Full-Time Dumbass

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

Scooby-Doo is a dog who can talk, which is amazing, and he largely uses his powers of speech to communicate how scared he is of ghosts and monsters, and basically the only thing his owners do is drive him around the country putting him inside various haunted houses and such. I wish I could take Scooby-Doo aside, I want to say to him, these people are not your friends.

what if what called Medicine Square Garden and it was a reallybig pharmacy or a hospital maybe

i’m on onion rings right now

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

Who else moans when they eat the subway cookie

*showtunes voice* i’ll keep it a hundred, i’ll keep it a buck! i’ll get my shit slurped on, i’ll get my shit sucked!

This is just Richard Cheese

listen i just read your bio and no one who is "covered in the blood of gods long dead", "tearing into divine flesh", and "devouring holy dread" should know about any type of fella named dick cheese

take off your watch and smell your stinky wrist