CAGE AROUND MY HEART.

some food for thought:    liz is a woman of science.    she relies upon evidence to draw her conclusions,   and max has certainly gifted her with insurmountable evidence.     evidence that he will do anything to protect her,   considering he literally brought her back from the precipice of death.     evidence that he respects her and won’t take advantage of her,    considering he wouldn’t even let liz kiss him because he feared she was operating off the echoes of his feelings alone.    and finally,  max evans loves her with everything he has,    considering those echoes told her how deep & true his feelings for her run.

liz ortecho wasn’t scared of max evans,   not even for a second.   any fear she has for max stems around her feelings for him:     fear that she’s going to let herself love him & he’s going to leave her.    fear that she’ll let something good start with him & then she’ll screw it up.     her fear around max is that she’ll get her heart broken by the one person she’s ever truly let herself love in a romantic sense. 

sure,  when liz meets max at the mines,  she’s testing him.   she’s testing to see whether he will admit he saw rosa the night she died.   and when he fails that test,   there’s a part of her that’s relieved.   not only because she’s one step closer to finding out what really happened to her sister,    to having something / someone to blame other than rosa herself,    but because this gives her an excuse not to be vulnerable.    this gives her an excuse to not face the way she feels for him,    which means she’s safe.     safe from abandonment,  from her own propensity for screwing things up,  from the realest and truest love she’s ever known.

Send a symbol for your muse to gently touch mine by: 

❥ :  tucking stray hair behind their ear

✿ : trailing soft kisses down their arm

☁ : cuddling with them under a blanket

★ : pressing a kiss to the back of their hand

▲ : leaning your head against their shoulder

♪ : singing them a lullaby and brushing their hair

◆ : wrapping your arms around them from behind

✤ : lacing your fingers into theirs and holding their hands

♣ : slowly pulling them into your lap to curl up and cuddle

▨ : rubbing their back to calm them down when they’re upset

sʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ғɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴀʏs.

in retrospect,  she should have known he would leave some piece for her to find.    some little shred of his devotion,   proof that liz ortecho was once loved by the best soul she’s ever known.   but in her defense,  she hasn’t been back to the diner in days.    hasn’t left michael’s makeshift lair since they placed max’s body into the pod,    her days and nights turning into a tumultuous,   endless search for a cure.     some way to bring him back.

when she does discover the note,     she’s running on empty.    hasn’t had a bite to eat since she last saw him alive,    hasn’t slept since those few moments of rest at his side.      hasn’t cried since she held his limp body in her arms,  either,     too hyper-focused on her work to spare time for buried-deep emotions.      would still be right there,  pouring over various chemical compounds and the reactions of lab rats,   but her father needed her.     rosa needed her.     and they were the only two people who could manage to pull her away.

it’s the familiar swirl of his handwriting that captures her attention,    brows furrowing as she studies the note from a distance.     ‘ really nice handwriting,  for a guy. ‘    her own words echo across the chasm of her mind as she slowly,    so slowly,    moves towards the slip of paper,     heart jumping unsteadily into her throat.

ᴡʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs,  ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.     of course.   of course.    trembling hands snatch the note from the counter,     fingertips desperate where they clutch this small piece of him.     doesn’t want to wrinkle it,    but she can’t stop herself from holding it close.    vision blurs with unshed tears as she stares down at it,    his warm,  gruff voice whispering into her mind:    whatever happens,  i love you.    

i’ve loved you my entire life.

the sound she makes is inhuman,    something between a strangled sob and a cry.    back pressed to the wall,   liz sinks to the floor,    knees coming to rest against her chest.     though their bond tethered them together in those final moments,   she never got to say it.    never got to utter those three little words:    i love you.   i love you, max evans.    with everything i have.

later,  she clings to the note as her fuel to keep going.    refuses to give up on discovering a cure,    working side-by-side with michael to create something,  anything  that will bring him back.   even goes so far as to get those five little words tattooed across her collarbone,  near where his handprint will always belong.    and when he comes back,  when she finally saves him,   those are the first words to tumble from her lips: