the air in studio A is always thick enough to chew, thick with the scent of polished wood and sweat. you stand at one end of the big room, your reflection a ghost in the massive wall of mirrors. across the shining floor, daniela avanzini moves into her final part. every step is sharp and careful, like everything depends on it. her form is flawless. she finishes, chest rising and falling in a single, controlled breath, and turns to face the front. her dark eyes find yours in the mirror, and for a second, it feels like a physical blow.
the instructor claps. "good. that's the evaluation for this month. the rankings will be posted tomorrow noon."
a collective sigh sweeps through the other trainees. they pack their bags, relief and anxiety warring on their faces. but you don't move. neither does daniela. the two of you remain, statues frozen at opposite ends of the studio, your reflections locked in a silent standoff. this was your month. you could feel it in your bones, in the fluidity of your own movements, the way the music had poured through you. but watching her⊠you can never be sure.
"she was too sharp today. lacked soul." a girl whispers on her way out, not quiet enough. she was talking about daniela, and for some reason it kind of upset you.
"better than sloppy and emotional," her friend hisses back. figures. whenever someone brings up daniela, your name is never far behind. where thereâs daniela, thereâs you.
you block it out. you grab your water bottle, the plastic crinkling in your grip, and head for the door. as you pass her, you catch the faintest scent of her coconut shampoo. she doesnât look at you. not directly. but her gaze follows your reflection until youâre gone. the competition between you feels almost alive, a low hum that fills the quiet spaces of the academy. one month, your name is in the number one spot, then the next, it was hers. you hated it. you hated her. or you told yourself you did.
the next day, the ranking hall is a circus. trainees crowd around the giant screen, their faces illuminated by the scrolling list of names and scores. you force yourself to breathe, your painted pink nails digging into your palm. you donât need to look for your name. you always start at the top.
number one: avanzini, daniela.
a shock, cold and sharp, goes through you. your eyes dart down the list, frantic, until you find it.
number two: l/n, y/n.
a gasp from the crowd. they turn to look at you. you keep your face neutral, a practiced smile plastered on your lips. you feel her gaze before you see her. sheâs standing on the other side of the hall, her expression unreadable, but then, it always is. you roll your eyes, hard, but it doesnât make her look away. if anything, it seems to fuel the fire in her gaze. every step you take, you feel it, pure, burning hatred, sharp enough to leave a mark. itâs the kind of hate thatâs been growing for months, layered over rivalry, over jealousy, over every time she got the win you thought was yours. you grit your teeth, forcing yourself to keep moving, but her stare lingers, and you know this month, neither of you will back down.
-
that night, you find your way to the private studio. it's your sanctuary when the pressure becomes too much. the lights are dimmer here, the air softer. you press play on your phone, connecting it to the speaker. a slow, melancholic melody fills the space. you donât think about technique. you donât think about scores. you just dance. you let the music pull at you, twisting your body into shapes of sorrow and longing. you pour all your frustration into your movements, making them sharper, more aggressive than the music calls for.
the door creaks open.
you freeze, your body mid-turn. daniela stands in the doorway, a silhouette against the bright hallway. she doesn't say anything. she just watches. you expect her to leave, to give you a look of disdain for your 'sloppy emotionalism.' instead, she steps inside, closing the door softly behind her, plunging the room back into its dim intimacy.
"the pathos is good," she says, her voice low and surprisingly gentle. "but your shoulder placement is off in the fourth rotation. you're losing your line."
your first instinct is to snarl something back. to tell her to leave. but you're too tired for a fight. you shrug, turning back to the mirror. "it's how i feel it."
"it's wrong." she walks toward you, her movements silent and fluid. she stops beside you, so close you can feel the warmth radiating from her skin. she doesn't look at you, only at your reflection. "again. from the top."
apprehension claws at you. this is your space. but something in her tone, in the quiet intensity of her focus, makes you obey. you restart the music. you move through the sequence, aware of her eyes on every shift of your weight, every extension of your arm. when you reach the part she mentioned, her hand shoots out, her fingers pressing gently but firmly into the muscle beside your shoulder blade.
"here. you're dropping. think of your shoulder blade sliding down into your back pocket. hold it there."
her touch is hot through the thin fabric of your tank top. a jolt, electric and unfamiliar, zips through you. you swallow hard, nodding. you try again, her touch guiding you. the move feels different. better. stronger.
you dance together for hours that night. thereâs no more talk of rankings or numbers. there is only the music, the mirrors, and her voice. sharp and constructive. you find yourself listening, really listening, for the first time. and you find that you don't hate it. you don't hate her. the familiar animosity is gone, replaced by a strange, humming tension that feels less like rivalry and more like⊠curiosity.
-
the announcement comes three months later. you and daniela, alongside 5 others, are debuting as a group. the competition is over. just like that. the years of fighting for the top spot dissolve into a new reality. you will share a stage. a dorm. a future.
the first few weeks are awkward. the rhythm of your rivalry is gone, leaving a void. youâre not sure how to talk to her without a score card between you. you avoid her eyes in the practice room. you take separate cars back to the dorms.
but late one night, you find yourself in the main studio, unable to sleep. you're working on a melody that's been stuck in your head when the door opens. itâs her. she's holding two steaming paper cups.
she doesn't leave. she sits on the floor against the mirrored wall, sipping her own hot chocolate, watching you. the silence is no longer hostile. itâs comfortable. after a few minutes, you set your cup down and turn to face her.
"daniela?"
"hmm?"
"why are you here?"
she looks up at you, her dark eyes solemn. "iâve been wanting an excuse to dance with you⊠canât lie, wanted to see how much you've improved"
your heart does a funny little flip. so you do. you show her the melody. you move, and she responds. you fall into a comfortable back and forth, your styles clashing and then merging, her sharpness complementing your fluidity. you laugh when one of you messes up a turn, a real, unguarded laugh that echoes in the studio. she smiles. a real smile, not the tight, practiced one she usually wears. it transforms her face, making her look softer, younger.
the tour hits you like a storm. the energy is intoxicating. the roar of the crowds, the blinding lights, the feeling of performing together, it's everything you dreamed of and more. then the new choreography drops for your duo stage. the concept is 'sinful desire.' the music is a slow, grinding beat with a breathy, hypnotic vocal.
when the choreographer demonstrates a key move, your cheeks burn. he moves his male assistant to stand behind him. "now, from the back," he instructs. "arms tight around the waist. full-body contact. the front person grinds back, slow and controlled, leading with the hips on the downbeat. it's about the friction, the tease. sell the intimacy. sell the heat."
your eyes find danielaâs in the reflection. a flicker of something, shock? apprehension?, crosses her face before her professional mask snaps back into place. you both swallow and get into position. her arms hesitate before they wrap around your waist. her touch is light, almost reluctant. you try the grind, but your body is stiff, awkward. it feels plain and weird.
"no, no, no," the choreographer groans, stopping the music. "you look like strangers trying to share a too small elevator. daniela, pull her in. y/n, relax your hips against her. i want to believe you want her to touch you."
-
the days that follow are a special kind of hell. the move feels forced. everytime she presses her front against your back, you are hyper-aware of the shape of her body, the hard muscle of her thighs against yours, the way her breath fans your neck. you can feel the heat of her through both of your clothes, and a flush creeps up your chest. you keep messing it up, your body refusing to find the rhythm.
"we need to practice this alone," daniela says one evening, her voice strained. the rest of the group has already left, but the two of you are still in the empty studio. "we're holding everyone up."
"fine," you agree, your voice tight with frustration.
you restart the music. you stand center stage. she comes up behind you. this time, when her arms wrap around you, they are firm, possessive. her hands splay flat against your stomach, pulling you flush against her. a shiver runs down your spine.
"relax," she murmurs, her lips so close to your ear you can feel the vibration. "breathe with me."
you close your eyes, trying to focus, to ignore the way your body is reacting to her proximity, the thrum of heat low in your belly. you try to move, to roll your hips back against her, but it's clumsy. unnatural. you feel her grip on you tighten.
"you're fighting it."
"i'm not! this move is just⊠hard."
"again."
you try. your movement is jerky. your pink practice shorts ride up a little as you sway, exposing more of your thighs. you can see her gaze drop in the mirror, her dark eyes tracking the line of your leg before snapping back to your face. her jaw is tight.
"your shortsâŠ" she starts, then stops herself.
"what about them?" your voice is a challenge.
"they're a distraction," she admits, the words low and raw.
the air crackles. the music pulses around you, a sultry beat that mirrors the frantic pulse in your veins. the protest dies on your lips. you turn in her arms, breaking the hold, and face her. you can see the struggle in her eyes. the frustration not just with the choreography, but with you. with this⊠thing between you. whatever it is.
"i can't focus," you whisper, and it's the most honest thing you've ever said to her.
her gaze drops to your mouth. then it lifts back to your eyes. the professional is gone. all that's left is daniela. intense, and wanting.
"then don't," she says. her hands come up to cup your face, her thumbs stroking your cheekbones. "don't focus."
and then her mouth is on yours.
itâs not a sweet kiss. itâs hunger. a release of all the months of tension, of rivalry, of unspoken desire. her lips are firm, demanding, and you part for her instantly. one of her hands slides back, her fingers tangling in your hair, angling your head to deepen the kiss. her tongue sweeps against yours, a possessive, tasting exploration that makes you whimper into her mouth. you clutch at her arms, the lean muscles bunching under your hands. her other hand trails down your side, over your hip, coming to rest on the curve of your ass, squeezing hard through the flimsy fabric of your shorts.
the kiss breaks, both of you gasping for air. her forehead rests against yours, her eyes dark and burning.
"i've wanted to do that since the first time i saw you dance," she confesses, her voice thick.
words fail you. you just nod, your body trembling. her hands move down to the hem of your tiny shorts. her fingers hook under the elastic, pausing.
"tell me if you want me to stop."
"don't you dare," you breathe.
she doesn't. in one fluid motion, she tugs your shorts down your legs. they pool at your ankles, leaving you in just your thin, white cotton panties and your top. her eyes rake over you, hot and possessive. she kneels before you, her gaze fixed on the wet spot already blooming at the center of your panties.
"such a pretty mess," she murmurs, her voice a velvety rasp. she leans in, pressing a soft, open mouthed kiss right over the damp fabric.
you gasp, your hands flying to her shoulders for support. the heat of her mouth seeps through the cotton, straight to your clit. she does it again, this time letting her tongue flick out, tasting you through the fabric.
"danielaâŠ"
"shhh." she looks up at you, her dark eyes glinting in the dim light. she hooks her fingers into your panties and slowly, agonizingly, peels them down your legs. now you're bare to her gaze. your pussy is slick, your folds swollen with arousal.
she leans in again, but this time she doesn't use her mouth. her eyes are locked on yours as she brings two fingers up, tracing your glistening slit. you shudder, your hips bucking involuntarily. she circles your clit once, twice, a light, teasing touch that has you mewling.
"you're so wet for me, princesa," she whispers, using the nickname you despised for so long, but now it sounds like a prayer on her lips. "is this all for me?"
"yes," you whimper. "all for you."
her fingers delve lower, gathering your wetness before she sinks one digit inside you. the sound of it is obscene, a slick, wet noise that echoes in the silent studio. she pumps it slowly, watching your face.
"you feel that? how tight you are?" she adds a second finger, stretching you deliciously. your head falls back, a low moan tearing from your throat. her thumb finds your clit and begins to rub in slow, lazy circles. the dual sensation is overwhelming. her fingers inside you, curling to press against that sensitive spot deep within, while her thumb works your bundle of nerves from the outside.
"iâm going to make you cum on my fingers first," she says, her voice a low command. "then i'm going to taste you. then i'm going to fuck you until you can't remember your own name."
her dirty words send another surge of heat through you. your hips begin to move, riding her hand, desperate for more friction. she meets your rhythm, her strokes becoming faster, harder. the heel of her hand grinds against your mound with every thrust of her fingers. the pressure builds, a tight coil of heat in your belly, pulling higher and higher until it snaps. your orgasm crashes over you, a wave of intense pleasure that makes your vision white out. you cry out her name, your body convulsing around her fingers.
she doesn't stop. she works you through it, drawing out your pleasure until you sag against her, boneless and trembling. she gently withdraws her fingers, and you whine at the loss. you watch, mesmerized, as she brings them to her own lips, her tongue darting out to taste your climax.
"sweet," she murmurs. "so fucking sweet." then she stands, scooping you up effortlessly. you wrap your legs around her waist as she walks you over to the couch, where you'd left your water bottle. she sits, you in her lap. you're bare from the waist down, your soaking core pressed against the rough fabric of her sweatpants. she kisses you again, a deep, probing kiss that tastes of you and of her.
"you have no idea how many nights i've laid in bed thinking about this," she says against your lips. "thinking about what you'd look like when you cum."
you can only moan in response, your hands tangling in her hair, pulling her closer. her hands roam your body, sliding under your top to cup your breasts. she kneads them, her thumbs grazing your nipples, which immediately harden.
"this is in the way," she growls, tugging the top over your head. it joins your discarded clothes on the floor. you're left in only a flimsy, lacy bra. she unfastens it with a quick flick of her wrist, freeing your breasts. her gaze is hungry as she takes in the sight of you.
then she leans down, her mouth closing over one of your nipples. her tongue swirls around the sensitive bud before she sucks, hard. the tug goes straight to your clit, making you gasp and grind down against her lap. you can feel the hard length of her strap on pressing against you, even through her sweatpants. she must have put it on before practice. the thought makes you dizzy. you don't really care enough to ask.
"you feel that?" she asks, releasing your nipple with a wet pop. "that's what you do to me, y/n. i've been waiting for this all day."
she slides a hand between your bodies, cupping your dripping pussy. "i think you're ready for me, aren't you, mami?"
"yes," you pant. "please, dani. i need it."
"lie back," she commands, helping you off her lap and laying you down on the cool, leather couch. she stands and shucks her sweatpants, revealing her lean, toned legs. and then you see it. a thick, black silicone strap jutting from a harness around her hips. it looks impossibly big.
"not so tough now, are you?" she smirks, reading the look on your face. she kneels on the floor, her hands spreading your thighs wide, opening you up completely. "don't worry. i'll make it fit."
she leans down and presses a hot, open mouthed kiss to your clit. "but first, i wanna taste this pussy."
and then her mouth is on you. her tongue moves like clockwork, licking a broad stripe up your slit before delving inside, fucking you with the same rhythm as her fingers before. she eats you out like she's starved, her nose rubbing against your clit as her tongue laps at your entrance. the sounds are lewd and beautiful, the slurping, the wet suction as she sucks on your folds, your strangled moans. she brings you to the edge again, your hips lifting off the bench, seeking more of her mouth.
"oh dani-fuck!⊠i'mâŠ"
"not yet," she says, pulling away with a final, teasing flick of her tongue against your sensitive nub. she rises to her knees, the fake cock bobbing between her legs. she slicks it up with your own wetness, coating the tip and shaft until it glistens.
she positions herself at your entrance, the head nudging against your slick, swollen lips. "look at me," she orders. your eyes fly to hers. they are dark pools of lust and possessiveness. "i want your pretty eyes on me."
then she pushes forward.
the stretch is intense, a deep, burning pleasure-pain that steals your breath. the squelching sound of the plastic moving into your soaking wet hole is so loud in the quiet studio. she goes slow, giving you time to adjust to the size of her. inch by inch, she fills you until her hips are flush against yours. you feel so full, so completely possessed. she stays still for a moment, letting you get used to it, her hands holding your thighs wide open.
"move," you plead, your voice a ragged whisper. "please."
she starts to move, pulling out almost all the way before sinking back in, slow and deep. the drag of the silicone against your inner walls is perfect. she sets a punishing rhythm, her thrusts hard and deep, the force of them making your breasts jiggle with every impact. the sounds are borderline disgusting, the wet slap of her skin against yours, the slick squelch of the cock driving into your sopping pussy, the harsh pants of your breath mingling with hers.
"you're so beautiful like this," she grunts, her eyes locked on where your body is taking her in. "so fucking mine."
she shifts her angle slightly, and on the next thrust, the head of the cock strikes your cervix. a bolt of pure pleasure shoots through you. you cry out, arching your back off the bench.
"right there?" she asks, a wicked grin gracing her lips.
"yess! oh god, yes, right there!"
she aims for that spot again and again, her hips bucking against you with animalistic force. her hands leave your thighs, one coming up to twist your nipple, the other snaking down to rub your clit in tight, fast circles. the triple assault is too much. your mind blanks, pure sensation taking over. your body tense, your toes curling as a second, more powerful orgasm rips through you.
"that's it, baby. cum for me," daniela growls, her own control beginning to fray. "squeeze my cock. let me feel it."
your walls clamp down around the silicone, a rhythmic pulsing that milks her through your release. she continues to fuck you, her movements becoming more erratic, more desperate. with a final, deep thrust, she buries herself inside you as her own orgasm shudders through her. you can feel the harness press against her, the muscles in her thighs and abdomen flexing as she rides the wave.
she collapses on top of you, her forehead resting on your sweaty chest. your bodies are a tangle of limbs, the air thick with the scent of sex and sweat. you can feel her heart beating rapidly against your ribs, a frantic drum that matches your own. the cock is still inside you, a heavy, welcome presence that grounds you in the aftermath of your shared storm.
you stroke her damp hair, your fingers tracing patterns on her scalp. after a long moment, she pushes herself up, her arms trembling slightly. she looks down at you, her expression softer than you've ever seen it. the hard edges of 'daniela' have melted away, leaving only dani.
slowly, carefully, she pulls out, making you both wince at the wet, sucking sound it makes. the sudden emptiness is a loss. she discards the harness, letting it fall to the floor with a soft thud. then she lies down beside you on the narrow couch, pulling you into her arms, your bodies fitting together perfectly.
"wow," you whisper into the crook of her neck.
a low chuckle rumbles through her chest. "just 'wow'? after all that work, i was hoping for at least a 'holy shit, daniela, you're a sex god.'"
you laugh, a genuine, breathy sound. "okay. holy shit, daniela, you're a sex god."
"better." she presses a soft kiss to your temple. "y/nâŠ"
you pull back to look at her. "hm?"
you only get a heartbeat of quiet before she murmurs, "what is this? because i know itâs not nothing."
"it's definitely not nothing," you say, your thumb brushing her cheek. "for years, all i saw was a rival⊠someone i had to get past. but nowâŠ"
"i felt the same," she says softly. "but at some point, it stopped being about the rankings. it became about you. beating you⊠i think i just wanted any excuse to have you notice me."
your heart swells, a warmth spreading through your chest. "you always had my attention, dani. you just weren't looking in the right way."
she smiles, that rare, beautiful smile that makes your breath catch. the one with those stupid dimples youâre slowly, helplessly falling in love with. "i'm looking now."
you lean in and kiss her. itâs slow, deep, like itâs been waiting for this moment. it tastes like something new, something just for the two of you. outside, the city hums, but in the quiet of the studio, itâs just you. the silence isnât empty anymore, itâs full of everything youâve been holding back for years.
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his pretty blue strands give such a nice view from where your hand sits pulling on them. this might be your second favorite color on him blonde being the first. âfuck.â lifting your hips off the bed to bring your cunt a tad closer to his lips if that were even possible considering he was already eating the fuck out of you.
youâre practically engulfing him with the way your legs have him trapped in between your thighs. he doesnât seem to be complaining though with his own arms wrapped around your thighs, pushing himself in further. âdonghyun.â
if anyone were to walk in or peek through the crack in the door theyâd be able to see the beautiful sight of you in front of them. legs spread wide, fingers gripping on his hair, head thrown back and mouth agape, moans slipping out. theyâd be able to see the way youâre grinding against his face and him moaning into your cunt absolutely devouring you.
âohmygodohmygod-â youâre cut off by a sharp gasp, toes curling. you feel the way your body trembles as you come down trying to catch your breath. âoh fuck.â you sigh out. completely spent.
âhow was i?â he grins. he definitely gets off on your pleasure and turns absolutely cocky right after.
âinsane.â you open your arms as an invitation for him to lie on your chest.
âyeah?â he kisses your jaw.
âi think this is a new tradition.â
âi eat you out each time i come home with a new hair color?â he tilts his head as if pretending to think. âi mean we did start doing this, like, two colors ago. not a bad tradition, though.â
- â -you could do it on your own (while you're looking at me) - â -
â warningsâ usage of fuck, injuries, fucking lots of fucking umm aftercare masturbation teasing uhh praise uhhh afab r uhhh ithink thats it
â genreâ SMUT
â A/Nâ very homo.
â word countâ 7k
It starts at breakfast.
You're not even fully awake yet, shuffling into the kitchen with your laptop bag already slung over your shoulder because muscle memory has become pathological. The kettle is hissing. Sophia is at the stove making something that smells aggressively healthy. Yoonchae is face-down on the table in a penguin onesie, possibly asleep, possibly deceased.
And Lara is leaning against the counter, mug in hand, watching you with that look.
That look.
"Morning, baby," she says, voice still soft with sleep. Her hair is loose, glasses perched on her nose, oversized sleep shirt hanging off one shoulder. She looks innocent. She isn't.
"Mm," you manage, beelining for the coffee pot.
You reach for a mug at the same time she does. Your fingers brush. She doesn't move her hand. Instead, she lets her fingertips drag across your knuckles, slow and deliberate, before stepping into your space to grab the mug above yours.
"Sorry," she murmurs, not sorry at all. Her chest brushes your back. Her breath ghosts your ear. "Tight fit."
The kitchen is enormous. There is nothing tight about it.
You stare at the coffee pot like it holds answers. It does not. It holds coffee. Lara holds you.
She takes her mug and drifts away, but not before her hand slides across your lower back, a brief, burning pressure through your shirt. By the time you turn around, she's already at the table, sliding into the seat next to Daniela like nothing happened.
You catch her smirk over the rim of her mug.
It's going to be a long day.
The morning shoot is for some brand partnership you've already forgotten the name of. Bright lights, white backdrop, clothes that cost more than your degree. You're on B-cam today, which means you're mobile, circling the set, catching candids while the main photographer directs the group shots.
Lara is in a cropped sweater and wide-leg pants, hair styled in loose waves, makeup soft and glowing. She looks effortless. She looks like a problem.
Every time you raise your camera, she finds you.
Not obviously. Not in a way anyone else would notice. But you notice. The slight tilt of her head when you step left. The way her eyes flick to your lens before returning to the main camera. The subtle shift of her weight when you circle behind her, angling for a profile shot.
At one point, between setups, you're crouching to adjust your settings when she walks by. Her hand brushes your shoulder, casual, friendly. Then her fingers curl, just slightly, nails dragging through the hair at the nape of your neck before she keeps walking.
You fumble your aperture dial.
"Need help?" Sophia asks, appearing beside you with a water bottle.
"No," you manage. "I'm good."
"Hydrate," she says, pressing the bottle into your hand. "You look flushed."
You are flushed. You're also going to kill your girlfriend.
The next setup is individual shots. Lara goes third, stepping in front of the white backdrop with practiced ease. You're on the sidelines now, camera lowered, watching the main photographer direct her.
She's good. She's always good. She knows her angles, her light, her presence. But halfway through the set, she turns her head, just slightly, and catches your eye.
You grip your camera tighter. She turns back to the photographer, smile angelic, and you know-she's tracking you in her peripheral.
After her set, she walks over to where you're standing, checking your phone for the schedule.
"How were those?" she asks, voice light.
"Good," you say, not looking up. "Solid."
"Just good?" She steps closer, shoulder brushing yours. "I thought I looked pretty."
You glance up. Her eyes are warm, teasing. Her mouth is curved in that soft, private smile she saves for you.
"You always look pretty," you mutter.
Her smile widens. "Sweet." She leans in, lips brushing your ear. "I could look better."
She pulls back before you can respond, walking away with a sway in her hips that shouldn't be legal on a professional set.
You check the schedule. Four more hours.
Lunch is catered, which means chaos. The girls scatter across the studio's common area, claiming couches and corners and one very questionable beanbag chair that Megan has become attached to. You find a spot at a small table, laptop open, already importing the morning's raws.
You're three folders deep when Lara appears.
"Working through lunch?" she asks, sliding into the chair beside you. Close. Her knee bumps yours under the table.
"Someone has to," you say, clicking through images.
"Someone does." She reaches over, finger landing on your trackpad, scrolling through thumbnails. "Ooh. That one's good. I look like I have secrets."
"You always look like you have secrets."
"Mm." She leans closer, chin almost resting on your shoulder. "Maybe I do."
Her hand slides under the table, landing on your thigh. Squeezing once, gentle, before settling there like it belongs.
You keep scrolling. Your pulse jumps.
"Lara," you murmur. "We're in public."
"We're in a common area," she corrects. "With five other people who are all on their phones." Her thumb traces a small circle on your inner thigh. "Relax."
"I am relaxed."
"You're tense." Her hand slides higher. "Here. Let me help."
You catch her wrist under the table. "You're not helping."
Her smile turns sharp. "No?" She leans in, lips brushing your jaw. "What would help?"
Your breath catches. She pulls back before you can answer, hand retreating to her own lap, expression innocent.
"Finish your work," she says, standing. "I'll save you a seat on the ride back."
She walks away. You stare at your laptop screen, not seeing any of the images.
The folder is labeled "MORNING_SELECTS." You rename it "MORNING_SURVIVAL."
The car ride back is worse.
You're in the passenger seat, laptop balanced on your thighs, trying to get a head start on culling. The girls are in the back, chattering about the shoot, about dinner plans, about whether or not Megan can fit an entire bag of chips in her mouth at once. Normal chaos.
Then Lara's hand appears over your shoulder, finger pointing at the screen.
"That one," she says, voice close to your ear. "Keep it."
You glance back. She's leaning forward, chin hooked over your headrest, face inches from yours.
"I'm working," you say.
"I'm helping." Her finger scrolls. "That one too. And that one. Delete that, I look weird."
"You don't look weird."
"You're sweet." Her free hand slides over your shoulder, fingertips tracing your collarbone through your shirt. "And a liar."
"I'm not lying-"
"You are." Her lips brush your ear. "I looked weird. But you kept it anyway because you like looking at me."
Your face burns. "I'm a photographer. Looking is my job."
"Mm." Her teeth graze your earlobe. "And here I thought you just liked me."
"I do like you."
"Prove it." Her hand slides lower, fingertips tracing down your sternum. "Come sit in the back with me."
"I'm working."
"Work later." Her palm flattens against your stomach, warm through your shirt. "Be with me now."
Your hands freeze on the keyboard. The car hums. The girls laugh at something behind you. And Lara's hand is a brand against your abdomen, fingers spread, holding you in place.
"Baby," she murmurs, voice dropping. "Please?"
You close your laptop.
She smiles against your ear, triumphant, and pulls back just enough to let you climb over the console into the back seat. The other girls shuffle to make room, barely glancing up from their phones. You end up wedged between the window and Lara, her leg pressed against yours, her hand finding yours immediately.
"Better," she whispers, linking your fingers.
You stare out the window, face hot, pulse racing. She rests her head on your shoulder, hair spilling across your arm, and doesn't let go of your hand for the rest of the ride.
Back at the house, you escape to your small side room.
You're three raws into editing when the door opens.
"Hi," Lara says, already closing it behind her.
"Hi," you echo, not looking up. "I'm working."
"You're always working." She crosses the room, dropping onto the floor beside you. Close. Her knee touches yours. "Take a break."
"I took a break in the car."
"That wasn't a break. That was a preview." She leans against your arm, chin hooking over your shoulder to peer at the screen. "What are you editing?"
"The morning shoot."
"Boring." Her hand slides across your back, fingertips tracing your spine. "Edit me instead."
"You're in the morning shoot."
"Then edit me better." Her lips brush your shoulder through your shirt. "Make me look good."
"You always look good."
"Flatterer." Her teeth graze your shoulder. "I like it."
You keep your eyes on the screen, fingers steady on the trackpad, but your pulse is hammering. She's warm against your side, soft and solid, and her hand is drifting lower on your back, fingertips tracing the waistband of your pants. Your cheeks warm
"Lara," you murmur. "I really need to finish this."
"You really need to relax." Her hand slips under your shirt, palm flat against your lower back. "You've been tense all day."
"I wonder why."
"Mm." She presses a kiss to your shoulder. "Is it me?"
You don't answer.
"It's okay if it is." Her hand slides higher under your shirt, warm skin against warm skin. "I like making you tense."
"You're evil."
"I'm attentive." She nuzzles into your neck. "There's a difference."
Her hand flattens against your ribs, thumb stroking the soft skin there. Your breath catches. She feels it, of course she does, and her smile curves against your throat.
"Cute ." Her smile turns wicked. "You look good with a camera in your hands."
"You look good all the time."
"Flatterer." She kisses you again, then pulls back with a sigh. "Okay. Work. I'll behave."
"You don't know how to behave."
"True." She sits up, stretching, and you try not to stare at the line of her torso. "But I can try. For you."
"For five minutes."
"Maybe three." She stands, then leans down to press one last kiss to your forehead. "Finish your work. Then come find me."
"Where will you be?"
"My room." Her smile curves. "Waiting."
She slips out. The door clicks shut. You stare at the ceiling for a long moment.
Then you sit up, pull your laptop back into your lap properly, and try to remember what exposure settings are.
Dinner is group chaos, as always. The girls pile around the kitchen table, arguing about takeout versus cooking, while you sit in the corner with your laptop, still editing.
Lara is across from you, legs stretched under the table, foot occasionally bumping your ankle. She's not looking at you-she's engaged in a heated debate with Daniela about whether pineapple belongs on pizza-but her foot keeps drifting higher, calf sliding against yours, toes tracing the inside of your ankle.
You keep editing. Your face is warm. She doesn't acknowledge it at all.
At one point, she reaches across the table for the salt, arm brushing yours, and lets her hand linger on your shoulder before pulling back.
"Pass the water?" she asks, innocent.
You pass the water. Her fingers brush yours. She winks.
You're going to die.
After dinner, the house settles into its usual evening rhythm. Megan and Yoonchae claim the TV for a movie marathon. Sophia starts tidying with the intensity of a woman on a mission. Daniela and Manon disappear into their rooms for a "quick call" that will definitely last two hours.
You retreat to your side room, determined to finish the day's edit.
You're halfway through color grading when Lara appears in the doorway.
"Hey," she says, voice soft.
"Hey." You glance up. She's changed into sleep clothes-black shorts, oversized tank top, hair loose. She looks soft. She looks tired. "Everything okay?"
"Can't sleep." She crosses the room, dropping down beside you, and rests her head on your shoulder. "Missed you."
"You saw me at dinner."
"Not the same." Her hand slides across your thigh, gentle. "You've been working all day."
"I have a job."
"Your job is making me look good." Her lips brush your shoulder. "You've done that. Take a break."
"I'm almost done."
"Almost isn't done." She tilts her head up, nose brushing your jaw. "Come to bed."
"Lara-"
"Please?" Her voice drops, softer. "I just want you close. That's all."
Your resolve crumbles. It always does with her.
"Fine," you mutter. "Let me save this."
"Good girl." She presses a kiss to your shoulder, then stands, tugging your hand. "Bring your laptop if you have to. Just come."
You save your files, close your laptop, and let her lead you down the hall to her room.
Her room is dim, lit only by the streetlights filtering through the curtains. The bed is unmade from this morning, sheets tangled. She crawls in and pulls you after her, arranging you until you're on your back and she's curled into your side, head on your chest.
"Better," she murmurs.
"Better?" you echo, teasing.
"Mm." Her arm tightens around your waist. "You're warm."
"You're demanding."
"You like it." Her leg slides over yours, tangling them together. "Don't lie."
You don't deny it. You can't.
She settles against you, breath evening out, and for a moment, you think she's already falling asleep. Then her hand shifts on your stomach, fingers tracing idle patterns, and you feel her smile against your chest.
"Today was good," she whispers.
"Today was torture."
"Mm." Her hand flattens, palm warm through your shirt. "You liked the torture."
"I like you."
"Same thing." She tilts her head up, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw. "Sleep, baby. I'll be here."
You close your eyes, her warmth soaking into you, her breath steady against your neck. You're still thrumming from the day-from every touch, every glance, every deliberate press of her hands. But she's here, and she's soft, and she's yours.
You're almost asleep when you feel her lips curve against your throat.
"Love you," she breathes.
"Love you too," you murmur back.
She sighs, content, and settles deeper into your side.
Five minutes later, she's asleep.
You stare at the ceiling, still buzzing, still warm, still thinking about her hands.
The ache builds, slow and stubborn, and you know-you know-you should just wake her up. She'd help. She'd want to help. But she looks so peaceful, so soft, and you've already taken so much of her time today.Â
You choose to edit.
You slide out of her arms with a practiced ease and sit on the ground laptop open again in your lap screen brightness all the way down.
She won't even know.
By the time youâre halfway done with the photos, the house has finally stopped humming. Not the fake-quiet of earlier, but the real, weighted silence of 3 AM inside the Katseye residence. Lara is asleep in her bed, tangled in sheets: tank top twisted, black sleep shorts rumpled, one arm thrown above her head like there are no worries in her world. You are not in bed. You have migrated close, onto the floor with your back against the mattress, laptop burning your thighs, still culling through todayâs raws because your brain refuses to shut down.
Laraâs arm lashes out to the empty pillow. Her hand finds your shoulder instead, grip tightening with sleepy demand. âHey,â she mumbles, voice thick. âWhereâd you go. Bedtime, Sâlate, too late to be doing camera.â
âIâm right here,â you whisper. âAnd i canât be doing cameraâ
âHere means here.â She tugs your shirt with inelegant, imperious insistence. âCome. Sleep. Now. Please. Miss you.â
You climb in because sheâs pulling, because sheâs half-asleep and still commanding and mostly because she sounds too sweet when she says âmiss youâ half asleep. You sink into the space sheâs made, shoulders sliding from their place near your ears dow. She immediately rolls into it, throwing her leg over yours, face pressing into your shoulder. Citrus and vanilla. Sleep-soft skin. âMk?â she breathes, already drifting.
âMk,â you mutter back.
Five minutes later sheâs gone. Really gone. Her breathing evens into the soft, almost-snore youâve catalogued. She doesnât stir when you shift. She doesnât wake when you stare at the ceiling for twenty minutes straight.
Youâre awake. Painfully awake. And bored.
And worse still buzzing.
The house is silent. No Sophia barging in with hydration commands, no Megan doomscrolling, no penguin onesie in sight. Just Laraâs warmth soaking into your side, her leg heavy over yours, and the particular, terrible knowledge that earlier today she sat in your lap and breathed praise against your ear like it was something she was entitled to give. You stare at the dark. You count her breaths. You think about tomorrowâs call time. You think about the way she held your wrist while you adjusted the shadows. You think about how you wanted her to hold it differently.
Heat pools low in your stomach, slow and stubborn. You squeeze your thighs together under the blanket, a small, futile pressure. It doesnât help. If anything, it makes the ache sharper. That ache was the reason you were editing.Â
Lara shifts in her sleep, mumbling something unintelligible, and her hand slides from your shoulder to rest on your stomach, heavy and loose. Her fingers twitch once. Then stillness warm against your shirt.
Your heart thuds. You glance at her face-relaxed, lips parted, utterly gone. The sheets are tangled around her hips, one strap of her tank top fallen off her shoulder. She looks peaceful. Unguarded. Completely unaware.
You shouldnât.
The thought arrives uninvited, electric at the base of your skull. Sheâs asleep. She wonât know. You could just-relieve the pressure. Quietly. Quickly. Without disturbing her. Your hand is already resting on your stomach, mere inches from the waistband of your sleep shorts. It would be so easy to let it drift lower. To slip beneath the fabric. To finally ease the ache sheâs been stoking all week with her smirks and her whispers and her impossible, insistent âgood.â
Your fingers twitch.
You glance at Lara again. Still asleep. Still soft. Her breath a steady rhythm against your collarbone.
Slowly, heart hammering against your ribs, you let your hand drift down. Your fingertips graze the elastic of your waistband. You pause, listening to her breathe. Then, with a shaky exhale, you slip beneath the fabric.
The first touch draws a sharp breath from your lungs. Youâre already wet. Of course you are. Youâve been half-wet since she called you obedient in the editing room. You stroke tentatively, silently, biting your lip to keep any sound from escaping. Your fingers move in slow, careful circles, thighs squeezing together, every nerve tuned to the girl beside you.
Lara doesnât stir.
You let yourself sink into it. The relief, the friction, the image of her face when she caught you off guard with that photo. The memory of her weight in your lap. The way she said mine like it was a fact. Your breath comes faster, carefully controlled, chest barely moving. Your hips shift, chasing your own hand, and you bite down harder on your lip-
Laraâs hand twitches on your stomach.
You freeze. Every muscle locked. Fingers stilled mid-motion, buried in your underwear, heart slamming so loud she must be able to hear it.
She doesnât move again.
You wait. One breath. Two. Three.
Then, slowly, you start again. Lighter this time. Slower. Desperate to finish before your body betrays you completely.
âMm.â
The sound is soft, sleepy, barely a syllable. But itâs her. Your hand stops.
âMm.â She shifts, nose brushing your jaw, a sleepy kiss already landing right under it. âWhy didnât you wake me up, baby?â
Your blood runs cold.
Her voice is thick with sleep, but her eyes arenât open. Not fully. Just enough to glint in the dark, catching the faint light from the window. Her hand is still on your stomach. Her leg is still tangled with yours. And her lips are curving into a slow, drowsy smile.
âI-â Your voice cracks. Oh no. âI didnât want to-â
âShh.â Her hand slides up your ribs, gentle, grounding. âSâokay.â
You try to pull your hand free, face burning so hot youâre sure she can feel it radiating off you. But before you can move, her hand catches your wrist.
She holds it there. Frozen in place. Still inside your underwear.
Your lungs stop working.
âLara-â you breathe, mortified.
âHmm?â She blinks slowly, still half-asleep, but her grip is firm. Her thumb strokes the inside of your wrist, lazy and deliberate. âYou stopped.â
âI-â
âWhyâd you stop?â
Your brain short-circuits. âI- you- I thought you were-â
âAsleep?â She finishes, voice low and rough. âI was.â Her eyes finally open, dark and warm and catching every inch of your humiliation. âThen I wasnât.â she sighs softly, pleased her hand is still warm around your wrist. Suddenly you realize how caught you are, her legs over yours, her hand holding your wrist and worst of all her gaze holding you right in place.Â
You want to sink through the mattress. You want to dissolve into the sheets. You want to explain, but your mouth wonât form words, and your wrist is still trapped in her grip, and sheâs looking at you like sheâs deciding what to do with you.
âLara,â you whisper, voice strangled. âIâm- I shouldnât have-â
She tilts her head, considering. Her thumb strokes your pulse point, feeling it hammer against her fingertip. Then, slowly, she releases your wrist.
âDonât let me stop you,â she murmurs, voice thick.
Your hand is free. You could pull away. You should pull away. But you donât. You canât. Youâre frozen, caught between shame and the ache still throbbing between your legs, and sheâs looking at you with that lazy, knowing smirk she wears so well.
âI-â you try again.
âGo on,â she whispers. Her hand slides from your wrist to your hip, pulling you closer. âYou were so close, werenât you?â
A whimper escapes you. Involuntary. Embarrassing.
Her smile widens. âSo good for me,â she breathes. âTrying to be quiet. Trying not to wake me.â Her lips brush your ear. âBut Iâm awake now, baby. And I want to watch. And I want to hear.â
Your whole body flushes hot. You shake your head, wordless, mortified beyond speech. But your hand is still between your legs, and your fingers are still slick, and sheâs pressing against your side, warm and solid and impossible to ignore.
âI canât,â you whisper.
âYou can.â Her hand slides under your shirt, palm flat against your stomach, grounding you. âYou were doing so well.â
âLara-â
âOr,â she says, voice dropping into that purr that makes your thoughts scatter, âyou could let me help.â
Your breath catches.
She doesnât wait for an answer. In one fluid motion, she shifts, sliding over you until sheâs straddling your hips. Her tank top hangs loose, hair falling around her face, glasses abandoned somewhere on the nightstand. She looks down at you with dark, hungry eyes.
âHi,â she whispers, almost sweet.
âHi,â you breathe, voice trembling.
She leans down, lips brushing your jaw. âYou thought I was asleep,â she murmurs, kissing a path down your neck. âYou thought you could touch yourself beside me and I wouldnât notice.â
âI-â
âShh.â Her teeth graze your collarbone. âIâm not mad.â she murmurs âin fact iâm surprised it took you so long, I've been teasing you the entire dayâ
âYouâre- youâre not? Wait - that was on purposeâ
âmhm.â She pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, smile almost in the shape of something tender, if you could ignore the smugness shadowing it. âIâm flattered.â Her hips shift until sheâs on top of you, pressing down against yours, and you gasp. âAnd iâm turned on,â she adds lazily kissing your neck before pulling away to look at you. âAnd Iâm going to make you finish what you started.â
Her hands slide under your shirt, pushing it up, exposing your stomach. She kisses the skin there, soft and slow, working her way down while your hands fist in the sheets. Her fingers hook into your waistband, tugging your shorts down your hips, and you lift them without thinking, obedient even now.
âSee?â she whispers, sliding down and pressing a kiss to your hip bone. âSo good.â
She takes her time. Her fingers trace the elastic of your underwear, feather-light, watching you squirm. She's in no rush. She has all night. And she wants you to feel every second of it.
"I bet you felt so good doing it yourself," she murmurs against your inner thigh, mouth hot and close. Her breath ghosts over the thin fabric still covering you, and your hips twitch involuntarily. "Your own fingers. Your own pace. Thinking about me."
You whimper, high and desperate. "Lara-"
"But I can make you feel better."
Her fingers hook under the elastic. She pauses, looking up at you, eyes soft and checking.
"Is this okay?"
You nod frantically, beyond words.
"Words, baby." Her thumb strokes your hip bone. "I need words."
"Yes," you breathe. "Yes, it's- please."
Her smile sharpens, satisfied. "Good."
She works her way lower, mouth hot through the thin fabric of your underwear despite her lips really only kissing the elastic waistband. She was going to tease you till you died. You were sure of it. You were squirming beneath her, already halfway to heaven or maybe it was hell. She pulls your underwear down slowly, deliberately, letting the fabric drag across your skin. The cool air hits you and you shiver, exposed and aching. But she doesn't dive in. Instead, she sits back on her heels, looking down at you with an expression that's half reverence, half hunger.
âLook at you,â she breathes. âAll this from me?â she murmurs in wonder. âRelax baby âm going slowâ she whispers lips a centimeter from your thigh. âM gonna fuck you so goodâ
You cover your face with your hands, pulling it out of hers, mortified. âLaraâ
She was shameless still staring âwhat? My girl was touching herself instead of waking me up? What does that say about me? Means I havenât fucked you well ânough yet. Means i gotta try harder till you know my fingers will feel so much better than your ownâ
She kisses the inside of your thigh using her now free hand to push your thighs to her shoulder with exactly no help from you. Which was only hotter, because why was she strong too. âDonât hide from me.â
You donât move your hands.
She sighs, fond, and then her mouth is on you, biting once right where thigh meets the rest of you. You squeak, hips jolting and stay for a moment, face burning. Then you let her pull your hands away, and she's looking at you with that soft, devastating warmth that makes your chest ache.
"There you are," she murmurs. She leans down, pressing a kiss to your hip. "You're so pretty when you're embarrassed."
"I'm not-"
"You are." Another kiss, lower. "And you're wet." Her finger drags through your slick, just once, and your breath stutters. "So wet. All for me?"
You nod, helpless.
"So shy, you canât even say it"
"Mâ not shyâ you say desperate to put up a fight somewhere âAll for you." you mumble tilting your head to look up before returning to her gaze.
Her smile turns sharp. "Good girl."
She settles between your legs, breath warm against your core. Her hands grip your thighs, spreading you open, holding you steady. She presses a soft, open-mouthed kiss to your inner thigh, then another, working her way up with agonizing slowness.
"Lara," you whimper. "Please."
"Please what?" She looks up at you, chin resting on your thigh as if its the best place in the world, expression innocent and hungry all at once. "Tell me what you want."
"I want- your mouth. Please."
Her smile widens. "See? Was that so hard?"
Then her mouth is on you.
The first stroke of her tongue is slow, deliberate, dragging from your entrance to your clit in one hot, wet motion. Your back arches off the bed, a sound escaping you that's half gasp, half moan. She hums against you, pleased, and the vibration sends sparks up your spine.
She works you slowly at first. Long, lazy strokes, tasting you, learning you. Her tongue circles your clit with just enough pressure to make you tremble, then backs off, teasing. Your hands find her hair, fingers tangling in the loose strands, and she groans softly at the contact.
"You know just what tâdo alreadyâ she murmurs âlook at you. Could look at you all dayâ she says her tongue sinful against you.Â
You gasp the thought filling you with dread. Youâd die if she didÂ
âPlease donâtâ you whine
She only chuckles â You taste so good," she murmurs against you, words muffled and hot. "Better than I imagined."
"You- you imagined-"
"Mm." Another stroke, firmer this time. "Late nights. Hotel rooms. Thinking about what you'd sound like." She sucks gently on your clit, and your hips jerk. "You sound even better."
Your head falls back against the pillow, breath coming in short, desperate gasps. She finds a rhythm, tongue moving in tight circles, and your thighs were trembling from the effort of not squeezing around her head.
"Lara- I'm-"
She pulls back just enough to speak, lips glistening. "Not yet."
"What-"
"You touched yourself without me." Her finger drags through your slick, teasing your entrance. "Gotta make up for missed time. Dâyou know how sad that makes me? Couldâve been tasting you. Been hearing you. Instead I almost missed all of it. That wouldâve been so bad, I wouldâve been so sad, baby. I think you can wait a little longer."
"Lara, please-"
"Shh." She presses a kiss to your clit, feather-light. "I want to take my time."
Her finger circles your entrance, slow and maddening, while her tongue returns to your clit. She works you in tandem now-tongue in soft, relentless circles, finger teasing just at the edge of penetration. Your whole body trembles.
"Please," you whisper again. "I need-"
"What do you need?" She looks up at you, eyes dark and warm. "Tell me."
"Inside. Please. I need-"
She presses one finger inside, slow and deliberate, and you moan, long and loud. She groans against you, the sound vibrating through your core, and starts to move. Her finger curls, finding that spot, and your legs press down on her shoulders harder.
"Here?" she murmurs.
"Yes- oh god, yes-"
She adds a second finger, stretching you, and you gasp. Her tongue keeps working your clit while her fingers curl and thrust, finding a rhythm that makes your vision blur. Your hands tighten in her hair, pulling her closer, and she moans again, the sound sending shockwaves through you.
"You're so good," she whispers against you. "So wet. All for me."
"Who else," you ask, desperate. âIâm dating you, rememberâ
Her fingers curl harder, pressing against that spot lazily in response.
âCan always go slowerâ she reminds her tongue tracing a slow L right above your clit.Â
You almost whine âno no I take it back, iâm sorryâÂ
Her tongue moves faster, relentless again almost immediately, and you feel the pressure building at the base of your spine.
"Lara- I'm close-"
She pulls back, fingers stalling inside you. You whimper at the loss, hips chasing her mouth.
"Not yet," she says, voice low and firm. "Look at me."
You force your eyes open, meeting her gaze. Her chin is wet, lips swollen, eyes dark and hungry.
"You okay?" she asks, softer. "You want this?"
"Yes," you breathe. "Yes, please- I want-"
"Tell me you want it."
"I want it. I want you. Please, Lara, please-"
Her smile sharpens. "Good. Will you come to me next timeâÂ
âLara!â it was almost incredulous âYou couldâve said you wanted to fuck me too!â your hips were still squirming reaching towards her.
She looks at you amused for a second that even now youâd fight, and lowers her mouth again, tongue finding your clit instantly, fingers resuming their rhythm. She works you harder now, faster, curling and thrusting and licking in a rhythm that makes your whole body tighten.
"Okay baby" she murmurs against you. "You can cum, I got you"
The pressure snaps.
Your orgasm crashes through you, wave after wave, and she doesn't stop. Her fingers keep moving, her tongue keeps working, drawing it out until you're trembling and overstimulated and pushing at her head.
"Lara- too much-"
She pulls back slowly, fingers easing out of you one at a time, shushing you at the gasps you let out each time, and presses one last soft kiss to your clit, almost reverent. Then she crawls up your body, settling beside you, and pulls you into her chest.
You're still shaking. Your breath comes in ragged gasps, face buried in her neck, hands fisted in her tank top. She holds you through it, fingers tracing lazy patterns on your back.
"Hi," she whispers, pressing a kiss to your hair.
"Hi," you manage, voice wrecked, eyes wide as you watch her shamelessly sucking her fingers clean.
She shifts till she can see your face clearly. "You okay?"
You nod, still breathless. "I- that was-"
"Amazing?" she offers, smug.
"I was going to say mortifying."
She laughs, soft and warm. "You're cute when you're embarrassed."
"I'm not embarrassed. I'm humiliated."
"Same thing." She presses a kiss to your forehead. "You could have just woken me up, you know."
"I didn't want to bother you."
"You touching yourself two inches away from me is bothering me less how exactly?"
Your face burns hotter. "I thought you were asleep."
"I was." She shifts, pressing her face into your shoulder. "Until I felt the bed shaking."
"Oh my god."
"Kidding." She laughs at your sound of distress. "I woke up when you stopped breathing."
"I wasn't-"
"You were." Her arm tightens around you. "You get quiet when you're trying to hide something."
You lie in silence for a moment, her breath evening out against your skin. Then, quieter, softer:
"Thank you," you whisper.
Her arm tightens. "Anytime, baby." A pause. "Next time, just ask."
"There's going to be a next time?"
She lifts her head, smiles sharp and fond. "Weâre dating?"
âOh. Rightâ
She pulls you closer, tucking your head under her chin, and you don't resist. You're already half-asleep, mortification fading into warmth, her heartbeat steady against your cheek.
The last thing you hear before you drift off is her voice, soft and smug:
"My good girl."
You're floating somewhere between asleep and awake when the thought surfaces, sluggish but insistent.
"What about you?"
Lara's breath stirs against your hair and her hand moves from where it rests against your chest waiting for your heart to calm down. "Hmm?"
"You didn't-" You shift, trying to find words through the post-orgasm haze. "I didn't-you. What about you?"
A soft laugh vibrates through her chest. "Baby."
"I should-"
"Tomorrow." Her arm tightens around you, anchoring you in place. "Not right now."
"But-"
"Shh." She presses a kiss to the top of your head. "I'm exhausted. You're exhausted. I can tell." Her hand slides up your spine, gentle and slow. "You're still shaking."
You hadn't noticed. But now that she mentions it, your thighs are trembling, your breath uneven, your whole body humming with the aftershocks of what she did to you.
"That's not-" You try to sit up. "I can-"
"You can lie still and let me take care of you," she murmurs, already shifting. "Stay."
She slips out of bed, and you immediately feel the absence-her warmth, her weight, the steady rhythm of her breathing. The sheets are cool against your bare skin. You're suddenly very aware that you're half-naked, still slick, still catching your breath.
You cover your face with your hands.
The sink runs in the en-suite bathroom. A soft clatter. Then Lara returns, washcloth in hand, expression soft in the low light.
"Arms down," she says gently.
"They're not-"
"Arms down baby, you donât need to be embarrassed." She tugs your wrist, and you let her, because you always let her. She settles beside you, washcloths warm and damp, and begins to clean you up.
The first touch makes you flinch-oversensitive, exposed. But her movements are slow, careful, without a hint of teasing. She works methodically, wiping the inside of your thighs, the slick between your legs, the sweat gathered at your hips. Her free hand rests on your stomach, grounding you.
"Doing so good," she murmurs. "Almost done."
You stare at the ceiling, face burning, but you don't pull away. You let her take care of you. You let her touch you like you're something worth handling carefully even though you want to melt into the bed.
"There," she says after a moment, satisfied. She sets the washcloth aside and reaches for something on the nightstand-a water bottle, already opened. "Sit up a little for me."
You obey, shifting onto your elbows, and she holds the bottle to your lips. You drink small sips at first, then deeper. The water is cool and clean and grounding.
"Good," she whispers. "All of it."
You finish the bottle. She sets it aside and brushes the hair back from your forehead, fingers lingering at your temple.
"Hold on," she says, and slips off the bed again.
You watch her cross to the dresser, bare feet silent on the floor. She rummages briefly, then returns with something dark and soft bundled in her hands.
"These first," she says, kneeling beside the bed. "Lift."
You lift your hips, still dazed, and she slides the fabric up your legs. Boxers. Her boxers-soft cotton, slightly different on your hips. She adjusts them with careful fingers, smoothing the fabric over your thighs.
"There," she breathes, satisfied. "Perfect."
"Arenât these yours?â You mumble into her shoulder. Yours were black with the Calvin Klein logo. These were different
"I like seeing you in them." Her smile flickers, almost shy. "Sue me."
You don't have a response for that. You're still processing-the tenderness, the care, the way she's looking at you like you're something precious instead of something she just wrecked.
"Up," she says suddenly, hands on your hips. "You're on the wet spot."
"I'm-what?"
"You're on the wet spot." She tugs you gently, guiding you to shift across the mattress. "Come on. Cool sheets."
You let her move you, too boneless to resist. She strips the top layer of the bedding in one practiced motion, tossing the damp sheet aside and checking the bottom layer to make sure they arenât. She pulls the comforter back over you, despite your immediate wiggling because it was hot. Well you were hot. She was too. The fresh sheets are cool against your skin, and you sink into them with a sound you didn't mean to make.
Lara disappears again. The sink runs. You hear her washing her hands, then her face, the soft pat of a towel. When she returns, she's stripped down to a fresh tank top and shorts, her face clean, expression soft.
She slides into bed beside you, pulling you close.
"Better?" she murmurs against your hair.
"I-" Your voice catches. "You didn't have to do all that."
"I wanted to." Her arm tightens around you. "You needed it."
"I didn't need-"
"You did." She shifts, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Even if you donât think so. You need to be comfy in my bed, âs the rules"
You blink. You're used to cleaning up your own disasters.
"Thank you," you whisper again, because it's the only thing that fits.
"You don't have to keep thanking me." Her voice is warm, amused. "I'm your girlfriend. This is what I do."
Girlfriend. The word lands soft and strange in your chest. You turn it over, testing its weight.
"I'm-" You hesitate. "I'm not used to this."
"The aftercare?" Her fingers trace lazy patterns on your hip. "Or the part where someone actually gives a shit about you after they get you off? Or the part where they get you off instead of the other way around"
Your face burns. "Both."
She's quiet for a moment. Then, softer: "I know."
Her hand slides up your side, settling on your ribs. She can probably feel your heartbeat, still too fast, still catching up.
"You did so well," she murmurs. "You know that, right?"
"I-"
"You did." Her voice is firm. "You were so good for me. So pretty. So perfect." She presses a kiss to your shoulder. "And now you're going to let me take care of you, and you're going to sleep, and tomorrow I'm going to make you breakfast, and you're not going to apologize once. Or say you owe me. Especially not that one. I like doing this"
"I wasn't going to apologize-"
"You were going to apologize." She pinches your hip, gentle. "I can hear you thinking about it."
You huff, but there's no heat behind it. You're too tired, too warm, too wrapped up in her arms to argue.
"Okay," you whisper.
"Okay." She sounds pleased. "Good."
Silence settles over the room. The house is still quiet, the others asleep in their own beds, unaware of what happened behind this closed door. The sheets are cool, the boxers soft, her heartbeat steady against your back.
"Lara?" you murmur, half-asleep.
"Hmm?"
"What if I want to-tomorrow-what if I want to do something for you?"
Her breath catches, just slightly. Then she exhales, slow and warm against your neck.
"Then tomorrow," she says, voice dropping into something softer, "you can do something for me."
"Okay."
"But tonight-" She pulls you closer, tucking your head onto your chest. "Tonight you just let me hold you."
You don't argue. You sink into her, letting the warmth and the weight and the steady rhythm of her breathing pull you under.
The last thing you feel before sleep takes you is her lips against your collarbone, and the soft murmur of her voice:
âȘ breaking up with sophia had never been on your listâ but your now ex girlfriend was hard to move on from, especially when you couldn't stay away.
ex!sophia laforteza x ex!fem!reader · explicit sexual content · oral sex · sophia is a little cocky · exes to..? · both of you can't move on · not proofread [mdni]
â kisses to my exes, i know that i did you dirty
A/N || hi hi, i'm back !! <33 missed you. kisses, brooklynn.
another missed call.
of course, she hadnât been keeping her âno contactâ rule very well.Â
you stepped over the threshold, the bass thumping in its familiar extremity, eyes darting to where she should be.Â
your eyes were supposed to be darting to red plastic cups, not to self destructive relationships and a very pretty problem. the one in jeans and your favourite tube topâ the one staring right back at you, like she knew youâd walk in without answering her calls.Â
unwillingly, you moved across the too full room, you werenât going to do anything
right?
your phone felt heavy in your hand, the incessant buzzing wouldnât quitâ but it was better than her sickeningly sweet voice, the one that crept through your mind when you least expected it, late at night when she had you pliable.Â
the kitchen came into view shortly after, a breath you weren't aware you'd been holding leaving through parted lips while your hands gripped the island counter.Â
she knew you were here.Â
you couldnât just break away and pretend like you had missed her entirelyâ another directed phone call was easier said than done.Â
you straightened upâ you werenât sure when your hand grabbed onto the red plastic cup, or when the bitter liquid poured into the bottom.. or when you'd brought it up to parted lipsâ but you had.Â
âmiss me?âÂ
your eyes fell closed, breath hitching slightly as sophiaâs hands slid onto your waist from behind, fingers hooking through the belt loops on your jeans like sheâd done plenty of times before.Â
truthfully, you had missed her. more than you could ever physically explain and definitely more than anything verbal could ever communicate.Â
naturally, you knew you shouldnât go back. it was the same thing with sophia, really. you two fought and apologizedâ mostly foughtâ and by the time all was said and done she would call your phone like clockwork.
'miss me?'
'i want to see you.'Â
'i love you.'
'come back?'
âand if i said i didnât?â you replied, short and clipped.Â
âthen weâd both be liars.â she uttered impressively, hands removing themselves as she leaned back. you bit onto your tongue, turning around and glaring like youâd never before. âwhatâs your problem?â you knew the answer, but you wanted to hear the words leave her mouth.Â
sophiaâs lips curved upwards, âthat i donât have you.âÂ
you let out a humourless laugh, âyou.â you started, taking a step forward. âbroke.â you continued, finger pointing and pressing into her chest to keep her back. âup. with. me.â
her arms folded over her chest, âbaby i was kidding.âÂ
âkidding?â your brow raised, you didnât know why you were trying. she would win anyway.Â
you would let her.Â
sophia inched closer, âplaying. i was playing.âÂ
you rolled your eyes, unamused but not uninterestedâ unfortunately.Â
âplaying. sure you were.âÂ
she stepped over, pushing your half empty red cup away and shifting into the free space next to you, âyou're acting like you're over me.â she pointed out, leaning in close enough to see the way she was impacting you. âi mean, iâve never gotten over you.âÂ
you scoffed and turned away, âright, have fun sophia.âÂ
the girl rolled her eyes, following as you pushed through bodies, âhey,â she tossed her cup into the trash, âi meant it, every word actually. come on baby, i really missed you.âÂ
you stopped, turning around to face her insteadâ realization hitting too quickly.Â
âi know you miss me, itâs why youâre following me around. you know exactly what youâre doing.â sophiaâs tongue swiped over her lower lip, âare you sure?âÂ
you didnât move, eyes trailing over her lithe frameâ you wanted her just as badly, you hadnât ever really gotten over her, you liked to pretend you had though. âwhat is your problem? you canât just push your way back in.âÂ
sophia looked at her nails, smiling at your nonsensical words. âdone?âyou let out a breath, agitated with the girl in front of you. âyes sophia, iâm done.âÂ
âgood, letâs talk.â her fingers wrapped around your wrist, dragging you to the bathroom done the hallâ the one no one really ever occupied.Â
the door shut behind you, sophiaâs fingers slipping away, âyouâre acting like you hate me or something. i know you donât hate me.â her words elicited something inside of you, she could be soft spoken when she truly felt like it.Â
âyou're right, i donât.âÂ
sophia took one step closerâ a safe distance, her eyes still focused on your silver jewelry that never missed when adorned on your skin.Â
âso what are we going to do about it?â she asked, head tilting to the side.Â
âkiss?âÂ
sophia's lips parted slightly, she didnât know what to say but she definitely wasnât opposed to the idea. âthen kiss me.âÂ
your lips pressed up against hers, soft ones touching yours, her tongue swiping against your own. sophia's hands held you close, pushing you into her body as she kissed you deeply.Â
this wasnât your first time, but it had been a long while and sophia wasnât missing out on anymoreâ she already had, she didnât need it to happen again.Â
you broke away from the kiss to catch your breath, your breathing slowing down just slightly. âsoph,âÂ
the girl didnât say anything, she hadn't heard that nickname in ages, she couldn't help herself. she lightly pushed you, your back hitting the locked door, sophia's hands already running up and down your body.Â
her knee moved to settle in between your legs, your stifled sounds increasing whilst her hand guided your hips. her lips fell onto your neck, mouth hovering over your skin, sophia pressing open mouthed kisses to it.
âmove.â she whispered, leaving a kiss by your ear only to help your hips when they began to shift over her knee. your hands rested on her shoulders, head glued to the back of the locked oak door. âsophia..â you uttered, feeling her lips pull back from your jaw, âwho?â she taunted, leaving you to correct yourself.Â
âbaby,â you mumbled as her lips returned to their previous position, leaving marks and all things visible.Â
your hips rolled against her, the friction barely enough. sophia removed herself, hands dragging down your body until they stopped at the hem of your jeans.Â
âyou take long for such an eager girl,â you tested, sophia already rolling her eyes in response, before she dropped to her knees.Â
her fingers worked at taking off your jeans, pulling them down along with your panties after they'd been unzipped.Â
âyou talk too much for someone who wants something she canât give to herself,â sophia quipped, her smile showing through.Â
sophia pushed forward, her tongue licking a broad strip whilst her eyes remained glued to your closed ones. her hands rested on either side of your thighs, softly holding you in place while she pushed her tongue insideâ gently, slowly, just to test the waters.Â
your breath hitched almost immediately, hands tightening around the strands of hair that fell freely to frame her face.Â
âsoph,â you muttered, the bass almost covering the quiet sound. she only hummed against you, her tongue sliding in deeper, working skillfully against you while you shuddered against the woman, desperate for more, for all of it.Â
âplease, i need you.â the desperation in your voice was making her spiralâ and not in a bad way.Â
âis that not what youâre getting right now?â her question was rhetorical of course, and as much as you wanted to say something back you knew it wasnât her who would be losing.Â
so you nodded instead, holding her closer to you with slightly shaky hands.Â
sophia returned back to her position, tongue prodding away at your insides. your soft sounds carried through the locked bathroom, sophia's hands steady on your thighs.Â
you pulled her in closer to signify that you were closeâ intense need pulling at you from inside, something you knew you wouldnât be able to hold in no matter how hard you tried.Â
sophia sensed it too, her pace increasing in speed, her tongue moving with immense ardourâ working, pushing, trying to do all that it possibly could.Â
âsophia!â your whine didnât last long, a sharp cry escaping from parted lips as you finished over her tongue, the girl licking up the small mess left.Â
she pressed a small kiss to your clit, helping you clean the mess as your chest rose up and down, and lifting your panties and jeans exactly where they were before she slid them down.Â
the woman stood up, lips touching yours one last time.Â
ânext time you want me, you better call. i donât really chase after girls.â she walked out of the bathroom, leaving you a panting mess.Â
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If thereâs anything in life that Jake wants, itâs to fuck. All day, every day, itâs on his mind. He fantasizes constantly, watches porn every free chance he gets, and ultimately has grown bored of his own hand to satiate his need.
or the one where jake is inexperienced, incredibly perverted, and borderline addicted to sex but cannot, for the life of him, land a girl.
leave feedback and reblog to give jake another boner.Â
minors do not interact.Â
WORDCOUNTâ 13.8k
PAIRINGâ jake sim x afab reader
CONTENTâ smut, inexperienced but pervy and dominant jake, he kind of has an addiction to jerking off, im not joking like he has a boner every twenty minutes itâs probably a medical issue but, reader is really sex positive and lets jake go absolutely insane on her
NOTEâ not proof read in the way it needed to be. disclaimer: this is straight up just porn. it had a plot at one point but i deleted all of it and wrote this instead. also this is posted on my other blog for mark lee. yes, i wrote it for both of them bc they both fit the shoe ok? ok.
smut tags under cut::Â
smut tagsâ jake isnât submissiveâ just a loser, loads of masturbation, also loads of loads lmfao, jakeâs dick is 8 inches in this one, public humiliation, dirty talk, teasing, pussy eating / face sitting, mentions of free use, unprotected sex, wayyyy way too much cum, raw grinding, attempts at deep throat, accidental face fucking, finger fucking, suffocation, riding, squirting, implications to the fact that orgasms are not the end of the fic bc they just keep going, some say theyâre still fucking to this day.Â
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âFeels so good! Harder! Fuck m-âÂ
Jake slams his laptop shut in an exasperated sigh. Frustrated, annoyed, fucking horny.Â
Always horny. To the point that nothing excites him anymore. Not his hard-on being palmed at by his own hand, not the make-shift pocket pussy heâs made out of household objects, not the porn on page one or on page seventy-three.Â
Honestly, even as hard as he is now, itâs arguable that he could just start punching his cock and heâd still remain in this state until something changes. And you know what sucks more than not being able to get off? Being hard so constantly that itâs just a state of living at this point.Â
Itâs sad. He could be washing caked ketchup off of a plate and his cock would still lend a little jump. A reminder that his hand is no longer enough. A fucking threat that if he doesnât sink into a pretty hole soon, he might as well just kill himself.Â
The idea doesnât seem too bad anymore, as he lays flat on his back with his cock in hand on his messy sheets. He stares up at the ceiling with another long-winded groan, wondering why he has to have such an insatiable libido and probably twice as much stamina. If he could just get off heâd have at least a little bit of time in his day to feel normal before it takes hold of his brain again.Â
Itâs the fact that heâs grown entirely numb to his own hand and feels like heâs going crazy because he hasnât been able to hook-up with anyone in nearly a year. Porn is boring, he swears heâs seen just about all of the good, bad, and bizarre. Post nut clarity barely exists because there is no clarity by the time he finally gets that hard-to-reach nut. Bad luck, maybe. Awful fucking miserable luck? Thatâs more fitting.Â
For the sake of the girls in this city, perhaps itâs good that he canât manage to land a hook-up. Surely theyâd be unable to walk by the time he gets his fill, that is if he manages to get a fill at all. And itâs gotten to the point that Jake has almost entirely given up on finding a girl at all. One thatâs willing to put up with his near-constant need to get his dick wet, anyway.Â
Almost given up.
A thought crosses his mind as he lazily palms himself with a bored sigh, knowing heâll end up locked up in an asylum somewhere if this doesnât stop. The voice of Jay in his head doing little to make his cock soften, which isâŠnot something Jake is proud to admit.
âDude, you gotta put a stop to this shit. This is your third laptop this year!â Jay had said to him. âItâs only June!â
Maybe Jay was right, and maybe Jake should have downloaded the new app that was mentioned shortly after the scolding rather than immediately going to another, even more, shady porn site. âHeard this one was really good.â Jay had advertised. âEven got Jungwon laid.âÂ
Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try another app despite the immense amount of failure Jake has already faced regarding previous attempts with other platforms. After all, if it got Jungwon laid, surely it could get him laid too.Â
Maybe this one really is better.
And at the end of the day, Jake does download the app. After all, creating a profile is easy, finding a girl though?Â
Weâll see.
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Ah. Okay. Nice.
Jake stays glued to his phone all night. He really had no hope that this app would offer him anything more than what the others did. But, oh.Â
The app allows specific features, most of which are not aimed towards users looking for a relationship. Dick and body sizes are out in the open, thereâs sections you can fill out regarding what youâre looking for in a sexual partner, how often youâre willing to see said partner, and if youâre looking for a regular fuck or a one time fuck.Â
Safe to say, Jakeâs profile went a little something like this:Â
you can call me jake, im 24. just looking for a girl either for regular visits or a one night stand thatâs willing to deal with a guy who literally suffers from chronic-boner syndrome.
LOOKING FOR: Female
PREFERENCE: One Time Only, Occasional Meetups, On-call, Regular meetups, Permanent Friends-With-Benefits, Secret Meet, Virtual Meet, Audio Meet, Rebound CâŠ[Click to see more]
PARTNER REQUIREMENTS: N/A
SIZE REFERENCE: 8 œâ hard, 4â soft, 5.6â circumference
SEXUAL INTERESTS: Vanilla, Free Use, BDSM, Begging, Breeding, Dom/Sub, Dominatrix, CBT, Role Play, Public Humiliation, Edging, Spanking, Dirty Talk, Phone Sex, Virtual Sex, Group Sex, Humiliation, Cock Play, Cum Dump, Religion, Raw, Multiple Orgasms, Androgyny, Genital Piercings, Older Women, Body Art, Wax, Anal, Financial Domina...[Click to see more]
NOT INTERESTED IN: Cuckolding, Voyeurism
OTHER: im not very experienced in most of these, i just watch a lot of porn
Embarrassing? Yeah, probably.Â
Looks like a lot of women are into that though if his inbox is anything to go by, anyway. With him checking the app every few minutes to find ten new messages? Yeah, theyâre feeling him.Â
He can only imagine what the fuck Jungwon had on his profile to actually land a hook-up. Couldnât have been any worse than his own, after all, Jake is desperate and so was Jungwon at one point.Â
Apparently girls like desperate guys.Â
Message after message, degrading comments and praise, all from either women clad in leather or sweet looking church girls who must have the app hidden deep within their phones. Thereâs barely anyone in between those two categories, actually.Â
âHi baby boy, you looking for a sugar mama?âÂ
âur dick really that big? lol, what do you even mean by âchronic boner syndromeâ?âÂ
âyouâre so desperate to get laid, might as well just doxx yourself at this pointâŠplease.â
Arguably, these women are very forward and he has a great time sifting through the ones heâs interested in. Scrolling through all of these messagesâŠ.does not help his case regarding his insatiable need to fuck something either so, naturally, heâs also 100% jerking off the entire time heâs doing this.
Still, never quite able to reach the orgasm he needs by this point.
Up until thereâs a message that catches his attention. No degrading, no insults, no borderline-too-kinky insinuations. Which, given, Jake probably shouldnât have selected the majority of the kinks just to pull more girls, but he did.Â
And upon reading the message, he almost doesnât know if this girl is real.Â
âHigh libido, no girls around to help you out, I take it? Rough.â
One look at her profile spikes even more interest. Her sexual interests include a list of things he wishes he didnât fit. But he does, though heâd never admit it. Inexperienced men, losers, virgins, micro-penis, big penis, praise (receiving), body worshipâ
Oh.
Fuck yeah.
He responds quickly, already feeling the orgasm within him bubble up as he tries to pretend he doesnât go on a war path of responding to everyone after you, but still. Your message box with him remains in his mind as he awaits the response to his message of âyou looking to help me out?âÂ
Every ping on his phone afterwards makes his cock twitch more, makes it dribble out little beads of pre-cum with each pass of his palm, only for him to sigh out of frustration that itâs just another person that wants to devour him whole. Which, heâll take what he can get if his first choice never responds but still. He wants to get off to you.
He finds himself on your profile more often than anyone elseâs too, looking at the same three photos youâve posted, noting how you donât seem super active on the app, but active enough to find him by some beautiful grace of God.Â
Youâre kind of perfect, honestly. Fairly mundane compared to most of the women in his inbox, but cool nonetheless. He can tell you have an eye for fashion but it seems to be more geared towards your real life self rather than the secret fetish/kink app youâve got downloaded.
And thatâs the thing. Most of these women, beautiful or not, are dressed in their best sexual attire just to message a possible fuck, while during their daily lives they probably wear conservative dresses and pant suits. WhichâŠ.arguably thatâs kind of hot. Then again, what isnât hot to him these days?
You though. You have normal pictures posted just like he does. Your tits arenât out, your legs arenât open, you donât have a pile of sex toys behind or beside you and yet still your pictures turn him on more than those who do. Insane how his cock twitches at just these three photos, fucking insane how he grows a near instant obsessed thinking about how youâŠuh, deal with the losers you seem to be looking for. Â
Then again, maybe itâs the mystery of whatâs under your clothes, or whatâs in your stash of sex toys. Oh, whatever youâre hiding has got be so fucking hot. Naturally, he groans at the amount of sexuality you barely give. Thinking far, far too hard about it all, given the circumstances.Â
Donât get him wrong, he can get down with the hoes. In fact, he very much wants to get down with a hoe. But man, the way you stand out because youâre somehowâŠ.boring compared to everyone else?
Please.
Fucking pretty please, let him in between those thighs.Â
And just as he scrolls again through your photos, that long-awaited orgasm hits him like a brick.
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A mere two days later you find yourself in the inbox with the self-proclaimed boner-god. Heâs since proven his size with photos involving different objects beside said penis, and even a video or two of his frantic hands jerking off to you.Â
Ah, heâs kind of perfect if you think about it. At first you thought that it was just roleplay for him or something. Where he plays a guy who canât get enough, though he clearly probably does. It wasnât until you were woken up at four in the morning with him spamming your inbox that you suddenly realized this dude is actually as desperate as he seems.Â
Normally, being spammed awake by your phone pinging consistently would bother you. But goddamn was he needing it. Just three hours before now it was mostly casual conversation with him, albeit about hooking-up, but still. The two of you agreed to determine on the following day if you were compatible enough for a meet up. He said goodnight to you, and you said it back.Â
Then you woke up to three dick pics, one voice note with a borderline pathetic apology (only because you could still hear him going at it), and then like fourteen messages of him trying to wake you up intentionally.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: You awake?
Dick pic #1.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: Youâre so pretty, sorry lol
Dick pic #2Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message:Â Wake uppppppppppp!Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message:Â Please? :(
Dick pic #3, precum smeared across his fingers as he grips it.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message:Â Do you already have me silenced?
JAKE_02 sent you a message: Iâd let you silence me hahahaâŠ.
JAKE_02 sent you a voice memo: âSorry about all this, I really meant it when I said I have a problem. You should probably just block me because Iâm going to end up begging to see you otherwiseâ
Oh, he has an accent.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: your profile says you like inexperienceâŠ..well iâve only slept with like 3 girls, is that inexperienced enough?
JAKE_02 sent you a message: do you like to tease guys like that? like edge them and stuff?Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: oh damn, thatâd be so hotÂ
JAKE_02 sent you a message: do you like it when guys beg btw?Â
Etcetera.Â
And, well, apparently he just has a lot to say. Itâs cute how embarrassed he must feel basically getting himself off with a one-sided sext session with you as you were sleeping. At least, you hope heâs embarrassed.Â
You let his messages simmer for a while, waiting to see if he sends anything else. And when he doesnât, you respond.Â
YOURUSERNAME: that was cute.Â
Itâs the way heâs instantly trying to respond that really gets you going. You chuckle first, knowing already that youâd probably help him out based on this situation alone.Â
YOURUSERNAME: trying to wake me up because you canât stop touching yourself? :( poor baby.Â
JAKE_02: oh god please donât say that
JAKE_02: im gonna end up awake all night trying to get it to go down again
YOURUSERNAME: thatâs good to hear. so you can go for a long time then?Â
Yes, youâre teasing him.Â
JAKE_02: if youâd let me
YOURUSERNAME: you already got off tonight tho, didnât you?
JAKE_02: i donât think you understand just how bad it is. iâm already getting my dick out again
You lend yourself a sly chuckle after a deep yawn, knowing for a fact that youâre about to make him prove to you that heâs either still hard or really did get off only to get hard again by a mere few messages from you.Â
YOURUSERNAME: show me?
And he does. Similar to the other three photos, only this time he sends a short video with his shorts pushed down his thighs and his cock raging hard and pathetic against his stomach. Again, heâs big, that much is true, but the fact that such a dick is always ready to fuck? To the point heâs desperate? To the point heâs embarrassing about it?
YOURUSERNAME: how bad do you wanna bury that in me?
Oh, shit. Jake could fucking die right now. You seem so willing, which is truly what he needs at this point in his sexual sickness. Â
JAKE_02: iâll come over right now.Â
JAKE_02: let me come over and show you
YOURUSERNAME: letâs wait a bit for that, gotta meet officially before I let you fuck me
And you do intend to make him wait, knowing for a fact that youâre not meeting this guy tonight. Thereâs too much danger in that. Given how desperate he actually is, you can argue that if you changed your mind upon meeting, he very well may not care. Which, thatâs something you need to worry about with any person you meet on such an app, but still.
Public meeting first.Â
Always.
JAKE_02: right, right, that makes sense.Â
JAKE_02: so can i see your pussy then
You stifle a laugh as if the man can hear you, heâd probably like that though. But yeah, no. As much as you know heâd enjoy that, itâs best to let him experience it for the first time in real life if all of this goes well. So, you settle with tits.Â
Meaning, he has to settle with them too.Â
And the photo is all but enough for Jake. The ping of his phone was far too exciting with the flash of the image sinking into his eyes. Sure, he wanted to see your hole open for him, he wanted to see your pretty hands spreading your lips for the picture, he wanted to see what he might get to fuck into somedayâ butâŠ
This is good enough for him, honestly. Seeing your tits alone is hot enough, but itâs the fact that you only barely let him see. The plush skin of your lower breasts are peeking from under the shirt you're wearing, one nipple barely out, the other completely hidden.Â
He moans out at it, holding his cock tight and painfully as he glares into the screen of his phone. God, he can almost taste it.Â
JAKE_02: thats so hotâŠbutâŠ.
JAKE_02: pussyâŠ.
JAKE_02: please show me your pussy
Another chuckle at how desperate he really is. You lower your phone just a bit, not at all intending to show him all of it but you do lend a panty shot with your legs spread. Heâll live with it, he doesnât have a choice.Â
And he does live with it because he cums almost instantly upon seeing just your thighs open. He wouldnât have been able to hit climax so quickly had you already had this photo posted for all to see. Itâs the fact that you sent it to him in the dms. Itâs the fact that you presumably just took it for him. Itâs the fact that he can almost see the outline of your folds, and the lines of your pussy that deserves to fucked open.Â
When he doesnât respond immediately, you know it was enough for him. Already youâre preparing to roll back over and get some more sleep, but your phone dings again.Â
JAKE_02: tht was hot lolâŠ.um
JAKE_02: can u come to the mall tomorrow? i work at [redacted store name], u can come see that im actually very normal if u want
You stop for a second through another yawn, thinking long and hard about it. You shrug to yourself because tomorrow is a saturday and thereâs plenty of public spaces to meet him in. And despite how fun it could be to tease him for weeks on end before officially meeting him, you, yourself, have been in a dry-spell lately.Â
And he fits your interests perfectly. In other words, yeah, you could fuck.
YOURUSERNAME: you sure youâre not gonna take me in the back and fuck me on the spot?Â
JAKE_02: âŠ.would u want me to?Â
YOURUSERNAME: no, i wanna bring you home if i think you could make me feel good
JAKE_02: hahah damn
JAKE_02: so youâll come see me?
YOURUSERNAME: yeah, iâll come see you
JAKE_02: ok cool :)
And then itâs silent for a long while. In fact, youâre nearly asleep again when your phone pings one last time. All you need to see is the notification to know that meeting Jake is gonna be fun.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: for the recordâŠi definitely will fuck you good
Sounds promising.Â
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You knew he was cute but holy shit, heâs like, cute cute.
Fucking handsome and charmingly cute.Â
Perhaps even, hot.Â
You stand from around a shelf to check him out. That same accent youâve heard previously rings loud and clear in your head, and his hair is definitely a stylistic mess, the type of hair you can imagine grabbing and tugging to guide a tongue between your legs. His eyes are pretty and piercing yet equally as filled with some sort of wonder. His hands, his body.
 Oh wow.Â
On any other day, youâd think heâs just some poser emo-guy working a shitty retail job so he can buy his first guitar and play it totally out of tune. But on this day, youâre aware that this is a man with a need that you very much wouldnât mind satisfying.Â
 Seeing him go about his work tasks behind the counter is another thing. Checking customers out both through the register and with his eyes when they walk away. You know he isnât aware that youâve actually shown up, and it feels nice to watch him in his element before he attempts to play himself up as a totally normal, cool dude. Especially now that you can see him secretly be a pervert on the clock.Â
Customer after customer, he smiles at them when he hands them their items, he offers small talk and little chuckles that ring in your ears, and every single time one of the pretty ones walks away, his head turns to watch them leave for a few seconds too long.
Anyone can tell he needs it if they watch him for long enough.Â
Youâre not sure why this guy is getting to you the way he is, but thereâs just something about the way that he carries himself in public that turns you on. You already know for a fact that heâs a horny motherfucker. You know that behind those charming smiles and laughs, heâs got a neglected cock needing to be used.Â
No one else in this store is aware of it. Youâre the only person here who knows he was spamming a stranger last night with dick pics and begging to see her pussy.Â
Itâs hot.Â
And when you approach, Jake nearly doesnât even know itâs you at first.Â
âHi, did you find everything youââ Jake stops mid sentence. âOh, fuck. Youâre here.â He adds, trying to primp his hair into a spot that may look a little better than it did already.
You watch as he studies you for the first time, nervously darting his tongue out and against his bottom lip just for a split second before shifting his eyes behind you, and then turning to look around to see if anyone is within ear shot.Â
No one is paying attention to either of you, and no one is going to hear what youâre about to say to him. Good.
âDo you wanna see my pussy?âÂ
Itâs a joke, mostly. Kinda.Â
You chuckle at his stunned reaction. His hands move to the counter as he clutches it and continuously looks around to make sure no one just heard those lewd ass words from a girl so goddamn hot. Like, oh god, itâs you. You really showed up to see him and already heâs not acting normal.Â
No, no. Youâre the one acting out of pocket, not him.
âIâmââ He tries to start, but his voice cracks in a very, very, embarrassing way. You hear him clear his throat before continuing. âIâm supposed to be showing you that Iâm normal.âÂ
You tilt your head at him playfully, leaning against the counter and pushing your tits together with your arms. You wore this shirt here for a reason, and boy are you glad you did. You watch his eyes go straight to your chest and stay there.Â
âPublic Humiliation.â You echo one of his sexual interests to him from his app profile. âDirty talk.â
Jake swallows around his words in stunned silence, feeling his cock wake up immediately. Fuck, this is the only place he finds peace of mind fromâŠthat. Yet here you are, with that soft and pretty voice reminding him of everything he wants but hasnât been able to have. Standing there like you know he canât bend you over right now and make you stop talking.
âEight and a half inches hard.â You continue, leaning in even closer and moving your hand to the collar of your shirt. Tugging down just a little bit. âFive point six inch circumference.âÂ
Jake squeezes his eyes shut as he leans back with a sigh, pressing his hips against the counter for some sort of relief. To think the âboringâ girl on the app wouldnât be like this? God, he knew there had to be a catch considering you were on that app to find him in the first place.Â
âPleaseââ He groans as his ears redden, lazily opening his eyes to look at your tits again. âPlease donât do this to me.âÂ
âI can imagine youâd fit it in me just right, wouldnât you Jake?â You continue briefly, noting the bulge he blatantly presses against the counter. âCan you say âpleaseâ again? Itâs kinda hot.âÂ
âPleaseââ Jake blatantly groans now, his voice sounding hoarse and low. As much as he wants you to keep going, heâs at fucking work. He canât be doing this.Â
âOkay!â You gleefully agree as you switch up like you didnât just fuck him up, lending him a bright and innocent smile as you lean back and away from him. âSo you donât want to see my pussy then?â
His relieved face falls right back into that of pained frustration as he narrows his eyes at you.Â
âRight now?â He asks curiously, nodding his head without realizing it. Sure, heâs at work but likeâŠ.your pussy is also at his work place right now.
âYeah! Can you show me to the fitting room, actually?â You ask, louder this time in case anyone has moved around within ear-shot by now. Canât make him lose his job, or whatever.
Jake swallows thickly with a nod, his eyes still narrowed at you but his mind racing a mile a minute at the fact that youâre really here right now, and this is what youâre doing to him? Enjoying his pain? Enjoying his suffering? Making it worse?Â
Five minutes ago he was perfectly fine. Youâre using his need against him and god, he loves it. Yeah, maybe he will take you to the back and try to fuck you at this point. Even if you said that you wouldnât let himâŠwhat the fuck is this then?Â
Really, he expected you to show up with an awkward hello and irritating small talk. He wanted to show you that heâs not always thinking about sex. Except he is, and it seems you want him to. You want him to think about fucking you.Â
You really just walked into this establishment and asked him if he wants to see your pussy.
Of course he wants to see it. You already fucking know that. He wants to fuck it too, like, right now.Â
And as he walks you to the fitting room, he has to try his damndest to adjust his growing cock. He nods to each customer as he walks by them, hands repeatedly going back to his lap to hide what heâs packing.
âHere it is.â Jake says in an unfocused voice, nearly staring a hole through you. âNow show me.âÂ
You dip your head in a smile, heading for the room and opening the curtain. Cheap ass store, really, most places have actual doors, but whatever.Â
Itâs easy to step inside and leave the curtain skewed a bit, knowing that Jake is hovering around the room, knowing that itâs probably protocol that an employee assist this space when itâs in use to prevent stealing and to prevent others from walking in on naked customers.Â
You like the way you see him take peeks, trying to be discreet. You like the way he keeps his hands in front of his lap, hiding that youâve definitely made him a mess of him already. You love the way he whispers a curse to himself when you sit against the bench in this small room and spread your legs wide open.Â
You bet he loves the skirt youâre wearing for him today too. Though this wasnât exactly planned or anything, you didnât expect to be this turned on upon seeing him act as desperate as he sounds. You wore this shirt so he can look, and the skirt tooâŠbut looking this much wasnât in your mind originally.Â
Heâs hot though. The way he needs it is hot.Â
âHurry up.â He groans, trying to make it seem like heâs frustrated but you know itâs just because heâs anxiously horny.Â
And, well, youâre not actually gonna show him your pussy, but at this point you feel bad because he seems really stiff right now, almost robotic in the way he likely feels uncomfortably aroused in his least favorite place. Â
âJake,â You whisper-chuckle. âIf you wanna see it, youâre gonna have to come in here and take my panties off of me.â
You hear him sigh, and see his eyes flick back to you through the small open space in the curtain.Â
âYouâre insane. I canât come in there, Iâll lose my job.â He argues with a hushed tone, eyes fixated on the very panties he wishes he could remove.Â
Even against his protests though, he reaches an arm in as he looks away. As if on extreme watch of other customers and employees roaming around. Probably pretending to grab a garment that doesnât work for you, probably just doing normal, good-employee things.Â
And, well, itâs pathetic really, the way he hopes for more. The way you offer more knowing he canât get exactly what he wants. You actually feel a bit bad for doing this, especially because it wasnât entirely in the plan.Â
You really were just coming to meet him. Itâs not your fault that watching him work turned you on solely because you know what he needs. So, you stand and walk towards the curtain, grabbing his arm and holding it in place.Â
âWellââ You start, pressing yourself against the backside of his fingers, feeling him move his hand slightly against your clit. âTouch it then.â
He goes entirely silent but you feel the way he fumbles his hand, immediately grabbing your panties and moving them to the side just to really feel. And you let him, finding it somehow cuter in the way he doesnât even ask. He does it like he needs to, like itâs instinctual to touch it. He feels for a second or two, probably closer to about five seconds before you step back. Really, itâs enough for him to know youâre wet, enough for him to suffer, enough for him to want more.Â
Jakeâs brain is on fire at it. Touching it before getting to see it? Goddamn, youâre so fucking mean.
