babe, you look so cool

i was on another fucking plane of existence when i made this post

ME MMF FUCKING HOWLIJG JH

[vine of a screaming rubber chicken rolling down a roof. as it falls off the edge, it gets fainter.]

i’m sure people know this, but for those of you who don’t, alligators and crocodiles (this is a gator) have some of the most powerful jaws on earth—if they’re biting down. their muscles are made to clamp and hold while its body twists, taking down its prey and (typically) drowning it. however, they have next to no opening power, meaning this crab’s claw has rendered this gator almost powerless

crab: shhhh……shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……..i am speaking about of Me now

You are suddenly able to see numbers above people’s heads which are counting down and you have no idea why. One person you meet reaches 0 and…

The person starts yelling and slaps the person they are talking to. The countdown is how much more bull shit they can take, a slap-a-bitch meter. You now know to closely avoid those with low numbers, you don’t want to be in any such conflicts.

I have a cat that says ‘Mau’, and a cat that says ‘Moo’. At least that’s what they usually say, they have a pretty extensive vocabulary.

Brrmmloo is my favorite cat noise hello cats

i feel like this needs to be said: you literally can’t ask or expect anyone to drop everything for you and operate under your terms at all times. you can’t expect people to always be there for you and always choose you in any given ultimatum. sacrifice cannot be expected or asked for, it has to be freely given. and just because someone loves you, that doesn’t mean everything they do will be done with you in mind. if you have a problem with that, then you are the problem.

the amount of people in the tags saying this is ignorant and condescending towards mentally ill people is honestly astounding. as a mentally ill person, i recognize being mentally ill is not an excuse to be abusive; and yes, that’s exactly what this is. it’s abusive to expect other people to dedicate their lives to you.

#idk how these memes keep getting more real

me

OMG THAT THIRD TIME THO