BLUE PHEASANT,

ㅤㅤㅤthere is no shyness in what pax does — at least for now. he's well aware kuzan finds him attractive, and well aware of the former admiral's appetite too. he'd caught those lingering eyes on his cleavage, and on the occasion in which he found himself alone and exploring — it would be his own hand that would find his breast and cup the heavy flesh. he'd tease his nipples as he stroked himself with fingers, and he'd find relief with kuzan's name on his tongue — but it was only just enough to leave him restless. pax finds now though, that kuzan is so much better at this than his own hands.

ㅤㅤㅤ ❝ strong in most things. ❞ he teases, ❝ just not — mm — this... ❞ pax's eyes widen, before fluttering shut. immediately, long fingertips find that curly hair, and he lets out a breathless sigh. a shiver skates down his spine. kuzan's fingers are cold — his mouth even more so. they force his nipples to immediate sensitivity by chilling them and the tiny rings piercing the flesh. pax had no idea how sensitive he could be — but he figures it out quickly. that cold mouth and wicked fingertips pick him apart, sending jolts of pleasure straight to his core. pax moans, he gasps every time kuzan does something particularly delicious with his tongue, and he outright moans at the sweet sucking noises leaving his lovers mouth — especially when their eyes meet. pax is disheveled, his cheeks flushed, his lips slick, and his chest pressed towards the other's mouth — begging for more attention, despite the already raw state of his nipples.

ㅤㅤㅤheat continues to pool at his core, a slick wetness heavy between his legs and already inviting at the thought of kuzan. as the elder pulls from his breasts to instead so gently kiss him, pax smiles sweetly, stroking his fingers down his cheek, and biting his lower lip in wanton satisfaction. he has a quip on his tongue-

ㅤㅤㅤuntil he doesn't.

‘you never—’  he repeats, as if trying to register those words. he looks up, notices the deep flush in the mistbinder's cheeks, how his gaze wanders and escapes his. kuzan blinks. ‘oh.’  the awareness jolts through him like electricity. his dark eyebrows knit, mouth agape as he tries to come up with something clever, or snarky, or anything at all, that won't ruin the moment and won't make him look like a complete idiot. the former admiral realizes he does not quite know how to feel about it—it would be presumptuous to believe pax was waiting for him to experience intimacy for the first time, but the mere possibility, however remote, stabs him with a guilt so bitter it shrinks his heart and cuts the breath from his lungs.

but at the same time... a soft kind of mischief glints in kuzan's eyes. his hand lifts to pax's face, two fingers tilting his chin to meet his gaze. pax's squirming elicits a soft gasp from his lips.

‘ah-’

the pirate's hand falls away, to the small of pax's back. he stills his movements, but can hardly resist stroking the base of his spine—so close to the waistband of his pants, to his rear, and other places that promise endless bliss. but the mistbinder knows kuzan can be so, so cruel. he smiles up at him, all guilt and hesitation faded from the confident light in his eyes. ‘ever played with yourself, pax?’  he asks, the question dripping with anticipation as his hand continues to roam. the other hand grabs one of pax's breasts, thumb mercilessly rubbing at his abused nipple. ‘with your fingers, or—something else?’ 

kuzan's gaze darkens, his voice tilts. ‘thinking of me?’ 

ㅤㅤㅤhe could kiss kuzan for hours. days. weeks. if he died like this so be it. the elder's lips are soft — his tongue cool and clever. pax finds his fingertips lightly caressing the former admiral's jaw as kuzan consumes him, swallowing the soft noises he makes with a devilish grin and silken voice. they part. pax's cheeks are flushed, a smile splitting his lips. he can see the blue flecks in kuzan's gaze so clearly, every line of his face beautiful in the flickering firelight of the cabin. their noses rub together — and kuzan's voice is a song when he says those words pax had wanted to hear for so, so long.

ㅤㅤㅤi love you.