And itâs silent for a few more moments after that as Jake keeps his hand in place, seemingly searching for a pussy just out of reach when you slide the fabric down your legs and place them directly into his hand.Â
âWhen do you get off work?â You ask slyly now, ripping the curtain open and moving his hand for him, forcing him to shove your panties in his pocket.Â
âUhââ He stutters, swallowing again around his words before clearing his throat of the moan he really needs to let out right now. âSevenâ I get off at seven.â
You nod with a smile, leaning in real close before patting his pocket.Â
âIâll text you my address.âÂ
And you leave without sparing him another glance, knowing that by the time his shift is over, heâll probably pounce the second you open your door for him.Â
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Jake suffers through the rest of his shift aggressively trying not to suck on his fingers. Fuck, he wants to taste you so bad, but to go as low as sucking the remnants for several hours just to hold him over? Truly, heâs at his wits end.Â
Mostly because he absolutely does suck his fingers any chance he gets. Tapping his lips with them as he sees a customer off, licking against them discreetly, trying to make it look normal for him to have his fingers in his mouth so consistently.Â
Itâs not doing anything to hold him over though.Â
He keeps glancing at the clock, and then at the message that reads your address. Just one more hour and he can leave. Just one more hour and he can bury his cock so deep into you that youâd never think twice about letting him do it again, and again, and again.
Oh god, really, he feels like heâs going insane as he checks out customer after customer. Every word they say somehow reminds him that heâs about to finally get laid again.Â
âCan you wrap this up for me?â One customer said to him, nodding to a set of candles.Â
Jake wishes youâd wrap him up in that pussy.Â
âDo you have this in a bigger size?â Another customer had said to him as they held up a plush sweater.Â
Jake doesnât think youâd ever need a dick bigger than his. Heâll fill you up just right.Â
â69.99?!â One customer argues. âThe sign said it was 30% off!âÂ
Jake would sixty nine you all night long if you asked. He bets you taste sweet, you probably get really wet too.Â
And by the end of the night, rain pounding on the roof, his last customer unfortunately has to hear a low groan leave his throat at their comments. Heâs very quick to cover it with a cough.Â
âSorry for coming in right before you close, the rain is bad tonight and I forgot my umbrella, thank god you guys sell them! I didnât mean to drip all over the floor like this, I hope you donât have to stay late cleaning up my mess!âÂ
âI didnât mean to drip all over your floor like thisâ Replays in his head, over and over again. God, heâd make you drip. He hopes you drip all over the floor for him. Heâd get on his knees and lick it right up, god.
He needs to leave. Right now.
âSâall good,â Jake shakes his head after the initial moan and cough cover, trying to remain casual. âItâs my job to clean it up, after all.â He smiles, his brain stuck on the feeling of how wet you were when he touched you. Shiiiit. âHave a good night, stay dry!âÂ
And finally, Jake can close out his register and lock the doors. That, he does. Performing his end-of-night tasks at lightning speed with a cock throbbing so bad that he worries he might have to get off in his car before making it to your apartment. He genuinely needs to get off, especially knowing these pretty panties are in his pocket ready to be soaked in his cum.Â
He doesnât though, no. He holds off, thrusting his hips up and against the inseam of his pants with every passing second as he drives. Heâs practically writhing by the time he gets to your place. Honestly, he moans with each movement because heâs sensitive. Itâs so, so fucking sensitive. Everything feels good, he could genuinely cum the second you open your door if heâs not careful.Â
Careful isnât something Jake can be at this moment though, not when he lands a single knock at your door and youâre immediately opening it, looking at him with that same fucking evil smile you gave to him while he was at work.Â
He looks at you and instantly lets out a frustrated moan before stepping in without another word. You feel his hands grab you much harsher than you originally thought he would, but you let him as you laugh out in a nervous chuckle.Â
âHello to you too.â You pat him on the back as his arms wrap around your middle. You hear him kick back against your door, slamming it shut before his lips hit your neck.Â
He isnât talking but goddamn you can hear what he needs to say through the way he presses his lips against you. Heâs rough with it, kissing all across your exposed skin before slipping his hand right between your legs from the back as if he doesnât have to chase anymore.Â
You were going to jerk your hips back to make him chase, but his grip is too tight and heâs nearly lifting you off the floor entirely to get a feel. You were going to force him to look at you and the outfit you changed into for him, but again, heâs not having it, it seems. He moans when he moves his lips up and against yours, hot breath desperate and needy as he finally speaks.
âDid it turn you on to torture me like that?â He nearly growls against your lips. âGot me so fucking hard.âÂ
Youâre genuinely surprised with how heâs acting and talking. Then again, heâs desperate, that much is obvious if that monster bulge rubbing against your leg is anything to go by. Perhaps he may be desperate, but you guess that doesnât always mean someone will end up submissive as a side effect.Â
âIt did.â You smile against his lips, pushing yourself forward to try and plant your feet back on the ground, chasing the ability to gain control over him. âDid you like that?â
Jake nods before shaking his head, allowing you to push forward, loving the way your hands reach for him and run through his hair before tugging. He did like what you did, but it doesnât change the fact that it was fucking torture to stand there at work like he wasnât losing his mind.Â
âIâd like it more if we skip all the bullshit,â He starts, hand still attempting to reach the spot between your legs and lips landing at the corner of your mouth. âCould go all night.â
You nod to him, gripping his shirt and pulling him back to your living room couch and spinning him around, only to shove him back.Â
âIs that a promise?â You ask, looking at the lazy way he spreads his own legs and rests his head against your couch cushions, eyes staring straight at you and cock twitching in his pants. âYou gonna fuck me all night?â
âYeahââ He breathes as if heâs in disbelief, hand reaching between his legs just to grab himself and squeeze as his eyes trail your body. âYou have no idea how bad I need this.â
âShow me then,â You nod your head to his length thatâs hidden under his pants. âLet me watch you first.â
Jake groans, rolling his eyes back both out of frustration and arousal, but he does as you say. His palm feels better with you watching, at least. He doesnât feel so numb to the pleasure with you promising your body to him, at least. He doesnât mind proving his size to you by shoving his pants down to his thighs and presenting said neglected cock to you either.Â
Itâs heavy, dark in color due to the blood thatâs likely rushing throughout every inch of it. He feels sensitive to even the air in your living room as he twitches and aches to hear you talk again, to see you in front of him watching how he pleasures himself, wishing his hand is yours.Â
âYou wanna watch?â He says in a low-rumbled voice, tracing his fingers along the head of his cock and seething out a breath through his now, bitten bottom lip. âWanna know how tight I want you to feel?â He asks now, bold and in the heat of the moment. You watch him when he squeezes the base of his cock tightly, you can almost feel yourself choke at that alone.Â
âHow wet you need to be to take it?â He continues, dragging his hand back and licking his palm before spitting into it.Â
The wetness against his hand is horrifyingly pornographic. So wet when he reaches back down to his length, allowing you to hear it squelch and slip with ease. His breath is hitched while he does it too, which nearly has you seeing him in tunnel vision.
âYeahâŠâ You tune into him entirely, swallowing around the lump in your throat and feeling yourself drip already. âI canât imagine how goodââ You cut yourself short to moan at the way his other hand holds his pants down while he jerks his hand up faster and faster. âOh god, youâreââ
âWanna see how fast I can cum just looking at you?â He continues, hand only moving faster and faster as his grip tightens more, shamelessly grunting proudly over how he could probably cum now if he wanted to. âI told you, I can go all night.â
You pause, because goddamn. You thought he would be embarrassing, pathetic, needy. You thought he would beg, plead, and cry. ButâŠyou feel like youâre the one who needs to do that. God, youâve never seen a man so desperate to fuck yet be so powerful about it. As if heâs in your face whispering, âYouâre gonna let me fuck you, right? Youâre gonna love it too, right? Youâre gonna let me use you to take care of this little problem of mine, right? Itâs what you want, right?â
If he were to say those things to you right now, youâd nod without a doubt. ButâŠhe doesnât. He simply looks at you now, heaving out broken moans that sound too sexy to be considered pathetic. His hips chase each movement of his hand and goddamn does he fuck his fist hard.
Your mind is spinning watching him, knowing that heâs probably going to fuck you twice as hard as he fucks himself. And itâs not surprising to you at least that you can feel your own clit swell and throb for touch too. You easily move your hand between your legs, standing right there in front of him, toying with yourself as if you donât have the power to ask him to do it for you.Â
âAh, fuckââ Jake groans, thrusting his hips up into his hand one last time before strings of his cum make a mess on his shirt. And it seems to go on forever too, spurt after spurt of it pumping out of him alongside his pretty moans and open-mouthed expression. You can feel your body react to him more than it ever has for anyone else, especially in the wayâŠ.
âGodââ You moan yourself now, watching him spread his legs and slouch more against your couch with a relieved sigh from his messy orgasm. ButâŠhis cock doesnât soften. No, it stays stiff and heavy against his stomach, twitching and dribbling more and more of his cum out in little beads.Â
The proof of his issue is right here, he really can and probably will go all night. And you say nothing else to him after that. In fact, he wouldnât be able to answer you if you did say something simply because you find yourself stepping up onto your own couch, resting your knees against the back of it, and gripping his hair.Â
Jake lets out a half-moan-half-hum, as expected, when he feels your hand drag his face under your skirt. You didnât have to do that, but goddamn does he fucking love it. He loves how he can feel your knees buckle and force you to balance on the couch, loves how your cunt is just as needy as he feels, fucking adores the way you drip all over his tongue when he pushes your panties to the side and starts licking you up.Â
Itâs the fact that he didnât even have to ask you to put it in his face. The slight taste against his fingers all night at work is nothing compared to the way you drown him now. He needs to do this for you. Hell, he needs to do this for himself.
âJesus,â You breathe, rolling your hips on his mouth. Heâs truly eating you like his life depends on it. You can hear his muffled hums at the taste, you can feel his shoulder shake as he starts jerking off again, you can feel the way his tongue goes deeper and deeper, licking each clench of your walls, only to pull back and suck the wet from your panties in a deep breath.Â
He coos at it too, as if heâs in love with the moment, as if he truly canât believe heâs finally got a pussy to lick. And he swallows each mouth full of your slick before muttering curses and promises against your swollen little bud.Â
âPlease,â He moans, nipping and licking against you. âBeen so long since Iâve eaten pussy, rub it on me- fuck-â he continues to babble, heat-of-the-moment-talk coming out as far more arousing than cringe if you listen hard through your ringing ears. âCome on,â He continues, now neglecting his own cock and gripping your ass with both hands, shoving you back and forth on his face in painfully slow and harsh grinds. âCome on, harder.â
As if you can function at all right now with how rough he is about trying to pleasure you? Fucking hell, the words ignite something in you as you pull back and away from him. For a split second, you see his blown out pupils and fucked up hair as he licks his lips and presents that shining lower-half of his face to you.Â
You donât look for long though, no. Because youâre too busy pushing him to the side and forcing him to lay back on the couch instead. You resume your position afterwards, straddling the couch on either side of his head with your knees and planting your pulsing cunt right on his eager tongue.Â
âYouâre too hot,â You moan, feeling his hands go straight back to your ass to force more of those harsh grinds against him. âIf you could see yourself right nowââ Your eyes roll back in pleasure as you feel his moaned out chuckle hit you right in the clit. Itâs like he knows he makes you feel good, but does he really?Â
Does he truly understand how fucking good at this he is?
 âGod, if you could feel how good your tongue isââ You continue, now losing yourself in the heat of the moment, feeling his fingers nearly bruise your ass with the death-grip he has on you.Â
He nods his head in what little space he has as he spirals into heaven behind his eyes. The smell of you suffocates him, the taste of you drowns him, the weight of you is nothing short of sexy as hell. This is all he could ever want. A pretty girl using and abusing his face, much like he wants to do to you. But oh, thereâs so, so much he wants to do after so long of having no one but himself.Â
Eat you out, finger fuck you, slide his cock down that pretty little moaning throat of yours, grip that hair and kiss those tits. God, he wants to do everything right now but he canât bear to push this perfect clit off of his lips. He cannot fathom losing the taste of you and the way you clench around the tip of his tongue.Â
Oh fuck.
âAhh- '' Jake moans open-mouthed against your clit as his brain hits a wall, his cock standing stiff from behind you as he spills out against himself again. Untouched completely, he cums without any effort where as previously it took him hours just to get off because heâd grown so fucking bored of everything.Â
Youâve ignited him. His drive is higher than itâs ever been after being neglected for so long. God, he wants to fuck you so full that you canât bear to leave him.Â
âFuckââ He continues, trying to lend licks between his jerking body to keep your arousal peaked. âSee how bad I need it?âÂ
He finally manages to pull back, feeling you lift from his face just for a moment after noting the way his entire body is shaking. Heâs not having it though, as he cranes his neck in chase of your dripping hole once more.
âWhere do you think youâre going?â He adds now, enveloping his lips around your clit again and using both hands to force you right back down on his face.Â
There, you feel the way he almost passionately makes out with your pussy. As if heâs thanking you for a second orgasm within the past ten minutes. As if he truly canât stop wanting to fuck something, someone, anything at all.
Goddamn, what a fucking deal. All hail the hook-up app that brought this insatiable sex beast to your apartment.
âJakeââ You start, grinding down for him and feeling his hands now move to rub up and down your back. âKeep your tongue in me.â You choke out, gripping his hair to hold his face in place as you sit his tongue inside of you, short and jerky thrusts forward to bump your clit against his nose.Â
Heâs gotten off twice now, itâs your turn.Â
And you watch as he drops his arms from you and grips your outer legs through it, letting you use his face until he canât breathe. Both of you are seeing stars through it, your orgasm bubbling up so quickly that you can barely warn him when your hips halt in a stiffened clench and heâs finishing the job for you.Â
Your legs squeeze around his head, your fingers pull his hair, and still he manages to find the space to tilt his chin up just to tongue-fuck you deeper, just to rub his nose harshly against your clit, up until he feels your quivering pussy spill all over his chin, down his throat, stealing any breath or moan he could possibly give right now.Â
Youâre out of breath by the time you finally slide off of his face, your hands immediately shooting to both of his cheeks as your sensitive clit drags down his stomach for the easy position change. You wince when you lick against his lips at the sensitivity, being sure to seat yourself right against his cock.Â
âHahââ Jake lends a breathy laugh against the way you lick his lips, his hands going right back to your ass and landing a sharp slap to it. âCouldnât even get our clothes off first.â
You take a second to pull back and look at him, noting the redness against his cheeks and nose, likely from your panties consistently getting in his way and then you chuckle back at him. Youâre thankful for the short break the two of you seem to be taking at the moment. Still, you lift up from him just to remove your shirt, exposing your tits in an instant solely because you didnât wear a bra for this exact purpose.Â
Heâs still hard, despite two orgasms. You feel him rubbing it against you every few seconds, right up against your saliva and cum-soaked panties which, mind you, are insanely uncomfortable right now. It feels as if theyâre slicing through your thigh with the force of how Jake managed to keep them shoved out of his way.Â
âJust lay back,â You smile at him, allowing him a longer rest for now as you take it upon yourself to remove the barriers. âLet me take care of you now.â
Jake has hearts in his eyes as he watches you. Normally, a girl would already be falling asleep after all that, leaving him with not enough orgasms and no actual fucking. Itâs not his fault he could do foreplay for upwards of three to four hours before going for the finale. Which, arguably, can and will last several hours longer.Â
Still, you appear to not be finished either, with your breathless smile and gentle hands. He bites his bottom lip through a smirk as he watches you, tits on full display to keep him satiated for now as you move around on the couch to get his pants off of him. He helps a bit with a little kick, his cock still so sensitive and pathetically weeping for more. He feels lucky to have found you, almost baffled that he may have met his match.Â
You lend several glances at his cock, not quite realizing the way heâs blinking at you right now. To be fair, itâs only natural to have your attention on that thing right now. You swallow around your nervousness regarding the size but equally want him to fuck you senseless with it. You already feel entirely fucked out, butâŠthat. Oh, that could change your life, probably. You can imagine he wonât be as gentle as you expected before all of this too. Would probably shove it in all in one go and lose his mind at the feeling.Â
Heâs probably going to split you open and make it feel good for you too. Somehow.Â
Anyway, enough of that. Youâve still got to get his shirt off, your uncomfortable skirt and panties too.Â
You make quick work of it, as you stand to your feet and expose yourself entirely to him. Jake just watches, humming and moaning at each new expanse of skin you show to him. He keeps his hands to himself though, likely so used to feeling of them that theyâd bring no pleasure at this moment if he were to jerk off to you doing this. And you justâŠlook right back at him.
âCome on,â You smile at him again, lending your hand out for him to grab. âBedroom will be more comfortable.â
Right. Bedrooms exist.
Jake follows, cock heavy and sensitive against his thigh with each step as he tries to get up close behind you. His eyes stay on your ass as you walk in front of him, and itâs not hard for him to keep his hands on it. In fact, heâs touching you as often as he can, trying to remind himself that heâs with someone right now who actually wants him.Â
You seem to be willing to let him do what he needs tonight, and hopefully it wonât be the only time.Â
You feel him on you, clinging so closely, hands constantly groping, lips always trying to reach the back of your neck and shoulders, to the point itâs actually difficult to get to your bedroom because you want nothing more than to turn around and shove him against the wall, all to try and take him into your mouth just to see if you can.
He doesnât really let you think about that for too long though, because the second you get to your bedroom, heâs grabbing you from behind and lifting you in his strong arms. You writhe in his grasp with playful giggles, feeling the strong hold he has on you, keeping you in place against him as he stumbles forward with a deep inhale into your neck.
Heâs quick to make his way to your bed, dropping you onto it, flipping you over onto your back, and immediately slotting himself between your legs. He hovers over you for a minute, looking directly into your eyes as his hair falls forward.Â
Somehow, youâre more focused on his face than you are of his cock that heâs sliding up and down your core right now. You reach up to his hair, brushing it out of his face and feeling the sticky sweat at his scalp.Â
âCould eat you out again.â Jake mentions, hips thrusting against you but eyes calm and level with yours. âCould lock me up in here and just use me all day if you want.â He continues, partially being serious about it, but treating it as if itâs some kinky joke instead.Â
Because letâs be honest. If thereâs any job Jake could do better than anyone else, itâs be a womanâs fuck toy. Always ready to go, always stiff and horny, always willing to please.Â
âCould slide in right now and let you feel how hard I am.â His voice gets breathier as he talks, and you can tell heâs just imagining everything he wants to do. He probably worries heâll have to go home at some point tonight only to resume his search for potential fucks to keep his need satiated.Â
He probably thinks heâs going to exhaust you.Â
âCould let you do all of that and more.â You respond, lifting your hips just slightly to press his cock between your bodies, throwing your legs around his waist simultaneously with the way you wrap your arms around his neck. âYou want me to lock you up in here?âÂ
Jake nods with a sigh, squeezing his eyes shut as if he can imagine it.Â
âDo you work tomorrow?âÂ
He shakes his head with another sigh, focusing on the way you keep humping up against his length, sliding yourself in whatever way you can against him.Â
âMaybe Iâll just have to do that then.â
Oh, damn.Â
The heart eyes are back. The very thought of being in this room all night and all day tomorrow drives his cock to pulse and twitch. Foreplay can come whenever, fucking can come whenever, he can cum whenever. Thereâs no need for a to-do list. No need for a specific structure of rules on how this needs to happen. Foreplay, sex, sleep. Not with Jake.Â
Sex. foreplay. sex. foreplay. for hours. Heâll keep you up all night if he can, fucking and sucking every part of you, into the morning hours straight into tomorrow night.Â
Free use with you from now until youâre tired of him. You can do anything you want to him but for nowâŠ
âYeah?â Jake breathes out in excitement, arching his back slightly to let his cock land against your hole, and then he pushes forward slowly. The bulbous head spreads your lips and stretches out your slick pussy with ease as he continues to speak. âFeel that?â
Your eyes flutter shut at the sensation, fingernails already digging into his shoulders at the anticipation as your legs loosen around him. He continues to push forward, inch by inch, painfully slow as if he wants you to feel the burn and stretch even while being as wet as you are.Â
âAhââ He confirms for himself as he watches your face, wincing, mouth falling open. âYeah, you feel it.â
God, yeah. You do. You feel the weight of his size inside of you, stretching you open so good he probably wouldnât even have to move for it to hurt. But he does move, he does continue to slide in, savoring every second of your walls quivering and suffocating his cock.Â
âGoddamn,â He groans, lifting up on both arms and bracing himself as he looks down, only to find heâs only slid half of his dick into you, and already youâre about as breathless as he is. âDidnât realize how tight youâd actually beââÂ
He chokes when he says it, sliding out little by little before fucking back in, pushing just a bit more into you.
âSâokay.â You try to reassure him, but itâs more for you than it is for him. You really didnât think a cock could feel so big that it actually hurts, yet, here you are. âIâm adjusting.â
Jake moans at your broken voice, no longer holding himself back to look at your pussy grip him when he pulls out slightly. He looks at your face instead, witnessing how you take all of it in one solid movement from him. All of it, until he can feel his pelvis rest against your clit and your entire body stiffens in a tight hug around his body.Â
âMhm,â He leans back down now, humming against your cheek as he tries to control the urge to fuck. âTaking all of it, arenât you?â
With those words, he slides out slightly before pushing back in again, trying to force your pussy to relax so that he can stop holding his breath. One hand finds its way to your leg to hold onto, the other holding himself up beside your head, and he justâŠwatches.Â
Little by little, he thrusts. Plunging into you in short-tight snaps of his hips just to watch your tits jiggle with the movements, up until he really, really canât hold back anymore.Â
You feel his cock leave you almost entirely, only to slam right back in and cause your vision to go white with a pang of pleasure. Your loud yelp pairs well with his relieved sigh of a grunt, and it appears that this is what breaks him entirely.Â
That single, full thrust, lets him fall forward and nuzzle his nose against your neck and his body just goes. Instinctually chasing the deepest parts inside of you, hitting your cervix with each thrust only to drag back and make your toes go numb at the way your g-spot feels entirely too sensitive with this alone.
And god, Jake loves the way you cling through it. The way you moan each time he bottoms out, the way your nails cut into his back and the way your legs continuously fail to stay wrapped around him. HeâŠ
Oh no.
âI can go all nightââ He breathes out through his relentless thrusts, almost as if heâs pleading with you. âI swear, Iâm not doneââ He continues to cut off his own words with choked moans as he pulls back and leans up, frantically forgetting to apologize over the fact that heâs already about to cum again.
And you feel him try to slide out, that face he made twice before already alerting you that he really must have so much to pump out of himself at this point. You donât mind if heâs about to hit a third orgasm, in fact, youâre glad.
Your legs hold him in place as he fights to pull out, his eyes snapping to you in realization after the second time he tries.Â
âNo fucking way, youâ you want it?â His eyebrows fall into that of a relieved release as he, too, falls right back down against your chest and lets his hips fuck freely.Â
Heâs not controlling it at this point. You feel him stretch you open more through his orgasm, rolling his hips but not pulling out even in the slightest now. Moving back and forth, as if trying to stuff you impossibly full while he releases those thick ropes of cum. ItâŠfeels so good even with the way the base of his cock continues to swirl and loosen you up in a painful stretch that almost feels like heâs ripping you open. Still, the pain is gone as he shakes on top of you, in fact, you feel your clit throb at the feeling of how big he is, of how hard he manages to stay.Â
He didnât even fuck you that roughly before this, but it feels like youâre already ruined. Ruined enough to want more. Enough to need more.Â
âBet that feels good,â You chuckle against his hair, feeling each pulse of him and loving the way he pants against your ear. âNot having to pull out, knowing you can fuck me for as long as you want.â
That only pushes his orgasm to hit harder. He thought he was nearing the end of it, but instead, his body goes into overdrive as more pulses of cum shoot out of him at your words. Thereâs soâŠso much of it he can give you. And if this is what you want, heâs the perfect man to do it for you.Â
âDonât say that, oh godââ Jake mumbles through the end of his orgasm, keeping himself tucked nice and deep into you as he releases his body weight and makes you feel slightly suffocated under him. âPlease.â
Well, he minds his manners well enough, you shrug under him, clenching around his length unintentionally and reminding him that you genuinely can go all night, just like him.
Reminding him that maybe you really will just lock him up in this room all tonight, all tomorrow. He seems into the idea anyway, right? Both of you just free-use sex dolls for the time beingâŠHell yeah.
And as Jake catches his breath, he finally lifts up, pulling you with him, and sits you directly on his lap now.
âKeep going then, donât let it get soft.â He nearly whimpers, solely due to the sensitivity his cock is now offering and the fact that after that third orgasm, he truly is gaining the ability to go flaccid between orgasms.Â
And you follow his direction, though not entirely how he wanted you to. Instead of rolling your hips, you slip him right out of you and sink your face down between his legs, loving the way his cum spills out of you all the while. You donât even say anything, not that youâd need to. He watches you, a smirk forming on his lips as he raises an arm and throws it over his eyes.Â
âShit, Youâre so my type.â He groans out of the sexual frustration that still bubbles within him. You look so good down there with his cock just inches from your mouth. God, no woman has been able to go down on him for too long despite really fucking wishing they would.Â
His hips always lose control, they donât like face fucking, heâs too big to fit, theyâre gagging too much, their jaw is hurting. What the fuck ever. Look at you, blinking up at him like you want nothing more in the world than to take it all down your throat. Ah, fuck, if you did thatâŠ
His hips buck up on instinct, forcing you to hold him down with your arms as you lick your lips.Â
âYou really live up to your promise, you know that?â You smile with warmed cheeks as you speak, blowing air gently against the head of his cock. Itâs softened up a little, but itâs no longer going flaccid. Youâre sure that the second you work it into your mouth, heâs going to be blocking your airways.Â
Good.Â
âYou say that like Iâm not overwhelming you with all of this,â He chuckles as he moves his arm from his face and down to yours. âMost girls would have already sent me home.â
You circle your lips around the bulbous head, tasting the remnants of both you and him as you gently suckle before popping off and licking your lips.Â
âWell, Jakeââ You look back down and lend his cock a little kiss. âIâm not most girls. Besides, most guys get their nut and leave me hanging. Youâve gotten, what? Three orgasms by now? And youâre still in my bed? Wanting me to lock you up tomorrow too? What a fucking win.â
Jake rolls his eyes because you donât even know the fucking half of it. If he were a normal guy, he probably would have done the same thing. Maybe not to you, but to others? Yeah. The thing is, heâs not like most guys. And youâre right in saying youâre not like most girls either, consideringâŠyour sex drive appears to be just as insatiable as his.
âFuck, let me eat you out againââ Jake groans now, needing to pleasure you again, aroused by the fact that heâs basically met a female version of himself. Even if heâs just exaggerating and making himself believe such a woman could exist close enough to him. âLet meâ AhhâŠâ
You cut off his words, dragging a loud and sensual moan from him as you sink down. Mostly to shut him up, mostly so you can return the favor for him from earlier before letting him have another lick of you. After all, you truly do appreciate him for all of this.Â
âMmfââ You mumble unintentionally, feeling each inch of his length that you swallow up pressing your tongue further and further down in your mouth. Up until youâre entirely open mouthed on him, gagging yourself when he hits your throat only to angle yourself up on your knees to point it straight down your throat instead.
It hurts, but you close your eyes in concentration, breathing through each gag, ignoring the dribble of saliva that runs from the corners of your mouth andâ you swallow.
Mostly because you canât suck. Again and again, you swallow around him just to stimulate his length, the girth stretching your lips out to the point you feel your jaw could break, but it doesnât and it wonât.Â
Within an instant of taking his whole length down your throat, you feel his hands in your hair. Your ears are ringing, otherwise you would also be listening to him choke on his words at how youâre doing this to him. All of it. Youâre taking him in full, not leaving an inch out, seemingly proving that your mouth can be fucked just as good as your cunt.
Heâs in heaven, head spinning as you stimulate him through each gag and sputtered out chokes of a moan. He canât help it when he grabs your hair, he really doesnât mean it when he pushes your head down while pressing his hips up. Essentially choking you and suffocating you in full with a paused hold.Â
You brace yourself on his hips when he does this, squeezing your eyes shut and continuously gagging from the way he abuses your mouth with just that small movement, and thenâ he pulls back.
âAhh,â He groans, snapping his hips back and holding you by the hair to keep you from chasing. âYou like that?â He continues, letting you breathe but not answer at all before heâs pushing your head right back down, holding you there again and fucking his hips up repeatedly into your throat this time.Â
The sounds are pornographic at best, concerning at worst. You, searching for air somewhere between his thrusts, the sounds of wet sputters, drooling, whimpered groans from him, and desperate gasps and gags from you. Truly, Jake is in heaven right now. With you, specifically, youâve brought him to heaven.
For you, it feels like he does this forever. Youâre losing the ability to comprehend what breathing ever was in the first place, thankfully though, Jake can see the tears pouring from your eyes and feel the way you fall slightly limp, letting him do as he pleases before he realizesâ he may actually be overwhelming you now.
He snaps his hips back quickly, pulling you up and off of the last remaining inches of his weeping cock before taking a good, long look at your gasped breath and abused lips. Tongue licking out and eyes stained.Â
âIâm sorry, fuck, Iââ
Instantly you press yourself down on him once again, resuming your original position of sliding him in until you canât stand the feeling in your throat, gagging and swallowing around him time and time again. You feel proud of it, proud of the pain, proud of the suffocation.Â
Fucking proud to not be finished with him compared to every other person, apparently.Â
âJesusââ He groans now, his entire body slouching against your bed as he slams his head back and starts petting your cheeks. âItâs like you were born for this. For me.â
You hum around the gags, growing accustomed to swallowing him up and feeling your jaw strain. And just a few moments later, you pull up with a deep breath, a smile, and you start rubbing your jaw.Â
âMaybe I was,â You try to talk dirty, wanting to drive him insane. âYou taste so good.â You add, dipping down again to lick a long stripe up the underside of his balls up to his tip. âAny girl should be proud to say youâd fuck her mouth like that.â
A twitch, he rolls his eyes back and clenches his jaw.Â
âHow are you soâŠâ He breathes out, reaching his hands blindly for you, only to feel you shift on the bed and essentially sit your tits into both of his hands. âperfect?â
You shrug when he opens his eyes, youâre now hovering over him, both hands covering his on your tits as you force him to squeeze and grope.Â
âMaybe itâs best to not ask questions.â You tilt your head playfully. âBesides, if Iâm lucky maybe youâll stop trying to find other girls to fuck. They canât take care of you like I will, anyway.â
Oh, you damn fucking right they wonât.Â
âYou can have it any time you want.â Jake smiles, relishing in your tits warming under his palms, watching the way you hover over him tall and proud on your knees. âCould play with you every day and never get bored.âÂ
You feel him move his hand from under yours, going straight between your legs and sliding not two, but three fingers into you with ease.
âStill so wet too,â He hums, eyes narrowing at you with that same pretty grin. âYou always this horny?â
You shake your head.Â
âNot usually, you just turn me on.âÂ
Jake feels proud of that. He doesnât feel like the odd ball with a dick that canât be satiated no matter how many pussies he plows through in a night. Which, again, for the past year has been a total of zero pussy. You getting turned on by that makes him feelâŠcapable. Makes him feel like maybe he can be put to use by a pretty girl.Â
Makes him feel like his need is wanted and well taken care of.Â
âSo, I can keep calling you?â He asks now, fucking his fingers up, loving the warmth and slide, anticipating for when he gets to bury his cock in you again.Â
âMhm.â You hum, closing your eyes to enjoy the pleasure of how deep even his fingers reach. Kind of ready for him to stop talking and just focus on what heâs doing to you.
âEven if itâs every single day?â He continues to ask, now using his thumb against your clit. âEven if I need you in the middle of the night?â
Anything he wants if he can keep hitting your g-spot like this.Â
âYes, Jake,â You sigh out of aroused frustration, now wiggling your hips to chase that stimulation inside of you. âIâll give you the fucking key to my apartment if you want. Just let you walk right in and start fucking me.â
His fingers move faster at the image, the implication of not just free-use, but true free use. Real free-use.Â
âYeah? Wake you up with my cock sliding into you?â He urges you to keep talking, now removing his other hand from your chest and circling it around his cock. âJust walk right in and get my mouth on you while all your friends are here?â
You lend a surprised chuckle, but pay no mind to his words past the arousal it brings to you. Youâd tell him about how you have a total of like two friends, and half of the time theyâre too busy to show up anyway. Still, the image is hot at the moment. All of it is hot.Â
âYouâd let me?â He continues pressing every button both physically and mentally, unaware of how easy it is for him to talk as if itâs a normal conversation solely because itâs kind of his general state of living at this point. You, on the other hand, are not used to having a full conversation while your g-spot gets abused. âEven if youâre not home? Let you come home and find me fucking myself for you?â
Oh.
âFuckââ You groan out at the image, feeling his fingers reach so perfectly, thinking of how it would feel to walk into your apartment just to see this pretty man chasing that tight ring of fingers his fist creates. Probably so turned on and frustrated that youâre not homeâŠso frustrated that all he could do is drop to the floor and start fucking. âGod, yeah.â
So thatâs what youâre into. You love that heâs that pathetic to fuck. And lucky for you, heâs more than willing to continue to be that fucking pathetic.Â
âDoes that feel good?â He hums now, watching how you fuck yourself against his fingers, lifting slightly to lick against your nipple. âCan I use my cock again?â He babbles almost, brain on constant loop of you actually giving him free reign of your apartment someday so he can come andââPlease, do this on my cock.â
This is the second time heâs asked you to ride it, and you think that may be one time too many. You almost feel guilty for taking him down your throat first, but then again, you donât. Your body vibrates knowing youâre about to split yourself open on him again, only this time having full control.Â
âYou want me to sit on it, Jake?â You smile, thrusting your hips down and sinking his fingers into you so deep that you physically can see his brain malfunction.Â
The frantic nod he gives is somehow less powerful than how he lifts his hips, forcing you higher on your knees as his fingers slip out of you and immediately land in his mouth.Â
Man, this guy must love the taste of pussy. The image of him doing that alone is insanely arousing to you as you lend him a short nod and slide back, your pussy sucking in the head of his cock instantly as if the two of you move together so well, that it was only natural to not need a guiding hand for it.Â
He sinks his head deep into the mattress with the way you try to sink down on him. He holds his breath with those same fingers in his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut at how tight you still are, how wet you still are.Â
And heâs shocked, almost, at the way you just keep sliding down. Not letting yourself re-adjust to his size, holding your own breath and bracing yourself on his abdomen just to keep balance and you wince through the stretch.Â
âThatâs it.â Jake soothes your hips as you sit, clenching around each one of his twitches inside of you. âDoing so good.â He breathes out this time, trying to hold back his moan just for a moment as he awaits your moan first.
And it comes quickly when you lean back rather than against him, arms by his knees as you practically present his cock to him buried entirely into you with this position. He lifts his head and stares at it before reaching his thumb to your clit, immediately pressing hard circles against it.Â
âRide it,â He pleads now. âGod, please ride it.â He loses his mind at the image, really, as you do start moving.Â
Pained whimpers falling from your lips as you circle your hips, fucking just an inch of him in and out of yourself, forcing the deepest part of your pussy to take the abuse more than anything else. And you know he loves it with the way his thumb stops rubbing your clit, with the way he canât decide on if he should look or throw his head back and fall into the sensation.Â
Itâs really cute to witness, and youâd lean forward to kiss him if you had the strength to do it, but you donât. In fact, all the strength you have is currently bubbling up inside of you with a sharp, almost burning sensation.Â
You know exactly what this is. Youâve practiced it time and time again alone in this bed.Â
âOh, oh shit, Jakeââ You groan as you frantically start moving your hips through the full and splitting feeling of him inside of you. Your voice sounds so panicked, it almost scares him. And honestly? Had he not have finger fucked you against your g-spot previously perhaps you could last longer on him, but no.Â
âWhatâ Whatâs wrong?!â Jakeâs voice is broken when he quickly leans up, hugging around you as you continue to ride against him, faster now, chasing, chasing, chasing.Â
Pushing, pushing, pushing.
âNo, no!â You moan out, shoving him back against the bed and now lifting entirely from his length before slapping your own clit, fast, rough circled motions before each slap. âOh, shit!â You nearly yell, witnessing it squirt from your body straight against his abdomen and chest.Â
Jake just watches, mouth agape and eyes wide.Â
âOhââ He stares. âOh yeah?âÂ
And youâre not even done when he seemingly takes full control. Allowing all that squirt to fall out of you, ignoring your shaking legs, tipping you straight back and plunging his cock right back into that release of pressure inside of you.
âYou just werenât gonna tell me you could do that?â He grunts against your ear, fucking into you so hard and so fast that your orgasm just keeps coming. It feels too good to speak, too good to breathe.Â
Even as it subsides and youâre trying to catch your breath, he doesnât let you. He just keeps going, grunting incoherently against your ear, snapping his hips harder than you think heâs probably ever done before.Â
Honestly, with each yelp you let out, your sensitivity goes from being unbearably painful toâ
âDo it againââ He urges you. âGive me another one.â Babbling, cooing, fucking moaning all over your neck until his lips hit yours.Â
Somehow, that gives him exactly what he wants as he feels your legs tense up and fall open around him. Your pelvis slamming into his so hard that itâs, quite literally, splashing out of you in loud and painful sounds.Â
âYeah, yeah, yeah.â He nods and whispers against your tongue, sucking it into his mouth before licking into yours, nearly rabid with the way heâs both kissing and fucking you, he canât help it. He forgot words the second he felt the gush rush past his length, trying to force it out of you only for him to go harder. Like hell heâs not going to feel you literally squirt on his cock. âSo fucking messy.â
At one point, you think you might have actually died. Youâre not sure but you swear you saw him fucking you in third person for two solid seconds before being slammed right back into your body. The pleasure genuinely is so overwhelming thatâŠwell, suddenly you understand why girls probably think heâs too much.
But goddamn heâsâŠso good. Like, you remember him mentioning his body count through his one-sided sext session with you and you can argue his inexperience probably made this that much better. Heâs a fucking natural.Â
And as he continues fucking into you, all you can do is lend him a distant smile. Youâre definitely not experiencing real life at this moment, and you know he sees it with the way he lifts and keeps his eyes on your zoned out expression.Â
âLook at you.â He echoes against your walls. âSo, so pretty.âÂ
And he just keeps doing that, whispering praises, working you through his presumed last orgasm of the night because he genuinely canât not fill you up with his cum one last time before letting you rest.Â
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
The rest didnât last long, but to be fair you didnât need it to. All night, and all day. That promise was kept and Jake remained insatiable throughout all the time he spent with you.
To the point you very nearly felt strange about him leaving. Like youâd grown so accustomed to having someone literally attached to you at the dick that you knew the loneliness and silence would hit you a little too hard once he leaves.Â
And, well, he does leave in a sense, but not completely.Â
Though you never truly meant that offer in the midst of sex-talk, Jake seemed to have clinged to the idea of it. Lock him up, but still give him the key.Â
Never in your life would have imagined giving a person the key to your apartment, and yetâŠthere he goes. Backing out of a guest parking spot in front of your building with your spare fucking apartment key in his pocket right next to those fucking panties.Â
synopsis! after a drunken night of events you canât remember, you find a park sunghoon at your front door with apologies you thought youâd never hear.
wc! 6.4k+
cw! angst (sawry..), toxic!sunghoon kinda, ex!sunghoon, jealous/possessive!heeseung makes an appearance, reader sent nudes while drunk, dom!sunghoon, he's handsy, dirty talk, pnv, oral (f!receiving), riding, no protection mentioned, sunghoon calls reader baby, sweet girl, multiple orgasms, not really much aftercare mentioned, ningning from aespa mentioned
previous > next > break the skin mlst
as your best friend, jayâs approval is almost as meaningful as your own parents.
so during a night out at your guysâ usual hanging pub with a couple of your friends, including your new boyfriend of two weeks, sunghoon, jay gave you an encouraging smile, âiâm glad you two found each other.âÂ
right then and thereâ you knew it. sunghoon was your one and only, it would be detrimental to lose him, especially after jay expressed his happiness towards the two of you.Â
and one of the biggest bonuses, unlike your past relationships, sunghoon doesnât care about you being best friends with jay. heâs understanding, takes his time to know jay as well, disregarding your close friendship with another man.Â
you always saw yourself as a lucky girl to have sunghoon by your side. sunghoon who stayed up late with you, helping you study for a class heâs never even took. sunghoon who found you sitting in the corner of the library alone, your textbook papers wrinkled and dried up tear stains on them. sunghoon who has the most handsomest smile youâve ever laid eyes upon in your whole lifeâŠÂ
to think you lost someone that special makes your heart ache.
jay struggled badly with trying to keep your spirits up, and all your girl friends did their best to drag you out of your room to do even the most miniscule things in effort to get your mind off the breakup.Â
two weeks turned into two months, then one year, then two years. it seemed as if nothing has changed. youâre still happy, right? sunghoon still makes you happy. but youâve never had to question if you made him happy. you supposeâ that was perhaps the first crack in your relationship.Â
then, everything felt so.. stagnant. almost boring, having done everything together until there was nothing else left to do. you think both of you were starting to feel the same way. perhaps the two of you were at different stages in life.
âwhat do you wanna eat for dinner?â you asked, sitting on the couch with your legs crossed as the both of you channel surf.Â
âiâm fine with anything, you can pick.âÂ
you shrugged, âiâm okay with anything too.â
you didnât think itâd be the final crack until everything shattered.Â
his brows furrowed, and you could almost see the agitated vein on his temple. âyouâre okay with everything, as always,â he says, tone laced in sarcasm as a scoff left his lips.
you felt your eye twitch. âwhat was that?âÂ
for a long time, and maybe even the first, a big fight broke out between the two of you. it quickly became a shouting match, fueled with hurtful words that neither of you truly meant.Â
âarenât you tired?!â sunghoon sighed exasperatedly, running a frustrated hand through his messy hair. you felt tears welling up in your eyesâ itâd been so long since you last cried ever since you met sunghoon. youâd never think heâd be the reason for your tears.Â
âno? what are you talking about?!â you argued back, but your voice was starting to lose its fight. âi-i donât know what to do.. are you unhappy with me?âÂ
sunghoon couldnât look at you.Â
âiâŠâÂ
his hesitance said it all.Â
âyou should have said something sooner⊠th-then maybe we wouldnât be here right now,â you mumble quietly, chewing on the inside of your cheek to will your tears from falling.Â
âbut i want to be with you still!â sunghoon pleaded, quickly rushing to you as he placed his hands on your shoulders, his grip tight as if you were about to leave.Â
you donât have the willpower to leave.Â
âyou want to be with me⊠but you arenât happy with me,â you frowned deeply, your head hanging down as you stare at your feet.Â
âi-iâll try⊠i want to be happy with you. i need t-toâŠâ he choked on his own words, his mind reeling for the right words to say.Â
you sniffle, and sunghoon feels his entire world shatter to pieces when you rest your forehead against his chest. âyou should goâŠâÂ
youâre jokingâ he thought. no tears were daring to roll down your cheeks, and that he knows is when youâre putting up an act.Â
he put up a fight. you donât actually want him to leave, do you? but then youâre balling your fists up against his shirt, tugging on the fabric. âi donât wannaâ i canât.. be the reason why you hold yourself back.â
so then what? what was he supposed to do when you seem so desperate to let him go, let him walk out your life? it hurt like a bitch, and the reason for your tears being because of him made it a little easier to leave. in his thought process, he thought youâd stop crying because of him. then maybe, in a week or two, youâll call him again.
but that call never came.
sunghoon waited months for your contact to pop up on his screen, but by the third month, he unwillingly had to let you go. he was angryâ sure⊠maybe it did sound like a real breakup but he thought it was just a hiccup, a bump in the road, like what most couples have. but it wasnât, and he was frustrated that you seemed to let him go so easily.Â
he couldnât.
sneaky texts to your close friends, even jay, to ask how youâre doing. if youâre doing okay. the only one who was really honest with him, the only one who didnât tell sunghoon that youâre âdoing just fine, donât worry about itâ was jay. jay, albeit hesitant to do this behind your back, he knew how much sunghoon meant to you, and seeing your defeated expression everyday wasnât exactly ideal for him.Â
âsheâs not doing well⊠can barely get her out the house,â jay had said over the phone to sunghoon, the former letting out a sigh. sunghoon said nothing back. âyou.. you should probably move on too. this isnât healthy for the both of you.âÂ
sunghoon agreed, then quickly hung up.Â
like hell he would be able to move on from you.
âning? ningninggg~â you slur, eyes squinted to look for your friend, clumsily tripping over some other drunken peopleâs feet. youâre mindlessly searching around the cramped living room for her until you spot the brunette out in the crowd.Â
ây/n, where have you been! iâve been asking everyone where you went,â she frowns with worry, rubbing your arms that are warm already from the alcohol in your bloodstream. you give her a cheeky smile, leaning your head on her chest as you sway her around drunkenly.Â
she laughs at you warmly, playing with your hair as she lets you do whatever for a few minutes until you jump suddenly, grabbing both her shoulders, âi should text him.âÂ
her brow only raises, âtextâŠwho?â her voice slightly teasing, knowing your past nights with a certain roommate and classmate. but then her eyes widen when she realizes who you really meant, and she shakes her head immediately. âno! absolutely not, y/n! give me that fucking phone right now, i swear to god,â she yells at you, but youâre already bolting away from her with your phone in the air.Â
ningning chases you down, gaining stares but youâre too out of it to care and ningning is too busy running after you. you fall over a group of randoms sitting on the couch, and ningning is left to apologize for you. âi am⊠so, so sorryâŠâ she mumbles, quickly snatching your phone as you recover and putting it in her pocket. âmy dear y/n, please get up so we can just go back home. i donât know if i can bare anymore embarrassment.âÂ
safe to say, she dragged you back into her home and forced you to drink water despite your lazy denial of i donât need it! and iâm totally okay!Â
you shift around in the bed, a groan escaping your lips when you feel someone tugging at your arm. ây/n,â ningning shout-whispers, knowing your hangover is probably killing you. you groan again in response, shaking your head and mumbling something around the lines of âfive more minutes, momâ.Â
she rolls her eyes at you, sighing before placing the glass of water down on her bedside table. âi gotta get to class. please drink this water and gatorade here before you leave. i better come back to no throw up on my carpet.â she tells you, albeit knowing that youâre only half listening and are going to forget everything she said ten minutes later.Â
you do get up eventually.. two hours later. you drink the water and take the gatorade with you before cleaning up her room that ningning so graciously let you sleep in. you take an uber back to your shared apartment with heeseung, trudging lazily up the stairs and hallway of your complex. you insert your key to only find that the door is left unlocked, and you frown, ready to scold your roommate of his bad habit of not locking the door.Â
âheeseungâ!â you yell, stepping inside but youâre not met with your roommateâs face. instead, your questionable ex stands by the couch, in front of you.Â
your jaw wants to drop, your eyes want to widen, you want to scream profanities and maybe cry in your room later. but you somehow canât, and you stare at him blankly.Â
ây/n!â your name is called, but with two different voicesâ your ex and your roommate. heeseung comes running out of the hallway, in which you assume he was in the bathroom earlier when you had just gotten home.Â
sunghoon turns his head to look at heeseung, his brows furrowed and a look of disdain on his face. you choose not to question it, knowing the expression heâs wearing all too well, so you move your attention to heeseung.Â
âwhat?â you ask, taking a step towards him as he gestures for you to go with him into the hall with a tilt of his head. you follow, exchanging a quick glance at sunghoon with your lips pursed into a line.Â
âwhat is he doing here?â you whisper, rubbing your temple as the pounding hangover begins to subside, but you think itâs about to come back sooner after seeing your ex in your living room.Â
heeseung rubs the nape of his neck, biting the inside of his cheek as he thinks of a reasonable explanation. he doesnât know much about you and sunghoon, and he actually had only learned that he was your ex this morning. âuhmm⊠he showed up this morning.. and i was coming back from a class and he was just sitting out in the hall. he saw me approach the door and asked if you lived here. i then asked him, who are you, âcause i didnât wanna give out your info! and then he said that he was your ex?? i didnât even know you had oneâŠâ he rambles, mumbling the last part to himself but it doesnât escape your ears.Â
you huff, slapping his arm, earning you an ouch! from him. âwhat the hell! so you knew heâs my ex and you still let him in?! you are a horrible roommate!â you scold, your lips curving into a deep frown.Â
âwell⊠i thought that maybe you two had those exâs but still friends kinda relationshipâŠâ heeseung shrugs his shoulders, giving you an awkward smile to try and save face. âiâm sorry, y/n! please forgive me,â he pouts suddenly, grabbing your hands and clasping them together with his.Â
you roll your eyes before bringing his hands to your lips. his eyes widen slightly, panicky as his eyes dart from the end of the hall to you. but the panic quickly leaves as it arrived, with you biting down on his hand and he hisses in pain. âfuckâ i didnât know you were into biting like that, y/n..âÂ
âshe is. i would know.âÂ
both of your heads sharply turn to the intruding voice that joins the two of you in the hall, sunghoon with his arms crossed against his chest, leaning his side against the wall.Â
heeseung clears his throat after the silence that hung in the air, looking at you with softer eyes than before. heâs insinuating that heâll be here, if anything went south between you and your ex. you give him a curt smile and nod, and heeseung takes a quick peek at sunghoon before he pecks a kiss on your cheek (that was very purposeful and much longer than what a peck should be).Â
heeseung leaves, his door shutting is the only sound between you two. you bite your cheek, clearly avoiding eye contact when sunghoon begins to step closer towards you, but not invading your space.
âyou guys fucked, huh?âÂ
your eyes shoot up at him. your mouth opens to retort, to say anything, but youâre stunned. sunghoon gives you a (sly) smile, eyes flicking between your eyes at the way your mouth quivers in nerves. âlucky guess,â he shrugs his shoulders, but it was more than just a lucky guessâ there were too many signs of closeness that platonic roommates should not be having.
you still say nothing, waiting for him to speak and say what he wants from you, so that he can leave as soon as possible. you know well that small talk works nothing on sunghoon, and he only hates it more if not genuine.Â
âdoes he satisfy you?â he asks, and you feel like heâs poking at you, but his arms are still crossed as he interrogates you. you frown, nodding your head but sunghoon only scoffs, his smirk only growing more.Â
âah⊠is that so?â he hums, unfolding his arms to dig out his phone from his pocket. he taps a few times on his screen before flipping the phone to show you.Â
and you feel immensely embarrassed. if you had the chance to gain a magical power right here, right now, you would pick invisibility without a question. youâre mortified at the sight of sunghoonâs screenâ your naked body on full display. and not just one, not two, but four photos of you in different positions, in front of the mirror, you name it.Â
âwell.. i gotta say, for someone who says theyâre satisfied, i wonder why i got nudes then..â sunghoon muses, his canines showing through his grin.
a part of you wants to slap him, wipe that stupidly handsome grin off his face but you know that youâre the one thatâs in the wrong in this situation. you sent your ex boyfriend nudes⊠you canât even fathom the reason why you were trying to sendnudes in the first place, or what you were doing with sunghoonâs contact open. the two of you have been no-contact for a while since the mutual breakup, so why did your drunk mind decide that it was a good time to text him?Â
and itâs not like your sex life is dry⊠by any means! jake and heeseung can definitely vow for you, and the weird and sudden urge to prove sunghooon starts to take over you.Â
you scoff, âjust wanted to show what youâve been missing, i guess,â you shrug your shoulders, feigning confidence.
thatâs when you forget how much sunghoon actually knows youâ those two years didnât go down the drain for nothing.Â
âi do miss it.â blunt as ever, sunghoon says it so flatly that it catches you off guard, your wide eyes meeting his sudden dark, bedroom eyes.Â
âoh.â
sunghoon struggles to bite back the smirk that grows on his face, taking another step towards you that starts to invade your sensesâ his cologne that he hasnât changed since the day you first met. almost like a wave of nostalgia hits you, sunghoon decides to remind you what it feels like to have his lips on your skin.
but heâs not so nice, his lips barely grazing your jaw and his eyes hyper fixated on your own lips. your eyes dart up to read his face, but heâs so close, overwhelming you and clouding your mind, your hangover long forgotten.Â
âwhat about you?â he whispers, slightly pulling back just to tease you even more, not giving you what you want most.
âh-huh?â you ask, confused, already starting to feel dazed.
âyou miss me too?â
honestly, you should be putting up more of a fight. the breakup was mutual, yes, but it still hurt like hell and you didnât spend months picking your life back up and getting used to being single again. and you definitely know that jay would not approve, the man being your support system through it all no matter the multiple times you shut him out.
but a part of you just wants to think that maybe, just maybe, sunghoon is back for a reason. but you could also be gaslighting yourself for thinking that.. perhaps you want to feel less guilty about wanting to so badly indulge in sunghoon and your desires.Â
you were never known for having good self control, impulse usually taking over for most of your actions, and sunghoon knows that part of you very well to use it as an advantage.
âkinda,â you mumble, eyes avoiding his face as you feel your face grow a tad bit hot over the mere confession.
âkinda?â sunghoon hums, clicking his tongue as he shakes his head slightly. âi think you need a reminder, what do you think?â
before you could thinkâ critically think about what the consequences are, youâre already nodding and all too familiar lips meet yours. soft and gentle to ease the both of you into it, having it been too long since the last time the two of you kissed. overwhelmed with the fluctuations of emotions that hit you, you practically moan into the kiss, causing him to bite your lower lip and earning a low groan from him.Â
the sound is enough to have your stomach churning, and like pavlovâs theory, your thighs clenching automatically. yeah, you definitely missed thatâ having sunghoon wrapped around your finger without having to do much.Â
âfuckâŠâ he sighs, like heâs reminiscing an old memory but he might as well be, having almost forgotten how much you really affect him. a simple kiss that could pass as almost innocent (in his standards) has his pants tightening.Â
and you had forgotten how hot he sounds whenever he curses. before you realize it, youâre grabbing his wrist and taking him into your bedroom, door shutting closed behind him when you push his back into said door.Â
you quickly kiss him again, more feverishly and heâs fast to reciprocate and even chase after your lips when you even slightly pull back for a breath of air. his hands are roaming your body, getting familiar again with all your curves and marks that heâs studied for two years. he knows you love it when he gets grabby, so a tight hold on your waist has you moaning again into his mouth and you can feel his smile against your lips.Â
âlemme eat you out, baby,â sunghoon mumbles mid-kiss, his grip on your hips tightening a bit more to convey his need, his brows slightly furrowed and he looks like he might die if he doesnât. and you decide to use it to your advantage.
âhmm, under one condition,â you say, holding up an index finger between the two of your faces to prevent him from kissing you again. sunghoonâs confused, but he nods either way. you move away from him, his hands reluctantly letting go of your waist but he follows your every move. you go onto your bed, still facing him as you make your way to the center. heâs still moving with you like heâs under a spell, a knee propping him up on your bed as he stays at the edge.
slowly, you peel your bottoms off, and like the entranced man sunghoon is, his eyes are following your hands, waiting for your next words. you gesture for him to come closer, legs spreading to allow him space but your panties are blocking what he really wants to see.
âapologize.â
what you want him to apologize for? you donât really know yourself. maybe the years you wasted on him? for showing up out of the blue? the hold he still has on you after all the hard work you spent on getting over him? luckily, sunghoon doesnât question it. he gets close to you, between your thighs as he eyes your face. he visibly gulps before licking his lips and he nods without saying a word.
his face is inches away from your pantyclad cunt, and you start to feel a bit impatient (even though itâs only been a few seconds). he bites his lip, face tilting upwards and the tip of his nose perfectly grazes your clit. you gasp softly, looking down at him with the help of your elbows propping you up.Â
ââm sorryâŠâ he murmurs softly, lips brushing against your pussy. he eyes you from below, through his thick lashes and you practically fold, your face growing hotter.Â
he brings a finger to your cunt, still playing through your panties and heâs enjoying this more than you, feeling you clench and unclench in anticipation. he canât hide the way his lips curve upwards into a smug smirk, missing how cute you are under his touch.Â
his index finger curves underneath your panties, tugging it to the side to view your bare, wet cunt for him. he hums at the sight, licking his lips once again as if he was trying to hold himself back, eyes never departing from your pussy.Â
âmissed her sâmuchâŠâ he almost slurs, drunk and he hasnât even gotten a taste yet. he flattens his tongue, pressing his hot mouth against your folds. you squirm slightly, unsure hands gripping at your bedsheets. âyâknow how much i like it when you grab my hair.. please do it again,â he pulls away from you, leaving you the dissatisfaction of no friction.Â
so you do as he says, hands leaving your bed sheets as you tangle your fingers into his hair, forgetting just how soft and well-taken care of his hair is. he sighs when you tug slightly at the strands, the air blowing into your cunt and you buck your hips slightly. impatient, sunghoon attaches his lips to your cunt and begins urgently lapping up your juices.
you squeal, your hand unintentionally tugging harder and he groans into you. your taste alone has his eyes rolling to the back of his head, mind starting to reel at the reminder of how pliant you are for him.Â
âiâm sooo sorryâŠâ he mumbles sweetly into your pussy, practically inhaling you with his hands and arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you pinned into the mattress. he feels you twitch, his tongue bullying its way into your entrance and nose grazing your sensitive bud.Â
youâre shaking at this point, your body and mind from being overwhelmed by the familiar sight of sunghoon between your thighs and his mumbled apologies into your pussy like heâs apologizing to it. âsorryâŠsorry, sorry,â he mindlessly slurs as he continues to slurp and lap at your juices.Â
as it turns out, no matter how over you think you are from sunghoon, heâll always have you in a vice grip, especially when you come undone from his tongue alone. you moan obscenities, your hips fighting against sunghoonâs grasp on you, but your hands pulling at his hair strands tell him that you want him closer.Â
he moans into you, moving away from your dripping entrance and up to suck on your clit, encouraging your orgasm. you curse, his name falling out of your lips and sunghoonâs eyes donât leave your face for a single millisecond, too obsessed with your cute, overstimulated expression.Â
he finally pulls away from you, a filthy pop! following as he catches his breath. you lay your head back down on the pillow, legs giving out on being spread after sunghoon has let you go from his hold. but the moment is short-lived, his hand coming quickly to your thigh. âwhat are you doing? i want more.âÂ
and what sunghoon wants, he gets.
apparently, he wanted it three more times.
âwaiâ oh!â you whine, but your words fall on deaf ears as sunghoon is nose-deep in your cunt, eyes shut and visibly enjoying the feast laid for him. youâve given up on fighting him two orgasms ago, knowing well that heâs done when he says so.
âwh..why are you so insatiable ri-right now..?â you ask through broken moans and heavy sighs. sunghoon finally opens his eyes, looking up at you. he acts like heâs pondering for a moment, but he knows the answer alreadyâ he just doesnât want to pull away from your pussy yet.Â
âmmm.. told you already, baby,â he mutters, tongue still licking up your essence around your cunt, âmissed you⊠needâa satisfy my taste buds.âÂ
with that answer, heâs back into your pussy, except this time he gives you the pleasure of his fingers inserting inside you for the first time that night. you gasp, your free hand lurching down to reach for his wrist, feeling your orgasm suddenly approach you rapidly.Â
âoh..oh fuck, iâmââ you whine, but you ddonât need to tell sunghoon twice, inserting another finger. and, of course he knows how much you love the feeling of being stretched, especially when itâs in preparation for accommodating his cock for you.
your head is instantly thrown back, your nails gripping his hand turning white as you cum around his fingers and on his tongue, legs threatening to close shut around his face (not that heâd complain).Â
his tongue swirls and plays with your swollen clit, fingers not relenting on you even as your back arches off the bed. ââm here, baby, cum for me, last one, promise,â he mumbles to push you over the edge, âwill never leave you again, âm so sorry, iâm sorry, baby.âÂ
itâs magical, really, the way his words can do so much on their own. maybe itâs the rasp in his voice that youâve never really gotten used to, even when the two of you were togetherâ it always had an effect on you. but perhaps, itâs really just sunghoon who has that effect.
you come undone for the third time this morning, hand clasping over your mouth to save your embarrassment, not forgetting your roommate residing two rooms away from you. sunghoon finally detaches his lips from you, his fingers replacing your cunt for his mouth. he groans at the taste of your sin, the side of his face lazily laid on your thigh as you recover.Â
you watch him suck his own fingers lewdly, a feeling of jealousy washing over you â what youâre really jealous of, youâre not sure. perhaps his fingers? his mouth?Â
âwhatâre you thinkinâ about, sweetheart?â his words snapping you out of your gaze, but he knows damn well whatâs running through your head.Â
you mumble a mere ânothingâ, your head turning to the side to avoid his eyes. he hums at your reply before kneeling off the bed, the sudden dip lifting off the mattress causing you to look at him again.Â
sunghoon peels off his shirt and undoes his pants, and you had completely forgotten that he was still completely dressed throughout your nth orgasms of him just eating you out. you crawl up the bed a little, your elbows propping you up as you watch him.Â
he tilts his head to the side, looking at you with a cheeky grin plastered on his face. âwhatâs that shocked look for? you know iâm not done with you.âÂ
that you do, having dealt with his insatiableness when the two of you were together plenty of times before. you chew on your bottom lip as he joins you back on the bed, settling between your legs once again. he leans close to you, his chest just hovering above yours and his face so unbearably close to yours.Â
âyou do know i truly did miss you, rightâŠâ he mumbles, his eyes switching its gaze on your lips and your own eyes. you donât say anything, but he leans in even more, causing a small squeak to leave your lips in surprise. he tsks, his gaze leaving you for a second as if he was embarrassed, âhad to convince one of your friends to tell me if you were doing okay or not. you got some really loyal friends..â he sighs, finally pulling away from invading your space.Â
his words surprised you, your friends never once mentioning sunghoon texting them to ask about you. a twisted part makes you feel giddy that he was still checking up on you after all this time.Â
âyâknow you couldâve just come to me⊠after your whole rooming situation,â he continues on, his words in a low whisper, like heâs unsure if he should be saying all of this in the first place.Â
âi was afraid youâd turn me away.. and i didnât want to bother you,â you reply meekly, still looking at him even if he wasnât. but at your words, he turns back to look at you.Â
âi could never say no to you.âÂ
and you know itâs true, park sunghoon would never dare tell a lie to you.Â
the silence engulfs the both of you for a minute before a small smile makes its way onto your lips. âi mean, if youâre just jealous that iâm rooming with another guy, you could just say that.âÂ
his eyes widen slightly, a failed stifled smirk growing on his face. âah, you always read me like a book, baby,â he hums, his hands trailing up your thighs and spreading them open.Â
you yelp when he tugs you closer to his torso, grabbing a hold of your thighs and lifting your leg above to rest on his shoulder. the tip of his cock barely brushes against your pussy, your hips already needily bucking for attention. he tsks at you, squeezing your thigh to get you to pay attention to him.Â
âplease⊠hoon,â you give him a cute pout, one that he typically always falls for. but he seems to be stubborn today, intending on dragging out this long awaited moment.Â
ânah, donât tell me what to do.âÂ
youâre whining again, but he quickly shuts you up when he guides his tip to brush against your sensitive clit, a sigh leaving your lips. he repeats this action, your juices coating his cock and making it glisten under the sun peeking through your blinds.Â
âfuck..â he groans, slightly shaking his head as if to snap himself out of a daze, âcanât believe i even survived without you.âÂ
his words hit you like a trainwreck, your head thrown back as you thrust your hips upwards, his tip catching at your entrance and slipping in slightly due to your slickness.Â
âhahh~ ohâ feels good, more, p-please!â you beg, pleading at him with your eyes, causing him to grin and place a kiss on your leg that's resting on his shoulder.Â
âlucky i missed youâ and this cute pussy,â sunghoon grumbles before bottoming all the way in, both of you moaning in relief into each otherâs neck. he starts off slow, very much opposite to how the two of you used to have sex. but you suppose makeup sex to sunghoon is like this, not that you mind.
the two of you are already panting like animals in heat, caught up in each otherâs body warmth and the way he stretches your walls out, your cunt accommodating the familiarity of your exâs cock. sunghoon cages your head in with his arms, leaning his forehead against yours.Â
like youâre making love to each other, the eye contact you two hold is scary as his thrusts start to get harder and deeper, the skin on skin contact is loud and echoing throughout your bedroom.Â
âfuuckk,â sunghoon drawls, breaking eye contact with you first to squeeze his eyes shut, enjoying your gummy walls suck him in. you whimper, his moans having a well enough effect on your body as you feel your arousal stick to your thighs and his pelvis.Â
you pull him into a needy kiss, hushed moans being swallowed by the both of you to keep the noise level to a minimum (not that itâs really helping). the kiss is sloppy, spit drooling from the corner of your mouth as sunghoon speeds up.Â
âmmghâ oh fuck!â you whine, starting to feel how deep he really is. you swear he grew bigger.Â
sunghoon moves his hands to caress your hips and thighs, cherishing what used to be his. he moves his lips down to your neck, peppering wet kisses at your pulse point , causing shivers to run down your spine.Â
ânn-no, stop,â you giggle slightly, the sensitivity making you pull away from him but sunghoon doesnât budge, his sharp canines dragging down to your collarbone. âyouâre so cute, god..â he mutters, lifting body up as well as pulling your thighs up together, placing soft kisses at your ankle. âmâgonna fuck you like you deserve to, sweet girl.âÂ
you donât get a word out, a gasp pulled out of you as he thrusts roughly, the new angle making you feel like heâs in your stomach. you slap a mouth over your hand in fear of heeseung hearing too much from his room. sunghoon grins at you, canine peeking under his lip.Â
âno, no⊠whatâre you doinâ? he should hear you, so he knows what you sound like when you get properly fuckedâŠâ his last words said sharply, followed by even sharper thrusts that make you squeal even through your palm.Â
his brows are furrowed now, concentration fully on you as he focuses on your pleasure. his hand snakes down around your thighs, his thumb swiping at your sensitive clit. you let out a whine, the palm over your mouth long forgotten as you grip his forearm.Â
âooh~â he hums, a deep chuckle leaving his lips, âyouâre tightening up.. my baby is gonna cum, arenât you?â he taunts, a brow cocking in question as a smirk appears on his face. you nod, your words being swallowed by your own moans and whines. youâre scratching up his forearm, not that he mindsâ heâs never minded when you mark him as yours.Â
you canât even give him a warning, your orgasm crashing over you, splotches of white invading your vision as you toss your head back. sunghoon releases a groan, your walls clenching and unclenching around his cock causing him to pound into you faster.Â
he lets out another chuckle at your shaking body, his finger letting your clit go. he grabs onto your arms, pulling you up towards him. you instinctively wrap your arms around him, his cock resting deep inside you. your chest heaves up and down, resting your head on his shoulder.
sunghoon hums, âtapping out now? you used to last much longerâŠâ he says, feigning a thoughtful tone to tease you. you pout, raising your head. you are tired, yes⊠but sunghoon always knows how to provoke you into continuing.Â
âi-iâm not,â you frown, suddenly raising your hips then bouncing back down on his cock. he sucks in a breath, leaning back slightly and using his arms to prop himself up.Â
âmmm, okay⊠iâll give you two minutes before youâre whining, tellinâ me youâre too tired. âm gonna have to do all the work again,â he sighs dramatically, rolling his eyes sassily at you.Â
you slap his chest before looping your arm around his neck again. you donât retort backâ youâll prove him wrong with just your actions. steadily bouncing up and down on his cock to create a nice pace for you, itâs not long before sunghoon is groaning out your name.
easily entranced by your bouncing tits in front of him, he wraps his lips around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it. you whine, your hips twitching in urge to grind on him rather than bounce, but you resist as your mission is to make your ex lover cum.Â
your hands tangle into his undercut, scratching as his scalp and back as you continue to ride him, the squelching of your cunt meeting his cock making the two of you even more needier. âoh fuuckk,â sunghoon almost whines, tearing his lips apart from your nipple. âdonât stop, juuust like that.âÂ
your thighs are getting tired and starting to burn, but the twitching of his cock inside you keeps you going, knowing that heâs not too far off from his orgasm. slamming your hips down harder onto him, you grab his face and pull him into another messy kiss, since you know that sloppy kisses always get him even more worked up.Â
and youâre right, as sunghoonâs hips thrust back up into you, sloppily pounding as he holds your body still to hover above him, using you. but he doesnât relentâ making you cum only once on his cock? thatâs never happened and he intends on never letting it happen. his hand once again sneaks down, rubbing your swollen and overstimulated clit. you cry out into his mouth, him easily shushing you up again as he pushes his tongue inside your mouth.Â
you both arrive at your climax, sunghoon groaning out your name against your lips as you grind hopelessly against him.Â
the two of you still are engaging in a kiss, less sloppier and more soft. pulling away to finally properly catch your breath, sunghoon rubs soothingly along your hips and thighs.
shouldnât this be when regret starts flooding your mind and body? you should probably be freaking out now, telling sunghoon to leave and to never speak again. but.. you donât feel the regret washing over you. maybe a little guilt, but itâs mostly because you told jay you would never be in contact with sunghoon again. and the fact that you told jay you blocked him, which you clearly did not, leading you to your current situation of being wrapped in his arms.
youâre a little too comfortable right now, listening to sunghoonâs soft breathing as the two of you embrace each other. you almost want to break down in tears, beg for him back, but thatâs definitely the last thing that you should be doing. you need to consult with someone, and that someone being your best friend.Â
genre. best friends brother AU, smut smut smut, M/F, part 2đ»
warnings. horror film references, ghost face sunghoon, smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.
wc. 5000
now playing. Scream//Misfits
smut warnings. cnc, dom Sunghoon, role play, mask kink, degradation, rimming, anal, sub drop, unprotected sex, etc
The mouth-watering scent of melted butter looms around the room as you busily work to multitask and alternate between checking on pizza bakes and Sunghoonâs favorite type of popcorn.
How could you possibly forget the slather of salty clear yellow left behind on his lips after shoving a handful into his mouth, winking at you as his tongue dragged across to lick up the tasty mess left behind, much as he had when..
The high-pitch ring of your cellphone rips you from your thoughts, glancing around quickly and turning the stove fire off with the sound of kernels expanding filling up the kitchen. âShit.â You mutter, quickly wiping your hands, itâs probably him.
âUknown Callerâ stares back at you while your thumb hovers to answer, could just be a scam call.. âHello?â
âHello?â
â..yes?â
âWho is this?â
Leaning back against the kitchen island, you frown, not recognizing the voice on the other end of the line. âYou called me, who is this?â
âWhat number is this?â
âWho are you trying to reach?â
âI donât know.â
Opening and shutting your mouth, you glance around swiftly, turning your attention to the windows. âHmm, I think you have the wrong number. It happens, take it easy.â Without a second thought you hang-up, uncovering the popcorn you made specially for your date tonight.Â
Another blaring ring jolts your heart, lifting onto the balls of your feet before reaching for your phone annoyed. âWrong number again.â
âNo, no, donât hang up.â
âWhy?â
âI like your voice.â He says smoothly, adding a small laugh. âWhat are you wearing right now?â
âUgh, they have 800 numbers for that dude.â You say, prepared to hang up again. âBye.âÂ
âNo no! Wait!â
Sighing, you roll your eyes and look over your freshly manicured nails. âMake it quick.â
âTell me your name.â He says in a flirtatious tone.
âWhy do you wanna know my name?â You giggle, shutting the oven off to let the pizza pockets cool down.
âBecause I wanna know who Iâm looking at.â He says wickedly, making your heart skip a beat as you make a quick spin to glance around.
âWhat did you say??â
âUhm,â clearing his throat, he changes to speak in a softer tone. âI said I want to know who Iâm talking to.â
âThatâs not what you said!â You stammer, quickly running around to check the window locks and doors. âDonât fucking call me again!â
âDonât forget the garage door, baby.âÂ
Fear spikes up your chest, running back through the kitchen to the garage door, too late as it crashes open and a masked figure bursts through with a knife in hand chasing you past the entrance and around the kitchen counter.
âNo no! PLEASE DONâT!â You beg, taking a deep gulp, panting hard as you try to catch your breath..Â
The large figure looms closer, knife tightly clutched ready to lunge forward and attack until your cellphone blares throughout the kitchen space again, darting both of your eyes to the device.
âOh shit, itâs your sister.â You say, reaching for your phone prepared to answer the call until Sunghoon whacks your hand away causing the phone to slip from your hold and land with a nasty thud. âHoon! You jerk!â
His lack of response continues, only moving in closer until your back meets the edge of the kitchen counter. The mask even more wicked this close-up, barely revealing his concentrated vicious gaze behind the fabric peeled over his eyes.
âIf you break character, Iâll have to punish you.â
Sunghoon chuckled, adding a wink as you discussed and shared a secret fantasy the two of you have in common. Devising a plan to make it come to life after hitting up a costume store together. He nodded to the display holding fake blood, plastic bloody knives and the iconic Ghost Face mask before leaning in to whisper by your ear. âWhatâs your favorite scary movie?â
The fun and games subsided now as he presses in harder, whipping free a dull knife(probably borrowed from his parents kitchen) from his back pocket to press to your throat.Â
âIâm sorry..â you plead, tongue-tied and distracted by the thick heat shoved just beneath your navel. His hand lifts, 5 fingers held apart before your wide fear filled eyes as he pushes back and his pinky folds in, signaling you have 4 seconds left to get away.
Scanning for an escape you scram out of the kitchen and look both ways before booking it toward the living room, feet tripping over each other as heavy footsteps come closer up behind you.
âStop stop!â You shout from one side of the couch, finding your predator barricading the room's entrance with the knife waving before his face in a mocking âhelloâ.
âYou want me?â You ask boldly, tiptoeing around as he strides closer, each step nearing the couch escalating the thump in your chest. âMy boyfriend will be here soon!! And heâs big!âÂ
Sunghoon shakes his head, an audible click of his tongue sounding from where he stands nearby, he tugs your discarded phone from his pocket and shuts the device off, throwing it aside to one of the seats behind him.Â
Fuck. Heâs really thought of everything.
âFine. What are you going to do.. if you catch me?â You ask teasingly, opting for a new approach as you scurry to stand behind the coach as a shield, sliding from side to side depending on his movement. âHurt me? Kill me? Choke me and spank me?â
Sunghoonâs head tilts, never once breaking his character, he stops before the center of the couch to run the knife down his chest, white t-shirt rippling beneath the blade.
âCut me open?â You say curiously, focused on the knife trailing down to the prominent bulge between his hips. âYou into that?â Bending forward, for a better view, your ass sways as he sends the knife back up to his chest, forming more wrinkles with the passing motion.Â
The knife drags down rougher this time, gasping at the sound of cotton ripping through as he slices down the material of his shirt slowly exposing icy white skin stretched taut over muscle. âShit.â You mutter, entranced by the blunt tip of the knife skimming up and down the line of hair trailing from his navel down to the hidden area beneath his jeans.
He pauses, turning the knife around to hold the handle out for you to grab. âWhat? Want me to cut my dress open?â You scoff, receiving a slow nod in return. âNo! This is a nice dress!â
Sunghoon takes a step forward with his shoulders rolled back and chest flexed, knees hitting the couch causing you to stand straight. âSorry sorry⊠I mean..â
Fiddling with the straps of your dress you look down for a second and take a deep breath, still shy even though you suggested this in the first place. A streak of light from the kitchen lands across his gaze, focused dark eyes trained on your every little move as you push the straps off your shoulders and cup around your chest for the garment to stay put.
Sunghoon tips his chin in, the mask even more sinister at that angle, he nods slowly, making a quick movement to lift the knife before your face and startle you momentarily; but itâs enough time for him to round the couch and crowd in on you, fisting a tuft of your hair before you manage to run off.
âAhh! No no!â You croon, shoved down over the back of the couch into a bent position. The tough grip on your head doesnât relent as he runs the knife down your back to the hem of your dress, using it to flare the material up to rest above your ass.
He groans behind you, unveiling your naked already sleek glossy core, forgoing panties in favor of getting fucked faster. âAhh, no no.â You keep on, twisting your neck back to watch the way he observes, tracing the knife over your ample cheeks. âPlease mister ghost face.. not there!âÂ
Sunghoon smirks behind the mask, turning the knife around to shove the handle between your buttcheeks. âPlease, not there! Anywhere but there!â
He groans, pushing lower past your rim to your entrance to tease and poke at the wetness beginning to seep out past your hole. the dollop of slick that covers the handle makes him moan, pulling the knife back to hit your ass with the wet hardwood, erupting shame through your head as he glides it down and leaves a line of glossy arousal down to your upper thigh before the knife clatters to the floor and his knees follow. Setting down with his face hovering just behind your presented ass, he grabs your buttcheeks roughly; strong digits burying into the soft fatty flesh heâs become obsessed with pillowing around his face for the last few weeks.Â
âFuck, ah, please donât eat my ass!â You whine helplessly, smiling to yourself as you feel him use your thigh to shove the bottom half of the mask up and bite down on the pert roundness leading to your tensed rim.
The first prod of his tongue against the tight little clench of your asshole has you lifting up onto your toes, gripping at the couch under your weight to not kick back as he swirls around the muscles and spits nastily. âAh, god damn.â You mumble to yourself, biting down on your forearm to keep in a row of moans. You arenât supposed to enjoy this..
Two digits meet his tongue, working between your heat to lube your hole with the slick dribbling free from your cunt. Burning desire explodes through your stomach the more he uses your own arousal to open your rim up, the more he spits and shoves the mess from his tongue through your clenched muscle.
Sunghoon pants against your ass, his cock rock hard from the phone call alone. The girl of his dreams had been in his sisterâs bedroom, giggling over boy bands and celebrity gossip all these years, now face down ass up trying to not cum from the impending thought of having your ass full of his cock soon, very soon.
Itâs harder for him to not comment too much on how tight you wrap around his tongue, how fucking good your dirty fuckhole smells covered with spit and slick as he drags down and takes a deep inhale; thighs tremoring against his face nervously. Youâre not the best at playing this part, but who cares with his tongue sunken deep between your ass cheeks, sucking the wetness straight from your cunt just to spit it back inside of your asshole and watch you open up for his fingers thrusting in and out.Â
âWhat a pretty hole.â He whispers, the rumble of his tone low, but loud enough for you to hear. Sunghoon stands, dragging his digits up and down through your dripping wet labia folds, his wrist slithering through too with a string of curses emitting as he watches your ass and cunt cradle him; making it harder to not imagine the fat girth of his cock there instead.
âYouâre lucky Iâd rather split your ass open and not your chest.â He says quietly, looping around your waist to manhandle you down to the floor, pulling your pretty pretty dress off as he lays you down and takes in your breasts pushing up high with each ragged breath you struggle to take. The glaze over your eyes screaming to get fucked, to fuck you like the whore you are.
Sunghoon tugs the mask back down to cover his chin, not bothered by the slick still painted over his lips and jaw. Ripping off the rest of his cut t-shirt, he looks like something straight out of one of your most depraved fantasies perched between your parted legs, jamming his clothed crotch to press flush to your core. His greedy hands run up your stomach, kneading your breasts as he seeks your neck and clasps his hands around with a firm squeeze, stealing your next breath.
âH-hoonââ you croak, reaching for his wrists as he tightens and presses down on your windpipe. Jean covered cock rutting against your swelled pussy, further cementing how desperate you are to get fucked as you lift to roll back and feel the friction against your clit. âFuck yes.â
Itâs impossible to keep up the act the more you get lost to the pleasure, the boiling heat scorching up from between your thighs to your head. Sunghoon growls upon hearing his name moaned out, furiously pressing against your jugular until you slap at his forearms and let out a pathetic sob.
Loosening the hold, he glides down your torso, flicking your stiff nipples along the way to grip your hips roughly and hoist your lower half up, wrapping his biceps around your body to keep the backs of your thighs pressed to his chest as he leans in and rubs your cunt against the mask.
âFuck!â The sight above you has your eyes rolling up, smacking at the floor around you as he lowers you back down and whips a strike of his palm right along your slit, making your hips jump up and down to run and chase the sensation all at once. Every action grows more delirious from there, fast to shove and kick his bottoms off as he sets your butt on his upper thighs and his length lands where it belongs, laid flat against both of your holes. He watches intently as each vein pulseâs viscously, more hungry to fuck you than he even realized throughout this game.Â
âLook at you.â He voices, harsh and strained. âSo desperate for cock, youâre practically begging for me to fuck your ass.â His head tilts again at that evil practiced angle, admiring the shame washing down your pretty features, overwhelming your capability to breathe properly as your back arches and you give him a sad little nod.Â
Sunghoon cooes, inching back until the large blunt tip of his length rests against your rim, beating faster and harder than your own heartbeat. He drags the wet head around your asshole teasingly, just to watch you squirm and squeal out anxious tiny whimpers. âIs that what you want? Should I fuck your ass?âÂ
With another nudge against your hole, you nod eagerly, teeth chattering together in anticipation. âPlease.. fuck my ass.â
Sunghoon smiles behind the mask, slowly entering past your clenched muscle, earning a muffled cry as your lips purse together. The position he keeps you at isnât the most comfortable, but mind-numbing nonetheless, having an up close viewing of his cock pushing in inch by inch, forcing the skin wrapped around his thick girth to accommodate the new sheer massive size youâve never experienced before.
His hips meld to your ass, fully sheathed inside, panting heavily under the thin cloth covering his mouth. He whistles lowly, pausing to take in how fucking stretched you are around his cock as his fingers reach to rub and swipe around the pulled skin kissing around him. âFuck, what would your boyfriend say?â He emphasizes by pulling back enough for half of his length to be seen, thrusting back in as slow as possible to make it all the more torturous. âIf he saw you like this? Fucked up the ass, pussy wet as fuck.â
His hips snap forward roughly, jamming every bit of his girth in and back out, gaining speed with each movement. âGetting fucked in the ass is for stupid fuck whores..â he says with a hard snap of his lower half meeting yours, ass met with bruising hits of muscle and bone. âWith pussys too useless and loose to even bother fucking.â
The mean-spirited intent entwined in his speech has your mind spiraling away, feeling split open more and more by each meticulous thrust meant to push your hole open until he can bury in balls deep. Sunghoon curses loudly, slapping your hips to pay attention and watch his length retreat out to the tip only to bury back in mercilessly.
Ram after ram of his hips solidifies just how fucking full you are, gazing through hooded tired eyes at his cock plunging in and out, wet by the consistent drip pushed from your cunt, passing down past the crevice of your ass making a slick mess of wet between his thighs as well.Â
Sunghoon nearly pulls out completely as he repositions himself, searching for the pits of your knees to shove them down against your shoulders as he mounts you and fully pushes back in. The stretch reminds you of how raw and bare all of this is, nothing between you to separate his cockhead from pressing through your ring of muscle. âSo fucking wet.â He grunts, peering down between your crushed together limbs where your empty cunt shines under a heavy layer of slick. âSo fucking wet from getting your ass torn open huh? What a good slut.â
He manages to snake one of his hands to your cunt, hips jumping under his weight desperately as your body begs to be touched just once. Clit hard as a rock as he softly grazes past the bundle of sensitive nerves to sink lower toward your pussy hole.
Silently pleading for more, you tiredly hook around your knees to keep yourself in place and free his hands, pussy opening up as you bite down a cry and ask between grinding teeth to be touched. âPlease! Iâm a dumb slut! Fuck me hard!â
Sunghoonâs pace falters, swallowing down a curse before picking up again into a much more brutal speed. His sight goes blurry for a moment, landing a slap down on your cunt before two fingers slink through the heat of your pussy. âSuch a whore.â
His hips snap at a backbreaking speed, pushing you up against the floor roughly as he rushes to fuck you like nothing but a used up cocksleeve. Two fingers attempting to chase and fuck your pussy just as fast despite how fuzzy his mind gets with each addicting suck your ass gives around his cock.
Sunghoonâs digits hit deep, the tips pressed up against your cervix at this angle, buckling under the ruthless pumps as he stills buried deep inside your ass. It builds and builds, from the tension gathered at the tail end of your spine and the swelled flesh gripped around his fingers, you canât control the jump from your hips. Rucking up just to feel the burning stretch, to chase the friction against your bundle of nerves trapped beneath his piercing thumb.
âH-hoon, sâtooââ you slur, eyes lit up in flames as they shoot wide open and your throat feels constrained even without long fingers wrapped around you anymore. The invisible weight of his grip remains, collapsing your chest as you suck in for a deep breath and see nothing but white. âSâtooâmuch!â
Sunghoon pinches your clit again, the bite on your tongue turns useless as you let out a broken scream. Heâs filling up your ass so good, pushing your orgasm to the coil up faster with each ramped thrust. âNeed t-to cum, Iâm g-gonna cum.â Breath evades your lungs, head spinning the more you try to hold back, wanting him to flood your hole before you reach your own peak of pleasure.
Sunghoon fails to answer, drawing back to land a ruthless wet slap down on your cunt. Two middle fingers sink in past your convulsing hole, forcing his pinky and index fingers alongside the foreboding stretch down to his first knuckle. They press flush to your pussy, the heel of his palm landing smacked dab against your clit at the same time that his cock pushes in your ass to the brim. With buried fingers he wiggles against the flesh stretched around his cock, pushing against the walls of your pussy until you let out a heart wrenching sob and balled fists hit the floor around you.
âYou know who cums from getting their ass fucked like this?â His pace picks up again, matching the rhythm of his digits to his cock before pulling free to slap your pussy once more. âGetting fucked up the ass like nothing but a common used filthy slut.âÂ
Without really taking in anything heâs saying through the muffled speech playing from behind the ghost face mask, you nod, over and over again. Thoughtless to the teasing thumb finding your sensitive clit again to rub figure eights over.
âIâm a s-slut!â You wail out mindlessly, back arching up until Sunghoon leans down with your legs braced upon his shoulders. Burly biceps bracket your head, snapping his hips into merciless action. The wet clap of his pelvic muscle against the fat of your ass resounds through the living room loud enough to rush blood up your face, consumed by the embarrassment and just how loose you are now. His cock slides in so easily now, so fucking good, reiterating with each seathing pass through your hole just what a god damn slut you are.
âIâm suchâsuch a dumb slut!â You say right as a prickle hits the back of your eyes, blinking rapidly to subdue the tears ready to river out. Sunghoonâs pace turns erratic, breath quickened with eyes laser focused on your disoriented expression. âIâmâIâm just a hole.â You weep, chest caved in by your next breath. âPlease, please, Iâm cumââ
Sunghoonâs stomach wrenches, body locked up by the unrelenting suctioning grip around his cock, unable to pull himself out even an inch as you cum and a splash of slick smacks under his navel. âWhat a good fucking slut..â he says between ragged breaths, resisting the damning urge to force his length past your climax to chase his own.
The wet droplets hit your cheeks before you even realize tears have run down from your eyes, completely bewildered and blinded by your mind going blank as intense orgasm hits every tip from your fingers down to your toes, curled where they hang above you with Sunghoonâs weight crushing you under the mating press position, cock shoved deep inside rutting against the fat of your ass to savor the clamp of maddening heat closed around him.
The whimper that rips from your chest has his masked face peering up, coming to a complete stop upon finding your blazed gaze turned toward the ceiling and tears springing rapidly down your cheeks.
âHey hey,â Sunghoons sheds the mask off quickly, his flawless skin coated in a glisten of sweat that highlights each curve and chiseled bone, making him appear even more God-like above you. Stilling his ministrations, he dips forward to cup your face and turn your watery gaze back to him, too dazed to fully register that heâs even stopped with each passing throb rippling up from your core through your gut. âWhatâs going on? You okay?âÂ
A stifled helpless cry runs through your lips, cheek falling into his palm for comfort as another wound of tears pour down your cheeks from the overwhelming continuous surge of pleasure panging through your limbs. âHoon..â
Letting out a sigh of relief he adjusts to take pressure off your upper back, allowing your thighs to drape down around his sides as he slowly eases himself free, biting down a hiss. âWas I too rough?â
Shaking your head, you canât help but to feel needy and vulnerable, especially with your hole gaped open squeezing around nothing. âHold me..â you whine, weakly lifting your palms to open and shut. The vision has Sunghoonâs throat jumping, stroking up the sides of your thighs with the tips of his blunt nails before guiding his hips to lay between your parted legs, hard pulsating cock nudged up against your core.
âWant me?â He asks in a low whisper, reaching to position his length between your swollen heat, snuggly fitting his thick girth tight with your flushed pussy squeezed around him. âDid I hurt you?â
His lack of confidence with regaining movement makes your chest inflate, scurrying to scrape your nails over his defined shoulders as you shake your head. âGood, felt t-too good.â
âHad me worried.â He mumbles, pressing a light kiss to your chin. âSo sexy how you came just like that..â
âPlease, gimme more..â the wanton little way you ask rips heat through Sunghoonâs lower back, hips jerking forward to rut his length up and down between your slit, the tip bumping and rubbing along your engorged clit menacingly.
