breathe

smashmouth was right… so much to do, so much to see

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

This continues to be the single greatest piece of staged dialogue ever created

marry her faster

don’t take her for granite

this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you

Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?

who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese

who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese

I wanna destroy the culture of “women have to wear makeup to be considered presentable” and replace it with “makeup is a fun accessory that allows u to have horribly fake purple lips and green eyelids if u want yee haw who wants some glitter on their nose” who’s with me on this

Skin is a built in onesie

it’s past tents

dont listen gorgeous