R O W A N

Delia's POV:

I was living in Vancouver now. I had gotten my degree from NYU after the last year of senior torture. I had got offered a job as an art exhibit dealer for a small business near the river. My job was to gather new exhibits so that we could sell the art off of our walls to the first person that wanted them. It was boring slightly but I enjoyed all the new art and photography that came in every month on top of maintaining the private collection from the original family.

I was sitting in my desk in my office, surrounded by paperwork for the new exhibit. The artist went by the name Mitchell Jones. I hadn't seen any of the paintings and I wouldn't until they got here later today. I had finished signing all of the paper work when the small dark haired head of my assistant popped in through the crack on my door. The sounds of them building the exhibit echoed into my room.

"Ms. Marin, the paintings will be up in an hour," she said in a tweedy manner. I pulled my fingers through my hair as I sat back in my chair. I thanked her before she closed the old cherry wood door behind her. I glanced at my window that over shown the hockey highlights that were rolling down the street of downtown Vancouver. The glass was old and manipulated by age. Bubbles were forming and glass was starting to have a slight wave effect. It was already dark and I was supposed to stay until the paintings got here. My luck was that they already arrived and we're in the process of setting up the paintings against the white set ups.

I logged off my computer and picked up my book for a while. I was done with all the paperwork. I could spare some time. I pulled my jacket around me as I got over aggressively into my book. I had accidentally kicked my stapler off my desk in protest when I had realized everything was quiet.  I glanced at my clock realizing that it was almost one in the morning. I had been reading for almost six hours. I had made a pretty good way though my book obviously. I set it down on my desk as I slid out of my chair. I slid my hands over my dark jeans, the heels of my boots clicking against the hardwood. I pulled my jacket over the over sized sweater I was wearing. I turned all the lights off in my office before exiting into the hall. I sighed softly with my hands in my long jacket pockets, walking down the carefully carved cherry wood stairs slowly. That's when the light caught the corner of my eye. There was a posted note on the old darkly painted wall with the clipboard from the guys that moved the art in. I skimmed over the note. It wasn't for me but it was about me.

Notice: Please leave the lights on after installing. Leave the note for your manager to find. She needs to see the exhibit alone for the first time.

I frowned slightly. I recognized the hand writing but I couldn't place where. I walked around the corner slowly, not sure what I expected to see. It wasn't this. I hadn't heard from him in three years but he snapped back to the front of my brain like he did every night. Every picture was one I had already seen before with some new ones. Some of them were even mine. There were lights hanging from the ceiling just like before and I felt my voice catch in my throat as tears instantly sprang to my eyes. I slowly walked towards the center of the old Victorian room admiring every picture. It told a story. It told our story.

There was the picture of me at the park studying. He had been scared to talk to me then. I smiled softly at the memory. There was the portrait of him covered in blue and black paint that crowned the smallest wall. There was a picture of me in the snow after we had visited this very building for the first time. I had never looked happier. I sincerely knew that was the beginning of the rest of my career. This was all I had ever wanted to do. There was a picture of me holding the small puppy, Cookie, before he grew so large that I couldn't hold him. Cole's arms around me as we both looked down at him like proud parents. That was the day Cookie had learned to give high fives. I remembered it so strongly in the basement of our small town house. There was a picture of me laughing and trying to push away from Cole but he held my face, kissing all over it. The next picture was of the same hour or so. I had his cheeks squished between my fingers and he was smiling so happily that the corners of his eyes were wrinkled. I loved and missed that smile every day. It haunted me often. The picture of our first morning together was even bigger than last time as it sat hung high on the ending wall, towering over all the others. There was a sticky note on the bottom right corner of the majestic photo, a single white rose placed on a small platform next to the photo. I delicately took the rose in between my fingers as I read the note quietly to myself.

Note: Delia, I knew you'd go to this picture first. This moment was when we both realized where the beginning of the rest of our lives started. I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life and still do but what I want most is for you to turn around. -CS

I turned around slowly, almost half expecting to see him, but he wasn't there, a soft frown appearing on my face at his absence. The opposing wall had been painted on in fine scrawling. It was his handwriting in a deep black paint that shimmered a deep dark blue like the night skies back in New York. I wiped my eyes slowly, not even caring about my make up. I knew I looked like a mess. I walked towards to slowly, staring at the delicate strokes that he had clearly spent so much time on. I stepped back enough to read it.