âYouâll make me crazyââ he groans, hand slinking down between your pressed bodies to grip around his cock and tease the tip through your wetness. ââtalking like that.â
âS-so big, feel so open,â you keep whining, snaking around his neck to tangle your fingers through the sweaty hair lining his nape. âNever f-felt so stretched.â
âFuck.â Sunghoon growls, tapping at your entrance repeatedly, abdomen locked tight indenting each muscle lined up to his chest. âW-wanna cum.. on your gaped hole.â
âPlease, please give meâthat,â your neck bows upward, throat on display gleaming with a heavy layer of sweat, beads trickling down between your bouncing breasts.
Sunghoon huffs, knees rutting against the hardwood floor hard enough to blossom red marks upon his skin to find later. He glides through the wet thick between your pussy again and again, shooting the arousal to spark out around his length and soak your inner thighs in the mess. âYeah? Tell me, wanna hear y-you say it, ask for it.â
Shifting to grip around your thighs, he hoists your butt up again, the bulbous tip of his cock piercing through your stretched rim with ease; stroking in and out just to watch it disappear and edge himself further. âAsk for it.â He growls again, ordering with a firm slap to your thigh.
âAh! Hoon!â
âDonât make me repeat myself again.â Another strike stings across your upper thigh, clenching together from the impact sending a shot of nerves up Sunghoonâs cock.
âPleaseâcum all over my ass.â
A low rumbled groan emits from his chest, keeping you held up with one flexed bicep curled around your thigh, gripping at the base of his length to squeeze down to the middle of his cock. The head throbs between your ass, jerking the rest of his girth off until his balls finally squeeze up tight between his legs, lips curled in with sharp eyebrows furrowed together in anguish as the first shot of release jumps free.
âOhâfuck,â he grits, teeth biting down on his tucked in bottom lip as he tugs harshly at his size, eyes wide and struck by the streaks of white blown across your hole, some dripping down to your unused pussy, drawing another round of cum to spill out and paint your ass in nothing but creamy white.
âSo warm..â you moan, eyes rolling up as you can feel yourself clench around the bubbling arousal trickling through the cavern of your asshole, warm and sticky on the slide down.Â
Sunghoon groans long and loud, having to clench his eyes shut to stop himself from plunging his cock back in and out of you one more time just to watch his cum seep out around the expanse of his length pushing you to your limits. âLiked that didnât you.â He states more than asking, grasping the base of his size to cool the incessant need to feel your suffocating heat one more time.
âDid really good for me.â He says, cupping under your knees to haul your legs open and bite at the inside of your thigh, sending your ribcage up as your back lifts from the floor with a moan. âWish you could see how good it looks.â He mutters against your soft flesh, lapping down to your upper inner thigh for a closer look of his cum dripping from your hole to the floor. âHow fucking nasty your hole looks, fucked raw like a no good filthy whore.â
His lips confuse the humiliation crashing down like brutal waves, distracting you as he bites along the juncture where your thigh meets groin, burying his teeth down deep enough to sprout a trickle of blood. The mumble of his on-going degradation hardly affects you, more turned on by his deep rasp vibrating between your thighs and shocked by his tongue passing over the cum that's nearly dried up between your pussy folds.
Sunghoon kisses up your thighs over the teeth marks left behind, met with a coppery taste as he licks at the now deep sharp indentations. The jagged edges of his canines scrap across your skin every now and then, jolting shivers up your chest and halting your breath. He works a path of tender kisses and nips up past your mound, taking extra time to suck blood up to the surface along your hip bones and waist as he makes way to your breasts and watches you with fierce intent while rolling your hardened nipple along his tongue, sucking it to press against the roof of his mouth.
âDid I make you cry?â Sunghoon frowns, seeming genuinely concerned. Having to pry his lips away from your nipples to gently sweep his thumbs across your cheeks to clean away the remnants of dry and fresh tears. Even if you look extra pretty and make his heart skip the more salty wetness gathers at your waterline.
âYesâbut not you. Made me feel too good.. youâre supposed to scare me..â you say, cheeks aflame with embarrassment.
âI told you Iâd protect you from the boogeyman, even if I am the boogeyman.â Sunghoon grins, chasing your lips for a kiss. âCanât lie and say I donât like to hear you scream and watch you cry though..â
âSo, next timeââ
âNext time?â Sunghoonâs eyes light up, cupping the back of your head to brush his lips down the bridge of your nose. âAlready planning for next time?â
âNext timeee,â you say coyly, shoving his shoulders away to turn your bodies over together and press his back to the floor. âIâll chase you.â
Sunghoonâs lips pout, eyebrows raised curiously. âWhat? Wanna make me scream?â He says with a wicked glint behind his gaze, smoothing up your hips to hold your waist firmly. âThink you can catch me?â
âWe need a trilogy.â You wink, scratching down his pale chest.
âTrilogy?â
âThatâs right. Itâs a rarity in the horror field, but it does exist.â You quote, tickling up to his throat to cuff your hands around. âAnd it is a force to be reckoned with.â
cheeries to pop this semester : Y/N (Heeseung's pick)
Warnings : toxic heeseung, manipulation, coercion, morally gray characters, dub con, infidelity, angst, filthy smut, masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, body image issues, body shaming, family issues (it gets heavy), unprotected sex, cum eating, violence, dacryphilia.
Wc : 23k+
a/n : IT'S FINALLY HERE OMG, this is my first full length fic on here and I really put my all into it, please reblog and leave feedbacks, it's really really important for me, I cherish all of your words so much<3
!!!!!!! READ PREVIEW FIRST !!!!!!!!
You're quite literally the most stuck up thing Heeseung has ever laid his eyes on. Itâs the way you stick out like a sore thumb; Your ponytail is meticulously braided, the grandma skirt that you chose to wear cascades down, stopping just beneath your knees in a habitual fashion and your pressed pink silk blouse is impeccably buttoned up to the collar, not one inch of extra skin in sight.
The book clutched tightly against your chest ties your entire look of âaustere sophisticationâ together.
"Microprocessors", the title reads. Pfft. Typical of you. Only you can clutch onto such a demonic book like it is some quality literature. Heeseung nearly fights the urge to scoff.
You're peak virgin demonstration if Heeseungâs ever seen one. Your embodiment of purity is unparalleled, and it feels like a personal attack on his masculinity that he hasn't been able to get you under him yet. Keyword : yet.Â
As he backs you up against the wall, your eyes downcast and your free hand nervously fiddling with the button of your blouse, he thinks you look pathetic. You exude an air of pitiful vulnerability, and it ignites a primal desire within him to consume you entirely.
You're nervous and itâs palpable. He can see it in the way you don't even meet his eyes, refusing to face him at all. The blush adorning the apple of your cheeks is adorable; fuck, you're cute. And Heeseung doesn't like cute things. But something about you makes you the exception to his usual preferences. Your innocence only provokes him more, acting as a catalyst, intensifying his desire to unleash all his darkest fantasies on your inexperienced body. He wants to explore you, peel off your layers and dive in deep like no one has ever done before. This need, this innate urge to taint you; it drives him absolutely feral.
"Did you watch the video I sent you last night?" he asks, unable to stop himself from leaning into your space, taking a deep whiff of your vanilla perfume. You even smell like a virgin. Fresh and untainted. And, oh so tempting.Â
Your head shakes meekly, but the discreet way you bite your lower lip tells him that you did watch it. Fuck yeah. He was high and horny when he recorded that nut video. Pressing send wasnât on his agenda but his head was filled with the sinful thoughts of you and your pretty pink lips, and what better way to testify his desire to you than making you see how he looks in throes of pleasure, chanting your name like a literal dog in heat.
You yelp when his hand grabs your waist to pull you closer to himself. God, you feel good against him.
He nuzzles his nose into your warm cheek while your tiny fist makes contact with his chest "let-let go" you squeak out and it only makes him chuckle in amusement. You're so fucking cute.Â
"you liked it baby? Bet you liked how I stroked my dick nice and slow, just for you" He watches in glee as the red in your cheeks spreads all the way down to your neck. He loves how responsive you are, loves how even the littlest of words make you falter in front of him, like a frail flower caught in a sudden gust of wind. Then you look up, and Heeseung feels his breath leaving his chest, as if the air has been vacuumed from his lungs .Your big, captivating eyes meet his dark ones and he can't help but let his perverse curiosity take over his sick mind. He wonders how your pretty orbs look when you cry.Â
Scratch that. He wants to see you cry.Â
What makes this thought more unsettling is that fact that Heeseung isn't apposed to seeing you cry in pain. As long he gets to see your eyes brimming with tears , he cannot give less of a fuck about their source. He'll fuck you missionary, Heeseung decides, staring deep into your eyes while he slides deep inside your tight little pussy. His cock chubs up at the thought alone.Â
"you c-can''t send me stuff like that, it's inappropriate" you mumble shyly. He snickers and squeezes the fat of your waist, making another pathetic squeak to leave your mouth.Â
"What can I do darling, there's not one appropriate thought in my head when it comes to you. wanna do so many inappropriate things to you, youâll let me wonât you?" He whisper asks, and watches how your eyes struggle to maintain eye contact before you succumb to your shyness, choosing to look down instead.
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"Heeseung, man, itâs time to go " Jake's panicked voice interrupts the filthy words he was about to mutter in your ears again. He turns his head slightly towards the entrance of the hall and sees Jake's brown mop of hair, rustling right outside. Heeseung sighs and turns back to face you.Â
"Looks like we'll have to cut our fun short, you'll wait for my call tonight won't you baby? wanna hear your voice when I cum" He tells you, reveling in the way you only curl into yourself at his words, chewing your bottom lip raw. Fuck he wants to kiss the fuck out of you. But he can't. Not yet. Heeseung is aware of the boundaries heâs been crossing by touching you and sending you intimate stuff without your consent, and he doesn't want to push it, not so fast.He lets go of your body reluctantly and winks at you before making his way out of the hall. Jake's frantic eyes meet his once he's outside, and he rolls his eyes, already sensing an incoming lecture about morals and respect.Â
"I'm never gonna be your guard dog again, it's risky fucking business" Jake spits,brows furrowed in distress. Heeseung merely shakes his head at him "you won't get it" he mumbles as he walks ahead, leaving Jake to run to catch up to him
"Yeah, I don't see the fun in being suspended, but hey, maybe that's just me" Jake replies sarcastically ,making Heeseung give him âtheâ look. "Dramatic much?" He asks, rounding the corner to the cafeteria and making his way inside.Â
"I'm being dramatic? You're the one risking your reputation for some pussy, we can both be in jail for sexual harassment". Heeseung tunes out his friend's baseless rant and plops onto his designated seat. Jake slumps down right next to him.Â
"Man I'm just saying, that if she ever decides to go to the dean about this, your messages will be proof enough to land you in big trouble" Jake explains. âand me too because you drag me into every unethical thing like the good friend that you areâ he adds, sarcasm dripping from his tone, and Heeseung wonders when Jake fell victim to the sassy men apocalypse.Â
But you won't, you love the chase as much as he does, he can see it in your eyes, Heeseung wants to say, but he doesnât, choosing to stare at you instead. His eyes trace the movement of your figure when you enter the cafeteria sometime later. You're still hugging the book to your chest, making your way to the seat that's the farthest away from everyone else, as always. Your skirt makes his hands itch, he wants to know what lies underneath so fucking badly. He wonders if you know the effect that your modesty has on him, wonders if you know that your body being covered from head to toe gives more space for fantasy and yearning than any naked girl ever could.
"Stare any longer and your eyeballs might fall out of their sockets" Sunghoonâs berating voice brings his attention back to the table. He was so lost in you that he didn't notice sunghoon flopping down in the seat right across from him, shrugging his jacket off and throwing it unceremoniously on the table.Â
"She's gonna be the death of me" Heeseung bemoans, running an exasperated hand over his face. Sunghoon laughs and kicks his leg under the table.Â
"She already saw her name in that list that day, she knows what you want, and I don't think she'll let you anywhere near her anytime soon". Jake snorts, masking it with a cough when Heeseung shoots a glare in his direction.
He looks over at you again, finding the way you fiddle with your pen oddly erotic. He thinks he might be losing his goddamn mind, because the way he jerked off right after you angrily threw the âcherries to pop this semesterâ list on his face and stormed off , was shameful to say the least. That was the first time he had seen pure heat and raw emotion in your eyes, and damn you looked sexy as hell when you were angry.Â
"She won't be a virgin by the end of this semester, write it down" Heeseung challenges, meeting Sunghoon's eyes. His friend only shrugs in response and turns around to look at you over his shoulder.Â
"Sure, but by the looks of it, you won't be the one doing the honors" Jake snorts again , but Heeseung doesn't spare him a glance this time, his entire attention pivoted to the raven haired boy making his way over to your table. Heeseung doesn't like the way your eyes light up and you instantly sit up straighter in your seat, fixing your hair as if looking to impress. He scoffs. Loudly. Fucking park jongseong.Â
"Does she really find that dweeb attractive?" He can't help but ask, jaw clenching when he sees you blushing, genuinely blushing and smiling at someone who's not him.Â
"I dunno man, girls love that whole nerdy gentleman thing jay's got going on, some bullshit about being a green flag and all" Sunghoon supplies.
"They're friends too, lover boy's got game" Jake adds, smiling cheekily when Heeseung shoots him a dark look, yet again.Â
You're in a trance like state when you walk back home. With the whole hall incident with Heeseung, and jay approaching you at lunch, today doesnât seem real, as if belonging to a different reality altogether.
What you feel for Heeseung isn't something that you can describe in words. He.. He harasses you. He touches you and grabs you and gropes you, but within limits. His actions lie in a murky territory, perplexing the norms of acceptability, and yet, you only yearn more. does that make sense? Maybe it doesn't to normal people, but in your touch starved brain, it perfectly makes sense. Some days you hate him and some days you crave him, always oscillating between the extremes of loathing and longing. You suppose that's because he's been the only source of thrill amidst the barren landscape of your existence for a very long time. He excites you, he flusters you, but ignites flames beneath your breastbone with mere words. His gaze unnerves you and yet, you can't bring yourself to push him away. Some would call you crazy, and you won't have any convincing arguments to defend yourself.
You have been a little desperate all your life, desperate for someone to want you, desperate for someone to see you, a ceaseless yearning for recognition, for acknowledgement of your existence and you're not ashamed to admit it. After all, how far can you lie about the very thing etched into your bones and skin? And to what end?
More, more, more, the intense craving, an insatiable hunger for it defined your very being. You were an unattractive child and grew up into an even more unappealing adult , at least that's what your mother used to tell you before she eventually passed away. Her echoes of criticism resonated through your subconscious, shaping you as a mirror of her own insecurities.
That would explain why you can't meet your own eyes in the mirror, and crave attention like a drug, seeking solace in the fleeting attention Heeseung bestows upon you. He's akin to a drug that leaves you high and delusional for a while, intoxicating you with fleeting moments of desirability.
You aren't stupid though, you harbor no illusions regarding his intentions . You know what he wants from you, you are aware that you as a person don't mean a thing to him, he just wants to take your virginity and flaunt it around like a badge of peak male prowess or something, you're just another challenge to him, reduced to a mere conquest for his vanity. But you haven't felt like a person in so long, you don't think you are in any position to make demands.
When you've been parched long enough, when the thirst reaches fever pitch, threatening to push you over the verge of insanity; the yearning for satisfaction eclipses the rationality of self preservation. The moment of brief satiation held such a twisted appeal, that you were willing to embrace pain and self destruction if it came along with a fleeting sense of fulfillment. The need for validation clouds your judgement, and you become nothing but a mindless puppet of your desires.
That might also explain why your crush on park jongseong is still alive after being brutally rejected in the first semester. Jay and you had developed a friendship really quickly at the very beginning of college, but both of you had never really talked outside of the university hackathons and coding competitions. His knowledge was what drew you to him, and the way he was able to come up with solutions to the most complex problems while you were fighting for your life, it just left you with no choice but to watch him with heart eyes. He was always polite to you too, and what were you if not a sucker for gentle and soft spoken men.Â
He stopped talking to you after you confessed though, not completely because you still had to work on projects together, but conversations became more one sided and short, and so eventually, you just grew apart.
But ever since you got grouped together for the Cp techathon, he has started acting different; thereâs so many lingering touches and subtle flirty glances that sometimes youâre sure youâre imagining everything in your head. Maybe you should get checked out for maladaptive daydreaming. Just a suggestion.
You're pulled out of your thoughts when you reach the curb of your house and don't see your dad's car parked inside. You breathe out a sigh of relief at the sight and proceed to make your way to your neighborâs house. Suzy, your 60 year old neighbor, might be the only good thing going on for you. As you ring her door bell, you can't help but feel excited at the prospect of seeing your brother after an entirety of 2 whole weeks. Pitter patter of slippers approaches the door , and Suzy's wrinkled face greets you with a warm smile, as if she was already expecting you.Â
"Hi" you smile, and she motions behind her, at the loud chatter of your brother.Â
"Jihoon has not stopped asking for you for a second" She says , and you can't help but laugh as you make your way inside.Â
The four year old stops talking to his toys as soon as he sees you, his blue orbs staring at you for a whole minute in amazement, and then , as if snapping out of a trance, he sprints towards you at the speed of lightening. "Y/n! " he squeals.
You giggle when he tackles you with a hug, sighing in contentment at finally feeling him so close. You're hit with a sudden urge to cry, feeling his tiny arms wrap around your neck, being away from him never gets easy no matter how many times you have done it. You coo as he tells you how much he missed you, burying his tiny frame further into your chest. You press several kisses to his face and tell him you missed him just as much.Â
"Will you be taking him home today?" Suzy asks, coming over to sit down on the couch in front of you. You caress the back of jihoon's head, rocking him back and forth in your embrace, and meet her eyes, nodding a little. "Dad won't be home for a few weeks, hopefully, his car isn't there" you tell her. She nods in understanding and pats your arm, letting you know with her eyes, that she'll be here if you need her.Â
You're grateful for her, she's the only person you can entrust your little brother with when things start to get bad at home. On the days your dad decides to get shit faced and break everything in the house, succumbing to bouts of inebriation, you're grateful that you can keep jihoon away from the violence. You honestly don't know what you would do without Suzy, the only steadfast refuge from the chaos that is your life. In some way, you are aware that having jihoon over alleviates her loneliness too, fulfilling her own needs of companionship that she deeply craves in her old age.
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Occasionally, you're hit with a wave of inevitable jealousy at jihoonâs sheltered innocence, wishing that someone had kept you away too; from the violence and the pain. But you guess you were meant to be the protector instead of the protected, healing your inner child every time you see jihoon smiling brighter than the sun. If you had to live through all the suffering again , just to preserve and shelter his infectious smile, you would do it in a heartbeat.Â
Suzy hands you a box of home made food when you make your way outside. "I promise to be back for you in a few hours sweetie, you will behave right?" you coo at jihoon's snotty, red nose as he clings onto your leg, begging you to take him with you. You sigh and watch in helplessness as Suzy picks him up in her arms, shushing him down so you can leave. It never gets easier.
Returning home, you dodge the broken pieces of glass and frames, quickly get out of your college attire, throwing on a pair of worn out jeans and a discolored top. There's still an hour for you to be at your part time job , and so you start cleaning the house instead. You don't know why you bother, to be honest, but there's an innate need that craves normalcy. When the house is clean, that means everything is going to be okay. Cleaning serves as a ritual of order amidst chaos, offering a sense of control amidst uncertainty.
Your shift at the cafe ends in a daze, countless customers come in and go out, some rude, some decent but you have learnt to take everything in a stride now. First month you had started working this job, you were a crying mess after the end of almost every shift, your sensitive little heart unable to comprehend why people were so rude. However, just like everything else in your life, you adapted to the demands of the job pretty quickly. As you stare at the now almost deserted cafe, save for a handful of students engrossed in their laptops, you pray that no one else comes in. Fatigue weighs heavily upon you, youâre exhausted out of your mind and just want to get out of here as soon as you can. Yet, as the familiar chime of the entrance bell resounds, signaling the arrival of yet another customer, you resign yourself to another interaction.
Your head snaps towards the door and your jaw quite literally falls to the floor. For as long as you have worked here, you've never run into any of your classmates. However, today out of all days, when you look like the wall mart version of the walking dead, park fucking jongseong is here. Because of course he is, your life has to be a social experiment.Â
You pull yourself together when you realize that he's smiling at you, and you aren't smiling back. "Hi" you squeak out, fairly sure that you sounded pathetic. He grins at your flustered state, and leans closer to you on the counter.Â
"Hi" He whispers back, your heart beating faster at the look he's giving you. You stare at his perfectly parted raven hairs and mentally pass out when he fiddles with his lip ring.Â
"Um-so- what can i get you?" You stutter out, finally coming to your senses and realizing that you have a job. His eyes travel down to your chest , and he leans further into your personal space, his expensive cologne filling up your senses.Â
"I'll take you" He replies smoothly.
"I-, what-you huh" you splutter, not quite trusting your own ears. There's no way Jay is flirting with you right now. The crush that you've harbored for the boy blooms in full glory as he continues to smile at you, a suggestive glint in his eyes. His smile is so damn pretty.
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"I'm kidding pretty girl, I just saw you from across the street and thought I'd say hi, and ask if you need a ride back home" He explains. Your lips tug into a shy smile at the nickname, and you peek outside to see his gray Volkswagen parked across the street. Oh wow, Jay thinks you're pretty AND he wants to give you a ride back home. Why does that sound so familiar? Youâre pretty sure you saw this same scenario playing out in one of your lovesick dreams last week.
"Oh-um- i don't wanna cause you any trouble" you mumble , hoping that he doesn't see the way your back is ramrod straight all of a sudden. You never really prepared yourself for the possibility of him , or anyone for that matter, wanting to drop you at your house. You're not ashamed of your neighborhood or the life that you live, but you despise the looks of judgement and pity more. You have managed to maintain this facade of a properly put together person for so long in college, and it has saved you so much mental torture that you know would ensue once everyone gets to know about your humble abode, and how your scholarship is the only reason youâre able to afford your college.Â
"come on sweetheart, would I really walk all the way across the street if I really didn't wanna see you?" He asks, fiddling with his lip ring again. If you didn't know any better, you would say he looks sort of nervous. But why would anyone be nervous of you. Of all people.Â
You nod meekly and mumble a quick "my shift gets over in 5 minutes", trying to wrap your head around the fact that Jay wanted to see you. HE wanted to see YOU. Jay winks at you and makes his way outside. You follow him with your eyes as he crosses the street and goes back inside his car, waiting for you.Â
HE'S WAITING FOR YOU. What on godâs green earth.Â
Seeing that there's only one customer left, you hurriedly make your way to the ladies toilet and wash your face, trying to get rid of the tiredness and grime off of it. What if he kisses you? Your own delusion makes you laugh. You do have some nerve at coming up with such insane scenarios in your head. He's just being nice, and here you are, hearing wedding bells.Â
You reapply your lip balm and take off the apron you were adorning over your tee. You look okay. Well. There's not much you can do in the current situation anyway. You do hope that he overlooks how unkempt you look compared to your college appearance. Should you untie your hairs? But, wouldn't that be too much? He just saw you with a ponytail... fuck it, it's like a once in a lifetime opportunity anyway. You untie your hairs and let them fall in cascades over your shoulders. This is better.
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You clean up behind you and inform the remaining customer that it's closing time. Handing the keys to Ralph, the security guard, you quickly run across the street, not wanting to make him wait any longer. Jay opens the car door for you from the inside even before you can reach it.
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"Hop in" He says, a grin in his voice and he doesn't have to ask you twice.
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This might be the most expensive car you've ever had the opportunity to sit in. The leather is soft against your skin, and it smells of fresh citrus. Even his car smells good.Â
"So, Where to darling?" He asks, running his eyes all over you. You feel a little self conscious under his gaze but manage to utter your address nonetheless.
The entire ride is mostly silent with little conversation that he makes, asking you for directions. It isn't awkward, and you're so grateful for that.Â
"Is this it?" He asks, stopping his car in front of the building whose name you blurted instead of your real address.Â
You nod and thank him, ready to get out of the car when he grabs your wrist, pulling you into him. The middle console digs into your stomach but you honestly couldn't care less with the way his hot breath falls on your face.Â
Your cheeks are warm and you are sure that you represent a tomato with the way the heat only increases when he tucks your hairs behind your ear with his other hand.Â
And oh god, he's leaning in, his eyes fixed onto your lips as he inches closer and closer and-Â
As if on autopilot, You push him away. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment at how taken aback he looks by your sudden reaction.Â
"I-im sorry i- i don't-
"I thought you liked me" He says in a hostile tone, and you can hear the annoyance in his voice, can see the indignation in his eyes.Â
You can't believe you just pissed off your longtime crush because of your inability to be normal. How could you have fucked up so badly?Â
"I-i do, I do like you" You mumble quickly, trying to hold your tears at bay when he scoffs at your words. The shame weighs heavy on your chest as he stares at you a bit longer before looking forward towards the road.Â
"Goodnight y/n" He replies sharply, in the most coldest voice you have ever seen him use towards you.Â
Your lips quiver as you wrack your brain for something to say but you don't think you can say anything to fix this now. You've made a fool of yourself and embarrassed Jay all because you can't be fucking normal about anything.Â
He presses the horn aggressively, and you jump, mumbling apologies and scurrying out of his car hurriedly. Your ears burn in humiliation when he drives off without sparing a single glance towards you.Â
Well done y/n. Your habit of being self sabotaging never really will go away. You cry all the way back to your house, not understanding the abrupt downturn of promising events. It was going so well. He was going to kiss you. You were so close to having your first kiss.Â
You wipe your tears dry when you get close to your house. Jihoon is fast asleep in Suzy's arms when she hands him over to you. You thank her for her kindness and make your way to your house, cradling jihoon's sleeping form. When he cuddles into your neck, his innocent embrace evokes a flood of pent up tears; all that you've been pushing back today, comes flooding out. You can't help but wonder if you'll ever be able to sleep this carefree in someone's arms. If there's love meant for you,then you have never felt it once in your life, and you wonder if it's too late now.
You're crying when you tuck him tenderly into bed, crying when you leave a wet kiss on his forehead, caressing his soft cheeks. You're crying when you try to eat the food Suzy gave you in the afternoon, and you're crying when you rub off all the evidence of today from your body inside the shower. At one point, you arenât even sure what youâre crying about.
Thankfully, when you come out of the shower, the tears have ceased. You embrace the numbness which spreads all over your body after a soul crushing sob session. Itâs funny really, how quickly you seem to turn your emotions on and off like a flip switch, like they arenât even real at all.
Once your emotions are out of the way, and jihoon is asleep, you can't help but relish in the feeling of your skin under your fingertips. You aren't particularly horny, you just want to feel better and sleep with an empty mind. Masturbation always seems to work.
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You throw off your towel and crawl onto the bed, spreading your legs and rubbing small circles on your clit, trying to get yourself wet. You rub and rub, and whine when it starts to feel somewhat good. Still, it isn't good enough to get you soaked thoroughly, so that you can cum again and again to your heart's content.
You groan frustratedly and reach for your phone, feeling extremely ashamed when your finger hovers over heeseung's chats. Your pussy tingles in excitement when you read his lewd words, attached to the video he sent you yesterday.Â
"Gonna fuck you so good if you give me a chance baby, look how hard you make this dick"
You bite your lower lip and press play, rubbing your thighs together at the wet sounds coming from the video. His dick is so thick and girthy, curving upwards in excitement. His fingers look so long wrapped around his cock, you canât help but squeeze your thighs at the thought of feeling them inside of you.
The way he moves his palm, up and down, up and down, moaning and groaning your name in pleasure, it has you writhing in no time. You will never admit it to heeseung, but he's the only person you ever think of while touching yourself. He turns you on beyond belief. He turns you on in a way that feels wrong. Almost Taboo.Â
You continue to rub your clit to the sight of him jerking off, hoping that you could see his face in the video too. You wonder what he looks like when he's feeling good. The thought alone is enough to have you dripping in no time. You throw your phone onto the bed, but before you can start fingering your leaking pussy, your phone rings, making you groan in annoyance.Â
You reach beside your head to pick it up and almost drop it on your face when you see heeseung's name flashing on your screen.
Fuck. What the fuck.
When he told you in college that he was gonna call, you really didn't think he actually will. But the phone is ringing and your body lights up in excitement. Is he really going to jerk off on call? Is he really that perverse?
Curiosity gets the better of you, and you swipe right, chewing on your lower lip as you press the phone against your ear.Â
"Hey baby, I didn't think you would pick up, missed me didn't ya? " His cocky voice blares through the speaker and you blush. How was he making you blush over the phone, get a fucking grip y/n.
He chuckles when you don't say anything, finding your silence cute.Â
"At least say a hi for me baby, so I can know that I'm not about to jerk off for your dad" His words make you wince, why was he so vulgar?Â
"Heeseung!" You whisper shout, trying to convey through your voice how scandalized you are.
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"There she is, fuck pretty, you're gonna stay with me on call while I beat my meat for you yeah?" He grunts and you gasp, feeling violated by his language alone.Â
You rub your thighs and fiddle with your pebbled nipples "c-can you not use such words? " you ask quietly, hoping that he doesn't pick up on the silent whine that leaves your mouth right after.Â
You hear a little shuffling on the line and your face feels hot. So he really is getting ready to jerk off? What will he say if you tell him how wet you are for him right now?
Heeseung can't believe you haven't hung up on him yet. His dick getting harder and harder the more that he hears your cute fucking voice.Â
"Nah baby, I'm a nasty motherfucker, you should know that. If you ever let me fuck your cunt, I'll show you what real nasty sex feels like" He says, groaning when he hears you whimper at his words. Fuck. Why the fuck are you so fucking cute.Â
He hisses when he wraps his rough palm around his leaking prick, he hasn't even started jerking off yet and he's already leaking so much precum.
Heeseung doesn't like cute things, but fuck does he want to fuck into one, wants to pound your cute little pussy while you make those cute little sounds for him.Â
His ears perk up when he hears the wet squelching sounds coming through the speaker. Fuck. Fuck are you--?Â
"baby, are you touching yourself? I can hear your wet little cunt through the phone" He grunts, as if in pain.
The moan that you let out tells him all that he needs to know. And damn he's never been so fucking hard before.Â
"fuck yeah baby, fuck yourself with your tiny little fingers, make yourself feel real good for me" He groans, stroking his cock at a rapid pace, unable to stop himself from going feral. This is the first time that you have given him the taste of what it really could be like if he was buried in your wet snatch. It's driving him batshit crazy.Â
"H-heeseung" you mewl, making him fuck into his fist faster. God, you sound so sexy. The heat spreads all over his body, making him feel so damn good that he starts bucking up his hips into his hands.Â
"Y-yeah? Feels so good yeah , baby? Fuck, I wish It was my cock buried in you right now, I would pound you all fucking night -ugh fuckk" he grunts, panting as he feels the knot in his stomach tighten. He wants to cum so bad.Â
Your whines reach a fever pitch and the intensity of the wet squelch increases. God, the filthy sounds of your wetness as you play with your pussy, make his tongue loll out of his mouth. He needs to bury his face in your juices before he dies.
"g-gonna c-um im-ah" you moan, whining and panting as your orgasm gets closer.
Heeseung curses under his breath and jerks off furiously, squeezing his engorged dick head and hissing in pure pleasure.Â
"Oh yeah, cum all over my fucking cock baby, make a fucking mess, I'm gonna give you my cum too" He moans, thrusting up into his fist, again and again and again, chasing his high desperately. His palm is a wet, sticky mess of precum while he strokes his shaft to your whiny voice. You make him so fucking horny, the brutal way he's fisting his dick is a testament to that.Â
A loud moan on your end makes him cuss, his own eyes rolling back as he hears you cumming. So fucking cute, god you sound heavenly. His hips buck up into his fist a few more times before he's spurting thick strings of his cum all over his chest and palm. He plants his feet onto the bed, and thrusts up into his fist over and over to drain himself of all that he has to give.
Fucking hell, that was probably the best jerk off session of his life. Before he can tell you that, however, you hang up on him.Â
Heeseung chuckles in exhaustion and doesn't even bother cleaning his body, laying on the bed in pure sexual satiation.Â
You're so cute.Â
The events of yesterday hit you hard in the morning. Your eyes are swollen and red because of the crying session you had after masturbation. When the high of the orgasm wore off, everything else came back and it hurt like a bitch.Â
You can't believe you let heeseung talk you through your orgasm, you can't believe that he made you cum without touching you, and what you can't believe the most is how much you liked it.Â
Your mind drifts off to Jay, and a sudden shame fills you up again. No matter how hard you try, you're unable to forget the look of disappointment on his face, looking at you with so much annoyance etched onto the creases of his face, it almost reminded you of your mother.
Your gaze goes to the clock and you can't help but heave yourself out of the bed. As much as you'd like to stay and rot in extreme self pity, you don't have the option. Jihoon will be up soon, and you have a limited one hour stretch to make his lunch and get ready for college. You're not ready for the walk of shame to college, but being an academic weapon is your only achievement in life. You wonder what you would be if they take that away from you. Have you ever done anything else? Gone out, made friends? Got drunk at parties, had sleepovers? You haven't, you realize with a throbbing pain at the back of your head. It never was an option for you.Â
You take a shower and fix a quick breakfast for your brother and yourself, getting ready in your prim and proper attire, reverting back to your put together front.Â
Waking up jihoon is a work of lost art that you've mastered over the years, and so it's easy work. What isn't easy, however, is to convince him to let you go.Â
"Why can't you stayy" He whines, tears already filling up his big, brown eyes as he clings to your leg like always.Â
You kneel down to come face to face with him and quickly wipe his tears away "I'm going to bring back chocolates, you like them right?" you ask, cooing when he nods, his brows still furrowed in defiance.Â
"Then someone will have to go and bring them right? so be a good boy and let y/n go"Â
His little brows furrow further and he shakes his head again "suzy can go" He declares, and you can't help but be endeared. All the time that you stay away from him, you'd started to believe that he'll develop more of an attachment with suzy and eventually forget you. But these little things, these are the things that keep you going.Â
You plant a big kiss on his puffy cheeks and he's back to grinning in no time, giggling as you tackle him in your arms.Â
"Just a few more hours baby, I'll be back and we'll play together, I promise" you assure the little boy and his eyes shine at your words, "swings! at the park!" He exclaims, as if remembering the most important treasure of his life. You nuzzle his nose with your own and intertwine your pinky with his tiny one in a promise. It's so easy to make him happy, your perfect little baby.Â
You pepper jihoon with a few more kisses before dropping him off at Suzy's.
Your heart tugs when he starts to cry for you again, but this is your life, you suppose.Â
You keep your head down the entire way to class, lest you run into Jay and embarrass yourself again. Luckily for you, Jay isn't in his designated seat in the automata class, and you canât help but breath a sigh of relief.
The relief is tremendously short lived tho, because Lee Heeseung is sprawled on the seat right next to yours in his full glory.Â
Your cheeks turn red when your eyes meet his cocky ones. He smirks and raises a suggestive brow when you don't make a move to come any closer.Â
"Do you plan to stand for the entirety of this two hour lecture baby?" He asks, suckling on the pop sickle that he always seems to have somehow. You quickly scan the seats around you, deciding fuck it, and plop onto jay's seat instead. There's no way you will be able to spend two whole hours under Heeseung's lecherous gaze. After last night, you have no idea how to face him. Even on normal days he leaves you extremely flustered and a clumsy mess.Â
You can feel his gaze burning holes at the back of your head for the entire duration of the lecture. Sometime in the middle of the lesson, a crumpled paper hits the back of your head. You turn around, shooting heeseung an annoyed look. At least you try to look annoyed. The blush is still prominent on your cheekbones so you can only imagine what you look like to him.Â
He motions his head towards the ball of paper lying near your feet. As much as you want to ignore his shenanigans and focus on the lecture, curiosity always gets the best of you.Â
You unfold it quickly, tucking it inside your book so that nobody else can catch the words scribbled on it.Â
"Wait for me in the janitor's closet"Â Â
You shoot a defying look towards heeseung and crumple the paper back to land it near his jordans. It's equivalent to you saying "I won't"Â
Heeseung only grins at you, shooting a wink in your direction, as if to reply
"I know you will"
He has some audacity, you think, as you make your way to the janitor's closet after class. A slave to your desires, you suppose.
A part of you is nervous and ashamed when his 6 feet tall figure enters the limited space of the closet, caging you against the wall. However, the other part of you, the desperate part of you , preens in the attention, almost feeling a sick pride in the fact that you made him cum too. And maybe even harder, if the way he was moaning last night was anything to go by.
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His large hands circle your waist , and your breath hitches in your throat when he pulls you closer to himself, his nose touching yours while his hot breaths warm your mouth.Â
"have sex with me" He says, leaving you speechless, yet again. It's not that he hasn't said those exact same words and even worse things to you before. It's the bluntness that never fails to take you by surprise.Â
You shake your head, trying to push yourself out of his grasp. He's stubborn tho, and so damn strong, his hold like an iron grip around your body.Â
"Cmon- he groans in frustration- you can have sex with me on the phone but not in person, how is that fucking fair? "
You whimper when he squeezes the fat of your waist harshly, as if branding your body in his hold. You aren't used to being touched so wantonly, and it makes a sick shiver run down the length of your spine.
"W-we did not have s-sex" you splutter, staring right back into his orbs. His heavy lidded eyes travel down to your lips and he leans in, making you gasp loudly when his pink tongue comes out to taste your lower lip, licking it tentatively. Almost experimental in how he runs it all over your lower plump lip. He pulls away before he can steal your first kiss, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel somewhat disappointed.Â
"Yes we did have sex. Your tight little pussy came for my fucking cock while you were moaning my name" He supplies cockily, his words sending a wave of heat rushing down between your legs.Â
He buries his nose in the crook of your neck and presses his body flush into yours, grinding the proof of his desire against your leg.
"Look what you do to me, fuck baby, if you won't let me fuck your cunt, at least take responsibility for your own actions" He grunts into your skin and you can't help the pathetic moan that leaves your mouth.Â
"H-how" you ask, feeling yourself getting wetter the more that he humps your leg.Â
Heeseung doesn't reply to you, instead, takes your hand that's clutching his shoulder and presses it against his hard on instead.Â
"fuck yeahhh" He hisses, apparently craving your touch like a drug.Â
you're sure your face can't get any redder than this. If it wasn't for his tight hold on your body, your knees would have buckled and given up a while ago. The feeling of a dick underneath your palm is foreign but so arousing, the fact that you did this to him. Heâs hard for You.Â
"Come on baby, squeeze it like you mean it, make me feel fucking good" He hisses, groaning into your neck when you squeeze him softly. The hardness in his jeans seems to get thicker and thicker, it fascinates you.Â
He ruts his hips into your palm, desperately,trying to chase the delicious friction while he pants into your soft flesh.
"Fuck, it's not enough" He curses, pulling back from you to unbuckle himself.
You bite into your lower lip in arousal and squeeze your thighs to alleviate some of the pressure you feel between your legs.Â
He looks up into your eyes, licking on his lips as he plays with the band of his boxer briefs. He watches in amusement, the way that your eyes can't seem to focus on one single thing, jumping from here to there, so nervous,so pretty and . God, you're cute.Â
He takes your hand in his own again and slips it inside his boxers, covering your palm with his own while he uses your soft hand to jerk himself off.Â
The hot and heavy feel of his leaking length has you whining. That only makes him chuckle and groan. "Mhmmn baby that feels so good"
The wet and messy way in which he uses your palm to stroke his length up and down, it's addicting, your palm feels soft and his whole body shivers when he sees how desperately you're squirming, your eyes wide and glossy. He wants to fucking ruin you.Â
He presses his body further into yours, taking your earlobe into his mouth, small whimpers falling from his mouth while his movements get faster. Your palm is slick with his precum, it should gross you out but everything is so hot and heavy in the small space.Â
"Are you wet? Just from feeling my dick? Desperate little thing aren't you? " He muses. You shake your head meekly, averting your gaze from his sweaty face and looking down to observe the rapid movements of your combined hands inside his boxers.Â
"M'not wet" you mewl, eliciting a mocking laugh from the boy. He trails his kisses down the tempting length of your neck, the touch so sensual, it leaves you gasping.Â
"I can feel your pretty little body squirming against me you know, makes me wanna force my dick inside you, where will you run if I do? " he asks, biting your collarbone when the slide of his dick gets wetter and squelchier.Â
His words, instead of scaring you, make an inexplicable heat to ignite your insides. You want him to, you can't believe how bad you want him to act on his desires because you know you don't have the courage to act on your own.Â
"f-fuck, pretty, moan for me baby, wanna hear you when I cum" He sighs into your neck, nipping at your skin and planting kisses in between his moans.
Hearing his words make you keen and he curses under his breath. The hold of his palm is brutal, your hand hurts but God does it feel good to hear him so desperate and needy, whining so hotly in your ear.
"fuck I'm so close so -ugh god-" His voice fades into a delicious moan and you can feel yourself dripping, your juices running down the length your thighs.Â
You don't hold back on your sounds, letting small whimpers leave your mouth when he digs his teeth into your skin again.Â
"Why won't you let me fuck you baby, wanna be the first to get inside your virgin little pussy so bad" He pants, supporting himself with a hand planted beside your head on the wall while he continues to masturbate using your flesh.Â
It's exhilarating, it's hot, and it's so scandalous.Â
"H-heeseung! " You moan when he lathers the skin of your neck with his saliva, tasting your skin like his life depends on it.Â
"Sh-shit" He stutters, the lewd way you cry out his name make his eyes roll back to the back of his head. You gasp when you feel his hot length twitching repeatedly, warm, thick liquid covering your entire palm along with his own.Â
His hips stutter a few more times inside your hold before stilling, a large sigh of satisfaction leaving his lips.
"Fucking hell baby, you always make me cum so hard" He whispers, chuckling to himself.Â
He pulls your hand out of his boxers and wipes his hand off on his jeans, while you watch in silence with face turning crimson. He dresses himself and winks at you before walking out of the closet, leaving you standing there with your palm covered in his sticky, gooey cum.Â
You feel used, but at least youâre useful for something.Â
To say that you are sick of yourself would be an understatement. You feel violated, but some sick part of you enjoys being desired so wantonly. It turns you on. Heeseung doesn't love you, scratch that, he doesn't even like you but here you are, letting him use your body like some mindless sex toy anytime he damn well pleases. You wonder what that says about you. Sure, he's a jerk, but what are you?
You're lost in thoughts, walking home when a loud honk makes you jump on the sidewalk. You turn towards the car honking at you and come to a halt, facing the very familiar Volkswagen.Â
Thereâs no way.
"Come on sweetheart, get inside" Jay grins at you from the inside of his car. You blink at a him a couple of time to really make sure that he's here. After the complete fiasco last night, you really weren't expecting to hear from him so fast. Or at all for that matter.
Nonetheless, he is here, and he's asking you to get inside his car. With your eyes downcast, you crawl towards it and slip inside the passenger seat, playing with your fingers while you avoid looking at him at all costs. He doesn't start the car, but you can feel the weight of his gaze on the side of your face.Â
"I'm sorry about last night" He begins, and you can't help but look up at him astonished. Why was he sorry? You were the one who royally fucked up.Â
He smiles at you apologetically and reaches out a hand to caresses your cheek by the back of it. If you weren't mentally screaming, you're sure you would have said something, and assured him that he has nothing to be sorry about.Â
"I just, I shouldn't have tried to kiss you so fast, at least not without taking you on a date first. it's just that we've been friends for so long, and we both like each other, so it just seemed like the right thing to do" He explains, remorse dripping from his tone. You start to node your head in support of his sentiments when his words click inside your brain.Â
Wait.Â
"Y-you like me?" You blurt, cheeks flaming when his gaze falls to your mouth and he traces your bottom lip with his thumb.Â
"So much that i forgot how to behave" He mutters in a trance, all his attention focused on fiddling with your plump and fleshy lower lip.
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You blush at his words and avert your gaze back down to your lap, and he pulls his hand back. You want to whine at the loss of contact, enjoying too much being caressed so softly. When was the last time you were touched so gently?
"Before I try to kiss you again, because I will, you're too pretty to resist- he chuckles, and you try to bite back the smile that's threatening to break free on your face- would you like to go on an aquarium date with me? A little birdy told me that is your dream date" He grins at you, wiggling his eyebrows when you look into his kind eyes, and you let your giggles take over your body. The fact that he remembers your random rant from months ago shoots a giddy feeling through your heart. It feels good being remembered.Â
"How about tomorrow? Skip college and let me take you out? " He suggests and you nod rapidly, almost detaching your neck from its socket. Jay only laughs at you endearingly, and it makes you blush even more.Â
He drops you off at the same building as last night again, and both of you are grinning from ear to ear when he drives off. You're sure you catch a few stray looks from the passerbys when they see you beaming and giggling like an idiot as you walk back home with an obvious skip in your step. Itâs ridiculous, really, but it feels good to have something to look forward to in a very long time.
You sigh loudly when you remember the promise you made to jihoon this morning. You're mentally calculating the time you have prior to when you need to be at the cafe, when Suzy's door opens before you can even knock on it, and out comes your little brother, bounding, and giggling in a high pitched scream.
You squat down to catch him in your arms before he can collide with your legs.Â
"Looks like someone missed me" You giggle, hugging the little life close to your body, sighing upon inhaling the familiar scent of his baby powder.Â
"Missed yew" He mumbles into your throat, his little hands wrapped around your neck, and you canât help but coo at him in adoration. "Missed you too my baby, y/n loves you so much"
"He has been so excited the entire day, he wouldn't even eat until I told him you'll be mad if he didn't" Suzy tells you, coming out of her house with jihoon's water bottle in her hand. You laugh at her words, and pick your brother up in your arms while he continues to nuzzle into you.Â
"I'll take him to the park for a bit, I have about an hour before my shift starts" You inform her and she nods at you, running her experienced warm eyes over your face.
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"You look happy darling" She notes and you can't help the blush that dusts your cheeks at her words. She apparently notices , cooing at how shy you are all of a sudden.
"is it a boy y/n, yes or no?" She asks, a teasing lilt in her voice and you bite your lower lip, nodding in a giddy manner.Â
"It is, I have a date tomorrow" you admit, unable to conceal the excitement in your voice. She gasps and pats your head "what a fortunate man he'll be to have someone as amazing as you darling" She whispers, pure emotion shining in her eyes.
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You swallow the lump forming in your throat at her words, averting your gaze and mumbling a small thank you. No, you refuse to cry today, you had your fill of indulging in your emotions yesterday.
So, you push her words to the recess of your mind, where you securely encase them in a metaphorical box, stacking it up on a bunch of age old boxes. Emotions that you adamantly refused to confront and deal with, a stance that you still maintain.
As you sit staring at your wardrobe, a sense of urgency washes over you and you come to two stark realizations.Â
Firstly, you need to buy more clothes. The sparse collection of garments hanging before you testified to this necessity.
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Secondly, and perhaps more pressing, was the acute awareness that none of what you have is remotely suitable for a date.
Jay is supposed to pick you up in a mere hour and you don't have anything to wear. Well, there's a blue halter neck dress that you wore for freshmen party in your first year, which you're sure doesn't fit you now. There's 3 silk pressed shirts which you alternate at your college, a handful of skirts and a scattering of sweaters.Â
And that's it.Â
You're about to cry when you feel a wave of panic rising within you. Youâre o utterly unprepared for this moment.
As the crushing clarity threatens to overwhelm you, a pang of longing sweeps through you. You wish you had a girlfriend. It's not like you don't have friends, you talk to several people in school, be it for work or just casual chatting , but that's about it. Your relations with other people end as soon as you step out of your university building. Of course, you know that it's your own fault that you don't have anyone in your life, you never really put in the effort to keep up with someone, a casualty of your own reluctance to invest in deeper connections.
Whenever someone tries to delve deeper into your life, you just push back, and you push back hard. You are too consumed with your own life, you suppose. It's not that you have never had any friends either, you have had quite a lot, in fact, you even had a best friend in middle school. Time really changed you as a person though, its not to say that she didn't change either, time changes everyone, but your change had been tangible. You just let everyone go, choosing to stay in your own miserable bubble, blocking all attempts of reaching out or any support that you so desperately needed. Each flicker of friendship extinguished, each bond severed, bore the weight of your own self imposed isolation. You did this to yourself, you weren't a victim of circumstances no matter how much self pity you reserve for yourself. You were the architect of your own solitude, barricading yourself within the confines of your melancholic safety. You tell yourself that itâs better this way, that you donât need anyone, but how long can you fool yourself?
The halter dress is the only option left for you it seems.Â
The dress is not tight, but anyone looking at it can tell that it's not made to fit your body either. It's not revealing, but you can't call it modest either, at least by your standards, you don't think you've ever shown so much skin before. The blue one piece ends smack in the middle of your thighs, your chest is covered for the most part, and the long sleeves cover up your arms. If it's not for the unfamiliar sight of your bare legs, everything looks quite normal, you don't look hideous so that's a relief.Â
You opt for leaving your hairs open, because last time you did that, Jay tried to kiss you.Â
You wait for Jay at the entrance of your false residence. If he finds it odd that you're already outside, he doesn't comment on it, and you're grateful for that.Â
"Wow" Jay says as soon as you enter his car â you look so hotâ, making your ears turn bright red.Â
"T-thank you" you mumble, trying not to be bothered by how blatantly he is ogling at your exposed thighs, or how his eyes linger due to your dress riding upwards when you sit down.Â
You both make casual conversation during the drive, and it's comfortable, the casual back and forth just like old friends. You can get used to this, you tell yourself.
The aquarium that he takes you to is bigger than your entire university building, so pretty and so enchanting, you almost lose track of time. Ever since you were little, you have dreamed of visiting one, you remember writing the same in one of your introductory papers in second semester, a paper that was discussed in class as well. How jay managed to remember that is beyond you tho. Throughout the date, he keeps you updated on every thing that you come across, and it feels good to have his attention completely focused on you. You almost combust when he takes you to a restaurant after the aquarium date, thoroughly flabbergasted because you've never been on a date before.Â
The experience is something you will never forget, your first date, the thought makes you feel ecstatic, the wide smile on your face which refuses to go away is a testament to that.Â
Turns out, your first kiss happens in the same night as well. As soon as Jay parks his car outside your trademark building, he's all over you. He doesn't ask you, he just leans over to you and smashes his lips against yours, tasting your hot mouth eagerly. You don't know what you're doing, your hands are placed awkwardly over his chest while you try to move your lips against his, mimicking his movements to the best of your ability. He doesn't seem bothered by your lack of skills tho, just diving into your mouth with his tongue, one hand cupping your face while with the other, he gropes your thighs.Â
You push back your discomfort and revel in the feeling of his touch, gasping when he bites into your lower lip. He tastes like the wine you drank at the restaurant and you wonder if you taste the same to him.Â
The kiss ends too soon for your liking, but, the feeling of his dark eyes and rough hands running all over the length of your body shamelessly, follows you back home.Â
You ignore heeseung's calls for the next few days, almost contemplating blocking his number once and for all, but for some reason, you canât bring yourself to do it.
Your dates with Jay continue, and you do manage to buy yourself a new dress. Youâre doing well for your first relationship, if you can even call it that.
Even though Jay does seem to love kissing you, never in a million did you ever think that you'd find yourself in such a compromising position. However, here you are, sitting on Jay's lap in the middle of class while he eats your face. Yes, he's actually devouring your mouth, tongue buried so deep into your throat that the feeling has you arching your body into him.Â
What makes the experience more thrilling is the audience you have. Your classmates had collectively gasped when Jay pulled you onto his lap seemingly out of nowhere. But, it isn't them that you are worried about. It's the boy at the back of the class with a perfect scowl etched onto his handsome face as he watches you make out with someone that's not him.Â
Heeseung looks livid and you wonder why. Is he upset because he thinks you aren't a virgin anymore?Â
Jay lets you go with a smirk when the professor announces his presence, and you rush to your seat that's right in front of the scowling boy, in a daze. It's actually amazing how he ignores you the entire lecture, something that has never happened before. what's more unsettling is the fact that you are mildly disappointed by that.Â
You want to ask him what he's upset about, but you aren't able to gather the courage to. As much as heeseung's a constant itch at the back of your head, you remind yourself that you're dating Jay now, so you can't be thinking about other men.Â
You're dating Jay now. You're dating Jay. You're dating.Â
None of those sentences sound real to you.Â
However, the giddy feeling inside your chest dwindles as Jay gets more and more touchy throughout the entire day. You can't tell if it's normal to grope your chest just a few days after you had your first kiss, but you don't want to make him upset again. You donât like seeing him angry. Besides, isn't this what you always wanted? Someone to want you, someone to love you?Â
And haven't you let Heeseung do worse things to you anyway? Why haven't you ever felt such discomfort when Heeseung used your body to get himself off? . But the truth is, has Heeseung ever touched you this way? Sure he sends you inappropriate messages that are borderline harassment, sure he used your hand to jerk himself off once, sure he wants your virginity and he has made his intentions clear, but has he ever ventured beneath your clothes before?Â
He has never groped your body before, not like Jay is doing. Now that you think about it, heeseung has never even kissed you before. Your mind makes countless comparisons between Heeseung and Jay, and you wonder why you do that to yourself. Were you really comparing the guy whose whole purpose of pursuing you was to pop your cherry and wear it like a symbol of achievement, to the boy that likes you and took you to your dream date?Â
A gasp leaves your throat when jay grabs your ass, smacking it and making you yelp between harsh kisses. You're glad you're in his car and not outside, glad that people aren't there to witness you being touched like this.
"You're so pretty" He whispers in your ear, and so you latch onto his words and overlook his actions.
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Now that you have someone who likes you back, do you really want to push him away? Do you want to let your useless self doubt and trust issues stop you from living your life yet again? No.Â
Thus, you push your discomfort to the back of your mind when his hand travels under your skirt at one point.Â
"It's normal y/n, don't make a fool of yourself" you chant in your head, trying to enjoy the feeling of being wanted.Â
âWe never really talk.... There's so much we still don't know about each other" your voice is meek, feeling hesitant to say your thoughts out loud in case you end up upsetting jay; which you seem to be doing a lot, to be honest.Â
The said boy groans from the seat in front of you where he's busy on his phone, completely facing away from you.Â
"We know plenty" He quips, not even sparing you a glance, and you bite your lower lip to stop yourself from thinking too much about it. Maybe he just isn't in the mood today? But again, when is he ever in a mood?Â
All you do is make out, and when things get heated, you always pull away. Then he gets agitated, and doesn't talk to you for days. It fucks with your head, but you go along, and even though you don't feel comfortable, you start letting him touch you more, and even though your body is taut with tension, he never seems to care.Â
You want to tell him about your brother, want to share the little things you do together and the things that make you happy. You want to ask what his favorite color is.
However, the opportunity never seems to come.Â
Your mind drifts off to heeseung, and the little notes he used to throw at the back of your head during last semester.Â
"Do you like roses or lilies?"
"Do you sleep on your stomach or side? "
"Are you going to the town fair?"
You remember ignoring him back then, but now your heart constricts. Even if he was just trying to bother you, those questions were probably the only time someone had tried to get to know you. You don't know what it is about heeseung, but everybody just looks at you, he's the only one who has ever made you feel seen. Maybe in another universe you would push aside your shyness and answer those notes. Maybe in another universe you would throw some notes back at him, asking things that you wanna know.Â
"I like tulips... But lilies are good too"
"I sleep on my back, sleeping in any other position makes me sore, I don't know why tho"
"I'm not going to the town fair, I have to stay home with my brother, he's really small"
But it's too late now, and you swallow down your words, squash the need to talk to someone, and resort to the heavy silence that is your life.Â
Heeseung is about to fly off the handle. The sight of you in another man's arms shouldn't bother him this much and yet, it does. The fact that you're ignoring his calls and messages makes him feel slightly insane. It shouldn't be like this. You are just a bet. A pick. Just another name on the list.Â
Then why the fuck is he this close to smashing jay's annoying face in. It isn't even about your virginity anymore, and that's what bothers him the most.Â
He hates it, hates that he's so affected by you, but he should have seen it coming,to be honest. With the way he stays up late just to jerk off to your pretty face, no girl has ever drove him this close to insanity before. The lust he feels for you is blinding and all consuming. It burns him, the desire he feels for you scorches him from the inside. It unsettles him how badly youâve managed to turn him into a slave to your big, doe eyes.
Therefore, when he catches you alone in the classroom after three whole weeks of you ignoring his presence, he just can't help himself. Itâs unfair how fucking pretty you look standing near the white board, scribbling something down onto your notebook while trying to setup the projector for your presentation later.
The sound of the classroom door being shut makes you jump, but the reason makes cold dread run inside your chest. Heeseung looks like a predator as he advances on your figure, eyes dark in lust and the vein in his neck throbbing with anger. His hands itch with the desire to touch you, it's been way too long for his liking since he last felt you close.Â
Before you can say anything or do anything, he's on you. The feeling of his lips against yours is electrifying,it feels like your entire body comes alive at the contact. His kiss is surprisingly slow and more bruising than you've ever been kissed before. His hands wrap around your waist and he pulls you closer to himself, tilting his head to trace your lower lip with his tongue, waiting for you to let him in.Â
You should push him away but you don't. You can't. Your head is dizzy with a passion you've only ever felt with him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you push yourself closer to his firm body, opening your mouth and letting him tangle his tongue with yours. The moan that leaves your mouth at the feeling makes his slacks tighten, his dick hard and throbbing inside his trousers.Â
You taste so fucking addicting, Heeseung doesn't wanna stop kissing and tasting your warm mouth.Â
When he pulls away to breathe, you're both panting heavily, his forehead resting against yours, dark eyes staring into your soul.Â
"I don't like when someone ignores me y/n" He growls, his voice sharp and hoarse from desire. The feeling of his hard on digging into your stomach makes you squirm.Â
"I - I have a boyfriend, I shouldn't be talking to you" You manage to let out, biting back another moan when he grinds a bit into you.Â
Heeseung feels hot rage flash across his chest at your words.Â
"Oh yeah? He got his dick inside you yet?" He asks, his words making you blanch. How was he always so vulgar?
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"That's, that's none of your business" You splutter, looking anywhere but his eyes.Â
His hold tightens around your waist and he continues to grind his hard on against your soft flesh.
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"I'll take that as a no, fuck, still a virgin aren't you baby?" he guesses.
You avoid looking at him and it only spurs him on further, his hold tightens around your body the more that you try to maintain some space.
"What a loser, if I was him, I would have buried myself into that tight little cunt of yours on the first night of our date" He whispers, and for some reason, his words excite you instead of disgusting you. A sick tingle runs down your spine and throbs between your legs.
"H-he's not like you" You quip, looking up into his eyes to get your point across "he doesn't want me for my body, he loves me for me"
Your words seem to make him angry, if the slight clench of his jaw is anything to go by.Â
He stops moving against you and scoffs.Â
"Loves you? What do you know about being loved y/n? "Â
His tone is mocking, and eyes full of unfiltered rage, the words spoken with an intention to hurt. And hurt, they do. You wonder how he knows the exact place to strike to make pain ricochet so wildly inside your ribs.Â
What do you know about being loved? Nothing, you suppose. How do you recognize love if you have never seen it before? or do you just accept everything that comes to you as love because you don't have any option to? do you just cling onto every act of kindness because of how much you want it to be love?Â
What do you know about being loved indeed.Â
Seeing your face fall makes heeseung regret his words almost instantly, the sight of your big eyes blinking up at him so solemnly makes his heart twist uncomfortably. What the fuck?Â
Before he can apologize, however, your small hands slide down to push against his chest, and he lets you go. He doesn't stop you when you collect your assignment that you'd been working on when he barged in, your gaze downcast and shoulders slumped as if heavy from the weight of his words.Â
The urge to pull you into his arms hits him as he watches you leave, but he's too much of a coward for that.
Because no matter how much he wants himself to believe it,Â
You aren't just a name on the list, you never have been.
The atmosphere feels different today. You took a day off from college just to spend time with Jay, and although it makes you feel guilty that you left jihoon with suzy for the entire day, you can't help but be selfish for once.Â
All of this feels like a fever dream and you want to enjoy it before your alarm rings and youâre thrust back into the harsh reality once again.
Jay took you back to the aquarium, then you both went to the beach that his dad owned, and you were having so much fun that you just couldn't say no when he asked you to stay the night at his place. "No funny business" He assured.Â
But that didn't last long.Â
You whined into his mouth as his rough palms travelled beneath your silky sundress, sundress that he bought for you. "The yellow really suits your skin, wanna kiss you stupid" He had said, leaving you a flustered mess.Â
"I'm gonna take this off baby" Jay whispers into your mouth, sitting back up and sliding your dress up your legs without waiting for your answer.Â
You squirm in anxiety and embarrassment when he exposes your panties to his curious eyes. You want to cover yourself, you want to hide, but his firm hold on your waist keeps you down and under his mercy.Â
He slides your dress further up your stomach and then it happens. Your worst nightmare comes true. His eye brows furrow and you watch in dread as his entire face shuts down.Â
"Let's turn the lights off" He says, and you don't know what's worse, the way he eyes your body in distaste , or the way he pulls your dress down to cover you up.Â
"Why? " You manage to ask, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. You know why, you just want to hear it. You want to hear him say it so that your illusion can shatter once and for all.Â
Jay looks away and sighs, his jaw ticking in frustration "because that's how I like to have sex" He replies, his tone smooth, but you are anything but stupid.Â
You sit up and bite on your wobbly lower lip, smoothing down your dress on your thighs with shaky hands.
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"You donât like what you saw" You whisper, barely audible, but he hears you alright. His nostrils flare as he finally turns to face you, looking angry and terrifying.Â
"Do you have to be so damn difficult all the fucking time you stupid bitch? I'm trying not to be mean but you wanna hear how much your body's turning me off to your face? " He grits, hands coming down to grab your thighs and spreading your legs open. A sob escapes your lips at his words and you hit his chest to push him away
"I w-want to go home" You cry, sobbing more when he grunts in anger and slaps your face, pinning you down by your throat while he pushes you down onto your back, and straddles your thighs.Â
"Wasted so much of my fucking time on you, and now you want to go home? Right when I'm this close to being the first one who's gonna scratch your name off the list? "
Your heart stops at the implication of his words, pure disgust and terror runs through your veins.Your eyes fill up with more tears and you start using your full body strength, squirming and flailing, somehow managing to hit him in the shins with your knee. He howls in pain and rolls off of you , cussing you out.
"Fucking bitch" He growls, but you don't stay or look back, grabbing your phone and running as fast as you can. You hear his footsteps chasing you, but the adrenaline pushes you forward even though your vision is blurry with how much you're crying.
How you managed to open his house's main gate is beyond you, but once you are out in the open, the night air hitting your wet cheeks, that's when you come to a halt. You don't know how far or how long you ran, you don't see any people around, just luxurious houses standing tall, and it makes you sob more. You don't see Jay chasing you down the road so that calms your heart a little, but soon, the gravity of your situation sinks in. You almost got raped.Â
The thought makes your knees wobble and you unceremoniously collapse onto the sidewalk, your back resting against a cold metal pole. Your hands shake and sobs wrack your entire body, feeling intense pain coursing through your bones.Â
You were jay's pick too. How could you have been so blind to the signs? Him approaching you out of the blue, just a few weeks after the list got released . if you weren't blinded by your stupid feelings, you would have seen it as clear as day. He wanted your virginity. Just like Heeseung.Â
He didn't like you as you had deluded yourself into thinking.
The disgust on his face when he saw the stretch marks littering the lining of your stomach, it was so palpable it made you flinch.
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Was he going to fuck you just for the sake of winning the game? Is your virginity really all that? But who are you kidding, all this time, you have held onto your virginity so desperately because you know that it's the only thing that makes you desirable, doesn't it? It's the only reason Heeseung wants you, it's the only reason Jay pursued you, what even are you without your virginity? Once you lose it, you'll fade into the background again.Â
No more delusions. Just plain, cruel reality.Â
The hurt you feel is something that you brought upon yourself. Did you not know yourself? How could you ever, even for a second, expect someone to love this version of you? When even you can't look at your body without disgust, why did you expect Jay to?Â
As your sobs quite down and turn into small sniffles, you dial Heeseung's number and let your phone ring. This is it, you think to yourself, heart oddly calm when he picks up on the second ring.Â
"Hey sweetheart, this is the first time you have called me on y-
"Do you still want to fuck me? " You ask, your voice hoarse and monotonous.Â
You hear a sudden clatter of something falling down on the other end of the line, like he dropped something, taken off guard by the suddenness of your question.Â
"I-yeah-i mean what? are you okay baby? " He splutters, and your head throbs, you look around yourself and don't even recognize where you are.
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"can you pick me up? I know it's late, but i think I'm lost, you can fuck me as payment, I'm still a virgin" You explain. And somehow, hearing you talk about yourself like a commodity rubs Heeseung the wrong way. What's going on with you? You don't even sound like the y/n he knows.
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"Where are you baby? " He asks, and if you didn't know any better, you would say that he sounds concerned.Â
"I don't know.. there's a beach nearby.... and the area looks expensive, but i can't tell what street-
"send me your location from the maps baby, I'll be right there, just stay where you are " He warns before hanging up.Â
You want to smack your head against concrete, so much for being an academic weapon, why didn't you think about sharing your location before.Â
You rub your bare arms to keep yourself warm. Apparently, the dress isn't as warm against the night cold as it seemed to be inside the warmth of the house.Â
Somehow, this decision feels right. Heeseung has been the only person who has been honest about his intentions with you from the very beginning. Although it was the exact same thing that Jay wanted, but still, it feels right to let Heeseung take your virginity instead of anybody else. You want this miserable fallacy of want and desire to end. And for that, you are going to give away the only thing that makes you special. Sounds like a perfect plan to you.Â
After what seems like an eternity, a blue Toyota stops right in front of you.Â
You don't even glance at it twice, just staring blankly at your feet, until you hear the driver's door open, and shoes come into your line of vision. You don't even have a chance to look up before heeseung's gathering you into his arms
"Holy fuck you're freezing baby" He exclaims, picking up your numb body as you cling onto him for life, you can barely feel your legs. Heeseung lays you down in the back seat, and instantly turns the heater on. A cold shiver runs up your spine at the sudden temperature change, your eyes falling shut on their own, and everything around you fades into darkness. You want to sleep a very long sleep.Â
Heeseung looks at your body in his back seat, anxiety coiling in his stomach at the sight of you being curled up into a fetus position. Even as he drives, he can't concentrate on anything else, because he's pretty sure he saw a red mark on your left cheek, like someone hit you. Hard.Â
He's hoping he's wrong, because the rage building up in his chest is inexplicable.
There's dry mascara tracks running down your cheeks so he figures that you must have been crying, and he can't help the sick jolt he feels in his cock at the thought.Â
The yellow dress you're wearing is riding all the way upto your thighs, and Heeseung can feel his throat getting parched. So much skin. He's never seen you this exposed before. He wants to touch you, wants to run his palm over your smooth skin and kiss you till you're moaning into his mouth , and he wants to take you up on that offer you made on the phone, he wants to see for himself how pretty you look while crying.Â
He curses himself for having such thoughts when you're clearly not okay, but Heeseung's no saint. Heâs never claimed to be one either.Â
He knows that if you asked him to take your virginity to his face, he will ravage you on the spot, it won't matter that you seem to be in pain. He'll make you forget everything and fill you with pure pleasure the entire night.Â
He's not a man of morals, and he's never pretended to be one.Â
You wake up with a start, breathing heavily while your eyes adjust to the view around you. The unfamiliar soft sheets, the tasteful and expensive decor of the room, it all intimidated you somehow. You called heeseung, that's all that you remember, everything after that is a blur. Is this jay's room? Did he find you again?Â
Your heart's beating really fast, threatening to give up on you as you look down and see yourself in a white linen shirt instead of the dress that you were wearing instead. What the fuck happened.Â
You instinctively reach between your legs and it doesn't hurt, your panties are dry and intact. So, this isn't jay's house or clothes. The familiar cologne fills up your senses once you take a whiff of the shirt you're wearing, and it all makes sense. Heeseung.Â
This is heeseung's house, and his room probably, definitely his shirt. Did he change you out of your dress? Was he as disgusted as jay when he saw the mess that you were underneath your clothes?
You look around yourself and sigh in relief at finding your phone on the bedside table, exhaling the breath that you didn't know you have been holding.Â
Before you can reach for it tho, the door to the room opens. You pull the sheets closer to your chest when Heeseung peeks in. He seems a little taken aback at seeing you awake and sitting up , looking like he caught you in the middle of doing something.Â
"Thank god you're up baby, thought youâd die on me" He grins, coming inside and closing the door behind him. Suddenly, the room feels small for just the two of you, your fingers wringing nervously when he takes a seat next to you, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks.Â
You bite back a pained whimper at the pressure against your left cheek, Jay must have hit you really hard, the skin still sensitive and stinging at the slightest of touch. Heeseung seems to notice your discomfort and removes that hand instantly, choosing to caress the other side of your face instead.Â
"I need to know that you're okay sweetheart" He says, urging you to speak. But you don't know what you're supposed to say, you aren't okay, obviously, but this is better than everything else so you suppose you are. You choose to nod instead.Â
He hums and slides more closer to you, forcing you to look into his eyes, his face so close that if you leaned forward just a bit, your lips would collide.Â
"Do you want to tell me what happened? Who did this to you?" He asks, and you are taken aback by the softness in his touch and words. But you'd be a fool if you fall for that again.Â
Hence, you take hold of his free hand instead, watching how his eyes immediately fall to your tight grip, watching in rapt attention as you guide his hand under your shirt, and between your legs. Heeseung's eyes instantly darken when his hand comes into contact with your panty clad pussy, a few choice words leaving his mouth when you gasp at his touch.Â
Fuck. He likes this bold version of you.Â
His eyes meet yours, and hot arousal pools in his lower stomach at the way you're looking at him, eyes blown out in lust and desperation.
"It doesn't matter" You whisper, inching closer to his face, and planting a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth "just want you to fuck me and show me how good sex can feel"Â
A deep grunt leaves his chest at your words, and the next thing you know, his hungry mouth is latched on yours, the force of his actions making you hit your back against the bed sheets while he mounts your body, his palm still cupping the centre of your legs. He kisses you like he's been deprived of you for so long. All thoughts of your well being leave his mind, focus locked onto the sinful words you just whispered into his ear. His tongue dives into your mouth and you give him free access, both of you exchanging spit messily. You mewl into his kiss, your body squirming pathetically when he starts rubbing your clit from above your panties, applying just the right amount of pleasure to leave you gasping.Â
You're just about to thread your fingers in his silky strands when the familiar ringtone of your phone makes you jolt. He ignores the sound like he can't even hear it, tongue too busy sucking yours, the movement of his thumb getting faster and harder.Â
You can't ignore the sound tho, there aren't many people who call you. So, when your phone rings for the second time, you know it's important. You push against his chest, and he pulls away, panting heavily while he stares at you, brows furrowed in confusion.Â
You swallow the spit pooling in your mouth as you watch him gathering your saliva coating his lips and sucking it into his own. How does he make everything seem so hot and nasty?
"Sorry, i- i have to take that" you whisper, motioning towards your blaring phone. Heeseung grabs it from the nightstand and hands it over to you instantly "make it fast baby" He grunts, retreating his hand from between your legs and settling on groping the soft flesh of your thighs instead.Â
You nod, and curse when you see Suzy's name. Fuck. Fuck. You never thought about informing her of your whereabouts. She must have been waiting for you. Jihoon must be waiting for you. With an apology on the top of your tongue, you swipe right.
"Hey suzy, I'm sorr-
"Y/n, your dad is back and you need to come back right now" Her terrified voice cuts you off. Panic takes hold of your spine, and you instinctively get out of the bed, standing up to calm down your heart. You can feel heeseung's inquisitive gaze on you, but you can't be bothered with keeping up appearances right now.Â
"What do u mean? Why do u sound scared?" You ask her, tears gathering at your waterline, because as much as you want to stay calm, the terror grips hold of your heart. Itâs never good when your dad is back.
There's some shuffling on the other side, and your heart drops when you recognize jihoon's sobs, and Suzy's coos trying to shush him down.Â
"What's going on?!" you can't help but raise your voice, even though it quivers.Â
"Listen y/n, I think he came back a few hours ago, but when he didn't find you at home he came banging on my door, asking me where you were. And he was drunk out of his mind, but he heard jihoon's voice and now he is not leaving. He keeps banging on the windows, and asking for his son, I don't know what to do. I kept calling you, and you didn't pick up. I'm going to call the police, but jihoon is not my child y/n, you have to come back right now" More shuffling, and a loud thudding sound cuts the call off, making your heart beat out of your chest.Â
"Suzy??, suzy?!" No response. You look around in panic, meeting Heeseung's worried eyes.Â
"Pants, can you lend me some pants please" you ask him, tears dripping down your face. You're panicking so hard right now, your fingers feel numb. Heeseung scrambles to his feet immediately, and noticing your shaking hands, he helps you inside them himself, folding them so they donât restrict your movement.Â
"Thank you, can you- you fret- can you please, please drop me to my house. I know I promised I'd let you fuck me but I really need-
His soft lips interrupt your rant while he kisses you tenderly and cups your face, wiping your tears with the pads of his thumbs "address, baby"Â
You keep dialing Suzy's number the entire ride home but she doesn't pick up. If Heeseung hears you quietly sobbing, he doesn't mention it. You guide him to your house, and are thankful for the distraction his fingers provide as he draws random patterns on your thigh with his free hand.
You don't believe in God, you never have, but somehow , in this moment, you pray to whatever power is out there, if there is any, to keep your brother safe. You don't care about anything else. Just keep your little love safe.
Heeseung doesn't make small talk, doesn't ask questions, and you find that so comforting, it makes you wanna sob your heart out in his car.Â
The way he doesnât look even slightly disgruntled by the state of your house or your neighborhood makes you want to tell him all about that you've been going through while he says nothing at all. It's been so long since someone listened to you, you know, just for the sake of listening, to take some burden off of your heavy heart.Â
You don't question it when heeseung gets out of his car with you, letting him follow you to Suzy's house. You don't even trust heeseung like that, but knowing that he's right behind gives you a silent strength.
Your dad's slumped on the front porch, one baseball bat clutched in one hand, and rubbing his face with the other. To say that he disgusts you, would be an understatement. How could you have ever loved this man? You haven't seen your father in so long, he got lost behind the violent person with red raging eyes a very long time ago. This man in front of you isn't your dad.Â
His bleary eyes fall on you, and he instantly stumbles onto his feet, pointing the bat at you.Â
"Where have you been you little whore" He hisses, his red eyes looking at you in pure hatred.Â
"What do you want dad?" You ask, fighting away any shakiness that manages to creeps into your words. Your heart is beating fast, you need to make sure that jihoon is safe, but the lack of noise from inside the house scares you.Â
"Where's my money?" He demands gruffly, taking a few steps towards you. You don't stumble back like you usually do, trying to hold your ground.Â
"There's no money dad, there's nothing for you here" You quip. Your words seem to anger him more, his nostrils flare, and he points the bat at the house "bring that little bitch out, I know you're hiding him inside, if you won't make me money, he will" He spits, and you can't believe your ears, hot tears dribble down your cheeks, blurring your vision of him.
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"What the fuck is wrong with you?? Have you got no amount of shame left in you? "
A yelp resounds from your throat when your father grabs hold of your wrist all of a sudden, pulling you close, boring his threatening eyes into yours. You wince at the smell of alcohol on his breath.Â
"The fuck did you just say to me you little slut- he twists your arm, making you cry out in pain, you try pulling yourself away but he only tightens his hold on your arm- do u want me to break your ribs like I did with your whore moth- it all happens so fast, the grip on your arm loosens, a scream rips through the air, your dad falls to the ground. And then there's silence.Â
You stare in disbelief at the boy straddling over your dad's unconscious body, wiping his bloody knuckles on his jeans. He punches your dad's face twice more, then kicks him to roll him over while he stands back up.Â
At that point he turns to you, and you start sobbing. Heeseung is about to open his mouth to apologize for punching your dad unconscious, panicking that he did something wrong when you're pulling him into you, smashing your lips against his, kissing him with all that you've got.Â
Heeseung is taken aback, his eyes widening when your taste invades his mouth, but he recovers almost instantly and pulls you close to his body, kissing you back just as hard. The kiss is wet and salty because of how much you're crying, but he couldn't care less.
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You're both breathing heavily when you pull apart, eyes widening when you hear Suzy's door click open. Jihoon!Â
You leave Heeseung standing on the porch, running to suzy when she comes outside "jihoon?" you question, your voice out of breath.Â
She glances at Heeseung, and then at your dad, before looking back at you.
"He fell asleep while crying, I think he got one of his seizures y/n, all the shouting really scared him" she explains, and you cup your mouth, more tears prick your eyes, feeling your heart break all over again.Â
It's been years since your brother got his last seizure attack because of trauma triggers. You have managed to keep him away from all his triggers, except this time. All because you were selfish, and wanted to stay the night away. Your life has to be one long, never ending sick joke.Â
"where's he?" you ask, your voice feeble, you're afraid you'll start screaming if you aren't careful.Â
"In the spare bedroom, go, I'll take care of him" She says, motioning towards your dad.Â
The time span between carrying your brother home to tuck his sleeping figure inside his buzz Light year sheets, while suzy takes care of informing the police and calling the ambulance for your unconscious, and injured dad is a blur for you.Â
Heeseung doesn't get in trouble because you vouch for the attack being in self defense, your dad's history of abuse and drinking helps your case.Â
After all cars are gone, and you finally breathe a sigh of relief, you realize that Heeseung is still here. Your heart feels full when you look at his unruly appearance, and you don't want to admit the yearning you feel for him right at this moment. He's the first person besides suzy to witness the shit show that is your life, and you wonder why isn't gone yet.Â
And then you remember. Right, your virginity. How can you forget.Â
You find him leaning against your kitchen counter, hands in pocket as he waits for you. He looks so out of place standing in your small kitchen, the light bulb swinging above his head makes his skin glow, and you can't help but be attracted towards him like a moth drawn to the flame. His eyes find yours as soon as you round the corner to your kitchen, and they stay. This look is different.
He's looking at you like he's seeing you for the first time.Â
You take tentative steps towards his figure, fiddling with the long sleeves of his shirt that you're wearing. You don't even get to open your mouth before he's pulling you closer to him, his one hand wrapping around your waist while he cups your cheek with the other, swallowing the gasp that escapes your lips at the sudden touch.Â
He kisses you like you're the air that he breathes, his tongue dipping and tasting all crevices of your warm mouth. You fist the shirt on his chest, and tilt your head to deepen the kiss, whining into his famished mouth.Â
The kiss is everything you've ever wanted. It's not rushed, but it's needy. The passion dripping from his lips renders you boneless, and you lean further into him. The exhaustion seeping inside your bones seems to get heavy with each languid stroke of his tongue, and you don't realize when the tears start falling down your cheeks. He doesn't pull back tho, just trails his kisses upto your face, swallowing your tears as he pulls you flush to his body, dissipating any ounce of space that was left between you two.Â
When you pull apart, your mouths are connected by a string of saliva, hot pants escaping your chests. He rests his forehead against yours, and caresses your face by the back of his hand, cooing when you bite your lower lip to stop the tears from falling again.Â
You're exhausted. You're dead tired and his touch seems to be your undoing, setting all your emotions free, the severity of all the events that happened in the last twelve hours hitting you all at once.Â
"Let me fuck your pain away, baby" He whispers, and in that moment, you can't seem to resist falling into the familiar comfort of delusion. You know that once you let him fuck you, he'll lose interest, but you need it now. You want to bask in his affection and call it love. You want to experience feeling loved and wanted before it's inevitably snatched away from you.Â
"fuck me" you whisper back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders when he groans and leans into your mouth again. Heeseung feels like a fucking jerk, but seeing you so helpless, and in dire need of his touch makes him delirious.
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This is a new feeling. This desire to be needed by you.
He would not admit it to you, but he relishes in the fact that you're alone, and in so much pain. It makes it easier for him to show you how much you need him. He wants you to keep him, crave him like he does you.Â
You gasp into his mouth when he hoists you up into his arms, your tiny figure melting into his touch. He loves it, loves how easy you are.Â
He might be taking advantage of your pain and vulnerability, but he only wants you to want him just as badly as every bone in his body wants you.Â
Your back hits the couch, and you stare up at him with wide eyes as he hovers over you, a lustful glint in them that drives him nuts. Your hands bunch up the shirt on his chest, and you pull him back into you again, not getting enough of his lips on yours.Â
You love how dizzy his touches are making you, your body arching into him when he gropes your curves, his hands all over you.
"Wanna see you naked" He whispers, and your heart plummets into your stomach. A sinking feeling beginning to form a pit inside your chest. No, it can't be happening again.Â
He must see the hesitance on your face, because he's caressing your cheek again, so softly and so gently, you almost mistake it for genuine care, but you know better.Â
"What is it?" He asks, planting few pecks on your pouty and swollen lips.Â
You twiddle with the button of his shirt, and avoid eye contact.Â
"C-can we turn the lights off? looking at me might turn you off" you manage to mumble, the words burning your throat on their way out .However, you're done lying to yourself.Â
Heeseung doesn't say anything, and you peek up to see his face. He is looking at you like you've grown two heads. It makes you feel self conscious, your ears burning in humiliation, feeling like you ruined the mood already.Â
"You're beautiful" He blurts, eyes still fixed on you in disbelief, he can't fathom you thinking such a thing about yourself. Him? Getting turned off by you? He has not heard a more ridiculous thing in his life before.
Your eyes snap up to him at his words and you furrow your brows in irritation.
"You don't have to lie to get inside my pants I al-"
"I've jerked off to your face" He cuts you off. Your mouth splutters like a fish as you blink up at him, trying to process his words.Â
He's still staring at you, eyes dark and deep.
"Jerked off just to your face. Not even your body. you're so beautiful I get hard by the mere thought of you"Â
You don't know whether to laugh or cry. Only Heeseung can say such things and make them feel like a compliment. You can't help the giggle that escapes your lips, and you hide your face into your hands.
"God, you're unbelievable" you groan between your giggles, unknown to the fact that heeseung's currently losing his damn mind on top of you. In that moment he realises, that he's never made you laugh before. You have never looked up at him and giggled before. The sound shoots straight to his hardening cock and spreads a warm feeling inside of his chest. He can't believe how overwhelming this sudden emotion is, and he isnât sure where this sudden influx of affection for you is coming from. However, thereâs one thing heeseungâs sure about, and itâs the fact that he loves this sight more than he loves to see you crying. And that's saying a lot.Â
He swallows thickly when you remove your hands from in front of your face, and smile up at him, chewing on your lower lip as the blush on your cheeks darkens
"This might be most romantic thing someone has ever said to me" you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck again.Â
Heeseung leans down to press soft kisses to your jaw, preventing you from seeing the softness in his eyes. He trails his kisses down towards your neck, loving the way your breath hitches.Â
"Do you wanna hear the other romantic things I have to say about you?" He asks, mouthing at your collarbone, and you whine when he digs his teeth into your soft skin.Â
"Y-yeah" you mewl, your body squirming as he squeezes your ass in one hand while he supports himself over you with the other.Â
His hand travels inside your (his) shirt, touching your skin, caressing it. You bite on your lower lip, eyes fluttering when he reaches your bra covered breasts. Your nipples are already hard and pebbled, and you moan loudly when he pinches them.Â
"fuck" He groans, your erotic sounds making him leak inside his jeans.Â
He mouths hotly at the hollow of your neck, and squeezes your boobs harshly, making you cry out again. Fuck, he loves playing with your body like this.Â
You tangle your fingers inside his hairs, your toes curling at the attention he's giving to your chest.Â
Heeseung sits up to unbutton your shirt, manhandling your body to take it off of you in a lust driven frenzy. As soon as itâs off of your body, he instantly goes back to squeezing your soft flesh again, watching with dark eyes how your soft skin turns red in his hold.
"Ah-heeseung" you whimper, feeling exposed at how he greedily drinks in your uncovered skin.Â
He unbuttons your (his) jeans, and slides them off of your legs in one go, discarding them on the floor. He bites his lower lip, his eyes running across your uncovered body, and he can feel how hard and heavy he is inside his jeans. He fights the urge to squeeze his junk when you bite on your finger, doe eyes staring up at him, your body squirming as he gropes you.Â
You're so naively sexy, your innocence drives him batshit insane.Â
"I almost jerked off to you while changing your clothes you know? you just looked too fucking sexy to resist" He grunts, his fingers running over your stretch marks. Before you have a chance to feel self conscious about the fact that he's seen your body before, or feel apprehensive about his touch on your stretch marks, he leans down to kiss them. You gasp when he runs his hot tongue over them, kissing and licking like he can't help it. He traces your panty line with the tip of his tongue, hands groping your thighs mercilessly.
He's so close to your pussy, and your face burns.
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"H-heeseung" You squeak out, and the boy instantly climbs up your body to come face to face with you, pecking you softly as he hums.Â
"I-i haven't shaved" you tell him shyly, your ears heating up in embarrassment. But you need to tell him now before he recoils in disgust later.Â
What you don't expect is the way he chuckles, leaning down to nibble on your cheek while his hand cups your breast again, squeezing and groping.Â
"you worry about the things that don't even cross my mind baby- he pecks your nose and stares into your eyes- you think I'll care about some hairs when your warm pussy is right there? that I'll be able to think about anything other than sucking and fucking when my dick's about to fall off?"
Your face is so hot you can feel the heat radiating off of you. Though his words are vulgar, and so obscene, they do placate your worries for a bit.Â
Keyword : a bit.
You're still apprehensive about him being down there. What if you smell bad? and taste even worse?Â
You gasp when he roughly pulls your boobs out of your bra cups, and takes one in his wet mouth. You tug on his hairs, and moan when he bites your nipple too harshly, the sensation making you arch your back into his mouth.Â
You don't notice when his hand travels between your legs, but a deep whine falls from your lips when he runs a finger over your panty clad slit.Â
"you're fucking dripping baby" He groans into your flesh that he still has in his mouth, sucking and biting both of your boobs till they sting.Â
You try to close your thighs around his hand but he tsks in faux disappointment, and parts them again, trailing his kisses down towards your centre, leaving no portion of your skin unmarked.Â
He kisses your pussy from above your panties, slurpimg your wetness through the sheer material, burying his nose into your slit.
"fuck baby, taste so good" he groans, rubbing his nose in your wetness, tracing the outline of your pussy with his mouth. You bite your finger, and squirm in his touch, feeling yourself dripping more.Â
He trails his kisses down to your inner thighs, making you squeal when he digs his teeth into your sensitive flesh. He chuckles into your skin, and does the same to your other thigh. He seems to be enjoying this more than you are. He leaves more bites marks up your leg before burying his face between your legs again, making your thighs close around his head.Â
The action makes something in him snap, and heeseung sits up on his hunches, stares straight into your eyes while he licks his lips for your juices, and starts sliding your panties down your smooth legs.
âwant you in my mouth before we fuckâ
Your breath hitches when his heavy lidded eyes snap down to your nakedness, and he closes his eyes to groan.Â
"shit" He curses, parts your legs open, and dives straight between your legs, not even bothering to take off your panties all the way off as it hangs on your ankle obscenely. He sucks your sensitive clit into his mouth,and you moan so loudly it has you slapping your palm over your own. The overwhelming sensation makes your eyes roll back, only ever feeling your own fingers down there, it's a heady feeling to feel someone else.
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You tangle your fingers in his hairs, tugging harshly when he slurps your wetness, parting your pussy open with his fingers,and thrusting his tongue inside your virgin hole,running it all over your vulva like a starved man.
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You thrash in his hold, a shiver running down your spine when his nose bumps your clit, and he starts applying pressure, rubbing it back and forth. The obscene squelch that you can hear from between your legs has your face burning, you can't believe how wet you are. You aren't ready for the sudden feeling of his finger sliding inside your pussy, and you scream. Heeseung looks up at you from between your legs, and increases his movement, eyes dark as they watch you lose yourself to pleasure.Â
"How does that feel? " He asks, voice so deep it makes your pussy throb.Â
You moan, and nod your head rapidly "s-so good" you whimper when he dives down to suck on your clit again. The combined feeling of his fingers and mouth pushes you closer to your orgasm.Â
"Yeah baby? Your pussy's so tight, can't wait to get in there, wanna feel good too" He groans, thrusting a second finger inside your warm cavity, and probing inside your gummy walls in come hither motion that makes you mewl.Â
"So wet" He mumbles, licking into your pussy again. And God do you taste addicting, heeseung can spend the whole day buried in between your legs if you would give him a chance. The way your walls flutter around his fingers has him leaking copious amount of precum in his jeans, and he has never been so turned on before.Â
"pleasee" You moan, and he's crawling up to you again, his lips capturing yours and you can taste yourself on his tongue. He fucks you with his fingers rapidly, lust filled eyes watching in rapt attention at how your eyes flutter shut, and your body arches into him, so ready to getting lost in pleasure.Â
He curses under his breath as he watches how you grind your hips on his fingers, trying to chase the pleasure theyâre giving you
"yeah? Gonna cum and make a mess baby? " He asks into your mouth, swallowing your moan, and licking the drool escaping your lips.Â
You nod your head and dig your nails into his neck, holding onto him for your life. Heeseung ruts his hard on against your thigh as he watches you come undone on his fingers alone, moaning his name unintelligibly. Watching you cum is the hottest thing heâs ever seen, he decides.
