Accidentally Sexy

This morning, I woke up and all I could think was "Ugh. You again, vodka?"

I think it's time we have a talk, vodka. This break up was a long time coming.

Before you start pointing at the clock and pulling out my body-con dresses, let me explain this to you.

My friends think you're boring. I mean, seriously. Showing up in tonic...again! You're completely indistinguishable from any other glass on the bar. It's embarrassing for us to be seen together.

You're tasteless in the worst possible way. Yes, I used to find it cute that you could blend into any cranberry juice and diet coke with great ease. It was like you weren't even there at all! But, really, I mean...isn't that part of the problem?

You flirt with sorority girls way too much for me to want to be committed to you. Do I really want to be seen with the same drink as every Ashley, Megan and Courtney out there? I have a little more self respect than that.

And, I'm going to be honest, you are a MESS in the morning. My head hurts and my stomach turns just thinking about you. You really hurt me like nothing else does. And you weigh on my mind days longer than you should.

I want something I could bring home to my parents, vodka! And that...that is just not who you are.

You're the name I call when I'm feeling unimaginative. You're the one I want when I'm just looking for a buzz. And, quite frankly, you come on a little too strong.

I want to wrap my love around you

Protect you like a blanket

Hold my heart to your heart

Until the beats match

I feel what you feel

And I want to use my love like a shield

What I’ve learned from loving

Is that the pain never goes away

But it always heals

I’ve learned that it can pour over hate

Like lava until it disappears

I’ve learned that it can give you purpose

And sight through your tears

I want to use my love

To hide you from the world

And safe from those who might harm you

But I can’t do that

Your story isn’t one to be hidden

Your light pours out in the cold

The power you have inside you

Is too bright

But when you are feeling weak

Drink in my love

When you are vulnerable

Let me hold you

I can’t hide you

But I can light your path

I can’t shield you

But I can stand alongside you

And when you are tired

And need a breath

When the work seems to hard

And the road seems to long

Let my love remind you

This would make my life. There are currently rumors swirling around reality TV show gossip heads that an actual TV star will be the next Bachelor. With this is mind, Match.com conducted a poll to discover who is the early fan favorite to take up this role. Parks & Rec star and cool as f-bombs... Read more »

Photo Credit: Flickr.com/hsld

Love Is Boring.

Take one look at Tumblr and you will immediately understand how unrealistic many of our views of love are. We want a lot. We want the goosebumps, the champagne, the super charged doing it, the I-can't-stand-it-one-more-second-without-you passion. And we want it Every. Day. All ups, no downs.

Look at Sex and The City. Those grown women were all shades of total batshit crazy. Big was a complete dickhole to Carrie, then to his wife and then to Carrie again. But he was so confusing and passionate that we all ate it right up, bought the box set AND saw all three movies...even though the last one was pretty culturally insensitive and the campiest movie made since Glitter. I swear, if I'm in my 40s and still making the same dumb mistakes I'm making now, I'm getting a sex change and calling it a day. Being a guy wouldn't make everything magically better, but, at least, I would be making slightly different mistakes.

I could probably write an entire post about how Carrie is the worst female heroine. In the last season, she has to go to Big's office for financial advice, because she is losing her apartment...because she doesn't know how to balance a checkbook or has never even tried to save any money...or something horrifying like that. She might be "making it on her own" in terms of being unmarried, but she is far from being independent.

And I know this. I recognize that wanting the sort of love that makes you lose your breath, smile when you catch yourself thinking of the other person, feel like you're the only people in a crowded room, etc, is a somewhat immature way of viewing things. I get that. Truly. But...

I WANT TO FEEL ALL THE THINGS!

I go through stages of believing that romantic love is a real thing and thinking it's total crap. I think that's because I'm still trying to understand what love means. Most examples that I've seen have gotten it really wrong. I don't want to be part of that group. I want that extra piece. That extraordinary love. That real love. Ya know...if there is such a thing.

I read this fantastic piece by Lisa Jo Baker this morning. She describes her love as an "ordinary" type of love, which is an idea I found totally compelling. Love is boring in that you find it in mundane places. She wrote that she found love in her husband's willingness to be there for her. Straight and simple.

This ordinary love that wakes up with bad breath and crease marks on its cheeks and is the daily bread that sustains across time zones and countries and cultures and the exhaustion of trying to figure out how to be a parent and a grown up and somebody’s forever. - Lisa Jo Baker, When You Think Your Love Story Is Boring

THAT is all of the things.

Even if love is boring, love is still a beautiful, beautiful thing. Love is the ability to just "be" in a moment together. It's relying on and being relied on. It's trusting and being trusted. Love is the novel. Passion is the episode. It's that person who believes you are so valuable that they want to spend the rest of their life with you. And you are a reflection of that worth.

Love is finding that mutual weirdness and going with it. Releasing yourself to the "ordinary" may just make you extraordinary.

The Underground is reopening in Chicago on Thursday, August 1, aka Lollapalooza weekend. After an extensive renovation and expansion, the celebrity-riddled pretty people paradise is back! This is what I know. A few days ago, this cryptic message from Billy Dec arrived in my inbox. I’m terrified. Sign me up. I’ll get into the details in... Read more »

Shopkeeper: ...

Full story here: http://www.chicagonow.com/accidentally-sexy/2013/07/everybodys-mad-that-justin-bieber-touched-the-stanley-cup/

Justin Bieber touched the Stanley Cup and everybody is all mad about it. 

Him: Picture of his feet on coffee table, watching TV.

Me: Pic of hibiscus, because I'm at the Chicago Botanical Center

Him: Shirtless

Me: Yep. I work Monday through Friday.

Niece: ....that's just like school.