Cake

Qiu 

You notice right off the bat that they’re in a bad mood;

Qiu is easy to read once you grow used to them;

You see it in their tense shoulders and locked jaw, in the way they don’t react to your teasing with more teasing in return, but just a exhale of air from their nose and a hum of acknowledgement;

Qiu code for “I’ll let you win this time.”;

This shows they‘re really not okay, because Qiu never lets you get away with teasing them without teasing you back with expertise, leaving you so flustered your might as well call it a loss;

But you know it’s challenging to make them speak about what’s bothering them;

They take care of people, but aren’t often willing to let themselves be taken care of in return;

It’s after their ballet class that you’re able to finally catch them— it’s their last official obligation of the day before going home to study;

If they’re surprised at seeing you lingering in their doorway, they don’t show it;

You wordlessly follow them inside, managing a small greeting to their mum before walking up to their bedroom;

It’s routine, at this point;

You sit on their bed as Qiu showers and gets dressed in the bathroom, and when they return, they’re ready;

Qiu sits down beside you, resting their head against your shoulder unceremoniously;

“I’m tired.” They say, and you understand that it means much more than what Qiu’s letting on;

“I know.” You say, and lean your head against theirs. “I know.”

Tamarack

When Tamarack’s upset, you can’t find her easily;

She’s quieter and tries her best to blend in with the crowds or in the shadows;

Which isn’t really effective to get you off her back;

Tamarack isn’t someone that can simply pass by unnoticed by you, after all;

After school she’s outside;

Barely even entering her house to leave her things before she makes her way into the woods;

It’s a good place to be alone;

Tamarack has grown to know the woods so well it doesn’t matter if she aimlessly walks around the forest, she always manages to find her way back;

You give her some time to be alone before venturing out into the woods to find her;

If Tamarack really wants to disappear, she will;

But today she’s sitting beneath her favourite tree, using a stick to draw something in the dirt;

She looks up at you and smiles as a greeting;

Tamarack has been expecting you;

You sit beside her, after finding your own stick to doodle with;

You two are silent for a moment as you draw together— she draws a sun and clouds, and you attempt to draw little cows grazing on the grass;

Although Tamarack insist they look more like dogs than cows;

You manage to get a few giggles out of her when you try, futilely, to defend your artwork;

and that’s enough to make her feel better enough to talk about what’s been bothering her;

I think they’ve always been aware that MC was different from their other friends;

As a kid, they remember other friends complaining about Qiu’s giving MC special treatment, and as someone preoccupied with fairness it used to annoy them to no end;

Because they knew it was true, they just didn’t understand why they felt so compelled to treat them this way;

As they grew up and the idea of romantic love became a less threatening, more concrete concept, it didn’t take them too long to piece it together;

MC was always there for Qiu, always ready to show them support and kindness and to look out for them, when Qiu was used to other people relying on them to be like that;

They’d watch them laughing at something Tamarack said and would just feel this… warmth in their chest;

Like this was something they’d need to protect;

The world could be a cruel place, but MC’s kindness and their laughter was the one thing Qiu wanted to preserve;

I don’t think Qiu had this grand moment of realisation;

It happened one night, right at the beginning of autumn, when the leaves started falling and the nights grew colder;

They both agreed to meet in Qiu’s backyard in the early hours of the evening to look at the stars through a telescope together;

Mc managed to bring their favourite tea in a thermos, and gave Qiu the biggest hug once they saw them;

They were just… so happy. Being awake at odd hours of the night trying not to be too loud to not wake Qiu’s parents from their slumber;

Watching the stars and talking about mythology;

Mc started rambling about something they had read and stopped in the middle of it, apologizing about speaking too much;

And Qiu found that they didn’t mind it;

Not only that, they welcomed it. They loved how passionate MC was, how happy and comfortable they had been all night;

Qiu didn’t want them to stop at all, and they realized that they wanted to be the person that MC went to when they wanted to talk about these things;

Well… when people described love it always seemed so overwhelming, and in some aspects it was;

But it mostly just felt right;

Their name is Qiu, their friends call them Autumn, and they are in love with MC;

It’s been a part of them for a long time, and was just nice to finally understand that part of themselves;

Not too much changed after that, only that perhaps their affection and special treatment became more blatant;

In their teens, MC is one of the few people Qiu can stand to be around, and after they’ve realised their feelings they started relying on MC a bit more;

Because Qiu trusts them with that!;

Honestly? MC’s affection is one of the things that keep Qiu going;

MC, despite their obliviousness, ends up noticing and making sure to support them whenever he needs it most;

When Qiu is having a bad day MC will just… Wrap them in a hug and stay there for as long as Qiu needs;

If MC noticed how fast Qiu’s heart beats when they hug, they never mention it;

There are also more subtle types of affection;

Like linking their arms together while walking, grabbing their hand to lead them somewhere or just leaning against Qiu when they’re tired;

Even with all their angst, MC’s affection is always a sure way to soften them;

Qiu will often pinch their cheeks or pat them on the head and lightly tease them for being touchy;

I’m pretty sure Qiu’s love language is acts of service, but knowing how important physical affection is to the MC, Qiu will make sure to initiate it too;

Honestly, I don’t see Qiu as a very jealous person, and knowing Tamarack for years and being close to her, I don’t think that they’re jealous about MC showing her affection too;

Instead, it makes them happy that MC is surrounded by good people that care about them as much as Qiu does;

Tamarack ends up noticing their crush eventually;

I mean… I’m sure everyone knows about it except MC themselves;

And even if she seems a little too invested in it and will sometimes give Qiu a hard time about it in private, she’s very supportive;

And it means a lot to them to have MC’s other best friend support them like that;

In regards to MC being insecure… Qiu doesn’t get it at all;

How can someone that amazing be insecure about themselves? How can they worry about not being loveable enough, not interesting enough? Not beautiful enough?;

And they’re fucking pissed at anyone who would ever make MC feel that way;

MC is a person that Qiu cares about deeply, even if they’re colder at that age, there’s no way they just let them think so little of themselves if they can help it;

So… MC is one of the few people that Qiu will make a big effort with;

Tamarack

“Are you alright?” MC glances at Tamarack, worried. While their first instinct might’ve been to lightly tease her, it was overrun by concern when they saw just how miserable she seemed to be.

