Sometimes Confused Potato

@splitphilosophies @failingxxatxxlove @self-right-blog @cosmicqueengaia @trainbangled @lightning-sabre @dcbat @m-ditty @jamesthomassca-blog @yeahsureiguesswhatever @cheezbot 

Once so filled with warmth

Now fading dimmer and dimmer as the years go on

The sun was bright and shined on everyone in its path

A radiating presence that no one could deny

Now getting colder and colder every hour

The sun was happy to be there for those who wanted to bathe in its rays

Many looked forward for the sun to come out

Now falling further and further every minute

The sun forgot how to shine and how to spread warmth

They wondered where it went

I had a dream and you were there

It’s weird to think it’s been more than 5 years

It’s annoying that I still have flashbacks after all this time

It’s weird that the thought of it still effects me

It’s annoying that I still cry in the blink of an eye when I remember

In the dream we were at a familiar place

It was present day

It was at a place that was similar to my grandmas house but also similar to my swine of a father’s house

We were trying to escape the house because there was an unknown figure trying to kill us

We laughed and escaped together

We arrived at a place that was like a deep fried chicken Chinese fast food thing

You bought me a meal

You told me how you were doing

It’s weird to think you’re 26 now, almost 27

It’s weird to think you were a year younger than me when you did it

As we ate our food we caught up

At the end you apologized and explained why you did it

We laughed and agreed that you were being fucking stupid and insecure

But it was nice

I’ve never been more relaxed in a dream where someone was trying to murder me

I’ve been wishing I would let it go

I’ve thought before that I have, but I still get flashbacks to this day

I’ve been wishing I would have more self control

And to think I was comforted by you in the dream

Its weird to think that I haven’t seen you since court

Sometimes I wonder what you’re doing

It’s weird that you were in my dream

Sometimes I wonder if you’ve committed suicide because you always said you would eventually

It’s weird to think you only have 4 years left to live according to what you always said when we were together

Sometimes I get mad I was attracted to you garbage human being

I don’t know where this is going

In the dream we threw our scraps away

I held the door open for you and then I watched you drive away

But then I woke up alone in a dark hot room

It’s weird that this is the first dream I’ve had of you were it was positive

I don’t know what it all means but maybe I’ve let it go a little more

It’s weird how someone can have such a long term effect your life, even though the events were so short