My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like âoh was that you?â Iâd say yeahâŚI didnât have the heart to tell her⌠Oh God⌠Oh ChristâŚ.aahhh, but, Will, sheâs been dead two years and thatâs the shit I remember. Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. Thatâs what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but theyâre not, aw, thatâs the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds. Youâre not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isnât perfect either. But the question is: whether or not youâre perfect for each other. Thatâs the whole deal. Thatâs what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way youâre findinâ out that one is by givinâ it a shot. You certainly wonât learn from an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldnât tell a piss ant like you.
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