She considered the question for a moment before nodding her head “no”, her braided hair swishing from side to side at the motion, as MC tracks its movement with their eyes.

She knew better than to lie to them. It was obvious, for one, and they had known each other for long enough for Tamarack to accept that, sometimes, it was just better to give up and accept that MC is going to take care of her even if Tamarack insists that she’s fine.

Lying just meant that they’d be more worried.

MC quickly hand her a water bottle— the sole reason why they’d left the pool in the first place, and she readily accepts it, muttering a quiet “thank you” before opening the lid to take a sip. MC sits at the edge of the lounge chair she’s in, taking in the shade after a long day in the sun. Tamarack seems to brighten up a bit before having some water, but MC knows there’s no way it would help much with her current predicament— that being the fact that almost all surface of skin that wasn’t protected by her one-piece swimsuit was currently bright pink, and undoubtedly, hot to the touch.

Well, MC knew that Tamarack didn’t tan in the sun, she burned.

When they first met, and she wasn’t nearly and shy and quiet and afraid to bother as she is now, it wasn’t uncommon to see her with red shoulders, burned by the sun, when she inevitably forgot to put sunscreen on to play outside.

As she grew up, she was much more diligent about it. Both to save herself the trouble of dealing with the aftermath and to preserve her health.

In fact, MC was absolutely sure Tamarack had applied it a few hours ago, before they got in the pool.

MC was sure because they were the one who applied sunscreen to her back, and it took a lot of willpower on their part to absolutely not think about it and not make it a big deal because they were friends and it didn’t really mean anything, and they were deluding themselves into thinking that the pretty blush on her neck was related to them at all.

But then again… MC helped her apply it once, but didn’t see it being reapplied, since they were so busy playing in the pool— Oh.

“Wanna go inside?” MC suggests, so Tamarack doesn’t have to ask them and spend too long overthinking about having been bothersome, even though MC always makes sure to reassure her that it’s fine, and they’d much rather do something they’re both having fun with rather than something that only they’re enjoying. “You can shower first, and I can look for some Aloe gel we can use. I’m sure Mom has it in there somewhere.”

Mom always very practical, and had a way of always staying on top of situations like these, there was no doubt in MC’s mind that she saw this coming and prepared for the likely chance that it happened. 

Tamarack didn’t look convinced, looking over at MC with uncertainty. 

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to swim for longer?”

She asks, and MC doesn’t think twice before nodding no. 

“Nah, all that swimming made me a little tired.” They admit, with a smile. It was technically true, anyways. “I’m alright just chilling inside. Maybe we can play a board game or watch TV and eat ice cream!”

MC got up from the lounged chair there were perched at— their excitement over their new plans finally managing to convince Tamarack to give in. 

“I’m okay with anything as long as we can spend more time together.” Tamarack says, and MC’s heart flutters at her words “...And we’re away from the sun.”

MC offered one of their hands to her, which she gratefully accepted. It’s a gesture that they’ve repeated many times throughout the years, her soft hand grabbing theirs to lead them away to the woods, on their way home, through the corridors of their school or just holding for the sake of holding, because they were close and didn’t really need a reason to hold each other’s hand.

It didn’t need to mean much.

In fact, it shouldn’t mean anything at all, It was just like helping her with her sunscreen or spreading aloe on her back.

It’s a gesture that survived from their childhood years— a sign of their closeness and strong bond and friendship. Nothing more.

There was nothing romantic about it. 

Then why did such a simple, meaningless gesture mean so much to them?

Why did the heat of her palm make them dizzy? Why did their face flush? Why did they feel a sudden breathlessness they couldn’t explain away by the summer heat?

In truth, MC knew exactly why.

They had known it since the day Tamarack jumped out of a pile of leaves, giggling over having gotten the upperhand over the new kid, her hair glowing golden under the sunlight in a way that made her look so at home within the woods, MC could’ve sworn she was a fairy playing tricks on them.

Maybe they couldn’t name what they were feeling then, being too young to properly understand why the pretty girl that gave them affection so easily felt different from everyone else, but they were keenly aware of their feelings now, when they seemed to get more overwhelming by the day.

One day, they would gather enough courage to say something.

But that day wouldn’t be today, as they gently guide her inside, looking back to admire how her face seemed to redden even more at their touch and how soft her features looked when their eyes met.

extra

It’s an hour later when they’re sitting on the couch, Tamarack’s short legs streched over MC’s lap as they eat ice-cream, the newest Ariana Grande music video playing on the TV in one of the rare occasions MC managed to catch MTV playing music.

MC should be paying attention, they really should. Tamarack seems really engrossed in a story about the new piece she’s been practising on her cello, and how rude one of the violin girls was about her getting a note wrong when her violin was entirely out of tune the entire time, but the only thing MC can really focus on is how Tamarack smells like Aloe Vera gel and how when she’s snarking about annoying violin players, she rolls her eyes with a disdain Qiu could only dream about channelling, and it’s so cute it makes them fall in love with her all over again.

