thing

i hope the skin examination doesnt go suoer high on the legs cause those i cant pass off as tree scratches

i kind kf did it again tho its not super bad but they wojldnt bleed like what

im calmer now i think jts starting to work but rlly slowly but im still gonna take the supplements

thank god no one checks on this blog i dont want them freaking out

im so worried im gonna end ip writing on my main i keep checking lmao

so im gonna continue taking supplements and hopefully it stops real soon cause i have three tests this week

fun fact vitamin d deficiencycan make u feel depressed and i have been know to have low levels so that w the migraine and lack of hormones and lots kf stress was just a big load on me

and its so ridiculous too cause i know things that can help w depression and stuff but i dont apply them to myself like i couldve taken vitamin d and magnesium and b supplements but i didnt until last night

i mean i did want to donthat this time too but i kept thinking kf all the stuff i gotta do for nursing that that ended up distracting me from that and i ended up relapsing

idk if this time was worse than last or not like last time i didnt self harm but on the other hand i did rlly want to off myself and had a plan and stuff WHICH i guess i shouldnt share here but idk how do i tell ppl hey im having a bad week cause my hormones are gone and i really want to kill myself without them freaking out

lmao so good news i started back kn my pills bad news is it looks like it isnt kicking in yet

i kinda wish i lived without my mom cause then jtd be easier to do but on the other hand that means i could really mess up

i want to do it agakn dl badly but i cant so thats why j did it kn my upper thighd and its so red theyre not healing fast enough snd we are doing a skin assessment next week sl i hope they heal over by then and that i dont try again but my pills may nkt be ready until monday

uhh j guess self harm warning for the writing under this cause im about to go into detail a bit i guess i freaked out today so bad because i thought we were just gonns do mental health and cultural assessments but we had to do vitals and i had tried cuting my erist but its rlly tiny cuts that look accidental but theyre rlly noticeable and i had to take off my jacket so my lab partner saw it but i thknk she thinks theyre just scratches cause thehre thin but my scars frkm a long long time ago are still pretty visible on my wrist and i keep freaking out everytime people take my vitals because lf them

the benefit of the new pills is that im actually starting to lose weight while with the other ones i gained 20 pounds and could not lose kt no matter what

the good thing js we dknt have anything super sharp so what i didnt wasnt as bad as befkre

like last time i felt suicidal and this time its gettig close to that but im hoping i get tk the end of thr week without self harming again