"Cum on me, make yourself feel good" he sighs, the pleasure filled expression on your face has him close to cumming untouched. You gyrate your hips while his fingers get covered in your juices, drenching his palm as he helps you ride out your orgasm. You sigh out in relief, coming down from your high, your hold loosens on his neck and you squirm while you watch him sucking his fingers, tasting your juices. It's so hot, you don't even realize when you lean in. His lips meet yours and you moan upon tasting your cum, sucking on his tongue like he sucks yours.Â
"Made you feel so good yeah?" He asks, his voice hoarse in desire, and you nod, pushing yourself into him again. He wraps his arms around your body, and unhooks your bra, finally taking it off of your body, and discarding it somewhere.Â
"My turn" He grunts.Â
You rub your thighs together while he unbuckles his belt, ogling your naked body like a pervert. Your eyes widen when he pulls his boxers down unceremoniously, just enough to let his dick flop out.Â
It's bigger in person,even bigger than you remember while touching him and you whine. There's no way that can fit inside you. His eyes darken as he strokes his cock, fisting it to the sight of your naked body lying so helplessly, ready for the taking. And God does he want to take you.Â
If you weren't a virgin, he would have been pounding your hole by now, but as much as he's impatient, he wants to make this experience good for you too.
You're sucking on your finger again, your eyes fixed on how he moves his palm up and down his shaft, the real life version makes you drip more than the video he sent did.Â
Heeseung hovers over your body again, and grabs your hand, pulling out your finger from your mouth. "No hiding your sounds from me, wanna hear you loud and clear while I fuck you stupid" He growls, and you squirm under his gaze.Â
You yelp when you feel him running his dickhead against your slick pussy, wetting it in your juices for a smooth slide. You dig your nails into his shoulders, staring up at him with your big doe eyes as you utter the words which make Heeseung finally snap.
"p-please don't make it hurt" your voice is the sweetest thing he's ever heard, and God, does he want to hurt you. He wants to roughly push himself inside till there's nothing but tears of pain and pleasure running down your pretty face. He wants to make you scream, and show you how pain only heightens the pleasure.Â
You're so naive, looking up at him, trusting him, but heeseung is lost in his dark desires and pushes in without a warning. You turn him on so badly.Â
You scream at the way his length bullies itself inside your tight hole, scraping against your walls and your body feels like it's being split in half. Tears blur your vision and you push against his chest, sobbing through the pain that makes you want to run away. It's too much.Â
"h-hurts please-oh-" his hips push inside and then he's balls deep into you, groaning in satisfaction while you scream again. The feeling of your hymen tearing apart makes you sob uncontrollably, and you try to angle your hips away from him. He doesnât fit, heâs gonna tear you apart.
Heeseung holds your hips in his bruising grip, and starts moving in and out. He's too damn turned on to think about anything else other than how good your virgin pussy feels around his dick.Â
"Stay still baby, let me feel good" He grunts, pulling out of your hole to the hilt, and then pushing inside again. In and out. In and out. His hot pants fall onto your wet cheeks. Heeseung reaches down to rub on your clit, relishing in the wet warmth of your pussy. It feels more pleasurable for him when you start getting impossibly wet.
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Soon enough, Your pain filled sobs start to subside, and pleasure filled sobs start to leave your lips instead.Â
That's when he starts fucking in earnest. Once he hears you moan in pleasure, heeseung lets go of all his inhibitions, and straight up pounds into you.Â
"Fuck yeah baby, so fucking tight for me" he groans, snapping his hips against you at a rapid pace. His balls smack against your ass every time he pushes in, and the skin slapping sounds make your head throb in pleasure.
You didn't know sex could feel so good.
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"Heeseung please, oh my god" You moan when his dick rubs against your sweet spot, his hot pants fall on your mouth while he slots his lips against yours in imitation of a kiss
"Yeah? Just like that?" He asks, his own eyes rolling back when you clench around him. So deliciously tight.
The slide inside is so deep and so wet, it makes his hips pick up speed.Â
"Warm little cunt, waited so long to get inside" he groans, biting on your lower lip, and grinding his pelvis against yours.Â
The sheer ecstasy running through your veins at the way his cock makes out with your cervix, makes you thrust up your hips against him. You buck into his hold, pressing your body closer, rubbing your chest against his clothed one. It's then that you realize that he's still wearing clothes.Â
Heeseung curses under his breath when you whine and tug at his shirt.
"You wanna feel me naked baby?" he asks, running his hands over your curves as he pounds into your warm hole. It's too good to stop.Â
You nod and tug on his shirt again, trying to get closer to him.
"Fuck" Heeseung mutters, and sits back on his hunches, his hips still grind into you while he strips himself off of his clothes. He pulls himself out of you for a split second to discard his jeans and boxers on the floor, then he's thrusting into you again.Â
"This is so much fucking better" He moans, loving how your naked body arches into his own, rubbing yourself against him so desperately. The delicious friction of your grinding sexes makes you both delirious in pleasure. Heeseung digs his fingers into the fat of your waist, and buries his face inside the crook of your neck, kissing and moaning along it while his thrusts become
merciless. You dig your nails into his shoulders, and throw your head back, exposing more skin for him to dig his teeth into.Â
The obscene way your naked bodies buck and thrust against each other to reach pleasure high is a sight to behold. The skin slapping, and wet squelching sounds fill up the space between your heated bodies, and you never want this feeling to stop.Â
"tight fucking cunt, so good, wanna keep fucking till my dick aches" His filthy words travel deep inside your core, and warmth spreads inside your womb, the knot starting to form in your stomach.Â
"oh my god" You moan when he slows his hips into a slow grind, hitting all the right spots inside your swollen pussy.Â
"Yeah? fuck yourself on my dick like a slut, grind your virgin little pussy on my meat" He growls, coming up to capture your lips in his own, groaning into your mouth when you dig your nails painfully inside his flesh, enough to draw blood.Â
The sweat drips down your bodies, as you rut against each other in pure pleasure. You moan into heeseungs mouth as he languidly licks against your open cavity, sucking on your tongue, and exchanging spit.Â
The pace of his thrusts fasten, and he pounds you into the couch, fucking into you like his life depends on it. Your words are reduced to mere moans and babbles, your tongue lolling out at how good he feels.
"gonna cum inside this cunt baby, gonna let me fill you up right? flood your insides with my fuck cream?"
You nod in a lust filled haze, and heeseung licks the saliva that pools in the corner of your mouth.
" Yeah? Real deep baby? Fuck-so fucking good Jesus" He growls, his spit and sweat falling into your mouth as he starts rutting into you like an animal. He can feel himself getting closer. the knot in your stomach snaps when he presses his palm into your lower stomach to trace his outline. You gasp into his mouth, and your body convulses uncontrollably.
"Fuck yeah, god you're gonna make me cum, god im- his hips grind a few times inside your pussy, and then he's stilling inside of you, the tight clench of your pussy pushing him over the edge, shooting his thick cum inside your womb.Â
It feels so good that Heeseung keeps moving inside you till you whine and cry out in overstimulation. You're grateful when he listens, and pulls out, but the very next second, he's getting down there and burying his face between your legs again, slurping your combined juices from your pussy. Your toes curl at the feeling, and you can't help but open your mouth when he comes up to slot his cum filled one against yours. It's nasty, but you can't stop licking into him, tasting your mixed release together.Â
"Fuck, you're nasty" He chuckles, finally turning your body around, and wrapping you into his embrace.Â
For the first time in your life, you fall asleep nuzzled into a warm and comforting body against you.
 ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Heeseung has always prided himself in the fact that he doesnât get attached to people easily, doesnât feel certain emotions until he allows himself to. Heâs not a good person, heâs always known this, thatâs the reason why he has always kept himself at a distance.
Watching. Observing.
Nothing in his life is unpredictable, heeseung works according to the plan, always predicting and preparing himself for situations that can happen. Thatâs just how he operates.
Watching. Observing. Executing.
You, however, caught him off guard. Heeseung was never ready for you to barge in his life the way that you did.
You think you know him from third semester but heeseung knows you from way before that. The first time heâd seen you was on the very first day of college, waiting right outside the registrar office, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you stepped aside for people to pass.
There was something about you that stuck with Heeseung. He couldn't figure out what it was no matter how much he thought about it but you soon became a constant itch at the back of his mind.
It wasn't like you were strikingly pretty. Heeseung had been surrounded by beautiful women all his life. Almost desensitized to extravagant beauty. It all seemed vague to him.
You were not extraordinarily pretty, no.
But you were enchanting. it was the type of pretty that stuck with you, that stayed with you, the type of pretty that might not capture your attention in the first glance but the second or third glance might have you hooked; the type of pretty that was made up of hesitant smiles and solemn gazes and fidgeting hands.
Heeseung watched you from afar for a long time, observing, learning. That was until he saw an opportunity to be in the same lecture as you. Thatâs when he started executing.
And then you made him fail. At his own game.
Heeseungâs sickness identified and craved yours, rendering him powerless when he realized that maybe,you were even sicker than him, a thousand times more depraved. You just didnât know it yet.
He didnât realize when you became the very thing he breathes, carving yourself a home inside the darkest parts of his heart.
Ever since he fucked you into your sheets, his craving for you has increased tenfold. He is way past pretending that you are some stupid bet, or a mere name on the list. Seeing you vulnerable, and yet so strong , made something shift in him. He's always been sick in desire for you, but over the past few months, you have managed to infiltrate your way inside his brain.Â
"How's the mission " Cherries to pop" going for you man?" Jake's voice interrupts his thoughts, and he doesn't have to think twice about his answer, eyes fixated on your slumped figure as he replies
"Take her off the list, I won"Â
Numerous gasps are heard around him, sunghoon laughs in shock, eyes meeting Jake's in disbelief "you can't be serious, was she any good? " He asks, nervousness creeping in his voice, because heeseung does look serious.Â
Heeseung turns his eyes towards sunghoon, face void of any recognizable emotion
"the bet's over. I don't want to talk about it, but if I see any of you fuckers around her after this, it's going to get bloody " He warns, sweeping his eyes over the shocked faces of the boys around him. And with that, you are taken off the list forever.Â
You hear the whispers, you aren't deaf, but something inside you disassociated when you woke up in the evening after losing your virginity. Cold and alone.Â
Heeseung had cleaned your body and clothed it before he left, but not having him near stung more than you ever thought it would. It was to be expected tho, wasnât it? He got what he wanted, there was no reason to stay.
"can't believe heeseung really did it"
"Man, she doesn't look like she must have been a good fuck"
"A win is a win"
You don't dare look up the entire day, ignoring all the folded papers that fall beside your leg. Curiosity doesn't get the better of you, and you don't pick them up to read what's inside. It just doesn't seem to matter anymore. All this buzz will die down in a week, and you will finally resort back to the dark corners, and shadows where people will no longer look at you, just past you.Â
You don't dread the reality of your situation anymore, a small sigh leaving your lips as you gather your stuff, and walk past the inquisitive stares.Â
Settling down at the farthest seat in the cafeteria gives you a sense of relief. This seat has been your safe space through all ups and down. The only constant in the chaos of your existence.
You're busy swirling your food around the plate when a sudden quiet falls over the cafeteria. All the chitter chatter and noise dies down. It's almost eerie. Eerie enough to finally make you look up to see what's wrong. Your eyes turn towards the entrance as you follow everyone's collective gaze, and what you see makes your heart plummet in your stomach.
It's Jay. But he's wearing a cap, his head slumped down as he makes his way towards his seat with an obvious limp, but it doesn't hide the black and blue wound blossoming around his left eye, several deep cuts on his lower lip, and scratches on his cheek. The high neck he's wearing sticks out like a sore thumb in mid July, and you wonder if there's more that he's trying to hide. You don't have to worry about facing him, looks like he's not going to be looking up anytime soon.Â
Realization sets inside your throat like a lump, and you instinctively snap your gaze towards heeseung's table. His eyes are already on you when you find him. They're dark, and tender, if that's even possible. You feel like you're drowning in them. Your throat feels full, and your eyes burn the more that you look at him, and you can't help but follow your instinct to get out of here as soon as possible. It's too much. This sudden influx of emotion is too much for you.Â
Murmurs follow your leave, but you don't stay behind to hear or care. Your steps are heavy and purposeful as you stride forward, away from everyone and everything. This feels like a fever dream. Why the fuck would Heeseung do that? Scratch that, how the fuck did he even find out?
But you know exactly how he found out. The location that you shared. It isnât rocket science to figure out who lives nearby. Of course he knows. What confuses you is the fact that he cared enough to look it up and avenge you in his own sick way.Why does he even care?
You can feel a breakdown coming, and so without wasting time, you rush home in a frenzy. By the time you reach your threshold, your throat hurts, the tonsils burning in pain. Your body is begging for you to let it out, but you're a slave to your habits. Holding everything inside until it chokes your airway.Â
You're tapping your leg frantically as you stir a spoon haphazardly in your coffee cup, swallowing down copious amounts of caffeine to push back the inevitable. You hate breakdowns, hate feeling so out of control and vulnerable. It shatters your facade, makes you come face to face with the pretty lies that you tell yourself.Â
"It's going to be fine, you're fine"
But are you?Â
A loud honking in your front yard makes you drop your cup, spilling all of its contents on your shoes, jumping back as you get startled out of your mind.Â
Who the fuck?
You step over the mess and make your way to your front door, watching in disbelief as Heeseung's car idles in front of you. He's looking right at you from his window, and you wonder what is it about his eyes. There's something about his eyes and the way he looks at you. It makes you feel naked. Body and soul. It seems like he looks right through you, and you don't know if you like that.Â
Your feet move on their own and he doesnât even have to say anything. In no time, you find yourself sitting inside his car, your back against the expensive leather seats, while you play with the stray threads of your blouse.Â
"What do you want now?" you ask, deciding to break the silence. It's only fair to stop beating around the bush and get this over with. Whatever this is.
"You" He answers almost immediately, making you scoff. You don't look at him but you can feel his gaze burning into you.Â
"I'm not a virgin anymore Heeseung, you won, thereâs nothing more that I can offer you" Your voice feels scratchy against your throat, and you wonder if it's because of the tears you keep pushing back.Â
There's a heavy pause of silence, and then you hear him chuckle, almost in pity and contempt.Â
"You don't get it do you?" He asks, voice laced with disbelief.Â
When you don't look up, and don't respond, he laughs hollowly.Â
"Ask me why I did that" He says, his tone a tad bit deeper now. It's a demand. "Ask me why I smashed pretty boy's face in"Â
You swallow the lump in your throat, and close your eyes. Not now please.Â
"Why" you whisper ask, almost inaudible if it wasn't for the pin drop silence in the car.
"because it gave me a sick satisfaction to see him in pain. I'm not sorry about how your old man ended up either. If I could, I would shoot both of their skulls open for putting their hands on you"
The anger and pure hatred in his voice makes a sob to rip through your chest, eyes finally snapping up to meet his. They're dark in anger, and disdain, and you wonder why he cares so much. You look over to his wounded knuckles which are turning white due to how tightly heâs gripping onto the steering wheel. The sight of his anger mirroring your own ignites a spark of recognition deep within you. The raw intensity of emotion emanating from Heeseung stirs something inside your vacant soul. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, you feel seen. Validated. All this time, you had told yourself that you got what you deserve. You were fundamentally flawed, and all of this pain was your own fault.You never allowed yourself to be angry, burying the rage beneath your stoic facade, but seeing Heeseung angry for you makes your own walls crumble one by one.
"I want to cut open anyone who's ever hurt you baby, I want to be the only one who gets to hurt you" He declares.
You gape at him while tears run down the slope of your cheeks
"that's-that's not normal" you whisper, but his expressions don't crack, eyes wide and pupils dilated. In this moment, he looks insane, and it scares you how much you want to get lost in him.
"You don't need normal" he replies.Â
His words hit heavy and get stuck inside your throat. You look away and wipe your tears, swallowing another bout of sobs threatening to escape your chest. The walls are cracking, the sound of them breaking and destructing can be heard as you let his words sink in.Â
"Quit your part time job and let me take care of you. Your every need, I'll satisfy it. You won't even have to ask me for it and it will be done" He says, leaning forward, as if trying to make you see the reason in what he's saying.
You shake your head, eyes brimming with anger and tears as you stare right into his own.
"I don't need you to take care of me. I've always done it myself and I have managed to do it just fine, I donât need you" you seethe, feeling rage at his implication that you can't hold your own.Â
His expressions soften as he runs his eyes over your angry tears, his hand coming up to wipe them with his thumb. Itâs pathetic how this small caress makes you lean into his touch.Â
"No you don't. But I need you. I need to take care of you. I wonât be able to live with myself if I don't" He confesses.Â
More tears run down your cheeks as sobs rip through your chest, and he continues to caress your face.Â
"Is this a declaration of love?" you grouch through your physical grief, watching how his eyes gaze into yours, as if he wasn't expecting you to ask him that.Â
"Does it have to be? I promise to keep you happy and protect you from all harm, should that not be enough?"Â
You stare into his orbs and your heart skips a beat at the raw vulnerability you find there. He's just as scared as you, if not more. Turns out, you aren't the only one who is bad at confronting feelings.Â
You crawl your way onto his lap, and he instantly wraps his arms around you, like you belong there. You take his hand into your own and press tender kisses onto his knuckles, and he watches you do it. Then you look up, and smile. That smile seems to be his undoing. Heeseung instantly leans down to kiss you fervently. You tangle your fingers in his hairs, kissing back just as deeply, and he groans into the kiss. The collision of your mouths is desperate, as if trying to convey all that's left unsaid.Â
"It's enough" You mumble into his mouth, and he swallows your words greedily.Â
hi! here is the masterlist for melting point! this is an 18+ fic so minors do not interact.
warnings: on individual chapters
overall wc: 130k+
synopsis: when circumstances unexpectedly bring you and your brother's long-time ice skating rival, park sunghoon, together, you discover a surprising connection. However, your brother forbids any relationship between you. Will you heed his advice or follow your heart?
START
CH.1; here
CH.2; here
CH.3; here
CH.4; here
CH.5; here
CH.6; here
CH.7; here
CH.8; here
CH.9; here
FIN
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summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.
genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating
warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesnât rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon
word count: 21,858
playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))
author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.
to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you đ anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.
In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, heâd been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. Theyâd welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, âOh, I didnât know you were coming home this weekend.â when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this.Â
In the last three months, he hasnât so much as sent a text to his parents.Â
Or to you.Â
Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, âHi, sweetie, I love you đ,â turns into, âMissing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?â which turns into, âGetting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!âÂ
Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come.Â
Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isnât answering calls either. Whatâs going on with you two?
When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, âIâm going home.âÂ
And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasnât the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you werenât there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay.Â
The look of worry on his mumâs face stirs a pit in his stomach. âWhy are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,â she says, frowning. âIs it school? Or something with YN? Itâs not like her not to text back.â Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. âBreakups are never easy, honey. Iâm so sorry, I know how much you love her.âÂ
Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head.Â
Whether she knows it or not, sheâs handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies.Â
For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. Heâd imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches.Â
âWe didnât break up,â he says in a small voiceâfor some reason. âIâm just having a hard time.â Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.
The tightening grip of his mumâs arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs heâd been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mumâs cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes.Â
His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but itâs weird to be home without you.Â
There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend heâd made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you.Â
Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising heâs crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking.Â
Though he didnât know it at the time, youâd left Yeonjunâs place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one youâd only visit to toast to each otherâs heartbreaks. It had become a ritual â ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks â to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments.Â
Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of âboy whose crush likes someone elseâ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. Heâd had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time youâd dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than himâtaller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didnât stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out.Â
This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeongâlying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didnât really have feelings for her â he didnât even know her â but she was a girl that you didnât know, so you wouldnât be able to meddle.Â
It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldnât hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony.Â
But the night was missing its usual comforts.
It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to âHoonieâs first heartbreakâ. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years.Â
Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than heâd been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat.Â
The voices coming from Yejiâs room disrupt the memory. Heâs thankful.
âYour brotherâs going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.â His motherâs voice is her version of hushedâa loud whisper.Â
Yejiâs response is harder to make out, but he doesnât miss the way their mum says, âI mean it, missy.âÂ
A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs.Â
âMum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.âÂ
Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt sheâs wearing used to live.Â
âI hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I donât know how Iâm supposed to carry on your legacy.â Sheâs looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows.Â
Itâs impossible to know if itâs because of Yejiâs complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her âperfect, golden boyâ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears.Â
âOh, uh.. Iâm sorry?â Yeji offers. âI was kidding if that helps.âÂ
âIâm alright, itâs okay.â The tears donât stop stinging his eyes. âWhy do you want me to change everything about myself?âÂ
With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesnât understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoonâs academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoonâs shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her.Â
âBut other than that, Iâm good.â She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. âHowâs YN?â she asks. Itâs clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks sheâs helping.Â
Sunghoon cries again.Â
Back on campus, heâs trying to scrape together whatâs left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word âfriendâ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jayâs goading him.Â
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. âThereâs nothing you can do that I canât,â he says, meaning every word.Â
Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his âabout to say something ridiculousâ look. âPretty sure I could call YN right now, and sheâd answer.âÂ
Thereâs a pit in Sunghoonâs stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like heâs been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesnât hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesnât waste his energy trying to argue because Jayâs right.
Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoonâs course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class heâs taking â The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway â is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but itâs the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.
âThis class is, like, beyond easy, dude.â Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. âEveryone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?âÂ
âI only took it because YN thought itâd be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of havenât been going since we stopped talking.â Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected.Â
As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him.Â
âSunghoon, a word?â you ask.
He thinks youâre asking, but itâs hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. âMe?âÂ
âDoes anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?âÂ
âOkay,â he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him.Â
As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your faceâwhich, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.
Sunghoon isnât sure what to expect, so he says, âHey.â Heâs being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. âWhatâs gooooood?â His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and itâs beautiful and happy, and youâre laughing because of himâor at him, but heâs glad either way.Â
Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. âWere you ever going to tell me weâre spending next week at Mum and Dadâs?â you ask.Â
Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. âI knew there was something Iâve been meaning to do.âÂ
His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. âCan you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?â Youâre frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. âItâs not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying thingsâmaking plans involving me and then acting like Iâm the bad guy when I turn you down.âÂ
âI donât think youâre the bad guy at all,â Sunghoon admits. âIf anyone is in the wrong, itâs me, I guess.â
You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. âYou guess? Are you serious?â You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. âI canât have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum Iâm sick, and itâs contagious.â You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor.Â
He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you?Â
Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like heâs not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseungâs help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set.Â
When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away.Â
The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been.Â
For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he canât remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. Theyâre cutting all the same.Â
Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceilingâa diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks.Â
Heâs glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear.Â
âI just got off the phone with Dad..â You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. âIâll go home with you.âÂ
âYou will?âÂ
âYes. Goodbye.âÂ
Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You donât smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. Youâre aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoonâs heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then letâs not be friends at all.Â
A familiar weight lands on his shoulderâyour hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if heâs okay.Â
With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods.Â
In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home.Â
âHowâs Yeonjun,â he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw.Â
âNo,â you say simply, shaking your head. âYou donât get to ask me about him.âÂ
These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but donât protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.
He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but heâs not entirely sure how to say itâso he just does. âMy, uh.. my parents think weâre dating.â
You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking.Â
Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. âWhy do they think that?â Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine.Â
He stares blankly at you, processing. âBecause I told them weâre dating,â he mumbles.Â
âWhy did you.. do that?â You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. âWhat are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?âÂ
A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? âWe can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,â Sunghoon offers. âJust one night, YN, please.âÂ
The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads.Â
Youâre staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. âOr we could say that youâre a liar and end things there,â you say. âOr better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.â
Sunghoonâs gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows youâre right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and itâd be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. âAlright,â he concedes. âIâll take you back.â
An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. âNo need, Iâll walk.âÂ
The station youâre at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow heâs not even sure it has a pavement. Youâre halfway through the three-hour drive, so thereâs no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and itâs deep enough into October for the wind to sting.Â
âFrom here?â he asks, incredulous.Â
âYes, open the boot so I can get my bag.âÂ
Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper.Â
âOpen the boot.â
He repeats your name as if itâll make a difference, heâs pleading with you, beggingâthough he doesnât know for what.Â
You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. âPlease.â
Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that youâre not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you wonât back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driverâs seatâyour move.Â
You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks youâll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. âLetâs just get this over with.âÂ
For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriendâeven if only for a night. You scoff when he âremindsâ you that youâve been together for four months now and the only reason you havenât been able to come home recently is that your schedules donât match up very well anymoreâwhich couldnât be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldnât be more suited for seeing each other.Â
Finally, at Sunghoonâs childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. Heâs relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours.Â
With his parents, youâd sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dadâs side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again.Â
Now, at 3 a.m. he canât sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. Itâs you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed.Â
He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises youâre not wearing your necklace.Â
Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didnât want him, you wouldnât want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldnât see if you had it on or not.Â
It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, whoâd gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it.Â
While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how âboys come and go but Sunghoon is foreverâ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights laterâit was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought heâd done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoonâs been riding that high ever since.Â
Until tonight at least.Â
âAre you okay?â he whispers.Â
âIâll do it, Hoon.â Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. âFor as long as you need me to, Iâll pretend.â
As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You havenât called him âHoonâ in ages, and he canât tell if youâve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that youâve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, heâs not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why youâre crying.Â
âWhat happened?â
You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. âIt doesnât matter,â you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck.Â
For as long as heâs known you, youâve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet itâs only after these months apart that heâs able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much heâs missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he canât find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes itâs enough.Â
âYou can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.â
A heavy silence follows, sharp as a daggerâscraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoonâs breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close youâve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room.Â
Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that youâre okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you donât even stir when he lies down.Â
Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room.Â
For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. Itâs at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and youâre bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. Thereâs a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding.Â
âBaby!â you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. âGood morning.â Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn.Â
âItâs great to see you too, YN,â his mum says with a smile. âMy night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.âÂ
You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. âSorry, mum, how are you?âÂ
His mother doesnât seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. âgood morningâ to go unnoticed.Â
Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a âthank youâ, and his knees turn to jelly.Â
The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon canât stop you from dragging your feet.Â
As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that youâre determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most youâd do is step over his body like a fallen branch.Â
After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. Itâs been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. Itâs like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.
You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs.Â
Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. âWhat are you doing?â
Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. âHolding my girlfriendâs hand.âÂ
âNo oneâs looking, boyfriend.â
âYou think my parents arenât going to wonder why weâre lagging behind?âÂ
A scoffâyour fingers remain defiantly stiff. âDo you think your parents are going to care whether or not weâre holding hands?âÂ
âMy mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.â Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it.Â
A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. âSorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.âÂ
As your words hang in the air, Sunghoonâs emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesnât stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomachâhe knows you donât feel the same way, he knows youâre faking, but the word âpretendingâ hits him like a truck anyway.Â
âWe held hands all the time when we were friends,â he points out.
Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. âYeah, and now weâre not.âÂ
If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoonâs feelings the most, youâd be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction.Â
âExactly!â he says, feeling the sting of his own words. âBecause now weâre dating.â
At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. Itâs forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.
âYou two okay back there?â she asks.Â
âPerfect! I feel like a kid again!â you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesnât meet your eyes.Â
The two of you donât talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs.Â
âSheâs not feeling too well,â he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea.Â
His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesnât pretend not to like it.
Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. Itâs nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers youâre chopping.Â
His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neckâthe scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesnât do anything to stop the flush.Â
Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldnât stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.
After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song heâs never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses youâd used.Â
âLeave ours,â you say. âIf you want.âÂ
Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You donât speak either. Itâs reminiscent of the pastâthe hours youâd spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post youâd come across or to ask if you were hungry.Â
His eyes track your movementsâreaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine heâs already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it.Â
Sunghoon doesnât know why youâve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt.Â
âYou know you donât have to be nice to me when weâre alone, right?â The words come out before he can stop them.
Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. âWhat?â you ask finally.Â
âI only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You donât have to sit or talk with me when theyâre not around.âÂ
Sunghoonâs known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; youâre hurt.
âWhy canât I just be nice to you because itâs the right thing to do?âÂ
Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. âBecause I donât want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.â Is what he settles for.Â
Your face softens. âI donât feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I donât think you could ever make me uncomfortable.â You pause to take a gulp of wine. âWhy canât I just want to be nice to you?âÂ
Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. âIâm sorry,â he says.Â
âWhat for?âÂ
âEverything.âÂ
Thereâs a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. âItâs not your fault,â you say. âI donât know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.âÂ
Wow, he thinks. Youâre on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if youâre meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings arenât reciprocated as if he didnât live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed.Â
âBut I didnât have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.âÂ
âDid you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?âÂ
âMaybe?â Sunghoon chews on his lipâhe has no idea what he thought would happen. âI think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I donât know, just learn to love me.â
âHoon,â you whisper, frowning. âHow could you even think about settling for something like that?âÂ
Sunghoon shrugs. âItâs not settling if itâs you.âÂ
Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wallâa glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. Youâre picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak.Â
âI know itâs not my place to ask,â Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. âBut what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?âÂ
You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks youâre not going to answer himâhe doesnât blame you.Â
âI didnât.âÂ
He waits for you to elaborate. You donât.Â
Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. âHe didnât ask why we stopped hanging out?â he blurts out.
âI told him we fell out but I didnât say why.â You shrug, but your posture is stiff.Â
âWhere did you tell him you were going to be this week?â He knows itâs not his business at all, that heâs pushing your boundaries, but he canât help his curiosity.
âNowhere.âÂ
âYou told him you were staying on campus?âÂ
âI didnât tell him anything.â Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out.Â
âSo you just left?âÂ
âDoes it make a difference to you?âÂ
Sunghoon nods.
For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. âYeonjun and I arenât together anymore.â Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoonâs jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. âI didnât want to say anything because I didnât want you to think it was because of you.âÂ
Sunghoonâs thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each otherâdisbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadnât dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront.Â
âWas it?â he asks. âBecause of me?âÂ
You scoffâan incredulous sound that doesnât match the sad look on your face. âI donât know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?â
Heâs not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says after too long. âThat I wasnât there. That I havenât been there.âÂ
âYou didnât know,â you say, gaze softening as you look up at him.Â
âBut I made you feel like you couldnât talk to me about it.âÂ
You shake your head. âI made me feel like I couldnât talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, Iâm the one who ended it.â
âI still shouldâve been there.âÂ
âYouâre here now, right?âÂ
Sunghoon nods, earnestly. âAlways.âÂ
Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word âalwaysâ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when itâs done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking youâve been doing.Â
âIs it bad that Iâve missed doing this?â Youâre grinning now.
Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. âTo YNâs fifteenth heartbreak.âÂ
You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. âTo YNâs fifteenth heartbreak,â you repeat.Â
Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memoriesâdoing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents.Â
For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yejiâs clock. Sunghoonâs eyes meet yours, and he canât help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do.Â
You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. âThis is my sixteenth, actually.âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. âMy fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.â
In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But thereâs no use pretending it doesnât hurt. Pretending it doesnât hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurtâa lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, youâll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, youâll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when heâs alone in his room, like now.Â
About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing.Â
He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gaspâhis mother.Â
âWhatâs this for?â she asks.Â
âI just..â You trail off. âI know itâs not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.â You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. âItâs been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I donât think I couldâve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And Iâm trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. Iâm sorry it took me so long.âÂ
He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurtingâan ache in his fingertips that makes him wince.Â
An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoonâs family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family.Â
The memory of your parentsâ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoonâs parents could continue looking after you.Â
His chest tightens when you start crying.Â
âYou donât have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. Youâre doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,â his dad says, a little choked up. âWeâve always been proud of you.âÂ
Sunghoonâs eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He canât hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once heâs dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yejiâs room.
In her absence, the roomâs subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.
Her hairdryer is still on her desk where sheâd left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yejiâs mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan.Â
Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. âMum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,â you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror.Â
Sunghoon canât find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but donât move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer.Â
Youâre sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that youâre never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, heâs glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak.Â
âBrush your teeth and go back to sleep then,â he mumbles around his toothbrush.Â
You donât respond.Â
Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. âAnd quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and itâs freaking me out.âÂ
âBut youâre so pretty,â you coo.Â
Thereâs a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. Youâre still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you canât see the flush on his cheeks.Â
âGo back to sleep,â he says.Â
âWill you come and lie down with me if I do?â Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves.Â
Lying down doesnât sound like a terrible idea, especially not if itâs with you, so he nods. âIf you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, Iâll lie down with you.âÂ
You chuckle softly at Sunghoonâs agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didnât mean to, itâs been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like heâs glued to the spot.Â
âMove, baby,â you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. âWe can cuddle in my bed,â you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word âbabyâ on a loop in his head.Â
He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he canât go on like this, canât stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him âbabyâ and it meant something for you as it did for him. Itâs not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he canât help it. Youâre already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave?Â
The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. Youâve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows youâve only asked him because youâre tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when heâs two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.
Itâs dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. Youâre staring up at him, smiling and you donât look away when he catches you. âWhat is it?â he asks, voice thick with sleep.Â
âNothing,â you mumble. âI just missed you.â Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again. âCome on, dadâs cooking tonight, heâll need help.âÂ
Helping Sunghoonâs dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, heâs sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. Heâll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as heâs reaching the halfway point.Â
You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says itâs best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning.Â
The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoonâs lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace youâre wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing.Â
âYouâll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,â you scold, using a hand to push his knee. âWeâre almost done, I swear.âÂ
All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it.Â
âWow,â his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. âBeing in love looks good on him, heâd never have listened if I said that.âÂ
Itâs already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldnât have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while â You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. â as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.
âGod.â Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. âIâm so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.âÂ
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yejiâs words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yejiâs head, you look at him with a fond smile. âHeâs not so bad.âÂ
It doesnât sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart.Â
Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead.Â
Itâs nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a monthâs worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.
Youâre still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You donât say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.
He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. âThank you,â he mumbles into your hair.Â
Sunghoon doesnât follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You donât notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. âArenât you going to walk me up?âÂ
The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them.Â
âDo you want to come in?â you ask from your open doorway.
âIâuhâI have training in the morning and Iâm already pretty tired, so..â He trails off.
Unfazed, you nod. âRight, of course. I had fun this week.âÂ
âYeah, me too.âÂ
You smile at him, sweet and sincere. âText me when you get home, yeah?âÂ
Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesnât leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down.Â
True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but donât reply. Itâs empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.
YNđ«: iâm glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i donât want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. iâve been missing you so much and didnât know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so iâd like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik itâs a long shot ahahaha but just say youâll think about it?Â
hoonie: Youâre not overstepping at all, Iâve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and Iâd like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along đ If youâre free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer
hoonie: I missed you so much..Â
hoonie: đ€
The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesnât escape Chaewonâs notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you.Â
âGood trip?â she asks, coming over and hugging you. âNever leave me for that long again,â she mumbles into your shirt.Â
âIt was a week, Wonie,â you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too.Â
She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. âIt was nine days.âÂ
âThe longest of my life.âÂ
Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. âThat bad, huh?â she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her.Â
During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her.Â
âNo, not at all,â you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. âI had fun.â As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesnât work.Â
Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. âHow much fun?âÂ
âYouâre disgusting.âÂ
âI didnât even say anything!â she defends, holding her hands up. âI made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and itâs hot.âÂ
âShut up.âÂ
âYouâre telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still donât want him? Youâre a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,â she says, tilting her head. âI think I would kill for that chance.âÂ
âDonât touch him.â
âOh?âÂ
âJesus, Chaewon, itâs not like that. Hoonâs too sensitive for your roster.âÂ
âI never said it was like anything, youâre the one whoâs dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.âÂ
âSunghoon isnât hot; heâs..â You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, youâve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparentsâ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. âJust leave him alone.â
Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. âOkay,â she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.
You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. Itâs not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldnât bother you, nor would it be any of your business. Theyâre grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, thereâs a nagging feeling you canât shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind.Â
When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.
you: sounds good, see u later đ€
After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once â drunkenly â said he loved on you.
You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand.Â
hoonie: Do you want to head to class together?Â
you: sure! iâm omw out, where should i get you?Â
hoonie: .. Iâm outside your building :DÂ
Breathing a laugh through your nose, you donât fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, heâs standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.
âHey!â you call out, jogging over to him.Â
Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction.Â
âI wasnât sure if youâd have eaten anything yet, you donât normally in the morning,â he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. âMatcha. Ham and cheese toastie.âÂ
âDid you make these?â you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides.Â
He hums, nodding his head.
You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When youâre done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day.Â
âIâm meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but Iâm all yours after that.âÂ
âTalk about your grades? Whatâs wrong with your grades?âÂ
Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adamâs apple. âMy grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think heâll bench me if I fail again.âÂ
He sounds like heâs being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoonâs grades were your parentsâ favourite point of comparison.
âReally?â you ask. He nods. âWhatâs up? Is something the matter?âÂ
A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. âYeah, my best friend didnât talk to me for three months.âÂ
âOh..â Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. âIâm sorry.â
âIâm not blaming you, itâs not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.â He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. âBut if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.âÂ
âDeal.âÂ
Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isnât unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. âYouâre too good to me,â he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.
At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.
Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. Thereâs something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard.Â
During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; itâs a document adorned with Sunghoonâs own musings about Hemingwayâs style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.
âHow are your notes so good?âÂ
âI picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,â Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. âI liked it.âÂ
A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But thisâthis is different. You canât help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was.Â
âDonât look at me like that,â he mumbles.Â
Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words heâs typing: I wouldâve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..
Thereâs no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thingâa single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose â the most prominent â against your skin.Â
You remain this way â silent, watching â even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesnât notice your gaze searing into his face.
After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. Itâs uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way youâre sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjinâyou wonât do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoonâs face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs.Â
To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for youâheâd written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.
Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure youâre surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They donât say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact heâd given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. Youâre not sure why their silence disappoints you.
Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence.Â
âWhat flavour for ice cream?â Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. âAnd donât say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.âÂ
âThat happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?âÂ
Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose.Â
âMint-cho isnât that bad,â she starts. âItâs a little jarring, sure, but itâs kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.âÂ
You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know sheâs not trying to insult you, but donât know what she means when she says, âIt must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.âÂ
Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statementâs journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets â the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood â at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices.Â
Itâs only hours after Yunijnâs gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.
âI think Iâm getting sick,â you say as soon as she opens her door. âItâs been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.âÂ
Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. âDo you..â She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. âDo you have any idea what time it is right now?âÂ
âYes. Itâs three a.m.âÂ
âExactly. See a doctor if youâre sick, Iâm going back to sleep.â
âThis is an emergenââ Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. âItâs three in the morning,â she reminds you. âYou canât yell like that in my hallway, come in.âÂ
You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. âSorry,â you whisper when the door is closed.Â
Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. âYou donât look or sound sick,â she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. âWhat are your symptoms? And why did you come here?âÂ
You donât have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. âMy cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.â
âYou seem fine to me.âÂ
A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. âThatâs the thing. Iâll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like Iâve run a marathon.â You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of youâitâll be easier to confront that way.Â
From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. âOh?âÂ
âI know.â You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. âItâs only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.â
At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like youâre glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed.Â
âWhat are you smirking for?â you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door.Â
Her response only comes after youâve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. âItâs nothing,â she says, laughing.Â
âTell me.âÂ
Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think itâs meant to be comforting but itâs the opposite. âYouâll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isnât deadly.âÂ
Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm.Â
Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but canât help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up âlovesicknessâ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like âunrequited loveâ forming a pit in your stomach. Thereâs nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequitedâyou think.Â
It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way heâd tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents werenât there to see, or how he slipped up and called you âbabyâ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You canât fake something like that.. Can you?
Yeonjun did.
Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jakeâs story comes up first; heâs at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring.Â
Oh, you think. Lovesickness.Â
When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jakeâs story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportionâso vast thereâs a safety railing lining its edges.Â
You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like youâre watching it on a screenâit was your third night at his parentsâ house, after your walk.Â
You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours.Â
There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoonâs mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world.Â
You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gazeâhe brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate.Â
âHi,â you said, clearing your throat.Â
âHi,â he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. âItâs still hot so be careful.âÂ
Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell youâd come to associate with comfort and homeâwith Sunghoon.Â
âItâs not fair for me to treat you like shit just because Iâm annoyed, I shouldnât have spoken to you like that earlier. Iâm sorry.âÂ
A crease ran over Sunghoonâs thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. âYou donât have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didnât even try to think about how you would feel. Iâm sorry.â His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.
âAnyway, I only came to bring you that,â he said, pointing at the cup. âAnd to check up on you, Iâll get out of your hair for tonight.â Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hairâwhatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. âYou left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. Iâm sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didnât feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.âÂ
Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first yearâthey were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didnât feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one youâd been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED IâD BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest.Â
âGoodnight, YN,â Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. âI really am sorry.â
That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it.Â
This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. âYou have class in an hour, what are you doing?â Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. âOh, the feelings.âÂ
You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say.Â
At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isnât around to tease you about the smile you canât wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoonâyouâll text her later.
You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you donât stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who donât take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vainâyou would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.
Itâs not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon.Â
you: i have news wonie.. i like sunghoon
wonie: âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ.. fork in the kitchen yn whatâs the news?Â
wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call?Â
She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasnât arrived, and thereâs no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call.Â
âAre you going to tell him?!â Chaewonâs voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear.Â
âI donât know.â You shrug even though she canât see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. âI donât have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. Itâs been a while, and I was pretty mean that day.Â
Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. âDid you have to tell him to get a grip?âÂ
âYou know..â You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. âIn hindsight, probably not.âÂ
A beat passes, sheâs thinking. âDonât worry,â she says. âIâll help you.âÂ
âI.. have never been so worried in my life.â You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. âBut I know youâll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.âÂ
Chaewon squeals down the phone. âI love youuuuu!â And itâs the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up.Â
Slumping in your seat, you donât have any time to stress about Chaewonâs plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm.Â
She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that youâll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of termâIan McEwanâs Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.
hoonie: Wanna study together after class?Â
you: of course!!!!!!Â
hoonie: đ€
The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.
you: class just finished, heading to lib rnÂ
hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table?Â
you: iâll try..
It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when heâs here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view.Â
Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesnât help that heâs wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didnât realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You canât tell if itâs his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him thatâs making his biceps look so huge but itâs hard to look away, even when he reaches the table.Â
âAre you hot?â you blurt out.Â
Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way heâs looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. âDepends whoâs asking.â He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.
âIâm asking,â you mumble.Â
âThen, yeah, Iâd hope so.âÂ
Is he flirting? It sounds like heâs flirting. Flirt back! âNice arms.âÂ
He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. âAre you flirting with me?â He canât fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.
âA little. They are nice though,â you admit.
Sunghoon grins. âThanks, Iâve had them for a while now.â
You canât come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. Itâs only when you look away from him that you remember what youâre here for. Itâs a study date, not a study dateâthereâs a difference.Â
You hand Sunghoon the material youâd printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts youâd studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you canât help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while heâs thinking. You arenât making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you canât help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you canât see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up.Â
After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. âCould you stop watching me?â
âIf you noticed me watching, that means youâre watching me.âÂ
He shrugs, chewing on his lip. âWell, yeah. Iâm always watching you,â he says like itâs a given. âBut you donât normally watch back, itâs distracting.âÂ
âYouâre distracting.â
A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. âAm I?âÂ
Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you donât look as wound up as you feel.Â
Sunghoonâs eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you donât recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head.Â
âYou know,â he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. âIf my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldnât want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?âÂ
Oh.Â
Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. âSunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.âÂ
His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesnât spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.
âAre you going to get that?âÂ
Sunghoon shakes his head. âItâs nothing.âÂ
You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that heâll elaborate without being asked to. It doesnât take long for him to deliver.
âItâs just Chaewon,â he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. âWeâve been texting a lot these days.âÂ
âCool.â You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesnât, only humming in response, nodding too.Â
After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you canât see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears reddenâFuck. This is worse than you thought.Â
Chaewonâs commitment to girl code runs deepâsheâs been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl sheâd never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing sheâs saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word âbuddyâ from across the table.Â
What you hadnât counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoonâs feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and youâd already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, heâd move on, he has moved on.Â
The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jakeâs been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set.Â
âWith or without the meals, I wouldâve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..â Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. âHe even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.âÂ
âYouâre terrible,â you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. âDo you want to come in?âÂ
Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. âI have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, Iâd have to leave inââ He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. ââeight minutes.âÂ
âIâm cool with that if you are,â you mumble, suddenly shy.Â
A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in.Â
Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You canât help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you canât change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are?Â
You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadburyâs hot chocolate that youâre sure is on the brink of expiration, coffeeâsachets of the instant stuff youâve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewonâs mum brought home from a tripârooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon.Â
Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoonâs head and setting it beside your cup. Heâs on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything heâs seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink.Â
On the dish rack, Chaewonâs mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. âIâm going to check if Wonie wants any,â you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor.Â
Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. âSheâs not home, one of her acrylics popped off so sheâs at the shop waiting for a cancellation.âÂ
The information itself isnât jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation.Â
âIf you knew youâd have to go back to campus so soon, whyâd you walk me home?â you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. âI couldâve walked on my own.âÂ
Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope heâll say. You think you need him to say it.Â
âBecause you donât have to do anything on your own when you have me,â he says instead, and itâs infinitely better.Â
The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet.Â
Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when itâs time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.
Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You donât let go when he does, and a sweet laugh â a giggle, you think â tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on.Â
âYou donât have to walk me downstairs, honestly,â he says, looking down at you in the doorway.
âI want to.âÂ
His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force youâre sure itâs visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away.Â
âIâll text you when I get to the door, promise.âÂ
You lock your pinky with his. âSend a selfie, just so I know itâs you and not someone else using your phone.âÂ
Sunghoonâs head falls back in a laugh. âShould I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.âÂ
You nod.
âThat wasnât anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..â He trails off, searching your eyes. Itâs obvious that heâs telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. âI wasnât sure if that was something I could talk about with you.âÂ
Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture insteadâyour best friend is going through something and doesnât feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles.Â
âYou can talk to me about anything,â you say, meaning it.Â
Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. âNext time,â he says after a beat, waving at you.Â
You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoonâs calling.Â
Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.
Thankfully tonight, itâs the first one.Â
Youâve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flowsâan hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence.Â
Itâs during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, âLet me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. âI donât want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I wonât bring it up or ask again.â
Arching a curious brow, you nod. âYou can ask me anything,â you say, meaning it.
Sunghoonâs face is impressively blankâminus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, thereâs absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you.Â
Eventually, he asks, âCan I kiss you?â He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they donât register. They donât matter.Â
Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you canât get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands.Â
âFor closure,â you repeat, though your voice doesnât sound like itâs coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart.Â
Sunghoon nods. âFor closure.âÂ
A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldnât have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting.Â
One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoonâs hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like heâs committing them to memory.
Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoonâs kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. Itâs hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, heâs trying and heâs perfect; your favourite.Â
The kiss is.. itâs everything. Itâs the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. Itâs a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. Itâs Sunghoonâs soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and itâs every bit as lovely as the rest of him.
Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger.Â
Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. Youâre all Iâve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. Youâre everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think heâs saying, weâll be okay, I still love you.Â
With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathingâheâs beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoonâs hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you.Â
Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. âWas it everything you ever dreamed of?â you whisper, part teasing, all curious.
Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. âI have to go.âÂ
You want to stop him, you think youâre supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you donât. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoonâs back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until heâs out of sight.Â
Itâs your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you canât tell if itâs his leaving or the mention of him moving on thatâs tripping you up so much. Thatâs causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under.Â
You love him. Heâs gone.Â
Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloyingâclay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on.Â
Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesnât reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing.Â
Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands.Â
âDonât move on.â The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you.Â
âHuh?â He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him.Â
You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. âI donât want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please donât move on.âÂ
The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.
âDo you..â He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.
âI do,â you whisper, nodding. âIâm sorry for taking so long.â
An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. âYou like me?â he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.
âI love you,â you admit, settling on his thighs.Â
âYou do?â His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.
You nod. âSo much.âÂ
Sunghoonâs chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that canât turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.Â
âSo.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?âÂ
Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. âI will. Iâm a little bummed though.âÂ
âWhy?â You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it.Â
âI wanted to be the one to ask you.â Sunghoonâs honesty warms the room, endearing you completely.Â
You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. âAsk me anyway.âÂ
âPlease can I be your boyfriend?âÂ
In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. Heâd get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. Heâd buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.
He wasnât ready to have sex and didnât know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didnât want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest.Â
The only thing was that your lecturer hadnât given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby âčïžÂ
This morning, youâre brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!
When the picture comes through, itâs of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. Heâs smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that heâs holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants.Â
Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesnât.Â
hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?
you: mm..Â
you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!
hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?
you: i love itâŠâŠâŠâŠ.
hoonie: My girl đ€
Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.
you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hoonie: Thx đ
hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha đ
you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.
Your resolve isnât strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back.Â
The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. âHey, gorgeous. You proud of me?âÂ
You beam at him, holding out the flowers. âIâm very proud, Hoon, well done.âÂ
âI donât want to ruin the moment,â he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. âBut hearing you say youâre proud of me is awakening something I didnât know existed.â
âA good something?âÂ
âMm,â he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. âA very good something.âÂ
Sunghoonâs words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage.Â
He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. âI donât think we own a vase.âÂ
In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.
âOh, yeah,â he says. âItâs Jayâs. Itâll work right?âÂ
You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly.Â
âCan I take a photo?â he asks when youâre done.Â
Heâs smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too.Â
âTheyâre yours, baby, do whatever you want.âÂ
âA photo of you with the flowers,â he clarifies.Â
Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. Heâs watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.
âI want pictures of you too,â you say, handing the flowers over.Â
âIâm yours, baby, do whatever you want.âÂ
Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. Heâs glowing and heâs beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent.Â
âThank you, YN,â he says. âIâve never gotten flowers before, I love them.â His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond.Â
You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.
Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. Heâs nervous, you thinkâthough it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.
Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. âOf course, Iâm nervous.âÂ
âYou donât have to be.â
âI just want to be good for you.âÂ
âDonât worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.â Your palms drag up his torso â firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart â to rest on his shoulders. âSit,â you say when he nods.Â
He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot.Â
âWait,â Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. âLet me calm down, baby. At this rate, Iâll come just seeing your hand on it.âÂ
You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.
âIâm serious, YN,â he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. âI need a minute.âÂ
Sunghoonâs eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. Heâs so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You canât help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you heâs ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down.Â
Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you canât look away. âPretty,â you whisper.
Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adamâs apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. Itâs a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can.Â
Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.
âAm I doing okay?â you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.
He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. âIâm.. Youâre doing such a good job, baby, so good.â
Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock.Â
A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.
Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying whatâs left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. Heâs mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so youâre lying next to him with your head on his chest.Â
âYouâre amazing, baby, so good for me,â Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest.Â
Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. âReally?â
He hums in affirmation, nodding his head.Â
âYou were so quiet, I couldnât really tell,â you add, hungry for more praise.Â
âThe walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,â Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, âIâm sorry. You were perfect, I swear.âÂ
Itâs a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.
âCan I..â Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours.Â
You nod. âYou can.âÂ
Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you.Â
What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. Itâs almost jarring, itâs enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit.Â
âCan you take these off, baby?â he asks, hand away to touch your leggings.Â
You donât waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt.Â
âAnd this? If you want..âÂ
You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your braâwhite and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon canât seem to get enough, though he waits until youâre lying down again to touch you.Â
Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. âYouâre beautiful,â he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. âSo beautiful,â he repeats.Â
Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, âThank you,â into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legsâyou lift one of them, resting it over his body, and heâs smiling sweetly when you look up at him.
Sunghoonâs movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skinâthis time he pushes two fingers into you.
It doesnât get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly.Â
Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, âRelax, baby.âÂ
âDonât want to hurt you.â
Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them.Â
âYou wonât, I promise,â you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.
Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as youâll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage.Â
A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. Itâs difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, âAm I hurting you?âÂ
âHoon,â you whisper.Â
âCan you look at me, baby?â He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. âAm I hurting you?â he asks again. âAre you okay?âÂ
You nod. âIâm okay, just..â You sigh. âFull. Need a minute.âÂ
Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. âWant you to move, baby,â you mumble.Â
He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. Heâs slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls.Â
Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.
You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. âGood, Hoon, feels so good,â you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.
âJust want to make you feel good.â His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. Heâs working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need itâthe spot that makes the room blur around you. âThatâs all I want.âÂ
Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chestâitâs the closest youâve ever felt to someone else, the closest youâve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.
Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you canât find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under.Â
You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth.Â
After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean upâgentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoonâs tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition.Â
The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into oneâthe thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back.Â
âI love you,â he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. âIâm glad I exist.â
mama park: Hi lovely đ missing you lots, wondering when youâll be home for XmasâŠâŠâŠ..love ma
Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesnât move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on â neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night â and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curvedâlong lashes kissing the skin under his eyes.Â
Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoonâs room. You canât help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back.Â
you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap
mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!
you: iâm so sorry we lied to you..
you: but iâm really happy with him and he loves me a lot
you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life
genre smut, fluff, angst, situationship vibes, college au
synopsis after being brutally dumped by your ex hyunjin, youâre living a broken life, lost in the consumption of getting high and heartbreak. then you meet na jaemin, a one-night stand transforms into a bond. he becomes the catalyst for your healing. but can you genuinely break free from the attachment to your toxic ex? between newfound connection and lingering attachments, will you move on or hold on?
one | two | three | four
chapter warnings very broken, fragile, weak, intoxicated mc (not so much in the 1st chapter just wait lmao) cute friendship moments, girl moments, appearances from other '00 liners, explicit language, swearing, mention of drugs, smoking and alcohol, getting high, under the influence, unprotected sex, breeding kink, oral (f receiving) overuse of âbaby,â ass slapping, daddy kink, size kink and training, dirty talk, big cock jaemin, soft dom jaemin, groping, fingering, nipple sucking, a moment (the girls playing matchmaker) which teases all the other fics in the series which you can see about here, introverted, chill, emotionally intelligent, laid back, mysterious jaemin, jaemin with a darker side, a very sexy jaemin, black haired jaemin, jaemin who has no flaws
author note haerin is the protagonist (y/n) in my one shot mfal, which can be read here. sheâs a side character in this so i wanted to give her a name so avoid confusion for myself lmao. but you can still imagine haerin as mfal!y/n. also thereâs a lot of jeno and haerin in this chapter, a lot of friend moments, girl moments, jaemin only makes an appearance at the end. please stay patient and trust me!! the wait is worth it. he comes in at the perfect time :) i wanted to make this more friendship group based and explore the side characters compared to mfal, so :))) enjoy. also hana is heejin now from mfal! i changed her name, sorry about my bad planning, this is the second story that iâve ever written (mfal my first) so iâm still learning and making mistakes. hana is an og so i didnât wanna give her a popular idols name!! still need to change her name in mfal lol
part of neo heartbreaker series, same universe as mfal but can be read as a standalone. comment to be added to the tag list for future parts!! this is a 4 part series
âi know that it breaks your heart when i cry again, over him, i know that it breaks your heart when i cry again, instead of ghostinâ himâ
playlist ariana grande ghostin, prettymuch phases, ghosting txt,
â„â„â„â„
âJeno told me to show you this.â
You point your phone in Haerinâs face, eyes closed as she grips the device in her hands, mouth watering as she lets out a sigh, fighting her urges but she gives in, whining about Jenoâs âmonster cockâ and how much she loved and missed it, how she wanted to fuck herself dumb with it⊠something like that. You chose to drown her words out. Hana letâs out a sound of realisation from beside you, understanding why your eyes were closed. Itâs because you didnât want to see Jenoâs cock.
âWhy is he sending you that photo?â Hana asks, eyes puzzled.
âItâs because Haerin is ignoring all his texts and calls so he told me heâd make me my favourite dinner for a week if I shoved the photo of his cock in her face.â You explain, Hana giving you a knowing nod. Who would refuse that offer? Lee Jeno belonged on master chef.
âWell you can tell him he can shove his cock in his own mouth.â Haerin shakes her head furiously, words high pitched and spoken with anger. She sneaks a final glance and lets out one last whimper before handing you your phone back.
You nod, fingers typing away.
you - she basically said fuck you and that you can shove your own cock in your own mouth
jeno - bet my baby was moaning at the photo though. i know what sheâs like
jeno - needy slut tries to act like she doesnât want me when sheâs mad at me
jeno - when she wants me even more
you - seems like something you should text her!
jeno - bitch thatâs the point sheâs ignoring me
âI'm gonna kill Jeno." You look up from your phone, your gaze shifting to Hana as you share amused glances, spotting a very annoyed and pissed-off Haerin sitting opposite you both in the canteen. It's been a long day of back-to-back lectures, and Haerin has been frustrated throughout them all. Uncharacteristically, she hasn't been paying attention in class, even though she's easily the top student and smarter than every single one of her peers.
She swirls her noodles around with her chopsticks, more focused on her irritation than her meal. "Why did he leave so early this morning?" You question.
"You tell me." Haerin exclaims, her voice raising a few octaves as she shakes her head in frustration.
"Wait, why are you pissed off at him again?" Hana asks in confusion.
"It's Jeno."
âYeah I know, I asked why ââ
"He was about to go down on me, but then he got an 'important' phone call, said sorry and left." Haerin explains with a huff. "I say 'about,' but he was already inside of me! He had just put his cock into me and then left before he started fucking me!!!!" Anger seeps through Haerin as she recalls the incident.
You and Heejin share a look, raising your eyebrows and holding back a laugh. Haerin and her boyfriend, Jeno, have a lot of sex. They're intimate every day, and he practically lives with you three girls. You admire the fact that they're deeply in love, evident to everyone around (and sometimes heard), but you're also put off by how frequently they engage in sexual activities. You and your roommate Heejin have become too accustomed to walking into any room in the house and seeing Haerin getting her back blown out.
âI need him so fucking bad that Iâm genuinely kill the next person I see if theyâre not him. Iâm so fucking stressed right now and getting my back blown out by him is the only solution. I just need him to slap my pussy and my ass and spit in my mouth. I need him to choke me and I need his cum in my mouth or in me!!! Fuck I need his babies. I just need his cock shoved down my throat, I need him to wipe the drool from my cheeks after Iâve sucked him off, I need him to fuck my throat, I need him to tie my hair up for me and move the strands that get stuck in his mouth when Iâm sucking his cock.â
Hana lets out a loud laugh at how the chatter on the tables surrounding the three of you had silenced completely, obviously in reaction to Haerinâs loud and incredibly sexual words. She usually had no filter when it came to the desires she shared with her boyfriend.
Haerin cries out, scrolling through photos on her camera roll and you wish you wouldnât have glanced her way but youâre pretty sure you see Jenoâs cock grace her phone screen, (you also wish you didnât know what it looked like.) Your eyes widen in shock as she lets out the loudest and horniest moan youâve ever heard, she wasnât even trying to conceal it, clearly not caring about who hears. Her mouth waters at the photos she has of him saved on her phone.
Haerin continues complaining, staring down at her noodles with a scowl, gaze moving to her phone once again and rapidly scrolling through the photos. "We haven't had sex since like⊠last night!"
You huff, contemplating how Haerin, if in your shoes, would likely struggle. The memory of your last intimate encounter, five months ago, casts a shadow, and a momentary sadness clouds your features. Shaking off those feelings, you ignore Hanaâs observant gaze â she notices everything. How is she so observant? You disregard the look she's giving you, hoping she won't give it any more attention.
A sigh of relief escapes when Haerin continues to complain, Hanaâs attention shifting.
"I'm going crazy.â Haerin breathes heavily, her eyes widening. "I keep crossing my legs, but nothing feels like him."
Her voice and expression turn darker. "I wanted to cut his dick off, especially when he kissed me and said he'd make it up to me."
Your eyebrows raise. "That's quite sweet, though?" You've seen the way Jeno kisses Haerin. If you were ever kissed like that, you'd melt. You'd complain about nothing. The heavy feeling overtakes your heart once more when you remember that once upon a time, you were kissed like that.
"Isn't this the third time this week it's happened?" Hana questions.
Haerin nods immediately. "He keeps saying sorry, telling me he can't tell me where he goes off to, but I know where he's going and who he's seeing. He doesn't need to tell me to know."
"And I know you guys already have an idea. If you think about it, it's not difficult to figure out."
The three of you say "Jaemin" unanimously.
"I swear you said that the only time he'll leave you mid-sex is for one reason... it's Jaemin.â Hana mumbles. Her attention is more focused on taking Haerin's chopsticks from her hand, swirling around her noodles, and then feeding her. Irritation almost overtakes her at the sight of Haerin staring down at a plate of empty food.
"Has he fallen off the face of the earth?" You question, thinking about the last time you saw him. You didn't know Jaemin that well. All you knew was that he was the best friend of your best friend's boyfriend, and he occasionally hung out with the group. But you don't think you've heard him mutter more than three words, ever. He was quiet and didnât like speaking, there was nothing wrong with that, you was like that too..
When you don't get an answer, you return to reality and find a choking Haerin, obviously struggling to eat her noodles. Hana swiftly hits her back and offers water to ease the situation. Once the scene simmers down, Haerin, with a few chesty coughs, explains, "Jeno's not telling me everything because he has this sworn secrecy not to air out his best friend's personal life and problems to his girlfriend. But from the small things I've seen and heard around, I hear that Yeeun dumped him â"
"I heard that Yeeun cheated on him and he's literally on his death bed, depressed and getting high all the time," Hana whispers.
"I heard that she left the country and he tried to follow her." Haerin whispers back. The two of them go back and forth on rumors and speculations, which you observe, choosing not to get involved. Instead, you lean back and watch with a grin. You were never too interested in partaking in gossiping and bitching; it wasn't your thing, but you don't deny that hearing it was always good.
The gossiping comes to an end when they realize they're getting nowhere. You and Hana both turn to Haerin with a sigh. "Why can't you just ask Jeno? He obviously knows."
Lee Jeno, the one who harasses you with cock photos, Haerin's boyfriend, Jaemin's other half, theyâve been connected and attached since they were kids. The bestest of friends. Brothers. If Jeno isn't with Haerin, he's with Jaemin. It's a bromance that's heartwarming and sweet â two guys who are platonic soulmates. He obviously knows what's happened with Jaemin.
Haerin shakes her head. "He's not telling me. He's told me little bits, but he's being so vague. I've asked so many times."
"I even did my really cute 'no no' and puppy eyes smiling look, but he didn't budge. You know how I can make him do anything once I call him 'no no,' but it didn't work this time, so whatever happened is pretty serious."
You look at her astonished. "Why? I thought you told each other everything."
"Yeah, we do. If it's concerning him, he'll never keep it a secret from me. But he's told me it's unfair to air out his best friend's business like that. Jaemin's obviously told him the entire Yeeun situation with secrecy, and I'm sure he'll be hurt if Jeno just tells his girlfriend everything he trusted him with. It sucks to open up and become vulnerable only for everything you've said in trusted privacy to be shared."
You both still look confused. Doesn't having a boyfriend mean the 'don't tell anyone' rule doesn't apply to him?
Even though Haerin is admittedly annoyed at Jeno, she'll always defend him. "Look, I see where he's coming from. Something's happened with Jaemin, and it's clearly Yeeun. I'm worried for him, and obviously Jeno is. That's why Jeno is always going over to him, even when heâs about to put his dick inside of me." She rolls her eyes, accepting the fact that Jeno would drop anything for his best friend.
âHey! You three come over right now!â
You and Hana turn around at Haerin's call, scanning the surroundings to spot Yangyang, Shotaro, and Xiaojun. The scared looks on their faces are evident even from a distance, a clear response to Haerin's tone and directness.
"We don't know anything." Yangyang quickly states as he takes a seat opposite you, anticipating Haerin's impending interrogation.
"You don't even know what Haerin's gonna ask you." Hana chuckles, playfully teasing the boys.
"I know we're about to get an interrogation.â Shotaro responds, the corners of his lips lifting as he grins sweetly at Hana, who ruffles his hair. Eric has now joined the table, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, and sits with you guys without a word. Come to think of it, that's what Eric wasâsomeone who just appeared from nowhere.
You watch with a laugh as he leans his head toward Hana, silently pleading for her to do the same to him and ruffle his hair. However, she just shakes her head and focuses her attention on Shotaro. You smirk, well aware of Eric's crush on Hana, a fact not hidden from anyone at the table.
Turning to your side, you find Xiaojun taking a seat beside you, his knees knocking against yours. He offers a soft smile and a greeting, followed with a series of caring questions. "Are you okay? Have you eaten? Did you sleep well?" His genuine concern warms your heart.
"I did. I'm doing okay, Xiaojun, really." You reassure him, hoping he believes your words. You glance briefly at Hana, who gives you a knowing look and wiggles her eyebrows, hinting at something you try to downplay. You roll your eyes nonetheless, dropping your head to his shoulder, yawning and letting your eyes flutter shut but the loudness will make it impossible to nap.
Haerin cuts through the air, your attention shifting to her. "If you guys know where Jeno is and you're not telling me, then I'm seriously gonna cut and boil each and every one of your dicks. Starting with my boyfriend."
The threat hangs in the air, but Shotaro, ever charming, sweetly questions. "Shouldn't you know where your boyfriend is?" Shotaro asks sweetly, his dimples on full display. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he adjusted the beanie on his head, the thick layer of sleepiness evident in his voice. His charming smile and undeniable cuteness make you coo, prompting you to pinch his cheeks gently. Confusion flickers in his eyes as he wonders why everyone always showers him with affection when he feels he hasn't done much. However, the collective looks of endearment directed at him from all corners of the table convey the unspoken truthâhe's effortlessly lovable, no effort required.
"We all fucking know where he is. He's with Jaemin, and he has been with him ever since Yeeun did her shit and fucked him over like the heartless and selfish bitch that â anyways â Why the fuck are you acting like you donât know where Jeno is, Haerin, donât you guys tell each other everything?â Yangyang asserts, frustration evident in your words.
Hanaâs eyes light up. "You boys know! You know what's happened with Jaemin."
"Yes, we do, and we're not telling you. It's no one's business. Plus, you guys clearly already know; Jeno told Haerin, which means she told you.â Yangyang responds.
"Jeno hasn't told me!!!! Oh my god, how many times do I need to tell you guys?" Haerin exclaims, her voice raising and whining due to reaching full frustration.
"I'd be kinda worried if I was in a relationship and he didn't tell me everythingâ"
Haerin is a testament to defending her boyfriend even when she wants to cut his dick off. âHe tells me everything that I need to know, everything that concerns me and him. There's no secrets with that stuff. He just doesn't air out other people's business to me. My boyfriend is honest and fair. Plus, I'd never tell him anything personal about you guys. There have been so many times you guys have confided in me about something personal and private and promised me not to tell anyone, and I haven't. And I would never. Telling my boyfriend my close friends personal life isn't something I'd be proud about; it's disrespectful and crossing boundaries. We both have a mutual agreement to that. There are standards and expectations in our relationship."
Xiaojun nods, laughing out loud. âIf you know why he's not telling you, then why are you bothering us and trying to get the information from us?"
"Because I'm not perfect and I'm a nosy bitch, okay? Happy???? Plus, if I heard it from you guys rather than Jeno than heâd have nothing to feel guilty about and it would satisfy my craving to know everyoneâs shit.â Haerin exclaims dramatically, truthfully revealing her nosy intentions. Suddenly, she groans and loudly slams her head on the table, shedding real tears when she realizes one of her nails from her set has broken off.
â„â„â„â„
Later that night, the comfort of your own house embraces you after a long day of classes. You and the girls gather on the sofa, indulging in your favorite rom-coms, creating an overall cozy evening.
Haerin, as usual, is talking about Jeno. You can't find it in you to get annoyed; she loves him, and sharing her happiness is second nature. She excitedly recounts the details of one of the many expensive getaways he took her on.
"We went skinny dipping," she begins, "He fucked me in every corner of the cabin we were staying in. The kitchen, the lake, on a blanket outside by the lake, against the wall of our room â we actually broke the bed and had to pay extra for it."
"Oh, and we did it in the bathroom and the shower a lot. I remember he was balls deep inside of me, he had made me cum for the sixth time in a row, and we were both close to falling down and fainting. He was fucking my cum back into me then he told me he wanted to marry me be the father to my children. We didnât use protection for that entire day and he kept trying to fuck a baby into me. Thank God I didnât get pregnant. He was quite high at that time and although I wasnât, I was on my 6th orgasm. We were literally ready to be parents at that time⊠thatâs what good sex does to you.â
You and Hana widen your eyes at Haerin. She always shares stories about their very intense and loving sex life, sometimes she even shows you videos and photos, you never look at them the same way after hearing it all â especially Jeno. He's a freak
âYou guys are⊠on another level.â Hana laughs.
"You guys are the cutest." You smile for Haerin, masking the twinge of loneliness and heartache you feel. It's selfish, but seeing your best friend so happily loved up hurts, even if you're genuinely happy for her.
Haerin notices your silence and sends a sweet smile your way, patting your head and asking if you're okay. You can tell she feels a twinge of guilt, especially when she offers her way of making you feel happier.
"Let's get you with someone!" she claps her hands excitedly, trying to play matchmaker.
"Nooo," your hands make a crossing motion, but she won't listen. Once her mind is set on something, it's set.
"Yes!" Hana claps happily, and you huff when you realize you're outnumbered.
Haerin starts listing potential bachelors. "First of all, there's Donghyuck â hot and he knows it. A bit of a lost cause, but he's fearless and obviously good in bed! You're the opposite of him â more sensible and mindful, you can guide him in the right direction, like me and Jeno!"
You shake your head at that idea immediately. "He's high 95% of the time. He isn't serious. Plus, I heard he's got his eyes on that girl. What's her name again? She's the older sister of Jieun, used to be popular but now sheâs the typical rebel. She's kinda rude.â
Hana offers her batch of men. "Okay, then... Yangyang! He's cute, he's â"
"He's gay," You laugh as you watch her realise it. âHeâs gay and I donât know if he knows it yet.â
Haerin's eyes light up when she thinks she's found the man. "Mark's cute! Smart, nerdy, apparently has a big cock and is really good in bed. Plus, he's sweet, emotionally mature, and just recently broke up with his girlfriend â"
"He's in love with his best friend.â You mutter. Mark and his best friend have been attached to the hip since birth, and they're also in love. They're both just oblivious idiots, but somehow everyone around them knows.
âThereâs Xiaojun, heâs boyfriend material and he definitely wants to fuck you.â Hana nods to you, rolling her eyes when you shake your head at her amazing idea.
âHeâs sweet but heâs such a fuckboy⊠he wants to fuck everyone.â You respond, truly not wanting to get involved with a player. You stray far away. He was one of your closest friends and you did trust him with your life but that was emotionally. You knew his sexual side was another side to him that you quite simply didnât want to get involved with. It was unexpected how much he rolled around in the sheets. Plus, he was one of your best friends!
Hana scratches her neck and whispers to Haerin, "This is hard."
Haerin grits her teeth in pure frustration. "There are so many guys at âNeo Culture Technologyâ but at the same time, they're all either gross or unavailable."
"Who's left?" Heejin questions.
"There's Shotaro â but apparently, he's got a thing for that really hot Wonbin guy. There's Eric â but he's in love with Hana. There's Sunwoo â but he's in love with me. And I can't think of anyone else. There's Jeno, but if you touch him, I'll kill you," Haerin starts giving the rebuttals herself.
"Eric is not in love with me.â Hana tuts, shaking her head in denial.
âYeah and Jenoâs not in love with me.â Haerin rolls her eyes dramatically, speaking in a sarcastic tone, trying to emphasise how naive and oblivious Hana was.
"Also, Sunwoo's stopped trying to chase after you. Jeno scared him away forever." Hana laughs, but you widen your eyes in slight fear, remembering the night when Jeno put an end to Sunwoo's dreams of having Haerin permanently.
Haerin however dreamily closes her eyes at the memory. "My man."
"Wait, there is someone else. Jeno gave me this idea, and I didn't get it then, but I do now. It's Jae â"
Speaking of the devil, the atmosphere shifts as Jeno casually strolls in, exuding a magnetic presence. His confident gait and tousled hair give him an effortlessly cool appearance. His eyes, a warm and inviting shade, immediately soften as he reaches Haerin.
Greeting everyone with a charming smile, he seamlessly moves toward Haerin. The room becomes a canvas of love as he leans in to kiss her softly. Arms looped around each other, they share endearing whispers, lost to the outside world.
A bittersweet feeling washes over you as you witness their intimacy. Yet, the mood takes an unexpected turn as Haerin gasps, extricating herself from Jeno's embrace, adopting a dramatic stance.
"I'm supposed to be mad at you! You dick!!!!! Leave me again during sex and see what happens. You will have no dick." Haerin warns, forcefully putting on a pissed off voice and expression. You know this was her acting and being dramatic, She found it easier to melt into his arms rather than hold a grudge against him, you understood it. I mean, have you looked at Jeno?
You and Hana share an amused expression as the scene unfolds. Jeno's playful silence only serves to annoy Haerin more. She huffs at his smirking demeanor, her words stumbling initially but gaining clarity. "Can you tell this man that he can sleep outside tonight?" Her arms crossed, a satisfied smile playing on her lips as she faces you.
Nodding, you face Jeno. "Haerin said that you're not allowed to sleep with her tonight."
Jeno tuts, responding with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Can you tell Haerin that if that happens, then she'll come to me in the middle of the night and beg to ride my â"
Haerin cuts him off, shaking her head and narrowing her eyes. "Can you ask him why he's in my house?"
âHaerin asked why are you ââ
âY/N, shut up.â Jeno says seriously, warning you not to speak.
âHae, Iâm in your house because you gave me a key for our anniversary." He explains, his eyes soft as he reaches for Haerin's hand, attempting to make her melt into him but he widens his mouth when she doesnât take his hand like he expected her to.
"Baby." He whispers, his voice a soft and tender melody, likely to make her heart flutter. Despite the softness in his tone, she remains resolute, dodging his attempts to kiss her.
"Why are you mad?" He questions, shaking his head in confusion. Haerin persists with the silent treatment, prompting him to turn to you and Hana with a light-hearted chuckle.
"It's because she wanted you to shove your dick in her throat, but you left." You inform him with a nonchalant tone.
Jeno, with a determined look, works his magic on her. He gently takes Haerin's hand, and this time, she doesn't pull away. His smile, radiant and affectionate, speaks volumes, a sight capable of soothing any emotional ache. His eyes, dreamy and captivating, have the power to make anyone melt.
His voice drops to a low whisper as he utters sweet promises into her ear. "I'll make it up to you, all night long.â He vows, kissing the sides of her cheeks. A low moan escapes Haerin's lips, catching you by surprise. Was she that horny?
You and Hana turn to each other with wide eyes when you hear intense smooching noises and passionate sighs and moans. You take that as your cue to leave.
You walk back in 2 hours later, and theyâre still making love on the sofa. You turn to Hana with a playful smirk, congratulating yourself internally when she pays up. You bet that it would take Haerin less than a day to let go of her grudge, and it did.
âI didnât think sheâd give in so easily.â Hana sighs, defeated, giving you the money with a frown.
âShe always does with him.â You respond.
âI would too.â Hana smiles. The two of you turn to each other with a playful smirk. âI mean, have you seen the way he manhandles her? Have you seen his cock?â
âUnfortunately.â You mumble.
âIt wasnât unfortunate for me.â Hana bites her lips and sighs dreamily.
â„â„â„â„
The morning air is filled with the tantalizing aroma of Jeno's pancakes, a comforting scent that wafts through the entire house. Sighing in relief, you're grateful that it's Jeno preparing breakfast, saving you from the potential culinary disasters that Haerin or Hana might unleash.
The lively chatter in the kitchen reaches your ears before you step in. "I will put the two of you on a sex ban!" Hana warns, yawning as she has another night of insomnia to add to her list.
Chuckling, you enter unnoticed, preferring to remain a subtle presence in the background. You stroll in with a laugh, savoring the fact that they're oblivious to your entrance. Being the subtle presence in the background suits you well â thereâs no need to draw attention to yourself; it's just the way you like it.
Jeno, however, breaks the pattern and spots you immediately. You smile when you see Haerin attached to his back, arms around him as he cooks up.
He turns around, flashing a grin and offering a nod. "Good morning, princess. Finally got up?" His tone drips with playful mockery for no apparent reason.
You respond casually, "I've actually been up all night, thanks to two particular people rolling around in the sheets."
âIt was actually against the wall, on the floor, in the shower, in my car, on the sofa, on her chair and against her desk. I had her arched against the kitchen countertop too. We did it in the bed the least.â Jeno sighs, nonchalantly reminiscing about his night of passion with his girl, leaning down and kissing her on the head, slapping her ass and keeping his hands there, squeezing every now and then.
âFucking hell. All that in one night?â Hana questions, wondering how thatâs even possible.
âAs if thatâs the most theyâve done.â You laugh.
Haerin passionately complains, "You guys are complaining, but I didnât get any sleep either! He had to carry me downstairs and I can barely feel my thighs, I donât know how Iâm standing up right now. Iâve woken up with a hundred bruises on my body because of this manâ
"Babe." Jeno swiftly interrupts, shaking his head at how it sounds.
"We get it. He's a rough lover.â Hana responds, pleading with her hands and begging Haerin not to share more of her intimate stories with him.
Jeno prods his tongue against his cheek. "Loving and passionate is how I like to say it.â He corrects Hana with an affectionate smile.
You smile at the heartwarming scene unfolding before you. In moments like this, the pain in your heart doesnât attack you so brutally. Jenoâs in the kitchen, whipping up breakfast for everyone, and, as per usual, Haerin is attached by his side.
Meanwhile, Hana and Jeno engage in a playful bicker about the correct way to make pancakes (though youâd never admit it to Hana, you secretly prefer Jenoâs pancakes by far). Jeno then presents you with a plate stacked high with beautiful pancakes, adorned with your favorite syrups and fruits.
âJust the way you like it.â He says, and your mouth waters at the enticing sight.
âYou better finish every last bite or else.â Jeno playfully warns, adopting a protective brotherly tone. Itâs a side of him that has emerged over time. He was there when Hyunjin dumped you, he saw the state you was in, he saw how detrimental your health became, how you were neglecting meals. He witnessed he toll it took on your well-being. His increased care and protection over you hasnât gone unnoticed.
Now, youâre surrounded by people who genuinely care about you, youâve come a long way from those difficult days. Despite the strides you've made, the battle persists. The grip of your drinking habits remains firm, and solitary hours in the dark persist. Yet, amidst the struggle, there's a genuine improvement. You compel yourself to believe in the progress, even though the vulnerability still lingers. The fear persists; one trigger, one misstep, and the possibility of crumbling back to the depths looms.
They flash warm smiles your way while you savor your meal. Surprisingly, they haven't even started on their own food.
"You're all weird." you quip, narrowing your eyes as you playfully lock gazes with them, your cold expression meeting their endearing ones.
â„â„â„â„
Jeno is casually perched on the countertop, methodically dipping his sushi into a pool of spicy mayo before guiding the chopsticks to his lips. The furrow of his brow reveals his deep focus on the phone in his hand, typing away with practiced ease. Just as he's about to indulge in a bite, he abruptly halts, raising an eyebrow as his gaze shifts to you three girls.
The widening of his eyes is evident as you initiate a circling formation, youâre a trio of inquisitive troublemakers, with a determination to unearth the mystery about Jaemin that he's hiding. Despite Jeno's clear reluctance to spill about Jaemin and his ex, you girls, fueled by curiosity, launch an attempt to pry the information loose. Hey, nobody's perfect. Youâre all nosy!
A palpable sense of fear colors Jeno's demeanor as the three of you unite your efforts. Questions barrage him, but he remains resolute, shaking his head with a firm "no" and countering every inquiry with a blunt and direct response. "All of you, stop it. If I said I'm not telling you what happened, that means exactly that."
In the face of Jeno's unwavering stance, Haerin's frown deepens, and yet, Jeno's expression softens, he swiftly pulls her onto his lap with one arm and feeding her the sushi on his chopsticks, kissing her cheek softly. "Look, it's not my place to tell you personal things regarding Jae. It's not my story or my heartbreak. As much as I'd love to spill the tea about what a selfish and heartless bitch that Yeeun isâ"
âYeeun is so sweet, though.â You cut him off, a hint of disbelief in your voice as you register the language heâs using. His expression shifts abruptly, turning hard and cold almost instantly.
âYouâd think.â He laughs, but the disdain in his face tells a different story. He despises her, a revelation that catches you off guard, considering she was his best friendâs girlfriend for the longest time.
Jang Yeeun, a girl in the year above, is a vision of beauty that triggers a twinge of envy within you. Whenever you catch sight of her on campus, itâs as if she belongs in a magazine. Her smile, breathtaking and radiant, could light up any room. Her blonde hair, so luminous and silky, seems to catch the sunlight in a way that leaves you in awe. Itâs no wonder sheâs popular â sweet and undeniably attractive. Sheâs always smiling and she radiates such a brightness.
Jeno's annoyance intensifies, a scowl etching across his face. His cheeks flush with frustration, and his eyes darken with a mixture of irritation and discomfort. The tension is palpable as he digs his nails into his palm, a physical manifestation of his inward turmoil.
Observing Jeno's visible agitation, Haerin, perceptive and caring, notices the telltale signs. She reaches out, gently rubbing his cheek with her thumb, and in a gesture filled with intimacy, she plants a soft kiss on his lips. Concerned, she mumbles. âYou okay, my love?â
He responds with a whispered assurance that he's fine, urging her not to worry. His lips find their way to her forehead in a tender kiss, a silent expression of gratitude for her understanding. âI love you.â He whispers against her forehead.
"I just don't wanna talk about Yeeun.â He mutters, the words escaping in a low murmur that carries the weight of unspoken emotions. The intimacy of the moment contrasts with the underlying frustration, creating a complex interplay of feelings within the scene.
Jeno, quick to change the subject, does anything to help the anger in his heart pass. "Anyways, you three are invited to my party. I'm throwing it for Jaemin."
Immediate reactions unveil the distinct personality differences among you and your friends. Hana nods enthusiastically, fully on board with the party vibe â much like Jeno, she loves getting high and wasted, finding joy in nights where memories are non-existent.
Haerin, on the other hand, frowns, turning to face her boyfriend and shaking her head. "Another party?" She questions, her preference leaning towards cozy movie nights, cuddling Jeno, and ordering takeaway. The contrast between her and Jeno is striking, making you ponder how these opposites found each other.
Your reaction remains impartial, but confusion is quick to find a voice. "Huh?" You question, expressing your bewilderment at his idea. "Isnât he currently heartbroken and struggling to get through each day? You think a party is the solution?" Your words hang in the air, a reflection of your practical and contemplative nature compared to the contrasting preferences of your friends.
"Shut up.â Jeno shoots his eyes in your direction, a clear signal for your voice to be silenced.
Haerinâs eyes widen and she sucks in a breath. Seriously? Sheâs turned on right now?
"My man needs some pussy.â The crude statement hangs in the air, and you huff as you realize the reasoning for the party. Of course, people always hook up at Jeno's parties, and it gives him immense pride â he loves being the matchmaker and now he wants his best friend to have rebound sex.
"That's really notâ" You begin, only to be shushed by Jeno.
"You're throwing the party for that?" You inquire, a mix of disbelief and amusement coloring your voice. âCanât you just set him on a blind date or something?â
"Yeah.â Jeno responds simply, a sly smirk playing on his face as he crosses his arms defensively. His eyes light up with humour as he senses your scepticism. He laughs. âJaemin and blind date? Do you even know him? Heâll never show up to that shit.â
"He's gonna hate the party.â You laugh, anticipating Jaemin's reaction. âIf he wonât turn up to a date then you think heâll turn up to a party?â
Jeno, however, gets defensive, a sly smirk still playing on his face as he challenges you. "Suddenly, you know him better than me?" His voice carries an edge, a playful challenge.
When you don't respond, the tension deepens. "Oh, I get it." he continues, his tone implying that whatever he says next won't be pleasant. "You're jealous. You don't think there's any point in throwing him a party because you're here?"
The accusation hangs in the air as he pushes further, daring to ask, "You want him? You wanna fuck him?"
"Fuck off, Jeno." You assert, shaking your head in frustration at his relentless words. He was a pain in the ass.
He continues, pushing his blunt perspective. "It makes sense. Hyunjin dumped you, and then Yeeun tore Jaemin's heart out of his chest with her tacky and disgusting spider fingers and then stepped on itâanyways, you both need good rebound sex. It's better than moping around, crying in the sheets all day when you could be getting your bones jumped in the sheets."
You cut Jeno off, your voice raised in defensiveness. "You don't know what I need." You mutter, defensive goosebumps rising on your arms at the harsh yet uncomfortably true nature of his words.
He shrugs. "Just trying to help. Maybe you should fuck Jaemin; he's really good in bed."
"Maybe you should fuck off, Jeno." You retort, rolling your eyes at his audacity.
Haerin begins scolding Jeno for his behavior as if you weren't there. "Don't talk to her about him. She's still dealing with the heartbreak. How will she fuck Jaemin so easily if all she wants is Hyunjin?" Their words sting, leaving you feeling unsettled. Is this how your friends see you â as weak and fragile?
However, Jeno's honest words bring slight comfort. "He's a fucking idiot, and I want to talk about it. There's no point not talking about what happened, bottling it up and not communicating will just fuck everyone's heads even more. He's not some sacred God whose name shouldn't be spoken; he's the opposite, he's a fucking dickhead. If I see him again, I'll punch him like I did that one time when he was making out with that girl in front of you. He's a cunt, and I'll help you kill him."
"Thanks, Jen." You say, a genuine smile breaking through. Gratitude washes over you â at least someone gets it. He returns your gratitude with an understanding smile, providing a flicker of solace in the midst of emotional turmoil.
Jeno, the master of redirection, skillfully changes the subject. You sigh in relief when the conversation finally shifts away from your heartbreak. He turns to Haerin, locking eyes with hers. "You're coming to the party, and I don't want to hear no."
Haerin huffs, her face dropping â she's not a fan of parties, a sentiment she doesn't hesitate to show.
Without giving a direct response, Haerin's silence prompts Jeno to poke further. "If you don't come, then no sex for a week. He threatens, adding a playful edge to his attempt to convince her.
âYou think youâre the one who proposes sex band in this relationship?â She questions, eyes a siren as her voice deepens. It was true, she had Jeno wrapped around her little finger.
"Why do you want me to come so bad?" She asks, curious about his motives.
"Because don't I deserve to get laid like Jae?" Jeno says with a smirk. "I'll only have fun if you're there." You can't help but roll your eyes at his cheeky remark, fully aware of his regular romantic encounters towards her.
You observe as Jeno leans in, whispering sweet words into Haerin's ear. Whatever he says seems to work like a charm. "Fineeee. I'll come but only for you," Haerin relents, a playful smile crossing her lips as she succumbs to Jeno's persuasive tactics.
You observe them closely, a genuine smile gracing your face as they share a sweet and joy-filled kiss. Their cute smiles and the affectionate atmosphere only contribute to the happiness you feel while witnessing the scene. âHeâs probably gonna fill the tables with your favourite wine.â Hana playfully predicts.
Later that night, in a hushed tone, Jeno whispers to you, revisiting the topic from earlier, "You know I was joking around earlier, but I do really think it's a good idea if you move on and fuck Jaem."
"I don't want that or need it." You mumble in frustration. "Sex isn't the solution to every problem."
"Yeah, it is." Jeno interjects with a confident nod and a smirk.
You roll your eyes. "You're just obsessed with getting your dick wet. You think fucking solves every problem."
