"Chaos is what killed the Dinosaurs, Darling."

So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.

And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.

Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.

Me: This isn’t your kiwi?

Roommate: No?

Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.

Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.

Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!

As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.

But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store? 

So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.

Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.

Can we talk about Spy Kids 3 for a second because it’s just the MOST BAFFLING CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE EVER

First we open to LITTLE BABY SELENA GOMEZ

THE PRESIDENT IS GEORGE CLOONEY?

Later we see Juni’s grandpa who is KHAN??

who spends the whole movie chasing a butterfly

THE VILLAIN IS SYLVESTER STALLONE

WHO GETS VILLAIN ADVICE FROM THREE OTHER SYLVESTER STALLONES

ELIJAH WOOD SHOWS UP

ONLY TO DIE IN THE NEXT SCENE

Then we find out that the president was actually the villain the whole time which makes ZERO SENSE but leads to this glorious George Clooney Sylvester Stallone impression

Then we get Antonio Banderas doing this?

AND THEIR UNCLE WHO IS STILL MACHETE

AND THEN STEVE BUSCEMI SHOWS UP ON A FLYING PIG FOR NO REASON

(x)

I’m in a constant state of shock