7khameleons

I am grateful for my life, thus far that God blessed me with. I have dreams of doing what He wants for me to do in life. Although I'm not confused, just have a lot on my heart that I want to accomplish for Him, I get frustrated for good reasons. I want to sacrifice things that do not benefit my life especially my flesh moreso so I can disciple properly and not miss my mark with the Lord.

I pray that whatever God has placed on my heart is fulfilled, as I continue to seek Him and obey Him. I do not want to fail but if I do, may God create and already have contingency plans set for me.

I plan to be completely selfless in 2026 and the only thing that will make me seem like I am not being selfless is being a college student and attending class and making sure I'm passing my classes. Beyond that personal part of me, I just want to stop falling short and grieving the Holy Spirit, although I repent, I just want to cut out all distractions that do not serve Him nor others, for His sake.

I just pray that whatever is on my mind, if fulfilled, in Jesus' name and I count on God to be there for me every step of the way, like He promised. I just need to serve, and I want to fulfill my gift, and not abuse it, nor misuse it, but use it to its fullest extent, for the glory of God.

I know what I'm saying is vague, because I want to protect much of what I'm doing because the enemy is roaming, but once everything is set in stone and God tells me to announce, then it'll be announced. But God knows what He placed on my heart and what shall be and will not be. But I trust in Him.

again, soon I'll be 34 in 8 days. I'm proud of my walk and grateful of the God I serve, who loves me unfailingly, but social media will not be the death of me nor will it control my narrative. God is sufficient and y'all will hear about Jesus more from me. I'm DONE watering myself down and not being bold.

You will hear the Gospel and the Good News from me more. I've been quiet lately, but I wasn't born to be quiet, I was born to speak words given to me by a great Master. "until all have heard" like Pastor Phillip Anthony Mitchell says.

I didn’t and still won’t do research on Charlie Kirk and I also won’t double back on who I unfriended, unfollowed or once supported and do so now.

All I know is yes. He DID say hurtful words.

Yes. He was fascist, bigot, racist etc. as they say he was (again I didn’t do deep research nor do I want to because I don’t feel like being triggered)

But what I will NOT do is cheer on death…

That’s… inhumane. That was real life NOT CGI movie effects.

good evening everyone! it's been a minute since I've even been on tumblr. ever since my last blog from may 27th, 2025, I've been literally in the trenches with my spirit, my soul... i put my whole entire life on the line. I'm going to catch you guys up.

i forget what day but if anyone known me, I actually ALWAYS been scared to get baptized. I've had a fear as if Jesus was Santa and he would put me on the "Naughty List" and regardless if I got baptized or not, I would still go to hell or something even close to that. but I learned it was the fear of Satan, in my head, trying to get me to avoid baptism altogether. one day, I was praying and the Holy Spirit made me get on my knees and I repented the hardest I ever have in my 33 years of life and I told God the following Sunday I would approach the altar to be baptized to join my mother's church.

fast forward to july 20th, 2025, I was officially baptized and gave my life to Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. I guess this is the best way for me to tell the world publicly who don't know me face-to-face but I have finally received the Holy Spirit, the Helper, Jesus left to assist us until His return. typin' about this has me excited because this past week was bittersweet and I for sure had to deny myself everyday BUT I'm happy I'm in the position God has put me in because I am all for His Will! Not mine! I've been growing to NOT be lazy, bite my tongue, control my anger, pray against thoughts/tempatations and listen to the Holy Spirit's commands/advice/lessons/revelations/etc.

also last weekend, august 2nd, 2025, I raised $210 and fed 40 needy people (13 of the individuals were kids). weeks before I was saved, I thought God couldn't hear me although His conversations with me were always short and just straightforward (like yes' or no's, or just one worded answers, or just silence altogether) BUT I constantly asked for my purpose and assumed I'm supposed to be uncomfortable with His Will (because again, His Will is never ours; He's God and we are mortal, human beings) so he has just confirmed my gift of giving and helping the needy/less fortunate/homeless. trust me, I begged and prayed God to reveal it to me because after I stopped working august 1st, 2025, to prepare to attend college for cybersecurity, I verbally put these words into the atmosphere: "I'm a full-time servant of God." and ever since, God really been showing Himself in my life.

according to Romans 12:7, Isaiah 58:7, and Proverbs 22:9 (more Scriptures though but these are spot on) tell us what our mission on earth is to complete before Jesus' return. as we do this, we also are to create disciples. we are to allow Jesus Christ to renew, restore and refresh our lives IN Him! so since I have spoke those words over my life, my life has been changed to fear God more than I ever have before. I feel deep joy in helping someone, not only because I do not expect it to me, but because I've been blessed to a certain level in life and yes, multiple times in my past I WAS A PURE FOOL and spoke down on the needy/less fortunate and refused to help them, but since my heart has been renewed, restored and refreshed, I've been wanting to fulfill God's Will because it not only what He wants, but His Will is becoming mine as well!

