aggressive aggressive

please learn about serophobia 

please learn about how the “LGBT community” really came together as a form of protection, and as a last ditch effort for family, when a lot of our families had left our elders to die because of their gayness, transness, and HIV/AIDS status 

Like piss off taking things from PoC dealing with racism to mock people whenever you feel like it for any crappy reason, including PoC, including nd PoC who are telling you to stop your ableist bullshit.

And like this mess had dip whom many many of the anti-ace/aro crowd supported harassing people into breakdowns, who would then accuse these people of being manipulative and/or make fun of them for it, and her many (often white) supporters would join in or loudly condone it, I pretty clearly remember that. So when you say “it’s just mocking people who’re being manipulative and faking and who deserve being mocked”, excuse me for not believing you all are the best judges of that. That you don’t care about the many nd ppl and good number of nd PoC who are telling you they’re being hurt by this, when ppl are using it for crapcourse overall and stuff that’s definitely not calling out racism, is already telling.

#lmao

#stop using herefortheace as your token black ace person

Holy shit holy shit, would you all stop trying to remove my agency and turn me into a “token” because you don’t like me, this is nasty and people used to do it all the time when I first got involved in this mess (to other PoC too) but I thought it had gotten a little less blatant. The fact that I exist and have opinions you don’t like does not make me a “token”. The fact that people give a shit about my existence and opinions and reblog my posts also is not “tokenizing” how nasty can you get. I’m a person like everyone else whose posts get reblogged?? Like wtf even

And I’m not the only black ace(/aro !) by far, and also very much not the only (nd) PoC or only black person upset by this crap either, like holy shit. Reblogging from me and boosting my voice is not tokenizing me. If I see someone actually tokenizing me I will make it very clear that that shit does not fly, but this is crappy and bizarre.

Tokenizing would be if for example a white person told a PoC/black person, “well this other PoC/black person thinks I get to do x and that it doesn’t make me racist, so your opinion on racism/antiblackness here doesn’t matter lol”. Or if they went, “well other PoC have said aces and aros are all very white and racist so if you as an ace/aro PoC are upset about me as a white person saying it and think it’s harmful and racist, I don’t care.”

That is tokenizing. Not people reblogging from someone you don’t like. No, not even if that person’s posts get more notes than you want them to have.

Omg. Also like…

#Making fun of cry typing isn’t a Black people exclusive thing like aave is

Where have I said that? It’s not my fault you’re twisting my words while treating me like shit. I said white people don’t get to defend their crytyping “jokes” (that have nothing to do with calling out racism, and often are just mocking people) on the basis that they have originally been used by PoC to call out racism. Particularly when you have nd PoC saying they’re being harmed. It’s not, at all, a good “argument” for why these white ppl are not being ableist and it’s in fact pretty damn racist for them to claim that considering they’re speaking over PoC who say they’re upset and/or being hurt while using us as shields. They’re saying they took the “jokes” from PoC so now they’re above criticism. (I’ve also nowhere said being manipulative is anywhere within the realm of okay, again, you’re missing my point.)

calling out white people/non-black people for using you to continue calling people ableist/racist for making fun of manipulative tactics like crytyping isn’t treating YOU like shit. 

Anyway....

Crytyping isn’t just used when some racist white person is trying to silence people calling out their racism. It’s a silencing tactic in general. It’s not the same as typos or typing out things while stressed/panicking. That’s where all of y’all are getting shit twisted. Crytyping is pretty much written sobbing. It’s for the drama of it all. Defending it is unnecessary.

Toronto Police is now demanding the city pull all funding to Pride ($260,000 worth) until Pride becomes “inclusive” again. 

Like piss off taking things from PoC dealing with racism to mock people whenever you feel like it for any crappy reason, including PoC, including nd PoC who are telling you to stop your ableist bullshit.

And like this mess had dip whom many many of the anti-ace/aro crowd supported harassing people into breakdowns, who would then accuse these people of being manipulative and/or make fun of them for it, and her many (often white) supporters would join in or loudly condone it, I pretty clearly remember that. So when you say “it’s just mocking people who’re being manipulative and faking and who deserve being mocked”, excuse me for not believing you all are the best judges of that. That you don’t care about the many nd ppl and good number of nd PoC who are telling you they’re being hurt by this, when ppl are using it for crapcourse overall and stuff that’s definitely not calling out racism, is already telling.