ㅤㅤㅤhis heart could feel no bigger. it could grow no larger. it's like something cracked has finally mended — a certain completion sliding into place that fixes his soul in a way he couldn't name. it's like a years long chase has ended, and pax can only sigh in relief, his face contorting in devastated happiness, as he pulls kuzan into another kiss. he wants to say it back. it bubbles in his chest, it loiters on his tongue. he knows kuzan knows — knows he has to know with everything pax has done and continues to do. but he holds onto it — just a little longer. this was one step. they needed one more. they needed to be ready.

ㅤㅤㅤkiss after kiss sends the mistbinder molten. they're reminiscent of that fateful evening against his desk, when pax would've done anything for just a taste of this. kuzan gives it to him now, devouring his mouth and leaving him barely able to moan his pleasure until devilish teeth seek to give him the opportunity. pax sighs in bliss. his fingers now curl into kuzan's chest, and he lets himself bask in this... in what might happen.

ㅤㅤㅤkuzan's length is... hard to ignore. it sits against his pert rear, warmer than the rest of him, and promising something delightful. as their eyes meet again — pax bites his kiss stained lip, the look entirely too alluring. ❝ mm, yeah. ❞ his smile splits wider. pax leans backwards. the gesture forces his hips to move, the tiniest bit of friction applied to the hardness as pax grins up at him. ❝ i can definitely feel that. ❞ their gazes don't part. instead, he ensures kuzan continues to look at him — as he reaches behind his torso. quick fingertips twist behind him, and with the assistance of a few tendrils of mist, that cropped top falls down his arms and to their laps with a rustle of silk fabric.

he loves him... his heart of ice feels like it might explode from how much he loves pax, how badly he needs to tell him again, even if he won't get it back—but his mouth is busy, and his mind is filled with the faint aftershock that the friction between his half-hard cock and pax's pretty ass sparks through him. when they part, kuzan licks his lower lip, as though he could still savor his beloved's taste in the sweet, silver gleam of his saliva. he's so close to finding heaven, in a secluded hut in the middle of nowhere, but he only realizes how far he'd actually been when pax unclasps his top, letting it fall between them. kuzan's eyes widen, his breath catches. ‘arara,’ well, there's no way he could ever turn back now. he does not want to, neither of them wants to. they've been waiting for so long that the opportunity to touch pax like that feels almost like a mirage.

kuzan feels himself twitch, and no doubt pax feels it too.

‘you have to warn me next time, i'm not a strong man.’

there's a wicked glint in his eyes as his hands travel from the mistbinder's back to the front. two cold fingers rush to tease a nipple, toying with the piercing as he rubs it to hardness. kuzan's eyes lid heavily as he meets the younger's gaze—something of a test quietly taking place as pax's warmth pools, his consent palpable as it grinds down against kuzan as the tiniest movement. the former admiral does not wait much to cup both of his breasts in his hands and squeeze them with hurried desire, as his head dips and his mouth finds the same nipple that is, by now, puffy with attention. he laps at it with hunger, tongue swirling over the sensitive head, then switches to its neglected twin—again and again he sucks passionate kisses, on the tip as well as the rest of pax's soft breast, and fuck, if this foreign warmth that spreads through him is pax's doing, he will take it.

ㅤㅤㅤ ❝ it was either guanhao, or the marines. ❞ he busies himself — fiddling with the collar — or really, lack thereof — of kuzan's shirt. ❝ and i couldn't, i wouldn't... ❞ their gazes meet again. pax implores kuzan to understand what he's trying to say without him saying it. how could he contend with seeing sakazuki, seeing the scars his kuzan had left on him, and not try to kill the man? pax wasn't a violent person. he usually only killed with orders, but in this case... the very real thought of trying to covertly murder the fleet admiral had crossed his mind. it's best not to dwell on it — pax's motivations, the things that had happened. they'd talk about it more in depth, he knew. but for now...

ㅤㅤㅤ ❝ hush. ❞ he tsks lightly, shifting in kuzan's lap. the fire has pleasantly warmed him now, the mist turning slow and lazy as it plays about kuzan's legs. the mistbinder's features are firm, but he amber eyes are fond, his soft and kiss-stained lips pinched into a slight smile. ❝ you've never been a lost cause to me. you never will be. ❞ his hand raises, it cups kuzan's scarred cheek. he tilts his head, silken hair falling over his chest. the words stir something in him — hope, maybe. they stand on the precipice of something again, but he is a bit frightened to take the leap, because last time...