My dearest, Delia, I have loved you for what has been almost five years now. We haven't spoken and I'm sure you already forgot about me. You're such a strong, amazing, talented woman that I feel like I would be wrong to think that you aren't deeply in love with someone already as they are with you. You're everything I ever dreamed. You taught me how to truly love myself and not let my own self implicated troubles get in my way. You taught me how to love more than just a person. You taught me how to love every single waking moment with that person. You taught me how to enjoy even the little things of how they open a coke to how they say certain words to how they even whisper your name when they wake up scared. You taught me how to love deeply and live past the here and now. There's only one thing missing from my life. Not a day goes by that I haven't thought about you. I seem to spend every waking moment thinking about and hoping that you're still out there and okay. I have never stopped loving you. If you ever change your mind, you know where I'll be. I will always be yours. -Cole M. Sprouse x

If I wasn't crying before I was sobbing now. I felt my knees hit the ground as I fell onto the floor. I hunched over myself as I started sobbing into my hands as recklessly as it seemed possible. My throat was already getting dry from the vocality of my sobs. I cried for what felt like hours. He was it for me. He was everything that I ever wanted and now everything that I thought I was still looking for. Even from so far away all those years ago, I had felt happy even just knowing that thousands of miles away he was mine and waiting for me to come to him, and I had just walked away from him. When things got too hard, I walked away from the one person I knew could make me happy for the rest of my life. I walked away. I slowly found myself laying on the floor in a huddled mess of salted tears and bitter regrets when I felt a sticky note against my cheek. It had probably fallen off the wall. With my throat sore from all the crying and the repeated mess of 'I'm so sorry's, I had realized that the post-it note wasn't one that I had read yet.

Note: Delia, the train railways that run down under the bridge of 12th and Lexington. We start filming at midnight going into Thursday, November 6th. I'm not sure when they'll put in put the exhibit or if you'll ever see it in time, but if you do, if you would like, you'll know where I'll be. I'll be here waiting for you to come back to me, but I want it to be your decision. I left the ring for you for when or if you ever decide to come back. I love you. -Cole

That was tomorrow. I checked my watch quickly. It was today and it was now almost two in the morning. I was late and I really hoped that I didn't lose him yet. I scurried off the floor, shoving myself off of walls to get down to my car. I drove to the closet train station, barely even paying for a ticket before I heard the dinging of the train pulling into the station. I gently pushed through the crowed in what seemed to be an almost aggressive state. The train doors had begun to close. I had to get there. I had to. I felt like my entire weight of my life was on my shoulders. I glanced down at the ring on my left ring finger as each second got dramatically slower until it was like time stopped. The glint from the ring was just as large as the day he gave it to me. I felt my world crash down around me.

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Cole's POV:

I was sitting in my seat behind the camera, watching the rest of the actors walk around and talk about. I sat in silence as I watched, not really listening. I checked my watch as K.J. Apa walked up behind me. There was a frown in his voice as he whispered over the rush of the late night train station. The lights were bright and endless on the set, and people were scurrying about but I didn't want to be here.

"Cole, mate, I don't think she's coming."

It felt like a pile of bricks was sitting on my chest no matter which way I set. It felt like every living thing that could have ever been inside of me died at that very moment. It was three in the morning. She wasn't coming or hadn't seen it and probably still wouldn't decide to talk to me. Three years was a long time to still love someone that wouldn't talk to you. I had tried for a few months after the initial break up because I knew at the end of the day, she was who I wanted to come back to. She was who I wanted to come home to. She had been for a very long time now. I hung my head as the director called us back to the empty train that sat on the tracks. There was a small group of locals that came out to watch us film tonight, and I wanted nothing more than to break down in the the mess that I had been since she left.

I climbed up onto the train, standing in the door way of the bunkerous area that lead through the middle of the train. I leaned against the sliding door, staring down at Lili with a slight smirk, trying to get into character as best I could, trying to not let the overwhelming knowledge that she wasn't going to come get to me. Not now. Of all times. The director yelled 'action' and the scene started playing. I tried to smile at Lili as she held her hand out to climb into the train. There was an instant yell of 'cut'. She didn't even reach my hand.

"Cole, try to look more genuine. You mostly look like you're going to throw up on her." I nodded slowly with pursed lips. Lili backed up from me again as I put on the best smile that I could. The entire area was dead silent as the director said action.I held my hand out to Lili, but that's when I heard it. There was a sound of consecutive plinks against the railings of the trains. I shielded my eyes from the light to see a small figure emerging from the crowd. The feminine figure tossed something towards me and I peered down to what looked like a half empty skittles bag. The overwhelming fear turned into sudden recognition. That's when I could see her. She had walked into the light.