I crave His word (the Holy Bible), I live on His daily bread, I'm learning how to fast properly and get closer to the Lord and everyday isn't perfect (it shouldn't and won't be) but God knows the new heart He has created in me and I am praying I get to fight the fear of speaking, praying, giving and sharing the Gospel/Good News to everyone who needs to hear it. again, it's clear, Jesus' return is near but I'm not taking advantage of the time we have left because I treat my faith in a precious manner as God grants me more days of life. He doesn't have to, but He wants to and does it because He sees me and that I actually have purpose and His Will is my purpose at the moment, so I'm going to try to fulfill it as best as I can. I don't want to fail my Father and I know He knows I won't since I'm so locked onto what needs to be done, for Him. I've denied my will to be done (beyond going to college) just whatever has to happen between now and going to school and the unknown future, God is by my side and that's all my focus is on. God, my ministry and school (but moreso God) I will never be too busy for Him.

getting deeper in my Word, I've been wanting to discover the mysteries of God and I'm allowing God to use me as a vessel to do His Will so I can have everlasting life with Him in Heaven.

my current mission: again, to SERVE God's people and PLANT SEEDS for them to be brought to Jesus Christ so they also abide, confide and reside in the body of Christ. I am not saving souls, but He is and Jesus ain't never had a Closed sign up.. He is always Open for new souls to be saved by His blood.

quick testimony then I'm gone until next blog:

So our Father just showed Himself to me I was telling myself I was going to clean my house today (which I did) but I was just thinking in my head, what’s my next mission? So, I ended up at Walmart getting a new trashcan and some trash bags and a man walked up to me asking for help (he stated he was homeless). He said he needed food and soap for his kids, and they were with him so I know he wasn't lying. I ended up buying them some shirts, a stroller and shoes for the son & I prayed over him at his car and another black man overheard me praying and gave him $20. I was scared to pray but I did anyways and now I know God has stamped my gift to go. I’m grateful and I will stay in contact with him to try to help him and his kids as best as I can.

another update about the guy I ran into, I might've found him a place to stay but he has to get the contact info to get the shelter for him and his children. I pray everything fall through for him possibly by Monday so Jesus can save him soon. I know God works in mysterious ways and it's not even about me but I'm just here providing resources.

stay blessed! Matthew 3:2

peace, love.

I’m sorry for everything I’ve done in my life.

This walk has been hard and I’m not gonna give up. I’ve been called “strong” all my life and I know that I am but being strong hurts. Sometimes I want to be weak and rest and I know You’ll be there to hold me, console me and carry me but I am legitimately tired.

How I see myself I’m a well rounded person who does a lot for others and expect something back not even if it is big but at least something will do. And I know that’s wrong but the gesture is what I expect, not something in specific. I know everything I do from my heart shouldn’t require anything in return but I just feel like I give so much and get nothing in return. Even intangible, people have spit in my face, multiple times. But how do I deal with this so it isn’t happening all the time? How do I handle dealing with people using me up with an empty “thank you?” Treating me like crap?

This weekend my energy has been sucked out of me by opposing forces who do not love or respect Your position in my life. Prayer works, anointing works but I need my full peace back. Monitoring spirits are real and I don’t want them around or in me. I love everybody but I just wish people find the love you give me and accept You so we can all be on one accord. They’re missing out from Your goodness.

This experience only shows me that I can help save souls but everyone won’t want to be saved. I can’t force a horse to drink water. I can only force and make myself want to accept Your love. But again I’ve tried but the remarks and actions against who You are in my life will never suffice. I will not allow someone to deny Your place in my heart and I will not continue to try to save someone from You departing them from You. I know it’s not my place but again everyone just can’t be saved. The towel has been thrown in.

As much as I try my best to do good I feel like I’m not doing enough. I know that You might be looking at me like I’m doing too much for the goodness but I am going to step back and let God work. Do you, God. That’s all that matters. I just need my space back. Demonic, evil forces will never be welcome near or around me; I bind them and rebuke them in the holy name of Jesus and also discernment is always at an all time high and I pray everyday the Holy Spirit shows me who is for and against me and keep me away from who is not for me.

4/3 I posted on facebook that I seen Jesus that day. during my fast (which I need to do better at) but I was praying deeply on an off day and I seen a silhouette of Jesus like a film camera reel as my eyes were closed and my body was slightly warm and I cried even harder.

feeling his presence as it was my first time completing my first fast, I was very fulfilled by His presence. knowing I been slipping certain days from reading my Bible/scripture, worship and meditation... I am slowly getting back on track. one thing I definitely know I will not mess up is the blessing of being able to work and the job God blessed me with after a 7-month drought of not working. I personally cut myself off from people who were not for me, stopped doing things I am not supposed to do and mainly everyday I go into work, I am purposely allowing the Holy Spirit to work on my heart while I work on the clock.

as I've been feeling fulfilled, recently my mental health has been declining and also challenging demonic forces to "bring it on" wasn't the smart thing to do because they went hard this weekend. fed me everything against God that's not in the Holy Bible BUT I continued to pray and I KNOW I'm back and I'm better, in Jesus' name!

exclaimer: never say you're ready for whatever as a "baby Christian"

but since all that has happened and I'm back at square one mentally, all I know is that, prayer is real. worship helps tremendously. and fallin' asleep to worship music keep nightmares from happening. it's like sleep anointing on the mind.