Qiu

“Ugh, I’m so hot.”

Mc whines, trying to walk a little faster to keep up with Qiu’s pace.

It was a terribly hot and humid day in the middle of the summer— one of those days where MC, usually, wouldn’t really bother trying to do anything more than melting on their couch.

Unfortunately for them, they had promised a week beforehand to join Qiu on the next outdoor movie session, which just happened to fall on the hottest day of summer.

Fun.

Well, realistically, they could’ve cancelled.

Qiu wouldn’t have minded it too much. They knew about MC’s aversion to heat, after all, and would’ve probably offered a good alternative or simply called another friend, who would be less annoying about being hot and sweaty.

But… It was Qiu they were talking about.

Qiu asked for their company, and even if they tried to sound really nonchalant about it, MC could tell that Qiu was excited and that this movie night meant a lot to them.

So MC would suck it up and do it for them. Even if they were hot, annoyed and could feel the sweat making their shirt cling to their body in a way they could only describe as uncomfortable.

“Love the confidence.”

Qiu says, without missing a beat, and MC doesn’t know it they should laugh or turn away and go home right now.

They end up deciding on rolling their eyes and hitting their arm playfully. Qiu laughs at their frustration, and it would be annoying if it the sound of their laugh wasn’t so endearing.

“Shut up.”

Mc says, but there’s no heat in it. They could never say it and mean it, and Qiu knows that.

Maybe that’s why they’re so smug all the time.

When they’re like this— walking together and teasing each other, Mc can almost pretend like they’re on a date.

That Qiu didn’t really mean to invite them to watch a movie as friends, but as something more. That the way they looked at MC wasn’t just out of fondness for a close friend, but as someone they loved in the way MC wanted to be loved.

But it’s not like they’d allow themselves to indulge too much in this fantasy. No. Qiu wouldn’t look at MC in the way they wanted Qiu, and it was too selfish to expect that of them.

Not when Qiu already didn’t rely on too many people. Their friendgroup was small and tight-knit and being included was a huge sign of their trust on MC.

Trust as a friend.

Best friend, maybe.

And MC was more than willing to pretend like it didn’t hurt them if it meant more days like this, where Qiu seemed so content and relaxed just by walking with MC in silence.

“We’re almost there.”

Qiu comments, breaking MC out of their reverie.

If they noticed MC staring at them, they’re merciful enough to not comment on it this time, which they’re immesefully grateful for. They don’t know if they have the mental capacity of dealing with more of Qiu’s teasing today without becoming a blushing mess.

MC can just see the entrance of the park when they feel the first raindrops. They freeze, and grab Qiu by the sleeve before they can take another step.

“Autumn… I think it’s going to rain.”

Their warning doesn’t come quick enough. Qiu looks at the MC as they feel the rain growing in intensity, and can just manage to start running before it starts pouring.

Of course. Summer showers always seemed to happen when it’s most inconvenient.

They’re soaking wet by the time they reach the park and manage to hide away in the closest structure with a roof— that being a bandstand, because of course the universe would present MC with a perfect romance-movie scenario when they’re already stupidly in love with their best friend who definitely doesn’t reciprocate their feelings.

“You think they’ll still show the movie?”

MC asks, a little hopeful and all too willing to break the silence and any treacherous trains of thought about how Qiu still managed to look pretty like this.

And how close they were, and how it would be just so easy to reach out and kiss them.

“I don’t think so.” Qiu answers, obviously annoyed by it. “The equipment must be wet— and the grass will be too. They might postpone it to another day.”

Mc agrees with their assessment, and they stand in silence for another moment, just watching the rain fall.

“I’m sorry we’ll miss your movie. I know you were excited to watch it.”

MC says, after a moment, and Qiu just shrugs, like it’s no big deal and disappointment isn’t etched on their face.

“It’s fine.” When Qiu and Mc’s eyes meet the disappointment seems to melt away in Qiu’s face, and they smile. It’s small, almost imperceptive, but MC knows it’s there and that they had another idea. “I think we’ll be here for a while… And we still have the food we brought.”

They hold up the picnic basket they were holding, and MC immediately understands what they’re hinting at.

“Ever the problem solver, huh?”

MC teases, and Qiu considers it a yes to their unasked question. Between both of them, they quickly set up their impromptu picnic, determined to still have a good time together, even if it wasn’t quite like they’d imagined it.

Extra

“You know, I’ve seen romance movies that start like this.” Qiu comments, smiling teasingly in a way that makes MC think that they know too much. They flush, looking away, not quite knowing how to respond to Qiu’s implication, and they’re too happy at their inaction. “You’re too cute.”

Tamarack

Well, Tamarack was never one to care about things she couldn’t see.

There were far more important to worry about, like waking up early enough to be able to explore the forest and finding the prettiest rocks and leaves to gift to her omi and opa. It just didn’t make sense to worry about not being able to see colour, because all she knew was life without it, and the world was plenty beautiful already!

She still had her favourite shades of grey— the one that her omi told corresponded to the colour pink, the lively yellow and deep red. All of them were special in their own way, even if people who were able to see colour would say they all looked too alike, and she’d fervently insist that they were quite different.

People who saw colour just lacked imagination. That’s what her grandmother had told her once, with a kind smile stretched on her lips. They had grown so used to seeing the world that way that they lost the ability to see the nuances in different hues of grey. Sometimes, you have to lose something to gain another.

Well, if that’s how things were, Tamarack didn’t know if she’d ever want to see colour. 

