad expression on your face any longer. one of your hands holds his as he still cradles your cheeks.

"we just need to finish all of this." satoru smiles down at you. "make this world better for them. make it safe for them to grow without trouble."

your arms are suddenly thrown around his neck, and his own scoops you from the ground, pulling you as close as it is humanly possible. you hide your face in his neck, failing to conceal your sobs.

he chuckles a bit, but this time around, you can tell the heaviness that lies within. "come on, sweets. if i knew i'd make you this sad--"

you shake your head almost frantically. "n--no."

“you can cry to me all you want after we’re done,” he gives you a squeeze before he sets you down on the floor. he tilts your head up to him, wiping away your face with the material of his sleeves. “don’t get too shaken up before a fight now, okay?”

you nod almost childishly before he plants a sweet, lingering kiss to your forehead

“you have both megumi and nanami. you three will be just fine. i know you cant take care of each other and get the job done.”

“who’s gonna take care of you?” the look on your face shatter’s satoru’s heart. he still smiles, wiping his thumb under your eye.

“you will,” he grins. “i’ll come back right here, and you’ll take care of me just fine.”

=============================

i thhiinnnkkk im making more parts of this teheee

you always dreamt of a big kitchen with lots of natural sunlight. somewhere far, far away, somewhere you can properly take care of satoru in the way he deserves.

sometimes if your mind drifts far enough, you could almost taste how that feels. you could almost feel the sun on your skin, hear the voices of innocent laughter and running feet echo through the warmth of your home…

but this isn't a perfect world.

in this world, you just happen to be staring at the face-down pregnancy test on the counter. you are bent over on the sink, elbows planted on the counter, and you let your chin hit your chest. breathing is an impossible task.

it’s cold, dull as the worst of knives.

october 31st. you were supposed to be getting ready for the impromptu Halloween party everyone just decided to throw. but once again, since this is far, far away from the world you wish you lived in, you're right here, in one of jujutsu tech's bathrooms with a ticking time bomb within a hand's reach.

"it's probably nothing," shoko puffs out the smoke in her lungs one last time before stomping on her cigarette. "you said you always use protection. I don't think either of you would joke around about something like this."

"my period is four fucking weeks late." you mutter out, yanking on your hair in frustration. "a whole month. this never happened before."

you've been trying to ignore it for weeks, convincing yourself it's just the stress of everything that's going on; it happened before. a couple of weeks and you'd wake up to your uterus being angry at you again, but your breasts grow sorer. you grow cranky and angry and emotional, but you discarded this as another symptom of stress.

four weeks is a little too long.

shoko is quite worried herself, but she can't join your little panic attack. she's the only one you decided to trust with this, and as nonchalant as she usually is, seeing you in such a situation stirred something inside her.

even more so when she has just received a text that summons all hands on deck in shibuya. a text she's sure you're yet to see. a text she shouldn't be showing you until this situation is handled first.

"let's just see it," she steps forwards, a hand on your back for comfort. "whatever the result is."

"i can't have a fucking baby right now."

shoko's hand raises to your nape, giving you a comforting squeeze. she bends down to your level. you look at her.

"we can always get rid of it."

something twists in your chest at the thought, but it seems that this could be the only possible solution for such a situation. you can even do it without telling satoru, since he's been quite busy recently. this would only burden him even more.

"yeah," you nod, looking back down at the sink again. the thought is still running in your brain as you straighten up. you run a hand down your face, shaking your head as if to shake away the anxiety, and you finally reach for the test.

shoko watches as you pause. your chest heaves as you attempt to take deeper breaths, and before she can blink one more time, the test is in your hands.

the bathroom door opens, grabbing only shoko's attention.

"apologies, ladies," nanami's deep voice seems to echo in the breathless bathroom. "we need to go." he takes a step in hesitantly, gaze switching from shoko to your stiff frame. "something is happening in shibuya."

his words fail to be registered by your brain for a while. it takes you all your might to keep standing.

"fuck," you let out breathily.

shoko reaches for the stick in your hand, her stomach twisting at the little + sign on display.

she sighs. "fuck."

