*mii music plays*

Like, when my agents are pitching me for something, they'll be like, "Look at his facebook! Look at his tiktok!" They're never gonna say, "100,000 people follow him on tumblr. Remember tumblr?"

But the thing is, I don't actually use facebook or tiktok (except for promo). This is the only place I use, the only place where I'm interested in the community and shared creation and all that shit.

someone urinated into the ballpit while it was empty and posted it in the tag

this is not a joke

well its my box and you cant hang out in it because its mine and for tigers

2:50 I'm in an ongoing meeting and I notice my phone buzz. I glance at it

Outlook notification that says "1:1 with [my full first name] [my last name] @3:05"

My only standing 1:1 meeting is with my manager

Not this day of the week, not this time, not titled like this

Ruling that out, for a meeting I did not expect and did not recognize, my next and most immediate assumption was "fuck. fuck it's a layoff snipe. they just put this on my calendar and it's a layoff snipe"

You can see this in my expression as I'm, on camera, frantically pulling up my work calendar

4 seconds into this I suddenly remember the new principal engineer in our org who, a few weeks back, scheduled a flurry of 1:1 meetings with other engineers in the org to meet/break the ice

I had, weeks ago, been like "yeah sure whatever. accept."

Me on camera full mouth-open head-tilt-back "OH" expression

I turned my camera off after another like 4 seconds because my face was not going back to normal

well every time i've called, the new representative has been like "i'm so sorry, but there's no ticket by that number. i have no record of you ever calling about this. i'll start a ticket for you."

finally, the fifth time i nearly burst into tears of frustration and i said "i don't want you to start a ticket for me, because it will be the sixth ticket created for this same issue. every week, one of your colleagues tells me they'll create a a new ticket for me, and then nothing happens."

they said, "i'm sorry but i have no record of those tickets existing." and i was like i KNOW. but they doooooo what is happening.

finally i got transferred to a supervisor's supervisor.

if you've ever worked in online customer service, you know that when a customer calls with a problem, you create a "ticket" that puts that issue into the system. if you can't resolve it, it goes into a ticket queue, where other people with the ability to resolve it select it, put it into their personal working queue, and resolve it.

well after 30 minutes of searching, this supervisor tells me, dumbfounded, that she's discovered a completely unique queue she's never seen before, where my tickets have been going somehow. a pocket universe queue that no one has access to or can edit or select from, not even her. she has no idea what's happening. she's like "yes, here are all your tickets, and no one can open them or comment on them or resolve them.....this is crazy......" and it's JUST my tickets in there. no one else's. of tens of thousands of customers.

all professionalism fell by the wayside. i told her i've worked with those queues before and also found that totally wild. she was like "what the hell is going on...." and talked me through everything she was seeing and how gobsmacked she was. we were both like "this is one for the books truly"

tells me she's going to have to bring this up above herself because this is a really big error on like, a coding level, that she has no idea how to resolve. tells me she will personally call me back tomorrow to update me.

four days pass with no word.

i call customer service again. random agent. explain the entire situation, including that last bit.

agent says "i'm sorry but i have no record of those tickets existing. i'll have to start a ticket for you. rest assured, it will be resolved."

i said, "no it won't be. it never will be. because they're in the special queue."