âIn Haerinâs pussy, to be exact. Iâm obsessed with getting my dick wet in her pussy.â
Haerin, who has been silently observing the conversation, tuts and playfully hits Jeno on the head. "Stop acting like that. You know when we argue, first of all, we talk about it, explain ourselves, and communicate our emotions, and then we have the best sex of our lives." She scolds him.
Jeno only smiles, not responding to Haerin. Instead, he turns to you with a smirk. "You should think about what I said though. It's a good idea."
"It's so random. I mean, I've never spoken to Jaemin once." You express, noting the mystery and introverted nature of Jaemin, someone you've only exchanged nods and smiles with.
He was a complete stranger to you, shrouded in an air of mystery and introversion. Your interactions had likely been limited to nods and smiles. He didn't go out of his way to engage with people, preferring to keep his circle small and interactions to a minimum, only when necessary. However, you couldn't help but wonder why a connection never formed between the two of you. He seemed to be on good terms with everyone else in the groupâJeno, Haerin, Hana, Eric, Mark, Yangyang, Xiaojun. It left you questioning the unspoken distance between you and him.
Your thoughts are abruptly interrupted when Jeno turns serious, looking at you with empathy. He shares a revelation that sends a shock through you, "It's not really that random. Apparently, Hyunjin's sleeping with Yeeun." He whispers, offering a sweet smile while Haerin rubs your back, looking at you with caution.
Your throat dries, and your vision blurs at the news. You force the words out, "Ohâhowâhow did you find out?" The stutter in your voice betrays your attempt to sound unaffected.
He doesn't answer directly, a regretful expression crossing his face. You're grateful he shared the information, knowing it's better to be aware than blindsided by the painful truth later.
"Y/Nâ" Haerin begins, concerned, but you cut her off, pretending not to care.
"I'm fine." You mumble, excusing yourself to the bathroom. Once there, the façade crumbles. The scene unfolds with you crying, water splashing on your face, your hands feeling foreign. Your heart falters, dizziness and sickness overwhelming you. Your head shakes violently as you hope for an end to this torment. As long as your heart beats for Hyunjin, someone who betrayed you, you fear being broken forever.
â„â„â„â„
You girls got ready in preparation for the party ahead. The bond you and your girls shared made getting ready together a cherished ritual, a source of laughter, and a confidence boost when you needed it the most.
Haerin took charge of your hair, her skilled hands transforming it into a sleek, silky cascade. The soft hum of the straightener filled the room as she worked her magic, creating a look that exuded confidence. Hana couldn't help but gush about the result.
The encouragement from your girls always provided a much-needed confidence boost, especially in those moments when it mattered most. "You look so beautiful and hot!!! If youâre not in someoneâs bed tonight then Iâm gonna get you in mine.â Hana exclaimed, her words laced with genuine admiration.
âLetâs do it.â You turn around and wink at her, giggling when she leans down to kiss your cheek.
With your hair done, the focus shifted to Hana, and you eagerly joined in to help with her makeup. You concentrated as you applied eyeshadow to her eyes, a black smokey shadow look that complemented her features flawlessly. You paired it with a red lip. She looked hot. She beamed at the mirror, hugging you tightly and smooching your head once again, clearly satisfied with the look, you canât find it in you to be mad at the lipstick that stains your hair.
You then turn your attention to Haerin's outfit choice. You couldnât believe how slutty yet elegant her wardrobe was, it was truly a mix of the extremes. She had the tiniest of skirts that barely covered her ass cheeks but then she also had elegant and pretty long dresses, you guess she wore whatever she felt like on the day.
After a moment of contemplation, Hana and you helped her decide on a pretty pink mini dress that will catch everyone's eye. You tie her necklace around her neck, giving her an array of bracelets and rings to accentuate the look. As Haerin slipped into the dress, a hint of uncertainty crossed her face.
"Can you see my ass cheeks through it?" Haerin whispered, turning around and tilting her head towards the mirror, attempting to gauge the view.
"Yeah.â You chuckled, admiring the hot pink lace thong peeking through the thin seams of the tight dress, "but you look incredibly sexy, Haerin."
Haerin's face lit up with a shy smirk at the compliment. "I'm not gonna change it. Jeno loves this thong so much.â She shared mischievously, "Itâs my way of getting him to take me home as early as possible and to get out of this party."
You watch with a laugh when she tries to take a mirror selfie with her ass in the camera lense, Hana silently takes her phone from her hands and assists her, not being able to watch as she struggles, the two of you sharing an amused look when Haerin starts texting away on the phone, blushing when she shows you the texts.
haerin - [photo attachment of her ass cheeks]
haerin - what iâm wearing tonight baby :)
jeno - itâs see through?
jeno - you know my hands will be on your ass the entire night?
haerin - iâll be disappointed if they werenât :(
jeno - you know iâm just gonna rip that off you?
haerin - thatâs why iâm wearing it
jeno - you just wanna get out of the party as soon as possible, donât you?
jeno - funny of you to think that iâll take you someplace private to fuck you when you know that iâm more likely to let the whole party hear you moaning my name
jeno - anyways do you need me to pick you up beautiful
haerin - no baby hanaâs taking us
haerin - see u soon <3
Moments later, the trio of you made your way to Jeno's house. The house exterior exudes sophistication, with sleek lines and expansive windows that hinted at the luxury within. Upon entering, the richness of the house enveloped you.
Immediately, an electric atmosphere pulsated through the air. The party was in full swing, as expected from the notorious extravert and party thrower. The space was alive with a sea of people â some familiar faces from campus, others unknown.
The place was packed, almost bursting at the seams with laughter, chatter, and the rhythmic beats of thumping music that reverberated through the walls. It was a sensory overload The air was thick with the lingering fragrance of smoke and other substances.
Amidst the crowd, Jeno navigated his way through effortlessly, exchanging smiles, nods, and handshakes with friends and acquaintances alike. It was clear â everyone knew Jeno, and Jeno knew everyone.
Jeno quickly spots you, his already dilated pupils widening further. Haerin immediately becomes the focus of his attention and they share a greeting that evolves into an affectionate embrace. He lifts her up, her legs wrapping his waist and his hands find her ass cheeks immediately, his grip tight and firm. As sucking face noises fill the air, leaving you to awkwardly glance around.
Sensing your discomfort, Hana finds you, squeezing your hand to guide you away. However, you unexpectedly bump into familiar faces, and your face lights up with genuine joy. "Yeonjun!!" and "Soobin!!" escape your lips as you greet them, hugging both with grins that reflect the warmth of your reunion. The genuine happiness in their eyes mirrors your own, and you've genuinely missed having them around. They seem happier than ever, forming a couple that could rival Haerin and Jeno.
In the past, Yeonjun was your fourth roommate, and Soobin was always a constant presence. Now, you feel proud seeing them take the next step in their relationship, having moved in together. Their new flat stands as a beautiful testament to their love. Yeonjun is about to drag you somewhere; however, your escape is interrupted by the arrival of the troublesome trioâRenjun, Xiaojun, and Yangyang. They greet you with hugs, but mischievous glints in their eyes make you prepare yourself. Theyâre a pain in your ass before they even speak up
âThereâs no fucking way you actually came.â Renjun exclaims, speaking louder than he needs to, each word marked by his intoxication.
Xiaojun was your sweetheart. âYou look beautiful.â He kissed your cheek, his sweet words causing flutters in your heart as you smiled up at him with gratitude . You wrap your arms tightly around him as he whispers in your ear. âMissed you.â
âNever thought Iâd see the day where you stopped moping around, crying in bed, and actually got off your ass to have some fun!!â Yangyang adds, heâs the only one whoâll be honest and upfront with you, his tone blunt which can come across as mean.
You force a smile, concealing the sadness that lingers within. Despite understanding that he intended for his words to be harmless, there's a lingering ache that suggests your friends might still perceive you as fragile. So what if you weren't in the mood for a wild party? You didn't find solace in the bottom of a bottle or in the haze of substances to cope with heartbreak. And yet, here you are, navigating the sea of unfamiliar faces and the thumping beats that echo the sentiment of your own muted heart.
A tender ache fills your heart. Haerin is like you, shy and reserved, yet the difference lies in the way her vulnerability seems to be guarded by an unspoken shield. You've noticed the whispers that never reach her, the kindness that eludes her gaze, and you can't help but feel a twinge of envy.
In the soft glow of the room, Haerin rests in the secure embrace of Jeno. Their eyes lock, unspoken words passing between them. Their smiles radiate a genuine warmth, an intimacy only for them. In this moment, you realise the unspoken truth â no one targets Haerin. She carries an invisible shield, woven from the threads of love and protection that Jeno provides.
A melancholic frown plays on your lips as you question silently: will you ever find an embrace like theirs again? One where vulnerability is met with understanding, and the world's harshness is softened by the warmth of love. It's a yearning that echoes in the quiet spaces of your soul, a desire for a connection that feels as secure and enveloping as the one you witness.
Parties are overwhelming for you, with their throbbing beats and lively chatter; however, the free alcohol makes it worth it. The liquid courage momentarily hushes the heartbreak and pain, providing an illusion of security in a world that often feels too tumultuous to navigate.
Amidst the pulsating music and vibrant chaos of the party, you find solace in the repetitive ritual of downing drink after drink. The fiery liquid drowns down your throat, leaving a burning trail that momentarily numbs out the whirlwind of emotions within. In the midst of the swirling lights and distant laughter, the free-flowing alcohol becomes the singular silver lining, the only solace you seek in the crowded abyss.
With each sip, you sink into the familiar embrace of intoxication, a sanctuary where vulnerability is masked. The glass in your hand transforms into a shield, shielding you from the prying eyes and unwelcome questions that linger in the shadows. It's a ritual, a coping mechanism that had recently become ingrained in the fabric of your existence, a way to drown out the dissonance of emotions echoing within.
The sensation of getting high and drunk becomes a substitute for the unspoken emotions that remain buried deep within. It's a fleeting escape, a momentary reprieve, where the clinking of glasses and the hum of the crowd momentarily drowns out the echoes of your own struggles. In this sea of temporary numbness, the allure of the next drink beckons, promising a brief sanctuary from the storm within.
You settle onto Xiaojun's lap, feeling the warmth and comfort of the familiar position, both legs on either side. A giddy smile plays on your lips, thinking nothing of it â you always do this was him, it was just another moment of closeness between you two. You were both always touchy and you thought nothing too much of it, it was natural, you assume he thought the same.
Little do you know, your presence on his lap subtly transforms his entire demeanour, leaving him momentarily speechless. You tut and shake your head when you feel his hardness prod against your thigh, a teasing comment escaping your lips. "Really?"
Heâs shrugs. "Not the first time youâve made me hard and not the last." He murmurs, his eyes dark as he rubs his clothed cock against you and you jab his arm. His eyes turn soft as he looks at you. Unbeknownst to you.
You find sanctuary on Xiaojunâs lap, observing the party unfold around you. Mark and his best friend catch your eye, seeming unusually close as they dance with whispered words and foreheads pressed together. Your eyes widen in surprise when you witness Yangyang, Soobin, and Yeonjun engaged in a three-way kiss. Maybe Yangyang has embraced his sexuality, or perhaps he always knew. Your gaze shifts to Haerin and Jeno, on the sofa, trying to conceal that sheâs riding his cock but theyâre not fooling you. Theyâre entwined in each other's arms, lost in their own world of affection. Then Donghyuck, looking incredibly close with someone you didnât realise and you wonder, has he finally found the girl thatâs grounded the wildness inside? You lean back against him with a grin, the familiar ritual of the hot alcohol burning down your throat as you observe everyone.
He lets out a weary sigh as you down another drink, the overpowering scent of alcohol swirling around him, momentarily drowning his senses in an intoxicating haze. "Instead of drinking, you can always just talk to me.â He suggests, concern etched in his voice. "I always tell you, I'm here for you." Xiaojun leans in to kiss your forehead, his gaze holding a mix of care and understanding.
Feeling a twinge of guilt, you shake your head, eager to change the topic. "Let's dance!" You exclaim, trying to lighten the mood. Xiaojun sighs, having just become comfortable with his hands gripping your thighs. He enjoys being in your presence, away from the busyness and loudness, and reluctantly agrees to join you on the dance floor.
You tossed expectations aside, party you did. You cheer at the top of your lungs, dancing close to Shotaro and Eric, the whole group surrendering to the music. Your arms flung up, and you let loose in the wild rhythm of the night.
The beats were relentless, matching the reckless abandon as you downed drink after drink, head held high in the haze of the party. You donât realise how hot you look when you allow yourself to have fun. Drunk on both the music and the drugs, you remained blissfully unaware of eyes following you like a shadow â he wants you.
The lightheadedness sets in, and you can already sense the impending headache that will haunt you tomorrow. Later in the evening, you find yourself inches away from Xiaojun's lips, dancing with closeness, Let loose. Jeno's words echo in your mind â maybe he was right, and you do need a rebound.
Let loose. You glance over to see Eric and Hana taking their passion to the sofa, dry humping in the midst of an intense makeout session. Their uninhibited display stirs a desire in you to embrace the same level of outgoing freedom. Hana finally gave in to Ericâs want of her.
Let loose. You trust Xiaojun, one of your closest friends, you know he won't push it further; you're not ready for that, and he's aware. He knows that youâre only looking to rebound and have a good time. you know he knows. At first you was sceptical, heâs a fuckboy but that means heâs not serious and isnât looking for any commitment, just what you need.
Your emotions are fucked, Hyunjin still has a control on you. You miss him, you want to see him, you want to forget about him, all you want is him. Longing to forget, you desperately wish the grip he has on your heart would release. Xiaojun, smiling and wasted, nods. Youâre both on the brink of closing your eyes, ready to lean in but he's like a magnet, drawing your gaze into the distance. You see Hyunjin, the truth unfolds before you. The man who still holds your heart with his tongue shoved down someone else's throat.
Everything comes crashing down, the raw reality hitting you like a tidal wave. The reckless escape you sought in the party, the dance, the drinks â it all pales in comparison to the harsh truth that pierces through the night. The man you once shared an intimate connection with is now lost in someone else's embrace, and the weight of that realisation hangs heavy in the tumult of emotions.
Jeno was rightâ the lucky girl was Yeeun, Jaemin's ex. As you caught sight of her, envy gnawed at you like a persistent ache. Yeeun, with her radiant blonde hair, possessed a beauty that felt enchanting, almost ethereal. Her presence seemed to cast a captivating spell, leaving you mesmerised yet resentful.
Her blonde locks framed a face that radiated an undeniable allure, making every movement she made seem effortless and captivating. The air around her seemed to shimmer with a certain grace, intensifying the envy that gripped you. In her presence, you couldn't help but feel like an observer to a scene where she effortlessly stole the spotlight.
Time halts, and you find yourself frozen in the moment. Desperation takes hold as you bite your tongue with a force that rivals the pain in your heart, attempting to stifle the sobs threatening to escape. Despite your efforts, tears stream down uncontrollably. Suddenly youâre sober again; the drinks no longer provide an escape, instead it works to intensify the emotions, making everything a hundred times more poignant.
In an abrupt decision, you make a swift exit. Xiaojun, sensing your drop in happiness, attempts to follow, but you halt him with a silent plea. Youâre grateful that heâs not sober or else heâd follow you.
The feeling of invisibility intensifies â no one pays attention to your breakdown. It's not a plea for attention, but in these moments, it seems like you're navigating this emotional storm alone. Hyunjin remains oblivious.
Navigating through the crowd, you find solace in an empty room. As the door closes behind you, a switch flips within. The facade crumbles, and you break down in a way you haven't allowed yourself to before.
Take a moment to collect yourself, leaving the room with the unsettling realization that going home might be the best option. The desire to avoid running into anyone on your way out is fueled by a doubt that anyone would even notice your departure. You donât stand out. No one notices when youâre not there.
As you move through the hallway, your eyebrows rise at the unmistakable sounds echoing through the seemingly thin walls â loud moans, skin slapping against skin, the headboard banging, and the unmistakable noises of passion emanating from not one but two rooms.
This is Jeno's house, a place you've visited before. You can easily discern that one of the passionate pairs comprises Jeno and Haerin, obviously now in the comfort of closed walls. Unfortunately, you're all too familiar with the unique way they express themselves when they fuck, given Jeno's frequent nights spent at your house.
You hear Haerin's unrestrained cries of âdaddyâ at the top of her lungs, audible every minute. Your eyes widen, sheâs genuinely calls him that more than his actual name âJeno.â The absence of any attempt to mask the sounds with music speaks volumes about their boldness. To your surprise, the door is left slightly open, revealing an audacious lack of secrecy, these freaks want people to watch and hear. Your didnât want to look but you glanced before you even thought about it. You nearly choke at the way he has her body bent under him. How the fuck can a human body move in that way?
The sounds from the other room trigger a quick realisation â it has to be Na Jaemin. After all, this is his house too; he shares it with Jeno. Recalling that the party was intended for Jaemin to find rebound sex and move on, you acknowledge Jeno's fair play in orchestrating a night where Jaemin seems to be thoroughly enjoying his time.
The stark difference in the way both couples fuck becomes unmistakable. Haerin and Jeno, unapologetically basking in their love, make no effort to conceal themselves, fucking openly for anyone to see and hear. On the other hand, Jaemin and his mystery girl attempt to be more calculated, trying to mask their moans with loud music but it doesnât work. It seems like youâre witnessing an unintended competition of who can emit louder moans (itâs Jeno).
Before you spot Jaemin, his voice reaches your ears, introducing you to a side of him you never expected. This is not the same introverted, quiet guy who usually utters no more than three words in a conversation or lingers silently in the background, fading into all the buzz. His words, unexpectedly crude and filthy, pierce through the air.
"Scream my name then, go on."
"You didn't say please?"
"Such a tight cunt."
"So wet for me."
His voice, low and deep, transforms his entire persona, a sultry air that causes a rush of heat surges to your cheeks, and you find yourself blushing uncontrollably. You squeeze your thighs together, an action that doesnât make sense but also makes so much sense. It's a revelation, leaving you grappling with the realization that this is the same guy you thought you had figured out â a quiet introvert who has now revealed a whole different side of himself in the throes of passion.
As you prepare to leave, shaking your head at how distracted you became, your steps halt when Jaemin's bedroom door swings open right in front of you. The initial sight that catches your attention is how heâs practically naked, the only thing he has on is tight boxers and youâre wondering, why are you unable to tear you gaze from the sight? You also notice the multitude of hickies adorning his skin, he has cum all over his body.
His heavy breathing and a glazed look in his eyes suggest he's not fully present, as if dwelling in another realm. There's a palpable sense of disorientation, a dizziness that separates him from the pulsating beat within his own chest. Jaemin appears not just physically spent but emotionally detached, lost in a world beyond the immediate surroundings.
His features strike a harmonious balance between softness and sharpness, creating a visage that is both captivating and alluring. His dark, tousled hair adds a touch of casual charm to the overall allure.
Yet, what intrigues you most are his eyesâdeep and penetrating, yet tinged with an emptiness. Despite recent intimate engagements, the light seems to have eluded his gaze, introducing a layer of complexity that adds to the enigma surrounding him.
This is a side of him you never expected to seeâitâs almost like itâs not him. The eyes you're looking at reveal a detached and broken person, so out of it that he doesnât even see or notice you at first.
As your gaze shifts downward, his toned chest, sculpted abs, and peaks make your mouth water. His physique is undeniably attractive and hot, creating a stark contrast to the emotional turmoil reflected in his eyes.
"What the fuck are you doing?" His voice crashes into the moment, causing you to snap back to reality. The sudden sharpness catches you off guard; his tone is darker, more blunt than you ever expected.
"The party's downstairs. I swear to God, I told Jeno not to let anyone come upstairsâ"
You attempt to respond, but your throat feels dry and stuck, leaving you momentarily speechless. Before you can collect your thoughts, Jaemin takes the lead.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" His voice softens instantly, concern washing over his face as he furrows his brows, carefully assessing your expression.
"Iâyeah, I'm fine," you lie, the words escaping through gritted teeth.
Jaemin shakes his head, skepticism evident. "Obviously not true."
He shakes his head slowly, his expression a mix of concern and disappointment. "How much have you had to drink? You look a mess.â He admits with blunt honesty, his perceptive eyes seeing through the facade you try to maintain. He studies your flushed cheeks, the slight unsteadiness in your movements, the glaze over your eyes. the rosy tint of your complexion and the way your words occasionally stumble.
A gulp is your only response as you glance at your reflection in one of the mirrors against the wall. The sight is a disheveled messâsmudged makeup, tears still streaming down your cheeks. The emotional toll and crying have become so familiar that they seem like your default state. You only now realize that you're still crying.
"IâI'm sorry.â You mumble, the words coming out pathetically, struggling to find your voice.
Jaemin's eyes soften, and he offers you a sweet smile, twisting something inside you. You can't help but wonder why he's being so kind.
"What are you sorry for?" He chuckles.
"Is it Hyunjin?" He asks, his voice low and whispered, a hint of caution present as if he's mindful about uttering that name around you.
Jaemin stands there, visibly awkward, scratching his neck and desperately searching for a lifeline to rescue him from the situation. His eyes dart around, unsure of how to navigate the emotional turbulence around you. He subtly rolls his eyes in the direction of Jenoâs room, they were still fucking.
In a fumbling attempt to offer some comfort, Jaemin starts a motion, perhaps to retrieve a tissue from his pocket. Then, the realization hits himâhere he is, practically standing naked in front of you adorned with hickies and remnants of cum. His eyes widen in a mix of surprise and embarrassment, but you shake your head reassuringly. "It's not a big deal."
Your gentle voice acts as a balm, stirring something within him. His eyes lock onto yours, and in that unspoken exchange, there's a shared understanding. Jaemin's thumb delicately grazes underneath your eyes, wiping away the tears from your delicate skin.
"Fuck Hyunjin.â He whispers, his voice soft and tender yet carrying a sharp edge of hurt and anger on your behalf. You nod in response, a genuine smile naturally forming on your lips. In that moment, as Jaemin expresses both solidarity and indignation, you feel an unexpected sense of settlement.
What is it about Na Jaemin? Youâre left pondering, did he even know your name? This is someone who you never expected to be so kind and respectful to you, youâve heard endless stories about how heâs quiet and doesnât talk but youâre seeing a whole different side.
He continues wiping away your tears, and you can't believe you're still crying. The weight of vulnerability starts to lift, making room for a mix of bitterness and a twinge of sadness in your voice as you mumble, "Our exes are fucking."
You wonder if Jaemin already knew, as he doesn't react with sadness or shock. Instead, his facial expression remains void and unchanged. You can't help but envy how he maintains such control over his emotions. All the times youâve seen him, heâs had one expression on his face, nonchalant and unbothered.
âHow are you not reacting?â You cry out more than you wanted to, perplexed as to how he has such a tight control on his emotions. You envy it, you wish you could be like him.
âCome with me.â A surprised gaze lingers in your eyes as his suggestion hangs in the air. He nods towards his room, and you can't help but feel a flush of red creep onto your cheeks. The first thought that leaps into your mind raises questions â does he want to sleep with you? It seems plausible, given the fact he had just been fucking and that this party was thrown to help him find a rebound. What if he sees you as another opportunity?
"I donât wanna fuck you.â You whisper back, the words leaving your lips with a mix of uncertainty and anticipation.
Jaemin shakes his head, a subtle smirk playing on his lips as he contemplates the notion that you believed he was suggesting something more explicit. "I didnât say that was going to happen. Do you want that to happen?" He teases, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he tilts his head, awaiting your reaction. However, you evade giving him a response, breaking eye contact.
"I should be getting home anyway.â You mention, attempting to steer the conversation away.
"How are you gonna get there?" he probes further.
"Hana said sheâll take us, if not then Jeno â" you begin, but he cuts you off with a knowing smirk.
"Hana is shit-faced high downstairs and fucking Eric on the sofa and we can still hear Haerin screaming 'daddy,' so obviously Jeno's busy." He interjects.
"Then Iâll just walk home." You assert.
"Itâs 1 am." He points out. âDo you know how dangerous the street are at this time?â
"Itâs 10 minutes away.â You counter.
âJust come into my room.â He suggests with a confident assurance, the conversation steering in a way you didnât expect. The straightforwardness catches you off guard.
"Just trust me.â He murmurs, his words something you're willing to trust. Weakness washes over you, you donât have anything else to lean on. The prospect of going home in isolation, with only your broken heart and the lingering drink in your hand as companions, feels unbearable.
Without much contemplation, you nod, surrendering to the solace he seems to offer in the unknown. âOk.â You mumble, your response sealed with a hint of anticipation.
Jaemin's room is painted in a rich midnight blue, creating a calming atmosphere. The walls are adorned with posters of indie bands and artistic prints, showcasing his eclectic taste. Muted gray decor complements the deep blue, and lights strung along the walls provide a soft, ambient glow. A well-organized desk sits against one wall, littered with notebooks, a laptop, and scattered pens. The minimalist furniture, including a sleek bed with monochrome bedding, adds a touch of simplicity to the room. Various trinkets and souvenirs line the shelves, hinting at Jaemin's interests and experiences.
Numerous photographs cover one section of Jaemin's room, creating a nostalgic collage on the wall. The alcohol in your system blurs the faces, but the emotions captured in each snapshot are vivid. Smiles, laughter, and shared moments freeze in time. Your vision may be hazy, but the warmth of those memories makes you smile.
Your heart pounds when you realise thereâs an unexpected sightâa half-naked girl perched at the end of his bed. Shock and embarrassment wash over you, sheâs the girl you heard him fucking earlier.
âGet out.â Jaemin's stands with crossed arms, watching her exit with impatience. You recognize her as Karina, a girl from your year. Her eyes meet yours, and she smirks, offering a thumbs up with a mischievous giggle. In a hushed whisper, she says. âYouâre gonna have so much fun, he does this thing with his tongueâŠâ
Her words leave you blushing and flustered. Before you can make it clear that you were not here to fuck, Jaemin swiftly escorts her out, locking the door firmly behind her.
In an awkward atmosphere, Jaemin proceeds to put on a simple top and jeans. The tension is palpable as you fumble through your reasons for being in his room. Confusion clouds your gaze when he extends his black leather jacket towards you, and you silently drape it over your shoulders, catching a scent reminiscent of midnight rain and cinnamon.
"I'm gonna go home.â You mumble.
Jaemin shakes his head in response, "I already said that it's too dark and dangerous â"
"I'll just â"
"Either I'm gonna take you home or you're staying with me," he says sternly. "I can't leave you alone like this⊠wasted and clearly upset. Plus, Haerin is staying over, so I want some sleep tonight. I know her and Jeno will be fucking all night long.â
You nod, the two of you sharing a silent understanding as your eyes meet in the moonlit room. In that moment, your gaze holds a mix of darkness and glistening emotions. "Take me home.â You softly request.
âMy house is gonna empty. You can stay over.â You whisper, heavy breaths taking over your voices.
â„â„â„â„
The air is charged with anticipation as his bulge pressed firmly against your thighs, the sensation sending shivers through your body. You can feel the warmth between you, heâs so hard that his length is digging into your skin.
Jaeminâs staring down at you, body pressed against yours as you fall onto the bed, him following. You canât believe how sexy he looks. His gaze met yours with an intensity charged with an electric current of unspoken words. The moonlight played across his features, highlighting the depth of his dark eyes and accentuating the sharp contours of his face.
He hovers over you, his fingers delicately caress your face. They trace the contours underneath the hollow of your cheek, along your sleek jawline, and over your fluttering eyelashes. His voice was a low murmur, a tone that revealed a depth to him you hadnât noticed before. âSo fucking pretty.â He whispered, and you felt your pussy throb and ache for him.
The room seemed to pulse with anticipation, a magnetic tension pulling you closer in the dimly lit space. There was a certain warmth in your closeness, an unspoken connection that seemed to bridge the gap between you two effortlessly.
The moment you stepped into the sanctuary of your empty house, your lips found each other in an instant, pressing fervently, lost in a mutual hunger. It was unclear who made the first move; it seemed to be a shared impulse. All you were aware of was the rapid beat of your heart as you found yourself breathlessly kissing and biting his inviting lips, your legs wrapped around his waist in an embrace of longing.
As he carried you upstairs, a whirlwind of desire and impatience in his every step, he threw you down on what was, unknown to him, Haerinâs bed. The room, adorned with countless photos of her with Jeno and her friends, went unnoticed in the dim light, its significance lost in the intensity of the moment.
He had mistaken this room for yours but you canât be bothered to correct him. In that instant, the only truth that mattered was the closeness between you two. Besides, a part of you relished the thought of fucking him in her bed - this was a subtle payback for all those times Haerin had fucked Jeno on your bed.
Jaeminâs voice, low and teasing, broke the charged silence. âAre you just gonna stare at me all day?â He teased, his voice a low whisper that caressed your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. âTell me what you want, Iâll give you everything, darlingâŠâ His hot breath against your ear, followed by a gentle bite on your earlobe, intensified the moment.
You continued to gaze into his eyes, finding yourself at a loss for words. His presence was overwhelming â a side of him you hadnât seen before. There was a captivating darkness in his demeanor that left you both stunned and deeply attracted.
His finger traced your lips, gently pulling them down. A smirk played on his lips as his gaze dropped to your legs, wrapped tightly around his waist. Your movements were restless, you keep shuffling, desperate to feel something between your thighs to which Jaemin let out a soft, playful tut too.
âJust fuck me.â You moan out, the words laced with desperation.
He smirks, the embodiment of a tease. âAre you sure?â His whisper is a mix of sweetness and seduction, his eyes soft yet resolute as he looks down at you. His breath fans over your skin, a contrast to the intensity in his gaze.
You nod, trying to attach your lips to his but he dodged, a playful glint in his eyes. âTell me exactly.â
A moment of silence hangs heavy in the air, filled with unspoken longing.
âTell me you want me.â He presses, his voice a gentle command.
âIâm sure.â You reply, your voice barely a whisper.
He tuts softly, a sound that sends a thrill through you. Shaking his head, it still wasnât enough.
âI want you. I want you to touch me, I want you cock in my pussy. I want you to fuck me.â
The air knocks from your lungs when his lips suddenly meet yours in an explosion of sensation. His lips are a perfect mix of softness and firmness, molding against yours with an intensity that sends waves of heat through your body. The taste of him is intoxicating, a hint of sweetness that lingers and beckons for more.
Itâs a collision of longing and emotion, intense and all-consuming. Your mouth opens against his, and the moan that escapes you vibrates against his lips, a raw sound of pleasure that deepens the kiss. His tongue meets yours in a dance of shared passion, exploring and responding with equal fervor.
Each brush of his lips sending shivers down your spine. The world around you fades into a blur, leaving only the exquisite feel of his kiss, the taste of him, and the shared breath that seems to connect you on a level beyond words.
His mouth found the sensitive area of your neck, his mouth moving with a mix of tenderness and urgency that made your breath hitch in surprise, having not been touched like this in so long the air has already been sucked out of you. The warmth of his breath against your skin, mingled with the softness of his lips, created an intoxicating sensation, stirring a deep craving within you.
He then trailed a path of fervent kisses up your jawline, each one imbued with a burning intensity, his lips moving against the contours of your face, each kiss a declaration of desire. His movements were both deliberate and instinctual, as if each kiss was guided by a deep, primal need.
With a deep breath, he reached for the hem of your top, fingers brushing against the fabric in a gentle, almost reverent touch. The material was soft and lights
He slowly lifted the top and there was a moment of quiet, a hush that seemed to fill the space with anticipation. The fabric whispered against your skin as it rose and cascaded down your body prettily, the sound as soft as a breeze through autumn leaves.
Jaeminâs eyes found yours, and in them, you saw a whirlwind of emotions. His gaze was intense. The air between you two crackled. His eyes, dark and expressive, spoke volumes more than words ever could. There was a hunger in them.
He lowered his mouth to your chest and immediately brought your nipples to his lips, his first touch was a slow and thoughtful lick, savouring your taste. He took his time, lavishing your nipple with light swirls of his tongue and gentle kisses, which elicited moans of pleasure to spill from your lips.
He gently bit on the sensitive bud of skin, his teeth releasing with a âpop,â followed by a contented smile as you moan his name. His attention to making you feel good was thorough, a mixture of playful bites, long licks, and occasional sucking.
Slowly, he continued with small, delicate kisses, down your body, from your boobs to your upper thigh, the soft press of his lips against your skin made you whine, pulling on his hair and begging him for where you wanted his touch the most. You slowly grind your clothes pussy against his face, he looks up at you with a smirk. âYou wanna feel me here?â He whispers, voice filled with breath as his soft fingertips tread along your lower stomach, his lower lip captured between his teeth.
You nod eagerly, a mixture of anticipation and nerves filling you as you hadnât had sex in 5 months and you didnât expect to be doing it right now, with Na Jaemin, of all people. It intensifies your emotions but you surprisingly feel ready, you never expected to be so settled in such an intimate embrace with a complete stranger but there was something about Na Jaemin that made you horny.
He presses his lips against yours intensely as his hands gently tease the edge of your mini skirt, eventually slipping beneath the fabric. You break the just for a second, maintaining strong eye contact with him as you pull your mini skirt down your legs, his hands gripping your thighs tightly, caressing it with his soft fingers before eagerly pushing your lace thong down your thighs, lips smashing against yours once again as he tosses both your skirt and thong to the side, trailing kisses up your legs, his fingers beginning to delve into your pussy.
âYouâre so fucking wet.â He hisses against your ear, cold fingers making circles against your folds, the hard metals of his rings touching your burning skin as he rubs on your clit.
His fingers push deeper and deeper into your cunt as your head hits the pillow and you let out a loud moan of his name. He drops open mouthed kisses to your neck as he thrusts his fingers in and out your pussy, grunts leaving his lips at how your slick coats his fingers completely, the feeling of you clenching around his fingers and growing wet making his head dizzy.
âDo you see how fucking wet you are?â He whispers, suddenly shoving his fingers in your tiny mouth, making you gag but you suck nonetheless. He brings his fingers to his own mouth, licking your cum and moaning. âJust wanna fucking taste you.â
His eyes close as he delves into your pussy. He starts off slow, soft licks and nips of your already wet clit, you curl your toes, your vision becoming blurry due to the tears of pleasure but you can feel how fucking good heâs eating you out. His tongue laps at your clit, you whine and push his face closer, desperate for him to eat you out like itâs his last meal.
He kisses your folds, giving the delicate and wet skin a loud smooch before moving his lips and tongue at a pace that already has you crying out for him. Heâs moaning into you, the sensation causing a vibration within your folds. âSo fucking tasty.â He growls, the words muffled against your skin.
His nose presses against your pussy, you wrap your legs around his shoulders and he grips onto your ass, squeezing the flesh and giving it one compact spank before gripping onto your thighs, his grip so tight that youâre caged against him. His nails dig in and youâre sure heâs leaving harsh marks and your grip on his hair is so tight but neither of you care.
Your eyes roll back in pleasure and you the prettiest noises spill from your mouth when your climax hits, you squirt and drip all over your folds and he has every last bit of it, his lips lapping up your sticky wetness as if itâs a treat.
He leans back momentarily to appreciate the sight. Your hot cum leaking out of your tiny and tight hole, before he moves his tongue to lap up every last drop. It goes everywhere, all over his face, down his chin and neck but heâs grunting so loudly, begging you for more. âTaste so fucking good.â
âJaemin.â You moan out, thrusting your pussy against him and reaching for his hard cock, desperate to feel him where you want him most. âCome on!!!!â You cry out.
He tuts at your impatience, eyes soft as he looks into your teary ones. âYeah, yeah. Just be patient, baby.â His mouth pops, a sweet smile as you whimper at the use of the pet name, a sweet word said in such a mysterious and sensual way.
A realisation comes to you, have you even introduced yourself to him? Your mouth opens with a heavy moan when Jaeminâs eyes, dark and intense, locked with yours. You could hear the sound of his heavy breathing, a rhythmic echo that matched the quickening pace of your own heart.
You found yourself reacting instinctively. You bucked up slightly as Jaeminâs fingers deftly worked to loosen the belt around his jeans. Sliding it down his legs and tossing it far away.
Heâs so hard. You hold his massive cock in your hands, eyes wide and mouth watering at the sheer size of it. You can feel the firmness beneath your fingertips. As you roughly rub his cock, he groans and drops his head to your shoulder, allowing you to touch away. Your fingers glide over the length, he removes your hands and replaces his own, dropping down and aligning his cock with your tight hole. His mouth pressing against yours with an open mouthed kiss.
âIâm Y/N by the way.â You gulp, voice barely audible due to the fucked state that youâre in.
âI know.â He whispers back.
You hum. âI know your name.â He groans louder. âCan I call you baby?â He asks with a smirk, you donât know if heâs forgotten that he already has but his low and deep voice already has you weak in your knees so you nod enthusiastically.
âPlease.â You whimper, feeling so incredibly turned on right now.
He distracts you with sweet kisses to your cheeks, when his cock finally enters your pussy but youâre instantly crying out from overstimulation and sensitivity. Heâs so fucking big. You cry out when you realise heâs too big for you. You look down and the feeling of sadness intensifies when you realise only his tip has entered.
He coos in your ear, wiping your tears, holding your hand tightly in his and making the slightest of movements inside of you but you shake your head, a feeling that you canât describe overtaking you. âYouâre too big, it wonât fit. I canât take it.â You say with an adamance.
âIt will fit, baby.â He says simply, giving you a sweet smile and you get lost in his eyes, you find yourself instantly trusting him and it has you questioning yourself, you never trust this easily.
He kisses your temple softly, a tenderness that makes you whine and cry at the same time. You wrap your legs around his waist, craving the closeness. You nod, your doe eyes gazing into his as he makes you promises. âIt will all fit, I know Iâm big but Iâll make sure of it. I promise Iâll make you feel good, Iâll wonât hurt. Iâll go as slow as you want me to, ok?â His voice is filled with so much genuineness and by kindness that you find it impossible not to melt, your trust growing for him intensely.
He thrusts into you at a slow and sensual pace and before you know it, more and more of his length fills you up until you tighten around him, smiling at how fucking good and cosy it felt. âI told you baby, just trust me.â He smiles, looking down and cooing at the beautiful sight, your walls sucking him in and you tightening around him.
âYouâre such a good girl, baby.â He purrs into your ear as he fucks into you at a pace that made your head spin. It was suddenly so fast, the headboard banging, skin slapping against skin, his hands slapping your ass, heavy breathing, passionate moans concealed even though they didnât need to be, you had the house to yourself, however the two of you found comfort in smashing your lips against each other and moaning into each others mouths.
He fucks his cock deep into you hole, hitting your pleasure spot over and over again, your back arches, your toes curl and your pleasure pool deepens with every thrust. He wipes away your tears gently with his fingers, whispering words of praises that make you whine. The way heâs looking at you fucks your mind up and makes your head spin. His eyes are so soft and so piercing, you feel as though you donât deserve to be looked at with this tenderness.
However when you try to cover your eyes with your hands, he takes your arms and cages them above your head, shaking his head firmly and giving you a serious look, enough to tell you that he wants to look at you as he fucks you.
Your pussy tightens around him and he groans, your walls continuously clenching around his cock and sucking him in deeper. Your thighs shake around his waist and his hand thatâs slapping your ass becomes sloppier and slower. The noises of his cock fucking your wet and creamy cunt turns him on, the need to cum inside you deepening. His moans are more needy and the volume increases, his eyes darken in ways you didnât expect. Heâs pounding into you at an incoherent pace when he feels your high is near.
âCum in me.â You beg into his ear, panting heavily and he lets out a growl at your needy side.
âFuck, baby. Are you on the pill?â
You cry out, shaking your head when you remember heâs not even using protection, you were two horny sluts who forgot.
âFuck. I forgot to wear a condom.â He says in an apologetic voice.
âI donât care. Cum in me.â The words spill from your mouth so easily, you question whether you want to take it back but you take a look at him. His hair, a dark cascade, fell just above his dark and intense eyes and he hasnât broken eye contact with you, not once. His smile, so boyish and warm.
Yeah. Youâre definitely sure you want his cum in you.
His thrusts become slower and more messy but it still feels fucking good. He kisses you passionately when he cums, moaning against your mouth when you beg for his cum once again.
He fucks you through your high, you moan out his name as your hot cum leaks out of you but he fucks it back into you, his own cum coating your arousal, drops falling down your thighs and leaving a sticky mess. You look down and the sight is beautiful, you donât know where you start or where he ends.
He paints your walls as he sighs at the feeling. As Jaeminâs lips met yours, there was an immediate rush of warmth and desperation, a culmination of longing transformed into a single, fervent kiss. His lips moved against yours with a passion that spoke volumes, tender yet insistent, The kiss deepened, and you could feel the gentle pressure of his mouth, the soft brush of his breath against your skin.
âGood girl.â He whispers, pressing a soft kiss against your temple.
You fall asleep like that, in his strong arms and grip, his cock buried deep inside of you, thighs still sticky with cum and you know you needed to be cleaned up but as you lay on top of him, head resting against his chest, the lullaby of his heartbeat sends you to immediate sleep.
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comment to be added to the tag list for part 2!! (will be a 4 part series)
cast: heeseung â fem.reader (ft. the peeps, enhypen, and other idols)
synopsis: when you told your long-term rival and latest hook-up, heeseung, that you are pregnant with his child; you didn't expect said topic to be involved in your rivalry!
genre:Â romantic comedy, slice of life, coming-of-age, slow burn, drama, rivals since childhood to [redacted], college/university au, pregnancy au, future parents au, fluff, angst, mature content (explicit smut)
word count: 24199 (24.2k) out of 58k
warning(s): pregnancy (what did you expect?), so many curse words!, description of explicit sex (in a flashback sense), rough sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, manhandling, vomiting, mention of drugs (marijuana, alcohol), mention of blood, dark humor (if there is something that i forgot, let me know)
message of the moon: remember that this story is fiction and do be careful and read the warnings at the top. all the idols mentioned here are not what they are in real life.
first fic of 2024! i've ideated this since like 2022 and it's here what the heck!! this is part 1 of 2 of a 57k-58k word count one-shot (yes, this is supposed to be a one-shot) but tumblr hates me so i have to divide it into two. thanks for the 200+ notes on the teaser/character intro and i hope you enjoy it!
soundtrack (spoilers for part 2!) | part 2 coming next week (you wanna be tagged?)
prologue: a town called valentine
it was valentine 2002 when you and heeseung first met. well, if you consider babies who canât even talk to each other will know of each other. you have to thank both of your moms for thatâgetting pregnant around the same time and giving birth in the same year as well.
but the earliestâvividâmemory you have of him was on valentine 2005. you hid behind your mamaâs leg as she talked with someone: another adult. you glance around the outside space youâre in, the plants and pathway unknown to you as mama can see your eyes wander with your tiny mouth agape when you look past the other adult to recognize the widening door right beside them. you heard your mother giggling with the other person as they converse about something your 4-year-old mind wouldnât be able to understand.
â(y/n) sweetie! say hi to auntie.â your mama caresses your hair with her hand as she guides you to stand beside her, her hands moving behind your small set of shoulders before you. the small hands reached for one of hers, holding it tight as you stood beside her.
âhelloâŠâ you looked up to meet a beautiful woman. her eyes are wide as they remind you of the mother deer you last saw when you watched bambi with mama and papa. and you can feel a ticklish feeling inside you as you watch her eyes smiling softly at you. as she smiles at you softly.
âhello (y/n)! youâve grown so much since i last met you.â her hands give a wave, making you raise your hand up as you mirror her while you pick up your mamaâs chuckle. the lady moves back, extending her arm as you see a clean hallway full of photos on one side and a cabinet full of shoes on the other. some of them looking similar to your own shoe size.
âplease come inside. iâve set the toys so she can play with them if she wants.â the ladyâwell, auntieâsaid as your mama guided you inside with her trailing behind. sitting on the hidden seating area by the cabinet, she helps you take off your shoes before opening her hands to let you hold them. she lets you walk in front as both of you enter a big room with a sofa in front of a television. as per told by mama every time you enter someoneâs home: sit down beside mama or papa as you waited for the homeowner to guide you next. the back of the sofa is too tall for your height now and you let your hand graze against the side of the soft sofa when you encounter a large mat laid in between the sofa and the screen.
your brain tingles when you find a few toys you can nameâlike the ones you own back homeâwhile a few of them you donât recognize at all. eyes on the toys, you throw away whatever your mama has told you and tug her hand to let her know the existence of them. looking up, she looks down at you, glance at the pile of toys left behind, and gives nods, making you grin as you both sit on the playmat. your eyes immediately look at blocks stacked shaping like a house; its triangle roof, square walls, four windows, and door makes you easily imagine it. you crawl towards it and the box beside it, finding the other blocks left behind as you pull some of them out to make your own little house. as you slowly stack up the blocksâhearing the sound of wood tapping against each otherâyou heard the sound of giggling coming from behind the sofa.
âsorry, he just finished taking a bath.â auntie said to your mom who was behind you, walking closer to the sofa as you turned your head to face her. thatâs when you see another person walking into the room with a small pitter-patter heard behind them. the steps are getting louder and louder as you see a small figure enter the room, walking towards the person laughing. the person wipes his face with his small hand before pausing, turning his head to you.
âhi heeseung!â you heard your mama say as the boyâs laugh slows down and he looks at you and your mama. auntie, who now looks more like the bigger version of the boy, steps in to help him move and sit down beside you. you see him crouch down as you can see his face clearer. yet, his eyes wander on the house made of blocksâhis houseâand the house youâre making; wider by one block than his.
âthatâs (y/n). you were too young to remember but auntie and i always bring you two to playdates since youâre not even one year old. sheâs the same age as you.â you heard auntie say as you felt your mama help you to scoot closer. his hand reaches for the box of blocks as you place the final block on your house while heâs pulling out more blocks. you look at the boyâs action as you feel mama, with her larger hand, holding onto your smaller one. your palm is now open as you see heeseung was told to do the same by his mom, putting away the blocks on the mat. your hands meet each other as you say your name. mama helps in closing your fingers, wrapping your hand in his as he follows.
âmy name is (y/n).â the boyâs hand also uses the same force when you shake it. both women let go of their childrenâs hands as both of your little hands are floating, connected, and shaking. your eyes meet his as he looks back at the two houses made of blocks.
âmy name is heeseung.â he smiles.
-
1. stay soft, silly
the way the corner of his mouth twitches makes you think outside of the plan you are executing now, nearly done in telling him what he needs to know.
your hands rested on top of your stomach, feeling a little bulge that was not there a month ago. his ice americano contrasts with your hot jasmine tea as you sit across from each other. years upon years of history went on pause for this moment. for a truce that you are proposing.
âand theyâre mine?â heeseung sounded. your eyebrows folded, looking down at the swollen part beneath your stomach as you pouted your lips, holding back your giggling as you glanced back at him.
âi havenât had sex with anyone this past month besides you. so, yeah. the baby is yours.â
itâs funny, you see. with the amount of carefulness you and your friends have taught you of the college hook-up culture you got roped into, you never expected to hook up with your rival. yet tension does what tension does, and it snaps as you both stumbled to kiss each other.
when it comes to your ârelationshipâ with heeseung, the closest to a positive one was when you were in kindergarten, as youâve known him before by the amount of playdates both of your mothers set up.
little did they know that one time at a playground during one of those playdates, you were left alone to play with your sandcastles as heeseung ventured to play with the other boys, running around the sandpit playing tag and how you see the familiar little jeans pants walks in front of you, knocking the castle down and flying the specks of sand to your face with your slower reaction speedâbecause of your younger ageânot making you close your eyelids quicker. your eyes watering as you wail out, getting the attention of your mama but not the jean-wearing boyâs attention as you hear his mom telling him to stop. apologizing is simple for your younger self, just a plain âsorryâ is okay. but when lee heeseungâwho you consider your friend at that timeâsaid âsorryâ with a grin on his face, you caught onto the impression that he was not sorry at all.
at age 7, you came back from the cafeteria to your class to find heeseung and his gang of boys pulling on a girlâs hair, the familiar sadness showing on her face as you caught her eyes. youâve known that theyâve played âdirtyâ and have been teasing other girls in your class beforeâjust not you, which is strange in itself. with a tense set of hands, you push the boys away with your might and stand in between them, helping the girl who cowers behind you. you look down to watch heeseung on the floor, teeth showing and face crunched as he sees the scratch from when you pushed him near his elbow.
âwhat was that for?â
âto stop you. she doesnât like it.â
one of his boys helps to pick him up on his feet as you can see him limping. your arms still wide as you protect the girl as best as you can. he pushes his sweaty bangs off his face as you can define the same gaze he had given you when you were 5 at the playground, now fiery. and you exude the same thing with your glare as you see the other boys helping carry him out to the nurse's office, his eyes staying on yours as you feel the girlâs hand holding you back from not walking after him again.
stickers become score markers as you and he tried to compete to get the most out of them, which comes with being nice and clever during classes. you were 10 when you had the same class as him once again, having to compete to be the quickest when raising your hands. but also the lowly giggles you give each other as you both realize just how wrong each otherâs answers that comes with the teasing annoyance. it also comes in gym class as the teacher divided you up into different teams during team gamesâbasketball being the most competitive as you are familiar with it. heeseung doesnât hesitate to run towards you if you have a ball and try to dribble it across the court, pulling it as you try to pass it to your teammate, resulting in a tug-of-war where you both just donât want to let it go. even with the whistling from the teacher as one teammate gets a hold of it to continue the game, you instead continue to have a screaming match with him.
it continues through middle school as you remember him not hesitating with his power to slam his dodgeball at your stomach during another gym class, making you curl up on the floor as your friends help you to the nurse's office, hearing him screaming âthatâs what you get from stealing my lunchâ as you remembered the taste of the chocolate bread you pick up from his tray yesterday. at high school as you and him argue in front of the vice principal about each of your clubâs fundings, him with his basketball club who is already so successful with their winnings money that they canât seem to let go to help other clubs who are staying afloat. even with your school having pride in the basketball team and other sports club achievementsâmaking it a staple for the students to watch at least one game during their high school years. you never went to one as you rather babysit your neighborâs kid for money than watch heeseungâs smug smile as he won another mvp trophy for that tournament.
when college came and you got into hybe uni as a business major, you didnât expect to see heeseung on campus. youâve known that since he focuses more on basketball in middle school, you are winning when it comes to academics. but when his smirking face tells you he got into hybe with a full scholarship because of basketball, your heart plummets into the fathoms. you were glad that heâs not in the same faculty as you, but the college environment is so small that your acquaintances recognize each other. you canât seem to stay away from him who still has his smart for balancing his gpa and non-academic activities.
so when your lips met his own as you sobered up after having the party busted by the police, your mind is telling you to out-better him in lust and pleasure.
âwho can make each other cum the most? never thought of you as that filthy, (l/n)â
the grip of his hair on your hand tightens as he trails his own to get a grip of yours. both of your heads now straight as you canât look away from each other even if you want to.
âi take that youâre saying that because you donât know how to make girls cum with your dick, lee.â you chuckled. heeseungâs gaze is still meeting yours as he pushes your head forward, making your forehead touch his as he mumbles something only you can hear.
âi know i can make you cum on my dick just by the way youâre clenching your thighs, baby. how do we tally the score?â
âstart a kiss on the lips when you know you canât hold back?â
âdeal.â
âby the way, who won?â heeseung asked, leaning his body forward on the table as you peer down at his position from you, holding yourself as you stretch your back to help with the pain.
âhow many times did you cum? and donât fucking lie.â
heeseungâs bed is rocking beneath you as he folds you up in half, your knees on either side of you as he pounds into you. gasps fall out of your mouth as you pull on his hair, something you realize he likes after the amount of groan coming out of him from when you tug him. praises come out of your mouth as you try every method you can to turn him on first; to make him cum first. but the way he is pushing down on your abdomen makes you clench harder.
âlook at how youâre clenching onto me. youâre close, arenât you?â he whispered as you felt the breeze blowing onto your saliva-stained neck you are certain had hickeys on it. heeseung had to remind himself that he couldnât kiss your lips, no matter how delectable they were, changing to kissing your neck.
ân-â you moan as heeseungâs hand traces down to grip your ribcage, pulling you closer to him so he could find another angle to reach you deeper, pleasuring you both in return. âno.â
âdonât lie to me, (y/n).â his head pulls back from your crook as you watch his bangs faltering from the hard pounding to his mattress. âgod, youâre so fucking hot when youâre under me.â
âfuck, just like that.â you retaliate with your own dirty talk, hands holding his waist so he could stay longer in your cavern as you grip him. but when you sense his breath against your skin, nose upon nose touching, the grip on his waist trails up as you cup his face. nodding your head as you feel him getting faster, you pull his head down and make his lips meet yours. you bit your bottom lip as your muffled moans vibrated between the two of you. your body giving up for a moment as he continued to thrust into you, making you let go as you let out a silent scream when you felt the moist gushing against him inside you. heeseungâs lips are unhesitant to kiss between your eyebrows as your body calms down from shaking, eyes rolling back to their original place as you continue to caress his cheekbone before a surge of energy comes back to you. you push him to the side, placing him down on the mattress as your hands grab both of his wrists to rest beside his head.
âi can feel you twitching inside me, hee. i know youâre close,â you said as you bounce on his lap, feeling the way your essence fell out and how much slick is on his penis because of you. as you have the upper hand, you decide to tease him by falling on him slower than the pace you have familiarized, making his wrists flinched under your hold as you click your tongue.
âyou like how my walls are sucking you?â
âfuck, yes,â he mumbled under his breath.
âyeah..?â you replied as you leaned forward, making heeseung reach up to kiss your areola as best as he could.
âcome on. you donât wanna cum again?â heeseung asked in such a whiny voice that makes you snicker at how needy he has become. you decide to continue your teasing when you trail your nose along his face as you give a tiny kiss underneath his earlobe where you see the hickey you made on his clavicle. you move your hips so slowly as you feel how he becomes more erect even when heâs inside you.
âyouâre the one who denies it yourself. iâm currently helping you here.â you poke your tongue and trace down his adamâs apple to his chest, reaching his nipple and giving it a suck. heeseungâs hip shoots up into you as he wants to take control. your hand moving closer to his palm with the grip that is getting loose as he pushes both his arms to let go of your hold. yet, you pull them back up as you reposition your fingers to interlock with his, withholding what he wants to make you move faster as he thrusts up into you.
you stare at how his doe-like eyes are begging for you after the number of times you have hated and feared the same eyes. how it glistens with tears because of how uncooperative you are even with your pace getting faster. with that, you lean forward as you stretch his hands and place them on your moving hips, letting them go so he can grip it hard as he tries to chase that feeling once again. you drape yourself above him as his blown-out eyes stare right at yours, his orange fiery flame meeting your own blue.
leaning forward more as you sensed one of his hands resting on your back, you brush away his hair that is sticking on his forehead as you whispered the death blow.
âyou can cum in me-â
he leans up to connect your lips with his as you understand the signal, making your hips help to stimulate him more. his tongue flicking out and even wetting the skin around your lips as he moans out your name, letting out an exhale as your forehead is on his.
âwant to breed youâŠâ he whispered as you nodded, knowing just how much you like cum staining your walls as you give him a peck.
âbreed me then.â
as he spoke to you about when he cums in your walls cowgirl style, you couldnât help but snicker at the memories of his newly known breeding kink and your own creampie kink makes the resulting bun in your oven, making him flick your hand as you stare at him.
âthatâs one for you and one for me- what are you thinking?â the way his voice pitches up at the end of the question makes you giggle even more.
âi swear-â you lean forward as you realize the stage you are in, âthe way our kinks create them,â you point down to your stomach.
âwith the way your body shivers when i cum in you,â he said as he also leans forward. âi knew you like it. but i didnât realize how feral you got because of that.â
âhow feral we got, heeseung. fucking correct that.â
âoh fuck!â you moaned out into the mattress as heeseung held your hips up when he thrusts back into you from behind. you can sense how every time he pounds into you, his release is coming out alongside him as the wet clapping noises penetrate even the sound of both the cricketing bed frame and both of your moans. his hand goes up to your head and pulls your hair as the other pushes against your stomach, making you bend back towards him as the moans you let out of your mouth are clearer. his lips sucking another hickey onto your shoulder as you lean your head back on him to widen his access. your hands gripping onto both of the hands that are now resting on your abdomen and one on your breast, respectively.
âwho can make you feel like this?â the question triggering you right away.
ây-you.â
âsay my name, baby,â he said as he kissed your cheeks, making you turn your head towards the side as you opened your eyes to meet his, continuing to pleasure you into oblivion.
âheeseungâŠâ
âgo on.â he squeezed your flesh and you bit your bottom lip.
âheeseung!â
the hand on your abdomen leaves to crawl to your nub as your free hand reaches up to his nape, letting you connect your lips with his as best as you can. your body doing gymnastics before it is overcome by your second wave of cum when heeseung stops and twist your upper body to connect both of your lips fully. with his hands enveloping you, you push both of your body down as you let him spoon you.
grinding your hips against him, you reached down to gather both your cums as you give it a lick, making heeseung groan as he helps you push against him. âfuck, (y/n), how are you still so tight?â
âonly for you-â you reply as you shift away, just wanting to kiss heeseung, but then you remember the rules. with your shoulder, you push heeseung so he lays back on the bed as you lie on top of him. your knees folding so you can put your heels on the mattress as you lift yourself up and down on his shaft. you push your hands against is so you can sit and let you see the messiness yourself: both of your thighs are now covered in whiteness as you continue, realizing how sticky your skins are against each other. instead of letting you observe the messiness, heeseung pulls your upper body back to his as he also folds his knees and pushes his heels to the bed, thrusting upwards and making the pace quicker.
both of your moans combine with each other as he rests his arms around your midriff so you canât move away from him. your head tilts to look behind you at the way heeseung is closing his eyes. as the point of your nose touches his skin, he doesnât hesitate to turn to you and brought your lips onto his as he gives a few sputtering thrusts before you felt him cumming in you once again, making you fuller than ever.
âand thatâs another two for each of us,â you replied as heeseung let out a snicker.
âstill a tie, huh?â
âyeah, but we decided on a tiebreaker, right?â he responded with a hum.
with how sweaty, sticky, and tired you both are, you decide to do a tiebreaker with you sitting on his lap in a lotus position. your breath meeting his as both of you work in tandem (with a little burst exerted once in a while) to make any of you cum first and declare to be the winner of this messed-up game you made. heeseung licks the skin below your neck and plays with your breasts as you let your fingers experiment with his nipples and the way your nails scratch against his back muscles. you know that both of you are exhausted because the only sound that comes out is the small moans and whines left over. you looked down to see the messy environment you made between both of your crotches, making you scoop it up as you lift your cum-covered forefinger to your mouth, sucking it in, before pulling heeseungâs head so you can let him taste both of you.
his wide eyes glance up at you as he puts on a show to make you turn on more, swirling his tongue around your middle finger as the hand that was holding your shoulder blade reaches to your face, making his thumb pressing against your bottom lip so you can suck it. your hips grind on him faster, bouncing a few times, as both of your moans are muffled by both of your fingers. pulling your finger back, a string of saliva connected it and his lips as you cup his cheek. heeseung bites his lip as he pulls the thumb out to see your swollen lips. as you stare at each otherâthinking back to the past few hours that have gotten you here in this positionâyou sense something strange within you. something so unfamiliar when you stare at him than the other moments you blatantly glare towards him. with the way he glances around your face as he connects your forehead with his, you recognize he might have sensed the same things too.
you donât remember who is the first one to reach out, but as both of your lips connect, you let yourself envelop him as he did you. both of you not stopping and helping each other out as both of you cum in quick succession. not letting go of each otherâs lips as you both pull away slowly; looking at the string of saliva connecting both of you as you stare at each other.
âwe donât need to discuss that.â
âno, we donât,â
both of you replied right after the other as you see heeseung looking away from you to glance at the window beside the table. you glance at the condensation forming on the glass of his americano before glimpsing towards the booth where he sat. a duffle bag beside his backpack; you guess it will be for his basketball practice, it is near the college basketball season after all. but as you glance up at the man himselfâyou notice how different he has been since you were children. the way he muscled up and the baby fat on his face sheds away from the amount of sports he has to consume weekly. but, with all the invisible scars you both inflicted on each other from then until now, you weigh in just how ridiculously complex your relationship is that you donât know if he wants to agree with it or not.
âwell, now that you knowâŠâ you started, rubbing your hand against your sweater paws, âyou donât have to contribute to their life.â
heeseung hums, turning back to look towards you with confusion written on his face.
âitâs okay if you donât want to get involved in taking care of them. itâs hard enough to be a senior-year college student, let alone raising a baby. itâs my choice to keep them, so i have to take responsibility for that.â you grabbed the now lukewarm cup of tea as you take a sip from it, placing it gently on the small plate as you continued with, âespecially knowing how complicated we are.â you use your forefinger to point between him and you.
the manâs face is hard to read. he jutted his lips, biting the inside of his cheek as you see him blink whilst looking towards you, trying to get a read on you as well. being 8 weeks pregnant, you just wanted the meeting to end because you have all the other things you need to organize: telling the girls about your pregnancy diets and symptoms, telling the university about them and maybe they could give you leeway with the tests and studies, setting up appointments for with the ob-gyn and the doula of your choice, and telling your parents.
your parents who knew heeseungâs parents.
this will be awkward as fuck to experience.
âand i wish we could have a truce for the next 40 weeks.â you said, already with an exasperated voice that seemed to even surprise heeseung. âwith this lifelong rivalry going on and how both of us doesnât even want it to stop, please just⊠give me a slack to take care of them as best as i could.â
when you expected heeseung to reply with an okayâknowing your status as an expecting mother to at least give you some slackâyou were met with a piercing gaze instead. how he looks between your face and your hidden stomach behind the table. he rests his hand on the table when you watch him considering something, and you didnât even fucking guess he will do what he does.
âno.â
âwhat?â
âno. thereâs no truce.â he leans forward, recognizing the gaze in his eyes as you just want to punch it out of his face for even thinking about what heâs thinking.
âno fucking way youâre thinking about this.â
âwhy not, (y/n)? think you canât take care of yourself enough for the baby?â
your palm is now against your forehead, brushing against your face as it trails down when you let out a groan, âyouâre trying to make a rivalry on taking care of this babyâŠâ you let out your guess as heeseung lets out his signature smirk and a voiceless âbingoâ.
âhow? theyâre in me, heeseung.â
âby giving them good nutritious food, interacting with them, i donât know. but i know from knowing you for years that you canât take care of yourself, knowing you have three other roommates-â
âyou also have three other fucking roommates. sheesh.â you shake your head as you lean back. âanything for the baby has to go through me first, you know? i can deny it if i want.â
âthen we can argue whoâs right. theyâre my baby too and i have the right to be involved even if you donât want to.â your phone vibrates after heeseungâs brash reply as you see the silent alarm of your next schedule of the day. you tug the strap of your bag to your shoulder and gulp the rest of your tea.
âwhatever, i have another thing to do.â
âdoes it involve the baby?â
âno. unless you wanna join my research class.â
you stood up from the booth as you straightened your sweater down, making heeseung glance at your abdomen before looking back at your face. âjust so you remember: iâm doing this for the baby, not you.â
rolling your eyes, you flip him the bird as you walk away from him to your only class of the day, making heeseung let out a strangled smile.
-
âwhat the- what do you mean?â
the game continues as the other three guys look towards heeseung who is obliterating them with his king dedede, the sound of the fighting comes from the tv of their living room apartment as his fingers nimbly move on the switch controller, making the other three characters fly from the platforms as the familiar âgame!â announcement calls.
the boys are sitting in various ways; beomgyu and jeongin are on the floor and jimin is beside him. the soundtrack of the super smash bros ultimate is playing in the background as heeseung smiles.
âiâm gonna be a dad.â
jeongin, the closest to the main port of the switch, quits the game as beomgyu lets out another loud shoutâoutside of the gameâand jimin, who is sitting besides him, shakes his body with outstretched arms.
âBROOO!â beomgyu rubs his hand across his long hair as he faces heeseung fully, who is regretting not recording the reaction of his best buddies about this.
âhow does heeseung, who doesnât even like hooking up, get someone pregnant?â jimin asks to himself but also to the others as jeongin now stands in front of him, shielding the tv from his sight.
âforget that. who did you knock up, lee heeseung?â jeongin cuts through as heeseung leans back against the headrest of the couch. a mix of expressions showing on his face cause he doesnât know if he has to laugh, be angry, be sad, or what else. he lets out a sigh as he picks the right voice tone to tell them.
âitâs fucking (y/n).â
âokay, now hold on!â
jeongin jumps, shedding the stern aura that he just created a few seconds ago. heeseung glances down at beomgyu who has his jaw dropped with jimin gripping on heeseungâs shoulder very hard.
âSINCE WHEN DID YOU TWO HOOK U-â
âshush!â jimin stands up and covers his hand on jeonginâs mouth, not wanting another complaint from the neighbors both horizontally and vertically.
âwhen?â beomgyu asked jeonginâs questions concisely as heeseung glanced towards the sofa and the kitchen right beside the front door of their apartment.
âyou remember the party that got busted by the police?â
âyoon keehoâs party?â
âyeah, that one.â jimin acknowledges beomgyuâs answer as heeseung continues.
âlong story short, (y/n) was alone and i went past her, teasing her for seeing that her friends left her behind when the police showed. she was tipsy which she shows by how easily stumbles. so i dragged her with me to our apartment when we escaped. i donât know where you guys were, but sheâs gotten a bit too annoying so i have to sober her up. we talked, and the tension was just tooâŠâ heeseung remembers as he was the one reaching for your face, to tell you to shut the fuck up, but the tension melted away before both of you proposes the game that you did. âso, we did it. and she asked me to meet up this morning and told me the news.â
âand what are your thoughts?â jimin asks, making the high-stakes emotions lower as he lets his friend talk about what he is feeling.
well, for heeseung, shock was an understatement. when he heard you utter the three words to him as he asked you what makes you want to meet up, never did he expect that to come out. surely, he has a breeding kink, and he had expected that to happen. but you told him youâre leaving early to get a plan b pill. maybe it didnât work, but he doesnât want to assume much about your body. then, he can sense the hidden sheer happiness blossoming within him. he wanted to smile and give you a hug, but then he remembered that it was you. that outside of his bed that night, you didnât see him as a friend.
for someone who doesnât hook up with people, heeseung knows how the hook-up culture works. he had heard multiple women fucking his three roommates from within his room and he could use his noise-canceling headphones against them. people might presume he is pickyâa basketball jock who stays hidden and doesnât want to hook up with anyone unlike his younger teammatesâbut the level of comfort is different when he has to do it with someone he doesnât know and thatâs why he rather stayed away. you? well, you are an anomaly.
though close because of your upbringing, he doesnât know you outside of what he knows. that you were the kid who broke his truck even after he said sorry for ruining your sandcastle at that playground. that you were the kid who pushed him to the floor back when you were 7. that youâre the girl who he competes with to get the most stickers and not letting go of the basketball even though he stole it from you correctly. that he saw you stealing the bread from his tray as he came back from the vending machine. that you were the one telling the vice principal his basketball club doesnât need as much money as they do because of their successful run, not knowing that their assistant coach stole the winning money.
so when you decide to create walls from your words, try to spin it so he doesnât have to care about his baby, he had to say no. itâs as if youâre trying to keep the baby to yourself and not letting him in even though it takes two to tango. so, he found the most relevant way: competing for who takes care of that baby the right wayâeven if theyâre in you. he doesnât even think far from that thought no matter how ridiculous it is as now he realizes what a logistical nightmare itâs going to be.
âyouâre making a game out of taking care of your own child but not your baby mama?â jeongin questioned after hearing heeseungâs rambling about this.
âyupâŠâ heeseung paused, a pregnant pause. âand i need all of your help.â
jiminâs face changes as he hears the way heeseung described his face, rubbing his palm against the creases forming on his forehead as he canât comprehend how beomgyu easily accepts his role. jiminâs head perks up at heeseung calling his name.
âyo!â jimin replied.
âsince youâre the only one out of us who has a direct connection to (y/n) through chaeryeong, youâll be my eyes, okay? asked about (y/n), how sheâs doing, and all that stuff.â heeseung nodded as he expectantly looked at the boy who stood beside jeongin.
âgotcha,â he replied, his eyes wide as heeseung turned towards jeongin.
âinnie, youâre my source. find any article about pregnancy and what my role is gonna be as a dad. yadda yadda yadda. all that stu-â
âi do you one better, seung.â jeongin said as heeseung lifted his eyebrows at him, tilting his head.
âmy mom is an ob-gyn doctor.â
-
âmiss (y/n)!â
âwear this!â
there is sounds of pitter-patters all around you as you sense the weight getting heavier on your figure. a small cape hanging off your shoulders and a crooked crown on your head, you sit down cross-legged against a round table full of toy food and kitchen utensils. girls and boys alike sit on the chairs by the table with their own capes and crowns, playing around with their cups as they all have a tea partyâwith the other side of the room playing with legos.
âhere is your tea and cake.â you see the girl beside you giving the plate of rubber cake and an empty tea cup.
âthank you, princess rami.â picking up the teacup into your hand, you let out a loud slurping noise to drink it, before flinching away as you fan your tongue.
âiâm so sorry. is it too hot?â rami asked as you shook your head.
âiâm okay. thank you for asking,â you replied as best as you could.
âyou must be careful, princess rami.â the boy across from her spoke as you tilt your head to him.
âiâm alright. prince yujin. i will be more careful with the tea.â he gave out a smile as one girl called out.
âif we are all princes and princesses, how should we call miss (y/n)?â hyunseo asked across from you.
âwell, miss (y/n) should be a queen!â woonhak replied enthusiastically.
âbut if miss (y/n) is a queen, should she have a king?â hyunseo continued.
âor another queen. i have two queens at home.â yujin filled in as you gave off a smile with the implication. but then the kids started to bicker with each other as you looked around the room once again.
as you entered high school, you were determined to beat heeseung in another way other than school-related activities. and what other way by being independent and richer than him at a young age? so you raked your head of a simple work that can help you gain more pocket money when one of your aunts asks you if you can babysit their daughter and how she will pay you. seizing the opportunity, you get to take care of your baby niece as you go to your auntâs home to help her with her food and stuff. hearing your enjoyment by the dining room table, your mom suggests more opportunities to babysit children of your family members from both sidesâto your youngest uncleâs 4-year-old son and your oldest cousinâs 6-month-old babyâyou have an array of skills gotten from doing childcare as your mom recommend you to babysit her juniorsâ children at work, making you who wanted it for the money now wants it for the children.
it needs a certain level of charisma to charm a child so they can listen to you and with the array of children you had to babysit, youâve met and adapted as best as you can to all of them. from being the calm tutor for a baby who is training his motor skills to help a child practice balancing on a bicycle, you understand what a child wants under their tantrums. that love you give and the love you accept makes you want to contribute more to childcare. so you started volunteering in non-formal schools and orphanages, helping to at least make their days a little better. and thatâs why you worked part-time as a daycare attendant since you entered university as it is a more established institution where you can shuffle your study schedule alongside your work schedule, meeting kids who are being sent here that are still younger than school age. it reminded you of your own childhood and youâre hoping that your inner child could be happy and satisfied that you let her feel that feeling again.
âguysâŠâ your spoken voice cuts their conversations, and they all turn to you. âa queen doesnât have to have a king or another queen by their side. a queen can stand alone too.â
âbut wouldnât that make the queen lonely?â rami questioned, making you pout your lips as you still canât comprehend just how blatantly honest children are that it pierces through each layer of your heart to find the right spot.
âyes, the queen will be lonely. but she also has her princes, princesses, knights, counselors, and more around her. love doesnât always come from one person, it can also come from a group.â you replied, making the group rowdy up as they converse about love and being independentâwell, âlonelyâ as they called itâwhen you feel a light pat on your shoulder.
turning your head, you see a younger girl other than those around the table holding a paper, stretching it towards you.
âfor you, miss (y/n)âŠâ
you slowly pick the paper from her small hands as you observe the drawing. a simple figure made of circles and triangles with different colors. a pink filled-in shape on one side of the triangle with the circle-shaped and another taller one holding the figures hand, a yellow crown-shaped drawing on top of a circle with a smiling face inside.
she drew you.
âawww. this is so sweet and nice.â you return to look at the younger girl, a warm smile showing on your face, âthank you, hyein.â you rub your hand on her hairâsomething you remember she likesâas her smile widens before she runs away towards her table, where she has a few more papers scattered.
you glance at her before looking at your own stomach, unconsciously rubbing it as you can feel your own child inside you now growing along with time. then, it all came so suddenly when you felt yourself regurgitating, hand coming up to your mouth as you stood up as fast as you could towards the staff bathroom. knocking open the door of the open stall, you kneeled down as you puke out your lunch for today, feeling your gag reflexes kicking in. you sensed a hand soothing down your back as you reached for the flush to drain it down the toilet bowl.
âyou okay, (y/n)?â you hear the familiar voice of your supervisor, yoonah, behind you. nodding your head, you reach for the toilet paper and tear it apart as you wipe the remains and saliva off your lips. reaching for the crown that fortunately doesnât fall when you puke your inside, you hold on to it as you stand up and veer around to the sink to clean your mouth, gargling and spitting out as you wipe the droplets of water from your lips.
âhow is it going with the pregnancy?â she asked as you watched her reflection behind yours in the mirror. you nodded your head and chuckled.
âdidnât vomit for the past three days and i thought that was enough, and well, here i am.â you stare at your face, seeing your eyes glistening with tears with the number of times you had to cough out until your phlegm came out. you turn your head to face your boss as she gives you a solemn smile.
âso, i have already talked to hr and we agree to have you reduce your work day to just one per week. you can enter anytime between the weekdays depending on your schedule because you have lots of things to juggle with your ob-gyn appointment. we donât want to weigh you down more.â
you looked sideways when yoonah didnât seem to see you being glad of it. though it helps with not exerting your bodyâas per doctor parkâs requestâit will definitely reduce your money because of the appointments and others. you havenât told your parents yet and maybe you can ask them for more money after but with the way your friends have already helped ease your part of the rent so you have enough money for your own diet and consultations; you donât want them to provide more for you.
âthatâs great and all, but what about my pay? can it be adjusted? it doesnât have to be 200%. like, do I only work one day for a pay of two like usual? or is it the regular one day pay? if itâs the latter, maybe a 25% increase will be great? for the consultations and othersâŠâ you said, not realizing that you had a few stray tears leaving out your eyes. nice fucking job, hormones.
yoonah picks up the crown from your head and she places it above your head, straightening it up as it rests right at the top of your head, âi will take about it to hr. you know that iâm on your side with this.â she pats your shoulder as you let out a faint âthank youâ and see her walking away out of the bathroom. you brushed the tears away as you wet your hands to help unswollen them, even if it is for a bit. staring at yourself in the mirror, you pull your body up straight as you turn sideways, rubbing your abdomen as you can feel the life being put into you; piece by piece, cell by cell, forming into a human being.
as your feet enter the room one by one, tons of footsteps greet you as you look down to see the crown-wearing kids you are playing tea time with approaching you. their faces showing weariness so explicitly that you feel your heart tugging at them.
âare you ok, miss (y/n)?â hyeinâthe first one to be thereâspoke as she was surrounded by kids taller and older than her. you notice someone holding onto your hand with their tiny one, seeing rami brushing the skin as you feel soothed.
âi am now. thank you, hyein,â you replied, letting your body fall as you kneeled before them, seeing the number of children you have taken care of for the years you had worked here. in your mind, it seemed ridiculous to think of your next move, but in a way that they have taught you so much about taking care of others, itâs proper to tell them yourself.
wiping the corner of your eyes as you feel your hormones acting up again, you speak, âwhat do you know about your moms?â
âmommy is very sweet to me,â hyunseo replies as she steps forward to stand next to hyein, their height difference looking so cute.
âmom is the one that picked me up from here.â woonhak also replied when you can see his momâs smile on his own from the number of times she picked him up and showed that same smile.
âboth of my mamas are the best in taking care of me and my brothers.â yujin added as there were more children rambling about their mothers, creating a wall of cacophony that seemed more like the background noise you heard each week as you worked. their voices dwindled as you looked expectantly at them one by one, a smile urging them to wait for something to come out of you.
âwell, you see, iâm going to be just like your moms.â
yujin was the one that caught on first as he stepped closer and hugged you. while the others still looked confused, he turned around to looked at them and state it himself.
âMISS (Y/N) IS GOING TO BE A MOM!â
âmiss (y/n)!â
âno wa-â
you heard the surge of children hugging you as you laughed out loud, seeing yoonah by the door as she also followed your laughter while you were surrounded by the children who were either hugging you or asking you questions.
âsettle down, children. miss (y/n) needs a space to take a breather.â yoonah spoke up as she approached you who has a grin on your face.
âyou said that you donât have any king or queen?â yujin said as you felt your cheeks getting warmer, he now held onto the crown that slipped down your head from the number of kids that is surrounding you. while you could feel a hand on your stomach as you looked down to see hyein sitting downâremembering that she also has a pregnant mother with a little sibling on the way for her.
âit, it will be hard for me to explain it to you, butâŠâ you felt yoonahâs hand on your shoulder as you glance at the closest clock in the roomâfinding the time for them to go home has come. âyour moms are waiting for you to go home.â
you push yourself up to stand as yoonah guides the kids to pick their items up by the cabinets as you stand up straight, seeing the children walking around you when you see rami stepping beside you, arms wide open as you crouch down to give her a hug. you felt other sets of arms surrounding you as you giggled, pulling away your arms as the children noticed it.
âiâll see you all next week!â you stated as yoonah brought all of them to the door of the daycare before opening them, seeing all of them going to their respective parents and guardians as a few of them acknowledged you. you turned around as you started your usual clean-up process, picking up the drawings that the children made and putting them in their own folders so you can give them to their guardians when they graduated, putting back the toys into the boxes, returning the costumes back to the wardrobe as you place the robe and crown you were also wearing, and you wanted to do one more thing, but you heard someone clearing their throat.
âiâll clean the furniture and floor. you have done so much and you needed to eat and rest.â yoonah told you as you sighed, knowing that you seemed to be hungrier after you vomited out your food.
âthanks, boss.â you winked as she chuckled, bringing yourself to the staff room with the drawing that hyein gave to youâpinning in your mind to collect it with the drawings the kids youâve taken care has made for you.
when collecting your things into your backpack, you glance at the paper that you printed out from your laptop as you scan the words, seeing your inked signature on the bottom as you see the blank space with the name right across from yours. heeseungâs name.
since he decided to be involvedâyou remembered while you talked to your faculty about your pregnancy and how they asked who the dad was, you decided to bring him up as a âstudent from another faculty.â it might make him think twice if he wants to be involved or not because he will get his name pin up on a note somewhere, which will be noted to his coach, lecturers, and more of his status. you are ready to be mentally burnt by the judgment your peers might give you, but is heeseung also ready?
you havenât thought of the way youâre going to give heeseung the letter when you see minjeongâs name from your vibrating phone as you pick up the things you are bringing home and you hear yoonah talking as she sees you already leaving.
âcarpool picking you up?â
âyeah, my roommate and her boyfriend.â
âokay, take care of yourself and iâll follow up with your request.â you felt yoonah giving you a side hug as you gave a smile and wave when you pushed the door open. you breathed in the outside air to see the dark gray chevrolet camaro parked near the front of the building. walking to the back seats, you opened the door to be met with the music playing as minjeong greeted you.
âhowâs work, (y/n)?â she instantly asked as sungchan lurched the car to a drive when you glanced at the bags of things beside you.
âfreaking embarrassing. i vomited suddenly when i hadnât vomited for the last 3 days but the kids reacted to it pretty okay. and i told them iâm gonna be a mom.â
âthatâs so sweet!â she said, glancing back from her seat in front of you as she reached to touch you, making you sit in the middle with the console right in front of you as you see sungchanâs playing with the volume of bluetooth-connected car radio play the song that sounds so minjeongâwhich you can recognized right away.
âwhat did you guys do today?â you wiggled your eyebrows as you heard sungchanâs laugh from the way he looked at you from the rear-view mirror.
âyou know what me and jeongie usually do, eat, shop, fuck, repeat-â
âno, we didnât fuck today-â
âwe did a quickie before we left to pick (y/n) up, winter.â
âokay! ughhhâŠâ minjeong said, rubbing her face in embarrassment before replying, âi brought him to this cafe that has all these criterion collections that arenât available on any of the streaming services we own. so i bought so many dvds for us to watch.â
âwhich are?â
âolder movies, foreign movies. you did say that you enjoyed watching japanese movies, so i bought some of them for us to watch.â
âfuck, i love you so much for that, kim minjeong.â you replied as you heard sungchanâs little tsk, making you both giggle as his possessiveness is showing at the most ridiculous time.
âso, (y/n),â you hummed to sungchanâs starter words, âyou havenât told me who is your baby daddy.â
âguess!â you tugged yourself forward as your face was between their seats.
âhow should i guess when i never see you hook up with people?â he replies as you glance at minjeong who is just watching him, an amused smile on her face.
âwhat if i say itâs song eunseok,â you mentioned his fellow frat bros.
âeunseok is dating that junior of his he has classes with. and heâs a loyal guy so i donât think so.â
âwhat about park jisung? heâs hot in my eyes.â
âyou donât seem to be the kind to hook up with your junior,â he replied, making you squint your eyes.
âzhong chenle? heâs a fellow biz major like i do.â
âyouâre definitely not his style.â
ânow, thatâs rude.â you hunch yourself back on the back seat as minjeongâs giggles compete with the music playing.
âyouâre gonna be so shocked if we told you who he is.â she added as you nodded along, âtwo hints though: heâs our age and heâs a fellow jock-â
âthatâs too much, jeong-ah.â you cover her mouth as her muffled nagging rings in the car. you can feel her lapping your palm, tickling your nerves and making you pull away as itâs now sungchanâs turn to have a giggling fit while watching his girlfriend and her roommate bickering. the trip was close between the daycare you work and the apartment tower you rented off-campusâbut since youâve mentioned to your roommates that youâve been having back pain and vomiting sessions, they decided to help you out by being by your side as they drop you off or picking you upâjust like what chaeryeong did as she drop you off to work before going to the dance studio.
so, when you stare out to see the small lobby of your apartment, youâre already with your backpack tucked to you as you open the door of the backseats. sungchan helped widen the door for you before going to the other side to help minjeong with the things she bought from their date. as you stood by the tiled floor of the lobby, minjeong gave sungchan one last kiss on the lips as you heard him say, âbye, babe! bye, (y/n) and hope you rest!â
âsee you next week, baby.â the girl said as both you and her are waving your hands at the boy, who has entered the car driving off into the ending sunset of today. stepping inside the entrance of the apartment, you and she enter the empty elevator as you catch a glimpse at what other things minjeong had bought when you see a box from a chicken fast food brand, making your mouth water as you think about it, but you knew that youâll be nag by dr. park for eating junk food.
pushing the handle after you put the pin on the keypad, you enter and instantly kick your shoes off as you are met with ryujin who is tying her hair up, walking towards you as she helps with minjeongâs bags. the apartment was left as you remembered this morning: a few scattered papers from either you or ryujinâs homework, the weighted blanket by the sofa now folded, and the smell of hot choco on the coffee table alongside ryujinâs laptop as you remembered that she only has online classes today.
âwhat did you bring?â ryujin wiggled her eyebrows as she rummaged open the bag that youâd seen when she instantly brought it to the kitchen counter when you saw her already cooking something. out of all four of you, you and ryujin are the ones talented in cooking so itâs not a surprise to see her cook for herself, but when you see the large plate that is places beside where the stove is, you know she has been making dinner for all four of youâas only chaeryeongâs the one who is not finished with her work today.
âwhy did you bring back fast food, minjeong? we promised to also have (y/n)âs diet.â
âthatâs my leftover. chan said that the boys had too much stuff in their fridge so i brought it to us.â you then felt minjeongâs hand behind your lower back as she stood beside you, âhope you are okay with that.â
âof course, iâm okay.â you give minjeong a smile. âall of you arenât obliged to follow my diet cause i know you love red meat, jinnie.â
âit feels wrong if i donât follow you, though.â ryujin replied as you and minjeong go to your separate waysâshe walked to her room while you stepped into the kitchen to see the food that minjeong brought. the chicken was a leftover but you also see her bringing back different meats and seafood.
âi almost forgot to ask you, but can you give me the list of the food that you can and canât eat? just so i can help with the recipes and so we can pre-made food.â ryujin said as she put her arms behind your back, soothing you as you viewed her making japchae and beef on the pan.
âwill do, ryu.â you give her a salute as she gives your cheek a squeeze before you let her be. taking your bag handle as you step towards the direction of your room, the bell of your apartment rings as ryujin turns towards you, making both of you tilt your head as you volunteer to get to the intercom.
when you press the button, the screen shows you someone you donât expect to see as you can recognize the wolf cut hair youâve seen while scrolling on your instagram. your footsteps immediately go to the door as you hear the ringing âhelloâs from the intercom, opening it up to see the boy youâre trying your best to mask your feelings for with a box.
âheyya, (y/n)!â he replied as you widened the door to gaze at the box.
âh-hi beomgyu.â you give him a small smile as you try your best not to lock your eyes on him. to be having a crush on a boy like him is ridiculous, especially knowing that he is your RIVALâs best friend. and the fact that you still have a crush on him since high school to then be found being in the same uni as him. if he doesnât have heeseung by his side, you know you will brace yourself to approach him first. but now with his success as an indie musician, you know you are probably in a losing battle knowing just how spicy heeseung talks about you knowing that he has so many fans aiming at him and how you canât compete with themânot as much as yeonjun though.
âwha, whatâs this?â
âitâs for you.â he pushed the box towards you as you tried to peek inside when you felt a presence behind you.
âlet me get that.â another pair of hands open by your side and you see the smirk on beomgyuâs face falter to see ryujin pulling the box against her.
âhi ryujin,â he said, a slight tremble in his voice as you finally be able to look at him with your heart eyes before back at ryujin.
âbeomgyu,â she replied before leaving the door to put the box away. you eye the boy who is staring at the empty space for a few seconds too late before you are back in his attention, returning to the cheeky smile you adore.
âthank you for that!â you felt your palms getting sweatier than ever, rubbing one of them against the door to dry it.
âyou gotta have to thank heeseung for that.â
the way beomgyu named he-who-shall-not-be-named shutters your fantasy as you were met with the reality. of course, itâs from heeseung, not from the boy you had a crush onâeven if it means that the baby daddy trusts his best friend so much to tell him that he is having a baby with his rival. beomgyu seemed to be the nicer guy between the two. so, a girl can hope, right?
âoh yeah, wait for a minute!â you were so caught up in the way heeseung terrors you and slips back into your mind and how you wanted to slam the door when you heard his name when you remembered the paper that he had to sign. you pull the paper out of your folder as you pull one of your sticky notes and write a simple note to him. giving a smile to beomgyu, you handed him the paper as he stared at the words printed on it.
âgive it to heeseung and send it back to me after that, or if he wants to submit it himself, then thatâs fine. i have to give the contact person the info if he decides to send the paper to the administration himself.â
beomgyu nods as he chuckles at your note before giving a last âi willâ before walking and waving away, making you close the door as you wonder how did he know where you lived. eh, thatâs fine. you got to see what heeseung gave you as the box rested on top of the counter right beside ryujin who was pouring the japchae into the bowl.
slowly opening itâscared that he might have a jack-in-the-box mechanism inside itâyou were met with plastics covering greens as you tugged a few of them out to be met with a bunch of fruits and vegetables still packed in their groceryâs packing. your shoulder meets ryujinâs as she took a glimpse at the new ingredient you picked out of the box.
âfrom beomgyu?â
shaking your head, you feel a piece of paper inside the box as you pinch it between your fingers. straighten the creases, you see the scribbles on the note as you read it in your mind.
eat them for the babyâs health and your own sanity - lhs
âheeseung,â you replied after you finish. ryujin gives a small hum as you catch the smirk on her face before you shove her with your shoulder. both of you open the plastics of the greens, vegetables, and fruits that heeseung bought for you, ryujin saying out loud the names of the greens as you and her bounce ideas of what kind of food she can make to cater to your diet.
âkale, cabbage, broccoliâŠâ she picked another vegetable, carefully pulling away the plastics as the waft of the smell entered the kitchen. you knew of the vegetable, but being pregnant equals being sensitive to smells. and the way that you instantly wretch at the smell makes you scurry away from ryujin.