ㅤㅤㅤpax wants to say the words. he wants to hear them. he wants to ask. but it's so soon. barely hours between years, a yawning abyss of lost time. he feels it strongly, that love. but it's nurtured close to his chest still, not as guarded as before, but kept a little safer, a little more wary. not yet, he tells himself. soon, but not yet.

ㅤㅤㅤso he words it a different way.

‘i love you.’ 

it is final, devoid of any doubt. the answer to all questions.

when pax kisses him, something clicks. like a missing piece finding its slot. kuzan's arms surround the mistbinder's waist, pulling him closer into a desperately urgent embrace as he seeks to deepen that contact—pax opens like a fragrant bud, and there is almost no hesitation in the way his mouth is violated. kuzan's skilled tongue fills him, sucking breathlessly. a tantalizing taste of what is going to come, should pax... want to go all the way down that path.

he's been tempting before, always beckoning the former admiral closer, to touch, to take, and kuzan never did. but two years have taught him impatience. selfishness. his want flashes brightly through his lidded eyes as his teeth tug lightly at pax's glistening bottom lip, a cold hand sliding all the way up the mistbinder's spine to thread through the seafoam hair cascading down his back, pulling gently at the roots. the sound pax makes sparks a mischievous glint in the elder's gaze, warm with lust.

‘fuck, pax, i love you so much.’ 

kuzan's voice is rough as sand. it's like pax's words have pinched a string so deep inside him that the echo of it cannot stop reverberating. nothing else will matter, he says, and truly nothing else does—nothing except the press of kuzan's hand between his shoulder blades and his mouth expertly teasing wet moans out of pax every time their tongues lock. nothing except the way his chest feels so full and his pants so tight. he doesn't feel like fighting it, the way desire washes through him like a tide. there had been times... when pax was so alluring, so ripe for the taking, that kuzan had to artificially lower his body temperature to be able to successfully ignore it. not this time, though. this time he lets pax feel the outline of his arousal pressing against his backside as kuzan nuzzles his cheek, the mist coiling around them like a promise.

ㅤㅤㅤperhaps he had also grown too comfortable.

ㅤㅤㅤthey'd struck before pax had even made it to kuzan's room, the island working against him as the mist had shrouded his steps. it was intended to be a surprise — pax materializing on a phantom wind in the elder's bed and offering him the warmth and softness of his embrace. kuzan would greet him with a smile — a lingering kiss, and they'd fall into each other's bodies for a few days, lost in another reunion and the whispered words of affection that trailed between them. of course blackbeard's crew would think to put a stop to what would have been a very pleasant few days.

ㅤㅤㅤhe wasn't entirely helpless. pax's observation haki had kept him from being truly overwhelmed or shackled in seastone and dragged along. seconds before the sword had swung for him — he'd twisted to the side, and the mist had lashed out in warning. but pax was not built for front-facing conflict — he was not built to brawl. it's not really a surprise when a hand closes around his throat, squeezing tightly, and a fist connects with his beautiful face. blood blooms on his lips, and the last thing he remembers is his glasses shattered, falling to the ground, before things go black.

ㅤㅤㅤ---

ㅤㅤㅤhe's not sure how long he lays there. he's not sure he knows where he is when he opens his eyes. all he knows is they're outside — illuminated by torchlight. before him, he sees large feet — and as pax's gaze travels upwards, he finds dark eyes staring back at him. gleeful. greedy. wide mouth split in a grin — golden tooth gleaming. ❝ well, we finally got our hands on you, didn't we? ❞ it's another lilting voice that speaks next — melodious and serene: ❝ best be quick about it, commodore. you hardly want him to discover what's happened. ❞ pax's mist writhes. it snaps like angry snakes as the mistbinder grunts, dragging himself to his hands and knees, and glancing around. shiryu of the rain, laffitte, burgess... all men he knows. all men in his files.