"what the hell is going on?" nanami advances towards you two, unable to locate the source of stress in the bathroom until shoko turns around, test in hand.

he stops in his tracks.

"i'm pregnant."

==========================

megumi nods with a roll of his eyes, arms crossed over his chest. “i don’t think she’s gonna be as mad as you think she will be. this isnt the first time this happens, you know?”

“regardless, the lego set remains unmentioned,” satoru points at megumi with a serious index finger, to which megumi rolls his eyes again as he resumes setting the dining table. “the tone of her voice on the phone said she’s coming for blood. i don’t wanna be on her bad side.”

“oh? so you set me up instead?!” megumi lets go of the plates to cross his arms over his chest. “is the strongest really such a scaredy-cat, now?”

“i’m not scared!” satoru is offended, even though he’s about to piss his pants. “and I wasn’t the one that decided that beating up 8 fucking kids on one go was the brightest idea ever, was i?”

“but you rewarded me for it!”

“he did what?”

the two of them freeze in their place, eyes widening as they hold each other’s gazes, too scared to look at the source of the voice coming from the kitchen entrance.

they stay quiet for a solid amount of seconds, and you remain unmoving. gojo gestures for megumi to look at you first, to which megumi replies with a subtle shake of his head, a thin sheet of sweat breaking on his forehead.

“i asked a question.”

thunder is rumbling, and when gojo decides to, very slowly, shift his gaze to you, it’s a scene right out of a horror movie when lightening strikes and thunder rolls on cue. you’re standing at the entrance, drenched from head to toe, a cut or two fresh on your face. your uniform remains unscathed, save for the water dripping to make a little damp pool beneath your feet.

“you’re home early, sweets,” gojo tries to approach, but you pin him in place with a glare. his nervous grin gradually falls from his face. “how was the mission?”

he hears footsteps approaching quickly, and when tsumiki comes to a halt behind you, seeing the state you’re in, she begins to slowly retreat despite satoru’s look of despair at her.

“you rewarded him.” you echo megumi’s words. the 14 year old swallows hard, eyes sliding from you to the suddenly more interesting kitchen sink. “he almost gets expelled, and you reward him.”

“but he didn’t get expelled!” satoru chuckles cheerfully. “he apologized, and all! didn’t you, megumi?” he nudges the teenager’s shoulder pushing him a bit forwards so he can take some of the impact himself. he lowers himself a bit to mumble to him through his teeth. “who’s the scaredy -cat now, huh?”

“I-i—“

“i leave the house for a couple of days— not even a couple, this was a day and a half, and i have to wrap my mission up quickly because my son’s being turned into a delinquent with his dad’s support?”

it takes satoru a couple of seconds to register the words that just came out fo his partner's mouth. he immediately looks at the flustered teenager by his side, to find a light blush on his cheeks and neck.

something warm settles behind gojo's ribcage. it was never addressed, that they're practically family. the only d word megumi calls gojo is dick, but fuck, by the look on megumi's face, the way his skin is painted pink, he knows that the seemingly stoic kid feels the same.

satoru doesn't even think you realize the way you addressed them.

tsumiki peeks her head from behind you. there's a sweet smile growing on her sweet face that he catches. he tries not to smile, he really does, but something in his demeanor is shattering right before his eyes.

"satoru!" you raise your voice, a frustrated frown painting your features, but all satoru feels is the love spreading through his body, his fingertips buzzing with it and all. "this is not rewardable behavior!"

"don't be mad at him..." megumi mumbled, finally taking a step forward. your gaze shifts to him, but he's looking anywhere but you. "he only wanted to cheer me up. this is my fault."

your eyes can't help but soften. gojo watches the change of expression in awe.

"if it helps, they were bullies." satoru chimes in a much softer voice, matching the look on your face. he ruffles the boy's hair, who doesn't push his hand away for the first time in a while. "it's just that megumi here has his own way of doing good. peculiar," gojo pauses with a little laugh when the teenager finally pushes his hand away grumpily. "but he's still doing good."

you finally spot the scar on his cheekbone, one that's already been tended to by satoru it seems, but you still walk across and hold his cheeks in your hands to check it out. its really not that deep, but something still tugs at your heart.

and satoru is still watching the changes of your expression, taking note of every little one. he knows you all too well, you see, and he knows that you're about to start tearing up any second now.