I think since I've been so hard on myself lately, I believe I finally heard God speak to me. It wasn't necessarily a voice but I had to be silent after praying and repenting. and I heard two topics to study (didn't get to the second today because I need to blog about this experience). the two topics were: forgiveness and arrogance. I sat a bit longer thinking I would get a 3rd topic from God but obviously not because I sat there for about 2 more minutes and I think maybe He didn't want to overwhelm me but this is what I need to focus on at the moment.

so I just finished watching a video about forgiveness online because I sinned this morning and was a bit angry about myself and I'm all about holding myself accountable. because I been trying my hardest y'all. ANYWAYS... I watched the video and the message in the video was not only to be forgiving but mostly to forgive myself. I'm the #1 person you'd hear say "I'm proud I don't look like what I been through," because I really been through some stuff where I feel like my life SHOULD be a Lifetime Movie, lol, but point is. I been SO hard on myself where not only through learning the Gospel, I've been so hardcore and the anger I've built for the people who did Jesus wrong has somehow, someway shaped into a form of arrogance that I cannot explain. I just really have smoke for people. but although this is a topic God told me to study on, I know I also have to drop not only the action of being arrogant with whatever it may be but the forgiving MYSELF before I forgive others been on my heart...

two weeks ago I got a library card and got a book to read about forgiveness, not only about forgiveness in the Bible but just in a general sense. and I can say all day I forgive people, which I feel like I do but it's moreso me. another message in this video, he said per MY notes, "I don't have to show my wounds, only my scars. scars show HOPE and what wounded me doesn't have to hold me FOREVER!" which makes perfect sense. I can let go of any and everything I've been through and not allow it to hold me back in the future.

sidenote: John 20:24-27 speaks on Thomas honestly questioning yet also doubting Jesus' wounds and Jesus pulls up with the door locked granting her permission to check for himself. Thomas wanted to see with his own eyes since he was never present during Jesus' crucifixion. this time he was there.

I can let go of what wounded me to BE FREE to survive in the future God has intended for me. I just don't have to pretend IT NEVER HAPPENED. THIS IS NOT DENIAL. the devil has the hammer but he doesn't have the nails. this is not his story to narrate. it's the self-inflicted wounds I must let go of no matter how much they mold me into I am.

so therefore, today I conclude that i must forgive MYSELF and have the faith to BELIEVE where that hurt happened is where my healing WILL take place. God will release strength in my life from the place where the hurt occurred!

good evening to anyone who sees this. I made a new tumblr and don't want to go back to my old one because I told myself that I would disassociate from social media. I don't have Facebook or Twitter/X app on my phone although I'm blogging from my PC BUT... I am in a season of accountability of my spiritual and mental health. I received a spirit of this name Khameleon to change to because I don't want to go by BeautifullTrise and before that name, I went by TriseTheBeast... I'm 33 and suffered a lot of painful things in the past and these names do not represent who I want to be--- just probably who I thought I was. I'm not getting any younger so I'm holding myself accountable to keep this blog up to show MYSELF only that I can come here and share my thoughts with no judgement due to the path I set forth on in August 2024... my journey towards God.

the name "Khameleon" or chameleons TO ME represent change and adaptation. Chameleons according to Google represent transformation, balance and clairvoyance. Chameleons in the Holy Bible represent a renewal through the power and guidance of God's Spirit and Word. I heard someone either in a song or a stream on Twitch (I forget which one) mentioned "chameleons" or some word that rhymes with it and since that day it has stuck with me and I didn't want to forget it.

as far as my mental health, I'm on a rollercoaster but the only thing that is keeping me together is myself either blogging or doing bible study. I've spent years venting and spazzing online as if others would help me. the conclusion I've come to: NOBODY IS GOING TO HELP ME LIKE GOD HAS ALL MY LIFE. I've spent years being a people pleaser when I wasn't pleasing myself nor God. so this year it is about me and God. it's weird I ever typed it like that. i'm not at war with Him; just the enemy because I know where I want to be on a day-to-day basis and I know where I want to be when I leave this earth..... Heaven.

so I pray that this journey while I'm blogging online, I leave this blog to my daughter (who is 10 btw) so she can look back at this and know that Mommy made the best decision of her life... to give it to God and I want to document what I'm learning and what signs, messages and blessings God has given me to bless not only me and her. too bad I'm a crybaby. I just cried writing those last few sentences. but it's rather out than in.

that being said, welcome to my world. I'm Khameleon. I might not show my face, but if I do, I won't show it all. I just want to pour my heart out, find my purpose in life and make God, Jesus, the angels and my daughter happy.

I'll be back. this was just an intro.

love & serenity.