ㅤㅤㅤpax bares his teeth when the darkness encroaches.

ㅤㅤㅤ ❝ he'll make your death more painful than i ever could. ❞

ㅤㅤㅤhe swears all he hears is malicious laughter, as things go black.

ㅤㅤㅤ---

ㅤㅤㅤwhen pax wakes, it's with frosted breath.

ㅤㅤㅤthe air is freezing, but not for him. his mist seems to thrive in it, the element wreathing around his body as if checking for further wounds in worry. he's sluggish, mind slow. his bare hand finds an icy floor. he looks up to see frost encrusting teach's boots, burgess half frozen. laffitte is gone, shiryu is shivering, and the rest...

ㅤㅤㅤpax, pax- hey.

ㅤㅤㅤhe meets kuzan's shaded gaze upon request, amber eyes finally focusing on his handsome face. he's terribly tired, snowflakes falling lightly upon his flesh, as he peers up at kuzan with curious reverence. ❝ you're here. ❞ he seems to sag with relief. the mist does too, clinging to kuzan's body like he might disappear. kuzan lifts him easily, and pax curls into the coolness of his body with little thought. his eyes can barely see the way crew members and pirates alike are frosted over — still statues that many would die from. he wonders if the other captains would survive. probably, but that doesn't stop pax from looking out of the corner of his eye — gaze tired but sharp, and meeting teach's gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤand then, he looks away.

ㅤㅤㅤpax shivers, and not from the cold. he can still feel it — that encroaching darkness, the way it rooted at the heart of him, the way it tried to smother is mist. the countless writhing souls, the screams and din of the dying — of tintalim's sacred fruit, of the power that came with what he wielded. pax had tried to drown him, to kill him. he'd kicked and he'd screamed and he'd-

ㅤㅤㅤif kuzan hadn't appeared when he did...

‘touch him again, see how that ends.’ he says, something of the admiral he'd once been seeping through his commanding voice. ‘out of my way.’ no captain, no commodore bullshit. and teach isn't stupid, he knows not to prod. his crooked grin widens, and his wink is for pax, but he steps aside to remove his large frame from the stairs that climb deep into the fortress. ‘we'll talk later.’ kuzan adds, flatly, and at that blackbeard seems to agree. if there's an open threat, it's shines more transparently in the way his ice continues to spread, forcing everyone that does not wish to be caught in its jaws to hurry out of the room. he heads for the stairs instead, a wall of ice blocking the way behind him, every step freezing as to make damn sure he's not going to be followed any time soon. when he reaches the door to his room, all the ice retreats into him.

it's quiet inside. a place seldom inhabited. he deposits pax on the large bed, tucking him under the sheets to warm him up. he supposes he doesn't mind the cold, not when the cold means safety, means kuzan—but he's shivering, the pirate notices with a visibly concerned glance. he sits at his bedside, the round shades gently laid on the nightstand. ‘let me.’ regret is written all over kuzan's expression as he leans over pax, his fingers first ghosting over his bloody lips. the cold blooms again, the burn of it stinging the edges of the wound shrunk until it stops bleeding altogether. then his palm travels all the way to the mistbinder's cheek, cupping the bruise with his ice-cold skin. of course, pax is more than capable to heal himself. far better than anyone else, perhaps. but there is a glaring apology in the way kuzan leans further down, planting a slow, regretful kiss on his lover's forehead.

‘does it hurt anywhere else?’

almost tentatively, he pulls a strand of seafoam hair out of the other's vision. an obvious question hangs above them, one that kuzan does not really need asking. did they try to steal your devil fruit? he's not sure he wants to go there, not when pax looks so tired, and all he wants is to soothe his hurt. he wants to tell him to never set foot on pirate island ever again, that it's too dangerous, but even that can wait. for now, all he does is litter loving kisses on pax's temples, chilly against his aching cheekbones, and squeeze his hands above the sheets. something flickers in his eyes. ‘i'm sorry i wasn't here.’

i'm here now. i'm not going anywhere.