Her hair was longer than the last time I had seen her. It flowed dark and slightly curly down her back. She was wearing the one sweater that I couldn't seem to find when I moved out here. It was old and wearing and had a hole on the inside of the left arm. The dark green material made her green eyes glisten in the lights of the set. My eyes slid to her hands. It was sitting on the ring finger of her left hand just like I had always wanted it to be. There she was. Right there in front of me.

I felt like my heart was going to drop out of my chest as I slowly managed to slide out of the train compartment. I seemed to just stare at her for a long time as people tried to get to her to pull her away from the set. Lili and K.J. waving them off in the distance. She was right there, not even a few feet away from me. With a slow blink there she was right in front of me. Her face was not but an inch away from mine as I felt my heart stop at the gentle words that came out of her mouth.

I reached down to gently push the dark curl away from his forehead. His jaw tightened slightly as he shifted in his sleep. I glanced at his three suitcases in the corner of our room, feeling my frown only deepen. I didn't have seperation anxiety, but something about Cole leaving and living on what almost felt like the other side of the world while I stayed behind made me start to feel empty. I felt like he was just going to leave me here. The small town house was going to feel so empty even with Dylan around. The flight wasn't for another four hours. He had spent half the night packing and stressing out and pacing, wondering if he forgot anything. I wasn't quite sure how he had fallen asleep after all that. It was like one minute he was throwing random things towards his bags and the next he was passed out on the bed. Either way, it made me not want to wake him even more. It didn't matter.

The slight movements in his sleep seemed to wake himself up. I laid on my side watching him as his blue eyes fluttered open, his lips parting as his brow furrowed. His morning voice was deep and raspy and it was something I didn't want to forget while he was gone. I promised myself that I wouldn't, but what if I did. It was going to be months. What if I started to forget the simplest things like the sound of his voice or how blue his eyes really were? What if I forget what it feels like for him to hold me? What if I forget what his touch feels like? What if I forget?

I didn't realize how deep in thought I was until I felt a gentle touch against my cheek. He had rolled over to face me, his blue eyes were alluring as he watched me with a calm, half asleep expression. He didn't look away from me as a soft frown formed on his lips, his fingers dancing over my skin. We still have a few hours and I wanted to do nothing but cry. He sat up slowly before looking down on me with his own gentle frown. His dark hair fell in his eyes before he looked over at his packed bags.

"Today's the day. I have to go back again. My two days are up," he whispered in the quiet morning in our town house that I knew would soon feel empty. I watched him with sad eyes, holding back the tears that I knew had been so close to spilling. His fingers gently tapped the underside of my chin, causing me to look at him. His voice was gentle. "I will pay for you to come visit me anytime. I'll call you every night-"

He said that but sometimes he forgot to call me for over a week. I know he was busy and that they were filming at all times of the day, but if he had wanted to talk to me, he would have made time. Maybe it was time for us. Maybe it was time for something pure to end.

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Cole's POV:

I knew that Delia was having separation anxiety, but it was getting bad. I had thought about giving up my part so many times, but she had always urged me to keep it. She knew what it meant for me, and she didn't want to get in the way of something I was so proud of. She was more supportive than I ever dreamed, but now that the time had come, neither of us seemed to be able to pull away.

We stood in front of the airport security, not able to look away from each other. I couldn't seem to let go of her hand. I didn't want to. Her big green eyes stared up at me and I felt the lump form in the back of my throat. The silence seemed to get louder and the need to say something, anything, grew into a large bubble in the pit of my stomach. I opened my mouth to say something but no words left my lips. Instead my eyes locked onto hers as I felt a new cold piece of metal weigh into my hand that wasn't there before. Her small hand pulled away from mine. She looked away from my out of the corner of her eye. She wouldn't look at me anymore. My fingers clenched tightly around what I knew was the ring. I nodded slowly before looking towards the gate that was now filling with people. I didn't have a choice anymore. Our lives were starting to become conflicting. It was over at least for now, no matter how bad neither one of us wanted it to be.

Delia was everything to me, and she knew it. I knew she knew it, or she wouldn't have looked like she was on the verge of tears while I stepped even further to the large piece of metal that would take me away from her.

