Perspective Is Everything

My mother passed when I was 16 every year we visit her grave and it never gets easy but you’d think that the person that loves you would be there to help you through it even if it’s just a shoulder to cry on especially since I’ve done the same for you no matter what and you just disappeared 2 years in a row

Sure there’s a level of love but the intemisy is what draws you deeper into that overwhelming feeling because it’s something that the two of you share passionately physically and emotionally and if you can’t think of it that way then sex is just sex nothing more nothing less just pleasure most women see a man and think that’s all he wants and in reality for a lot of men that’s what it is for me it’s more than that and if you can’t give me that feeling with the same intention rather than just having sex and crossing it off a check list of to do’s that day then it’s not special and it’s not what I’d want I can find that with millions of women but that kind of love I’d want with the woman I want to spend rest of my life with if you can’t give that then you aren’t as emotionally invested into a relationship sex isn’t just something you give someone like me to shut them up sorry I’m not like all the other guys you’ve been with

Asked her to come watch a movie with me like a billion times and she completely ignored me and changed the subject :(

I was at the bar and drunk me got into a conversation with a couple and I spent a lot of the night praising them telling them how great they are and to never let go of what they have and the way they looked at eachother touched my heart I wish I could have something like that I wish I could go places like that with person I love and have a great time like that and look at them knowing I’m not alone just drowning my sorrows but with them rejoicing on the moment

I’ll always be a failure to myself and to the people around me

Every small thing I’ve tried to take note of all the effort I put in to make you happy and i was so occupied trying that I didn’t even realize you never did that you’re probably not even capable of it

I just read those text today and I feel extremely offended like wow I get why you didn’t want me to see it I guess I’m just “temporary” I definitely wasn’t enough to defend I’ve lost so many people putting you first and you just let people talk about our relationship like that it’s unbelievable

You spend most of your time trying to fix everything around you so you can forget you’re what needs fixing the most... maybe I’m just hoping all the people I help will see I need almost as much I gave to them but that will always be wishful thinking

I wonder when and if she’ll notice me