@a-z-l - Tumblr Blog

i came on here to delete all of my blogs but the delete button on the app is gone??

#and my laptop got water leaked onto it for like 11 hours so you can imagine what that did to it /:#oh well

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.

#update im happier than ive ever been #i stopped eating for a year and got skinny lmaooo #im angrier than ive been in a while and im a lot less tolerant of meanness #but im still so much happier than i was before #ive stopped having random panic attacks #i got kittens #i dyed my hair green #I live next door to a legal dispensary lmao #and i have somewhere to move once this whole pandemic is over #im gonna live with my best friend #i was planning on going out this year and just kinda trying new things but im kind of glad i cant #i definitely wasnt ready #im loving being by myself and not having to take care of someone else #not having to give 200% and receive 50% in return #i genuinely dont miss her #i havent for a while #once i realized how at peace i am without her i stopped missing her #im genuinely so happy now #i do still wish i could redo 2016 and just avoid her altogether #but it is what it is and the whole thing helped me to realize who i am when im hurt and what i want and what i NEED from a partner #i just discovered a lot about myself through this whole ordeal and i know what i need to change in myself and my life #i still have bad moments but they're fleeting and i can easily work through them now #im okay #and im going to continue to be even more okay #i love my quiet mediocre little life

if i had the patience to go through this blog and purge her from it i would take this blog back she's gone she's deleted and deactivated and im so glad i stood up for myself she doesn't deserve me or my heart or my tears i am much better without her demanding i fix her while she destroys me

.

#for anyone still in the bts fandom that still remembers rapling #shes abusive and manipulative

i could be so much more healed and in such a better place had you just told the truth earlier it's not fair that you deliberately took that much healing away from me while you got to heal, you got to work towards happiness with someone to help you heal your heart and i planned my suicide because i thought it was what i deserved...so much time that could have been spent healing was wasted because you didn't want to own up to your lie....

if nothing else gets through your head, I want that to because that's the most unfair part about this

you essentially stole my healing from me just because you're selfish and a coward

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oceansinmymind

“You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain”

— The Script - Breakeven

#lololololololololol #youre just livung ut up with him now arent you #you dont deserve him after the lengths you went to keep him and keep me #you strung me along and i dont know why #i dont know what the point was #so much time and energy wasted

armers

#youve proven that if you ever did care #you stopped a long time ago

imso2000late

bluehaireded

It’s true but it could be the best thing ever as well

#you gave me hope while you lied to my face #while you let me drive myself to being physically ill from self hatred

I have been blaming and hating myself for months when I didn't deserve to. I never hurt her this badly. I was going to die. She was going to let me die.

long-sleeves-and-deep-cuts

I don’t wanna fight anymore, I’m just too tired.

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imso2000late

bluehaireded

It’s true but it could be the best thing ever as well

long-sleeves-and-deep-cuts

I just have to keep pretending like it’s not affecting me.

lonely-my-middle-name

black-femme-goddess

Maybe that’s just how it’s supposed to be…

#ive come to the conclusion that i was created to suffer and be lonely

xbloody-thighsxhollow-eyesx

Fuck this shit

imjustascaredlilgirl

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panic-waves

every part of my body hurts like hell but i’m fucking trying

imjustascaredlilgirl

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