It seemed awful to lose the ability to see beauty in how she has always seen the world. To stop appreciating how pretty the autumn leaves were when they changed shades, to stop being able to tell the difference between the cool grey of a bright summer’s day to the cool greys of a stormy afternoon.

But things were always bound to change.

Tamarack had woken up that day, feeling like that day would be special in some way.

Maybe because all days so far had been special— Moving so far away had its drawbacks, but getting to spend so much time playing in the forest had proven to be as fun as she’d hoped for.

It was still relatively early in the day when she saw a piece of cottony cream paper lying on the floor. She picked it up, hoping to help mother earth by cleaning the litter away when she saw a kid standing in the distance.

Locating her target, Tamarack quickly folded the piece of paper into a paper aeroplane and threw it at the target, her perfect aim hitting her victim.

She was able to escape in time, trying not to giggle too loudly so as to not attract too much attention to herself yet. Something told her she would see that kid again, and when she did, she hoped she could at least be able to surprise them!

It ended up not taking as long as she had expected for them to find her— and before they could, Tamarack hid underneath a pile of grey leaves, jumping out as soon as she heard the sound of her footsteps approaching her.

She closes her eyes for a moment, smiling and giggling due to a plan well-crafted, opening her eyes to a whole different world.

The leaves that fluttered around her were different from before, reds and oranges almost causing sensory overload now that they weren’t hidden behind greyscale.

She missed the way the world had looked before, but by staring at the forest with wonder, she realised that this change, maybe, wouldn’t be too bad at all.

Just like moving away had given her the opportunity to have fun in the forest every day, seeing colour allowed her to experience the world in an entirely different way. 

And, looking at the kid who looked at her in amazement, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling, she’d have someone new she could experience all of that with.

Qiu

Qiu really wanted to find his soulmate.

He liked getting to know other people. Meeting new kids, making friends and learning all he could about them. 

But there was always something special about the idea of getting to know your soulmate. The idea that you’re cosmically bound to one another, that there is someone out there meant to fit just perfectly with him. That his boring, monotonous world would fill with life and colour, and he’d gain a companion for life, someone he’d love and cherish just as much as his parents did with each other.

There is no telling when you get to meet your soulmate— some people were lucky enough to know them when they’re little, and people who don’t get to meet theirs until they’re old and wrinkly, So Qiu makes sure to get to know as many people as possible to cover all his bases.

It didn’t really work so far, but Qiu wasn’t really disappointed. 

His exploits led to him making lots of new friends. Kids now looked up to him, they liked him, and Qiu liked making them happy! And his mother made sure to reassure him that he would meet his soulmate when the time was right, and it would be just as wonderful as he’d imagined it.

For the time being, he was stuck in a greyscale world, left only to wonder how different things would be when he could see colour.

Sometimes his pursuits seemed a little hopeless, whoever. It didn’t really matter how patient he tried to be, Golden grove was a small and quiet town, and not a lot of new people ever showed up there.

Maybe that’s why the new neighbours intrigued him so much.

A kid his age. Someone he had never met in a town where everyone knew everyone.

Something stirred in his chest when Qiu heard their name. Something about it just seemed right, fitting.

He tried not to get too hopeful, but it was hard not to when all his instincts seemed to scream that yes, that was the person he was looking for.

Well… Even with all his excitement, Qiu still managed to forget about MC’s impending arrival.

It was something he pushed to the back of his mind after filling his day with his usual activities— talking to people in town and playing in his secret hideout.

It was when he heard a strange sound.

Someone was trying to climb his playhouse.

He stood up and looked down at the intruder, greys melting into colours he had never seen before as soon as they locked eyes.

For a moment, neither said anything. Too overwhelmed to manage to utter a word.

As much as Qiu had thought about that moment, it’s like, for the first time in his life, he was left speechless.

“You’re so pretty.”

Qiu was, generally, an attentive person.

Not to his own things, of course. As MC and Tamarack made sure to point out frequently, but to other people.

Maybe that’s why he noticed that MC acted strangely at school.

It’s not like they’ve known each other for long. It had been only a couple of weeks since MC moved in, after all. But after days of playing after school and walking to class together, he likes to think he has gotten to know his new friends pretty well.

For one, MC was very honest. He didn’t have any issues at all standing up to Qiu and voicing his opinions— Which was a nice change of pace from the other kids, who didn’t seem to have an issue going along with Qiu’s plans for the day.

No. If MC didn’t like something he’d let you know. He would argue and refuse to let Qiu get away with things so easily.

That’s why being with MC was so fun. He was a challenge!

Someone completely new in a place where everything was static.

But he never seemed to be like that at school.

He was quiet, withdrawn and uncomfortable. Qiu didn’t know how it felt being the new kid but could empathise with MC’s struggle anyways. So many new things at once were bound to be overwhelming.

Still, Qiu wished he could do more for his new friend.

The bell rang, signifying the end of class and the beginning of recess. As usual, the class was buzzing with excitement as kids started getting up to grab their things to head out— Mrs Murray only smiled, calling out a couple of warnings regarding the next class before officially dismissing them.

One of Qiu’s seatmates asked him what were his plans for lunch— he was about to accept their offer to play when he noticed MC.

Of course he noticed MC. How couldn’t he?

Making sure to promise to join them next time, Qiu hurried to his new friend’s side.

“MC, are you alright?” 

Qiu’s eyebrows scrunched together in worry, as he noticed his friend’s unusual behaviour.

Mc didn’t respond. In fact, he barely acknowledged Qiu’s presence at all.

