im fucking freaking out i dont know what to do. this is a good opportunity for me, it's not even that different from what ive already done. it's just. a lot of responsibility. and i dont know if i can handle that. and i really dont want to spiral into self loathing and pity because i think im incapable of doing anything. i dont know. part of me thinks im more than capable, that i'll do a great job and get praise for it. the other part of me thinks ill crumble under the pressure and have to no contact quit like my first manager. is it worth risking a crash? is it worth the three extra dollars? i really dont know,

was just hit by a memory of when i was a teenager and my ex friend was going off on me about how much of an ‘evil monster’ i am and although this usually makes me really upset rn i am just. laughing because i remembered that one of his reasons was that i had a stalker oc playlist on spotify LMFAO

everything i hated, was all i couldn't be / do you ever get the feeling, everyone is staring at me?

i am! so angry and sad! for very little reason! love that for me!

love getting a nagging urge to completely delete my existence from everyone’s lives. what the fuck is going on with me today

nothing bites like living with yourself

i'm just getting so in my head about everything it's driving me crazy. why am i imagining complex scenarios of problems that dont even exist? why can't i just let myself have something for once?? im so fucking tired of myself dude

my head feels like it's going to fucking explode i need to stop thinking. where's the off button on this thing (my brain)

if i have to hear the term 'narcissistic abuse' again im going to lose my fucking mind i swear to god. shit makes me so mad i cant put it into words :))

me when people around me are supportive of people with npd: okay but would you be okay with me having npd

chronic boredom is sooo fun it definitely doesn't want to make me bash my skull in