I slid my hand into my pocket a little bit later in the flight, the ring weighing just as heavy as my heart and the emotional wage of the flight itself. I looked at the small ring in the palm of my hand. If she was ring, this is what she would have looked like, felt like, but it didn't feel as alive. It felt cold and empty, like a promise that was miles away.

I put my hand in my pocket again, putting the ring away as I wiped the hot salt that was springing to my eyes. My fingers brushed against something light and folded. I pulled out a small piece of paper. Not a whole lot was written on it. It was written in her elegant cursive, each letter taken care of so thoroughly.

"Yeah. That is the number one thing that hadn't been included in the soundtrack that I really wish they had included. I feel kind of attacked right now," I whispered softly as Dylan gently reached for my elbow, his fingers grazing against my skin. There was soft signaling of lights, letting us know that we had about five minutes to get seated again. I followed after him slowly. It didn't take long for us to get back to our seats.  We sat there in silence with our glasses of wine before the lights dimmed again slowly. The theater fell quiet as the soft upbeat of "What'd I Miss" started up. Daveed Diggs slowly marched down the stairs in style, causing me to give an instant smile. I loved this cast so much that it almost hurt. They were all so amazing and I had grown to love every single one of them, from Leslie Odum Jr all the way down to Jasmine Cephas Jones. I felt Dylan's arm slide behind me again as we watched in silence this time. We were quiet until the Cabinet Battle came up.

Dylan was smirking down at me as he leaned down to whisper every line of Thomas Jefferson again my ear perfectly. I turned my head quickly as I whispered back up to him, delivering Alexander's lines back just as easily. We shared a soft laugh at the end of the song as Washington pulled Hamilton away.

"You know, we are very much like Jefferson and Hamilton. Cole is Washington by far, trying to stop our bullshit," he whispered down to me. I couldn't help but smile up at him before looking back at the stage. He was absolutely right.

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Dylan's POV:

She had her head on my shoulder and I couldn't help but to smile at that fact. I decided to rest my head on top of hers gently as Philip started rapping to his father, Eliza beat boxing in the background. Delia giggled quietly as she harmonized beautifully with the actor. Anthony Ramos, I think his name was. She knew more than I did. She loved this play with everything she had in her. Delia practically obsessed over it. I delicately took her small hand in mine and my first thought was how perfect this felt. She was dating my brother, but that didn't mean I couldn't dream. I dreamed for only a small moment until I felt the cold of the ring against her finger. I glanced down at our hands again, staring at the small line of diamonds with a fair sized one sitting in the middle. I gently pulled my hand away from hers before sliding my arm against the back of her chair.

The play continued on. I couldn't help but squirm during the Reynolds affair of Alexander Hamilton cheating on his wife. He supposedly loved her with everything he had, but for some reason he had cheated on her for practically a whole year. Then Eliza Hamilton started to sing 'Burn', the response to the affair. She was burning every letter her husband had sent her as a representation of their marriage. To Eliza it was over and I couldn't help but feel her emotions as Cole's. Something seemed to strike me. I could feel my chest tightening at the power of the song and the strain in her voice and the tears clearly rolling down the actress' cheeks. Something about it made me feel every type of horrid for any feelings I had for Delia. I had to control them and I decided right then and there that it was enough. They were happy, and I wasn't going to tear them apart like the Hamiltons. I couldn't imagine seeing my brother hurt as much as Eliza. He couldn't remove himself from the narrative, and I wouldn't let him. I pulled my arm from her chair and held my hands in my lap. I glanced down at Delia. There were soft tears rolling down her own cheeks as she held her hands against her chest. I held back every urge to wipe them from her soft skin. I looked back at the stage.

Philip Hamilton had died in a duel. He was laying on a table with Alexander holding him up slightly, Eliza leaning over him in complete chaotic sobs. The soft, small piano of the beginning of 'It's Quiet Uptown' began to play, Angelica's voice singing softly. Eliza quickly yanked her hand away from Alexander's, sending that regretting emotion through my chest. Eliza's hurt had made me grasp a concept so real and terrible. I blinked slowly, attempting to hold my back my own tears as Eliza seemed to grow more and more distant from Alexander. I couldn't imagine seeing Cole and Delia like that. I couldn't imagine Cole separating himself from her.

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Delia's POV:

The play had ended a few moments ago and my throat was coarse from the amount of screaming. I was left in tears over the whole thing. There was nothing quiet seeing it all in person. There wasn't quiet like experiencing everything they were feeling with your own eyes and own emotions.

