Let's See the World~!

It was not Atsuko’s first night sleeping in her new apartment, but it was the first night after finally fully unpacking her things. And she wished she were asleep, instead of just laying in her futon, one leg hanging out in an attempt to keep her stupid body from overheating. Sandy was laying with her on top of the futon. It was a nice night. She should be sleeping.

But instead, her mind was keeping her awake. She stared up at the ceiling unseeing, as her thoughts rolled around in her head, all too aware of the sinking feeling in her chest. That sense of isolation she usually felt around this time of night. Guess that would never change, wherever on Earth she happened to be.

She closed her eyes with a heavy sigh and threw an arm over her face. She didn’t need to be reminded of how alone she was, thank you very much, brain. She was already aware of it, since every time she saw something cool she would turn to show it to a sister who wasn’t there beside her. Every time she smelled something good she would remember her mother. Every time she opened her phone and saw the last correspondence with any of her state-side friends was months ago, from before she arrived in Japan.

An all too familiar tingling in her nose. A few shaky breaths to try to stop it from progressing. Not for the first time she questioned herself: Why did you come here, away from all that was familiar? It was so different here, and any good that happened was often overshadowed by the fact that a lot of her neighbors distrusted her because she was foreign. By all the conversations about her she overheard, accidentally or otherwise.

More shaky breaths, followed by a firm push against her eyelids because she absolutely did not want to cry right now. After a few minutes– or was it an hour? She didn’t have the best sense of time– the threat of tears faded. And exhaustion hit her almost immediately afterward.