It was disconcerting. MC looked up and his eyes were glassy, panicked, he looked around them to the other people in the hallway, but he barely seemed to be able to focus on someone before his eyes darted away.

His breathing quickened, his hands shook and he looked so lost, so helpless that it terrified Qiu.

“I can’t,” MC says, his voice so quiet and breathless that Qiu needs to strain to hear what he said. “I can’t breathe.”

Qiu’s eyes widened. 

He grabbed Mc by the sleeve, gently tugging him to guide him through the school.

Qiu had studied here for years— forever, it seemed. He knew every single classroom and supply room like the back of his hand, and also knew the staff well enough to have memorised, long ago, which teachers made it a habit to stay in their classrooms during lunch.

That’s why they found it empty when they arrived at the art room on the second floor.

He opened the door, and like the gentleman he was, took out a chair for MC to sit in, presenting it with a flourish and a small smile. Mc took his time calming down, and Qiu stood quietly by him, waiting until he felt okay enough to talk. All the sounds of the outside world were muffled by the walls— in comparison to the crowded hallways, the art room almost seemed like an entirely different universe. 

“It’s quiet here.” 

Mc finally says. Qiu hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on when they got in, and in the quiet darkness of the room, it got easier to breathe again. 

“Mrs Smith will be back soon, but she’s nice. She leaves the door unlocked if anyone is having a hard time.” Qiu explains. He had to make use of the room once or twice in the past. “She will probably be back soon— but you don’t have to talk to her if you don’t feel like it.”

I can do all the talking for you is implied. Mc almost smiles at that— Qiu was talkative and entirely too nice, using his precious recess time to help MC calm down from one of his panic attacks.

He didn’t even seem to be bothered by it. All MC could see in his eyes was worry that his friend wasn’t feeling well and a willingness to help.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

MC hesitates only for a moment. It’s not like he felt overly embarrassed by his feelings, but it felt strange to admit them so openly to someone else.

“It’s the history project.”

He feels it again— the unbearable feeling of dread mixed with annoyance that bothers him every time one of these assignments comes up. Qiu seems confused.

“The group assignment?”

MC nods at Qiu’s question. 

“I don’t do well in groups,” Mc admits. Group projects are already bad enough normally, but this time it felt worse since his groupmates were randomly selected, and he was unlucky enough to not be in the same group as Qiu or Tamarack  “I don’t know the other kids and it made me nervous— and then we were let out for recess and there were so many people in the hall it felt like the walls were closing in on me and I couldn’t breathe.”

Qiu listened to his friend attentively, pulling out his notepad to play with the worn edges of the notebook. By the end of MC’s rant, he seemed pensive.

“We still have a lot of time until recess is over. If you want to, we can grab some snacks and make a plan somewhere quiet!” Qiu offers “If you’re nervous because you don’t know them, I can tell you all I know so It isn’t scary anymore. Or I can be there when you meet them for the project so you know someone.”

MC quirked an eyebrow. He already didn’t like working on his own school projects, he couldn’t even imagine willingly tagging along to someone else’s just to keep them company.

“Don’t you have your own project to take care of?” He asks, bluntly. “Why would you do two projects?”

“I won’t do the project for you.” Qiu clarifies “I’ll just be there for… emotional support!”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.” Qiu insists “I won’t leave you all alone and scared if I can help it! You’re my friend, and I don’t leave friends behind!”

MC sighs and gets up from his chair, it was hard getting an idea out of Qiu’s mind after he set his mind to something, but he had to try. 

Tamarack

If the idea of a soulmate, as a child, made Tamarack indifferent, it now filled her with fear.

It wasn’t supposed to be like that, she was sure. Not like she’d ever admit to these feelings to anyone— Finding your soulmate was a goal to strive towards, a consolation on difficult days.

It’s what all romance books centered around. It’s the topic of all of the songs people listen to on the radio, the advice columns on magazines the girls much cooler than her read. 

It’s a daunting notion, perhaps, but a natural one. Her soulmate will appear when she least expects, her world will fill with colours she had never particularly wished to see, and she will be granted a companion for as long as both shall live. The other half of her soul, a missing limb she had never noticed was gone.

But how could she ever muster up excitement for it when her future was so uncertain?

Maybe her soulmate was back at her old home, at the school she’d have attended if her parents had kept her instead of leaving her with her grandparents. Or maybe, if they followed through on their promises to take her back, she’d just miss her soulmate moving into the perpetually empty, likely haunted, house in the middle of the cul-de-sac.

A soulmate could be the anchor she’d always wished for, a tether somewhere, but it could just as easily twist into another loss, another painful what-if to occupy her thoughts.

And losing the one thing you wished for isn’t terrifying?

So she continues living her life. Hoping that she’s just another person to meet their soulmate just a little later in life— her parents had met in college, after all. Things would just work out if the universe could hold out for just a while longer, until her family’s mess could finally settle itself or she was old enough to make her own choices, put down roots somewhere she was certain they wouldn’t be cruelly ripped out the soil. 

She had heard many tragic tales of the sort, after all. Soulmates that meet briefly only to be torn apart. People who are meant to each other, but who are destined to just weave in and out of each other’s lives, only having brief, blissful moments together.

She hates to admit it, but the idea of suffering such a fate keeps her awake, sometimes.

Tamarack was tired of holding her breath and waiting for other people to make decisions for her. Soulmates were a cosmic matter, beyond the reach of any plea or plan. And if people could be fickle and unreliable, she doubted the universe would be any more inclined to listen to her wishes.

Every year that passed, with her world continuing to be coloured in the greyscale she was so fond of, made her just a little more hopeful, dimming the fear and anxiety she had long grown used to.

