"You are the Universe experiencing Itself"

Am I just super pathetic and couldn't stick to my guns? I'm leaning towards that I practiced some compassion and recognized that 5.5 years isn't worth throwing away without trying something, at least. So we try. He's been on late brews all week. I need space, that's my whole fucking thing. So this week was fine. But this weekend? And next week? Idk. All I want is silence from myself, and the space around me. He doesn't provide that. And he won't be satisfied with that. I know it. So it's the beginning of the end. I feel that, I think. He actually mentioned suicide. What the hell. He said his life didn't start until he met me. That isn't romantic. I hate that.

Am I just depressed and trying to isolate in a toxic way? My brain isn't working right? I don't know how to navigate the hallways of my own mind anymore.

Am I just super pathetic and couldn't stick to my guns? I'm leaning towards that I practiced some compassion and recognized that 5.5 years isn't worth throwing away without trying something, at least. So we try. He's been on late brews all week. I need space, that's my whole fucking thing. So this week was fine. But this weekend? And next week? Idk. All I want is silence from myself, and the space around me. He doesn't provide that. And he won't be satisfied with that. I know it. So it's the beginning of the end. I feel that, I think. He actually mentioned suicide. What the hell. He said his life didn't start until he met me. That isn't romantic. I hate that.

Am I just depressed and trying to isolate in a toxic way? My brain isn't working right? I don't know how to navigate the hallways of my own mind anymore.