âhey, who rang the be-â
minjeong was pushed away as she saw you opening the door of their shared bathroom, making her turn around as she heard you wretch out the remaining food and saliva inside of you that is followed immediately by a flush from the toilet bowl. she walked to the kitchen to see ryujin holding stems of leaves on her hand.
âwell, now we know she canât eat arugula.â
the chime of the lock unlocked rings alongside the opening of the door of their apartment as ryujin and minjeong stare at it, seeing chaeryeong trying to breathe as she takes off her sneakers.
âWHY IS JIMIN PESTERING ME ABOUT (Y/N)?â
-
thumps and squeaks are what beomgyu heard as his eyes gazed at the lights coming out of the gymnasium. his feet working in tandem echoing through the night as he took another glance at the paper, another step away from the door as he pulled the handle to see a bunch of boys running around the wood-floored gym. beomgyuâs eyes searched for heeseung as he bit his lips, not wanting to be late for his own band practice with the boys.
turning towards the bleachers, heâs seen one of the boys that beomgyu remembered being on heeseungâs profile. his hands on top of his knees as he leans forward to see the 3 x 3 half court game beomgyu realized isnât a part of trainingâbut more of them having fun. he is taking a glimpse at heeseung who is muttering a curse word under his breath because the ball was stolen from his hold.
âhey, uh, sheep!â
the boy turns towards beomgyu with squinting feline-esque eyes before they widen, realizing who called him.
âyour jersey has âyangâ on it. so i called you sheep.â
ânah, thatâs okay. youâre beomgyu hyung, txtâs guitaristâŠâ the boy stands up, their height almost the same as each other, but beomgyu knows that the kid can grow tallerâfrom both basketball and his unfinished puberty phase, probably.
âiâm jungwon! iâm guessing youâre here for heeseung hyung?â
beomgyu glanced down at the paper as he nodded, âi couldnât stay until he finished cause i have band practice. so, this document is for him to sign.â he told jungwon what you told him as his ghost patted himself on his shoulders for being right. beomgyu uses his thumbs to point behind him after jungwon picks up the paper that he pushed towards him and gives him a thumbs up before a loud "thank you" rings as the gymnasium door opens, leaving jungwon with a slight chuckle creeped out of his lips.
the boy couldnât stop his curiosity as he turned the paper so he could read the writing, skimming it down as his eyebrows as he couldnât stop his speech before it was too lat-
âHEESEUNG HYUNG IS A DAD?!â
jungwonâs shout makes movement screech to a halt as he looks up at his boys, also staring at heeseung, who is glaring at jungwon and the paper he is holding. but, his reaction speed was too slow to pull it off his grips as heeseung lost against the other five boys who had huddled towards jungwon.
âshut up!â sunoo exclaimed.
âitâs true, sun,â jongseong replied as he could hear jaeyun and riki screaming and laughing before they scurried to run around heeseung.
âwho is this (y/n), hyung?â jaeyun speaks into his ear, making heeseung grimace as the three walk towards the crowd with sunghoon now holding onto the paper.
âisnât (l/n)(y/n) your senior, jjong?â sunghoon calls out, making said boy read carefully the name with the signature on top.
âoh yeah! we had a marketing communication class together. didnât know you knew her, hyung.â
heeseung steps in between them as he snatches the paper out of sunghoonâs grip in a quick frame. his eyes scan the paper that is writtenâthe letter to the university administration about your statusâand he can see his name printed on the side of the paper from yours. then, he finally read the note you have sticking onto the paper.
sign it and give it to the administration office. if youâre serious.
âwon, itâs your turn to play,â he said as the boys stared at him. âi have things to do, plus i have a morning class tomorrow.â
âokay, hyung.â jungwonâs answer was followed by his offer to the older boys to continue the match as he felt another hand holding onto his forearm, turned to see the youngest boy with a small smile on his face.
âyou gotta have to let us meet this (y/n) noona. i bet sheâs pret-â
âgo back to your place, riki-kun. jakeâs calling for you.â
âhey, lanky. come on before i make you and jungwon switch.â jaeyunâs voice penetrates through the conversation at the correct moment as the smirk on heeseungâs face is growing. theyâre leaving him alone as he walks towards his backpack and duffle bagâfinally feeling the surging soreness from pushing himself hard while training and off-training. sure, itâs excessive. but the tournament is a month away from now, and he had to train for that, knowing that the matches would be back-to-back if he passed the quarter-finals.
the wood of the bleachers screeches beneath his body as he pulls out his pen, staring at the paper one last timeâtrembling breaths coming out from him. who knew that a single signature could hold so much power?
yet with how you are trying to deter him, to remind him that signing this will mean that the whole university will now know lee heeseung is a future father: that actually made him shake. he could feel the boiling anxiousness giving a few pumps of steam into his mind, clouding the plans he had already made in his mind from the information jeongin told him. he knows the future scenarios on both sides.
but fuck it, right? heâs not usually caring about what other people perceive. so what if he is known as a dad in nine months? but, he had to think about the parental leave youâre proposingâit might actually make him graduate late.
yet, the view is clear as he lets his pen glide on the paper.
the baby and your scowling face as you realize that his doing is the one that makes that baby so healthy.
tucking the paper in between his laptop and his wireless earbuds on his ears, he waves goodbye to the boys who are playing with sunoo giving a beautiful lay-up before he pushes the door to get out of the gym. the streetlights shining the pathways as he still can see students roaming around the campus at nightâmost are going to the library to maybe pull an all-nighter.
the screen illuminates his face as he scrolls down at the text jimin had sent him about you. but he had to do another victory lap first when he dialed the generic full nameâs number.
âhello?â
âthat will not work, (y/n).â
heeseung heard the grainy chuckle in his ear as he let his musclesâ memories take him home in the night's dark. eyes staring at the path that opens up onto the sidewalk where sparse vehicles are going about on the asphalt streets.
âso you sign it?â he caught the way you sigh against your phone while heeseung is focusing on both the conversation and what jimin texted about your condition.
âand iâll be giving it to the office.â
âhmm, okayâŠâ heeseungâs eyes scan through the words, letting his face contort and relax as he consumes it to his mind before itâs broken by a grainy sound of metal from your end.
âalso, thanks, by the way. for the arugula. made me vomit my stomach out.â heeseung heard you reply as it slowly became more mumbled, hearing you eating your dinnerâs food as the noises of the night came back into his cochlea, shaking his nerves as only white noises entertained him as he looked aroundâseeing his apartment building at the distance.
âand donât make jimin ask chaeryeong about me again. sheâs traumatized now and we have each otherâs number saved.â
heeseung didnât want to save your number at first. but when his mom brought him to her meeting with your mom, catching up after a long time and discussing that both of you have been accepted by the same university, they insisted that you both to have each otherâs numbers saved. âfor emergency sake, so you both have each other to rely on.â his mom explained, making him discreetly roll his eyes while you continue to listen to your music without giving a glance to him. yet, youâre the one that gave him your phone first so he can type his number, making a small â:pâ the first thing you text to him.
âiâll tell him.â he clicked his tongue as he caught the way you omit another information from him.
âbut youâre not gonna tell me you have a doctorâs appointment next week?â
âhowâd you kno-â
âjimin, from chaeryeong, and so, from you.â his smile gets bigger. âgotta have to thank jimin for that one.â
âso you want to join? what if you have a class?â
heeseungâs feet brought him to the lobby of his apartment building, his vision now on the elevator as he stated something so obvious to him.
âi have questions and i rather miss class than leave it unanswered.â
-
your hands are tugged inside your hoodieâs front pocket as you wait for your name to be called. the usual soreness is tamed as you let chaeryeong massage your back carefully, relaxing most of the tender muscles that are holding you up. you can see a little bump protruding out of your stomach that was not there when you discovered you were pregnant in week 8.
remembering the way you have to buy five pregnancy tests is ridiculous when your only symptoms are headaches and vomiting. but it quickly escalates to morning sickness and how you notice just how sensitive your senses have becomeâthe way your fingers realize little grains of crayon as you pick up the kidsâ drawing to how youâre triggered by little noises coming out off your room. it feels too strange for it to be food poisoning and with all five tests showing two blue stripes: all the problems you have faced for the past monthâwhy your period is late, the morning sicknessâall click inside your mind.
your girls were the first ones you spoke to, recalling how they waited in front of your shared bathroom as you flipped the tests around, hitting you one by one with the truth of your condition. then tears start to show as overwhelming emotions compete to show dominance and you hear chaeryeongâs voice from behind the knocks on the door. you open the door to feel them hugging you as you show them the tests, how they canât wait to be your babyâs cool aunts from differing perspectives as they know of your history related to children, pregnancy, and motherhood from taking care of so many children, how your parents open up to you about why they couldnât give you a younger sibling, and the responsibility you are willing to take care for them. at that moment they hugged, youâve already fallen in love with your baby and you are determined to let them have a happy life.
the obstetrics and gynecology departmentâs walls were more pastel than the other parts of the hospital. maternity pack posters hanging as you read the words, planning your next steps as you waited by the door to your doctor. your fingers interlocked and thumbs twirling around each other as you attentively listen to the open door and your name being called. scouring your eyes around, you saw a little playground area for kids barren as you eyed the small set, mothers around you waiting also for their appointmentâsome with a sleeping baby in their hands, another with a large bump. the atmosphere is so serene that you can collect your thoughts and arrange them for the next seven months from your due date.
âhey, (y/n).â
your eyes blink as you turn around in your seat to face forward once again, looking up to find the familiar face youâve been thinking about for the past few days.
heeseung wears a simple hoodie like you do, both of his hands tucked into the front pocket as the strap of his bag crosses his chest. a thin-lipped smile on his face as you didnât see his usual resting bitch expression.
âheeseungâŠâ you reply as you gnaw on the inside of cheek as he stands there, âi havenât gotten the call from the doctor yet. so you can sit down.â your eyes glance quick at the vast space beside yours on the sofa you are also sitting down. he gave a quick nod before sitting on the space beside yours, a noticeable space between the two of you as you both lean more against each of the tables placed as the barriers between the sofas. even if you felt a piercing presence beside you, you tried your best not to look at him. the phone call when he called you was the last time you spoke with your voice to himâyou having small talk with him as he found in the hospital doesnât really countâyet he still gave you another box of ingredients for your unborn child this week, no arugula this time.
well, you are glad to see beomgyu more and you donât mind seeing beomgyu every week if heâs the one that does heeseungâs errands for his child.
both of you stare forward at the doors and wall in front of you, nearing mirroring each other even by the slight twitch of both of you wanting to look at each other. but, also not really. the tension is stronger than when you told him youâre pregnant with his child. the fucking effects of the continued declaration of rivalry as you can calculate how far both of you are willing to push even for the past week and you can guess what you both will push more for the next 7 months.
âmiss (l/n) (y/n)?â the door opened as the nurse spoke of your name making you jump up from your seat as heeseung followed behind you to enter the doctorâs room.
â(y/n)!â the young doctor said enthusiastically as you sat down on the chair in front of the desk.
âdoctor park!â you answered, cadence matched hers.
âhow have you- oh.â dr. park looks at the man entering behind you, looking between the three women in the room and the empty chair near the door before he hears her speak, âis this the dad?â
âyes, iâm the dad, lee heeseung,â he replied steadily as dr. park, who is standing up, shoots her hand out to him.
âiâm dr. park jihyo, (y/n)âs ob-gyn doctor. didnât expect to meet you as (y/n) said that the dad might not be involved.â
heeseungâs eyebrows were raised, chortling as he realized what you implied, âafter she told me, i decided to be involved.â his eyes peek from the side to see you giving a stare with no movements on your lips, sitting down on the chair beside of yours as you want to continue with your appointment.
âwell, welcome to your tenth week of being pregnant. how are you feeling?â dr. park asks, looking at you with a warm smile as you see the nurse taking care of your document.
âthe morning sickness kinda gets pretty worse and overflows out of the morning. definitely more sensitive towards scent, flavor, and texture. i also have already sensed growth on the bump since it is a bit more protruding than usual.â your hand unconsciously caresses the hoodie covered in your stomach, feeling the tenderness of the skin that is just muscles of your abdomen being pushed to cater to the baby.
âyour stomach and intestines are being pushed by the uterus as the fetus grows and itâs very normal. since we already did the blood and urine test and went over your family history back in your first appointment, we can go to an ultrasound to check the growth of your baby.â dr. park replied as she nodded at the nurse who instantly walked to the bed and set things up for your scan.
âiâm sorry to bother you, doctor. but i have a question.â
your head shifts towards heeseung as he asks, the doctor just giving him a nod.
â(y/n) said to me sheâll get a plan b pill after our⊠time. yet, she still got pregnant, but isnât that still supposed to work?â the way his voice pitches makes you hold on to a smile, recalling to when you asked the doctor the same question in your first appointment. you gave the doctor a big nod for her signal.
âwell, (y/n) said to me she consumed a plan b pill less than 24 hours after your intercourse. but plan b pill, or levonorgestrel, works by delaying the release of the egg from the ovaries. she also said that her period, which started around a week or two weeks before she discovered she was positive, was late. so, we can assume that while you two have sex, (y/n) was already in her early stages of ovulation with the egg being released into the fallopian tube and the egg got fertilized.â
heeseung nods along with the doctorâs words as you remember the same explanation given to you in the previous meeting. youâve tried using pills before but you know it will affect your hormone and physical health in the long runâyou are not a serial fucker unlike a few people you recognizeâso you rely on protection like condoms and morning-after pills right after that. heeseung not wearing one makes you want to laugh at how funny the scenario is and how you can just remain rivals for the rest of your life if you remind him to put on the rubber.
the nurse calls for as you follow her, stepping out of your shoes as you lay down on the bed. she gently brushes your hoodie up as your skin is exposed while she also pulls the band of your pants down below right above your underwear line. the chairs move as you glance at heeseung following dr. park as she takes the seat beside you to check on the machinery. the liquid is cold as it touches your skin as your eyes catch heeseung who is looking at the exposed stomach where his unborn child is.
as the transducer spread around the gel on the stomach when you feel it pressed down, you looked at the screen across from you hanging on the ceiling as the doctor moved around, marking the size of your uterus. you heard her gasp as you turned to look at her warm smile that widens into a grin.
âcongratulations to you both!â she replied as she continued to move the transducer around, making you and heeseung realize that thereâs a fetus inside you, but not just one.
âTWINS?!â
-
2. katana-like knife
heeseung gazes at the ultrasound he is holding with both hands, seeing the way the doctor has assigned twin 1 and twin 2 on the screen. the twins are in different sacs; he remembered what the doctor said, making them fraternal twins. she also says that not only you were ovulating when you two fuck, but you were releasing two different eggs around the same time and he got both of them pregnant.
he recalled both of you doing a hilarious staring contest as you couldnât stop yourself from making funny faces as the doctor described the growth of your twins. fucking heck, he hadnât told his friends that he was having twins. how his body trembles as the realization hits him while heâs looking at his babiesâyes, pluralâmakes him even want to be more attentive, to now realize that he had two to take care of. and those two make him know you have to adjust your diet once again.
if it werenât for him buying ingredients, he doesnât think you would adapt easily to what the babies need. heâs won on this occasion. but what comes next?
his phone vibrates on the table as he takes a glimpse of the text message showing on the lit-up screen.
(l/n) (y/n): iâm heading home for the weekend. my parents will definitely see that iâve been knocked up.
even he can see it as he had walked past you before on campus. youâre now wearing more oversized clothing piecesât-shirts, hoodies, cardigansâas he realized the slight bump on the surface of them. itâs been over two weeks since that check-up appointment and the growth has been faster than he expected.
(l/n) (y/n): not asking you to join me.
(l/n) (y/n): if you arenât brave enough to take the consequences, iâm fucking winning this :p
âthatâs itâ he shakes his head as he tugs the ultrasound picture into his wallet before putting it back in its place, hands opening the messages.
lee heeseung: threatening much. iâm in.
if you want to make this a competition, letâs make this a competition.
lee heeseung: hey mom. sorry for texting you randomly. but iâm going back home for the weekend.
all he had to do was wait, as he could hear the sound of his mom talking with your mom on the phone about how their children would be home together, asking to meet up.
and that moment goes exactly as he had expected as he drove the car with you in the passenger seat, leaning against the door as you both let the radio play boring-ass repeating pop songs from some random radio station. none of you seem to react, just to make each other annoyed enough to know who will concede and connect to bluetooth firstâeven not listening to good-ass music is a competition between you both.
you sighed extra loud as you listened to an old-ass pop song from the mid-2010s the radio seemed to have a lifetime contract for it to play for fucking ever. you wish you were the one driving now, but you didnât bring your car for this semester because it needed maintenance and you were in a healthier mood for this year. you catch a look at your phone, seeing your mom asking where you are right now as auntie lee has arrived at your homeâcooking up the food for all your family to enjoy.
âwhich one is your carâs bluetooth?â you gave up on hearing the radio station as you playfully checked every menu to find the bluetooth menu.
âthe brand of the car, duh,â he answered, still focusing on the highway as you remembered that itâs nearly a few exits away from the side of the town you and he grew up in. he took a glance at the bluetooth speaker as he sees,
ââmitskiâs brainchild personifiedâ? you liked her that much?â he actually snorted, making you see the name on your phone on the screen in the middle of the dashboard.
âshut the fuck up. sheâs my comfort musician, just like kaede from slam dunk is your comfort character.â the way your fingers lightly tap against your phone, makes him chuckle as he can hear you holding onto your emotion from not spilling through your words, not commenting on how you mentioned his liking for slam dunk as if you remember it so well, even if it also stuns him.
youâre playing a playlist of yours that is just⊠instrumentals. a perfect playlist to hear whilst commuting as you let yourself take a breather from this world. eyes gazing to the window outside as you rested your phone on your lap. the scent of heeseungâs cologne accustomed your memories as you let the music speak while you both remained quiet. maybe, because it is an instrumental track that you both couldnât comment on, that he canât take a jab at your music taste unless you put on mitski or boygenius, that it gives a soundtrack so vague it resembles the way you perceived your relationship to each. sure, you still hate him for everything he has done to you in the name of winning. but, with two babies on the way, the concept of the rivalry between you both is there yet so blurry. which one is a concrete rivalry? which one is the softer one? why should you trust what he gave to you? why did he join in to take care of them?
the car zooms fast on the highway, yet you can see slower cars on the outside of the highway and faster cars zooming past you on the other lane. itâs like what your dad had said beforeâ"you donât feel how fast life is until you look at other peopleâs lives"âand to think that you will be home in overtly large clothing to hide your bump to know that heâs going to be a granddad just concretes the idea of that in your mind. you turn your head to glance at the backseat, seeing the shopping bag you had prepared besides what heeseung also has for his family, who heâll meet at your house.
stepping out of the car, you stood at the carpool of your house filled with carsâother than yours and your parents inside the garageâwhen you watched your mom and heeseungâs mom walk out of the porch, barefooted, to greet you. the warmth of your momâs hug felt so overwhelming that you had to sink your emotions as you blamed your hormones for making you too sensitive.
the interior of the house feels so lively from the last time you went home during the semester break. maybe itâs because of the way your mom has another guest in the form of the lee family and the smell of the delicious you know both of your moms had made together with their aprons still on as they guide you inside. even as they walked to the kitchen, you could hear them whisper.
âsince when did (y/n) and heeseung arrive here together and in the same freaking car?â auntie lee asks.
â(y/n) didnât bring her car this semester so i guess she doesnât wanna waste any more money for transport.â mama answered.
both of your moms have always tried to make you close and youâve always tried to tone down your rivalry in front of them, effortlessly acting in front of them as nice friends when you give him a snide look behind their backs any chance you can get. your bickering can escalate so much that you will have a shouting match in the arcade as heeseung doesnât want to give up his time to play for you, making both of your moms force you to apologize to each other before that bickering returns at schoolâs classes where theyâre not there for you two to mediate. maybe thatâs why you donât perceive heeseung as an enemy. merely a rival; because your mom never talked bad about heeseung no matter what happened between the two of you and it seems that heeseungâs mom has also done the same to him.
the two shopping bags sit on the coffee table as you watch both of your dads talking about dad stuff. heeseungâs attention is on his phone as heâs typing something on the screen while you unconsciously rub your stomach hidden beneath your top, waiting for all of them to settle down around the coffee table as they want to open the shopping bags together.
âwhat did you bring me?â mama asks in a sing-song manner as heeseungâs mom giggles beside her. you stood beside heeseung with your hands behind you as the husbands looked at the similar-looking gift boxes in each of their wivesâ hands.
âdonât tell me. is it the jewelry i showed you those months ago, hee?â
ânah, itâs not. dadâs planning to buy that one for you.â
heeseungâs dadâs face turns into a scowl, seemingly angry as if his son has spoiled his plan while the boy just widens his smile before gazing back at his mom.
âwell, together?â mama asked to his mom.
âyeah, 3, 2⊠1!â
the box opens as youâre holding your breath, also holding back your smirk as you can view the way papaâs eyebrows crease as he canât believe what he is saying. heeseungâs mom was the first one to openly express her shock by literally jumping from her seat and box thrown towards his dadâs as he took a good stare at it, making you glance at him you actually won the bidding on who would be shocked first between the two.
âNO, FUCK- WAIT?!â his mom stares between the two of you before your mom jumps from her space to also gaze at you, holding onto the paper. giving him a nudge with your elbow. you didnât expect him to wrap his arm behind your shoulders.
âyeah⊠the babies are ours-â
âno fucking way!â your mom actually shouted as she hyperventilates while heeseungâs mom covers her mouth, contemplating on what to do when she felt her body being squished by her best friend, hugging her tight as they turn to hug each other while heeseungâs dad gives his box to your dad so he could see it clearly.
âsince when are you two together?â papa asked as you tried to let heeseungâs grip from your shoulder.
âuncle, we arenât together. we just hook up and-â
âWEâRE GOING TO BE IN-LAWS.â you can hear mama cheer as both of the women twirl around the small space, making you feel even more guilty for breaking the immersion as you stop budging away from heeseungâs hold. rolling your eyes, you stare at heeseung and lean in close to his ear, whispering.
âbad fucking ideaâŠâ
âat least theyâre happy, right? well, i won because of that.â
mama interrupts both of you as she gives you both an enormous hug while heeseungâs mom comes from behind. you could see the tears coming out of mamaâs eyes who rested her head against your shoulder.
âughh, too tight.â
âstop it, honey! (y/n) looks so uncomfortable.â papa reminded.
âoops, sorry!â your mom lets go of her hold as heeseungâs mom slotted between the two of you as she pushes in on the excess fabric of your clothes, making you grip both sides of your top and pull it backward so she can see your bump already showing.
âhi, baby!â
âitâs babies.â heeseungâs dad cuts in as his wife follows with, âthereâs two of them?â
âi swear to god.â heeseungâs old man brushes his face, unbelievable that his wife didnât see the two sacs from the ultrasound as you give your mom a nod, her hands carefully holding onto your waist.
âfraternal twins,â you confirmed to her as you watched another batch of fresh tears coming out of her eyes.
âhello, you two. youâre going to have the best mom ever.â
âand dad too.â heeseungâs mom replied as she moved to stand in front of you two, seeing his grown son seemingly glowing as she spoke of him being the best dad to his two unborn children.
âokay. i gotta have to make the red meat well done then.â mama cuts out as she hastily moves to the kitchen to cook back her meat-based meal, letting auntie lee replace her place as she caresses the bump gently.
âhow long has it been?â she asked as you opened your mouth to reply.
âwe did the ultrasound two weeks ago. so itâs week 12 now.â heeseung cuts you off as she gazes back at her son.
âwhat have you two already prepared?â
âwe gave a letter to the university for future parents and they agreed to let me take online classes entering 5 months because i only have three classes, one is that's doing a study case, and they let heeseung have parental leave if i give birth. i havenât found the right doula yet but my supervisor at the daycare has a connection to one and i think it will be her. she has given me the number so i just have to text her,â you answered.
âis it near campus?â she replied.
âyeah, because i donât want to graduate late. thatâs why i decided to stay near campus during it.â you have thoughts on if you should just take a break this semester to focus on your pregnancy or not multiple times by now. but, of course, the rivalry comes back as you still want to keep pace with heeseung and your friends who will be graduating next semester.
âyou should take a semester leave, (y/n).â heeseung cuts off your thought as you peek at him.
âiâve already got what i wanted from the uni and itâs fine, heeseung. i can keep up.â
âwell, you can, but what if you donât take care of the babies?â
âof course, i can take care of the babies-â
ânot by being stressed over college.â
âheeseung-â you turn your body towards him as you grip both of his upper arms, firm hands holding him as you stare down at him. âi know whatâs best for me. i know what my limits are. iâve trusted you enough with the food but you should also trust me to know how to take care of myself outside of nutrition.â
your teeth are grinding against each other as your fiery gaze stays on him, even as you let go of the grip. it stays for a few more seconds as you turn back to head to the dads who seem to be forgotten by the sofa, seeing papa teary-eyed as he hugs and kisses your head before you let heeseungâs dad hug you.
his mom turns towards him, cupping his cheek. âshe knows what sheâs doing, heeseung.â
âbut how should i know itâs right? cause thatâs not right for me. my friendâs mom said that a pregnant woman should focus on preparing herself for her birth and doing college doesnât seem to prepare her for that.â heeseung sighed as he looked at his mom, not expecting a slight hurt on her face.
âi was still doing my job when i was pregnant with you, heeseung. your dad trusted me for that cause he knows my limits, might be even more than i do. let her be and you might learn that she knows how to take care of herself, too.â her hand brushed away the fringe on his forehead, eyes glistening as she let out a small warm smile at him. the hurt falling away as heeseung sees her momâs signature smile of knowing before she brought him in his arms, hugging him tight as he glances at you who is giving him a small look with a tight-lip smile before you turn away to the dining room.
-
heeseung stares at the glow-in-the-dark stars sticking on the ceiling. his back being stretched out on the floor as he laid on the comforter beside the single bed where youâre still playing with your phone. he remembered how he beggedâtrying to persuadeâhis parents to bring him home with them. but knowing that heâll only be staying for one night and you two are âtogetherâ, they decide for him to stay with you instead. you can see how his fuming breath was held as you glanced at him with an unidentifiable look at the dining table, his parents believing you would let him stay in your bed.
but he insists on lying down on the floor, knowing the history between the two of you they donât know, as you silently agree.
printed pictures still hang on one side of the room when he looks at them as long as the bedside lamp is still on. he remains silent, eyes tired from looking at his phone so much to distract him from his reality when he hears the rummaging movement on the mattress as you put the phone on the table.
âwell, night, heeseung.â the click of the lamp is big in the white-noised room as darkness envelops the space, letting in the moon and streetlights outside beam their shine inside. your eyes easily adjust to the surroundings as you puff your one-less pillows on the bed to find the right positionâknowing the ache of sleeping in the wrong position when you are carrying two fetuses inside you.
âsince when did you work in a daycare?â
the manâs words overcome your action as you brush the cover of the pillow.
âwhy do you wanna know?â you put the pillows in the right position as you lay your head and back against it.
âsince your mom proclaimed that youâll be the mom ever.â
heeseung is reminded of the way you look when your mom says that, a look of pride coming out of your eyes as you unconsciously nod knowingly. even if you and him are close by proximityâby being your momsâ children, by being schoolmates, by having roommates who stay in proximity with each otherâthereâs still something that you donât know about each other. because if the opposites know, they can use it as leverage to bring any of the two down.
âhad a few babysitting gigs during high school days. i started to like it more and decided when i go to hybe, iâve volunteered for a non-formal school for children and more. i decided to do a part-time job at a daycare and yeahâŠâ you replied, laying down by your side as if you could see heeseung beside you when he is, in fact, below you.
âit doesnât match with your major though.â heeseung gives a snide comment as you sigh loudly.
âso what if a business major canât connect with my passion for childcare- fuck me.â you stopped to remind yourself to stop taking the bait from heeseung because you know he was making these comments to break your confidence within yourself. you could discuss how making and taking care of a business could resemble making and taking care of a child, but with the way he had pissed you off today in more ways than one, you rather stick that thought to yourself and instead, take offense towards him.
âwhy did you wrap your arm around my shoulders?â
heeseung glances towards the bed, seeing your silhouette on the top forming a dark shadow because of your comforter shielding it.
âi had to. so they know the babies are ours,â he replied with the thought that first came to mind after he already had his arm behind youâblaming his underlying consciousness for doing that.
âand it makes them believe weâre together when weâre not. look at us now.â both of your arms stretch out of the comforter to tell him just how big the situation you got yourself into cause how many white lies must you tell your parents to hide that this is because of a hookup, not because you are romantically linked?
your staggered giggles drop as you try to glance downwards at him, the arm nearest to the floor left hanging as heeseung didnât comment on what you said. âwell, this just got more complicated.â
âour situation is complicated since the start, (y/n).â
âwell, i know who to blame for making our strings get more tangled with our parents cause fuck you, heeseung.â
he saw the lone middle finger standing tall from the silhouette of your figure before you picked yourself up and lay all your weight on the bed, turning the other side as heeseung followed; both of you staring at the opposites of the room, knowing that your bodies needed to rest so you can face each other again in the morning.
the time between that night and how you both lived after you went back to your own places near campus was a week when you texted him about the doula that you had told at your parentâs home. the car was left in neutral with the handbrake lifted as heeseung waited at the daycare where you work. his eyes gaze at the differing modes of transport each guardian is picking up the kids with before looking at the lobby as he sees you and another attendant saying goodbyes to the kids. he watches as a few of them hug you and even a few let their cheek rested against your growing bump before you take a glance forward at them who is going back to be with their parents, noticing his car for a few seconds before you return inside to take your items.
the backpack is hanging off your shoulders as you take another sliced fried potato from the container when you enter the passengerâs seat beside his driverâs one, resting your back against the seat with your bag there to support you. âhello! iâve sent you the address, right?â
he stares at you with his squinting eyes, âyou should not eat that.â
âitâs cravings, heeseung. itâs totally normal. the doula can count me on that.â you chew another fry as heeseung lets out a mumble under his breath as he moves the handbrake and puts the gear to drive, reeling the car forward as he drives you to the doulaâs office. both of your moms have suggested several doulas for you to choose from, but you reminded them youâre having twins. so having a doula who specializes in taking care of moms birthing multiples will be helpful as it is also your first time.
playfully, you fly a french fry like an airplane towards heeseung as he drives, like the usual time you try to feed kids at the daycare. it nudges against his lips a few times before he bit it, pulling it off your fingers; making you let out a chuckle cause he canât even resist it himself.
the parking lot was pretty barren as you only saw a few vehicles when you both walked out of the cars. you adjust the backpack once again on your back as the chime from the car tells you it is now locked as you enter the office building.
thanking the receptionist, you and he stood in front of the doulaâs office as you knocked the door.
the door opens as a soft-spoken woman says from the inside, âmiss (l/n)(y/n)?â
âyes, i am.â
âoh, come in. come in.â the door widened as heeseung could see the things inside the large office room. a desk in one corner and a cabinet stood behind it. accolades and certifications by the desk with a sofa on the corner beside the door. a box of what seems to be baby toys beside the sofa as posters are hanging on the wall. from the anatomical look of a baby inside their momâs uterus to words of encouragement towards mothers.
âiâm haseul. nice to meet you.â the woman shook your hand as she then glanced at heeseung who was still wandering around.
âoh, uh, this is heeseung, the babiesâ daddy.â you refer to his name as he looks at the lady, shaking her hand as she looks between the two of you.
âso, both of you arenât married or dating-â
âno, weâre childhood friends and hooked up, and this happened.â heeseung blurts out as you raised your eyebrows, poking your tongue in the cheek. haseul nodded her head as she let both of you sit down in front of the desk.
âfirst, congratulations on the twins. you must be nervous to find that out.â
âof course, especially as a first-time mom. but, iâm feeling pretty okay.â
âthatâs good, iâve also sent you the questionnaire for you to fill on your plan for giving birthâŠâ haseulâs voice traces out as heeseung glances at the portrait frame of her holding onto a baby with a mom, a glance at the book about post-partum, and a baby doll on top of the cabinet right in front of a corner window. he could only catch onto some words he recognized from jeongin telling himâbirth, dilation, cramps, anesthesia, cesareanâas he sensed himself getting overwhelmed, especially when he had the second preliminary match in two days and his gig in being the documentation for a baseball match for hybe uni too.
his thumbs caressed his fingertips as he sensed the sweat forming on his palm, the same feeling he has every time he has to go to match. to then realize just how ready you seem by how eloquently you say the words for your requests to the doula like youâve grown up much more than he is even though both of you are the same age. sure, he felt the leverage the first time when he sent you food and a few tips he makes beomgyu do; but his knowledge couldnât compete with yours and it scares him to know he is losing his stance from above you. to know that youâre much more ready than him.
âheeseungâŠâ he heard someone calling for him, before something wrapped around his wrist, taken aback to see you brought him back to the room he was in.
âsorry⊠what did you say?â heeseung replied as haseul gave him a warm smile.
âiâve heard from (y/n) that you have known some knowledge of pregnancies but i could give you some sources to read because it is your first time as a dad as well.â the woman said to him calmly, looking at heeseung as if she can read his body language. your hold on his wrist stays as you rub the inside of his wrist with your thumb. âwe have also discussed that (y/n) will try the normal route with water birth and if she canât handle it, sheâll be going with cesarean. we could also do an appointment every two weeks as both of you are students now, but it is best if you come so you can understand each process as she is entering the second trimester.â
âi understand. iâll try my best to set my schedule so i can join her.â heeseung glanced at you, who was giving a nod before you let go of your hold as he seemed to be anchored back in the room. the woman gives a small smile as she starts a lecture on the process of pregnancy, childhood, and parenthood. another class that heeseung doesnât want to get in the first place, but knowing his determination to be the best dad everâas what his mom believes him to beâhe follows along with writing notes in his book as you have with your laptop. the class that he has to pass so he can take care of his children as best as he can.
-
even with the music booming from around his space, heeseung still felt like something was different. his eyes rested on the plastic-colored cup filled with a concoction of alcohol he didnât knowâhe could taste the gin and what seemed to be fanta in it. the sigma muâs frat house lits up in motion as he eyes the way the expensive big-ass speakers are scattered around the room, gazing at the familiar faces of his peers and juniors he has seen while walking around campus.
something stirs within him as he eyes his friends who are hereâbeomgyu who is by the speaker as he talks with the dj, jimin with his dance crew friends, jeongin with his class friend, while heeseung sits with sunoo and sunghoon on either side of him. thatâs when he caught onto the silhouette of some familiar faces every time he comes across a certain person; every time he comes across you.
âexcuse me, gang.â heeseung would like to thank himself for being able to stand up so stable even with the nearly empty cup, excusing himself from his basketball teammates to walk towards the frat boys of sigma mu to find the vp and his girlfriend by his side.
âwinterâŠâ he calls with the nickname he heard you and others call her before as said girl turns towards him with her boyfriendâs arm still behind the sofa.
âlee heeseung.â she spoke out with a grin on her face, âwhat makes you come in front of us?â
âi was wondering,â âfuck itâ heeseung drinks up the whole liquid that remains inside the cup, hoping that his alcohol tolerance still be able to support him to be stable, âhas (y/n) ever talked to you about a doula check-up or some other thing?â
âshe shouldâve told me if thereâs gonna be a checkup but i donât think there is one nearest from now.â minjeong replies as she lets sungchan take care of her drink so she can comfortably talk to the boy in front of them.
âah, really?â
âyeah!â minjeong replied before giving another smile. thatâs when someone crashes to wrap their arms around minjeong and sungchan, making the two jump as they turn to see ryujinâs head between both of them before giving minjeong a peck on the temple.
âhey, (y/n)âs baby daddy. whatchu up to?â
heeseung chuckles as he looks between the two girlsââno wonder you have them as your friends, all of them are similar after allââbefore he opens his mouth.
âjust checking whatâs (y/n) up to-â
âwell, sheâs not here. for your information.â ryujin lets out a smirk, âyou must really wanna talk to her about something.â
âa doula appointment.â sungchan replied, âand you know how (y/n) is aboutâŠâ the boy glances at, âhim.â
heeseungâs teeth grit against each other as he senses they are hiding something from him. maybe because of your doing so you can prove to everyone that he isnât as committed to his children as he spoke about.
âyou and minjeong arenât home, so i presume (y/n) is with chaer-â
âsomeoneâs calling my name?â
heeseung sighs as he turns towards the voice of chaeryeong who is holding two cups of drinks as she gives one to ryujin.
âheâs asking about (y/n).â minjeong nods toward chaeryeong when she lets out a small ah before turning her head to stare at heeseung.
âsince chan here invited all four of us at the frat party, she really wanted to be here but, of course, cause sheâs preggo with YOUR children, she couldnât. but all of us went out of the apartment together and she was holding a duffle bag of some sort.â
âwhere is she going?â heeseung doesnât hesitate to ask, making your three friends look at each other and giggle.
âyou seem desperate enough. sheâs at the park near our apartment complex. she complained about needing a light workout because of how much her back is hurting.â ryujin said as heeseung could picture the park, knowing where you lived because he had picked you up for your trip back home for the weekend.
âokay, thanks all of you.â heeseung places the cup on the table beside the sofa where minjeong sits and turns away, letting the sense of fresh air flowing inside the frat house guide him to the nearest exit as he arrived on the pavement, feeling the stuffiness inside him getting lighter as he gave a text in his group chat heâll be leaving early.
the walk there was pleasant, to say the least, because the suburban town the campus is in is pretty sparse compared to the city where heeseung and you live. there is enough place for it to be called a big town but not enough skyscrapers to be called a metropolis. and with the inconsiderable amount of apartment complexes available near campus, he already pinpointed the park where you might be.
crossing the black-and-white stripes, he arrived at one of the entrances of the park where he still could see a few people doing their activities insideânight jogging, playing chess under the streetlights, and a couple who was on a date. he was reminded of what ryujin said about how you might need exercise, but the duffle bag says to him you might stay in one place rather than walking around the park as the main event of your exercise time.
heeseungâs feet instantly brought him to the place that he had gone before in this park as it is the same park near where sunghoon, jay, and jake liveâmaybe they live in the same complex as you doâwhen he finds the silhouette lightly jog behind the trees from the path he is on. the sound of rubber meeting the concrete slaps across the nightâs atmosphere as he sees you in the middle of the basketball court, wearing a sweatshirt where he could see the bump pushing against the fabric. the basketball bouncing between your palm and the ground creates the familiar sound as you jog toward the ring and shoot your shot. the ball hits the backboard enough that it bounces into the basket.
âfuck yesâŠâ you exclaimed as you grabbed the bouncing ball into your hand, heaving as you brushed the sweat of your skin right underneath the spotlight shining on the court.
thatâs when you pick up the scraping on the concrete and clap when you turn around to look at the last person you want to see tonight.
âyou still got it,â heeseung commented, making you scoff as you took a few steps back so you stood adjacent to the free throw circle. holding up the basketball between your hands as you tried to remember the position before pushing towards the ring. the basketball curves as it hits the edge of the box instead.
âdammit!â
âyou spun your ball,â heeseung replies as the ball flies into his arm, naturally guiding it into a dribble as he walks towards you.
âi didnât.â
âyour wrist was twisted and when it makes your hand doesnât flop straight towards the ring.â he walks towards your side as he shows you the way to hold it, making you glance at the arm muscles that form from holding the ball so much as he throws the ball, creating a perfect arch that it bounces on the back of the rim before it flies and the basket catches its fall. your body immediately reaches for it before heeseung can as you return to your spot whilst dribbling alternating between left and right.
âi know.â you lightly roll your eyes as you grab onto the basketball once again, wiping your sweat palm against your sweatshirt before you feel the right grip as you return to your position, reminding yourself to let the ball fly and not twist your ball before you threw it.
you heard a click of the tongue as you saw a pair of hands reaching to hold yours, making your hand move to the position as you picked up heeseungâs breath beside your ear. startled, your shoulder nudges against his chest as you hear a small âackâ before you throw the basketball, seeing it twirl in the air. you can hear heeseung saying âi told you so.â before it bounces against the backboard, but you are ready as you stride towards it to grab the ball before heeseung catches it and you quickly do a layup, gliding the ball as it bounces right at the small box above the rim as it bounces inside. you turn your body to face him, head tilted with a smug smile as the ball bounces before it rolls to heeseungâs feet.
but the smile falls as you see heeseung who is in his element, walking back to the three-point line and shooting his shot as the ball, once again, creates a perfect arc. the basket catches it into its net as heeseung walks towards the center of the court with a wide grin on his face. the ball bounces near you as you hold it and dribble once more, glancing at it, the court, and heeseung once again as you shake your head, scolding yourself to take things slow for your and your babiesâ sake. the sudden epiphany makes your eyelids flutter as you dribble away at a steady walking pace around the court.
your footsteps are met with another as heeseungâs legs stride towards you, a smirk on his face showing as he replies, âthatâs why you were put in the point guard position.â
âhmmâŠâ your reply is small as you continue to dribble away the basketball, making you and he walk around the court together before he cuts through the silence.
âwhy did you stop playing basketball in high school?â
your body stood still as you let your muscle memory do your job of dribbling the ball, shifting your head towards his even if you look away.
âyou were, well, it seems to be still are, good at it,â he added.
the memories of your first year in high school from the extracurricular showcase come back as you are already determined to stop playing basketball, focusing on doing something else that you were interested in.
âi got tired of it,â you replied, but heeseung seemed to notice that it was not all the truth.
âandâŠâ
the ball stops bouncing as you hold it against you, wrapping your arm across your front along with the ball as you glare at him and reply, âyou.â
âme?â
âyeah, you. i stopped playing because of you.â you turn around and set your eyes on the bench where your bag is. your water bottle calling for you so you can hydrate yourself as you give in.
âreally, huh? wow, that was another victory i didnât expect-â
âfucking hell, heeseung. thatâs why- this-â you gulped down your saliva, âwhat you become because of it is why i stop. i know our moms are outstanding basketball players at their time and weâve gotten the signal to be like them but-â you hold back as you throw the bottle inside the bag, holding yourself down as your hands form fists.
basketball has always been a large part of your life before you were even born. your mom and heeseungâs met because of their love of basketball as they became skilled players together. your mom and dad meet up because of basketball. you still remember the amount of pictures of your parents in their high school days in their basketball jerseys in the photo albums. even if they donât pursue it professionally, it still becomes a large part of their life as it also spills onto you.
with the amount of time you have interacted with childrenâas it makes you see your own experience as a child in a different viewâmany of them like to mimic what their parents do before they form their own sense of self. you can see it with the way one child at the daycare is always playing doctor with dolls, figures, and plushies because one of their parents is a doctor. you were like that. youâve heard and seen just how impactful basketball is to your mom that you want to be just like her, making you join the teams during your elementary and middle schools.
to see and feel the influence of your rival during practice and tournaments around you was overwhelming.
the tug-of-war between the basketball in between both of your hands is just the beginning of what kinds of rivalry you and him have during practice. even if your coaches assigned you to the same team, you or he, depending on who is first, will reach out to the coach to be put into the other team. even if you two had to practice together, hidden aggression is flying to the roof, which includes passing the ball so hard that it had even made your nose bleed. as time goes on and the many matches you and he have to compete in as you two have to watch each other to âencourageâ each otherâs team, you had notice the way you fell out of love of basketball because of how there are more bad memories associated with it even if you were being trusted as a captain for one season and scoring many buzzer beaters to let your team and school win the tournament.
âyouâve become so much better with it as i lost interest. i still remember when the coach brought me to the nurseâs office cause you passed the ball so hard that it hit my face. in the middle of practice for the last season in middle school, thatâs when i knewâŠâ you take steps closer as you now stand in front of him.
âi knew iâm in a losing battle against you.â
your muscles twitched as you wanted to let out a smirk when you noticed the hidden expression heeseung failed to hide, the little shock he had gotten to show. yet, the emotion that is enveloping you held it down, as you now had to tell him the truth. why your rivalry seemed to expand outside of the scope that both of you are in.
âthatâs why i quit basketball. thatâs why i decide to pursue my own path even with you tailing behind me to comment on my every move. because i am sick of you. yet, i held back. i had to retaliate, just like what i did on that fucking playground when we were 5. cause iâm not afraid of you even though i know iâll lost in the end.â you chew the inside of your cheeks as heeseung seems to read your face while letting his brain figure out what you meant.
âthatâs why i wanted a fucking truce.â
with the way your facial muscles contort, it hurts you more and more as you feel the tears of pain forming, harboring the feelings you have felt for nearly two decades now. with your hand raised, you wiped the small drop of tear as you let out a huge breath, feeling just a bit of the weight in your rivalry falls offâright along with you.
as you let your body sit on the concrete ground, you push yourself back slowly as you settle and lay on it. heeseungâs conflicted face peeking from your vision while youâre trying to blur it out by focusing on the night sky. though the light pollution is still around you, you can still see tiny specks of stars behind the shadow of clouds of the night. stretching your back on the ground as you let your backbone rest after trying to make you stand upright while carrying two growing fetuses.
eyelids close, you let nature take control in calming your emotions and let heeseung process the information himself. the first time you truly open up yourself behind the mask of your personaâmaybe when he stays the night in your childhood room is one as you recall your feet resting against his sleeping figure, contemplating if you want to wake him up or not before gazing at the dusting basketball that you decide to bring back to your apartment after papa helps in blowing more air so it doesnât sag too much.
the sound of rustling leaves seems to be louder as you rest still, hearing a muffled thump beside you as you open your eyes, looking at your feet to then find another pair lying down right beside yours.
âyouâre the one that was throwing a fit and ruining my toy truck after i apologized.â you sighed as you took a peek to see heeseungâs head turning towards you, asserting dominance once again before looking back. you knew that if you replied with the same vibe to assert your own dominance, it would actually break you apart faster than the rate that you are now. however, you have one question that will be the right one to ask him about.
âdid you mean that?â
ââmeanâ what?â
âthe apology? did you mean that? cause i want you to look at it from my eyes, lee.â
heeseung traces back to that memory when he sees you teary-eyed face and his mom beside him, the boys he was playing with snickering on the side as they saw him getting in trouble with his then-friend. the âsorryâ mumbled out of him with his eyes on you but mind on the boys, who seemed to not snicker at him, but at you for being a pissy fit. but, deep down, he knewâŠ
âi meant it.â his reply makes you turn your head, mirroring his form as you let out a slight pout.
âwith that smile you were giving? hell no-â you rolled your eyes.
âi genuinely meant it. the boys that were there, they were behind you and they were laughing at us. i had to juggle facing you and them. i had to look fierce yet still can give you an apology. maybe thatâs why you see the smirk that you see. i was a fucking child, (y/n). weâre not as good as we are not in hiding complicated emotions to only let out one.â
your chest rises and falls as you see the apology smirk in a different light. you donât know if you should easily believe that or not, but after taking it into consideration, you could feel a small part of your inner child healing up before you realize the damage that you also have done to him.
âif it is genuine; iâm sorry, then. about the truck. you know how i felt now and why i did that.â you return to look at the sky once again as you hear the rustle beside you before peeking at heeseung who is also staring into the night, listening to him humming before you return to gaze back again.
âwhat would happen if i actually have the emotional intelligence to know that you were sincere that day?â your words cut off the silence as you felt the guilt pouring for it to be transformed into humor that was reciprocated well by heeseungâs chuckles.
âwell, we wouldnât have these two.â he playfully poked your belly, making you let out a small shriek before holding onto his wrist as you held his hand down between the two of you and you pivoted your head to see him.
âin all seriousness, i think we might have been the friends our moms see us to be because let me tell you, they see us differently than what we are having.â his words are replied with a hum as you added,
âi notice that too. glad we can be more civil in front of them.â
âwe still could, you know.â
with the way you didnât hold on to his wrist tightly, you felt the limb moving under your touch before his palm rested underneath your own. the wind blows against your sweaty top as it gives you shivers from the cold, hoping that your own temperature and a lifeline can help warm it up. and you can feel it warmer as you see heeseung pivot to mirror you. his fingers slid between yours as if he knew the little shivered breath you led out.
âhave each otherâs backs. emulate what they want.â
your eyes are galloping to the way the spotlight shines half of his as the other one is cast in shadows from facing the concrete. you could smell a faint scent of alcohol on him but with the life in his eyes, you knew he wasnât drunk. the way his eyes are also peering with slight twitches as before connecting with your gaze.
pushing one side of your upper body, you cup onto heeseungâs cheek as he leans up to connect your lips. your shoulder is pushing down against the ground as heeseungâs grip on your hand tightens, making it steady as you can hear his muffled hum from your kiss. your fingers curl to hold yourself up better before you feel his other hand reach for your waist and push you down so you both lay on the side.
both of you take turns to take a breath as you sense the tip of his nose brushing against yours. every time you let out a breath, the otherâs lips linger before connecting once. your legs curled as you felt the ticklish sensation surging through your nerves before heeseung pushed your lower back so it could stay for one last long kiss before he pulled away. your noses touch each other as you feel his hand on your waist trails to your bump, pressing it down gently as you lean back to see him looking down at the body he is holding. then, his eyes flick back to you as he can sense you slip away, turning yourself away from him as you push yourself up with your arms.
grabbing the lone basketball and putting it in the duffle bag, you zip it up and shift to find heeseung now upright, yet still with his legs stretched out on the ground.
âbaby steps, heeseung.â you pull away before giving a small salute.
âbaby steps.â
your voice echoes as heeseung watches you walk away, biting his bottom lip before a chuckle falls out of him as he knows he had to text you back his question about the appointment, knowing that you will reply to him.
-
beomgyu breathed out as the elevator opened up to the now familiar hallway, holding onto the box that he had still had to bring even if heeseung already told him heâll do the next one himself because of what he told him. the box held fresh ingredients that jeongin also pinpointâcourtesy of his doctor momâon what you should eat, considering now that there are two of them inside you. beomgyu couldnât help but feel melancholic knowing that this was the last time heâd probably visit your apartment complex as⊠wellâŠ
but, other than bringing you todayâs box, beomgyu is here to pick you up for the doula appointment as heeseung will follow suit after practice. even his bandmates are weirded out as to why he has to do the errands, but knowing that theyâre in the process of rest mode whilst preparing to create new music and focusing on academics, he allows it, especially with how long he has been best friends with the guy.
he huffs as he positions the box again against his upper body, sliding his pointer finger to the bell as he picks up the familiar bell sounding in the room. but it seems like thereâs no one inside. heâs glad that he remembers the pin ryujin has given him as he pushes inside the door to see the clean empty living room of the apartment he has been in countless times when he had to put the box in himself. pushing off his shoes, he walks to the kitchen and places the box on the island counter before rushing towards the intercom to turn off the bell.
thatâs when he heard the noise of something familiar.
a guitar strumming sound of chords and the changes he recognized.
beomgyu took tiny steps towards one of the ajar doors in the hallway as the realization of the familiar sound widened his eyes. of course it was familiar to him, it was his song.
the nearly acoustic rendition of âskipping stonesâ with a familiar voice he had heard makes him peek through the door to find you sitting cross-legged on your bed, holding a nearly all-white guitar as you strum while having headphones on your head, singing the daylights out as your window lets the stream of lights in through the window. he lets you sing as he can see you glowâjeongin had mentioned to him that pregnant women have this whole glow on them. maybe thatâs what he was seeing in you. the way your fingers glide against the fretboard with your eyes on it or close as you sing the lyrics makes beomgyu mesmerized.
the last ring of strings strummed is heard from your rumble speaker when you notice clapping from outside of your headphones, making you look up to find beomgyu behind your slightly open door. his clapping turns to hollering as lets out a wide thin smile before looking away; you donât want him to see you flustered. that is when you realize why youâre here.
âoh fuck, the doula appointment.â
âyeah!â beomgyu replies outside as you quickly tidy the guitar up into your case and you step into your wardrobe to grab some more clothes that are much more appropriate for your appointment.
âsorry, about that. beom.â
ânah, no worries. i can wait.â
âthanks!â you close the door as you quickly change your clothes, deciding for a flowy blouse with a rubber-banded culotte, needing to remind yourself to buy maternity clothes because you are slowly running out of clothes that fit you. you wore a bit of sunscreen as you got a message from mama telling you to embrace the pregnancy glow your friends seemed to notice is exuding out of you as youâre in the second trimester. wearing the eau du toilette that doesnât make you as dizzyâunlike perfumeâyou open the door to see beomgyu leaning against the wall where it hangs a frame of you and your roommates in photo booths.
âyou ready?â he held his hand out as you nodded, you put your hands out before beomgyu grabbed the strap of the bag from your hold, startling you before you returned to your usual state. if your face isnât warm enough, itâs now warmer from the embarrassment.
the walk down to his car is silent as he helps with buckling the seatbelt to the side. seeing how much your stomach is rested underneath the strap makes him giggle as you recognize the smell of pot from beomgyuâs very appropriate old sedan car.
âhopefully you arenât high while driving me.â you give a cheeky grin.
âof course not. heeseung will actually kill me if he finds that i dui with you.â
beomgyu twists the key of the ignition as the car turns onâyes, thatâs how old his car isâas the sound of a loud rock song plays from the rock fm you recognized. his hand reaches for the button as you react,
âno need. iâm okay with it.â
he hums as he reaches for the volume to turn the sound down, not letting the rattling of the sound in the interior startle you as he pulls the car out of the parking space and into the road.
âcan you check the quickest route to the office?â beomgyu said as he brushed his wolf-cut hair.
âof course.â you lean back against the leather seat as you open the map app on your phone, telling beomgyu the roads to the doulaâs office. the song has changed to a familiar song by tom petty playing as you notice how beomgyu glances at you.
âwhat?â you called out with a few chuckles.
âi didnât expect you to like my song, well txtâs song.â his reply is met with your own giggle as you lean back.
âeven if i hate heeseung. that doesnât mean i have to hate his friends, you know?â
your eyebrow is raised as he gives another quick look before focusing on the road, âif you donât believe me, iâve been a fan of band your band since, like, sophomore year when you formed.â
âwhy? i really wanna hear from a fan's perspective.â
your giggle warms his heart as you answered, âi just relate to it, ya hear? a band that talks about the hardships of finding oneself and the struggle of growing but in a more intelligible way other, especially âskipping stonesâ from your newest album.â
both of beomgyuâs hands are on the steering wheel as you feel the brake of the car before turning to the curb of where the office is, parking nearest to the entrance as the car stops and he pulls the hand brake. both of you sitting inside as you waited for heeseung to arrive in a few minutes from the last time he texted you.
âwhy âskipping stonesâ specifically?â
âhmmâŠâ you suppressed the grin that is threatening to go out before replying with, âinterpreting self-struggle with the idea of skipping stone is⊠in it of itself, very poignant. to correlate the body of water with your own and the stones youâre throwing as the struggle youâre facing.â you let out a huge sigh, âi donât know- itâs something i understand, especially if someone else is doing the skipping stone to you, feeling that emotion sinking into you, replacing the waterâs placeâŠâ
you glanced at beomgyu who was definitely staring at you, his hands on his lap as he let out a solemn smile, agreeing with what you said. you quietly nod and take a sharp intake, trying to find the right words to cut the rising awkwardness between the two of you, âother than that, the freaking dissonance on the harmony is so good. it gives a sense of unbalanced buoyancy as if youâre a leaf floating on the water and the skipping stone makes it unstable. great job on that.â
âthanks!â
âof course.â you nearly slapped yourself for leaning closer to the middle console, but beomgyu seemed to not react as much when you felt a bit of your finger touching his. âcanât wait for the next release. no pressure.â
the corner of beomgyuâs lips rose as he giggled, a boyish grin on his face before his expression changed, âdonât worry, me and the band wonât let the fans down.â he replied as you leaned back, head nodding. thatâs when you hear the rumbling of the car right beside yours as you see the appearance of heeseungâs newer model car.
âgotta go. thank you so much for bringing me here,â you said as beomgyu helped pick your bag up from the backseat.
âof course, (y/n). gotta have to thank heeseung for letting me do so, but heyâŠâ you felt his hand reaching and now touching your wrist, making you turn your body while nearly opening the door.
âi've known you since high school but we never hang out together cause of heeseung. maybe we could hang out, with your girls and my guys? if heeseung is already melting his ice down then i think thatâs okay for us and our friends to hang out. itâs up to you, though.â
you suppress an amused smile as you think about it. thinking about how long have you been crushing on the boy in front of you and how you wanna shake heeseung a thank you for letting him do the errands, maybe even to your noise-canceling headphones that make him notice just how much you like him- no, his band. yeah.
âiâll think about it. heeseung and i donât have a formal truce yet but based on what we talked about last time, maybe it could work.â
âsweet-â
you heard a knocking on the door before you turned around to catch heeseungâs silhouette behind the glass window.
âiâll talk to the girls so we can arrange a time.â
âme too with the guys.â
âokay, bye beomgyu.â the car door unlocks as you nuzzle the door open while hearing beomgyuâs own âbyeâ from the driverâs seat. heeseung helps to hold the door as you step out.
âthanks for her ride, gyu.â
âdonât mention it, hee. we might even have to ride with her often.â beomgyu said right as the door that heeseung held closed. the engine turns on as the car drives off the parking. you stand right beside heeseung as he looks at you, who still has a lingering smile on your face.
âwhy are you smiling, (y/n)?â
he lightly nudges your palm with his as you turn your head to him.
âyouâll see, hee.â as you took off towards the office, leaving heeseung once again alone as he then followed you.
SYNOPSIS where university student jake develops a little crush on the girl he sees with a cigarette between her lips in the smoking area and decides he needs to impress her. how else would he do that except calling his smoker friend to teach him how to smoke ( spoiler: it doesnât go so well. )
GENRE smau, fluff, crack, sprinkle of angst if you read it upside down, golden retriever x black cat duo
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ê€ DESCRIPTION: âthey say we fall in love three times in our lifetime: our first love is the one that breaks us, leaves us hopeless and lost, this then brings us to our second love, the one which picks up the broken pieces of our heart and mends it back together; heals us from the heartache the first left and lastly, our third and final loveâ€the love thatâs supposed to last. for you, your best friend sim jaeyun happens to be two out of three.â
ê€PAIRING: best friend!jake x f!reade & second lead!jungwon
ê€GENRE(S): slice of life!au, soulmate(?)!au
ê€WORD COUNT: 23.9k
ê€WARNING(S): loss of virginity, soft dom!jake, sub!reader, oral (f!receiving), p in v intercourse, no protection, drugging (not the reader), underaged drinking, swearing, dry humping, mentions of plan b, mentions of hospitals, possessive!jungwon, mentions of sobriety, heartbreak, allusions to depression, mentions of drinking and smoking, mentions of passing out.
ê€A/N: i think i have a thing for sim jaeyun and angst.
âJaeyunie, meet ____. You and her are gonna be best friends.âÂ
Jakeâs mother smiles, a hand lightly on his back, and pushes him forward with a gentle pat.
The moment she steps away from his side however, he panics, looking back at her desperately. Heâs met with a smile of encouragement - caring but unsympathetic. Jake swallows harshly, shyness heavy in his throat, and uses all the willpower in his 9 year old body to force himself to look at the small female.
Standing across from him, a girl of roughly the same stature is grinning toothily - or at least she could've been, if sheâd had enough teeth. ____, was dressed neatly, her hair laid down with lots of gel and two ponytails with bows holding it all together. Her light purple dress swayed as the gentle breeze blew. In one chubby fist she clutched tightly onto her fathers hand. Jake blushed, if he didnât firmly believe that girls had cooties he would have sworn her to be the prettiest girl heâs ever laid eyes on so instead he scrunches his nose and says the first thing that comes to his mind and knows will hurt her feelings.
âYouâre dirty,â he proclaimes, crossing his arms. âVery dirty.â
At his words, ____âs smile quickly falters and an almost angry look overtakes her face. âAm not!â Sensing his daughter's growing fury, her father steps in.
â____ah, calm down. Iâm sure Jaeyun didnât mean it, why donât you two spend some time together? Hm? Iâm sure youâll be best friends.â
Not giving his daughter any time to argue, he excuses himself and leaves to go join the other adults by the varanda.
____ crosses her arms and stares up at Jake intimidatingly, âapologize.â
Jake gulps, although heâs a whole head taller than the girl and probably even older, he canât help but be slightly scared of the icy glare sheâs sending his way so he meekly mumbles, âIâm sorryâ
However, it doesnât seem as if ____ is pleased with the half assed apology. She raises an eyebrow and impatiently taps her foot on the grass, âfor what?â
He gulps, âfor calling you dirty, I didnât mean it.â
Satisfied with the apology, a wide smile breaks out on ____âs face before she doubles over from laughing so hard. âY-you should have seen your face!â She abruptly stands and quivers her bottom lip as she stares at Jake, âI-Iâm s-s-sorry.â She breaks out into laughter once again, unable to hide her amusement. Jake only frowns and crosses his arms.
âItâs not funny.â
Ignoring his embarrassment, ____ walks right up to him and slings an arm around his neck, âLetâs be best friends forever, yah, Jaeyunie?â
Usually Jake would have scolded anyone who called him Jaeyunie, his mother and hyung being the only exceptions, but for some reason hearing the name slip out so easily from your mouth seemed comforting. âOkay,â he agreed, slightly hesitant. âYou seem kinda stupid, so I can still be number one with you as my best friend.â
You only smiled in response, delighted, before spinning on your heel and running back to your mother and father, who were talking animatedly with his own parents.
What a strange girl, Jake thought. At least she wouldn't be competition.
___
Later that night, both of Jakeâs parents and your mother and father were sitting at the table discussing grown-up things while you were in the bathroom and Jake was sitting beside his brother when his name filtered through to his ears. He had been in the process of stabbing the greens off his plate and slowly feeding them to his precious dog Layla when his parents werenât looking, but at the mention of his name he perks up instantly.Â
â...Jake has already been offered scholarships to private middle schools once he finishes elementary but heâll be attending the private international school his elder brother goes to,â she was bragging again.
Your mother perks up as well, âWow, thatâs so incredible, Suyeon. I think being friends with Jaeyun will really help ____ find some initiative. Sheâs already so used to being good at things, a little healthy competition is just what she needs.â
Jakeâs father nods, gesturing for the maid in the corner to bring over the bottle of wine. âItâs certainly going to help with that. While weâre on this topic, Iâd like to invite you to join our study group. We have the best tutors come in and teach the kids after school but only the best of the best are allowed to join, ____ shows a lot of promise.â
Jake listens nervously, watching his father as the maid filled his glass and stepped back.
youâreâŠ.smart?
His mother notices him staring, and reaches over to tousle his hair affectionately. âDonât worry, Jaeyunie,â she croons. âYouâll still be number one. Being friends with kids that are as smart as you is a good thing! You and ____ will have lots more to talk about than you would with anyone else.â
He frowns. He knew sometimes parents lied to kids to stop them from being sad, but his mother would never lie to him. Jake was too clever, heâd figure out the lie before she finished telling it.
âAlright.â He found himself cautious for the second time that day. âAs long as I can still be number one.â
Jake in fact did not stay number one for long.
Once you had fully settled into your new life in Australia your grades skyrocketed causing your teachers to bump you up a grade, placing you into Jakeâs class, the two of you always went head to head vying for the first rank and each time Jake always fell a point behind.
It aggravated him to no end that you came out of nowhere and completely upended his whole life and identity, Jake had always been the smart one and never had any solid competition so having you seemingly pop out of nowhere and take away the very thing that made him, well him agitated him beyond belief.
But of course this made for a great friendship, while Jake claimed he hated your very existence he soon found himself looking forward to your after school study sessions. You never took them seriously, you always goofed off and made it your life's mission to teach Jake the meaning of fun. It took a while for the boy to warm up to you but you managed to get on his good side with a little bribing of fried chicken and grape soda.
The two of you would wait until your break to sneak out to the fried chicken place down the street to pick up the order you had placed during your tutoring session before heading back to hide in one of the various rooms inside Jakeâs spacious home. The two of you would use this time to talk about the annoyances in your life, you would mostly complain about the girls who kept coming up to you to confess their love for Jake and how you were growing quite annoyed with having to turn them down on his behalf. He would only grimace and quickly change the topic to how annoyed he was with you for yet again topping the class rank.
Slowly but surely though, as the two of you began to age, the conversations began to change as he warmed up to you, what used to be pointless bickering and complaining turned into meaningful deep conversations about his fear of attachment, rooted in his father constantly leaving him and his family to go back to Korea for his job overseas. You had slowly become the only constant in Sim Jaeyunâs life and he truly had no intentions of letting you go. You really had become his best friend just like his mother predicted all those years ago.
While it might have taken Jake some time to love you, you loved him from the start. While everyone saw him as the perfect all rounder student you knew he was more than that. You knew he wasnât perfect, wasnât some ace who was just naturally talented. No, he worked just as hard- if not harder than his peers to keep up the image he was born to fit. He pulled all-nighters to bring home grades suitable for the assemblyman's son, immersed himself in after school clubs to fill up his resume because God forbid he wasnât preparing for college at the ripe age of 9, learned multiple languages to become an ambassador for the school and threw himself into learning different instruments and playing different sports to really bring home the title of being an all-rounder.
In everything he pursued, he aced and came out on top. Which is why it irked him to his very core when you came around and knocked him down a peg. You knew right away just how much it bothered him, of course he complained about it every day during your group tutoring sessions but you didnât really care. If anything it was motivation for you to work even harder to maintain the top spot.
You werenât doing it out of spite or to intentionally anger him, no you were doing it to show him itâs okay to not always be perfect. Itâs okay to rank second, itâs okay to goof off during tutoring sessions when studying is all you ever do, itâs okay to eat junk food when you feel like it and most importantly itâs okay to talk through your emotions with someone. You like to think you ranked first for his own good, to help him realize life is more than just school.
When the two of you reached high school you eased up with working so hard for the top rank but Jake didnât, he studied all of your summer break before freshman year and placed into a year above you. It annoyed you that you were no longer graduating together but Jake became more lax and carefree knowing he would be graduating a year early, it was refreshing to see a new side of your best friend. Somewhere along the grades of 11 and 12 though, something shifted.
Jake was never unattractive but you never really took note of just how attractive he could be until your junior year.
___
âHeâs gonna say no, Sarah.â
âWeâre just looking out for you. Heâs always hanging out with ____. Theyâre probably secretly dating, why donât you just ask someone else?â
âI donât know why youâre so set on him. I heard heâs already turned down six girls this month. six.â
Jake was just trying to get his calc homework done, bent over in the back of the library with his textbook open in front of him, eyes glued to the page. He spares you a frantic look, desperate to get your attention and convey that it was time to leave before it happened again.Â
You, of course, were not paying attention. You were splayed out haphazardly on the chair across from him, headphones in and scribbling in your notebook. You had a smudge of graphite on your nose from scratching it in the middle of your doodling session.
You hum peacefully, completely unaware of your friend's turmoil.
It was everywhere. Prom. It was one stupid night, and he was fully planning on spending it wrapped up in blankets in his living room with you watching romcoms. It was the senior prom and he refused to attend a social event he knew you wouldnât be at.
Unfortunately, Jake was alone in that feeling, the girls whispering from the table behind the two of you were right. Heâd been asked six times. Six excruciating experiences of being cornered by a near stranger who smiled too sweetly and asked him to be their date, six separate occasions on which heâd stuttered a âsorryâ and bowed deeply, ducking out before they could say any more.
And by this point, he just really, really didnât want to have to turn down another girl. He felt like absolute crap.
Jake reaches out, tugging at your school uniform. â____â he whisper-yells.
You shrug him off and pout, âyouâll mess me up. Stop.â
He persists however, this time more aggressive and even goes the extra mile and pulls out one of your airpods. âIâll buy you dinner please can we just go?â
You finally look up from your work slightly agitated and a full on pout graces your lips, if it were any other time Jake would take a moment to admire how adorable you look but it wasnât.
âWhy do you wanna leave so badly?â you huff out.
Before Jake can answer though heâs cut off by Sarah, one of the girls who has made her way over to your table.
âJake?â
At the mention of his name his eyes squeeze shut and it hits you like a truck on why he was so adamant to leave. This time itâs the girl from his IB Latin class who he tutored on occasion.
She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, you wonder what Jakeâs response is going to be this time. Sheâs very pretty.
âYes?â He croaks out. Behind him, you sit up in your seat, ready to step in if needed.
She looks down, hands twisting together and fidgets and steps side to side, but when she sucks in a sharp inhale and looks up her eyes are filled with determination. Jake feels queasy, almost as if heâs about to vomit.
âDo you maybe want to go to prom with me?â
Jake swallows the lump in his throat, guilt twisting everything into a knot. You see his knuckles turn white as he makes a fist and you resume your drawing, knowing what his answer will be.
âIâm sorry,â he manages. âBut I donât plan on going.â
Your brow shoots up in shock, you never figured he was rejecting all these girls because he simply didnât want to go, you thought he was just waiting for the right moment to ask the girl he truly wanted to go with. You never asked why he was so closed off about prom, you figured he would tell you in his own time when he was ready.
âCan I ask why?â She lets her hands fall to her side. âEven if you donât wanna go with me, I think youâd have a lot of fun.â She retreats back to her friends before he can respond. Jake tries not to notice the way they shake their heads sympathetically and pat her back in comfort.
âSheâs right you know, prom would be fun.â you say as you shut your sketchbook. âPlus, she seems really sweet.â
Jake rolls his eyes âyou sound like my mom.â
âHa ha,â you drawl, stretching and arching off the chair like a cat. âI really donât understand why you donât want to go. Itâs your last chance to enjoy a high school dance.â
The previous year, while you were in your sophomore year and Jake in his junior year he skipped out on prom, choosing to attend his model UN conference instead as his dad had put an emphasis on how much more important the meeting was compared to prom.
Jake shrugs and reaches for your backpack to pull out some snacks you packed for him, âit makes it real.â
âMakes what real?â you tilt your head to the side and patiently wait for him to collect his thoughts to elaborate on what was bugging him.
Jake sighs. âThat this is the end.â he mummers, âafter prom itâs graduation, and after grad Iâm off to the states for uniâŠaway from you.â
Your heart skips a beat and your hands start to get clammy at his words. You try to subtly rub your hands on your skirt and sit up straighter, confused as to why his words have such a strong effect on you.
âWeâve never spent more than a week apart from each other and now weâre going to be thousands of miles apart for a year. I canât go to prom knowing you wonât be there and that it brings me one step closer to leaving.â he continues, he doesnât look at you as he lays his emotions bare for you, rather he focuses on organizing his snack options.
Your heart twinges at the reminder that he was leaving for Yale in the fall, this would be the last summer spent together for who knows how long. As much as the reminder upsets you, you still plaster a smile on your face and playfully roll your eyes.
âDid you forget our promise? You and me, forever and always. We have all of summer to make as many memories as we went and even after you leave we can facetime, technology has come a long way yâknow.â You reach out to take the bag of chips he had settled on eating to open for him before handing it back. âDistance means nothing. Iâll always have time for my best friend, plus when I go to Harvard Iâll only be two hours away. Enjoy the time you have left in Australia. You'll probably miss it more than me when you actually leave.â
Jake shakes his head, âdoubt it but you do make a valid point.â
You smirk and shrug, âwhen do I not?â You clear your throat. âDoes this mean youâll go to prom?â
He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth and tilts his head side to side before asking, âgo to prom with me?â
This time you canât hide your shock, itâs not odd for you and Jake to be pairs for most social events but for some reason him asking you to be his date for his first and only prom causes heat to rise to your cheeks.
âW-what?â
âWhat? I canât see myself going with anyone else, Iâm most comfortable around you. Plus when I think back to my senior prom I want to remember how much fun I had and when Iâm with you all the stress Iâm under suddenly doesnât matter anymore.â He states.
âStop being corny,â you hiss weakly, fumbling with the straps on your bag. âItâs not a good look.â
Jake giggles, âwhat? Do you want me to get down on my knees instead? Do a promposal?â
Your eyes widen, mortified at the idea of him putting together a grandiose promposal. âYouâre such a little shit, I swearââ
âHold on, siri play stand by me by beââ
You pick up your sketchbook and hurl it at his head causing him to duck out of the way and fall out of his chair onto the floor with the force of his laughter. Hearing his laugh causes a pinch in your heart.
When he finally manages to pull himself together and off the ground, he wipes at his eyes and sighs. âSeriously, though.â He hums. âWill you go to prom with me?â
You swallow thickly, averting your eyes to the floor. âSure.â you say quietly. âI guess so.â
You're uncharacteristically nervous for prom. Your mom insisted on taking the day off from work to help you get ready when you told her Jake had asked you to go with him.
You thought she was being dramatic but she swore up and down, left and right- that this was the beginning to your âblooming love storyâ.
She brought you to a salon to have your hair and makeup done and even splurged on a $900 dress. Youâre beyond grateful to have a mother as understanding and loving as she is. Your father is away on business and unable to make it to take pictures so your mom has been documenting the whole day to share with him, the two of you are currently in your bedroom as she paints your toes.
âMom?â
She hums in reply and puts down a new coat of nail polish on your big toe. âHowâd you know dad was the one?â
Your heart is quiet in your chest, a calm thumping rather than the stutter it had been at all week as you wait for her response. She softly smiles before responding.
âHe showed up to my dorm room with pedialyte and carpet cleaner.â She caps the nail polish and cleans around the edges of your toes. âWe had been dating for some time and I was supposed to attend a business summit with him but I had a stomach bug and threw up all over my dorm. Your dad didnât hesitate to drop his plans for the day and showed up to take care of me. He was the first person to ever put me before anything else and I just knew I loved him when he showed up with no clue on what to do but willing. He didnât care about what his dad had to say about skipping the event or anything else, just me.â
You hum and fiddle with your hands as you think back to moments youâve shared with Jake. The first one your brain recalls is the first time you got your period. Unfortunately it happened during your school's nature classroom trip. You were up in the woods for the week learning about nature and science through different activities and during your first night there you got your period. You walked around the whole day with blood stains on your shorts and cramps you couldnât account for. You were beyond embarrassed come dinner time. You had no girl friends in the grade to ask for help and the boys made it a show of embarrassing you at dinner by pouring ketchup all over your seat. Jake was having none of it though, he came up to you at your table and wrapped his hoodie around your waist before grabbing your arm and leading you out of the canteen to the nurse on site.
He stayed by your side that night watching stand by me on your phone outside the cabins getting bit by mosquitoes. He didnât complain or make any jokes of his own, rather stayed silent and let you have the quiet time you needed. When the two of you finally retreated back to your separate rooms you found a little gift basket on your bed filled with different types of pads, tampons, a heating pack and some chocolates. Apparently while you were walking around with stained shorts Jake was going around collecting different menstrual items from the girls in your grade to give to you, his way of helping.
It did make your heart flutter at the time but you chalked it up to your period hormones and never spoke on how it made you feel to anyoneâŠWas that when you started to fall in love with your best friend?
Your doorbell goes off and you feel anxiety seep into your bones. Your mom senses this and holds your hand to give it a firm squeeze. âdonât stress about something youâre not sure about, okay? I want you to have fun tonight - both of you.â
You nod at her, loving how she knows exactly what was plaguing your mind, you let her lead you out your room and out to the living room. She lets go of your hand and walks over to the door, opening it wide.
âWow.â You and Jake exclaim simultaneously as soon as you see each other. The butterflies in your stomach erupt once again at the sight of him; dressed in an sleek black suit with the first three buttons of his black undershirt undone, his hair has been bleached blonde and styled down with a part in the middle.
âYou lookâŠamazing.â Jake breathlessly lets out, staring at you in complete awe.
You blush and flatten out invisible wrinkles in your dress. âThank you so do you, I love your hair.â
He smiles and shakes his fringe out of his eyes, âthanks. Figured why not try something new. Ready to go?â
âWoah woah woah, hold on, you two arenât going anywhere without taking pictures!â His mom appears from behind him, âLet me go get my phone real quick!â
Your mom claps her hands as scurries off to retrieve her phone, âOh, yes! I have to take pictures for your dad.â
Jake walks up next to you and youâre sure your heart is about to beat out of your chest. âYou look really great, ____.â
âYouâre not so bad yourself. Blonde was a great idea.â You bring your hand up to fix his parting a bit more. âItâs a nice contrast with the all black suit.â
âYeah.â He swallows, looking down at his shoes.
âOkay! I have my phone!â Your mom says as she returns, instructing both of you to move out to her garden in the backyard and stand by the peonies for the photo.
âThis might take a while.â You whisper to him and he chuckles, gently placing a hand on your lower exposed back.
âWonât you get cold later?â
You shrug, âprobably. Good thing your mother raised you to be a gentleman.â It takes him a second to register your words, scoffing in disbelief once he realizes what you were hinting towards but he doesnât argue knowing he really will give you his jacket the second he sees you shiver.
âSmile!â
___
After a long process of taking pictures the two of you finally head out with Jake driving you guys to prom. Upon arriving youâre amazed at how extravagant the venue looks. Just another perk of attending a private school you think to yourself.
After finding parking the two of you head inside to find your table, youâre sharing it with your two friends Kairo and Mei and a random couple who snagged their tickets at the last minute (Jun and Luna).
âJake! ____!â Kairo and Mei are in the entryway to the ballroom, waiting for the two of you where they texted they would be standing.
Mei walks forward, a greeting never making it past her lips, as she reaches out to brush Jakeâs fringe out of his eyes. âSorry, it was bothering me.â She mumbles as she steps back.
You know her intentions are innocent but with the way Jakeâs cheeks flush red and he can barely meet her gaze you feel a twinge of jealousy and sadness. Since when was he flustered by Mei? The four of you met during SAT Prep and formed your own study group to help each other out during midterms and finals your freshman year (Jakeâs sophomore) the dynamic between you all was pretty formal. The four of you didnât make plans to go to the movies or the mall like other kids your age, it was strictly studying and neither of you minded it. Kairo and Mei fulfilled you and Jake in an academic sense while you and Jake met all your social and more emotional needs together.
So why the hell was he all blushy at Mei fixing his hair? Why didnât he react the same when you fixed his parting?
âShould we go in?â Kairo asks.
âThat sounds great,â you grit out, your grip tightening on your clutch.
Mei slides up next to Kairo and slips her arm back through his. The four of you walk in and find your table. Kairo pulls out Meiâs seat and Jake follows, doing the same for you.
âSo Jake, are you excited for commencement?â Mei asks once youâve all taken your seats.
Jake clears his throat, âmore nervous than excited. Canât believe itâs all finally over.â
The three of them go back and forth in idle talk before Jake slowly eases his way out of the conversation, mindlessly nodding at what your friends are saying and leaving you to your thoughts.
Heâs uncharacteristically silent though as he bobs his head to the music. Seeing as you know him better than yourself, you know heâs nervous - but why?
Was he thinking of Mei? The thought makes you feel sick; you have no reason to be jealous because youâre just his best friend and your feelings are a jumbled mess you canât navigate through- you donât even know what you want from him. He canât fix what he doesnât know is broken.
Your mind is absolutely blank as you stare down at your hands on your lap. You only snap out of it when a large hand engulfs yours, but you donât dare to look at him. You canât.
âAre you okay?â
There they are again; the stupid butterflies winding up in the confines of your stomach. âYeah,â You remove his hands from yours, âIâm fine.â
Jake reluctantly lets you pull his hand away, knowing somethingâs wrong but he doesnât want to push. You compose yourself and remind yourself about your words to Jake; this is his last school dance. It needs to be memorable.
So youâll make it memorable.
As the night goes on with the food served and multiple performances happening, youâre able to loosen up and forget your worries.
âDo you want to join the dance floor?â Kairo asks as he eyes the growing dance floor.
âNo.â You frantically respond, earning a look of judgment from Mei.
âYes!â She exclaims, grabbing both you and Kairo before dragging you out of your seats with a gleeful giggle.
You try to grab on to Jake for help, but your hand merely grazes his as youâre pushed to the dance floor. On the dance floor, other people have jumped into the idea of dancing and in no time, itâs filled with dancing students.
A little while later, Jake joins the three of you and your little dance circle moves around each other for a few songs; youâre all laughing and youâre genuinely starting to enjoy yourself. Eventually, Kairo and Mei leave to go take a breather leaving you alone with Jake.
âAre you feeling any better?â He leans down to your ear and tries to speak over the loud music.
You nod, âYe-â
Youâre cut off by the loud upbeat music dying out and picking back up but this time a soft violin intro fills the room, you recognize the song instantly. The live orchestra begins playing the chorus of nobody gets me by Sza, you watch as everyone around you pairs up and when you turn around, Jake is already looking at you with a small smile tugging on his lips.
His ears are tinged pink as he offers you a shrug, âDo you wanna dance?â He holds out his hand to you.
You take it with baited breath and immediately at the touch, the butterflies are at it again. You step closer to him and place your other hand on his shoulder while his other goes to your back, where your skin is exposed.
Heâs gone back to being unusually quiet again; heâs just leading you to the slow beat of the song and looking away, only meeting your eyes when he catches your lingering gaze.
â____, youâve been out of it all night. Are you really okay?â He quietly asks, his brows furrowing.
âIâŠâ For a moment, you consider confessing whatâs weighing on your heart but you panic. How would he react if he knew?
â____?â
âI think Iâm in love with you.â You blurt out, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as soon as the words come out. You feel a little lighter knowing youâve said your peace but your heart races in panic as you wait for his response.
âOh,â Jake whispers. It could have been your imagination but you swear his eyes look just as dizzy and unfocused as your own. His lips part maybe to say something more, but close as quickly as they opened and his gaze flickers down to your lips.
âI-â You choke on your words, shame and regret instantly flooding your body. You want to curl up and hide in a hole but you canât. Jake is holding on to you too tightly and youâve already let the cat out of the bag. Might as well get it all off your chest. âI-I donât know when it happened but I know my feelings arenât platonic anymore. Youâre all I can ever seem to think about, when you touch me it feels like butterflies are swimming in my stomach and the thought of you even being interested in someone else makes me sick to my stomach.â
You take a deep breath, âI think Iâm in love with you Jake. I love the little things that make you Jake, your obsession with math and physics, your ability to make anyone you speak to feel truly seen, how you rely on God to get you through hardships you face.â You continue to drone on and on about the quirks you love about your best friend, not noticing the way his lips tip upward in a wide grin.
âI love you.â You confess.
â____?â He asks, voice even.
âYeah?â
âStay still.â
Jake steps forward and wraps his hand delicately around the back of your neck, he doesnât miss the way your hooded eyes follow his movement. He stands up straighter, heâs so close that your noses brush against each other ever so slightly.Â
The flush on Jakeâs cheekbones is clear as day, a lovely rose pink.
He takes one final deep breath and leans in to plant a kiss on your awaiting lips. The moment your lips touch, you feel a spark of electricity jolt through your body but as quick as it comes, however, and before you can react, heâs already swiftly pulling away.
When the two of you pull back, your eyes are wide open, gaze fixed on Jakeâs face, his lips left slightly parted. His entire body is vibrating with warmth and anxiety, hardly able to keep still.
Jake stares at you, still feeling the desire pooling in his stomach, and wonders if he had made a mistake.
â____,â Jake calls, quietly. â____.â
He begins to hold his breath. Did he overstep?
âDid youâŠâ You begin, eyes wide, flickering rapidly across his face. âDid youâŠjustâŠâ
âYeah,â Jake replies, his voice cracking a tad. âYeah, I did.â
Thereâs a silence between the two of your for a long second before you collect your bearings and clear your throat and say,
âDo it again.â
Jake feels numb, unable to be shaken or moved by the world around him, so he steps back in and tilts his head to the side, kissing you once again like you asked.Â
You can barely hear the crowd around you over the sound of your own heartbeat. Jake kisses you softly, almost shyly. A gentle hand slides down to your hip, anchoring you in place, a solid touch while the rest of the world slowly fades away.Â
You canât think about anything other than the feeling of Jakeâs lips finally on your own. You continue to kiss Jake until you feel his hand leave your hip and he gently pulls his lips away.
You keep your eyes shut for a second longer, body thrumming with warmth and energy, you feel Jakeâs forehead knock against yours after a beat. When you finally open your eyes, like always, Jake was staring right back at you.
âI love you too.â
Following prom you feel as though youâre on cloud nine. After your shared confessions and heated kisses Jake took you outside of the venue to discuss where things would go from here. He only had three more months left in Australia before he had to leave for Yale but he knew he would be a fool if he let you go.
The two of you came to the conclusion that you would take things slow and enjoy the little time you had together working towards being a couple and pick things back up once you graduated and made your way to the states to join Jake.
Things truly felt perfect, Jake would come by your home every now and then to take you on impromptu dates with a new bouquet everytime and an explanation on why he chose those specific flowers. On days where he was too busy getting ready for his upcoming semester to take you out, you would pack him little lunches and drive the two of you down to the park you would often visit in your childhood and have little picnics while listening to him go on about how excited he was for the physics program at Yale.
The people who had been in your lives and watched you grow up together were thrilled at the direction in which your relationship was going. Both your parents were delighted when Jake broke the news that you were officially seeing each other on a romantic level working towards eventually dating. You would often have Sunday brunch together after going to church with his family and yours before sneaking off to his room to cuddle on his bed for an afternoon nap.
Had you known this is what would come with confessing, you would have told Jake way sooner but sadly, time had passed and the date of Jakeâs departure from Australia was fastly approaching. He has a week left and heâs determined to make it the best one yet.
âLet's road trip to Sydney.â
You stop fiddling with Jake's fingers and turn your head to look up at him from your position on his chest. âWhat?â
He smiles down at you before placing a quick kiss to your forehead. âYou heard me, letâs take a road trip to Sydney.â
You playfully roll your eyes. âYeah I heard you dummy but why?â
He shrugs and entwines your hands once more. âWhy not? Itâs my last week and we talked about road tripping down there for spring break but someone,â he pauses to poke at your side with his free hand drawing out some giggles form you his heart warming at the sound, â-just had to get sick the night before we were supposed to leave.â
You let out a groan, âyouâre never going to let that go are you?â Jake hums, âabsolutely not.â
You huff in thought, âitâs a nine hour drive JakeâŠâ
He sits up forcing you to do the same as well, turning to face him. âWe can take turns. Plus my flightsâ leaving from Sydney, we could go to the airport together and have a proper goodbye without my parents bugging us.â
You bite down on your lip seriously considering Jakeâs impromptu idea. Within the past three months youâve had to share Jake with so many people- his soccer team, his orchestra friends, his family. Everyone. Alone time was scarce and the thought of a getaway to Sydney where it would be just the two of you and no distractions sounded lovely.
âOkay.â
âOkay? Just like that?â
You hum and move to sit on his lap and throw your hands over his shoulders. âWhy not?â
A huge smile breaks out on Jake's face causing you to smile as well, something about seeing him happy always managed to bring you happiness. It should be scary, just how willing you are to sacrifice for Jake but for some reason you always throw caution to the wind the second he comes around. Youâd give him the world if you could.
You feel Jake wrap his arms around your waist and slowly slide his hands under your shirt to caress your back. âWhat's going on in that pretty head of yours, love?â
You begin playing with the hair on the nape of his neck and whisper out, âthinking boutâ how I'd give you the world.â Jakeâs hands pause at the base of your back, clearly caught off guard, you look down at his eyes and see how dark theyâve gotten. Desire and love pooling in the hues of his brown eyes. âYou are my world.â
He leans in as he finishes his sentence and places his lips on yours. The feeling of his lips is incredibly warm as he pushes them against yours, slightly chapped but otherwise still soft. The amount of emotion he puts into kissing you isnât like anything you felt before, thereâs more desire in this kiss compared to all the others youâve shared. The feeling of his tongue sweeping against the plumpness of your lower lip and the heat from his body sends butterflies to your stomach.
His hands fall down to your hips, pushing up your t-shirt to feel the softness of your stomach beneath his palms with battered breaths before pushing you back. He makes quick work of flipping you so your back is now on the mattress and itâs him straddling you. You gasp at the feeling of the soft mattress beneath you, his body pinning you deeper back as he continues exploring your mouth with his own.
You pull back slightly, breathing heavily and your lips red and plump with saliva. Jake smirks at the sight, his thumb coming up to pull down your bottom lip with the tip of his finger before moving his mouth to the sensitive skin of your neck.
The strands of his hair are silky beneath your fingertips, gasping and tugging at the roots as he bites down on a certain area of your neck that makes your core clench.