But things have a way of changing when you least expect it.

This Halloween was different. It was her first as a teenager, and she had obsessed over her costume for weeks. How could she not? Everything felt more important this year, like the tiniest details suddenly carried the weight of her entire identity. Adding to the excitement, her Omi had mentioned something Tamarack couldn’t stop thinking about: after years of vacancy, someone had finally moved into the empty house next door.

Before she could head out for her own festivities, her omi invites her to deliver her homemade sweets to the new neighbours.

Tamarack stood on the porch of her grandparents’ house, the evening’s chill nipping at her nose. She adjusted her cape— a flimsy, dollar-store last minute addition to an otherwise well-planned witch costume. Her Omi had insisted on the traditional sweets, meticulously wrapped and sealed in clear plastic with small bows. Tamarack clutched the basket, feeling every bit the reluctant Little Red Riding Hood.

“Go on, sweetheart…” her Omi urged from the doorway, every bit as boisterous as she always was “First impressions are important!”

First impressions, Tamarack thought bitterly, only mattered if you planned on sticking around. Still, she trudged across the lawn to the new neighbor’s house, pausing at the edge of the worn wood porch, and the sparse decorations out on the lawn. It brought a smile to her face— the residents had likely not fully moved in yet, but they at the very least bothered to decorate for the occasion.

Her heart thudded as she raised a hand to knock, suddenly a little nervous. She looks back at her grandmother, who seems impatient enough to do it for her when suddenly…

The door swung open, and Tamarack’s breath caught in her throat.

A kid stood there, about her age, also wearing a costume, trying to add in the last accessories while answering the door. Behind them, she can see boxes piled into the living room.

“Uh, hi…” they said, eyes darting to the basket in her hands. “Trick-or-treat?”

Tamarack blinked, suddenly hyper-aware of the weight of the basket.

“Oh, um, no. I mean, yes. Sort of? My grandmother…”  She looks back towards her grandmother for a moment “Wanted me to bring these over.” 

Before she can offers the sweets, the kid’s mother, appears behind them— her Omi’s attention quickly shifting to the other adult as they commence introductions. Tamarack shyly, albeing awkwardly thrusts the basket forward, as a peace offering. 

Her new neighbour looks up for the first time, her red eyes meeting theirs.

It was like a silent firework had gone off in her mind, flooding every corner with color. The drab greyscale of the world she had grown so accustomed to was suddenly replaced by shades she didn’t have words for. The red of their costume was vibrant and rich, and the soft yellow light from the porch lamp bathed their features in a warmth that seemed dream-like.

Her knees felt weak, and her hands trembled as she tried to process the transformation. She glanced down at her own costume, marveling at the green hue of her skirt, the deep black of her cape that somehow seemed darker than before.

They were staring at her, wide-eyed. Their grip on the basket slackened, and a few candies tumbled out.

 “You’re seeing it too, right?” they whispered.

Tamarack nodded slowly. She leans down to grab the fallen candies just as her soulmate does. When their hands touch, they both pull back like it’s fire.  

The moment is awkward for just a second— before she laughs, and accompanies her.

Her heart pounded in her chest as a thousand thoughts jumbled together—fear, confusion, disbelief. She had spent years imagining this, dreading it, preparing for a moment that always seemed far away, out of reach.

Now, it was here.

Her world had changed in the blink of an eye, and she hadn’t even had time to catch her breath.

“I wasn’t ready for this.” 

She admitted softly, barely more than a whisper. The fallen candies back in her basket, and her heart feeling just a tad lighter.

“Same…” Her soulmate replied, in disbelief. “Well… It isn’t as bad like I feared it would be.”

Surprisingly, she shares the sentiment. 

Behind them, her Omi and MC’s mother were deep in conversation, already swapping stories and laughter as though they had known each other forever.

Tamarack barely noticed. Everything around her felt distant— muted compared to the colors she couldn’t stop staring at.

She forced herself to take a breath, steadying her nerves. This wasn’t what she had planned. It wasn’t what she wanted. But maybe… maybe it didn’t have to be as terrifying as she thought. Maybe this wasn’t the end of her carefully constructed world, but the start of something else.

Qiu

There was once a time in which Qiu longed to find their soulmate.

Back when things were brighter, easier. When the idea of finding the person that stood on the other side of their invisible string felt like an inevitability, a cheat code to meeting a new friend— their perfect equal, the way to make their life just a little more perfect. Golden grove was a little boring, but it was a little town brimming with potential, filled with wonderful things, little secrets, they knew of, and they were eager to share with their perfect match.

That hope belonged to a different version of Qiu, though.

A younger, more naive one. The boy with sparkling eyes and an eager need to please who he once believed themselves to be.

Now, it felt like a memory from someone else’s life, not their own. 

Regardless, it was a hope Qiu had held onto for an embarrassingly long amount of time. Even when things became less certain, and making new friends became a chore rather than an exciting prospect, they still hoped anyway.

Fantasised about their eyes meeting when they took their bows at the end of a ballet recital, the world blooming into colour as they found them in a crowd, eyes soft and adoring, their appearance shifting with every second they conjured their little daydream— not knowing what they would look like, but wishing that, just at having a glimpse of them in a dream, Qiu would just know.

Or perhaps in the bustling halls of school, a casual brush of shoulders with a new transfer student would change everything.

It occupied their thoughts during boring classes or frustrating days when no one understood them, no matter how much they tried to speak: the ever-shifting face of their soulmate, the kind eyes, the idea that someone would be able to tell them who they were, someone who’d instinctively know.

