if you are what you eat then i am an innocent man

How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic

robotgirl with a scraped off company logo

A jailbroken robot girl is a happier robot girl!

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

Hell yeah

it’s true strawberry squid are pretty awesome

every piece of media would be better with a butch in it

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

With a glory hole you're having a threesome with the house

With a glory hole you’re having a threesome with the house

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

its stop associating beauty with morality or ig you can die on the hill they put you on in grade school. haha ugly witch bad and pretty princess good!! <- this is how you sound

"unproblematic so he aged well" do you hear yourself. do you hear yourself

free the nipple has to make a resurgence for a number of reasons but bro look at our upcoming eternity of wet bulb temps youre smoking straight up cock if you think im keeping a shirt on when it hits 105° in new england