It became a goal of mine to go to more concerts because I never attend them

People hit me up to check out concerts with them and I go to support. It turns out super fun. But when I ask for the same, I don’t get the same response.

Unfortunately, all of my close friends just don’t really listen to my favorite artists like that

A bunch of my favorite artists are coming to Chicago but I have no one to for sure go with and I’m too anxious to go by myself

Just a lot of “maybes” and “nos” cuz none of them really listens to them

Its no ones fault and it is what it is but it still makes me really sad and feels a bit lonely. It sucks to miss out cuz who knows when those artists will be back in Chicago.

I can totally understand the money aspect too. Why pay for an artist whose music you don’t even know?

There’s so many times when I feel so connected with others through music but there’s just as many times that I don’t feel like anyone relates to me.

Hopefully I can find people to really connect with over my favorite artist. One day.

Last year, I was independent. Was in a long term relationship. Had a decent paying job. Had more of a direction.

Me and my ex had a plan for the future. I was starting to begin saving up for a ring.

But all of that is gone now. Relationship is no more, I had to move back home with my parents, and I recently got laid off.

I’m lost more than ever. I feel like giving up so often. Loss upon more loss this past year.

Now more than ever I crave comfort but I can’t keep relying on others anymore. I know I have to learn to be okay by myself and learn to love myself. But its so fucking hard when I spent my whole life depending on others for my happiness.

I’m struggling so much. I feel so lonely. Everyone I’m close with are coupled up and have their own lives. Times like this where I need someone, I truly am not able to be with them cuz I’ll be a burden.

I’m too different and at such a different stage of my life from my friends. No one is interested in the same things I want to do. I just want someone similar to me. But I know that’s just what I want but not what I need. At that point I’d be relying on someone else again instead of being ok by myself.

This shit sucks. Idk how to live for myself. I know what I should be doing but its so hard to.

I have so many things I want in life. I want my life partner. I wanna be married and have kids. But I’m so fucked up in the head, I don’t think I’ll ever be datable again. I’m too broken for anyone to love me. I’m too broken to love someone else they way they want/need.

We had a routine and yearly traditions

I’ve been drinking, smoking and have gotten addicted to drugs I never thought I’d never do.

I’ve been spending way too much money as well

I checked my balance today and it genuinely shocked me. I’m actually fucking scared for myself. Like this is so fucked up. I moved back home so I’m not paying rent anymore and I’m making more money than I’ve ever been my whole life.

Yet I managed to completely tank my balance. I haven’t seen it this low in years. Like wtf, I had a lot more chilling in my account when I was paying for rent. It hasn’t been this low since undergrad, like wtf am I doing right now.

How could I let this happen…..

How did I let my myself deteriorate so much mentally and physically