Once upon what feels like a previous lifetime, I lived in New York City. Everything about it was super stupid, except my job/coworkers & good friends from past elsewheres who'd already moved there & others that visited, plus maybe some of the rare opportunities for birding I was able to do...but only sometimes.
Harry Nilsson // "I Guess the Lord Must Be in New York City," from Harry
I was completely stricken with guilt over hating it all as much as I did. Living in the so-called greatest city in the world (oh, it is so not), being hand-selected for a decent permanent position working with the tippy-top best players in a notoriously difficult field, at one of the most famous institutions, by the tender young age of 26.
Jens Lekman // "An Argument With Myself," from the EP of the same name
Fuck you—no, you fuck you!
You didn't come here for nothing, did you?
I know that's what you've been saying lately,
But let me draw attention to an Exhibit B...
But still, I left. If I didn't, I wouldn't be where I am today & where I have been since then. I don't know what other adventures that path would've held, & sometimes I do wonder, but I also have to appreciate what I've done instead.
Reading about Bethany Cosentino (of Best Coast)'s similar experience, listening to their and HAIM's music...helped remind me of the lifestyle and location(s) that I truly loved, & somewhat helped me make peace with my decision to let go of what seemed to be my most definitive career moment at the time (it was, but wasn't the biggest yet to come!).
HAIM // "Los Angeles," from Women in Music, Pt. III
Best Coast // "The Only Place," from the album of the same name
But hey, if you want to know what soundtrack did keep me relatively sane during that time, it was mainly...Ryan Adams, as much of his music, especially the album Gold, is essentially a love letter to living in the city.
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