Not having found their soulmate, despite their increasingly desperate attempts to do so throughout their childhood, had been just another in a long list of disappointments in Qiu’s life. 

It was just another testament to a fact that terrified them: they didn’t know who they were, nor who they were supposed to be. People around them had an idea— expectations, their own stifling view of who Qiu Lin was, and the more they insisted on it, the less Qiu wished to fulfil their expectations.

Like with most other things, in recent times, they had just stopped trying.

Why should they even bother with a soulmate, anyway? They had lost so much time together already. The colours their parents had described sounded headache inducing, the idea of a soulmate stifling in a way it hadn’t before. They stopped greeting colleagues in the hallways and avoided any chance to meet new people. Their friendship circle was small, and ever dwindling— And it was better this way. 

A soulmate would just be another person to disappoint, after all. Like the list wasn’t long enough already. It was better for them, and for the poor soul tethered to them, if they didn’t meet at all.

For that reason, the first day of high school was terrifying.

Golden Grove’s only school rarely got transfers. The golden-haired whirlwind that was Tamarack, their neighbour, had been an exception. But what made Qiu particularly anxious was the sinking feeling that this was it. That something was in the air. Some deep, impending change they were too small to ever possibly stop.

They couldn’t stop it, but they could delay it, whoever.

If locking themselves in their room wasn’t an option, which Qiu was sure it wasn’t, then the solution was simple. Instead of heading straight to school, Qiu veered off course, slipping into the woods that gave Golden Grove its name. The golden leaves heralding autumn crunched beneath their sneakers as they made their way to the old bridge over the creek. It was a cherished spot, a secret place they’d often escaped to as a kid.

The boy’s club, with Tamarack as an honorary member, had once made it their domain.

They throw their gym bag on the floor, huffing as it falls with a thump on the top steps, leading to the small bridge. Qiu slumps right beside it, fishing their phone out of their pockets to shoot a quick message to Ren, reassuring him that they’d show up eventually, and putting some music on.

The crisp morning air helped clear their thoughts, even if the anxiety still simmered beneath the surface.

Skipping a few hours of school seemed worth the inevitable lecture they’d get at home. For now, they could breathe, even if just for a little.

“Excuse me…”

An unknown voice sounds from right behind them, above the sound of their music. They’re momentarily taken aback. No one ever came here. It was a local secret. Who else would be in a bridge in the woods in the early morning hours?

A gasp escaped their lips as the vibrant hues overwhelmed them. Blues, oranges, and reds assaulted their senses, a kaleidoscope of shades they had no names for.

It was too much.

Qiu squeezed their eyes shut, reeling from the sudden intensity.

The stranger staggered too, pages from a notepad— Qiu’s notepad,  slipping from their grasp and scattering across the bridge steps. Their wide eyes darted around as if trying to process the same blinding shift.

Qiu’s heart raced, cautiously grabbing one of the fallen pages. A note they had made a few weeks ago on ideas for Ren’s birthday gift. 

Had they led their soulmate straight to them without realizing it? The colours were no less dazzling now that they started getting used to them, but the feeling was slightly more bearable. The stranger’s hair gleamed like sunlight, their features sharp yet soft, framed by a hesitant, confused, smile.

“Are you okay?” the stranger asked, voice shaky but kind. They crouched to gather the rest of the  fallen pages, glancing up at Qiu with equal parts concern and awe.

Qiu’s mouth went dry. Words tumbled through their mind but refused to align into a coherent sentence.

They’d dreamed of this moment for years, yet nothing had prepared them for the overwhelming reality of actually meeting them.

“I…” They swallowed hard, trying again. “I didn’t think…”

The stranger smiled softly, offering a hand. 

“Me neither.”

Qiu hesitated before taking it.

Their hands touched, and the colors seemed to pulse, brighter and warmer, as if the universe was reaffirming the connection. For the first time in years, Qiu felt a glimmer of hope.

✧ At 10 years old, QIU's fascinated. How he discovers your interest and skill in arts varies but his reaction doesn't. He's impressed! Whether digital or traditional, Qiu would love to participate especially if you asked him yourself.

For this reason, he carries an extra pen and even those colored ones just in case you get bored or if you're suddenly struck by creativity when you two are playing :3

✧ The first time you show him one of your doodles you made during class, he's compelled to do the same whether or not you actually give him it. And ever since, you two've been exchanging these sketches during class. It's the cutest scene to walk into.

✧ URGH AND THE THINGS HE DOES WHEN YOU TELL HIM ABOUT ART BLOCK DEPENDING ON HOW AND WHAT YOU DRAW

You're into drawing sceneries? Trust that he starts telling you and Tamarack about more "special things" in the forest and/or the town.

Like the sky? There's this clearing a lot further into the forest at your backyards. Stargaze, watch the clouds and the sunset together?

✧ It's also necessary for me to mention that unlike his notes, lazily pressed against eachother and constantly on the run, anything you give him goes to a safe space probably in between a books pages, under the the matress of his bed or inside a drawer/container.

"They broke into my backyard accidentally, 'cause they were on a crazy investigation about a paper airplane. Plus, they got here a day ago and they're already looking out for me. Normally, I'm the one doing that."

"Besides, they're pretty. And they make me pretty. Look! Look how they drew me!"

✧ As for 10-year-old TAMARACK, she's curious. The things you draw, are they based on actual places? Actual people? Oh, you draw based on your imagination? Elaborate.

✧ At some point in the prologue, she says "All the forests in the world are different, and some places don't even have forests. I can show you good spots to find things since you're newer to this forest than me."