"why don't you guys go fetch angry mom here a towel or two?" he addresses the children, grabbing your wrist to let go of megumi, who looks too guilty for his own good right now. he brings you closer to him instead. "I'm afraid she'll only be grumpier if she catches a cold."

megumi hesitates, but tsumiki calls for him, understanding the cue better than her younger brother.

once they were both out of sight, gojo chuckles in endearment when you shove your face in his chest, uncontrollable tears escaping past your heavy lids. he grabs your head with one hand while the other holds you to him, soaked and all.

"oh baby," he sighs. he doesn't think he's ever been happier than this moment right here. "you just called him my son."

you punch him right in the gut. he groans out in pain, but his hold never wavers on you. "he is your son."

"i think we both prefer the name long-term pain in the ass, but that will do." he raises your head to look at him, and when he sees that red nose and tears down your cheeks, he can't help but giggle some more. "god, you're literally the best thing to ever happen to me."

"shut up." your cheeks burn in his hands, and you're unable to look away. "I was so scared something had happened to him. i would've never forgiven myself."

"the fuck do you take me for?" satoru fakes offense, raising an eyebrow down at you. you roll your eyes at him, from which he takes even more offense, letting you go with a scoff of disbelief. he dramatically removes his sunglasses and crosses his fingers in front of him. "I'll hollow purple your ass so hard right now and you'll never live to tell the tale."

"sure, honey," you pat him on the chest with one hand and wipe away your tears with the other, beginning to turn away from him with a, now more subtle, eye-roll. "whatever you say."

he grabs you and pulls you flush to him again, this time capturing your lips in a sweet, chaste kiss that has your whole body letting loose right there in his arms. your arms wrap around his neck like a reflex, and he squeezes you into him, a dull ache beating in him to just merge your bodies into one,, to have you in his very bones, and maybe even then it wouldn't be quite enough.

"i would rather be torn in two than let something happen to any of you," he breaks away from the kiss to peck your nose. you look into his eyes, and it worries you just how true his statement is. "what else do I have to fight for?"

=====================================

the more satoru makes you feel safe around him, the more this child comes out to play, and he cannot be happier. even though it could backfire on him in the sweetest, most frustrating ways possible.

it can either build up over the week or a single day of satoru not giving you the attention you’re used to from him. he’d notice you getting quieter, retreating from making the first moves. he’d say that it sometimes makes you feel insecure even, but he’s never done that on purpose.

if anything, him making it up to you afterward is usually rather enjoyable for him.

this time, he’s been busy for a few days, only able to throw in mid-day texts and good-night forehead kisses, so you begin to retreat back into your shell. you stop texting him back right away, no double texting when he gets too busy to reply, turning your head away when he tries to kiss you good night, until the weekend finally comes.

it was friday night. work in jujutsu high ends early and both you and the students get the luxury of a couple more hours of freedom, but gojo was nowhere to be found all morning.

your sour mood could be easily detected by the first-years, rendering them just a bit more careful with you for the day, which could be a reason why they were done with their training sessions a bit earlier than usual today.

back home, you convince yourself that you’re unbothered. you light up a few candles, slip in the bath, and pour your favorite shower gel all over, letting the warm water carry the tension off of your back for a bit.

"i don't care," you repeat like a mantra as you put on nice pjs. anything can be happening, right? you shouldn't be bothered this much when he doesn't prioritize you. you knew what you were signing up for when your heart started to beat a little differently around him.

he's gojo satoru, for heaven's sake. with a status and a name like his in such a world, you most definitely were never going to be a priority.

the sun sets and there is still no sign of satoru, so you grab yourself a snack to try to fill the emptiness he is leaving. it could be pms, or you’re just looking a bit too much into it, but your eyes start tearing up at some point. you throw yourself on the empty sofa with something playing on the tv to distract you, but that’s when you hear the click of the lock.

even though it’s still late, this is the earliest he’s been home all week.

