9gods

Melian Refugee @escapefrommelos: “yeah uhhhh, we gotta Burn the Ships, we cant go back… just trust me on this” Classical history reference meets modern impulse.

Jonathan Harker thinks unseen servants cook his delicious meals at Draculas castle. Plot twist: Dracula was thanklessly cooking his own succulent meals. Reply: The new Nosferatu movie makes this joke even funnier. 173K likes. Dracula the ultimate hospitable monster.

“Did the name Odysseus already exist before the Odyssey?” “Or was Homer just like: This is my new book The Journey and our heros name… Journathan.”

The Greeks we imagined: classical marble busts, idealized, pale, serene. The Greeks we got: modern diverse casting. The marble lied to us.

Dept Of “What Empire you will be obsessed with” — ALL MEN 26-32 MUST REPORT. Clerk: “Obviously Im gonna get Rome.” “Yeahhhh. The Mongols.” “Woah. The Achaemenids? What.” Every man goes through his empire phase.

“If Homer was alive today he wouldve hated Nolans Odyssey.” “NO! Homer wouldve loved Nolans version!” Homer Simpson: 😐

Letterboxd review of The Odyssey (2026): “If we turn the music up louder, that means the scene will be good.” — Christopher Nolan 3 stars. 70mm. Regal Union Square. 9 likes. Nolan explaining his own filmmaking in real time.

Harry: “Pete, the Trojan war is a myth. Stop getting upset about historical accuracy.” Pete: “Harry you ignorant slut. Troy is a real Bronze Age city uncovered in 1871. We have solid evidence of Greek arrowheads and weapons at the digsite, along with evidence the city was burnt to the ground.” The Iliad and Odyssey are fictionalized tales of a real war. Not a myth.

New gigachad image just dropped. Franco Malosso was arrested in Vicenza for charging people 40 euros to visit an ancient Greek theater archaeological site… that he himself built 10 years ago. Absolute unit. Built a classical Greek theater from scratch, then got arrested for running it as a tourist attraction.

Penelope: “I didnt like the Odyssey at all.” Odysseus: “Why didnt you like it?” Penelope: “Because you were gone for 20 years, Odysseus, what do you mean why?”

NotTheBee: “Elon Musk says he would give Mel Gibson $100 million to make a historically accurate Odyssey film.” The timeline is getting out of hand.

Babylon Bee: “Odysseus Finally Returns Home After 20 Years And Oh No! Penelope Is Out Of Baking Powder And Needs Him To Run Out Again Real Quick” He fought cyclopses and sirens just to get sent back to the store.

Soldier: “Its a Trojan horse.” Trojan horse in this anime: giant cat-eared wooden mecha-girl. Seems legit.

“Watching the ODYSSEY the way Nolan intended.” On a CRT TV. The way the gods intended.

Trojan Horse strategy meeting. “Okay, now fill it with trannies and niggers.” StoneToss.

Trojan Horse strategy meeting. “Okay, now fill it with trannies and n***ers.” StoneToss doing what StoneToss does.

“RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but Im different. and better. maybe even better than the gods.” 70.9K likes. The ancient Greeks warned us about this exact energy.