❛ but officer, they were fucking with my clique. ❜
❛ if you lose yourself, i will find you. ❜
❛ true friends don’t judge each other. they judge other people. together. ❜
❛ oh, you’re my friend? name three of my albums. ❜
❛ i’m sorry, but you must be at least a level four friend to unlock my tragic backstory. ❜
❛ fuck you but fuck me first. ❜
❛ you’re cute, what is your face html? ❜
❛ my life is one big ‘ wow, ok. ’ ❜
❛ my life is just poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background. ❜
❛ i accidentally messed up my life, how do i start a new account? ❜
❛ my life is a joke and i’m not laughing anymore. ❜
❛ at myself, what the fuck are you doing. ❜
❛ if yahoo answers can’t solve your problem, then you’re in too deep. ❜
❛ this is the police. open up. tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid. ❜
❛ how do you get a nice body without moving. ❜
❛ it’s so hard when you’re in a cuddly mood and don’t have anyone to cuddle with!! this is an outrage!! ❜
❛ ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened? ❜
❛ you ever just ugh really hard? ❜
❛ i’m a really affectionate person one you get past my five layers of shyness, awkwardness, fear, vague dislike and loneliness. ❜
❛ i was confident for like two minutes one time. ❜
❛ all i think about is sex and what i’m going to eat next. ❜
❛ i have my pencils and my tears ready. ❜
❛ i’m that kinda person who, between two choices, will always pick the wrong one. ❜
❛ i avoid everyone, including the people i like. ❜
❛ i always wonder why no one likes me and then i remember that i don’t even like me. ❜
❛ gosh golly! this beat is … whoo! this beat is … DANDY! ❜
❛ it’s hard being hilarious when everyone ignores you. ❜
❛ thinking about space fucks me up. ❜
❛ my biggest struggle in life is trying to make my eyeliner the same on both eyes. ❜
❛ i wish i could illegally download clothes. ❜
❛ heelys don’t have brakes because my swag don’t stop. ❜
❛ i know i make lots of jokes but i promise you, i’m a really sad person. ❜
❛ at least i can admit that i’m a piece of shit. ❜
❛ ‘ i’m not bitter ’ i say bitterly, with a bitter expression. ❜
❛ i’m fluent in talking shit. ❜
❛ it’s crazy how there are seven billion people on the planet and all of them are in love with me. ❜
❛ why am i better than everyone? ❜
❛ sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments. ❜
❛ I SWEAR, I AM NOT CUTE OR SWEET. DON’T CALL ME THAT. I AM EVIL. I AM THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT. FEAR ME. ❜
❛ i don’t ‘ dress to impress. ’ i dress to depress. i wanna look so good that people hate themselves. ❜
❛ i love learning bad things about people i don’t like. ❜
❛ i bet you thought you’d seen the last of me. ❜
❛ i’m just an asshole with feelings. ❜
❛ there’s a special place in hell reserved for me. it’s called the throne. ❜
❛ damn boy, are you the terms and conditions? because i don’t give a fuck about what you have to say. ❜
❛ damn gurl, you flappy bird? because no one likes you. ❜
❛ your tattoo says ‘ only god can judge me, ’ yet here i am. ❜
❛ i’m not even sassy, i’m just an asshole. ❜
❛ i’m not a bitch, i am the bitch. ❜
❛ i like being obsessed with things so that i am distracted from how much i hate myself. ❜
❛ tips on talking to me when i’m pissed off: don’t. ❜
❛ my fashion sense is called ‘ i am cold and pissed off. ’ ❜
❛ maybe ‘ fuck you ’ will be our always. ❜
❛ i believe in hate at first sight. ❜
❛ you hate me? wow, so much in common already. ❜
❛ i’m filled with hate and useless facts. ❜
❛ do you ever just wear headphones so people won’t talk to you? ❜
❛ i’d be such a good girlfriend, you’re all missing out. ❜
❛ getting into a relationship may seem tempting but so was getting on the titanic ship and look what happened there. ❜
❛ there’s always gonna be that one person who you can’t get out of your mind, no matter how hard you try. ❜
❛ i ship me and money. ❜
❛ have you ever met someone who’s smile looks like it could make flowers grow? ❜
❛ how do i get over someone i never dated? ❜
❛ i have a very big crush on you but sadly i am only a little bug and you are a garden. ❜
❛ if you grab my face right before you kiss me, i’ll definitely fall in love with you. ❜
❛ i don’t like your clothes, take them off. ❜
❛ put me in the coffin with both middle fingers up. ❜
❛ dying is taking too long. ❜
❛ being cremated is my last hope of getting a hot, smoking body. ❜
❛ don’t joke about murder. i was murdered once and it offends me. ❜
❛ you can’t spell school without ‘ i want to stab myself. ’ ❜
❛ good news, everyone: dogs. ❜
❛ if you think it’s impossible to fall asleep to heavy metal, then you’re completely wrong. ❜