"i'm hhooommmee," the sing-a-song tone rings in the house. despite the way your stomach crunches at the sound of his voice, a roll of your still-teary eyes is uncontrollable. you can hear him move in the house until he spots you, and his footsteps accelerate until he jumps over the back of the sofa to settle in his normal position by your side. an arm immediately pulls you to him. "there she is!!"

"mmm," your smile is tight-lipped and barely reaches your eyes. you keep your attention on the tv, suddenly seeming to be much more interesting than your boyfriend.

now, satoru knew this is happening, and the man never shows up to a fight unprepared.

“what are you watching?” the lights turn off without either of you moving a muscle, leaving the light from the tv as your only guide into the darkness. he takes off his glasses, focusing on the tv for a few seconds. “new girl? again? what are we? 20?”

“i don’t have anything else to offer, i’m afraid.”

his head dips to your neck. the tall man takes some rather big, dramatic whiffs as he squeezes you even closer, pulling yet another eye roll out of you.

however, those eye-rolls seem to always come as a package deal with something twisting girlishly in your stomach.

“you smell so nice, baby, what the hell.” you feel his nose press against your neck almost obnoxiously.

“mhmm,” you let out, trying to pull away just a bit until he straightens again, a bright smirk on his very, very kissable lips.

“you took a bath without me?”

“that’s what one does when they get back from work to find the house empty again, yes.”

“did you eat?”

you say nothing, but your grumpy gaze snaps to his, and you wish you can just slap that victorious smile off of his face. “no.”

“i figured,” his hands slip to your waist, and in one swift move, you are facing him on his lap, knees on each side of his hips. “so, an early day at work, no food, and no boyfriend? you must’ve had the worst day ever.”

you’re not aware of the way your lips pout grumpily. you just frown at him and cross your arms over your chest with a roll of your eyes. “it went fine.”

“did it, now?”

“yes. very.”

“what’s this pout for, then?”

you glare at him. intensely, ardently, you just stare daggers into his head, and the man has the audacity to giggle at your reaction. his hands slip to cup your cheeks before he squeezes them together, making your lips pucker grumpily, then he kisses the pout away in a very obnoxious, loud, messy manner.

“you missed me, didn’t you?” he rocks your face gently, using a baby voice that makes you slap his hands away immediately.

“no.”

"oh you so did. you so did." he only stops rocking your face when you slap his hand away, a gesture at which he giggles lovingly. "I missed you too." he wraps his arms around your waist, leaning his head back against the couch so he can look up at you. "very much so."

"ah yes, yes, of course," you cage his head to the couch, frowning down at him. "what else? you didn't mean to act like you forgot I existed all week?"

"oh, how could i?" he tilts his head to the side. the blissful look on his face as he looks up at you, soft ocean-colored eyes and all, is putting you in a very weak position in this argument. "I can deadass write a 100k word essay about every thought I've had about you this past week alone."

you try to get off his lap, but steel grips are on your waist, pulling you flush back to him. his hand slips under your shirt, the cold skin sending shivers down your back.

"come on, baby. you know i'm sorry." his tone turns a bit serious, and your grumpiness begins to subside. "with yuji and sukuna's fingers, I can barely have enough time to even piss." he reaches up and brushes a strand of your hair out of your face. "i'd rather drop dead than forget you existed."

"ugh," you roll your eyes, turning your head away only to have it adjusted back by a gentle hand to gaze down at him.

"i missed you so much, baby," he leans closer, eyes turning softer by the second as he brings you in by your cheek, one that's literally burning under his touch. after all those years of being together, gojo satoru is still very capable of turning you into putty in his hands.

"i think i missed you more," you mumble, eyes planted droopily on his lips in the dark room. newgirl is still playing in the background. your body relaxes into his, and arms wrap lovingly around his neck. "I was literally about to start crying right before you stepped through that door."

he kisses you briefly, but it's interrupted by a fit of endeared chuckles. "oh no, baby," he holds your face in his hands as he laughs, and you try to push at his chest to get away to no avail. "I'm so sorry," he continues on shamelessly, making you lean your forehead on his. "I promise I'm gonna try to do better."

"shut up," you hit his chest. "don't do that. work is still important. that was selfish of me."

