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She was born in hell, but she doesn't belong with the Sins or the rest of the hellborns because she doesn't allow herself to indulge in sinful behavior. She is a product of hell, but she rejects the very essence of it.

She doesn't fit in with the sinners around her either because she doesn't have a place in heaven, and she has to watch human souls choose to be evil despite having the chance to aim for something better while she is trapped in hell no matter how good and kind she is.

Every single one of the people she befriended is gonna leave her behind at some point (she is actively helping them to do so), but she doesn't allow herself to be sad about it, the same way she doesn't allow herself to grieve Sir Pentious once she finds out he is in heaven, because this is supposed to be a good thing and if she doesn't feel happy then she is a bad person.

And then there's Vaggi. I have no doubt that she loves Charlie with everything she's got (I don't think Charlie doubts it either), but we don't talk enough about how Charlie's perspective of their relationship changes after finding out Vaggi is a fallen angel. Not because she cares that she was an exorcist, but because before that, she thought that Vaggi was a sinner who was choosing her over the chance to go to heaven and be a winner, and suddenly she finds out that maybe she stays with Charlie because she has nowhere else to be. But that's an awful thing to feel, and she knows she doesn't actually believe that, so she ignores it as well.

I thought we all agreed that your nostalgia is not worth more than someone else's identity, but YEAH SUUUURE, lets give our money to this transphobic bitch and pretend her beliefs have nothing to do whith this storie EVEN THO SHE IS DIRECTLY CONTRIBUTING WITH YOUR MONEY to make the world even more unsafe than it already is for trans people

Fuck you, actually.

Husk needs to learn how to let people in again, understanding how to be vulnerable and feel comfortable having friends/a lover is a crucial part of his recovery. In the pilot he said that he had lost the ability to love and that is because his addiction has taken that from him, and he needs to be able to feel again in order to get better (overcome this copping mechanism).

Meanwhile, Angel doesn't need that, he has friendship in Cherri, he has a lover - a fucked up version of one, but still - in Valentino, and he eventually got close to the people in the hotel. He can have relationships and get close to others with no issues, while still being addicted to drugs, coping through hypersexuality, and going back to an abusive relationship.

Husk feels alone in the hotel during s2e6, maybe for the first time in a long time: Angel is not there, everyone else has their own personal shit to take care of and he finds himself dissappearing behind the bar. The feeling of being lonely and reduced to the guy who makes the drinks (for example when Charlie and Vaggi attempt to fight through him right before he storms out) by the poeple he was willing to call friends works as a reminder of this idea that no one cares, and therefore he shouldn't either. That's what gets him too relapse during Love In A Bottle, a song that starts with "It has been such a long time since I've been out on my own / bittersweet to be so free and so alone" and then keeps going, talking about how you don't need the highs and lows of love when you can just numb it all with alcohol and substitute feelings with the adrenaline you get from gambling.

Angel appearing in the casino snaps him right out of it, not just because he might be realizing in that very moment that he is in love with him, but also because Angel spends this whole performance looking at him, when he is done he gets down from the stage to have a drink whit him, and then he tries to convince him to go back to the hotel. Angel is a reminder of the fact that this people care for him and to Husk perhaps that means he has a good enough reason to live (exist?) through another day.

But that is not enough for Angel, it never was. When he was alive we all assume he had a good relationship with Molly, after he died he met Cherri, then he started staying at the hotel and everyone there was nice enough even before they became his actual friends. He has always have people around him to take care of him and make him feel loved, but no amout of love can heal you from trauma, cure addiction or replace unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Angel's recovery, as opposite to Husk's, doesn't depend on his capacity to find a way out of his lonliness, it depends on his ability to be alone with himself

And this doesn't mean that having people who care for hin would automatically heal Husk (as I said, love by itself cannot cure mental illness or addiction) and that definitely doesn't mean angel should isolate himself until he heals, because that's about the worst thing one could do if they are trying to get better (you don't have to wait until you've recovered to let people love you, that's just another way to let the idea of being broken or a burden take over and it won't help anyone)

valdust - human sapphic au