And I can't not think of her running up to you to give you all of what she gathered for you to draw like omfg

With all those leaves and tiny branches sticking out of her hair and sweater, she smiles brightly with her hands filled with her treasures. AUGH SHE MAKES ME SO SICK I LOVE HER

✧ Like Qiu, she has her own safe spot designated for only your drawings if you've given her any.

She shows off all of them. Especially if you've drawn her?? It'll be the only thing she talks about during literally any time for the rest of the month and the few months after.

"Out of all the friends I have here, you're the best one. We came to the same exact neighborhood, almost at the same time, and are he same age. You have fun outside and I do too."

"I think you're pretty. How you draw me is pretty! I've never met a kid who was just like me. That's important. That's serious."

✧ Now, 14-year-old QIU's pretty much no different. They're even more impressed when they see just how much you've improved. Nonetheless, they treasure your old drawings just as much as they do they new.

They take the liberty of providing you with both a pen and paper to draw on when you're together, in case you don't bring your sketchbook (if you own one).

On those days where you two just sit in silence in their hideout, their gaze drifts to your side quietly a few times to watch your progress. After a while, they settle with sitting right next to you and watching the stroke of your pen against the paper as the scene forms with each hatch.

✧ As a teen, they've actually been a tad bit farther off the town when they feel like taking a ride on their bike. They've seen many sights and burn the route into their brain for them to tell you about. They'd even be happy as to bring you there themselves.

✧ If you ask them to be your muse, good god you'd need to tell them what to do.

It's almost a funny sight. Qiu, the kid who knew what to do their whole life asks you, "Should I pose? Where do I look? Ah- what's my good side?"

𐙚 They can feel their breath hitch under your scrutiny. Suddenly, they're concious of every single thing about them. Where do their eyes go? Should they move their hands? Is their hair in the way?

They avert their gaze flusteredly, their head ever so slightly moving to the side when they do so.

And good god do their hands clutch the fabric of their pants when you tell them to look at you properly.

✧ Same goes for TAMARACK at 14. She's as intrugued as ever to hear about your work. She admires (you)r style from then till now and has learned to appreciate the time gone into things as simple as this, whether or not you've made it with her in mind. BUT GOD IF YOU TELL HER IT IS, it's always sitting on her desk and she thinks constantly about what you've done for her.

✧ And while she doesn't exactly bring you a pen, she's more than glad to hand you hers when you need it.

✧ Unlike before, she'd now be at your side when you two hung out at her backyard. She'd be sitting across from you, practicing the cello. The hum of her instrument accompanied by the sound of nature and the scratch of your pen against paper gives her a sense of calmness.

This may also be when she realizes she's been your muse! Her fingers trace over where your pen has been and boy appreciate isn't even enough for her to describe how she felt. It was definitely happy, but that wasn't the word either.

𐙚 Her heart pounds alarmingly as she admires your work. It's almost concerning to you that she sits silently with a blank expression as she held your sketchbook in her hands.

Qiu "Autumn" Lin

This jerk is so smug about it.

Whether they're 10 or 14, they love that you're clingy with them!

They're absolutely beaming as you hold onto their arm

And if you're being affectionate in public they'll look at the poor people surrounding the two of you, shit eating grin on their face as if they're saying "See this? They chose me and not you. Lol. Losers"

If there's a rumor going around that the two of you are dating, Qiu wouldn't deny it if someone asks them whether its true or not

"So are you two actually dating or..?" "Maybe, maybe not" "…So are you?" "Are we :]?"

Gosh they're insufferable

Makes those rumors worse by either flirting with you or subtly reciprocating your affection where people can witness the moment (the latter rarely happens)

If people start hating on you because of how affectionate you are towards Autumn, they'll start flirting with you even more just to spite them

And because they find your reactions adorable <3

Oh, and Qiu totally puffs out their chest proudly like a lion whenever someone mentions that you're more affectionate towards them than anybody else

Though they're overly smug and teasing about it, they absolutely melt inside. Especially if you're being affectionate in private

They love your little private moments so much. It makes them feel special that though you could've been with anyone else, you're there being affectionate with them instead

Qiu doesn't put in effort to be physically affectionate with anyone these days, but they're willing to do so if its for you

They got so used to your affection that anytime you're near each other and you don't start getting touchy with them after 2 seconds, they kinda get annoyed

Would always be searching for your warmth, it doesn't have to be much, just your pinkies intertwined or your shoulders brushing against each other is enough

You're their special someone

They'll never admit that out loud though! (Yet)

Tamarack Baumann

Flustered! Very very flustered

But is equally happy that you're being affectionate with them

Tamarack was a very affectionate kid, she hugged you anytime she was given the opportunity!! So even if she's more reserved as a teen, throwing her arms around you feels as natural as breathing

Would get a teeny tiny heart attack if you're really affectionate with her in public

But if you're doing it alone together, in the forest or either one of your houses, she'd be drowning in your affection

I think she's equally clingy in private if you have a good relationship with her to be honest

Now. Tamarack definitely always knows what's going on in town, and in school

So it doesn't take long for her to find out that people think you two are dating

As much as she denies this rumor whenever someone mentions it to her, she's absolutely giddy about the thought of the two of you being together like that

She honestly doesn't want people to stop believing in that rumor, but what would you think??

Tamarack doesn't mind, but what if you don't like the thought of you two dating? What if you grow distant because of it?? What if you're grossed out??? What if-

Okay yeah you get my point but she stresses over it a lot

So unless you confirm that you're okay with it, she'll absolutely deny it

She doesn't want you to be uncomfortable, and she doesn't want to ruin what the two of you have just because of a rumor

You're her safe place, she doesn't want to lose you