"never more important than you are," he swipes your hair from your face again, pushing it behind your shoulder. "besides, I already did what I wanted to do with the fingers in my possession. so until further notice, I'm all yours."

you lean down, giving him a proper kiss this time, one in which you both sigh in relief. god, you missed the way he tastes.

"good. we have a lot of rotting in bed to catch up on."

==================================

another sleepless dawn breaks upon the horizon. you lay there, and even amongst the sweat and blood and dirt, your eyes watch the sky turn purple unblinkingly.

you’re done with your mission, the veil is down. you can go home now.

but isnt it peaceful?

the autumn breeze is gentle on your cheeks. you can still see the stars, and the moon, just like you, doesn’t seem to want to go home just yet. so you just lay there, basking in each other’s presence as you finally feel something akin to that you once felt in your youth.

its been years. seven? eight? all you know that its been long enough to forget his voice. his features started to fade away a little too, but when it gets so bad that you start to panic, you get out the old stash of grainy old pictures to reminisce on how his hair used to feel between your fingers, but you’ve long forgotten that too.

has he changed? did he cut his hair short or is he letting it fall to his back?

has the skin beside his eyes begin to wrinkle?

you dont cry about it anymore. you’ve already done your fair share of that. now all that remains is an empty, hollow place in your chest where he once occupied.

the purple of the sky turns into lilac, and your eyes begin to feel heavy. you can’t get up. you’re not severely injured or anything, a scratch here and a gash there, but the very will to get yourself on your feet remains lost, and you don’t even care. they’ll probably send someone to check the scene out soon, they can take you home then.

the weather is nice, its peacefully quiet, and you haven’t slept in over 48 hours. what can a little nap do? your eyes flutter closed.

“you got bold.”

in a split second, your dagger was aimed up to protect your face. your vision is a bit blurry when u snap your eyes open to see a sea of faded features exactly above you. only the dagger in your hand separates your faces.

you blink furiously, trying to get the impaired vision to set straight. the person above you is squatting behind your head, its a man for sure. his shoulders are so broad he almost blocks your whole vision, casting a shadow over you. he tilts his head as your eyes begun to scan his face, vision returning gradually.

your heart sinks.

the skin beside his eyes did start to wrinkle.

“suguru.” it comes out in a breath.

“what are you doing out here?”

“suguru?” your fingers loosen on the dagger for only a couple of seconds, your body just never used to having its defenses up in his presence, but this isn't the same person anymore. no longer the geto suguru you knew and loved. you need to remember this.

“i can’t think of a worse place to nap in, to be frank.”

your knuckles turn white around your dagger again.

“how did you find me?”

“you made quite a scene.”

he let his hair grow longer. way longer than you thought. some of it falls on his shoulder, and he’s keeping it up from his face in a bun like he used to. they say hair keeps memories. you sigh in relief.

despite everything, your hands are aching to reach for him. to cradle his face and brush through the silky strands, but you only keep a firm grasp on the sharp instrument between you two.

the sky is getting brighter. you don’t want the moon to leave you alone with him. the sun will only make him more real.

“are you just going to lay there?” he tilts his head again, gesturing at you. “don’t you have somewhere to report back to?”

“why are you here?”

“you see, i happen to sorta eat curses, and you just exorcized my dinner.”

“oh,” it comes out uncontrollably.

“impressive show to watch, to be honest.” you feel his hand on yours, it makes you flinch. he pushes your armed hand away from your faces with the littlest of forces, but your hand now rests beside your head, the dagger tumbled out of your grasp. “you’ve gotten stronger.”

“i was never weak.” it was intended to be a harsh snarl, but you feel choked. your voice barely held any venom in it.

geto smiles a bit. “i never thought you were.”

no, no. no.

you push him away with a hand to his chest that you wish lingered a bit more than it did, pulling yourself up in a sitting position with your back to him. it’s an open meadow, theres no where you can run and hide. you need to get out of here. his very scent is intoxicating you, pulling tears up from somewhere you thought you buried deep.

