i have an insanely good massage therapist- it is less about relaxing and more about the body work. anyways, the right side of my neck triggers this instinctual desire to think about all the shit I have to do, incredibly task oriented/not fun. Left side is super loose in comparison and I can be fully present. At one point it literally felt like being in two divided bodies at the same time, and I was weird and imbalanced. Anyways, this whole physical health shit is so fun. I’m learning a lot about myself

call me superstitious but i just had my first encounter with an artifact that I love but, somehow has a bad feeling attached to it. it’s been a few days and my house feels off, I got sick, I’m on the verge of tears for some personal reasons. I’m gonna put it outside haha

health insurance got denied today but they’re wrong so hopefully it’ll work itself out. I feel weak from the lack of support I feel in general, even though the people in my life are kind and generous, doesn’t feel like there’s enough to go around.

eye keeps twitching and not sure exactly what i’m stressed out about. It’s probably money though.

i think it’s lame that one of the things i crave most is having stability, but it is so important for me to feel safe. spontaneity is always good for me but also feels forced, and for me to really have faith and trust in myself i need to know that I have a stable home, and will not be left out in the cold. Just feeling like I can rely on that gives me way more opportunity to take risks and express myself.

getting nightmares about not texting people back cuz i’m too pure but also way too tired and broke to be making plans. I need to be reevaluating.

crazy that it’s common knowledge amongst my friends that donating plasma is a good solution for being completely broke. having no money is lonely, you can’t go most places or do much. i’m sad and discouraged haha