âJaeyun,â you whisper, whimpering at the feeling of his palm applying pressure lightly against your navel. âAre we-?â
He slowly pulls away from you and adamantly shakes his head. âNo.â you whine in protest as he pulls away and lays beside you once more. He pulls you close to his chest before confessing to you. âI want our first time to be romantic, not some quick fuck in my bedroom.â He kisses your temple. âYou deserve more than that.â
The Following Day - 1:36PM
âReady to head out?âÂ
You whirl around to find Jake standing in front of you and your parents, having just finished packing your suitcases in the trunk of his car and is now looking over at you with a tilt in his head.Â
You nod and smile brightly. âOf course,â You say, turning to your mom and dad to bid them one fast farewell. âI was just saying bye.âÂ
He nods in understanding, waving to your parents, âI promise weâll be safe and if anything happens youâll be the first we call.â He says to reassure your parents, more so your dad who was a bit more hesitant to the last minute idea.
Your dad nods stiffly at Jake, âtake good care of her. No drinking or scandalous activities, Iâm not ready for any grandchildren.â
You gasp at your dads words and swat at his chest. âDad! Stop embarrassing me!â He only tisks in your direction.
âYou know what's more embarrassing? Having to finish your senior year pregn-â
â-Ahhh. Dad, stop it! I promise weâll make smart choices!â
He chortles at your flushed expression and leans in for a hug. âIâm only messing with you.â You hug him back before pulling away to give your mother a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.
âSee you in a week!â
After pulling away Jake steps forward to hug your parents goodbye as well.
âBe safe Jake, weâll miss seeing you so often! Make sure to call us if you ever need anything once in the states, okay?â Your mom softly says to him as she holds his face in her hands, tears slowly filling her eyes. Over the years Jake has slowly become like a son to her, she was used to cooking extra knowing heâd come over for dinner after your tutoring sessions. She had even turned one of the spare bedrooms into a personal room for Jake, allowing him to sleepover when his parents were out of town for business.
You can only imagine how much she's going to miss him, maybe as much as you know youâll be missing him.
He nods and sniffs, is he crying too? âOf course auntie, Iâm really going to miss our Friday night movie marathons.â
You smile bitterly beginning to fight back tears of your own. Your father was always away for weekend meetings in Melbourne starting Friday night into Saturday evening and as captain of the varsity volleyball team you had late night practices every Friday meaning you wouldnât be back home until the dead of night and your mother was left all alone. Jake, having nothing to do once classes were done would often go over to your home to keep her company so she wouldnât be all alone in your home. It was a little tradition the two kept up over the years.
You hadn't given yourself time to really mourn the idea of being separated from Jake for an entire year but watching him say his tearful goodbyes to your parents is really putting into perspective just how entwined your lives are. Heâs your everything and how heâs leaving, how are you going to manage your senior year without your best friend?
 âWe should get going.âÂ
âMhmm.â You look over at Jake and reach a hand out to wipe away his fallen tears. âItâs okay.âÂ
The two of you say one last goodbye before getting into Jakeâs range rover, you look out the window to see your parents waving you off. You slide back into the passenger seat of his car and put on your seatbelt now processing the fact that this is the last week you have with Jake.
There is a silence as Jake is starting the car, and a part of you wants to die. On one hand you want to cry and beg him to stay but on the other you know if you do, Jake will differ his offer and take a year off to be with you. Thatâs the last thing you want, he deserves happiness. Thatâs all youâve ever wanted for him. If that means braving a smile for now while your heart is in turmoil so be it.
Jake is the first to break the silence.
âThat was a lot harder than I thought it would be.â He drives down your driveway before making a right to pull into the neighborhood.
âGoodbyes are never easy.â
âYeah butâŠI didn't cry when saying bye to my parents but something about your parents made leaving seem all the more ...real?â
âItâs only natural, you spent more time with us. Youâre like their second child.â
Jake hums in thought, âI donât think Iâlll survive having to say goodbye to you.â
You purse your lips thinking about what your goodbye would be like. Would there be tears? Unspoken words? âI think youâll be just fine.â You reach out for his right hand that lays on the gear shift and hold it tightly. âItâs only temporary.â
The next nine hours are spent singing old 90âs love songs and making pit stops every now and then to stock up on some new snacks and to switch off so Jake isnât so tired. During your third stop is when Jake pulls out a camera and begins vlogging the remainder of the trip claiming it would be nice to look back at it once the trip is over.
Once you finally make it to your destination, you pull into the driveway and place the car in park before looking around at your surroundings. The home is modern with nothing but natural light, itâs surrounded by trees to still give you enough privacy but itâs secluded from the other homes on the lane.
âOh my gosh itâs so pretty.â
You open the door and immediately extend your legs out onto the solid ground beneath you. You let out a sigh of satisfaction and Jake laughs from next to you.Â
Heâs opening his own car door soon after, but he straightens up into a standing position pretty quickly and stretches upwards. He closes the car door behind him, watching as you eventually pull yourself together to do the same.Â
You turn to face him. âIâm gonna use the bathroom.â You gesture towards the airbnb and earn a nod from Jake, who mentions something about doing the same thing. You meet back at the car a few minutes later.Â
Jake gestures to the trees surrounding the home. âWant to take a walk around the area? I think I saw a park when we pulled into the neighborhood.âÂ
You nod. âThat sounds like a good idea.âÂ
âWhy donât you get started? Iâll catch up.â Jake watches you leave, before opening the trunk of his car and rummaging around.Â
He does catch up with you, quickly enough that you hardly notice that he had sent you out first. You hear his footsteps, and the call of your name, causing you to turn around. âJake!âÂ
The sight before you makes you smile brightly. Standing before you is Jake, with his polaroid in hand. The lens is pointed right at you. As soon as youâre staring straight into the camera, Jake grins. âSay cheeseâÂ
You giggle and close your eyes before making a little peace sign. You hear the little click and the flash illuminates your face. You open your eyes to find Jake smiling down at the little printed picture waiting for it to develop. âI canât believe you brought that.â
âIâm a photographer at heart, what did you expect?â Jake teases back. âBesides, itâs really pretty around here. I need some pictures for my dorm.âÂ
You blush at the thought of him putting up a picture of you on his dorm wall. The pair of you begin to make your way to the park, taking in the view from different angles. The stroll is mostly just to get rid of the pent up energy, but itâs still a nice view to admire. As soon as you arrive at the park you ditch Jake to run to the swing set.
âPush me?â
Jake rolls his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief but still walks behind you to push you forward.
âDid you know my brother and I got in trouble with our mom because of how high we would swing you?â Jake giggles, âshe was worried weâd push you too high and youâd go flying.â
âI blame your brother. He turns everything into a competition.â
âSo do you!â Jake exclaims. You quickly stop the swing with your feet to turn back at him with a judgmental look on your face. âWhen we were a little older and Jaehyun left us to push each other you would get annoyed that I didn't push you as hard as you did for me.â
âIt's true though.â
You scoffed, âat least I didnât actually push you off your seat.â
He laughs at the memory, âweâre stronger now, do you wanna see who can go higher?â
âknowing exactly how strong you are⊠uh, not really? but whatever, letâs do it!â you brace yourself on the swing and start pulling yourself back to get momentum.
âOkay, wait! Wait!â he rushes to the seat beside yours and pushes it as far as his hips can go, already giving him an advantage. âOkay, go!â
Childish laughter escapes both of you as you let yourselves swing back and forth, trying to put your weight in properly to reach higher than each other. it really felt like you were kids again, you felt at peace, a part of you never wanted this night to end.
The next few days fly by and just like that itâs the night before Jakeâs flight. You had spent your time in Sydney visiting the opera house, late night dinner dates and excursions all over the bustling city. There truly never was a dull moment within this week thatâs come to pass. Getting to make new memories with Jake is exactly what you needed.
The two of you have just gotten back from dinner at Altitude, a restaurant overlooking the opera house. Youâre now in your shared bathroom dressed in one of Jakeâs old teeâs and a thong doing your nightly skin care routine as Jake undresses in the bedroom, getting ready for his nightly shower. You look at his reflection through the mirror as he takes off his shirt. Your eyes skim down his toned chest, desire pooling in the pits of your stomach. Throughout your time here itâs been nothing but makeouts and little pecks throughout the day. You wonder if heâll finally make a move tonight.
âI can feel you staring, love.â
âThatâs the point.â
Jake doesnât say anything in response but rather slides up behind you and peppers your neck with gentle kisses. He cages you between his body and sink and presses his hips into your back. Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of his fully hard cock pressing against your lower back.
Jakeâs eyes rake your body through the mirror, desire burning in his irises. he shifts his eyes to stare at your lips before moving back to turn you around and face him and press himself directly to your front before leaning down and in. He takes his time, giving you the opportunity to pull away but you donât. You want this.
He leans forward and allows his lips to graze yours, the faintest of touches. âAre you sure you want to do this darling? We don't have to.â Jake asks softly.
You shyly nod your head and lean in to close the gap but he pulls ways and shakes his head, âno love. I need to hear you say yes.â
âYes, I want to do this, Jaeyun.â You push forward allowing your lips to touch. He groans once your lips make contact. Youâre unable to focus on anything other than the feeling of his lips on yours.
You can faintly taste the shirley temple he had at dinner on his tongue. He sucks harder on your lip and brings one hand down in between your things to prod at your pulsing heat.
He pulls away to let his eyes drink in the sight of you before leaning down to pick you up. you let out a yelp and grasp onto his biceps for protection, âw-what are you doing?â You sputter.
âI canât make love to you properly on the sink, darling.â
You blush at his words and bury your face into his chest, after a few strides Jake is gingerly placing you on the bed.
He gets onto his knees and straddles your hips before reaching out to help you out of your shirt. You breathe in deeply savoring the way he feels pressed against you. the feeling of his warm fingers moving under the hem of your shirt across your stomach. He lifts it off of your body and tosses it across the room.
âThank you for trusting me with your body.â Jake says before leaning back in and places his lips on yours yet again.
You moan into the kiss before he trails kisses down your jaw to your neck, his teeth brushing over your skin and making you shiver regardless of the heat being provided by Jakeâs skin pushed up against yours. You close your eyes and relish the feeling.
With his lips still pressed against your neck, he whispers, âwhat do you want love?â
Your eyes flutter open as he slowly pulls away to look at you.
âI wonât do anything until you tell me what you want.â He reiterates before placing his lips back onto your neck, biting down making it harder for you to form a coherent sentence.
âI-i donât know.â You say breathily but he chuckles in your ear, âyes you do love, tell me what you want so I can make you feel good.â He says as he gently tugs at your underwear, you whine and raise your hips off the bed to allow him to take it off faster. He tisks, âI need to hear you say it.â You look up at him to meet his gaze, âI want you to touch me.â
His gaze hardens, âspread your legs doll.â He orders.
He shifts his position and allows you to spread your legs before slotting himself in between them. He taps his fingers against your hips silently asking you to raise them. You shyly lift them to the best of your ability and let him pull them off of you, your arousal clinging to your underwear and clit.
Once youâre completely naked, he brings his lips to your chest and roughly kisses your skin, his tongue probing at your nipple. You whimper when he bites your left nipple, the feeling overwhelming. He pulls back and looks at your bare body.
âFuck youâre so beautiful.â He mumbles before leaning down to toy with your pussy.
âYouâre so wet too. Did our kissing turn you on so much, love?â Jake asks, smirking down at you. your face heats up at his words but you donât respond. He looks back down at your pussy and shifts his position so heâs laying down in front of your pussy. He lets his pointer finger circle your clit for a little before running it along the slit of your folds. You let out a mewl at the feeling wanting more. âP-please Ja..â You moan.
âPatience, love.â
He dips one finger into you and you hiss at the feeling. Itâs been a while since youâve been touched down there and youâre extremely sensitive. âYouâre so tight,â he says, pushing his finger deeper until the entire digit is buried snuggly inside you. You close your eyes and tug at the bedsheets, loving the feeling of him fingering you.
Youâre a moaning mess by the time he manages to slide his whole finger into you. You clench around his fingers as he slides them in and out of your snatch and grasp onto your bedsheets. âDoes it feel nice to be stuffed with my fingers?â Jake asks.
You know your voice will fail you so you adamantly nod your head. Jake picks up the pace and your hips move to his strokes. Jake licks his lips when he feels your walls clenching tightly around his digits.
âI-i think Iâm close.â
His fingers curl inside of you which causes your hips to jerk upwards. âAre you cunning?â He asks cheekily.
You nod eagerly, âyes!â your eyes snap shut as you enjoy the feeling, âo-oh my goshâ you cry as you feel him kiss the inside of your thighs. He trails the kisses upwards until heâs face to face with your pussy and places a soft kiss on the nub before sucking on it, his tongue flicking around. He pulls his pointer and middle finger out so he can eat you out freely.
He licks the slit of your folds and firmly grips the flesh of your thighs most likely leaving marks. Marks that would remind you of this moment later on.
Jake picks up the pace, heâs going so fast that you let out a quiet scream. You fist and unfist your sheets as you rock your hips against his face and come.
Your orgasm hits you so hard that tears fill your vision.
Jake allows you to ride out your high before coming up from your private parts and leans back down to place a chaste kiss on your lips.
âAre you feeling alright love?â He asks as he strokes your hair. Youâre heaving, trying to catch your breath.
âYes.â
âDo you want to continue?â
You nod but then remember Jake wants verbal responses, âI do.â
Jake wastes no time in removing his shorts and boxers and gently moves up your body. you wrap your arms around his neck. âC-can you be gentle?â You sheepishly ask.
Your question sends an immediate reaction to Jakeâs dick, he swears he could have busted a nut right then and there. âOf course doll, I'll be gentle.â
He tentatively strokes your folds with two fingers, eyes darting back up to yours to check your response. You hiss, still a bit sensitive. âIs this okay? Are you sensitive?â
âIâm fine,â you assure, âgo ahead, Iâm okay.â
He nods, gathering some of your wetness and smears it on his cock, a moan of relief leaving his swollen lips. âIâve always wondered what it would feel like to be buried inside of you,â he says, angling himself better and positioning his cock near your entrance.
âPlease,â you whimper, biting back a cry once his length breaches your entrance. Jake lets out a guttural growl, slowly sinking into you and bottoming out letting you adjust to his length.
âYouâre so beautiful.â Jake says, rolling his hips torturously slow. âYou were made for me, love. Just for me.â
You open your eyes, taking a deep breath. âIâm ready, you can move now.â
Jake leans forward to place a kiss on your cheek, then on your jaw, and then on your neck. As Jake busies himself there he slowly begins to thrusts in and out of you.
Your hands are all over him; clawing his back, gripping his biceps. âLove,â he whispers, âyou feel so good.â
The sound of your bodies slapping against each other plus your loud wanton moans and the creaking from the bed is all that can be heard reverberating around in the home. He thrusts two more times, his hips stuttering before he chokes out, âmm gonna cum.â
You scratch at his sides and bite your lip to suppress your moan, âm-me too.â
âYou can cum love,â Jake coos. He wraps his arms around you and hugs you closer to his body, the feeling of your chest pressed against him and his dick pounding into you is enough to send you over the edge.
âIâm cumming!â You mumble into his skin. Jake groans at the feeling of you cumming on his dick before his hips still and he comes inside you painting your walls white.
His lips are on your shoulders and neck, softly sucking on patches of your skin and murmuring sweet nothings as you calm down.
âFuck.â
Jake pulls out and looks down at the mess of the sheets, now that heâs no longer caught up in his lustful haze it dawns on him that the two of you didnât use protection. So much for smart choices.
As if now remembering yourself you shrug, âIâll just grab a plan b tomorrow.â
Jake nods, âIâll send you the money for it.â
His body then drops to lay beside you and he pulls you in close with the promise of a hot shower after a few minutes of decompressing. You roll over and sit up, swatting Jakeâs hands away as he reaches for your arm. âWait, I have something for you.â
He hums, interest piqued. âHuh?â
You open the bedside drawer where you had hidden the card you had written for Jake before the two of you left Brisbane. It was a love letter, all the things youâve ever wanted to tell him but kept to yourself out of fear. It holds all the words your heart so desperately wants to tell him before he leaves.
âItâs not anything extravagant but I know you care more for sentimental things anyway.â You hand him the card, âdonât read it until youâre on the plane.â
He looks at the light pink envelope decorated in stickers and his name written in neat calligraphy in the center, the faintest smile on his face but a hint of sadness in his eyes.
âI love you.â
The way he says it sounds different from all the other times heâs ever told you. Almost as if he needs to convince you that he loves you but you know. He places one last kiss to your lips before pulling you back down to cuddle.
âIâm going to miss you.â
Jake hums, âme too.â
The room slips into a comforting silence and eventually you drift off.
8:41am
You wake up feeling cold. You whine and feel around for Jakeâs body but when you feel nothing you open your eyes and softly call out for him. âJake?â
When youâre met with no response you sit up and look around the still dark room. You stand from the bed and reach for your shirt that was still on the ground. You hadnât intended to fall asleep, it was only meant to be a quick nap before the two of you took a shower together and watched movies until it was time for you to head to the airport.
âJake? If youâre trying to scare me, give up.â
Youâre still met with silence and you begin to feel uneasy. âJake?â
You search the living room and your heart drops. His things are gone, his shoes, his suitcases. Everything. You run back to the room to see if itâs really true, if Jake left without saying goodbye. What you find breaks your heart even more. All his toiletries are gone, all that's left are your belongings. You let out a sob when you find the love letter you had written for him laying atop his pillow, opened and crumpled at the sides, proof he had read it but didnât care enough to take it with him.
You drop on to the bed in shock and disbelief, tears sitting in your waterline. You turn to look beside you, staring at the letter as if it had burned you, the only trace that Jake was ever here is his scent in the sheets. You look at the alarm clock to see if youâll be able to make it to the airport on time and bid him a proper farewell, your heart sinks once again when you realize youâre far too late. Itâs 8:50 and his flight leaves in ten minutes. You sniff and decide to not dwell on it, Jake probably had his reasons and you have to get ready to go home.
You strip out of your shirt and discard it on the floor before walking into the bathroom to start your shower. You step into the shower, toes flinching as they touch the chilled ceramic floor. Your mind is in shreds; how could Jake leave without a goodbye? You turn the dial, releasing thousands of frigid drops, wetting your hair and trickling down your back. Your eyes fall closed and images of last night cross your mind.
You want to scream. Did last night not mean as much to him as it did to you? Was this all so he could fuck and just leave? You wrap up your shower and step out to brush your teeth. When finished, you dry off and head for your suitcase to pick out an outfit. You settle on sweatpants and an old graphic tee with slides. Once dressed and ready for your journey back, you finish your packing and look around the house one last time to see if maybe Jake left anything for you, maybe even an explanation. All you find is a plan b box on the kitchen counter next to a water bottle. You pick up the pill box and exit promptly and throw your things in the back of Jakeâs car. You look down at the passenger seat where the letter you had written for him sits. You pick it up and examine it one last time before shoving it deep into your backpack.
Maybe this was less painful than having to say goodbye.
It in fact was not less painful. A day passed, then two, then a week, then a month. You stared at your phone at all hours of the day, calling and texting waiting for confirmation that he had arrived safely and an explanation on why he went ghost but it never came.
You started your senior year alone. That was the first time you ever realized just how dependent you were on Jake, you had no other friends to go to the movies with, you spent your senior appreciation week alone, you had no one to make plans with when the weekend would roll around. Maybe you should have made deeper connections. You slowly started to lose sight of the end goal, Harvard had always been your dream but your mind was in too much turmoil to see it meaning anything without Jake, your heart canât stand to be near him but not have a connection to him. You had heard from his mother that he had settled in at Yale and was enjoying his time abroad. You never told your parents what happened down in Sydney, you couldnât bring yourself to talk about it without crying.
Eventually you began to decline, your grades took a hit and your GPA dropped from the perfect 4.5 it had been sitting at for the past four years to a 3.2. You started failing your core classes and you were kicked off of the varsity volleyball team. Your parents couldnât understand the sudden change in you. You stopped talking to them, stopped going to your tutoring sessions and stopped caring about life itself. You would only go to school when you felt like it and come straight home before locking yourself in your bedroom. When time came to send in your college applications you didnât know what to do. You knew Harvard wouldnât want you and you never considered any other options. You sat down with your guidance counselor and she gave you some options. The majority consisted of staying in Australia, letting you know it didnât seem possible to go abroad. You limited your application process to four schools, two in Australia and two in Massachusetts. If Harvard didnât want you, maybe a private school would grant you admission and you could transfer in your sophomore year.
As much as you wanted to be far away from him, Massachusetts happened to have all the top schools that were realistic for you. You applied to Northeastern and Boston college. Neither were the ivy leagues you were hoping to attend but private institutions nonetheless. You sent in your applications for early action, praying you would get in and get to leave Australia behind. You were suffocating here.
Luckily for you, your acceptance letter came from Northeastern and you were quick to accept. You were waitlisted for Boston College and accepted to both Australian unis but you had decided where you were going. You toured Northeastern in the spring with your mom, you both absolutely fell in love with the campus. It was right in the middle of the city, across from the train system making getting around easy. You got to meet the girl you would be dorming with, Avianca; Avi for short. She was very bubbly and sweet, and very opinionated. She had grown up in Boston with her mother and two brothers. Her mother was unable to join the two of you so you went out to brunch with her and your mother. After that your mother left the two of you to go shopping for some things for your dorm.
âAre you excited to start in the fall?â Avi asked as the two of you browsed targets room decor.
You shrug and hug yourself, âI guess.â
Avi stops to look at a large beige throw pillow, âthat's all? Arenât you excited for the new experiences?â She looks up at you, âthe boys?â
You play with the tag of the pillow in her hand. âI-â you hesitate and she picks up on it.
âUnlessâŠâ she smirks up at you, âyou have a boyfriend?â
You pause. Could you even consider Jake a boyfriend? He never officially asked you to be his girlfriend but the two of you did way more than what other couples do in a lifetime. As if reading your mind Avi hums.
âAhh, I see. Itâs complicated?â
âI guess you could call it that.â
She tosses the pillow into the cart, âis it over?â
You continue walking down the aisle as you think back to Jake, this would be your first time ever saying what went down outloud. You were hesitant to tell your parents because of how close they were with Jake, you didn't want this affecting their perspective of him but Avi doesnât know him, sheâs unbiased. And thatâs how you found yourself crying inside a target finally opening up about just how hurt you were by Jakeâs actions.
Once you finish telling her your story from start to finish, Avi is embracing you. âJake is a dick. You did not deserve that. Iâm so sorry.â
Avi spends the rest of your time together comforting you. She lets you rant about Jake and gives you her two cents every now and then. You felt a little embarrassed at how much you were crying but Avi was quick to reassure you letting you know it was actually time you let it all out. The two of you exchanged numbers before parting ways again and she made you promise to keep in touch with her while you were back home in Australia until your move-in day and that's exactly what you did.
After flying back home you slowly started to rebuild. Jake isnât a part of your life anymore and you canât continue to wallow in your self pity. It was time to let go and move on, you would be starting your freshman year of college in four months. You donât want to be stuck up on someone who wasnât even thinking of you.
You took the time to learn new hobbies as you didnât have volleyball to lean on. You took up baking for a bit before getting bored and moving on to painting. You learned how to knit and made yourself some mittens and a scarf to prepare for the cold Boston weather. You even took up photography, opening up a private instagram account to post your pictures as you traveled around Europe during June. It was a graduation gift from your father, you had stops in France, Wales, Germany and Spain. You spent a month traveling before heading back south.
You flew to New Zealand before officially going home to explore the mountains, it was a nice reset. Jake had promised to visit with you but it never happened and you werenât putting things on hold for him anymore. You would facetime with Avi every night, brainstorming ideas for your room and your plans for welcome week. She had no intention of staying in your dorm that first week before classes started.
At first you were hesitant, going to raves and frat parties meant the inevitable. The possibility of running into Jake would be significantly higher and if you didnât run into him there was still the fact that you would be approached by some man before the night was over. You had expressed to Avi how you couldnât see yourself entering a relationship anytime soon. You had yet to fully heal from Jake and the thought of being that vulnerable again terrified you.
She only listened before reminding you that you didnât have to date every guy that said hi. Some below the belt touching and harmless flirting never hurt anyone. She went on to ramble about how youâre entering your prime and have an insanely hot aussie accent that could help you secure any guy you wanted. You zoned out once she started asking you if you could moan for her so she could take pointers.
Your parents could see the shift in you and it brought them relief, they felt more at ease to send you abroad now that you were in a better mental headspace. You left two weeks before classes started to move in and get accustomed to the new environment. Your parents came to help you and Avi move in before leaving to go back home.
Itâs now nighttime and youâve just officially finished decorating.
âSo, thereâs this rave at slackers tonight, wanna go?â
You turn to look at Avi from your bed as she sits at her desk organizing her makeup. You snort, âas if I have a choice.â She looks up at you grinning.
âGlad youâre aware! Now get up and go shower, youâre all sweaty and doors close at 8!â
You roll your eyes but listen to her nonetheless. You stumble out of your bed and walk towards your closet to try and brainstorm what to wear. âIs there a theme?â
Avi hums, âyeah early 2000âs.â
You scan your wardrobe to see what you can find before deciding upon a baby blue butterfly top you had gotten off of amazon and a mini cargo skirt. For shoes you settle on some old Nike air forces knowing they would be demolished by the end of the night. You head over to the bathroom and begin getting ready. You try not to take too long, making sure to properly wash your body but you donât take the time to exfoliate. Once drying off and exiting you make quick work of getting dressed and sitting beside Avi to start your makeup while she works on styling her hair. You donât take too long for your makeup, choosing to opt for a more natural look and go for a half up/half down hairstyle with two strands out in the front.
Once youâre both ready, you grab your student IDâs and bags before heading out and start the five minute walk to the T. As youâre waiting for the train to arrive you take pictures with Avi to post and make a new story post of the sun setting. Once the green train arrives the two of you hop on and head towards the party venue.
By the time you arrive, the line is still relatively short and youâre inside in under thirty minutes. You scan your surroundings, the club lights are too bright and strobing too fast, just asking for someone to seize. The dance floor is crowded with people and there are drunks stumbling all around you.
Avi spins on her heels and smirks up at you, âwhat are the odds you get a stranger to buy us drinks?â
You quickly shake your head. âZero! Iâve never done this before Avi!â
She shrugs, âso? Have you seen yourself? You look so hot, ____.â She makes it a point to slap your ass. âYou have all the right assets on display, you just have to use them to your advantage.â
You gasp and rub your sore bottom, âokay one, never do that again. Two, why donât you get a guy to buy us drinks? Put those tits to good use.â
She smirks. âI was already planning on it. But seriously, I promised to help you get over Jake and what better way to do that than getting under a new man?â
You groan. âSleeping around isnât going to help me get over Jake.â
âWhat makes you think he hasnât done the same?â You furrow your brows at her and she scoffs. âCome on ____, heâs been in the city for a year while you were on the other side of the world. Jake is hot and Iâm sure he knows it just like other girls in Connecticut probably do too, what would really have stopped him from getting his dick wet?â
You stay silent, deep down you know Avi is just being truthful and realistic. Jake had no obligations to you and no one to get in his way of whoring around if he really wanted to as much as it may hurt you.
âOkay.â
Aviâs brows shoot up in shock. âOkay? Thatâs really all it took?â
You nod firmly, âIâm done putting my life on pause for him. Besides, a little flirting never hurt anyone, right?â
Avi squeals and claps her hands together. âPerfect! I better see you throwing it back on some guy before the night ends!â
The two of you decide to part ways to find your prey of the night. Avi makes quick work of heading to the bar where the older men are to see if she can score some drinks while you idle around the dance floor, scoping out the faces to see who you wanted to make a move on. Before you can set your sights on someone, you feel the warmth of a body behind you though theyâre not quite pressing against you yet. It doesnât feel bad, and neither do the fingertips ghosting along the curve of your waist. You press into their touch a little more. The tentative fingers at your waist get more firm once they realize youâre open to their touch.
âWanna dance?,â the body behind you asks, lips brushing the shell of your ear. It makes chills prick at your skin. You bite your lip to keep from smiling at the sensation. Your hand goes to cover the bigger one on your waist. Youâve missed being this close to someone.Â
You intentionally keep the touch constant when you turn around in their hold. Their palm slides along your body till itâs settling on your lower back just above the swell of your ass.
When you look up, your reply gets caught in your throat.
The owner of the warm body behind you is handsome, strikingly so. Tall, strong. Smile dreamy with dimples, and eyes dark. He gives you a soft grin accompanied by an encouraging nod, wanting you to say what you canât seem to get out.
âUhââ you sputter with a wince, before clearing your throat, âWhereâs the fun in asking?â
You canât hear his laugh over the music, but you can tell heâs amused by the way his chest rumbles, and how his eyes curl. The hand at the base of your spine moves to your hip, squeezing gently.
His other hand is moving, too, and you track it until itâs tucking some hair behind your ear. You go still and flush when he leans down to your ear again. âIf you insist,â he tells you. You donât get to respond before heâs forcefully turning you back around and pressing his body into yours. The song changes to an upbeat caribbean mix and the sexy stranger has you bent over, one hand in your hair as a makeshift ponytail and the other resting at the base of your spine as he sensually moves his hips to the beat of the song, practically humping you. You can feel yourself getting wet as his clothed dick brushes against your vagina, your miniskirt and thong barely hiding anything. You begin whining your waist to meet his thrust giving those around you a show. Soon, a circle forms around the two of you as people turn on their camera to film. When the song finally ends the two of you separate and the crowd disperses. Some guys stick around though, hoping you would part form your dance partner and give them a chance to feel you humping them but you never get the chance. The stranger leans down to your ear, âIâm Jungwon.â
You smirk and respond with your name. âIâm, ____. Clearly youâve done this before Jungwon.âÂ
Jungwon briefly looks surprised, eyes widening like a child before heâs laughing. âAh,â he muses, guiding your arms to drape over his shoulders, your hands interlocking behind his neck. His hands do the same around your waist as he pulls you a little closer. âPerhaps but clearly the same goes for you.â
Thereâs a flutter in your tummy that you havenât felt in months and itâs exciting. Makes you giddy as you blink up at him sultrily.
âAre you complaining?â you ask him.
He adamantly shakes his head, âOf course not, as long as youâre not in a relationship no complaints over here.â
You cock your head to the side. âI donât do relationships.â You wait a beat before asking, âIs that what youâre looking for?â
He looks up like heâs thinking. Then heâs shrugging. Crowding your space, cheek brushing yours as he talks into your ear again, he answers, âI want what you want.â
Jungwon doesnât move out of your space like the times he did before, instead pulling you into him a bit more, making your space his space too. Lips brush against the corner of your jaw, just below your ear. Teasing, yet sure.Â
âI want to forgetââ Your hand twines into the hair at the nape of his neck when he nips softly at your earlobe, making you gasp quietly, interrupting yourself. ââabout someone.â
He lets out a smug sound of understanding. âThat sounds doable,â you hear him say, before he purrs confidently, âLet me help you.â
Just as the two of you lean in for a kiss youâre interrupted by the calling of your name.
â____!â You pull away to find Avi stumbling towards you. When sheâs close enough, she grips onto your shoulders to try and keep herself up. âH-help.â
You look at her in worry and try to balance her but sheâs quickly becoming more and more unstable, her words slurring and her body becoming limp. You begin to panic, âAvi? Avi! Youâre scaring me, what's wrong!?â
Jungwon steps in to help you hold her up. âShit, I think she was laced.â
Your eyes dart to his in worry, sensing your panic Jungwon tries to calm you down. âThereâs a hospital nearby. Iâll call an uber and we can head over.â
You nod, trying to steady yourself for Aviâs sake. The two of you make quick work of ushering her out of the building and outside to help her get some fresh air while Jungwon orders the uber. Itâs there in seven minutes and the three of you rush to the nearest children's hospital.
Once you arrive, Jungwon hands over Avi to the medical staff while you try and give them the information they need to admit her. Sheâs rushed into the emergency bay while you and Jungwon are told to sit in the waiting area while they pump her stomach.
âItâs going to be okay. We got her here in time, Iâm sure the doctors have everything under control.â Jungwon says as he takes a seat beside you. Itâs clear youâre distraught and donât know what to do but itâs also clear that what you need right now is not only reassurance but a friend. Your shoulders slump instantly and you nod despondently. Cautiously Jungwon entwines your hands together, lacing your fingers with his.
He shifts, leaning his body into you allowing you to cuddle into him for some warmth, your lack of proper clothing clearly not helping. You bite your lip to keep in the tears before resting your head against his shoulder. You close your eyes, basking in his comforting presence, letting both his words and presence wash over you and ease your worries.
The both of you sit in silence for long, drawn-out moments before you finally speak up. âIâm sorry, this probably isnât how you wanted to spend your night.â You pull away and wrap your arms around yourself, âyou can go if youâd like.â
Sensing your guilt and apprehension, Jungwon shakes his head softly and removes his bomber jacket to hand to you. You stare at it for a second before taking it and putting it on. âIt definitely isnât how I saw my night going but you clearly need a friend, it wouldnât be right to leave you alone.â
You twiddle your fingers, âwhy are you being so nice to me?â
He purses his lips in thought, showcasing his dimples. âLike I said before, itâs clear you need a friend. Youâre obviously going through something with a guy you probably really like and your friend is in the hospital after getting laced. You shouldnât have to go through this alone.â
You blink at him, embarrassed that he read you so easily. âI-â You cut yourself off and look away, feeling the tears start to well up. âI feel so lost and alone.â
Jungwon slowly reaches for you and brings you in for a hug, letting you cry into his chest. âI moved to this stupid city all by myself and now I miss my parents, I miss my home and worst of all I miss him. Avi is the only friend I have and I canât help but feel like her being in this position is all my fault! She only wanted to go out to help me move on a-and we made this stupid bet about getting guys to buy us drinks and now sheâs getting her stomach pumped!â You angrily rant to Jungwon, overwhelmed by the events that have transpired within the last twenty-four hours.
He listens, gently rubbing your back as you let it all out. âItâs normal to miss your life back at home, going to college is hard enough, let alone having to move to a different continent. I understand the guilt youâre feeling but I doubt Avi is mad at you for what happened, you werenât the one who drugged her.â
You sniffle and wipe at your nose with the sleeve of his jacket, âI guess so.â You pull away from his wet chest to wipe away the remainder of your tears. âIâm scared.â You softly admit.
âOf what?â
âBeing alone again.â You whisper, you canât help but wonder if Jungwon will stay after this, if Avi will be okay enough to stay for the semester. You pray you donât lose either of them.
âGood thing I donât plan on leaving.â Jungwon offers with a soft smile, you look up at him gratefully and wrap him in a hug.
âThank you.â
The two of you spend the rest of the night in the ER, the doctors eventually come to fetch the two of you to join Avi, letting you know that sheâll be just fine and able to return home the following day. Jungwon stays true to his word and doesnât leave your side until itâs time for Avi to get discharged. The three of you clamber into the back of the Uber Jungwon ordered and drive to your dorms. While sitting at Aviâs bedside the three of you began conversing about anything and everything. You found out that Jungwon was also a freshman at Northeastern majoring in Biochem. On top of that, he was living in the same dorm as you-his room only two doors down.
Once you arrive, you bid farewell to Jungwon with the promise of grabbing breakfast with him and his roommate Beomgyu the following morning before heading into your own room.
âHeâs cute.â Avi says as she gently takes a seat on the couch.
âJungwon?â
She hums, âsweet kid.â
You nod absentmindedly as you gather your bathroom supplies. âI guess so.â
Friday November 15th - present day
Three months have passed since the beginning of the semester and itâs safe to say that youâre beginning to feel at home in the city. Jungwon stayed true to his word and didnât leave you. In fact, there was never a moment where you were alone. If you werenât at Snell studying with Jungwon, you were at your dorm watching shows with Avi or at the dining hall grabbing lunch with Beomgyu.Â
The four of you have truly become inseparable these past few months and youâre so grateful for the support they provide. Itâs nice to finally have other people to rely on rather than having to rawdog life alone. When the four of you arenât absolutely swamped with homework you grab dinner together at one of the dining halls before going back to your place for a movie night. Tonight happens to be one of those nights.
âWollastans hands down has the best snack options,â Beomgyu says as he empties the grocery bag onto your living room floor. Avi hums and takes a seat beside him on the floor in front of the TV.
âThat they do.â She reaches for the pack of gummy bears and offers some to Jungwon whoâs laid on your couch arms wide open as he smiles up at you waiting for you to take your rightful seat in between his legs. He takes a handful of gummies and thanks Avi before patting his chest.
âHurry up princess, I'm getting cold.â
You scoff and roll your eyes before kicking off your shoes and making your way across the threshold to plop down in between his arms.
âWhat are we watching tonight?â You ask. Jungwon taps your cheek silently asking you to open up, you do and he plops a cherry bear into your mouth.
âInterview with the vampires.â Beomgyu replies as he ques up the show. Once itâs ready to go Avi hands you a blanket to cover yourself with before she cuddles up to Beomgyu, the two of them whispering to each other lost in their own world. You smile softly at them, you and Jungwon have a running bet of how long it was going to take before the two crack and just get together. Theyâre adamant that theyâre just friends but itâs clear as day feelings are there.
You feel Jungwon wrap his arm securely around your waist before he places a soft kiss atop your head.
As touchy and flirty as the two of you are, youâre just friends. Once Jungwon made it clear he was here to stay you found the confidence to open up to him about Jake. You told him about the ghosting, the sex, how much he meant to you and how you donât think youâll ever love someone the way you love him or even be ready for a relationship anytime soon. Jungwon understood and made his intentions clear, he just wanted to make you happy. If that meant putting his feelings on the backburner and doing things your way so be it.
It wasnât a fair deal at all, Jungwon devoted almost all of his time to you, he would walk you home from your late lectures, wake up at five am to run to Tatte to buy you breakfast before your eight ams, turn down girls who approached him in hopes that when you were ready youâd come running to him.
He did it all without complaint, he loves you fully and without restraint. Heâs loved you from the start, he loves you the way you wish Jake had.
You canât help but think about where Jake would fit in your life now. Youâve changed and made sure your new life left no room for him, you tailored your life to make sure Jake could never waltz back in and destroy all the progress youâve made. You donât think heâll fit in with your group of friends anyhow. As this year has come and passed, you replaced Jake with Jungwon. Itâs hard to picture Jake falling back into the role of being your only friend in your life.
You have Avi, Beomgyu and Jungwon. They look out for you and make sure to take care of you. Itâs a reciprocal friendship, theyâre pouring into you just as much as you pour into them if not more.
You snap out of your thoughts when Jungwon softly pinches your side. âYou zoned out, are you okay?â
You nod your head and play with his fingers under the blanket. âJust thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life.â
You feel him take in a sharp breath before pulling you into him even more. âIâm the lucky one.â
___
As the movie night comes to a close, you sit up from Jungwonâs hold to stretch, your friends following your actions. You reach for your phone to check the time to see if you can squeeze in one more movie.
âItâs only nine, we can start another show or watch a movie.â You offer
Jungwon wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you in closer to his side, âI donât have anything to do tomorrow, Iâm down.â
Avi stands up and clears her throat. âActually can we go out?â
Beomgyu looks up at her questioningly, âwanna ride the blue bikes around campus?â
She shakes her head, âa Harvard frat is hosting to-â
âAbsolutely not.â You cut her off. You havenât been to another college party since the one at slackers, the sight of Avi getting drugged permanently put you off from the party scene.
She huffs, âwhy not!?â
You give her an incredulous look. âAre you being serious? You were drugged the last time we went to one, I donât want to see you in the ER again!â
The boys can sense the growing tension, Beomgyu stands and tries to calm Avi and Jungwon soothingly rubs your arms.
âIt was one time! I wonât drink this time!â
âI still donât feel comfortable.â
She throws her hands up and turns to pout at Beomgyu knowing itâs a weakness of his.
âYah! this is between the two of you, stop pouting at me.â He says in response before turning on his heel to head to your kitchen to raid it for some more food. You huff and turn to Jungwon to have him plead your case but he only shakes his head, he knows better than to get in between the two of you.
âUh-uh, No. You two figure this out.â
He stands from his seat beside you to go join Beomgyu in the kitchen.
Avi takes Jungwonâs seat and grabs your hands. âI promise I wonât drink! I know better now and the guys will be there! You know they wonât let anything happen to either of us! Come on, _____ please!â
You sigh and shift your attention to the boys goofing off in your kitchen, Avi is right. The boys wouldnât let the two of you out of their sight, especially Jungwon as he was there for the last party the three of you had attended.
âFine.â
The living room of the frat is completely packed, people are scattered around the home, either dancing in a large group in the middle of the living room, relaxing in the kitchen with drinks in hand or smoking blunts upstairs. Something that definitely doesnât go unnoticed by you is the hordes of couples pressed up against each other and the walls, making out and grinding against each other for the entirety of the house to see without a single care in the world.
You turn to face your friends, âan hour tops then weâre out of here!â
Avi playfully rolls her eyes, âaye aye captain.â
She grabs Beomgyuâs hand and they walk into the midst of the party leaving you with Jungwon. âWant to grab a drink with me?â
You pull your attention away from a guy whoâs completely wasted and forcing another to a dance off to Jungwon whoâs standing next to you. You shrug, âsure.â
You both exit from the hallway where your little group had clustered and enter the kitchen to grab a drink. Jungwon hands you a water bottle but you nudge away his hand and reach for a red solo cup to pour yourself a shot of tequila. You knock it back and move down the counter to pour yourself some of the punch.
Jungwon watches you in worry as you pucker your lips at the taste of the punch, âI thought no drinking tonight.â
âNo drinking for Avi. Plus itâs for the nerves.â
He nods at you and takes a sip of his water. âWhat has you on edge?â
You look around the kitchen sadly before confessing whatâs weighing on your heart. âIt feels so odd being here, it was my dream for so long and now itâs just some other school down the block.â
Jungwon hums before scanning the area himself. âDo you regret choosing Northeastern?â
You sigh, âI..â you trail off to really think through your answer. Northeastern has become more than a safety net. You have a family here because of the school, people who love and care about you without restraint and would be crushed if you up and left them. You also canât help but feel as though thereâs a double meaning to Jungwonâs question. âI donât think so, more so mourning what could have been here.â
Jungwon nods, âare you still thinking about transferring?â
You shake your head. âNo, I think itâs time to close the chapter on this time period in my life.â
Jungwon stills beside you, to him, Harvard = Jake and the life you lived with him back at home in Australia, does this mean this is finally the end of you and that dirtbag?
You smile and place your arms around Jungwonâs neck. âI think it's time to start focusing on what I have here at NortheasternâŠwith you.â
Jungwon swears he feels his heart stop at your words, are you finally going to give him a chance? His eyes suddenly gleam with mischief as he rests his hands on your waist and squeezes you a little tighter and yanks you towards him, bodies just centimeters apart as you crash into his chest, all up in each otherâs personal space.
Your eyes widen in complete surprise.Â
âAre you saying what I think you are?â He teases with a stupidly lowered tone, a smug grin decorating his face.Â
You ignore the electricity shooting through you, rolling your eyes and playfully sneer at him. âDonât be smug, I can still change my mind, you know.â You force space between you two and try removing his hands from your waist but his grip transforms into an iron lock.Â
âYou wouldnât.âÂ
âTry me.â
He pulls you in close and leans in to whisper, âyeah? Then who's gonna do this?â He doesnât wait for you to question him, leaning in right away to place his lips on yours and cage you between him and the kitchen counter. Your eyes blow out, taken by surprise until you find yourself quickly melting into the kiss, hands gripping his shoulders tighter. Jungwon canât help himself from opening up his mouth to catch more of yours, lips sensually kissing yours in a slow, unhurried pace.Â
You instantly love the way he kisses, completely taken by his pillowy, delicate lips.Â
Jungwon doesnât care if your lipstick smudges onto him or how brash the public display of affection seems; all he cares about is the soft feeling of your lips against his own for the first time and the fact that youâre willing to be his.
He knows itâs going to stay on his mind for weeks.Â
Youâre beginning to get lost until he disconnected your mouths, only looking at each other with overwhelming feelings and shimmering eyes that depict how nervous you are for this new step.
âWanna dance with me?â You shyly ask.
Jungwon smirks, his mind recalling the first time he ever met you at that slackers party. âWhereâs the fun in asking?â He mocks, you roll your eyes at the familiarity of his words before dragging him out of the kitchen and into the living room to dance away your inhibitions.
The two of you make your way to the center of the room knowing once you start dancing, all eyes will be on you. Jungwon squeezes your hips one last time before turning you around and helping you slowly grind down on him to the beat of the song, once you have a steady rhythm going on he begins to buck his hips to meet your pace.
Just like that night at slackers, youâre bent over whining your waist against Jungwon and catching the attention of those around you. Jungwon sneaks one arm around your front and gently squeezes at your right boob under your crop top, getting turned on by how your butt applies the right amount of pressure to his cock every time you bounce off of it and the lustful gaze of those watching. He could cum in his pants. You have to bite your bottom lip to keep from moaning.
As the song comes to a close Jungwon releases you and places a kiss against the base of your neck, âIâm going to grab us drinks, stay right here baby.â
You nod and let him remove himself from you completely to go get the two of you drinks, you turn around to see if you could potentially find Beomgyu or Avi and spend some time with them until he returns but before you even get the chance to fully scope out the area you feel someone grab onto your wrist and spin you around.
Youâre about to tell the stranger off but your words get caught in your throat when you turn around to find a tall blonde man dressed in all black staring you down. You exhale sharply at the way he seemingly undresses you with his eyes.
âYou sure know how to put on a show, princess.â
You feel your face heat up a bit at the use of pet name and being called out on the way you were just dry humping Jungwon. Not knowing what to say you wait for him to continue. Picking up on that, the stranger continues, âIâm Jay, whatâs your name darling?â
â____â you breathlessly let out.
He hums and pulls you in closer, âsexy name for a sexy girl, whoâs that guy? Your boyfriend?â
His hands travel down to grab at your ass over your leggings and you have a feeling that even if you were taken, Jay wouldnât care.
You bite down a moan at the way he caresses your ass, taking turns between rolling the flesh and pinching it every now and then. He lands a sharp slap to your bottom when you donât answer, his patience running thin. âAnswer me princess.â
You shake your head, ân-no Iâm si-â
Before you can finish your statement Jay gets ripped away from you by another male who huffs out in playful annoyance. âCâmon mate, itâs my birthday and youâre ditching me for some action?â
This time, your blood truly runs cold. Standing in front of you in all his glory for the first time in a year and three months is Sim Jaeyun. His eyes sweep over to you and the smile that was just gracing his face begins to slowly fall. Your eyes greedily take him in. You notice heâs dyed his hair back to black and grown it out a bit, parting it in the middle like you used to do for him during your walk to school. His shoulders also seem a bit wider, did he start working out? You even note his style has changed, gone are the tight skinny jeans and random hoodies. Heâs dressed in wide legend pants paired with a simple white tee tucked in and Jordans on his feet.
â____.â He breathlessly lets out.
Hearing him call out to you breaks your heart, after all this time you thought you would be angry at him for what he did. Swearing to Avi that if you ever ran into him you were going to rip him a new one, maybe even slap him for having the audacity to hurt you the way he did. But now that youâve been graced with the opportunity all you feel is a deep sadness, all your anger gone in that instant.
You see Jayâs eyes bug out of his head as he looks between the two of you. âSheâs ____?â
Your eyes flicker over to Jay as you make the assumption Jake must have told him all about the two of you. Jake reaches a hand out to grab yours but you instantly jerk away from his touch. He doesnât deserve it, your mind screams at you.
âDonât.â You grit out, fighting back the tears.
Jakeâs face falls even more at the malice in the simple word, heart breaking at how you avoid his touch but respects it nonetheless.
âPlease, let me just ex-â
You donât let him finish before youâre spinning on your heel and bolting out of the party. You knock into a few partygoers, the alcohol finally taking its effect. You hear muffled shouts of your name as you push past people to make it outside to the lawn. In your daze you donât see your friends running after you.
You stumble out of the party and onto the lawn. The front of the frat house is nearly empty, save for you and a couple thatâs making out on the grass. You stagger towards a bush when the overwhelming feeling of vomiting consumes you. Your stomach contracts violently and all the liquor you had consumed comes back up splattering the bushes.
â____!â You hear Jungwon call out your name before heâs kneeling beside you and holding your hair back.
You heave again and once more the contents of your stomach spray the ground. You sink to your knees and retch until only clear liquid is coming up. Your throat feels sore from the stomach acid that is layering it and your mouth tastes of vomit.
Avi kneels beside you and rubs your back soothingly as Beomgyu stands protectively in front of you, shielding you from Jakeâs view as he tries to grab your attention, constantly calling your name.
âItâs alright,â you hear Jungwon whisper as you feel your stomach begin to settle. He slowly ties your hair up for you using a hair tie Avi offers and once heâs sure Avi has a steady grip on you, heâs standing to square up to Jake.
âWho the fuck do you think you are?â Jungwon asks. Beomgyuâs eyes widen the tiniest fraction at his roommate's question, knowing damn well he canât fight and Jungown might be alone in this one.
Jake scoffs and steps up to Jungwon, his own annoyance at its peak. âIâm her best friend who the fuck do you think you are?â
Your friends all still at the realization of who exactly the stranger is. Avi is the first to react, scoffing at his audacity from beside you as she looks up at him.
âYou know you got a lot of fucking nerve to even call yourself that. Youâre the one who ghosted her, youâre the one who left. You donât get to claim that title anymore.â
Jake falters at the harsh glare heâs receiving from your friends but heâs determined to speak to you.
âYou donât know shit.â Jay spits out from behind Jake knowing the true story as to why Jake did what he did. Albeit shitty, his friend had his reasons and he wasnât going to let anyone shame him for the decisions he made as a kid fresh out of high school.
Beomgyu swears he sees red. âWatch it.â He says as he shoves at Jayâs chest. Jay, having none of it though, pushes back causing Jungwon and Jake to have to step in and separate their friends before things escalate.
Jake pulls his friend away and harshly whispers in his ear before Jay scoffs and walks away back into the party. Jake clears his throat and turns back to you and your friends who are all still glaring and making a protective front around you.
âPlease, ____. I Just need one chance to explain myself.â
Jungwon opens his mouth to respond for you but you're quicker than him.
âNo.â Your voice is firm, âyou donât get to hurt me the way you did and expect me to give you the courtesy of explaining why you chose to break my heart.â
From your seated position you can see the tears swimming in his eyes and it almost makes you crack. Almost. But you need to choose you for once. You need to stop throwing caution to the wind when it comes to Sim Jaeyun, he never once did that for you.
âYouâre a year too late.â
Still determined and not deterred by your stance, Jake takes a cautious step forward, stopping when Jungwon deems heâs gotten too close and steps up as well to place a hand on Jakeâs chest.
âIâm sorry, ____. I know I fucked everything up and-and that I donât deserve another chance but please-â He chokes back a sob, âplease just let me explain!â
Avi rolls her eyes and helps you stand. âWhat good will that do? Youâre right, you donât deserve shit from her. Explaining why youâre a shitty person isnât going to change anything.â
Although harsh, Avi is right. Hearing him out wonât change the fact that he no longer has a spot in your life, it wonât change the damage heâs caused, it wonât do anything.
âLetâs go guys.â You weekly let out, completely drained and craving the warmth of your bed.
â____!â
You ignore Jakeâs call of your name and leave with your friends surrounding you, making it impossible for him to see you anymore. Your heart seizes in your chest at the desperation in his voice as he calls out to you but you keep walking, you leave him behind like he did to you all those months ago.
[November 15th, 12:35 AM]
[jake]: can we please talk?
[jake]: iâm sorry
[jake]: please
[jake]: _____?
[November 16th, 2:48 PM]
[jake]: i know you donât want to talk to me but please let me explain ____
[jake]: iâll leave you alone after, i swear
[November 17th, 6:15 PM]
[jake]: iâll be at caffe nero near newbury tomorrow at 2 until they close
[jake]: please come and let me explain, iâll leave you alone regardless of what you decide.
Jake stares down at his phone as he hits send, over the past two days heâs been sending you text messages praying youâll respond but each one has been left on delivered. He doesnât know if youâve read them or even blocked him.
He tosses his phone aside and drops down on his hard dorm bed staring up at his ceiling wondering why he let things get so bad. He thought he was making the right decision for the both of you, thought he was doing right by you by leaving you alone.
Falling in love takes courage he doesn't possess at the time. You never stood a chance and it's little wonder why you felt so cheated.
Leading up to his departure from Australia everything was perfect, it was a dream. He had the girl of his dreams, a scholarship to the school of his dreams and for once- a supportive family backing every decision he made. It was new, it was different. It was scary. Jake grew up having to fight for his parents attention and had to work for their love, it was conditional, he had to be perfect. Being given it so freely and easily by you came as a shock.
He knew just how much you loved him, how much you had sacrificed over the years for him, he doesnât deserve it now and he sure as hell didnât think he deserved it back then. How could he love you if he barely understood how it worked? He had such a twisted view on love. At the time he thought it came with conditions, that he couldnât love or be loved without conditions. That it was only a matter of time before the hammer dropped on your changing relationship and you began expecting more from him as a boyfriend, more that he couldnât give.
Reading the letter was what really did it for him.
Of course he didnât listen to you when you told him to read it once he was on the plane. He waited until you fell asleep and reached into the drawer to retrieve the letter and began reading it. Jake read it over and over again until he had it memorized, so much so that he still has it memorized to this day. He left you with the original but wrote it down on a napkin on the plane when he realized how big of a mistake it was to leave it. He sits up to walk over to his desk and retrieve his written version of the letter and begins to read it once again.
Dear Jake, my sweet angel boy,
I should have told you this right after prom: that there's this special love that I have deep within my heart. That love is only for you. It is far greater than this world. I wish I could show you how much you really mean to me. If I could only let you feel how much I really do love you in a kiss or a hug, you would begin to feel the love that I have for you.
If I could describe the love that I have for you and use lyrics of love songs or even the sonnets of Shakespeare, it would still be impossible, because the love that I love for you cannot be put into words. You've had my love from the day we met, and you will have it forever. As time goes by, my heart and love for you will keep growing stronger, brighter, and bigger.
Call me your love from this day forward. Although we have two different minds, and souls, we have one and the same beautiful heart. My love for you is unconditional. Please donât forget that.
I love you with all my heart, body, and soul. I will never stop loving you. You are my life, my world, and everything to me. Distance may keep us apart for a short while but you will always and forever be embedded deep within my heart.
My beautiful love, you are my world and you have been since the first time I saw you. I felt love the first time I looked at you all those years ago in your backyard, and my world became a beautiful place to live in. I often ask myself, what in the world would I do without you now? I hope to never find out the answer to that question.
Iâm writing you this letter to tell you how much you mean to me, and to thank you for coming into my life. You are something I never thought could exist for me. You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and I don't regret telling you how I feel.
I love you Sim Jaeyun, today, tomorrow, forever.
Tears swim in Jakeâs eyes as he places the letter back in the depths of his desk. He wishes so badly that he didnât run, that he stayed and talked through his fears with you but he was too much of a coward and knew deep down that you deserved better. He never deserved you to begin with and he was a fool for ever thinking a broken boy like him could ever love someone as amazing as you.
After leaving, Jake found it hard to settle into his new routine. He missed your presence every single day, finding it harder and harder to ignore your text messages asking how he was, if he had eaten, if he liked the campus.
By the time Jake had realized how big of a mistake he made and just how much of an ass he looked like, he couldnât take it back. The damage had quite literally been done and it seemed you were moving on. The text messages stopped coming in, he was removed from your close friends and his mother no longer had any updates for him when he would ask. Apparently, you had stopped going over and it was rare to catch glimpses of you as the school year progressed.
When he had heard from his brother that you were no longer on the volleyball team he wanted to reach out and ask what happened. You loved the sport too much to just quit, especially during your senior year but Jake had a feeling he was the last person you wanted to hear from.
His first semester at Yale was nothing like he expected it to be, everything was dull and lifeless. Every day was the same routine: wake up, shower and brush his teeth, get dressed and head to lectures before studying at the library until midnight because his roommate had a girl over.
He felt like he was slowly losing his sanity. As the end of his first semester came to a close and winter break was fastly approaching Jake decided he had had enough. Yale meant nothing if you werenât in his life. He knew at that point you had probably sent in your college applications and were practically a shoe-in for Harvard so he did what he thought would bring him peace.
He sent in his transfer application before the end of the semester to be able to start in the spring and got his acceptance right before winter break. He didnât tell his parents about the sudden decision, knowing they wouldnât be happy with him but he was done living in his fear. It was what caused him to lose you and he would be damned if he let it happen again.
He eventually told them once everything was set and as expected he received an earful about his decision from his father before he realized how deadset his son was on this before backing down.
Once the spring semester started Jake could slowly feel his world start to mend. Everything seemed brighter at Harvard; the physics program was easier, the people were kinder, he had friends and his new roommate wasnât an ass.
Jay and Jake clicked the second Jake rolled his suitcases into the new room. Jay took him under his wing and treated him like a little brother. It felt nice to have someone to rely on, sure Jay wasnât you but he slowly became someone who meant the world to him and he looked up to. Eventually Jay introduced Jake to his friends Heeseung and Sunghoon and the four became an inseparable group. The four of them truly did everything together: they took all their gen ed classes together, they attended each other's sporting events and they would often go to frats together with Jake staying sober to take care of his friends.
The guys never pushed Jake to explore the women that approached him at parties knowing his heart belonged to you. They had heard him go on and on about you on several occasions and knew he only transferred to be close to you. They admired his determination to right his wrongdoings but were truthfully skeptical if it would work. They encouraged him to just text you, arguing the more time he let pass the harder it would be to win you back but Jake argued back that this was something that couldnât be fixed over text.
The semester flew by and Jake was increasingly getting excited. Once he had submitted his last final exam he was on the first flight back home to Australia in June. He couldnât wait for you to start school in the fall to talk to you and he was long overdue for a trip back home, two birds with one stone. However, when he made it back home to Brisbane his dreams were once again crushed. His mother informed him about your solo trip to Europe and how your parents had sent you away under the guise of it being a graduation gift but really it was out of fear of your declining mental health.
Jake was lost, he had heard nothing about your mental state as his mother insisted she knew nothing about your life anymore when he would inquire about you over the phone. It came as a shock when his mom sat him down to tell him about you being kicked off the volleyball team rather than you just leaving like he assumed, how you no longer attended study groups and even skip school now. What came as the biggest shock was hearing you didnât get into Harvard. Jake felt absolutely disgusted with himself.
He had caused this, he was the reason behind your suffering and yet he had the audacity to show up here thinking you would welcome him back. He was right, he really doesnât deserve you. Look at all the pain heâs caused you and what youâve lost in the process.
He didnât stick around much longer after that, He flew back to the states a week before you came back from New Zealand and became hell bent on leaving you alone. He owed you that much, some peace after bringing nothing but chaos into your life.
The rest of his summer was a haze, he spent it getting high or drunk with Heeseung and Jay. He didnât tell his friends about what he had heard from back home, the guilt eating at him but he made it clear that there would be no Jake and ____. The two of you were officially done.
Heesung and Jay were obviously worried about their friend, they knew of the love the male held for you and to see him so torn up over it that he was drinking all his inhibitions away or smoking until he was numb was alarming but they didnât stop him.
They did however intervene towards the end of the summer when Sunghoon came back from Korea and Jake insisted the group went to an end of summer kickback. They had never seen Jake so out of it, he got so crossfaded that he passed out at the party and was unresponsive for twenty minutes.
Emergency services had to be called and the party got shut down. It was safe to say his friends were done with his shit and sat him down and forced him to talk about his emotions because they would be damned if they watched him continue down this path and eventually die from it.
That night was an eye opener for Jake and he swore he would get better, promised he would stop holding things in and be more upfront about how he was feeling. Seeing Jay cry over the possibility of his death was what really put things into perspective for him, the thought of you also possibly being torn over him dying got him to take his sobriety seriously.
His friends held him accountable as the new school year began, they cut back on frat parties, made the effort to not drink as much around him and even began being more open with each other due to Jayâs claims of âvulnerability breeds vulnerability.â
It was safe to say that Jake was finally beginning to heal. He knew sooner or later he would have to face the consequences of his actions and he was fully prepared to do so, just not so soon. It was Sunghoonâs idea to go to the frat at Kappa Alpha Theta for his birthday. Jake was fully prepared to say no and spend the day alone. This would be his second birthday spent away from you and he wanted the privacy to read through old birthday paragraphs youâve sent him over the years and stare at the polaroids he took of you during your getaway to Sydney.
Jay and Heesung were having none of it though and insisted he needed to actually celebrate his birthday like Sunghoon said. Jake eventually caved when the three of them offered to stay sober with him. Seeing you at that party was devastating but seeing you in another man's arms was infuriating. Jake knew he had no right to be upset with you but it irked him that he was no longer the only male in your life. Jay had told him about the dance that took place before everything went to shit and Jake couldnât help but wonder if you had fully moved on from him. Heeseung had to remind him that if you had, Jake couldnât be upset with you, he had practically pushed you into Jungwonâs arms the second he decided to leave you behind in Australia.
âHow long do you plan on staring at your phone?â Heeseung asks as he enters the younger male's room with Jay and Sunghoon trailing behind him.
Jake sighs and tosses the device to the side, âshe still hasnât responded.â
Sunghoon takes a seat beside Jake on the bed, âgive her some space dude Iâm sure seeing you at the party was the last thing she expected.â
Jay hums, âyou did what you can. Give her space to decide what she wants.â
Jake heeds the advice of his friends. Heâs inconvenienced you enough, leaving you alone to decide if you want to meet him is what you need now. He can only hope you do decide to hear him out.
âI donât think you should go.â
You look up at Avi whoâs standing above you on the couch staring down at your phone screen, contempt written all over her face. You gently sigh and lock your phone, letting it fall on the couch with a soft thud.
âI know.â
Ever since the party Jake has constantly been texting you. Avi was beyond annoyed with the male and his inability to- âleave you the fuck alone.â You would read them as they come in, unable to bring yourself to delete the messages like Beomgyu advised when you told him about them.
âJust block his number, ____.â Avi huffs, crossing her arms as she stares down at you. You look away and draw figure eights into the couch cushions as you think.
âI canât.â
âWhy?â
Itâs silent for a beat, you think for a few seconds before shrugging. âI donât know.â
Avi sighs and uncrosses her arms. âYouâre being selfish.â
You stop drawing imaginary shapes on the couch and fix your eyes on Avi, waiting for her to continue.
âWhat about Jungwon? Have you stopped to consider what this would do to him if you let Jake just waltz his way back into your life?â
You purse your lips, you havenât talked to the younger male since the party. Heâs been reaching out as well, trying to gauge how youâre feeling with the sudden appearance of Jake but youâve yet to open them let alone respond.
âI donât k-â
Avi groans in annoyance, cutting you off. â-I swear if you say I donât know one more time, ____! Canât you see how bad Jake is for you? One appearance and a few text messages and look at you! Youâre not talking to us anymore, you havenât left your bed in almost two days! Jake is toxic, this isnât healthy!â
For some reason you want to defend his name, want to call Avi out on being a bitch but you donât. You know sheâs being logical and Jake doesnât deserve it so you keep quiet. When she realizes her approach may have been a bit too harsh she softens a bit and takes a seat beside you.
âIâm sorry, I just-.â She cuts herself off with a deep inhale. âJake will never love you the way Jungwon has. Itâs harsh but true. Maybe Jake did have his reasons but that doesnât change the fact that his approach was wrong. He didnât stop to consider how hurt you would be and thatâs not okay. Do you really want to be with someone who can hurt you so easily?â
She gently pats your back before continuing knowing you wonât answer. âJake is selfish, heâs only ever cared about himself and Jungwon has only cared about you. Donât miss out on what could be a great love with Jungwon because youâre infatuated with the idea of being with Jake.â
With that, she gets up and leaves you to stew in your thoughts. Sheâs right, Jungwon was the one to stay and pick up the pieces. He was the one to show you that love didnât have to be painful, heâs patient, kind and above all absolutely madly in love with you. He healed you from the pain Jake caused so why are you self sabotaging? Whoâs to say Jake wonât hurt you again? That he even has a valid reason for stringing you along?
Your phone buzzes on the couch pulling you out of your reverie. You sigh, expecting to find another text from Jake as you pick it up to look at it only to find itâs not from him but rather the other male youâve been ignoring.
[November 17th, 7:37 PM]
[jungwon]: do you want to grab lunch with me at tatte tmr at 2?
You want to scream at how fate is playing out, now you really have to choose.
[November 18th, 2:17 PM]
You march up the sidewalk to the sound of the steady patter of rain against the pavement that leads to the little cafe thatâs tucked between the huge city buildings and hidden away from view with vines crawling up its side. You come to a stop in front of the door and take a deep breath to calm yourself before entering.
A part of you is scared youâve made the wrong decision, you want to turn around and run to him but you know you need to see this through. People love to think about the what ifâs: what if I chose the wrong major? What if we werenât meant to ever meet? What if things had just gone the way I had so desperately wanted them to?
For you, it's what could have been that plagues your mind. To you, theyâre far worse than what ifâs because they were within your reach, the possibility of it coming to fruition so near but never close enough.
Jake has been your biggest what could have been, your almost. You try and reason that itâs okay that you picked him in the end, you need to know why. Why your love wasnât enough, why the two of you arenât together, why he was so quick to give up on the two of you.
You head inside and note the cafe isnât big, itâs small and cozy. You spot Jake easily, heâs sitting near the back by a window facing you. He offers you a hesitant smile and wave of his hand. You exhale and slowly walk towards his booth and slide into the seat across from him. He meekly slides a drink across the table.
âI know you always liked lattes so I ordered one for you, I hope you donât mind.â
You look down at the drink he had slid over to your side. It sits prettily in a white china cup, a leaf pattern in delicate milky foam among the pale brown. You wrap your fingers around it, enjoying the heat that spreads through your hands, grateful for the little warmth it provides. You take a hesitant sip, itâs bitter, but you recall telling Jake that only babies ask for hot chocolate.
Truth is, you had stopped drinking lattes once your friendship with him ended, the drink brought back too many unwanted memories. Memories of walking to the nearest cafe in Brisbane during finals season to get your coffee fix to stay up and finish studying were too apparent and hurt too much.
You take a bigger sip and this time let the warm liquid sit on your tongue for longer. You can't smell the bitterness of coffee beans in the warm air of the cafe and you feel safe and calm for just a moment. You allow yourself to get enveloped in the smell of baking bread and let your worries slip away for just a split second.
You place the cup back onto the table and slowly come back to reality. âThank you.â
Jake shoots a shy smile your way and shrugs, âanything for you.â
You clear your throat and sit straighter, back on alert. You fiddle with the handle of your teacup not knowing what to say. Was this a mistake after all?
Jake, sensing your hesitance, decides to speak up first. âIâm sorry.â
âWhyâd you do it?â
Jake studies your face for a good minute. He notes all the subtle changes about you, he picks up on your new hairstyle and the change in your clothes. He also picks up on the awkwardness that hangs in the air, things have never been this tense between the two of you and he doesnât know how to deal with it.
âI was scared that I wouldnât be enough.â Jake looks away for a brief moment to collect his emotions and make his apology sound as sincere as it can be. âEver since we were nine youâve loved me and I was scared that I would mess things up, that once we made things official you would expect more from me, more that I didnât know how to give and that ultimately I would be the cause of your unhappiness and all Iâve ever wanted was for you to be happy, ____.â
âI had enough love for the both of us,â you softly confess, your heart breaking at the revelation of how he truly felt at the time. âWhy didnât you just say that? Why didnât you let me love you?â
Jake gulps, tears stinging his eyes. âBecause it didnât seem like a fair trade. You donât deserve someone broken. I thought love came with conditions and I didnât want to drain you.â
You frown, growing annoyed with how he declares how you feel. It irks you how his brain works, how he assumed how you would react, how you would feel rather than giving you the opportunity to brave through the motions together.
âYou donât get to just make decisions on my half.â
Jake stiffly nods. âI know, Iâm sorry.â
Your hands ball up into fists, anger beginning to consume your body. âIâm sorry isnât enough! I was in love with you Jake! I was willing to go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile! Why didnât you just talk to me? I would have loved you enough until you could love yourself! We could have made it work!â
Jake shakes his head, âno we couldnât have.â
You glare at him, âwhy the fuck not!?â
This time Jake stays silent. Your eyes challenge him though, begging him to continue. To give you one good reason as to why he walked away but he gives you nothing, once again making you look like a fool for throwing caution to the wind and picking him.
Angry tears pool in your eyes as you forcefully stand from your seat and stare down at Jake. He looks up at you in surprise and shame. âDonât you fucking get it? Even after all this time, Iâm still in love with you!â You scoff as you see his eyes widening at your confession. âAnd yet you still canât be honest with me, I feel so stupid. You make me stupid Sim Jaeyun.â
You donât wait for him to respond before youâre bolting out of the coffee shop and out into the rain. Itâs coming down harder now than it was when you left. You let out a string of curses at how soaked youâre getting and at how embarrassed you feel for confessing your love to Jake.
â____! ____, wait!â
You hear him calling out to you but you donât stop, if anything it spurs you on to walk faster. The streets of Newbury are astonishingly empty due to the rain making it seemingly easy for a clean escape. What you fail to take into account though is Jakeâs ability to sprint due to years of soccer.
He grabs onto your arm and spins you around to face him, determination written all over his face.
âI donât deserve love, ____ I donât!â Jake can feel his head spin with hurt, pain and daunting thoughts that have always plagued his self-deprecating mind. âThatâs why I walked away. I canât be loved, not by you, not my dad, not by anyone. Iâm not worthy of it⊠Iâm not a lovable person.âÂ
âOh my Gosh..â You place a hand over your mouth, emotions reaching a crescendo as you raise your voice. âYes you are, Jake. Why do you think Iâm standing here and telling you I love you? Why do you think I ever did any of the things Iâve done for you? Couldnât you see it in the way I looked at you? In the way I touched you, the way I trusted you? Youâre worth every fucking last bit of love I have.âÂ
âYou are the greatest love I have ever known, ____. It felt selfish to keep you all to myself knowing you could have had more! Knowing I was holding you back-â
You shake your head cutting him off, âI only ever wanted you. You were always more than enough Jake and I wish you had just told me! I would have reassured you each and every time! Thatâs what you do when you love someone!â
Jake suddenly closes the gap between you, gripping your face intimately as he looks into your frantic eyes. âI didnât know how to talk through my emotions, ____. I thought it was better to deal with it alone and that caused me the best thing Iâve ever had. Iâm still in love with you. My feelings are so strong I donât know what to do with myself. I canât think straight, I donât think straight when it comes to you.â Your eyes stare back at his desperate ones, Jake trying so desperately hard to get you to understand. âI want to try again. I want to do it right this time and never let you go.â
Your lips quiver, taken aback by his warm touch and confession. Unable to resist the urge any longer, Jake slowly leans forward, one hand firmly grasping your waist, the other resting at the base of your neck, and presses your lips together. Lightning cracks overhead as the rain continues to pour down on the two of you, soaking through your clothes. But none of it matters. A warmth radiates through you as you continue kissing Jake as the world seems to melt around you. After a few moments, you slowly pull away, taking a small gasp of air. A sheepish smile creeps onto Jakeâs face as you sigh against his lips, breaking eye contact for a moment before Jake plants another, shorter kiss on your lips.
âI love you, ____. Iâm sorry for not trying hard enough before but please, give me another chance to love you the right way. The way you deserve. Iâm not scared anymore.â
You sniffle and nod your head, ââOkay. Letâs try again. No hiding this time. I want all parts of you Jaeyun, even the parts that scare you.â
He smiles and pecks your lip one last time. âYou have all of me.â
Youâre not sure whatâs worse, your sisterâs boyfriend or your sisterâs boyfriendâs friends. What you thought would be a great deal in living with her throughout college turns into a major game of cat and mouse, where youâre unsure if your moral compass is pointing in the right direction solely because you suspect someone is wearing a giant sex magnet to throw it off.Â
ážážáž minors do not interact!
ážážáž simp gamer ! lee heeseung x afab readerÂ
 ážážáž wc: 30k
 ážážáž tags: smut, sisterâs boyfriend trope, exhibitionism and voyeurism, dom heeseung, he is also unemployed lol, gaming antics, discord streaming, sexting, sex bets, shameless behavior, food mentions, alcohol use, implied sickness due to said alcohol, jake, sunghoon, and jay as the gamer friends who have a bet going. also the guys who get to watchâŠ.kind of.Â
 ážážáž !WARNINGS!: cheating/infidelity, dubcon-ish at one instance, heeseung is mean and manipulative. instances where jake, jay, and sunghoon take advantage of a situation where reader is drunk (conversation based), the reader can be lifted, visibly marked, has hair that can have fingers ran through it, and blushes visibly.
 ážážáž a/n: this fic was written for heeseung's gf @drunkhazed! i really loved the idea, as you can see, i kind of went crazy with it. i hope it lives up to your imagination but maybe not idk. you better love it anyway oomfie, bc i loved writing it for u. this fic was briefly edited but likely still has a million typos and grammar errors.
ážážáž nsfw tags below
ážážáž nsfw tags: 10â heeseung, dubcon-ish at one instance, masturbation, pillow humping, cum eating, degradation, hentai watching, sexting, sex on camera, blow job, voyeurism, exhibitionism, deep penetration, cream pie, breeding, blood and spit, one mention of piss but no actual piss (form of degradation), fingers down your throat.
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Walking into an empty room has never felt so freeing, especially in knowing this is your space. Safe from your parents, bare and ready to be adorned with all of the things you hold dear to you. Whatâs even better? Itâs bigger than your room back home, and you even have a little attached bathroom of your own.Â
Life is great. You think studying here will ease your mind and allow you to graduate top of your class by the time itâs all over and done with. If you could kiss your sister, you would, really.Â
You remember being kids and the two of you promising that when you grow up, youâd live together and never grow apart. After actually growing up though, she finished her degree and went off on her own, leaving you by yourself with no one to get you through the hardships of becoming a college student yourself.
With her working full time for several years and you struggling your own way to the top, she really did follow through with that young childhood promise.Â
âWhy donât you come live with me through college? Iâm sure it would be easier than living with all those rules.âÂ
You didnât even think twice and had your bags packed a single day after the invitation. You stayed up all night getting it done, emptying your childhood room filled with both good and bad memories. Alas, you did have to wait until the spring semester was over though. Thankfully, you were only sleeping in a packed up room for about a week.
You find yourself here now, with your sister lovingly making lunch in the kitchen while her boyfriend, who you have only met briefly at holiday gatherings, stays in the office-turned-gaming room hooting and howling over some game heâs playing.
âDonât mind him.â She half-smiles when he doesnât immediately head for the kitchen, making her own plate and moving to the table with a sense of annoyance. âHeâll be out in a bit, itâs a pretty normal occurrence.âÂ
âYou donât think itâs rude?â You furrow your brows now, automatically assuming that your sister deserves a man willing to work just as much as she does. Still, you donât entirely mind that you werenât forced into an official meeting of the man of the house first thing when you walked in.
âNah, not really. Been dating him for years, I knew what I signed up for when I moved him in.â She smiles while shaking her head, seemingly accepting all of his positives and negatives.
âDoes he not have a job?â You pry, picking at your plate and trying to memorize his actual name because for a little while, you really started to wonder if his name was just a variation of âhoneyâ and âbabeâ. Thankfully not.Â
âHeâs looking for one.â She says, looking at you and trying to read your judgment. âBefore you say anything, he has money. Orâwell, his parentâs have money. They pay his half of the rent right now.â
You shrug, noting that she really does seem happy and youâd be the best person to judge her level of fulfillment outside of herself anyway. You trust that she picked the right man, even if heâs still screaming in the other room with an empty stomach.Â
âBy the wayâŠâ She says with a wicked smile, one that you remember growing up with. The other end of that smile always ends with some sort ofâŠantic. âWeâre throwing you a welcome party this weekend. Inviting all of our friends too, so itâs easier for you to start being social on this side of town.â
You would groan, but growing up in your childhood home with your parents never came with parties. No birthdays at home, no sleepovers, nothing. Hell, they wouldnât even allow you to attend other parties as a child, and going to college parties was out of the question.
The only party you ever attended was during the time you snuck out. They made damn sure you never snuck out again after that mishap as well.Â
âOh, really?â You chew and speak at the same time, not minding your manners at all considering you can get away with it now. âIs there gonna be alcohol?âÂ
âOh, yes, yes.â She smiles again. âGonna give you a proper party since, you know.â
You nod to her and you both laugh together at the found freedom you share, and then, well, the king of screaming like a toddler walks in. His hair looks like shit, an indent at the top of the messy locks indicating that he must have had his headset on for a long fucking time. Loose shirt with the sleeves pushed up, eyes sleepy and red, probably burning from the sunlight coming through the windows, and some sort of smile on his face. He looks at his girlfriend with that tired smile, about to thank her for the meal, then his eyes trail to you.
âOh fuckââ His hands raise to run his fingers through his hair, then both rest on the back of his neck as he lets out a big sigh. âWas that today?âÂ
You give him the side eye of all side eyes at this moment. Reminding yourself how you and your sister spent all morning hauling your stuff in without his help. She also did say he would have put together your desk, dresser, shelf, and bed frame by the time you got here. Well, he didnât.
âYep.â She pops the p on the end of her word indicating passive aggressive annoyance.Â
âShit.â He mumbles under his breath, placing his empty plate right back into the cupboard and making his way to your room. âIâll do it now. Iâm sorry babe.âÂ
Your sister nods triumphantly, watching your look of surprise in reaction to the way he instantly appears to fix his mistake without more than a single word from her.Â
âHe knows when he fucks up. He was supposed to do it yesterday but as you can see, he hasnât left his PC since like, nine oâ clock last night.â She shrugs.
You laugh, furrowing your brow at her.Â
âI really didnât expect him to be so lazy, sis, I always figured youâd be dating a doctor or something.âÂ
She brushes off her shoulders with a proud look, leaning towards you with a smile.Â
âHe was working a really good job but I could see how unhappy he was. Iâm giving him a year or two to figure himself out. Heâs been back and forth trying new things, hasnât quite landed on anything he likes yet though.âÂ
She is a fucking saint. Honestly, Heeseung might be the luckiest man in the world to have a woman willing to do such a thing for him.Â
âWoah,â You start, taking a sip of your water. âHeâs trying to make it as a streamer right now, I take it?â
She shakes her head with an eye roll.
âNot really, heâs just always spent as much free time as possible playing but, I trust that heâll figure something out sooner rather than later.âÂ
And you pry for a while longer. Learning about all of the things your sister and Heeseung do together, learning about her friends and his friends, the rules of the house, and the not-rules of the house. For instance, youâre allowed to bring home hook-ups or dates if you give a fair warning so she doesnât have to hear it. However, the food in the fridge is for the house occupants only, and people need to ask before opening the cupboards and filling their plates. Of course, unless there is a party.Â
Another rule, which was a bit too much information but you figure itâs fair since everyone here is an adult. She and Heeseung apparently have a pretty active sex life and apologized in advance for some of the things you may end up hearing. She also noted that there will be ear plugs if you need them, but that she suggests throwing on some headphones and ignoring it. Fair enough, itâs her house anyway.Â
And after a few hours pass, Heeseung makes his way out of your room with a smile on his face. You remember seeing him maybe two or three times during the holidays but he never mingled with you. He never mingled with anyone, actually. He tended to keep to himself, with his loose fitting outfits always sticking out in the awkward family photos that your sister would sneak him into. Thatâs all you can really recall about him.Â
It is kind of strange seeing him in his natural habitat of your sisterâs house. Already, youâve seen more personality in him than you ever did during the brief meetings. Itâs kind of nice to see him proudly nodding his head to your bedroom as if to invite you in properly like he should have done hours ago when you arrived. He took it upon himself to rearrange the room for maximum space. Arguably, youâre impressed.Â
âI unpacked some of your things too.â He comments as he hugs your sister from behind in the doorway. âNeeded to make sure the dresser drawers wouldnât cave in.âÂ
Your eyes trail to the pretty dresser, painted white with even prettier trim on it. Itâs the first time youâve ever had a matching bedroom set. You head over and take a peek in the drawers, noting that he didnât just haphazardly throw your clothes in there.Â
Top drawer, all of your undergarments are fucking folded. Second drawer, socks, tights, and leggings, third drawer, soft pajama sets also folded. And the fourth drawer remains empty.
You turn to look at him, embarrassed by the fact that he took it upon himself to do that. You canât see a single shred of embarrassment in his own face though, and it appears he really was just being nice.Â
âDonât be embarrassed. I do the laundry here so Iâll be folding those more often than youâd think.â He smiles, and your sister lends a chuckle.Â
âHeâs gotta do something while Iâm making most of the money.â She shrugs, totally fine with the fact that her boyfriend just handled every piece of underwear you own save for the ones youâre wearing.Â
âCloset too, hung up what I could but Iâm like, really hungry so I figured I could leave the rest to you.âÂ
You nod in appreciation, in awe of your new room and the soft, plush carpet on your floor. Your old room was hard wood with dust filled corners, it felt cold. Here though? You feel welcomed, warm, and cozy.Â
Hundreds of ideas flood your mind about how you want to decorate the room and as you go to start unpacking your miscellaneous items, your sister nods and backs out of the room with her boyfriend still hugging her from behind.Â
There, youâre left to your own devices.Â
Another thought crosses your mind when you hear the door close as well. The fact that you havenât had a door to close for your bedroom since you snuck out all those years ago. The sound felt like music to your ears as you found yourself falling back on the bare mattress with a deep and relieved sigh.Â
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With all of the unpacking, wall art compositions, and napping in between, the week flew by quicker than you anticipated.
Waking up today, at half past two in the afternoon felt so good. Your duvet felt crispy, your room was completed and finally your own, and it felt safe. You could smell the breakfast cooking in the kitchen, and your sisterâs voice paired with Heeseung ringing fondly at each other.Â
Little bit strange that you didnât wake up to silence in the house, considering Heeseung is usually just now heading to sleep with that fucked up sleep schedule and your sister is normally lounging in the living room with a snack, iced coffee, and watching her favorite reality shows. Save for when sheâs at work all day, of course.
Still, you slowly pull yourself out of bed feeling happy and refreshed, stepping into your attached bathroom to do your morning routine before exiting the room, and then heading into the kitchen with a small âgood morning.â
âItâs nearly three in the afternoon.â Your sister smiles at you. âBut good morning to you too sis.â
Heeseung, seemingly dressed for the day with a band tee and a beanie on, lends you a glance and a wave as he swings back and forth in the kitchen, mixing pancake batter in a bowl for your sister and unaware of the speckle of said batter stuck in a strand of his hair.Â
You lean over your sisterâs shoulder after waving back to him, noting how sheâs making little bite-sized pieces of pancake. Ah, this is the life, really.Â
âWell? Donât just stand there? Pour some juice or something. We need a big meal before tonight.â Your sister laughs at your sleepy content hum from behind her, noting how you act much like she did when she first got out of the childhood home.Â
You take a step back, eyeing the room, trying to put the puzzle pieces together as to why Heeseung is awake and dressed and why sheâs making a big meal to begin with. Both your sister and Heeseung note the confusion on your face.Â
âAh, she forgot.â He rumbles with a smirk, not keeping his eyes on you for too long as his focus falls back to mixing.Â
âDid you really forget?â Your sister rolls her eyes with a spatula in hand, turning to you and putting her other hand on her hip. âEveryone seems excited to meet you, theyâll probably start pouring in around six or seven tonight.â
âOh, right! The party!â You exclaim, shocked that you really did forget about it. With your sisterâs promise of alcohol, you assume that explains the large breakfast, and also probably why Heeseung doesnât look like a total slob.
âYeah, the party.â Heeseung snickers, his back turned away from you but overall acting as if youâve already lived here for months. Throwing the same sarcasm at you that your sister does.Â
âNow go pour some juice, we have to go to the store after this and pick out drinks.â Your sister finally says, turning back to flip the pancakes in the pan. âYou have drank since I moved out, right? You never wanted to try anything with me back then.â
You reluctantly nod your head, and your sister gasps fondly.
âSomeone got into the liquor cabinet?âÂ
You nod with a laugh, knowing that you learned how to do it from her despite always being too chicken as a teenager to do it with her. The curiosity of being drunk didnât outweigh the fear of being caught at all for you, at the time anyway.Â
âSunghoon is usually the one babysitting us, so no need to worry about pacing yourself.â Heeseung comments along with his sneaky side eye at you.Â
You donât notice him do it at all, and even if you did youâd just assume itâs a passing glance. After all, you did open the fridge a little too hard.
âSunghoon?â You ask.Â
âOne of my friends,â He raises his hand to his hair to try and shake out the now, obvious, speckle of batter thatâs starting to dry in the strands. âBy the way, when you go to bed tonightâ make sure you lock your door.â He continues, turning around now and leaning against the counter just to watch you lift on your toes for some of the cups in the cabinet.Â
His eyes watch the way you lift, your calf muscles flexing, your back arching slightly as you try to reachâŠAnd, well, heâs acting much like any man would, if heâs being honest, but ultimately he keeps his eyes to himself when your sister is turned or looking at him.Â
âNoted.â You nod without paying much attention, pouring the drinks and now moving the filled glasses to the table.
You make brief eye contact with him, noting how heâs already looking at you while your sister is simply listening, facing the other way and mostly just focused on not burning the pancakes.
âIâm serious. Lock your door.â He repeats, scanning your body and judging just how dangerous it is for you to be living here.Â
Mostly because heâs always found you quite cute, and heâs very aware that his friends probably will too. Hell, heâs already crossed a line with you since day one of you living here, heâs shocked you havenât yet picked up on it, and knows very well that his friends will make moves instantly if you give them a chance. And with all things considered, you seem a bit too unaware of how attractive you are.Â
âHm?â You raise a brow as you make your way back to the kitchen. âI was going to, but now youâre making it sound important.â
âWell,â Your sister chimes in, stepping back once and holding out her hand. Heeseung is quick adjust his eyes, handing the fresh bowl of batter to her with a kiss to her cheek as if he wasnât just eye fucking you. âAll of them are single, and youâre just about as good looking as I am.â She laughs half-heartedly.Â
Sheâs not trying to have an ego, but itâs best to warn you now at least. Itâs not that she thinks sheâs hot or anything, but she knows they think she is. And if thatâs the case, theyâre gonna be drooling over the younger, more single, version of herself.Â
Heeseung rolls his eyes now though, leaning back against the counter and scanning you again the second your sister has her back turned. This time more blatantly. Eyes landing on the curve of your hips to the length of your legs.Â
âYeah.â He says, sucking in a breath with a half lidded gaze, letting his eyes trail down. âIâll try to keep them at bay, though.âÂ
For Heeseung, there is nothing wrong with looking. For you? You feel very seen by him and itâs kind of throwing you for a loop. Your appearance becomes the main point of conversation and it makes you want to kind of leave the kitchen.Â
âI doubt thatâll be an issue.â You try to laugh it off.Â
âNo, seriously.â Your sister says, turning to look at you briefly to give you a serious expression. âBack when I first met Heeseung, all four of them were after me. I swear, theyâre more than just competitive with their games.âÂ
âI always win though.â Heeseung nods triumphantly, now keeping his eyes to himself and focusing more on his girlfriend.
