Untitled Disposal

stone butch blues the book by leslie feinberg

like as an assault victim if im transmasc i cant be autistic or get triggered i guess . also chasers exist but i cant get chasers from the trans side too i guess . apparently being confused about my sexuality because of deep ingrained shame around liking women is like something stupid i guess

im genuinely like confused to what purpose do u think associating talking about transmisogyny in relation to me talking about tmascs (that includes butches and lrsbians on t) and tmen prevalence of sexual assault experience and sex work that also similarly lies into steteotypint tropes and wanting more visibility about the procedures that can be donr to masculinise myself despite wanting to look like a danmei protag is not triggering to someone with moral scrupulousness ocd and would derail the convo as the checks watch sa victim gets completely zoned out and detached and then suddenly mad that youre centering urself in my assault ?

stone butch blues but because ur gender journey is increasingly confusing and ure ashamed of attraction to women and enbys of all sorts so it takes a confusing journey

love how when youre unable to mask how much your trauma affects u old people who love to avoid things that make them uncomfortable think its normal by saying "i'll avoid you... FOR YOUR SAKE" like did u even ask what i want ,,, or the condescension of older people who are turning into their parents but theyre in denial . queer elders are generally a lie because you need praxis meanwhile theyre all theorists . guess communism has an expiry age as well. same people who disregard lived experience because they want something neatly packaged in a book when lives are messy . but disguising your lack of social awareness and ability and capacity for kindness by blaming other people is great. same people whining about mental health but they want any mentally ill person who makes them uncomfortable because their unwarranted advice and unneeded advice is fun or mature . love the disregard autonomy of body and mind . #Freud in the sense of ignoring uncomfortable harsh realities

white people when I say what they think is casual and not emotional for me aka "My grandmother remembers working in a white americans soldiers house as a child at age 11 to take care of the white children" "Colonialism has affected and penetrated our communities and fascism as a result of linguistic imperialism has made us ashamed and disconnected from our mother tongue in my country" "You do not understand racial dynamics of other countries and you are looking at it through a white washed lens" "People are not from the usa despite speaking english" "Our trans community is affected by your colonialism" "the world war 2 wasn't that long ago" "Our communities and countries are affected by your sex pests yet you think our properties are cheap and gentrify the place and make housing and food unbearably high" "Your continued colonial attitudes are cringe" what white people hear: guillotine the whites typical day of whiteness where you can say things like "The French beheaded the heads of Vietnamese who protested against the French occupation and then promptly hung their heads on public areas to discourage resistance" and get absolutely no reaction . white people when they have the third gen immigrants who are so disconnected from the current state of the ancestral country #AmericanDreamWorks I guess. Apparently people don't see fascism in their country having an outward effect on others be it on the radio waves, or migration. They escape, exoticise, fetishise our countries then the criminal tourists think that we are: maids, toilets, inanimate. They drive up housing prices via foreign investment companies buying up land and houses, or affect small businesses or local businesses being replaced by chains. They affect the ancestral practices of queerness by their rot spread by ancestors not even old enough to not be exorcised, thinking 1940s 1950s 1960s are old enough for eye witnesses to not still be alive. Meanwhile they get touted as first world when all they do is steal and pillage and replace. They have no culture except blood but apparently when i say their soldiers are murderers and not "poor veterans" they think we will forget the POOR people they killed . Love to be asean . the average asean self hating local incel gives me more grief than the average americanpilled american who thinks me codeswitching and me speaking perfect english and me despising white people is like #ForFunsies instead a natural result of being self centered. You refer to any state in america as just america yet you ask them to think about the real size of the world and not in "world maps" and you tell them you stole knowledge and honoured yourself and you tell them "People are forced to learn all about your country and you don't think that the problem is because of imperialism because we have to watch to counter anything". Getting uncomfortable at the state of the world from a person living in a country affected by your rot. White people only comfortable with u making jokes at their whiteness when they feel safe with you as an uncritical sheep . The second you remind them of their annoying impact like making trans lives harder in other countries and queer lives in general because we were always queer till white people destroyed this notion with their religion and disgusting beliefs. Same Whites who make "Illegal in x countries" jokes As if their touristy ass would ever comprehend the reality of being oppressed in a violent way in a country thats supposed to be yours but is corrupted by their white violence is funny Tone > Words i guess but thats the basic asian parent