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To loosen the noose that hung from my neck

To delete the words I didn’t say

To shuffle the cards left in my deck

If you could have met me in the middle

I would have crawled into the remaining parts of my being

If you could have seen me as human

Not just a secure spot to land

When life got out of hand

But you didn’t want equality with me

You wanted to keep me yours

Just to see

How much I could take

When the bond began to break

So now we drink our coffee alone

superficial

a spectacle of nothing

chaos is my middle name

i have lived in the shadows

with nothing much to claim

i have flown thru the gallows

cloak all aflame

i have heard things with my token

that would make you go insane

i have seen things left unspoken

That’s how the cookie crumbles

When the shoe drops

No rest for the wicked

Tied up in silly games

No sleep for a man child

The sweetness of new love

Surrounds me in the quiet deep

Fear is not a big enough word

To describe this bittersweet feeling

Pain in love is inevitable

on top of this mountain

my mother taught me to

learn

all of the things i

couldn’t comprehend

words twisted up

in the palm

of a man’s

hand

and i was born to love

as i walk this land

my father showed me

the way

how to plant

grifter sand

discern

from the lesson

alone on the beach

a lifetime of nothing

at last i

Starts with me.

My dreams fade

Into the nothingness

Of something wise

Conscience thoughts

Fade into the long lost blue

Still tangled in the web

But not of you

Is this secure

My love ebbing

From what's true

Lips lift into demure

Half moon

On a stoic canvas

My gigantic love

Pushing and pulling

Taking your sleep

Stealing your breaths

Making you weep

Do you dream of running

Or stringing along

A million tiny deaths

Follow you around

Choking on your forever

Tears forming galaxies

I will walk

Barefoot and naked

In forests where bears stalk

I will climb

Reckless with abandon

Across mountains of time

I will swim

Cautious and gentle

In the ocean of our mind

I will tumble

With grace and grim