Today is one of those hard days
Sometimes being sober sucks.
Good lord, especially in the beginning. All I could do was sit around and think about drinking and doing drugs. It’s gotten easier but I have days where the cravings are so unbearable.
I hate being a 27 year old alcoholic and drug addict. The addict in me wishes so badly that I could drink socially. But the sober part of me rationalizes this.
I’ve always struggled with addiction. I knew at 15, alcohol didn’t affect me the same way as it did my friends. It’s always going to affect my differently but sometimes it’s still hard for me to see that.
But I know this:
1. Alcohol makes into a person I hate and who others dislike.
2. I lie, steal, and manipulate when I’m drinking or doing drugs.
3. Financially, it ruined my life.
4. My mental health suffered when I was drinking.
5. My physical health suffered when I was drinking.
6. I lost friends and family members due to my drug use and alcoholism.
7. Nothing else mattered to me besides my next drink or drug.
8. I didn’t experience life to the fullest.
9. I lost countless jobs because I was too hungover from the night before to go into work.
10. I lost myself.
The list goes on and on. Those are just a few things that I have to remember when I think about drinking or using.
Tomorrow is a brand new day. Thank God.
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