BSM,

Don’t teach me how to say goodbye.

When will we meet? When will I finally kiss you? I’ve been dying to kiss you for so long. How can I know when it will happen? When can I know when it will happen?

I need the answers to all of these questions. I’m hoping to know them very soon...”

It hurts. Not knowing when we’re finally gonna bloom our lavender together. It hurts so much.

It hurts not having a way to make it bloom faster.

Our future holds such a messy road. With a lot of bumps on the way. We just want to get to the final destination...

I know all of these challenges have their purpose. They make us stronger and bigger. But it’s so frustrating that we have to go through all of this.

We are young. We are glowing. And I want to be able to glow next to you, before the glow fades away. Before the world gets too cruel and dark.

I want you to paint my days blue. Not because it’s a sad color, but because it’s your favorite one.

Cliché phrases never sounded so good. But I want you. I need you. So much.

And everytime I look someone in the eyes they’ll know my pain. They’ll know I miss you. And they’ll know I’m in love and there’s nothing that can be done.

I forgive.

I just wish

You could dream

On my chest,

While my hands touch your face

And I watch you sleep.

The night I finally do it

I’ll be the happiest love giver of all time.”

It’s beautiful. Like you. Like you and me.

The day I’ll first lay my eyes on you I’ll be completely healed.

Life is tough, but I’m tougher. Lavender will keep growing throughout this cold winter. I’ll keep July in my heart and I’ll keep blooming for you.”

Hopeless.

Whatever I do.

I feel like there’s always something missing.

And I can’t enjoy myself to the fullest because there’s a hole in my heart that needs to be filled.

It’s called ‘saudade’.

The strongest feeling a human can hold.

The most painful but the most beautiful one too.

And I really miss you.

You’re part of me.

Part of my world.

Part of my body, soul and sweat.

I need you here with me.

Come home, stay and never leave me.

Please.”

Tomorrow.

I’m impatient...

But lavenders grow and bloom.

With patience.

My body is filled with lavender fields waiting to be watered. But still growing everyday towards the sun. Waiting for July to bloom.

With proper care, lavender will survive for years. In our garden.”