“leave me alone.” you throw over your shoulder. you catch a glimpse of him, he’s still squatting down, watching you intently. “i dont want you here.”

he stays quiet, you can only hear the sound of your own harsh breaths. your eyes blur, this time with tears, but you don’t think you can hold out for long.

what is he thinking, showing up like that? after all this time? did he think you’ll run into his arms like you once did? does he take pleasure from watching you like that, body shaken up with choked back tears, unable even to look him in the eye?

that’s it. you push yourself up despite the gash on the side of your thigh that pulls out a yelp out of you.

“i’m leaving, then.” you begin to limp away. the first tear betrays you.

suddenly, the ground in front of you is split by a line of shadows from which a curse materialized in front of you. a dragon, it’s tail wiggling with its teeth pulled back in a snarl. a certain curse that you were always practically fond of.

you stumble back. the eyes widened in shock fell back to familiarity, a gaze that still holds the pain of loss. somehow you still know that none of this is the way it used to be, no matter how familiar.

the curse draws closer. it’s not threatening, just forcing you back until you hit a solid figure behind you. you turn back abruptly, hands immediately in a position to push geto away, but he was always quicker than you were.

his hands were there to welcome your wrists instead, grip unyielding despite your trials to break away. he doesn’t look tense when you look up at him. doesn’t look threatened, nor angry, just…

sad. he looks sad.

“come on, baby,” his voice was so low, you’d thought it was a part of your imagination if you didn’t see his lips move. “don’t do this to me.”

don’t do this to me??? you want to scream at him. want to bang on his chest until it cracks open, but all you seem to be able to do is look up at him as tears flow freely down your face, and he looks so fucking sad.

he lets go of one wrist, hesitant for a second to see what your reaction will be. his hand traces up to your face, big fingers cradling your face with the world’s gentleness in them. the other hand softens around your wrist, slipping up until his thumb rests in the palm of your hand, then geto heaves out a sigh.

his eyes scan your face for a few seconds.

“you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you.”

you almost hear the sound of your heart shattering. your lips fall apart, you too scanning his face, except you’re doing it to find any sign of bluffing, anything that can mend whatever remains of your shattered heart, but all you find is sincerity.

“what are you doing?” disbelief is evident on your features.

his forehead falls to yours, and your fist unclenches on his chest. you can feel the heartbeat under his bones.

“i dont know,” he breathes out, he still smells the same. your noses touch. “i don’t know, but let us just have this.”

“sugu…” you sob. your hand traces up to rest on the side of his neck, almost scared to touch his hair.

“y/n…” his chest heaves, your lips brush as he whispers your name. “please.”

you barely manage a little nod, a broken sob escaping past your lips only to be swallowed by a pair of desperate ones that knock the very oxygen out of you.

his lips on yours are so familiar. you’ve done this hundreds of times, yet never enough. your hands, finally, slip through the silky strands, and you almost cry out because you remember it all all over again. the sleepless nights and the calls until dawn breaks, the silly braids you used to decorate his hair with, it all slams into you like a high-speed train.

but a strong grasp is holding you firmly, preventing your knees from giving out. he kisses you like a starved man, like he misses the very air you breath, like it’s been tearing him up inside not having you in his arms like this.

you let yourself believe that this is all true. that he’s been spending even more sleepless nights than you are. that no call of his name sounds as soothing as the way your tone sounds.

but its not gonna last long. you two begin to treat those few minutes like they are your last on earth. his hand slips under your uniform to touch as much skin as possible, and you cradle his face, planting the feeling of his hair between your fingers deep in your memories.

i love yous and im sorrys are muttered, but you’re not sure who says them. you pull back to look at him and he’s never looked this vulnerable. you hold yourself back from asking why and how could you, but you know you wont like the answer. geto suguru never regrets the choice he makes.

as much as his love for you and for his friends remains, his mind has been set on this path long ago.

“next lifetime,” you breathe shakily, holding his face to yours intimately. “let’s stay away from jujutsu altogether, hm?” you try to smile, swiping a thumb under his eye. “we’ll just run, okay? we’ll run and stay together.”

geto smiles, wiping your tear-stained cheek with a calloused thumb, but he says nothing.

"no, you have to promise me." your grip tightens on the material of his clothes, panic surging through your eyes. "you'll find me."