 because you don’t know the dating history of every single bi girl on the planet, so you’re making ugly generalizations about a group of women who have, throughout our history, stood by our side and who face struggles similar to ours. like yes, men are fucking awful, and as lesbians we face horrible and often violent lesbophobia from men, but that isn’t on bi girls, it’s not their responsibility and it’s not their fault, and to write off other wlw simply because of their ***potential*** past or future choice of partners (again, you don’t know fuck all about who bi women are dating, who they will date, whether they have a preference for men or women, etc, and even if you did, it doesn’t fucking matter) is ugly and biphobic and yes it does contribute to the specific struggles bi women face, like higher rates of intimate partner violence. writing bi girls off as people who are just susceptible to men’s violence by virtue of being attracted to them and blaming them for whatever happens to them due to this is victim blaming and ugly, and we need to fucking do better than this. 

typifying lesbians as mean and aggressive is an age-old, overdone lesbophobic cliche. you don’t get to perpetuate that just because you’re bi or just because you’ve suffered some interpersonal hurt. most lesbians are warm and loving and welcoming people and lesbians who are angry and frustrated and cynical are usually justifiably so. lesbians who are angry aren’t undeserving of your love or solidarity or respect, especially because as bi girls who are angry, we ask for that same love, solidarity, and respect. you can’t get solidarity if you don’t reach out and reciprocate, lol. 

we can’t use the d slur. even if we’re called the d slur, that slur emerged directly as a result of lesbophobia and its primary target is lesbians. the slur punishes lesbians not just for being attracted to women but also for being attracted to ONLY women - that is, society is punishing lesbians for exclusively wanting women. mga wlw are punished differently because they are women attracted to women but not exclusively attracted to women. again, there is overlap between our marginalization, but in this specific case, lesbians are marginalized for only loving women. if you can understand that, then you should understand why lesbians rightfully don’t want anyone who isn’t a lesbian to use the d slur.

calling lesbians predatory is nothing short of lesbophobic. saying that they are less radical or that they’re gross for exclusively liking women is disgusting. we are not “more” radical for being mga wlw and they are not predatory for only loving women. for god’s sake. there is nothing predatory about being a woman who loves women. there is nothing predatory about being a lesbian. 

anyone who’s going to say that i wrote this post because of “internalized biphobia” is hilariously and predictably missing the point. here’s the thing. we ask lesbians not to enact hurt against us because of interpersonal experiences - and i absolutely agree with that. we ask lesbians not to lump us in with our oppressors (straight people) and we ask them not to blame us for hurt or oppression and we ask them not to stereotype us as greedy or annoying or obnoxious. and that’s absolutely justifiable. but that also means that you cannot simultaneously lambast biphobic lesbians for 1) lumping us in with straight people and thus rejecting potential platonic/romantic relationships with us, 2) using terms that hurt us, and 3) stereotyping us and grouping us under a monolith WHILE ALSO being lesbophobic yourself. you don’t want them to lump us in with straight people - which is correct! so don’t lump lesbians in with straight people by crying about “monosexism” or saying that lesbians are “inherently” more biphobic than straight people or saying that lesbians are “responsible” for bi erasure/biphobia. you don’t want them to stereotype us as adulterous or claim that we’re half-baked heterosexuals - which is again, absolutely correct! but think about it! by claiming that lesbians are predatory for only liking women, you are doing the exact same thing that biphobic lesbians do! bi women are fetishized - SO ARE LESBIANS (in fact tumblr and instagram have flagged or currently flag the lesbian tags as nsfw while they don’t do that with the gay, trans, bi, or q***r tags). both lesbians and bi women are seen as porn categories and as respective “challenges” for straight men to overcome vs. respective “monsters” for straight women to avoid. so don’t do the same shit straight women do to all of us by calling lesbians predatory. bi women are stereotyped as greedy and predatory - SO ARE LESBIANS. both bi women and lesbians are told that they have the “male gaze” for liking women. so why the fuck would you tell a lesbian that she’s predatory for only liking women when 1) you also like women and 2) you’re also told that you’re predatory? don’t you understand how much pain you’re causing? and look, when biphobic lesbians claim that bisexuals are “less radical” for having the capacity to be attracted to men, lesbophobic bisexuals who claim that lesbians are “limiting themselves” because they only like women are using the SAME shitty logic. we are NOT more or less radical than each other. we exist in the same space as women who love women and who share similar yet different experiences - similar because we are sga, different in how we manifest that. so when you’re being lesbophobic, you’re using the same shitty circular logic that you try and argue against (in the context of biphobia). don’t expect respect and nuance when you aren’t willing to extend it, lmao.