Dylan and I seemed to just sit there as people around us had started to leave. I felt like I needed to collect my own emotions in the midst of all of this. It was wonderful and beautiful, but I felt like I had emotionally been beat half to death. We sat there not touching long after everyone in our section had left. We had the question and answer session after this, and frankly I didn't quite feel like I could handle it. Meeting and talking to them after this emotional awaking was going to be too much for me, but choosing to not meet them would be something I knew I would regret for the rest of my life. After a few more moments, Dylan turned his head to look at me.

"We don't have to stay for the after if you don't want," he whispered softly, knowing how fragile of a state I seemed to be left in. I slowly turned my head, my eyes meeting his. He was just as fragile as I was, and if either of us were going to do this, we had to do it together.

"No. We should do it," I whispered back quietly, finally finding it in my will to get up. Dylan stood up a moment after me, looking at his feet as he followed me out. There were only a few people that stood in the lobby. Dylan stood closely behind me as we watched for a few moments. Dylan was holding our two passes to get back into the auditorium, handing them off to the doorman who let us through.

I was glad to get to spend this time with Dylan, but I had really started to miss Cole seemingly out of nowhere. The last two days I felt like I had spent more time with Dylan than my own fiancé, and honestly, I didn't like that feeling. I glanced up at Dylan as we went and claimed our seats at the front. We sat in silence for a moment, still taking in the performance that we just saw. It was amazing and wonderful and I had absolutely loved it. It still didn't change how far away I felt from Cole at that moment. The one thing in the whole world that I wanted that was near impossible to get I had finally gotten and the only thing on my mind was Cole. What happened with Dylan had been an absolute mistake and we both knew it. We both held our hands in our lap as Lin Manuel himself came out onto the stage. I instantly felt a slight uplightening.

"We are actually going to have this another night, and it will be even more exclusive and we're going to throw in a meet and great for all of you in a private setting! I'm so sorry about this. If you will write your emails on the sheet of paper before you leave, we will get back to you," he said a little too enthusiastically. It was Lin after all. The guy had little to no chill. I felt my heart sink and then soar. I would get to actually meet them and touch them. I'd have to write letters or come up with something incredibly special. I clutched my playbill tighter as Dylan gently nudged my arm. I nodded slowly, not having realized that Lin had walked off the stage. I stood up quietly, following Dylan out of the auditorium. I soaked in the view of the place on last time as Dylan wrote what I was assuming was his email. I walked over to the merchandise table, looking over everything.

I instantly fell in love with one of the mugs, deciding that I wasn't going home without it. I'd buy something for Dylan and Cole, too, for everything they had done for me lately. There was a Hamilton blanket that I knew Dylan would love and a Ham4Ham shirt I knew Cole would wear. I bought them quickly, the woman pushing them into a bag with a soft smile. I was so concerned about Dylan walking up behind me that I was sure I had given her the most awkward smile. I managed to find another playbill as I made my way back to Dylan who was waiting for me at the door.

"You good?" he asked softly. I nodded slowly, not saying anything as we walked outside. The cab ride home was quiet and we ended up trying to not sit too close to each other. I didn't want things to be awkward between us when we got home. I glanced over at him in the dark lighting of the cab. I felt my cheeks grow a soft shade of red as I glanced down at the bag near my feet. I leaned down slowly, pulling out the blanket.

"I got something for you, you know. I wasn't going to let the night be completely dramatic and political," I teased softly. He looked at me quickly, his blue eyes practically lighting up.

"No way," he breathed, looking over the blanket I was now handing him. I laughed softly as he pulled the blanket to his face. He pulled himself to the middle seat, quickly wrapping his arms around me. We were good. We were okay. It was all going to be okay. It had passed and we could pretend like it never happened. I could go to sleep with ease. We stayed like this for awhile as the taxi drove through traffic.

The taxi pulled up in front of the simple town house. Dylan slid out of the cab after me as I walked up the front stairs. I pushed the door open to a dark house. I frowned softly assuming Cole had gone to bed. It was already past midnight. I pulled the end of my dress up slightly as I walked into the house. Dylan shut the door behind me, nodding slowly before going downstairs to his own domain. I walked up the stairs as quietly as I could before pushing the door open slightly, peering in. He was sitting at his computer in nothing but a pair of sweats.

I wanted to do nothing but touch him and love him and kiss him. I set the bag down in a corner, walking across the floor. I slid my hands over his shoulders and down his bare chest before burying my face in his neck. I couldn't stop myself from saying it.