doomsday

because of the examples of my father and grandfather, i am almost 20 years old and have never been able to let any man get close to me ever. never been in a relationship with a man and still find myself surprised when men show affection or try to physically hold me in a caring and protective way. it is so unfair that so many young girls grow up to be this way from being conditioned by something that they have no control over - other people's actions. it is unfair that we miss out on so many good experiences in love because of trauma and trust issues. seeing my mother go through what she went through made me decide: it's better to never give yourself to someone, than to do so and see yourself stuck for years in a bad situation. so that's what i did.