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Jim: Where are you going?

Claire: To get myself a gift ‘cause SOMEBODY didn’t get me one!

Jim: I told you I did! It’s coming here on Friday!

Toby, knowing full well that Jim got Claire an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

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Aja, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I don’t really think heels are for me.

Claire, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

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Claire: I was voted “friendliest classmate” in high school.

Toby: I was voted “most likely to become a clown.”

Jim: Ha! You think that’s bad? I was voted “most likely to get rabies.”

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Steve: Don’t worry, I have a permit!

Jim: This just says “I can do what I want.”

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Toby: We are thick as thieves!

Jim: Okay.

Toby: As juicy as burglars!

Jim: Stop.

Toby: Just a couple of dummy thicc steal-y bois!

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Jim: So does anyone have any healthy stress outlets?

Claire: Screaming.

Aja: Violence.

Krel: Tea.

Toby: Also violence.

Jim: …Okay, so we’ve got tea.

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Toby: Eli’s refusing to wear his glasses!

Eli: Toby, look, I wore glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.

Eli: *points to Aja* Aja.

Eli: *points to Krel* Krel.

Eli: *points to Steve* Sasquatch.

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Aja: Why aren't there adult-sized playgrounds? Like, everything is the same as a kids playground, but bigger. Why do we not have those?

Jim: Theme parks. Just theme parks.

Toby: But you have to pay for theme parks.

Claire: That's the adult part.

Krel: Kleb.

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'Can I copy the homework?'

Claire: I can help you with it!

Jim: Yeah, sure.

Toby: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Krel: lol nope.

Steve: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Aja: *Read 5:55pm*

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Mary: *opens the door and sees Jim and Douxie standing there*

Mary: Claire, your boyfriends are here!

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Krel: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Steve: Not if they consent to it.

Aja: Depends on who you’re stabbing.

Eli: YES??!!

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Claire: As your best friend-

Toby: Jim is my best friend.

Claire, holding a knife: As your best friend-

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Krel: I just ended a four year relationship. Jim: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Krel: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship. *Steve and Aja fighting from across the room*

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Jim: We have to get to a hospital and we have to get there fast!

Blinky: Then I should drive.

Toby: Why you?

Blinky: I have nothing to live for, and I drive like it.

Jim: Okay, let’s do it.

[cut to]

Everyone: *in the car screaming*

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Jim: Wait, I hear crying! Oh, it’s just me!

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•18+ Adults Only

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Claire: Can I have a private talk with you?

Aja: Okay, as long as it’s not about tampons because I just don’t understand them.

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Jim: Hold up. So you’re Steve’s girlfriend?

Aja: I am.

Steve: She is.

Jim: Interesting. WHY?!

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