❤️Goober❤️

I want to get on Vgen so I need 5 comments and 100 likes! It would mean the world to me if you interacted <3

https://vgen.co/Aamellow

"probably because no one wants to write women or actually give a fuck about post partum issues until it effects a man"

thanks for reading this 🫶 have good days 🩵

I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF THE LEAKS, but i was spoiled of a few things on how it ends. This is my current thoughts, and i will update this after i have watched the episode when it comes out, so read this and know this is not my concrete opinion till i see the ending.

Anyone who knows the ending or watched the leaks, you can comment on my takes but try to be spoiler-free, and say that this one thing get's improved or this one thing get's worse, etc.

AND.

I understand what goosworx was going for, and i commend her for doing her best, not a lot of people get to have their show and characters animated and fully produced and that is great, but I will not glaze her any further, seeing the racist shit she did on stream. I'll give basic credit where credit is due, but i believe she can't be deemed immune to criticism just because she is indie.

None of what I'm saying here is hate towards gooseworx, just my reasoning as to why i do not like the choices they made, and none of what I'm doing here is because goosworx is trans or even because of the racism, I've felt this way since episode 7.

Disclaimer over yay! 

I mostly will be talking about jax, because i think he is the main reason why this show didn't hit in the right way, and not just cause he's an abuser, or cause i hate his character, cause you can write hate-able characters, you can write abusers in your show and it still be good, (for example, bojack horseman, or breaking bad SPOILERS FOR THE ENDINGS OF THOSE SHOWS LATER ON)

BUT i will go on a bit of a dislike rant now so i can get it out of my system:

I don't care if it's because he thinks the world doesn't matter, that none of these people are real. I don't care if it's because his little heart is broken because he lost his friend. That is never an excuse. There can be a reason, but it's not an excuse. And here is the thing, man. IF I was in this circus, I certainly would be pissed at him, but I genuinely would give him a chance like Pomni is. TO A DEGREE, I would try to help him the best I can, and when my limit is reached, I will fuck the hell off. NO ONE in that circus has any duty, or responsibility, to NURSE Jax into being an okay person. If they don't want to do that while they are already dealing with their own issues, that is literally valid. 

Okay with that out of the way, 

I don't want my words of Jax to come off like I don't understand that abusers usually abuse because they are scared, went through a traumatic experience, or were taught it in some way and that we should just kill all abusers on sight at the first sign of abuse cause that is not what I am saying, there is a lot of nuance to what all of this means, and the degree of abuse, and the circumstances. And I think the representation of what abusers go through and what makes them abuse and what's going through their head is a needed one, but holy fuck you cannot do that in a nine-episode show with 7 characters.

ALSO You can't write an abusive character, and not show to the audience that when you are like this, you get punished for it. The most jax has ever gotten was insults from zooble, and one fight with pomni. AND WHEN HE TRIED TO KEEP EVERYONE IN THE CIRCUS and zooble tried to say hey what the fuck you are fucking insane, gangle decides to be like we all gotta work together and be friends or else!! and I UNDERSTAND what goosworx is trying to do and say here, I have no mouth and i must scream did this right, but again, it fails… so hard.. cause you have only 9 episodes to do this. The previous examples of bojack horseman and breaking bad, Bojack is given MULTIPLE chances to become better, and sometimes he takes those chances, but ends up back to his abusive ways. Walter White literally had a fresh start, and still chose to go back to Albuquerque, and guess what happens?

Spolier:

Both receive consequences to their own actions, walter white being killed, and bojack overdosing while hallucinating all this friends and family not giving a fuck about him.

Now specifically Pomni and Jax,

When Pomni shows up at the circus, episode by episode she learns more about her fellow prisoners, and helps each one of them in some way. She sees Jax, reserved and spiteful, and genuinely wants to make an effort to get to know him and maybe help him. So she tries to. We all know how that ended up, Ragatha saw Pomni hanging out with jax, and subsequently, the hanging out is doing what jax does. being "chaotic evil" not caring about others, etc. Pomni seems to enjoy this to a certain extent, finally letting loose and finding solace in jax's "nothing matters' idea, because it is exhausting to be a prisoner trapped in never-ending circus hell with the idea that all of this matters and it's fucking awful. Ragatha sees this behavior, and kind of freaks out, nervous that Pomni will end up like Jax. That what happened to kaufmo and ribbit will happen to Pomni, as it is kind of implied that it was jax's "nothing matters" thinking that made them both abstract. This is something that is only implied, as the rest of the cast blames him for it. Now I doubt that it was really all of Jax's fault, as he states that being around someone before they abstract, that they are usually an "awful person to be around." If i were to guess, kaufmo and/or ribbit were struggling ALOT with being in the circus, and jax tried to help by telling them it's okay cause nothing matters. He might have failed to realize that while this perspective works for him (kinda) it doesn't mean it will for them. That isn't a crime, he was trying to help, but that doesn't mean he should keep doing it lol. 

Pomni is completely role-playing this chaotic evil for fun, and wanted to get closer to jax, jax felt he got closer and hated that. He didn't want to feel vulnerable, didn't want to get close to someone who "wasn't real" and just a plaything to him, and he acts out horrendously. Jax is not only an abuser to ragatha and gangle, but when i rewatched the scene of "they all get guns" when pomni and jax start arguing, I was DISGUSTED by jax's behavior, calling Pomni DELUSIONAL and gaslighting her, saying "you must be misremembering." Pomni tried her hardest, and kept trying even when he tried to sweep a friendly hangout under the rug. This argument happened, and i felt like nothing changed in the show, besides jax being very emo. It didn't feel like pomni was very effected by this but maybe I'm misremembering? It just feels like everything is about him, even in an argument where pomni was emotionally manipulated it's only about him bro.

One thing i hate more than anything is the "i can fix him" trope. Because it is always "i can fix him" and never "i can fix her" for a reason. It's always at a woman's expense. If the "i can fix him" trope was a trope where a woman actually does improve a man and he apologizes for his behavior after then hell yeah, but that's not what it is. It is a trope of a woman going through hell to try and improve a man's life cause she cares and wants him to be better and be a better person, and failing at it cause he never wants to be better, and she is put through the wringer. 

The tadc couple matching t-shirt merch of jax and "i can fix him" and pomni with "I can make her WORSE"  I get is supposed to be a joke, but the joke is "haha a woman trusts and believes a man can get better? that's so funny cause I'm actually an abusive shit, i make her life worse, and she can't fix me!! hahah!!" The joke is still at the woman’s expense yet again so it is seriously just unfunny to me.

I want to have unique designs that are striking but nothing i make seems enough :((

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