âThat, you do.â She boasts for him, leaning back after moving the pancakes to a plate and landing a kiss on his lips.Â
You study how they move together. So in sync, not stepping on each otherâs toes, ultimately moving in harmony. Likes it natural to them. She really does look happy, and he just looks like a guy who doesnât know where to land his gaze.Â
A normal guy, you think, who was given the same freedom your sister gives to you. It really is just who she is to take care of people, and the harsh judgment you originally had about Heeseung kind of fades a little bit as you watch them.Â
You try not to study him too much though because damn, your sister knows how to pick them in terms of like, scale of attractiveness. Heeseung is the type of guy the two of you would giggle over at the mall. The type youâd silently bicker over from behind a store rack of jackets, or perhaps even fantasize about during a long and boring tv show with your parents.Â
Itâs not strange to find him attractive, because, well, he is. But you know your place here, and youâve grown up to the point to know that you can appreciate a personâs looks and not need anything from them at the end of the day.Â
However, you kind of hope his friends are at the same level as him. For one, to avoid having a secret crush on Heeseung, because who wouldnât? And secondly, theyâre single, just like you.Â
Apparently theyâre also a threat to the âinnocenceâ both your sister and Heeseung seem to want to protect within you.Â
âIâll lock my door.â You say finally, receiving a happy nod from both of them as they continue their cooking and you make your way to the table.Â
And while you do plan to lock your door, you also plan to take your time in getting dressed for the party. You kind of do want to be pounced at, or at least, feel the freedom of knowing you can look however you want without your parents forcing you into the ugliest outfit known to man. You know how to dress yourself, youâve just never quite been allowed to do it. All those sneaky clothes your sister bought for you can finally come in handy.Â
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When your sister mentioned throwing you a welcome party, you expected a gathering of friends standing around awkwardly sipping wine coolers. What you didnât expect was for there to be mood lighting, music, an array of nicely dressed people, and a large gaming set up in the living room where the big screen television was muted and a maximum of eight at a time could go head to head on super smash bros.Â
You found yourself enjoying it more and more as the night went on and you became more comfortable being greeted by strangers. Each drink you were handed mostly came from your sister, but by the time she stopped making her own drinks and began to drink whatever the hell-mix her friends were giving to her, Heeseung was the one handing you drinks.Â
âCome hereââ Heeseung says over the blaring music, still floored by how good you look now versus how good you looked this morning. To him, the drinks heâs having paired with you running around looking like this? Itâs even more dangerous than he thought as he continuously finds himself staring, and finds you seemingly still unaware of it.Â
 âIâll show you how to mix this one.â
Your sister was off somewhere in the house with her group of pretty friends, and youâve really only briefly met everyone as they walked in the door. The drinks in your system make you want to actually mingle though. Everyone else is mingling, everyone else looks comfortable and happy to enjoy the party. It drives you to feel the same.
You nod to Heeseung with warmth in your cheeks, noting that he looks about as tipsy as you do when he stumbles his way back into the brightly lit kitchen with you. Your eyes burn at the light, as do his, and he groans at it before opening the fridge and pulling out the cranberry juice.Â
âYour sister said youâve probably only chugged from a bottle, so I opted to give you the easiest drink to make.â He explains in a slight slur, setting the juice on the counter and ultimately knocking it with his elbow when he turns to grab the vodka bottle. âCranberry juice and vodka.â
You feel endeared by his genuine smile and embarrassed laugh at the way he knocked over the juice, watching him in his own element and comfort zone. It makes you feel a little guilty that heâs been the one making your drinks, only because your sister must have asked him to by the time she got too drunk.Â
Heeseung seems to do just about everything she asks of him, and while youâre thankful, you feel a little bad that heâd probably rather be in the other room with his friends rather than trapped in this empty and terribly lit kitchen teaching you how to make a fucking mixed drink.Â
âI put aboutââ He starts, grabbing your cup and pouring it half full with vodka. âthis much into yours.â
In your own state, itâs not like youâd know whatâs too much or whatâs too little to put into a drink, but so far everything heâs handed to you tasted good. So, you nod at him, attempting to focus in on the cup.
âAnd this much juice.â He continues, now pouring not enough juice into the vodka.
From this angle, watching him from behind, you pause for a moment in your tipsy brain. Distracted by the way his shoulders flex when heâs grabbing that big ass bottle of juice, but youâre quick to tear your eyes away. Heâs just a nice looking guy, dressed up for the first time since you moved in, you canât fucking help it. Surely your sister would understand if she ever caught you checking him out, right?
âThen just stir it.â He adds now, turning to face you and dipping two fingers deep into the liquid of your cup, swirling them, then handing you the drink.Â
He sucks the remaining mixture off of his fingers in a blatant show of his interest that youâre still far too aloof to pick up, watching you pretend he didnât catch you staring. And with his fingers still in his mouth, he smirks around them, giving you a pleased expression when you take a sip from the cup.Â
You glance up just for a second when you taste the same exact drink heâs been making you for the past forty five minutes and nod, trying not to focus on the way his tongue darts between his fingers twice before he pulls them out of his mouth.Â
âGood?â He asks for confirmation, and when you smile and nod again, his eyes stare harder.Â
Surely itâs just because youâre drunk, but you swear heâs giving you bedroom eyes, and paired with what he just did with his tongueâŠ.well. He looks at you similar to how he did this morning. And when you moved in. And back during that one Holiday party he attended at your childhood home.Â
Definitely the alcohol. Like, heâs dating your sister. Sheâs the prettier one, the more successful one, the one with more personality. Youâre just you. No way in hell is he really looking at you the same way he looks at her. Itâs just your boosted confidence of finally being able to wear such a skimpy outfit. Itâs just the liquid courage, thatâs all.Â
âYou knowââ He starts this time, leaning against the counter like he did this morning while helping your sister cook, trying to appear casual, cool, and perhaps attractive in this stance. âWhen I was beating Jayâs ass on smash bros earlier, he mentioned you.âÂ
You continue to sip your drink, feeling a buzzing in your chest and ears as you listen to him. Far more able now to have any conversation he could throw at you compared to any other day. Even with the thought in your head that he might be checking you out.
âOh? Which one is Jay again?â You ask, leaning slightly to peek around the wall at the crowd of bodies just a room over. Interest peaking solely because the majority of people in this house right now are like, next level attractive. Maybe this Jay guy can take your thoughts off of your sisterâs fucking boyfriend.Â
âThe one with the sunglasses on his head, wearing all black.â He starts, leaning close next to you and pointing just in front of your line of sight. âHeâs a fucking loser, though.âÂ
You look at the guy, trying to remember the short greeting he gave to you. A nod of his head when he pushed those same sunglasses up and into his hair. He threw a very quick glance at you, to your face, chest, legs, then back to your face where he nodded again before making his way into the kitchen to make himself a drink. You think, maybe, that Jay guy judged you positively upon meeting you.Â
âHe didnât even tell me his name, no wonder I didnât know which one he was.â You lend a drunken laugh as you check him out, sipping your drink again while listening to Heeseung laugh next to you.Â
His laugh sounds closer, which makes sense considering heâs now leaning his weight on you with his elbow on your shoulder, resting his head there.Â
âI thought he was that oneââ You say, now pointing your own finger to the other guy you met briefly, the one with the longer hair, dyed blonde with hella untouched roots..Â
He had a nice smile when he greeted you, leaning in for a warm hug with a small âgreat to finally meet you.â His clothes drastically differed from Jayâs though. Far more casual and normal, loose jeans and a large hoodie just like what Heeseung seems to wear so often, except the colors were a bit brighter.
âNah, thatâs Jake.â Heeseung snorts, breathing in your scent as he leans into you as closely as he can, letting the stands of his hair poking out from his beanie tickle your neck. âCareful with that one, heâs a pervert.âÂ
Youâre quick to admit interest in this one too, swatting Heeseungâs hair from your neck without thinking much about it. Which, arguably, doesnât quite sit well with him.
Not only are you almost entirely ignoring him now, but itâs his fault for pointing out his friends to you again despite his attempts at making them appear unappealing to you. It seems that his girlfriendâs little sister is a bit too eager to look at guys, yet not eager enough to look at him.
âOh yeah?â You look for a little too long at Jake, in Heeseungâs opinion, as he draws his finger over to the very sober Sunghoon.Â
âYou remember meeting him though, he made sure of it.â Heeseung rolls his eyes from beside you, leaning hard. âAlso a pervert, just a little less obvious. Iâd steer clear.âÂ
âIs Jay the only one that isnât a pervert?â You ask off handedly in a shy chuckle, bobbing your head now to the music bumping against the walls.Â
âGod, did I not just tell you he mentioned you?â Heeseung shifts his weight to his other leg, skewing his head and looking straight down your shirt. âHe asked if you were like your sister, the freak.â
He leans away from you at that point, noting that your drink is already near empty again and needing to refill it so that way he can push his own opinions into that empty little brain of yours.Â
âWhat do you mean, like my sister?â You ask, watching him take the cup from you and place it right there in front of the same ingredients he just used to make the drink before.Â
âWell,â He tilts his head back slightly when he turns to prepare the drink, eyes looking at you in a dark and somewhat scary way, still with a charming smile though. âYour big sis kind of got a little dirty on our first date. Guess Jay hopes youâre the same.â
Heeseung hopes you are too, but not for them.Â
And, for you? Itâs not like youâve ever been given a chance to do such a thing. However, upon meeting and then re-meeting his friends from afar, all of them really are quite attractive. Maybe you could follow in your sisterâs footsteps just to say that yes, you fuck on the first date too.
âI guess I am a bit like her.â You say offhandedly, looking away from Heeseung and tipping your head back around the corner to check the three men out again.
And when Heeseung turns to give you another full drink, he snaps his fingers.Â
âGet back in here.â He says, and when you turn to face him again, his eyes land right back on your chest.Â
âIâd advise against it.â He slurs at seeing your curious gaze land on one specific friend, stirring your drink with his fingers much like he did before. âJay is a slut.â
âAll of them are, actually.â
Unfortunately, Heeseungâs warnings go through one ear and out the other. He can see it, especially with the way you place that drink up to your lips and make your way into the living room, leaving him behind without so much as a âthank youâ.Â
And when you sit, directly between Jay and Jake, both of them turn their heads from the large TV screen, which allows Sunghoon to land some pretty major blows on them until he, himself, turns his head to witness two drunk idiots and a pretty girl between them.Â
âHeeseung said you asked about me.â You state boldly, leaning into the wrong person to say it.Â
âWell, heâs a liar.â Jake bellows out, studying how drunk you are and glancing up at Jay with a snide grin. Raising his brows and gripping his controller.Â
âThat would be me who asked.â Jay pipes in, and itâs the first time youâve heard his voice directly address you, but man, alcohol is fun. It makes you feel even more bold when you turn to look at him with a face that you assume shows interest.
âWhy didnât you just ask me yourself?â You ask, ignoring that you fumbled the greeting.
âYou werenât drunk enough,â Jay laughs, ignoring the screen as it gives Sunghoon his win. âI see now though,â He looks you up and down, slouching back against the couch and stretching his arm wide around the back of it, and you.â Youâre definitely drunk.â
You nod happily, eyes turning to Jake, who is still just checking you out.Â
âSure am.â You laugh, hopping up in one motion and turning to face them. âHeeseung also told me that youâre all fucking perverts, so.â
Jay and Jake both lend a âwhat the fuck, bro?â face at Heeseung, who was slouched against the wall, yet again, watching how you interact with his friends. He simply shrugs at them with a malicious smile into his drink. After all, heâs the one on top of the world right now. Not only does he have a hot as fuck girlfriend who lets him live and do as he pleases, but now heâs got a younger version of her running around, acting like she knows how to whore herself out.
He can tell youâre just like her in that regard. Ready, willing, wanting to experience everything all at once if the world throws it at you. From the way you sat between his friends to the way you snitched on him with a pretty smile on your face. Oh man, the guys probably love you already.
âSo, what?â Jay rolls his eyes as Jake watches you stand on wobbling legs. âYou donât like to get laid?â
You bellow out a laugh that nearly throws you off balance, but Jake is very quick to lunge forward and grab your arm to steady you, forcing you to spill your drink all over yourself and him.Â
âSure I do,â You ignore the blatant show of your mindstate and instead, remember how youâve actually had plenty of sex during whatever time you could fit, in whatever place was hidden enough that didnât involve your own home. âWhy, you trying to get some?â
Jay smirks at you as Jake holds your half-spilled drink, listening to you flirt and smiling much the same way.Â
âMaybe.â Jay shrugs, side eyeing both of his friends. âYou gonna give it up?â He adds, now blatantly checking you out from head to toe, liking very much what heâs seeing.Â
âNope.â Heeseung suddenly cuts in, staring his three friends in the face as he grabs your drink from Jake and hands it back to you before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pretending to be the knight in shining armor your sister wants him to be.Â
You look back at the three men as Heeseung leads you away, then you note that Sunghoon shrugs at you.
âWhat the hell?â You ask, slightly annoyed with Heeseung and the lights of the kitchen blinding you once again. âI was busy.â
âBusy doing what? Teasing my friends?â Heeseung shakes his head as he turns away from you, placing your cup down and opening the bottles back up. âYouâre playing a dangerous game, babe, Iâd stop if I were you.âÂ
âAnd? Maybe I like it.â You roll your eyes, ignoring how the alcohol radiates behind your eyes and lends two Heeseungs to pretend youâre not attracted to. At least with his friends, you can be more open about it.Â
Heeseung stops making your drink and turns to look at you and the way your eyes struggle to adjust. Heâs entirely floored by that statement. The fact that youâve kept to yourself for the most part since youâve moved in, and now youâre all cute and drunk in front of him revealing just how much of a whore you might be if you were given the chance? Damn.Â
âYour sister would kill you.â He says, turning back to your drink and knowing that your sister probably wouldnât actually give a shit if you fuck his friends. He does though.Â
âI mean, I guess I wonât stop you.â He lies, now turning back to make your drink the exact same way and giving it to you despite knowing he shouldnât be giving you more.Â
âCan honestly say youâre a bit too pretty for them, though.â He adds in a snide compliment, wanting so badly to flirt but doing his best to appear like itâs totally normal for him to say these things.Â
And as he notes your stare at him, processing the words, he takes this moment to grab a towel from the sink to dab away at the drink that you previously spilled all over yourself.Â
You look at him, watching him dab the towel against your arm. He seems focused on doing it, pretty face and clear skin shining in these morgue lights in the kitchen compared to everywhere else in the house. And then, you note how when he looks up, his eyes stop momentarily at the amount of cleavage youâre revealing for this occasion. Hah, he probably thinks his messy strands of hair hid his eyes from you, but you saw it.Â
âOh, I get it.â You take in a deep inhale, reaching to pull his beanie over his eyes and letting out a bold laugh because really, youâre pretty drunk by this point. âYouâre a pervert too.â
Heeseung shrugs, lifting the beanie back up and standing much taller in front of you. He skews his head down, looking right past your face and down your shirt this time. Proud of seeing the curve of them and the space between that could probably stimulate any cock you squeeze there.
âMaybe, yeah.â He smirks, taking a slight step closer and letting both arms trap you against the counter, hovering above you with an intimidating stance. âMaybe even more than they are.â He adds, already preparing himself to press his hips up and against you, uncaring of how it would look if he were to be found like this with you.Â
Unfortunately, heâs forced to care because thereâs a happy pair of footsteps making their way to the kitchen, and he really should not have been about to do that in the first place. He stumbles back at the sound, smiling at you with a quick, tipsy wink.Â
It leaves you a little dizzy as you stare at him with a weird kind of aroused feeling in your gut. Surely thatâs the alcohol too, it has to be. Youâre very quick to shrug off the small intimate moment as you hear your sisterâs loud and booming voice calling out his name.
You watch as she envelopes him in a fraction of a second, lifting on her unbalanced feet to immediately start making out with him.Â
Youâre not sure why you stand there and watch for a second, a little zoned out before Heeseung opens his eyes briefly and looks at you throughout the bruising kiss heâs currently an active participant of.Â
Thereâs that same look again, only this time heâs doing it while licking into your sisterâs mouth. Youâre so fucking confused right now. All the signals have to be your imagination, right?
You snap out of the daze then, whispering a small âill just go somewhere else.â before leaving the kitchen and finding yourself at the table just outside of it.Â
You try to keep your eyes to yourself at this point regarding Heeseung, feeling all of the buzz and heat in your gut at the idea of being allowed to be openly sexually attracted to just about any man you lay eyes on. Heâs nothing special, just a handsome guy. His friends are just as attractive, right?
And as you trail your eyes around the room trying to find someone to go mingle with, you are instead surrounded by your sisterâs friends. Still, when you glance to the living room, every single time, either Jake, Jay, or that other guy is watching you with eyes that youâve read before from other men.
Arguably, the same eyes Heeseung gave you just a few minutes before. At least with them, you know youâre not reading those bedroom eyes wrong.
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âGive me a week.â Jake says, elbowing Jay in the side and taking a hefty sip of his terribly mixed drink as his eyes drift to the new girl surrounded by other hot girls. âI'll be in her bed before the week is up..âÂ
Jay rolls his eyes, standing from the couch and stretching out his own tipsy limbs as he walks to Sunghoon and sits on that couch instead.Â
âThree days for me then.â He says, giving Jake a too-confident face. âI could go over there right the fuck now and have her on her knees, probably.â He says as he looks at you, fitting in so well with the group of girls. Possibly being the hottest one too. âMaybe.â
Sunghoon rolls his eyes at his slurring best friends, clearly drunker than they realize.Â
âYou both take the wrong approach.â He says, stiffening his shoulders before slouching entirely against the couch, considering ditching the baby-sitting job and having a drink as well. âYou think theyâd just let you fuck her? Iâll get her to go on a date with me first. Get her legs open in my car after.â
âQuite frankly, Sunghoon, I donât really give a shit if theyâd let me. Iâm going to get some of that.â Jay responds.
All three of them are staring at you, thankfully, you donât seem to notice as you fall into a conversation with that same group of girls, plus your sister now. And just as Jake was about to add more to the conversation, Heeseung makes his way in.Â
âDonâtââ Heeseung slurs as he flops beside Jake, letting his heavy limbs hurt his friend. ââeven think about it, Jakey boy.â He says, knowing for a fact what all three of his whore friends are thinking. Theyâve been staring and glancing at you all night.
Jake avoids eye contact, because heâs definitely thinking about it.Â
âNo worries.â Jay shrugs. âWeâre just looking, thatâs all.â
Somehow, someway, all three of Heeseungâs friends pick up on what Jay is putting down. Ah, a deal of leaving him out, they suppose.Â
After all, Heeseung already managed to bag your sister. They know heâd keep her little sister off limits to them too. Out of respect or some shit, probably. Bro code, all of that.Â
âKeep it that way.â He hums, shoving Jake and laughing. âSheâs too hot for you guys anyway, just like her sister.â
Thereâs a shared look between the three as Sunghoon lunges for Jayâs drink and takes a sip of it.Â
âHeeseung, weâre crashing here tonight.â He bellows out through tangy lips.Â
And, well, Heeseung didnât argue because he knows heâs not in a state to really give a shit at this point. The only thing he needs to be focused on right now is willing his cock to soften up a bit before he does something drastic about it.
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Heeseung thinks hard as he looks at himself in the mirror. Heâs seeing two of himself which is kind of funny in one aspect, but also terrifying because he didnât intend to drink this much.
Why is he so upset to see his friends go for you? Youâve been here a week and heâs already feeling so jealous? Really? Then again, he knew from the moment your sister told him you were moving you that it was going to be either very interesting or incredibly difficult.Â
Mostly because heâs stolen glances at you for years. Wondering when youâd ever come to visit, always looking so pretty and happy during those brief holiday gatherings. Oh yes, heâs had his eye on you for a fucking while. And now? Youâre living here? And coming onto his friends right after he warned you not to?Â
For the past hour as he sipped and watched you roam the house, back and forth between the girls, your sister, and his boys, he couldnât help but scoff at you for it. You havenât spoken to him since the kitchen incident. A little bit of a blatant moment on his part, he admits, he even surprised himself with that.
Still, this protective feeling doesnât come from being your future brother in law. Absolutely not. It stems entirely from the twitch in his pants heâs gotten nearly every single moment heâs gotten to take a long look at you.Â
It was manageable before, where heâd see you maybe once or twice a year. But now? Itâs every single day, and it pisses him off that youâre not mingling with him during this party.Â
He stares at himself, bobbing his head to the music in the mirror before leaning forward against the counter and inching closer and closer to his own face.Finally, he can focus in and see only one of himself looking back in the mirror.Â
All he sees is a man who has managed to bag himself the perfect woman. One willing to coddle him and take care of him like a mother would, one willing to let him float through life unemployed for the time being, one that doesnât entirely let him fuck the way he wants to solely because sheâs far too confident in herself to let him pull such a thing with her.Â
Heeseung tilts his head at himself as he examines his face in the mirror, knocking his beanie off and running his fingers through his hair. Leaning back and once again to relish in his own doubled vision.
What he really sees looking back at him in that mirror is a man who bagged himself an almost perfect woman who appears to have a truly perfect sister. Itâs the fact that suddenly, he can admit that he is bored in the bedroom, and a man who is far too eager to ignore that if he got the chance, he would be just like his friends regarding you.
He would be getting your number and asking to see what those tits look like under that skimpy shirt youâre wearing tonight. Youâd probably show them too, considering the fact that you lived your entire life up until this point barred by church sermons and non-existent doors that offer no privacy to so much as finger yourself. Youâre probably dying to experience all of the things you were already supposed to be well acquainted with at your age.Â
And as he thinks about it, head spinning in thoughts of what heâs already done just moments after you officially moved in, he slips his hand down. Groping himself through his jeans and staring down at the bulge that sits just above the counter.Â
He hangs his head, smirking and shivering at the small touch he lends to his own length. Itâs the fact that he just got hard over the confirmation of being sexually unsatisfied in his own bedroom. The shamed truth that he stood here thinking a little too hard about what kind of nudes youâd send if he ever chose to ask for them, itâs not something heâs ashamed of either.Â
In fact, the thought of sneaking out of the bed while your sister sleeps just to slip into your room and cover your pretty little mouth in his cum? Thatâs more arousing than knowing he could just leave the bathroom right now and fuck your sister.Â
And he stands there for a few minutes testing that theory, running his fingers along the swollen inseam of his pants in a careful way, like his girlfriend does. He twitches once at the feeling, glancing up at himself in the mirror again, trying hard to imagine her in this bathroom with him.Â
Another twitch, weaker this time. He laughs at himself quietly in defeat before breathing in a deep inhale through his nose, allowing the muffled music just outside of the door to fade off through his hot ears and aroused mind.Â
He closes his eyes briefly when he grabs himself now. Rougher, harsher, messier. Trying to mimic the hand of a woman who probably hasnât done this too much, trying to mimic what he thinks youâd do. His hips shift forward almost immediately and without intention, chasing the feeling of inexperience. Chasing the thought of someone that isnât his girlfriend. He chuckles more now, confirming his theory.
Chasing it with his eyes closed up until he does open his eyes and sees himself looking so out of it for you. Knowing that youâre just ten feet away if he were to walk out of this bathroom right now, so drunk and cute, you probably wouldnât think twice about giving it to him. Knowing that if he really wanted to, he could take you the way heâs always wanted your sister and you'd probably love every second of it.Â
Heâd fuck you better. Youâd be tighter, wetter, and louder for him than she ever has been.
And just as he goes to slide his hand down the front of his pants, intending to fuck his own fist to the thought of you tonight rather than turning that lock behind his own door to get between your sisterâs legs, thereâs a loud knock on the door. He jumps at the sound, adjusting his pants right back to where they belong before whipping around a bit too quickly and sending a bottle of perfume clattering to the floor in a loud POP sound.
âShit-â He groans, smelling the intense aroma of what your sister wears, forcing his mind back to the reality of not being allowed to fuck you.Â
He tiptoes around the broken glass, nostrils burning at the strong scent before swinging the door open with an annoyed roll of his eyes.Â
âHeeeeeeeeseungie!â Your sister sings, fumbling over and leaning on him instantly with her arms circling his shoulders. Sheâs so gone that she doesnât even notice the scent of her favorite perfume that just got destroyed.Â
âHey honey,â Heeseung says calmly, appearing far more sober despite being a bit buckled at the knees. âNeed help?â
She nods against his chest, unaware of his softening cock that wasnât at all raging for her just moments before.
âThereâs glass all over the floor right now, letâs go use your sisterâs bathroom.âÂ
The length in his pants shrank nearly instantly upon feeling her cling to him like this, with that cute, high pitched, voice she tends to use when sheâs needy. He tries not to think about that though. Coming to terms with the fact that what used to get him off is currently turning him off? Thatâs too much of a dangerous thought right now.Â
âMhm,â Your sister hums as he guides her to your closed bedroom door. âWait!â Your sister panics, coming to her drunk senses for just long enough to blurt âShe came in here with Sunghoon earlier, we should knock.â
Heeseung stiffens for a moment, pausing his step just outside your bedroom door. The weight of his own girlfriend against him should be something he loves right now, but he just finds himself wishing sheâd get the fuck off of him.Â
The fact heâs somehow more pissed about you behind this door, probably giving it to Sunghoon, than he is in love with his girlfriend right now? Telling. He knocks once before immediately turning your door knob. Locked.
âHey, your sister needs to use the bathroom.â Heeseung shouts right up against the crack of the door, wiggling the knob. âOpen up!â
âUse the other bathroom!â You shout back in a muffled and far away sounding voice.Â
Heeseung stands there, pretending he doesnât notice the sound of shuffling on the other side when the song booming through the speakers changes for a split second.Â
âCanât use the other bathroom! Thereâs glass on the floor!âÂ
Silence from the other side of the door for a brief moment then, click! You crack it open, cheeks flushed and eyes struggling to focus on him. Heeseung immediately pushes the door open to reveal not only Sunghoon, but Jake and Jay all three lounging around your room.
Still fully clothed, at least, but he can tell at least one of them appears to be struggling to hide his hard on. (Jake.)
Heeseung narrows his eyes at all three of the men. Jake sitting stiffly on the floor at the end of your bed, hands over his lap. Jay, lounging on your bed, as if heâs been on it a thousand times with a half-boner on full display. And then Sunghoon, clearly feeling some type of buzz as heâs the only one still drinking, leaning right up against the dresser that Heeseung built himself.
âOoh,â Your sister hums, wiggling her finger at you.âScandalous.âÂ
You lend her a shy smile as you take a step back, willing them sooner rather than later to leave solely because you were busy in here.
Not like, fucking or anything. Just having a nice, innocent, conversation with three hot guys. Thatâs all. Plus, youâd never have been able to handle sitting alone in a room with these three if it werenât for the alcohol in your system anyway. Especially with the way you initially only invited Sunghoon into your room to show him how you had the same style of socks he was wearing. Jake immediately followed both of you, followed by Jay, who was the one who closed the door and locked it.Â
And you pay no mind to Heeseung and your sister walking to your bathroom on unbalanced steps, you find yourself flopping back on the bed right beside Jay instead.
None of them have done anything at all to make you feel awkward or like this situation is dangerous either. In fact, the only thing you guys have talked about are the mutual interests that you share.Â
Poor you, so aloof when drunk. Unable to comprehend the fact that every single one of the guys in your room right now have made attempts to steer the conversation in their own way to things not so innocent.Â
You do try to ignore what happened in the kitchen with Heeseung though, avoiding eye contact with him as he makes his way back out of your room after helping with your sister. You think heâs glaring, maybe, but oh well.
âAnyway, back at home my dad would have never let me wear band shirts.â
âThatâs tough.â Jay comments, side eyeing your chest in that top and low-key wondering how nice your tits would look braless, under one of his band shirts. âBet he didnât know he raised not one, but two sneaky daughters.â
You smile triumphantly, ignoring the shadow of your sister that they force you into.Â
âThey made it really hard to break rules. Now though? I get to wear stuff like this and hang out with guys like you.âÂ
âYeah,â Jake trails off, turning his body to peek at you from the end of the bed. âProbably not the smartest move on your part.â
You bring your attention to him, seeing a blur of charming eyes and messy hair.Â
âWhat do you mean?â
âWhat he means is that, itâs probably not ideal to get shit faced then lock yourself in a room with three horny guys.â Sunghoon asserts, pushing off of the dresser and now setting himself on the foot of your bed. âYou canât tell?âÂ
You, for some reason, are astonished at his words. Sunghoon, compared to the other two, seemed more quiet and reserved if youâre being honest. Then again, youâve only known these guys for a few hours by this point. What you do know about Sunghoon, is that heâs horrifyingly attractive in the way he carries himself, which you canât really say the same for Jake or Jay.Â
With his perfected dark hair and tall stance. he looms around with each expression on his face leaving little to the imagination in the way his eyebrows accentuate whatever thought flows behind his eyes. Somehow, heâs still the hardest to read, as you watch him assert his own form of dominance on your bed.Â
Youâre blissfully unaware of how tame Sunghoon was actually being at this moment though. All three of them, theyâre competing to see who fucks you first, and whoever wins? Ah, not only do they get a paid night at the bar out of it, but both losers have to fork over another sum of money equal to that of two seasons worth of battle passes to whatever game the winner may choose to play.Â
âI think this is a good time to hand you my phone, give me your number.â Jay cuts in quite quickly, ignoring the way Sunghoon invites himself into the space he created with you.Â
Jay doesnât even let you process his words as he tosses his phone to the side and at you, watching it land on your stomach before sliding off to the other side of you.Â
âAh, youâre cute.â He chuckles upon noting your terrible coordination skills of grabbing said phone.Â
âWell, Iâm drunk, so.â You dead-pan, freezing when you feel him lean over you to grab the phone himself, staying there and hovering over you with it in his hand.
You let out a small gasp when you meet his eyes, staring straight through you.Â
Sunghoon rolls his eyes at Jayâs blatant show of interest, and Jake simply watches. Studies how you react to the forwardness.
âGo on.â Jay encourages you, holding the phone directly in front of you, where your eyes are still glued to his confident face, as if heâs not practically caging you in on your own bed like this. âType it in.â
You do. Somehow managing to type your number perfectly on the screen placed in front of you, and heâs quick to turn the phone to himself, flicking his eyes back and forth between you and the screen as he presses the call button.
Your phone vibrates from the dresser and Jay gives a victorious and somewhat dark smile.Â
âOne for me, zero for the idiots.â He laughs, lending you one more glance, a squeeze of his palm against your waist, and then heâs moving off of you and your bed as a whole. âCall me when you kick them out, Iâll sleep in here tonight.â He adds, leaving no room for argument before leaving the room entirely.
That leaves Sunghoon and Jake, sitting there trying to pretend it wasnât expected of Jay to at least get your number first. He always starts strong, then again, he also always fumbles hard when things get gritty. In game and out of game.Â
âWhat a prick.â Sunghoon sighs, flopping back on the end of your bed and forcing you to shift your legs up and press them together to make room for his broad body.
He turns his face to look at you from down here, watching you spread your legs to look back at him. The motion is innocent at best, because you seem to trust that heâs not trying to be a pervert right now. Oh, but he is.Â
He looks at you from this angle hard, realizing how easy it could be to shift just a foot in the right direction to have his face right where youâd probably like it.Â
And you note the way heâs looking at you.
âDo you guys likeâŠâ You glance away from him, over to Jake who is now making his own way onto the bed where Jay was lying before. You shift for a moment, feeling like prey. âDo you guys always share a girlfriend?â
Jake snorts.Â
âShare?!â He laughs at your question more before settling back against your pillows and landing his hand on your thigh. Easy, simple, and obvious. âWe donât share anything.â He explains now, feeling the fabric of your bottoms and pushing your legs closed so that Sunghoon canât lay down there and think up all sorts of fantasies.Â
âYouâre gonna have to pick.â Sunghoon says in an annoyed tone, glaring at Jake for closing your legs.
He lifts up on his arms now, raising a brow.Â
âIâll give you some advice though.â He says, noting how you listen to him more than you do Jake. âJay has the stamina of a dead horse.â
Snorting only for a moment, you think hard about Jay. Noting his cool and collected demeanor. Uncaring, somewhat cold, but his face seemed warm and endearing when he looked at you from time to time. You could sense the confidence in him from the moment he looked at you when he walked into this house. Instant attraction, without even knowing his name, is what you felt. With that sleek hair style and pretty hands gripping a full bottle of tequila. He probably has more stamina than Sunghoon gives him credit for.
âAnd Jake.â Sunghoon laughs this time, pointing directly at the guy lying next to you. âTwo strokes and heâs out of the game.â
You laugh again looking over to Jake, who stares at Sunghoon with a dark glare.Â
âWhat the fuck dude? That was one time!â He defends himself, babbling about how it was the first time he ever had sex, and how he can go way longer now.Â
âMe, on the other hand.â Sunghoon perks up as he runs his hands through his hair before smiling at you. âI just want to take you on a date.â
Ding ding ding! We have a winner.Â
âReally?â You ask, floored over possibly landing your first date in years that your parents wouldnât be attending.
âOf course.â He nods politely, ignoring that Jake is even in the room now. âIâm not the kind of guy who is just trying to get between your legs.â He lies easily, glaring at Jake again for closing your legs earlier.
âSo, what do you say?â Sunghoon encourages you to pick him at this moment, and the nod you give has him pulling his own phone out, asking you to tell him your number rather than forcing you to type it into his phone.Â
You smile as you give him the numbers, not at all seeing Jake try to sneakily type it into his phone as well.Â
âGood.â Sunghoon says, flopping back on your bed and now using his own hand to part your legs again. You look at him from above and feel elated by how petty and clean cut he is. âDonât call Jay when I leave, then.â
You hum a confirmation, stretching out your arms and feeling confident as all hell at the way tonight has gone. Up until, well, Sunghoon makes his way out of the room and tries to drag Jake with him. Only because he knows Jake is awful at talking to girls but man, do they swoon if theyâre into desperate guys. You seem to be into just about anyone, if Sunghoon is honest with himself.Â
âCome on, dickhead.â Sunghoon gripes at Jake, grabbing his hoodie and physically trying to drag him out of the room.Â
âIâm not going anywhere.â Jake says, pressing all of his body weight against your mattress and kicking Sunghoon away from him. âPlay fair or Iâll tell her about last weekend.â
Sunghoon instantly avoids eye contact with him, knowing that if Jake were to spill the beans on how he forgot to leave the server during his uhâŠsession, a date would be out of the question not only for now, but for good.
âYouâre the fucking worst.â He grimaces before releasing Jakeâs hoodie and stepping out of the room, only half wondering if he should truly let Jake shoot his shot as well.
Ultimately, Sunghoon finds himself stepping out of the door and directly into Jay.Â
âWell played.â Jay comments. âGuess Iâll just have to prove to her that youâre full of shit, wonât I?âÂ
Sunghoon smiles a wicked grin, eyes narrowing at Jay.Â
âYou wonât even get the chance.â He says, looking past Jay and down the hallway at Heeseung, who is shooting a death-glare at them. âOh, check it.â He changes the subject by shoving Jay in the side to look at their friend. âHeâs mad.â
Jay turns to look at whatever it is Sunghoon is talking about and simply laughs.Â
âHe can tell something is up. Maybe we should tell him?â Jay asks, crossing his arms in interest.Â
âEventually.â Sunghoon laughs as he pushes past Jay and makes his way to the kitchen for another drink.
Jake, on the other hand, is fucking vibrating as he sits alone in this room with you, dodging the questions about what Sunghoon did last weekend to cause such a reaction with an entirely made up sob story.Â
âOh my god?â You coo out, turning to face him entirely. âThatâs so sad!â
Jake mumbles, nodding his head as if he pities himself with a pout on his face.Â
âYeah, I guess thatâs just how things go for me though.â He shrugs, blinking at you with the biggest and softest eyes he can manage.Â
âI canât believe she did that!â You bellow out now, entirely invested in the backstory of the love life he lost just a few months prior. âWith her own cousin, too?!â
Jake nods again with that same pout, looking as defeated as he can, trying to be as charming as he possibly can.
You lean forward to give him a some form of hug at this moment, drunken emotion overtaking you as you sit and watch this poor guy pour his little broken heart out.Â
âIf it makes you feel any better, my last boyfriend broke up with me because my dad threatened him.â
âNo, thatâs awful.â He chuckles sadly, shaking his head at you. âWeâre both just unlucky, huh?â
He nods his head, seemingly to get you to shadow his actions, and as expected, you do. You nod to confirm his words, still invested in the fact that such a nice looking guy got fucked over like that, only to be made fun of by his friends for it.Â
So invested that you donât note the way he keeps his hand on your leg or moves it upwards inch by inch.Â
âCan we change the subject?â Jake pouts harder, looking at you with sparkling eyes..Â
âYeah, of courseââÂ
âYouâre really, really, pretty.â He suddenly blurts, looking you in the eye and using his other hand to brush a strand of hair out of your face. You totally believed his entire story, if the saddened look in your eye is anything to go by. âI think you should go on a date with me instead.â
You break eye contact, looking down again and only just now noticing his hand on your leg. Only just now noticing that hard-on heâs sporting in his pants.Â
âJake.â You say, lifting your eyes back to him. âAre youâhard?â You lift your brows in pity again with the subject change, drunken brain telling you that heâs probably crawling in his skin over how hard he is, and how sad everything is for him.Â
âOh, over this?â He asks, dropping his hand and blatantly groping himself. âA little. It always happens when someone as good looking as you gives me the time of day.â
Oh, how sweet. How cute. The fact that Jake gets hard simply over someone being nice to him?Â
âWell, donât worry!â You try to perk him up, not at all realizing that heâs full of shit. âI know itâs not because youâre trying to get into my pants or anything. I wonât tell anyone.â You nod to him with a smile beforeâ Uh oh.
âWell, actuallyââ Jake tries to start, already about to make his move when he notices the color on your face change and youâre fumbling to the bathroom.Â
And just like that, Jake has failed, as he stumbles out of your bed and to your locked bathroom door.Â
âAre you okay?â He asks with a sweet and caring voice.
Silence from the other end save for the sound of your sink running full blast probably to mask the sounds of your stomach trying to evacuate the copious amounts of alcohol thatâs been fed to you.Â
So much for the pancakes being a fix-all solution. And with that, Jake leaves the room while pulling out his phone, texting the number he stole when you gave it to Sunghoon.Â
Jake: hey, donât be embarrassed about getting sick. Iâm gonna crash on the couch so if you need me iâll be there.
After that, the party is pretty much over. Everyone save for the three perverts, Heeseung, and your sister remain.
This leaves your sister already passed out and tucked into her bed by none other than Heeseung himself, Jay already asleep on the couch, Sunghoon piled up on the floor between the dining room and the living room. Probably to create a barrier that would wake him if Jay really tried to get into your room.
And poor fucking Jake, forced to actually pity himself as he curls his body up on the love seat in the living room, pretending that itâs totally big enough for him to be comfortable here.
Heeseung looms around the house once everything goes silent, checking to be sure no one has passed out or died in a corner before coming back to the living room and staring at all three of his bitch-ass friends.Â
On one hand, heâs glad theyâre in the living room and not in your room. On the other hand, he wants to smother all three of them. One by one.
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Heeseung is in his head for a solid three days after the party. So much that his focus is more on you than his games. Which is super fucked up when he thinks about it. Thatâs why, when your sister heads off to work, heâs plotting in his head every time. He needs you to like him somehow.Â
The thoughts loop in his mind. From images of him pinning you up and against that kitchen counter again, to the fantasy image of you dropping to your knees in front of him. If anything, itâs not that he needs to fuck you, he just needs you to want him to.
And this is why he finds himself orbiting you. Finding reasons to come into your room, or reasons to get you out of it.Â
âIâm gonna do some laundry, do you have anything I need to wash?â When you didnât have anything more than what was already in your basket, he still washed your clothes. He also folded one of his own shirts into your pile just to see if youâd wear it.Â
âI made some lunch, come eat with me.â You already ate while he was in the office playing his games, which he should have guessed.Â
âHey, can you help me wash the dishes?â You had nodded, but never left your room and he ultimately ended up washing and drying them all himself. Waiting, waiting, and fucking waiting.
All three times he tried today, you brushed him off with your eyes glued to your phone.Â
Something has got to give because itâs starting to get embarrassing how much he thinks about you. With the way he avoided sex last night with his own, very beautiful girlfriend, just to hide in the bathroom at four in the morning getting off with something he absolutely should not have in his possession.Â
He doesnât know how fucking long itâs gonna take to get you to break for him but itâs going to happen one way or the other. You donât have a choice in the matter at this point .
It looks like you wonât even consider him in that pretty little head of yours simply because heâs considered off limits. Heâs gonna have to prove you wrong.
Still, he remembers the way you looked at him during your welcome party. So cute and sweet when youâre drunk, so willing to hang out with him. The interest was there. He knows it was.
And now, as he ticks away at the WASD keys on his keyboard, running his little pixel version of himself back and forth between headshots that he misses every time, he wants to rip his fucking hair out.Â
âWhat the fuck is wrong with you?!â Jay shouts through the headset. âHe was right there!â
Heeseung knows his friends have every reason to rag on him right now. Itâs the fifth lost ranked game of the day and heâs rotting inside at the thought of dropping back down to gold.Â
âPlatinum my ass.â Sunghoon pipes in, slamming his mouse on his desk out of sheer annoyance at what happened during the last game. âYou didnât down a single person in the past three games.â
Heeseung sighs, ripping his headset off and closing out the game. He can feel it in his body. The frustration bubbling up to the point that he really only thinks about you and this shit needs to stop now before his precious rank drops so far down that even their bronze boy Jake could boast above him.Â
He ignores the annoyed shouts from his friends as he disconnects from discord, stands up, and practically storms out of the room and up to your door.Â
âIâm coming in!â Heeseung gripes.
This is your first time witnessing him in a bad mood, as he does exactly as he says and swings your door open for the fourth time today.Â
âYou and me.â He says, pointing a finger at you âRight now.â
âRight now, what?â You ask in a nonchalant tone.
Which only pisses him off more because, fuck if he knows.Â
âGet off your phone. Weâre hanging out.â
You furrow your brow at him, pointer finger locking the screen of your phone and hiding the string of texts youâd been sharing with one of his very own best friends. Your eyes scan him only for a moment, noting how rushed he appears to be while barging into your room like this.
Large hoodie covering the majority of his body, sweat on his brow probably from all of that screaming you heard in the office earlier, and that same very embarrassing dent on the top of his head from his headset.Â
As you look at him in all of his gamer boy glory you nod, only because out of all of his friends, you think youâd rather hang out with him because at least heâs not in your texts trying to land a date, or a hookup, or dropping dick pics by âaccidentâ.Â
Heâs just Heeseung, your sisterâs loving and very hard to read boyfriend. Who you donât happen to fully remember is capable of pinning you against the kitchen counter while trying to show you how much worse he is compared to his friends.Â
âOkay, what do you wanna do?â
He pauses, standing in your room and looking at you lounging on your bed. If he really told you what heâd like to do, it would probably scare you. He needs to think fast, not desperate.Â
âUh,â He hums, glancing away from you and lifting his hand up to finally ruffle that embarrassing dent in his hair away. âHave you ever played video games?â
âYeah. Not the ones you play though.â You roll your eyes at his attempt at sudden small talk.
God, he shouldnât have asked. He doesnât think you could make yourself any more alluring to him after saying that. While his girlfriend has never once even considered picking up a controller, you have? Oh, shit. Man, thatâs so hot.Â
âOh yeah?â He perks up in genuine interest, taking a step forward and landing himself on your bed without invitation. âLike what?â
âParty games mostly, I guess. Mario Party, Super Smash Bros, Wii sports, Among us.âÂ
He nods as you list the most mundane games in the industry.Â
âDid you pick up pretty quickly? Like, did you ever win?â He asks, unaware that this conversation feels like literal foreplay to him, pleased by the fact that thereâs suddenly more to like about you than just those tits and faceâŠ.and personalityâŠ.and intense need to break rulesâŠandâ
âYeah, I can be kind of competitive.â
âMm.â Heeseung nods in approval, turned on by the very image of you staring into a screen with dead eyes, fingers smashing on buttons and intensely focused.Â
âDo you wanna watch me play something?â
âHow is that hanging out?â You ask, scoffing at the idea. âWhy would I want to watch you have fun?â
Heeseung looks at you. Yeah, thatâs fair. He would probably end up ignoring you the whole time anyway, but still. Is it so bad that he asked simply to fulfill the fantasy of having a girl fawn over him and his successes?Â
âOkay, then what would you want to do?â He shoots back, knowing itâs fair but hating it nonetheless. Wondering if thereâs a chance that someday youâll pile up on his lap and watch him carry the whole team to victory. Boasting for him more than he does for himself.Â
âHorror movie. Iâm sure sheâs told you but our parents were very strict about what media we consumed. I have a whole list of horror movies Iâm trying to work through, but sometimes itâs kind of difficult to watch by myself.â
Fuck yeah. Maybe itâll end in that cringe and cliche scenario heâs used time and time again when flirting with girls. Images of you jumping from a jumpscare and grabbing him on instinct. Fantasies of you cuddling up real close. So close that he can smell how much you want him. He could get hard right now just thinking of doing this very thing with you. Plus, he fucking loves horror movies.
âGet your pretty ass in the living room then. â He nods, smiling at you in a way that hides every thought behind his empty, horny eyes.Â
And he just gets up and walks out like calling you pretty just now wasnât at all out of place, he fucking winks at you. It really does throw you off that he just did that so nonchalantly, like he talks to everyone that way when you know for a fact that outside of this house, your sister has to fight him just to get him to wave hello to someone.Â
You wonder why it feels like maybe you shouldnât be spending time alone with him. Arguably, you donât want to admit that it makes you feel good either. Already with three separate, very attractive people, in your texts insisting that you pick them, that you choose them.Â
All of it is very desperate. Almost as desperate as you are to give in to every single one of them, but you canât just let them know how sheltered you were and how free you feel the need to be now.Â
Of course Heeseung, your sisterâs boyfriend, calling you pretty would make you feel confident. Like maybe you could be with someone just as attractive as him, or perhaps no longer live in the shadow of everything you wish you could be.Â
Her. Everything was always about her.Â
âOh, your sister got top of her class! Sheâs gonna be moving out soon!â She really just left you there to suffer alone.Â
âAh! Your sister just bought a house! I heard she and her boyfriend might marry soon!âÂ
You scoffed that day when you entered college, no one congratulated you for the countless free rides or multiple acceptance letters. No, it was all about her despite the fact that she lived an hour and a half away and you were right there.
She was only better than and outshined you because she was older and got there first. It was never competitive with you until everyone in your life expected you to outshine, outdo, and outwit her.Â
Still, you jumped at the opportunity to live here solely to get away from your parents. Solely to try and live outside of everything you could be, only to become whatever the fuck you want to be. And yeah, you love her immensely because she truly is the only person who never expected you to be her. Thereâs so much resentment but an equal amount of love within you for your sister.Â
And while Heeseung has no idea of this resentment you have rotting in your chest, you also have no idea that Heeseung believes the one thing you hold over your sister is the fact that youâre just her, except, wellâŠyounger, hotter, wilder, prettier, more inexperienced. Cuter voice. Snarkier attitude. Open, and perhaps, willing.Â
If you knew that, perhaps Heeseung calling you pretty as if itâs his natural born right would become something different in your head. Perhaps youâd want to live in your sisterâs shadow just once more. Why not try and take what your sister has? Wouldnât that be fun?
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What a fucking bummer, Heeseung thinks, as he sits on one end of the couch with you on the other. Heâs watched you more than the movie at this point, but the clock is tick-tick-ticking, and youâre just sitting there pushing through the horrors with a smile. Something's got to give.Â
Your sister comes home in three hours, leaving space for just one more movie and he is truly determined to score this win if itâs the last thing he does. The worst part? Morals donât mean shit if you want him to fuck you.
If thereâs one thing Heeseung hates more than losing, itâs one-sided attraction. He knows heâs not the problem, you are for not looking at him long enough. You are for not even considering that he could fuck you better than anyone in all of those porn accounts you follow on twitter. Not that he stalked it or anything (he did.)
And thatâs why, as his stare becomes darker, he stands up and scratches the back of his head with a sigh.Â
âIâll be right back.â He says, watching you wave him off as if you were totally paying attention to him.
Thatâs going to change right the fuck now.Â
He heads to his shared room with your sister, stepping into the walk in closet and examining himself in the wall length mirror before sighing.Â
Goddamn, he really stopped caring about how he looked once he finally got between your sisterâs legs and locked her down. Itâs no wonder you gave his friends more attention that night than youâve ever given to him. He inspects his hair, messy and frizzy from his hoodie being pulled over and off of his head throughout the day. The cowlicks in the back leaving nothing to your imagination in regards to when the last time he washed the fucked-up locks was.Â
He sighs at himself, licking his palm and trying to tame the cowlick. God, a shower right now would seem ridiculous because heâs supposed to be on the couch with you, standing up the gore and death on screen so your hand will accidentally touch his dick or something.Â
No good. He needs to backpedal a little bit with his confidence, probably. He steps out of his room, taking his hoodie off at the same time. He rolls the sleeves of his t-shirt now, wanting to at least reveal his shoulders and arms to you. Wanting to parade himself around the house until you drip for him.Â
âHey.â He walks back into the living room, still rolling the last bit of his left sleeve up and over his shoulder. âCan you pause the movie for like ten minutes and throw a pizza in the oven or something?â
You look up at him and the way he seems like heâs thinking about something far off from any situation thatâs currently happening.Â
âYeah, sure.â You nod, reaching for the remote and pausing the movie. âWe could just keep watching while the pizza cooks though.â
He chuckles, knowing youâd say that and not at all having an excuse.Â
âI need to take a shower.â He dead-pans, as if itâs not sudden or weird that heâs decided to rudely interrupt the last movie of the night with a shower that could definitely wait.Â
âJust shower after we finish the movie.â You roll your eyes, still standing to your feet and heading towards the kitchen. âItâs not like your stink will get any worse in the matter of a few hours.â
Oh, so now he smells bad?! Is that why you arenât into him?
âOr you could stop complaining and make the fucking pizza.â He snaps for the first time with a tone that indicates you should probably listen and do as he says.Â
âGod, whatâs your problem?âÂ
âMy problem? Whatâs yours?â He shoots back, far too annoyed that you play hard to get like this. Thereâs no way you seriously arenât getting it. âYouâre the one sitting around like youâd rather be doing anything else.â
You press the preheat button on the oven, and look at him shocked. Are hisâfeelings hurt? Are you really acting like a bitch, or uninterested in getting to know the man your sister will probably spend her life with?Â
Were you really acting like you werenât having a good time? God, you must be such a drag.Â
âWhat? I was having fun, Heeseung, I like watching movies with you.â You try to explain, but he cuts you off.
âFucking act like it then.â He gripes before turning on his heel and leaving you alone in the kitchen.Â
Itâs not like you knew he expected you to be interested in friendship with him or anything. You were justâŠhanging out. You really didnât know it was supposed to go differently in his head, and the fact that it appears that he does have a specific expectation? You wonder how to fulfill it.Â
After all, youâre trying to avoid showing all the interest you actually have for him when youâre hanging out. Itâs what youâre supposed to do, right? And well, by the time heâs out of the shower and presenting himself to you, you think you might have a better idea as to what heâs thinking. Is he trying to impress you right now?Â
You can smell his cologne mixed with a minty scented shampoo. His hair looks blow dried. His skin is glistening, and heâs fucking shirtless.Â
He watches when he sits down, this time closer to you on the couch presumably so you could share the pizza sitting on the coffee table just in front of you then he checks the clock. Only about thirty minutes wasted out of the remaining time he has with you alone, and then he checks you. Staring. Damn right.Â
To you, he looks different.
Not just handsome, or kind of endearing in a loser way. But he actually looks sexy sitting there, with those loose gray sweatpants leaving nothing to the imagination in terms of size, and his exposed torso makes it harder to keep your eyes to yourself.
 His broad shoulders seem to accentuate his neck much more than you imagined considering you never have seen him lounge around like this, and his hair is no longer dented. Itâs washed, fresh, and looks fucking good on him.Â
Then, his smirk. Itâs permanent on that knowing face of his. Â
âWhat are you looking at?â He side eyes you, totally ignoring the pizza because he wasnât actually hungry.Â
He feels a victory welling up in his chest at the way you look at him though, seeing you already get so flustered? So easy.Â
âUm,â You pause, tearing your eyes away in embarrassment. âNothing.âÂ
He chuckles once in a short breath before stretching himself back against the couch cushions, spreading his legs wide and taking dominance over the space in the room.Â
âDidnât seem like nothing.â He flirts easily, testing the waters of how willing you are to admit that heâs getting his way. âYou were checking me out.âÂ
You face forward now, shifting closer to the arm of the couch and pretending like you can't feel the warmth of the hot water he must have used radiating off of him.Â
âOf course not!â You laugh nervously, lunging forward for the remote again. âWhy would I check you out?â
Heeseung rolls his eyes at your shitty attempt to lie.Â
âBecause I took my shirt off for you.â He says, turning his head to look at you with a malicious smirk. âWas that not obvious?âÂ
You turn to look at him in surprise. Why the fuck would he even say that to you?!
âDo you like me better this way? Half naked?â
âWhat are you talking about?â You avoid him like your life depends on it, not wanting to admit that you definitely find him more attractive right now than you ever have, and the fact that heâs talking to you like this only further pushes you to want what you canât have.
âYou think Iâm hot, donât you?â He presses, bouncing his leg and keeping his eyes on the way your chest heaves at his words.Â
âYou want me, donât you?â He continues pressing, repeating the question in a way that makes you feel forced to agree with him.Â
âYouâre gonna think about me the next time youââ
âHeeseung!â You shout, turning your entire body towards him with heat searing on your cheekbones. âWhat the fuck are you talking about? Youâre dating my sister.â You try to bring both him and yourself back to reality with that statement, more upset internally at the fact that youâre right about it.Â
Heâs dating your sister and yet, heâsâŠdoing this. To you. And you fucking like it?
âYeah, no shit.â He laughs you off, looking down at his lap and feeling a twitch at the way you donât leave the room. Proving in some way that you definitely like it. âAnd Iâm still right, arenât I? Youâre just playing hard to get.â
You stare at him, dumbfounded and utterly shocked by his blatant attempts to come onto you. Unfortunately, youâve never been in this situation before and your eyes tell on you the same way your body language does. Of course heâs right, and you know youâre doing a terrible job of hiding it.
âAh, Yeah.â He smiles, watching how you try to keep your eyes on his face but failing. âIâm right.â He continues, lifting his ass just slightly to accentuate the shape of his cock under these sweats for you to get a good eye full.Â
You swallow, looking away from him and squeezing your legs together. It feels like such a sudden change of atmosphere. What was once a deniable crush on him becomes a confusing whirlwind wet panties and zero morality.
Does he get off on trying to rile you up? Thereâs no fucking way heâd actually go through with any of this. Heâs just doing it because he thinks itâs cute that you want him. Right?Â
You know for a fact that if Jay talked to you this way, you would have let him do whatever he wanted to you. But this is Heeseung. Not Jay, not Jake, not Sunghoon, with their shitty attempts at trying to pull off the exact thing. Oh god, this is bad. This is so bad.Â
âIâm going to my room.â You swallow around the thick words, not at all wanting to leave the room solely because your body is giving in instantly to the fact that Heeseung is dirty talking to you for no goddamn reason.Â
Perhaps itâs the fact that the one thing your sister has that you shouldnât ever be able to obtain is doing this. Never did you think a mere idea that heâs attractive would turn into a split second decision of wanting him to fuck you.Â
âNo, youâre not.â He chuckles, spreading his legs a bit wider now and looking down at his lap, the same exact spot your eyes are looking at. âYouâre going to try and keep your eyes on the screen, and weâre going to finish this movie.âÂ
Safe to say, that was a harder demand to follow than you anticipated and he seemed to fucking love raising his brow at you each time he caught your eye on him.Â
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By the time your sister returned home and essentially tamed her boyfriend from acting out any longer, you feltâŠinsane. She tamed him without even knowing that he was acting out, not double-taking at all when she walked in to him spread out and shirtless on the couch with you struggling to watch the movie. You felt his confidence radiating, making the living room feel suffocating and unstable in terms of if you belong there or not.Â
You find yourself in your room now, cuddling up in your bed with thoughts ruminating on how you have not one, not two, not three, but four men throwing themselves at you. You donât recall ever actually giving them the idea that this is okay. Or maybe you did? Youâre not sure.
You scroll through your text messages, old friends from back home falling into the background each time you open a message from Jake, or the other two that consistently check in with you like youâre some sort of prize to be won.Â
Maybe you want to be a prize for some handsome guy to flaunt though, and you embody all of that confidence you got from, somehow, having the one man youâre not supposed to ever obtain parading around for you.
You embody it to text back. To be bold. To give in to the arousal that just slammed you in the gut, reeling from the very idea that there are men in this world who want to fuck you and youâre about fed up with pretending itâs a lie.
You: are you done with your game?Â
You send the same message separately to all three of Heeseungâs friends, and somehow youâre still unaware that they all three share the information with each other in discord.Â
âAre you done with your game?â Jake mimics in a feminine tone. âSheâs playing with all of us.âÂ
Jay chuckles through the mic, damning them to be second and third place as he quickly texts back.
Jay: no, but I can be. Why?Â
âTo be fair, weâre kind of playing with her too.â Sunghoon cuts in, responding in his own way to your text and telling you that heâs bored, that heâs waiting on you to give him a date and time to pick you up, that heâs annoyed with his friends.Â
âWell, yeah!â Jake bellows through the muffled mic. âI mean, look at her.â
âOh, Iâve looked.â Sunghoon smiles at himself before snapping his eyes to the discord and noting how Jay has muted himself.Â
âThat mother fucker.â
Jake follows suit, noting exactly what Sunghoon is calling out before lending a groan of his own.Â
âHeâs trying so hard.â He rolls his eyes, knowing for a fact that Jay is probably already mid text-conversation with you.
And he would be right, as you lay against your pillows and let Jayâs conversation overpower the two other unopened texts from his friends.Â
You: im a little overwhelmed right now, not sure how to explain it.
Jay: overwhelmed how?
You: wellâŠ
You take a second to yourself to breathe, feeling your entire body radiate with a feeling that can only resemble that of want, or perhaps need. Youâve sexted multiple times in your life, but never in a situation where youâre sexting because youâre overwhelmed more than just aroused.Â
Itâs the fact that youâre bringing it up this time after playing uninterested since any of them started texting you. Youâve dodged Jakeâs dick pics, youâve pushed off the date you agreed to go on with Sunghoon, and youâve even gone as far as telling Jay youâre not interested at all.
Now though? You can imagine what heâd think of you to see you bring it up. Do you care though? Not that much. After all, youâre single, youâre consumed by the ability to do whatever you want, and Jayâs hot.Â
You: im frustrated.
You: REALLY frustrated.âŠsexually
Jay: oh yeah? for me?
You stare at the screen, sending him an emoji that confirms your words for a third time before swiping away and looking at your inbox of available men. You know who else is hot? Sunghoon.Â
You: hey if we went on a date, where would you take me?
Sunghoon: probably a movie or something idk, why? what would you wanna do?
You: id wanna go to your house
Sunghoon: and why is that, cutie?
And as you pick up conversations with both men, reeling from the attention, you thinkâŠhmm, you wanna know who else is hot? Jake.Â
You: Jakeeeee
Jake: whaaaat :)Â
You: remember that dick pic you sent to me then begged me to delete because it was an accident?
Jake: âŠ
You: i didnât delete it.Â
Jake: you like it?
You: maybe.Â
And you guess this is who you are now, plotting and setting up some form of sexting situation with three different men, who are all very close friends, who all very much seem to reciprocate your advances.
Itâs actually pretty cool, as you lay here reading words from a different man every two minutes. Jay telling you exactly how he could help you with that frustration, Sunghoon asking you to explain what youâd wanna do in his house with him, and then Jake blatantly sending his cock to you again like he has nothing better to do.Â
Itâs all fun and games until things start to get real heated and you get kind of into it. Focusing on Jayâs little message of, âim helping you out here, you should help me too. send pics.âÂ
You ask yourself why you consider doing it before swiping away and landing on a video of Jake, face bright and smiling before lowering the camera. Blatantly fucking himself just because you said he had a nice dick.Â
Your body is feeling permanent goosebumps because of those two, overwhelming you more than you could have imagined to see just how far theyâd be willing to go to try and convince you to do the same for them.
Sunghoon brings a different form of arousal in his inbox though. Far more tame than the others, asking you to push, telling you to say all of the dirty things rather than him. Pushing for a date.Â
Sunghoon: keep talking to me like this, ill come get you right now.Â
You: not yet, just this for now.
Sunghoon: no pressure, are you touching yourself at least?
You: I amÂ
Sunghoon: yeah? thinking about me too right?Â
You: yea
Youâre lying. Kind of. Half-lying, at least, because you are thinking about him but youâre also thinking about Jake, and Jay, and sending nudes, andâ Heeseung.
Youâre thinking about Heeseung, and only because you can hear the shuffling in the room a wall over. Then? Thumping, right behind you as you lay in your bed. At this moment, you should be able to focus on the men blatantly trying to fuck you, but instead youâre reminding yourself of how Heeseung looked earlier.
And youâre listening. Thumping, thumping, thumping, until you hearâ
âDonât cover your mouth, sheâs probably asleep anyway.â You hear Heeseung bellow out in a far-away voice.Â
Great. Theyâre fucking. Just fucking great. Well, now what? You think, as you thumb back and forth between messages with frustration.
Your mind reels as you listen though. Imagining Heeseung more than anything being the force behind those thumps on your wall. His voice almost croaked when he regarded you directly to your sister while fucking her. Why canât you stop thinking about him? All it took was a single day of marathoning movies?! A single shower?!Â
God, youâve got to seem desperate to be reacting this way. He probably thinks that shit is funny. And as you now shove your headphones in your ears so as to not hear anymore of it, you stand on your feet and walk to your bathroom. Youâre too interested in being fucked now, might as well give the boys something to look at, right?
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âShe really is trying to get away with it.â Sunghoon says, dumbfounded by the receipts provided by all three boys in their own private group chat.
Without Heeseung.Â
âYeah, but she sent me an ass pic.â Jay boasts, smiling to himself and silently saving the other provided images that you sent to his friends.Â
âWhatever, Iâm picking her up today for what she wants to call a âdateâ. She literally said she wanted me to pull her hair.âÂ
Jake gasps, offended.
âWhat the fuck? She said she wanted to pull my hair!â He groans. âWhy am I the one she thinks would like that?! I have a big dick! I couldââ
âAnyway,â Jay cuts him off. âShe really is just like her sister. Heeseung doesnât even know how Iâve seen his precious girlfriendâs pussy, only a matter of time before Iâm seeing her little sisterâs too.âÂ
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, ignoring Jakeâs huffing and puffing as he does his best not to laugh at Jayâs almost victory over your sister.Â
âWell, Iâm getting the girl this time.â He says, opening his texts and reading through the presumed masturbation session he shared with you last night. âSaid she couldnât wait to see me.âÂ
âIâm sure she could though.â Jay says, competitive, wanting to win. âYouâll see.â
Sunghoon can sense the competition in the air, knowing that Jay is probably coming up with some lame ass plan to get in your pants before he can even get the chance to pick you up tonight.Â
And then thereâs Jake.
âYou know, maybe sheâs right.â He rambles on, thinking hard about how your dynamic with the other two seems to differ greatly from the way you speak to him. âI do have better hair than both of you combined.â
And they stay like that, roasting each other while simultaneously lusting over the same girl until Heeseung gets online and pings them in the regular group chat for a round of gameplay.Â
âWhatâs up, virgins?â Heeseung greets, booting up his game and noting the silence in the voice chat.Â
âI said, whatâs uââÂ
âWe heard you.â Sunghoon chimes in, preparing himself for a direct mission of humbling the fuck out of him. âCall me a virgin all you want, doesnât change the fact that Iâm getting my dick wet tonight.âÂ
âPlease.â Heeseung laughs, rolling his eyes as he waits for them to get into the game lobby. âWho would stick your dick in them anyway?âÂ
âYour girlfriendâs little sister.â Sunghoon announces.Â
Excuse me?
âIn your dreams.â Heeseung tries to laugh, but is interrupted yet again by his two other friends laughing first. âWait, youâre serious?âÂ
Sunghoon hums a confirmation, which leads Heeseung to wonder what the fuck happened in the span of one single night. He could have sworn he had you in the palm of his hand on that couch. He knew you heard how good he fucks your sister.Â
Thereâs no way.Â
âNah, sheâs already got a crush on someone else.â He continues to brush Sunghoon off. âAnd itâs not you.â
âYeah, because itâs me.â Jay laughs, bombarding Heeseung with another low blow. âWhy else would she take her shorts off for me?â
Anger? Yes. Jealousy? Also yes.
âBullshit.â Heeseung calls out, staring at his discord and the way his friendâs names light up every time they laugh.
 âWhat are they trying to do, Jake? Spill.â
Jake silences his laughing.Â
âOh, you think he didnât get nudes too?â Jay laughs harder. âShe sent them to all three of us last night. Different pictures too, she wasnât skimping on the goods, I can tell you that much.â
Heeseung takes a moment to breathe through his nose. âAnd just why did she send you nudes?â
âI didnât even ask for them, Hee, honest!â Jake tries to get on his good side. âI guess showing her my dick did something for her though.â That did not get him on Heeseungâs good side.Â
âWhy the fuck  is she sending you guys nudes?â He asks again, this time slightly raising his voice.Â
You should have been sending him nudes to prove your insatiable lust that you must have. Right? Like, why not him? If anyone?Â
âOh, right.â Sunghoon finally reveals the truth. âFirst person to fuck her wins.âÂ
âIs that so?â Heeseung leans back in his chair, crossing his arms with narrowed eyes at their stupid usernames.Â
Competition is what heâs best at.Â
âYeah.â Sunghoon confirms. âAnd by the end of the night, Iâll be the winner.âÂ
âThatâs what he thinks, anyway.â Jay snickers. âSheâs already texted me a cute little good morning like she didnât sext three guys last night.âÂ
âMhm.â Jake hums into the mic. âMe too.â
Sunghoon tilts his head in confusion at that, now checking his phone and noting that he hasnât received his own good morning from you yet. Weird.Â
âYou guys are aware that you canât do that, right?â Heeseung chimes in, knowing that heâs playing their game now. And heâs good at playing games. âYou seriously canât be trying to rail my girlfriendâs sister.â
âYeah. We are, actually.â Jay overtakes the conversation. âBesides, she wants it.â
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You wake up feeling insanely embarrassed by how you acted like night.Â
Tonightâs date with Sunghoon probably wonât happen. Thereâs no way you can live up to the confidence you showed him.Â
You: hey can we raincheck?
Sunghoon: no wtf?Â
He reacts negatively, because his victory is now being ripped from his hands by the prize herself. Itâs not even just like, the fact that he wants to fuck you just to say he did it before anyone else could. Itâs the fact that youâre kind of cool. Incredibly hot, and super willing to slut yourself out.Â
Just his type. He loves being able to tame girls and keep them locked between his legs, with his cock in their throat.Â
You: sorry i just donât feel good today, can try this weekend?Â
Sunghoon sighs, sending you a short approval before focusing back on the intense game playing out on his screen.Â
âShe canceled on me.â Sunghoon complains, shooting a player dead between the eyes before crouching and running off to find his next kill of frustration. âJay, what did you fucking do?â
Jay snorts, smirking on his end of the screen, camping like an asshole in a bathroom and waiting for some unsuspecting dad of six to run by and get his cheeks clapped by some idiot with the username of DADDYJAY02.Â
âTold her Iâd fuck her real good if she cancels.â He jokes, mostly focused on the current game at hand.
Heeseung is pleased to learn that youâre skipping the date though, leading him to believe that maybe he was right in thinking heâs got you in the palm of his hand.Â
Still doesnât change the fact that youâve got nudes in your phone. Nudes that you sent to three fucking losers that couldnât even come close to doing what he could do for you.Â
âHeâs talking shit. She hasnât left her room all morning.â Heeseung says. âI already told you guys that she has a crush on someone, and itâs not any of you. So, you can go ahead and kiss your bullshit sex-game goodbye.â
Jake pipes in now, listening to the sheer amount of confidence coming from Heeseung and Jay.
âI dunno.â He breathes, picking people off one by one in his own, less-than-great playstyle. âSheâs still texting me and being all cute. Maybe she just thinks you guys are weird.âÂ
âWhat did she say?â Heeseung asks, now more focused on what Jake might say rather than the fact that Jay just got downed and needs help.Â
âSomething about how she feels embarrassed about everything but likes talking to me, heart emoji and all.â He says in a nonchalant tone, now being downed himself in game. âMe and Jay are down.â
âStay down then.â Heeseung scoffs, ignoring both dying friends as he focuses on the win.Â
âDude, fucking pick me up.â Jay now argues, throwing his hands up at the gameplay, watching Heeseung blatantly run straight past him. âHeeseung! Pick me the fuck up!âÂ
He snickers in response.Â
âStop trying to fuck her and Iâll pick you up.âÂ
âIâd rather die.â Jay argues back, accepting his in-game death and instead pulling his phone out to text you. âIn fact, Iâll text her right now.â
Sunghoon, listening to the chaos and still neck-to-neck in terms of kills with Heeseung, tries to ignore the fact that heâs losing the only game he cares about winning right now.Â
âAll three of you are starting to get annoying.â Sunghoon mumbles into the microphone, killing the last remaining player and stretching his arms out in a sigh.
âYouâre just mad because sheâs ghosting you for me.â Jake sings out happily.
Heeseung listens, seething in his head about how theyâre really just gonna keep doing this shit and decides, fine.Â
Heâs already playing the game theyâre playing. Heâs been playing it for much longer, actually, with those panties he took from your dresser when he built it. With the way he placed your bed against the same wall his bed is against, just so you could listen and suffer for his cock to stuff you full instead.Â
If itâs a fucking competition they want, theyâre gonna get it.Â
And with that? He logs off without so much as a goodbye before heading to his bathroom. For the first time in years caring more and more about how he dresses and carries himself just to see you want him.Â
He styles his hair, brushes his teeth, perfects his hair with the hood up on his hoodie, and then heads straight to your room.Â
âHey, Sunghoon said heâs supposed to be going on a date with you tonight.â He says as soon as he gets to your door.
You look panicked.
âOh, he told you?â You say, avoiding eye contact with him because goddamn does he look good today but also, what the fuck Sunghoon?!Â
âYeah.â He answers in a less than entertained tone.Â
âDid heââ You pause, now looking at him and his stupid attractive stance against your door. ââsay anything else?âÂ
âOh, he told me all about it.â He admits to you now, loving the way you curl into your own embarrassment. âI did warn you, you know.â
You blink at him, wanting to hide from the entire situation. Especially because the only reason you went for his friends was because he got you all choked up.Â
âStill, I thought youâd tame yourself a little bit. I meanâ Jay too? Really?â Heeseung starts to pick you apart with the information heâs learned today. âAnd Jake?â
You groan out, covering your face with both hands.Â
âGod, I donât know what I was thinking.â You try to explain. âI justââ
âYou were wet.â He answers for you, smiling at the way you try to run from the truth. âSo wet for me that you ran to my friends?âÂ
Only now do you move your hands from your face and look at him. Shocked that he got straight to the point, and is entirely correct.
âYou got their hopes up, you know.â He continues, taking control of the situation as he crosses his arms and leans his head back and against your doorframe. âRight after getting my hopes up.âÂ
âWhat are youââÂ
âYou know what Iâm talking about, and you know exactly what Iâm doing.â He cuts you off, speaking for you, thinking for you, not letting you get a word in to doubt a single thing heâs saying. âYou know what youâre doing too. So, look at me next time I come in here and call you out on your bullshit.â
Your eyes stay on him, full of embarrassment and a sense of guilt. You feel scolded, which is so fucking wrong and weird for it to come from him of all people.Â
âTime to stop pretending now, babe. If you want thisââ He says, looking down between his legs and grabbing his bulge. âYouâll stay away from my friends.âÂ
And then he justâŠleaves with a smile? Doesnât even let you respond?Â
âIâm going to the store, we donât have shit to eat in this house.â You hear him complain as he walks down the hallway, acting as if he didnât just word-fuck you with the truth that you werenât quite ready to accept.Â
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Youâre losing it. Truly, youâre losing every ability in your body to ignore the fact that you not only think about Heeseung in ways you shouldnât, you want him in ways that should be a fucking crime.
Seeing him grab himself like that in your doorway? Fuck, if he hadnât of walked away right after, you very well may have found yourself with your ankles up by your ears, begging him to use it on you.Â
No self restraint at this point, and you donât even care.Â
Your phone is long forgotten as you pace your room, wondering if you should leave the house too, just to find a sex shop that has a Heeseung sized and shaped cock for you to fuck yourself on in order to get this intense feeling of need out of you.Â
Thatâs really all it took for him to make you go fucking feral for it? A little bit of flirting? A little bit threatening? A grab of his cock, practically dangling it in front of you like the two of you are allowed to be having those kinds of moments together?Â
Fuck him for knowing how to get you horny more than you know how to do it yourself. Since when did you like men to act that way towards you? Since fucking when did you get off on a boyfriend that your sister intends to fucking marry?!
Itâs so fucked up, and itâs equally fucking hot to you because itâs fucked up.Â
Out of everything your sister has that you donât, Heeseung is the one you want most. And heâs just fuckingâŠheâs justâ
God damn it. You sigh, pacing back and forth, checking the time on your phone and ignoring all of your unread texts. Heeseung has only been gone for a total of ten minutes and it feels like youâve been pacing for hours.
Throbbing between your legs at the small glimpses of his size under whatever pants he wears. With his hair, and his skin, and his stupid, shit-eating smirk that he throws at you. Telling you he knows. Showing you that he likes it.Â
You stop your pacing for a moment, squeezing your eyes shut tight to try and flutter the images of him out of your head. Trying to get the reality to come back to you.Â
Whatâs fucked up is that it is reality that heâs doing this to you. You canât avoid it like itâs a guilty little wet dream youâd be able to hide.Â
Itâs real.
And, well, fuck it. You love your sister just as much as you always have, even as you want to fuck her boyfriend. Even as her boyfriend seemingly wants to fuck you.
Even as you leave your room, entering their room for the first time.Â
Even as you inspect their bed, the placement suspiciously right on the other side of your own bed against the wall.Â
Even as you smell the familiar scent of Heeseung on one of the pillows and instantly throw yourself on the bed against it, shoving it between your legs in a desperate and obvious show of how much you really, really, fucking want it.Â
And if this is what it feels like to lose your fucking mind? So be it.Â
His pillow is soft, offering little pressure to your clit as you writhe against it, but you moan louder than you ever have while pleasuring yourself. For once, the house is empty and for once, you have a point of arousal that doesnât involve porn.
Your mind falls into images of him, and the way he moves his body during every day instances. Then, to the way he sounded when he fucked your sister in this very same bed. He must fuck hard, because that consistent thumping on your wall seemed to prove it already.Â
Fuck, you hope he fucks hard.Â
You saw the outline of it a few times by now too, so big even while flaccid and uninterested in you. He must know how to contain himself too. Real calm, real collected when it comes to how heâd probably use it.Â
The images swim up and down behind your eyes as you writhe your clit against the corner of his pillow for what feels like ages, knowing your panties are being pushed into the folds of your wet core, feeling your shorts skew as you move, back and forth, stretching with each grind forward.Â
Youâre aware that parts of your pussy are out in the open between grinds, feeling the soft material of his pillow rub you only slightly raw with the force of your movements, and you simply donât care. Youâre home alone, remember?Â
Wait. How long have you been doing this again?
âOh, fuck yeah.â You hear from behind you, startling you into a defensive position of curling around the pillow. âBumping it real good, werenât you? Right up on my pillow?â Heeseung laughs, standing just inside of the room with a step much quieter than heâd normally have when heâs walking around.Â
âFuck, thatâs so gross.â He snickers with hooded eyes and a triumphant smirk as he crosses his arms.Â
âYou really thought I wouldnât find out? Like I wouldnât be able to smell it? I smelled you when I walked in.â
God, the fucking horror that replaces the arousal hits you harder than you ever knew it could as you jump to your feet on buckled knees and try to mutter out an apology.
âIâm sorry.âÂ
He just said you were gross. He said he could smell you while scrunching his nose.Â
âIâm sorry, Heeseung, Iâm sorry.â You continue, trying to make your way past him ultimately so you can lock yourself in your bedroom to never come out.Â
âHmm, what makes you think you could just come in here and fuck my things?â He isnât going to let you go that easy, of course he isnât.
The thing about him is, he knows heâs got you now. That little sex bet going with his friends? Theyâre done for.
 Full control of the whole situation is right here in the palm of his hand, and the proof is that embarrassing wet spot you left on his pillow. This was all he needed. You made him chase, and heâll be damned if he gives you what you want now so easily.Â
Itâs your turn to ache with the same feeling between your legs. Youâre going to be fucking gone by the time he finally gives it to you.Â
âI thought yââ You try to explain, not looking him in the eye when he holds you in place by the arm from leaving.Â
âThought I wanted you over her?â He mutters to you in a hot whisper, pulling you back and against him, dipping his head and chasing your line of sight to force you to look at him. âOh my god, how sad.âÂ
You try look away, entirely confused, embarrassed, fucking ashamed.Â
Never have you let guilt take you over like this because youâve never allowed yourself to be in a position to feel so goddamn stupid.
Heâs going to tell her what you did. You might as well go pack your shit now and get ready to go back home because this was not okay.Â
âIâm sorry. I misreadâŠâ Youâre being forced to look at him, but you still keep your eyes on the bottom of his chin rather than his eyes, feeling his hands squeeze you, not at all noticing how rock fucking hard he is due to the sheer terror you feel at this moment.
âMm, no you didnât.â He explains, eyes scanning over your flushed face, tears prickling in your eyes.Â
And once again, fucking confusion. The weight of guilt lifts off of you at his words, allowing you to look him straight in the eyes this time. Urging him to tell you that he does want you. That everything you thought previously was true.
That he was trying to come onto you.Â
âYou were throwing your legs open for just anyone.â He lands the blow harshly, with his breath hitting you square in the forehead. âI just wanted to see if you were really as slutty as Jay said you were.â
A direct blow to any confidence you ever could have had walking around this house.Â
You fell for it. Your sister is dating a piece of shit, and somehow you still find him so attractive. You still wish he was lying.Â
You still wish he liked you, or wanted you on some level.
âGod, such a cry baby too.â He rolls his eyes now, breathing in deep before releasing his hold on you. âGo cry in your room, Iâm sure you still have an orgasm to get, donât you?âÂ
You refuse the eye contact again as you try to walk away in a way that you wish could make you disappear. Heâs making damn sure to shame you straight into the dirt, and it makes you feel so unclean.Â
âDonât you?â He repeats with a louder voice as you walk away, stepping into your room, and closing the door behind you.
Yeah, youâre still probably going to get that orgasm. He knows it.Â
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Heeseung is a nightmare to be around. Youâre annoyed that you didnât notice it before and actually wanted to be around him before that mishap with his pillow.Â
You canât read him.Â
When your sister is home, he ignores you for the most part. He spends his time on his PC yelling with friends, he scoffs at you, looks at you like you look and sound ridiculous any time you say something, yet, when heâs with your sister, heâs so, so, loving.Â
All over her, really. Hands on her waist, back, thighs, ass. Heâs so sexual with her in front of you, to the point that you canât make eye contact at all with either of them.Â
To the point that you miss it every time when he checks to see if youâre watching.Â
Whatâs worse about Heeseung is that you think now that he has no interest in you. Everything he did really was for an ego boost, or like some shitty game he was playing. It got to the point that, yeah, youâre sexting at least one of his friends as often as possible despite never giving them a reason to come over, and certainly not going to see them yourself.Â
Itâs like a bandaid as you lay in your bed night after night listening to Heeseung on the other side of the wall draw you into a state of lust, pining, and absent passion. So vocal, when heâs fucking her. You always feel alone when he does it, with your fingers slamming away and offering pleasure that never gets you there. You always come up short, never being able to get off.Â
Even with all of that, he still flirts.
Which fucks you up even more. Heâll make you feel so awful about everything thatâs happened, everything you actively say or do, and then turn around and smile at you when your sister is at work.Â
Heâll offer to make dinner for you. Heâll do your laundry and fold it, always mixing his clothes into the pile by accident. Heâll touch your waist. Heâll brush his hand past yours when he catches you in the hallway while walking by.Â
When you try to flirt back, or look at him for too long though? Hope in your eyes and weight lifting from your shoulders at his hidden actions? He shuts you down instantly.Â
Like this morning, when you left your room and went to the kitchen to make coffee, he was already there. He came up behind you real close, rubbing what you presume to be his soft dick against your ass as he lifted and grabbed the filters down for you.Â
And when you choked up and looked at him? He could see that little glint of hope in your eyes.
âI was just helping. Jesus christ, youâre more needy than your sister.âÂ
Or that time yesterday, when you were lounging on the couch and he came out after a shower in those same fucking sweat pants, without a shirt again, and sat down next to you. Spreading his legs wide, smirking, and watching you try to avoid his eyes.Â
âCanât even look at me without getting wet, huh?âÂ
Safe to say, Heeseung is playing the game with his friends a little too hard. Knowing that at any point during the day if he wanted to push you to the floor and take you, he fucking could.Â
So that leaves you now, sitting here feeling about as crazy as you did the day you ran into his room and started fucking his pillow. Every day is felt with sexual frustration that you donât know what to do with, even sexting his friends, even receiving their videos and hot words, even with their promises of multiple orgasms and hour long sessions of head, your frustration isnât satiated.
You worry it never will be if Heeseung doesnât move out, or like, fall out a window or something.
And as you leave your room to go back to the kitchen for a snack, of course you note the open door of the office that is far too silent compared to thirty minutes earlier.Â
Of course, Heeseung has trained you to be entirely too curious about what heâs doing at all times when the two of you are alone.
Of course, you donât turn and walk away the moment you see his back turned, shoulder moving, and a brightly colored hentai flashing across his monitor.Â
In fact, you stand there solely because you canât deny yourself of this.
âWas wondering if youâd come in here.â He mutters through a breath, turning his face for a moment before pumping his hand harder. âSâonly fair that I let you watch too, right?â
Heâs bringing up the pillow incident. Again. Like he hasnât brought it up a million times since it happened as a form of shaming you. Telling you how it smelled, laughing and asking how many times you planned to do it behind his back.Â
Youâre still frozen though, coming to terms with the fact that he could call you an ugly whore and youâd probably accept it at face value just to watch the very scene in front of you.
Are you selfish or are you just desperate?Â
Maybe a bit of both.
âCome over here.â He says to your silence, now swiveling his chair around and ignoring the animated fuck-fest on screen.Â
You take in an inhale, trying not to show it by looking away from him, but ultimately failing when your eyes fall straight to where his hand is in his pants. The tent created by the sheer size of him leaving far too much for you to think about.Â
Anyone in this situation would call him a loser. Jerking it to hentai? Looking the way he does? Being unemployed and doing this at like, eleven in the morning? You can tell he hasnât slept too, and thatâs entirely something a simp would do. Something a virgin would do.
But, you want him. Youâve never been so attracted to someone, actually. He sees you swallow at the image too, smirking and stilling his hand.Â
âShit, youâre really just going to watch me?âÂ
Yeah. You figured that was obvious to him, considering he already thinks youâre gross, embarrassing, and shameless. Itâs not like you not watching at this point would change his mind about you.Â
So, you just stand there, watching, waiting.
Until he gives you a breathless chuckle and a shake of his head.Â
âCome on, get a better look then.â He encourages you through a soft moan, sliding his fingers on the underside of his length, feeling the pre-cum drip out.Â
There it is again. Him acting interested.Â
Itâs really the worst because you give in every single time, clinging to the hope that maybe he really is interested this time, only to be shot down time and time again.Â
Right now is no different from the countless other times heâs flirted just to laugh at you trying to flirt back. Even as you walk towards him with shaking hands gripping the bottom of your own shirt for comfort, you know heâs probably just going to pull his hand out of his pants and probably present a very large cucumber or something before laughing at the fact that you really thought.Â
Except, he doesnât do that.Â
You can see the wet spot at the top of the tent his cock creates, right where the head rubs up against the fabric and it proves that heâs really touching himself right now.
âLower.â He instructs under hooded eyes, head leaned back against his chair, body slouched and relaxed. âOn the floor.â
Ah, the fucking power he has is electrifying. You really just do everything he says in the hopes that someday, heâll put it in you. In the hopes that someday, he will show you what it is that your sister loves so much about him.Â
The way you do lower yourself to your knees on his floor, sitting right there in front of him with your eyes glued to the hidden act of what heâs doing to himself? God, youâre dirty.
He chews on his lower lip as he works himself up to the image of you simply on your knees, gripping your shirt like itâs the only thing holding you from falling off of the earth. So pretty, so complacent, so willing.Â
Fuck, he knows his friends want you and he can imagine that they must furiously get off to this very image themselves, thought up all by themselves. Except theyâve actually seen your body, Heeseung hasnât seen shit.
âTake it off.â He says through a breath, the words shaking with each pump of his fist as he tries to stimulate the whole length of his cock without pulling it out.Â
Itâs a tight fit in his pants right now, but he isnât going to show you a damn thing.Â
You blink up at him, your eyes shining and bright at the fact that youâre fine not seeing it. You seem totally satisfied just watching him pleasure himself.Â
Oh god, youâre fucking perfect.Â
Even more perfect when you do remove your shirt, tits sitting nice and naked for him to stare at harder. Big. Plush. Prettier than the ones that are drawn to perfection by horny men on his screen just to the side of him. Prettier than your sisterâs, even.Â
âAh, yeah.â He comments, hand pumping faster, cock leaking more. âJust sit right there and look pretty for me.â
And, you do. Hands now pressed into the carpet beneath you, gripping the texture much like you did your shirt just to press your tits together for him. Just so he wants you right now, even if he wonât ten minutes from now.Â
He really does just watch you too. The image of you alone like this seemingly just enough to get him there when you notice his head slam back against the headrest of his chair again.
Bottom lip bitten, eyebrows raised, a held breath, and then heâs releasing that same breath along with his cum. All into his hand and against his pants as he pumps harder through the sensitivity of his orgasm.Â
Eyes falling back to you, darker this time, he smirks as he slides his hand from his pants, careful not to lose any of that thick, milky, cum, and tipping his fingers at you.Â
âAhh-â He opens his mouth, speaking to you as if heâs feeding you a snack, and for some reason, you mimic it.
Your mouth opens as you lean forward and he slips his fingers in, relishing in the feeling of your frantic tongue licking up the taste of him.
So desperate, god, you want it so bad and he can see it.
He can feel it.Â
And by the time youâve licked his fingers clean, eyes tearing up because you know heâs about to mock you for how much you loved the taste of it, he pulls his hand back and says nothing.
He doesnât even smile at you when he stands up, staring down at you like he owns you.Â
Youâre just sitting on the floor shirtless, avoiding his eye contact and preparing for whatever fucked up thing he wants to say about it, salty sweet remnants of his flavor in your mouth, and near tears in your eyes.Â
âYou really did that.â He says before stepping to the side of you and heading for the door. âSwallowed all of it too.â
You did, and of course youâre ashamed despite sitting here wet and aching. You nod as you stare at the floor in shame, hands clasped in your lap.
âGood girl.â He breathes out to you before leaving for the bathroom, not another word muttered to you.
And as Heeseung stands looking at himself in the mirror, chest heaving as he reels from what just took place, he smiles. God, the horror you must feel right now. If you knew how much he liked this and how willing you were to take what you can get, youâd probably be the happiest girl alive.Â
Youâre so willing to feel ashamed, so willing to be shamed, just to look at him? Just to see him do this? Just to suck all of his cum off of his fingers?Â
Youâre fucking crazy.Â
If you knew how he silently jerked off, breathing in that pillow you had against your pussy, youâd probably orgasm on the spot. If you fucking knew how he stole your panties the very day you moved in, youâd probably give him the ones youâre wearing now just to please him.Â
Ah, so perfect. Itâs only a matter of time now.
Only a matter of time before he wins and shuts his friends up for fucking good, because honestly, itâs getting old now to hear his friends pretend they have a shot at this with you.
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Living with your sister became something you never meant for it to be. Youâre not living with her, youâre living with fucking guilt, and confusion, and insatiable lust for the man sheâs supposed to be pleasing every night.Â
In fact, the amount you see her is far less than you originally thought. She works so much, and when sheâs not working overtime just to come home and love on her asshole of a boyfriend, and tell you sweet goodnights like you didnât eat his cum off his fingers, sheâs sleeping away the exhaustion of being the only good person in this house.Â
Unfortunately for her though, you donât care.
You appreciate the freedom sheâs given to you on a silver platter, with a nice new bedroom suite and good food in the fridge, but you know she didnât bring you here with the intention of giving you this much freedom.
She gave you the ability to fuck and be fucked whenever and where ever you want, but the choice wasnât meant to be Heeseung. With his ever changing moods, annoying gamer rage, and disconcerting need to flirt and shame you.Â
You canât believe youâre sitting here across from her before yet another one of her shifts, drinking the same juice, eating the same breakfast, pretending like you havenât tasted the same cum she has.Â
You canât believe that while growing up, you always shared her stuff against her will. She hated finding you wearing one of her favorite tops, or her new pairs of shoes. She would get so mad and all you can think now is that, surely she would kill you if she found out what else youâve used behind her back.
And when you watch Heeseung kiss her goodbye, he seems all too entertained with the situation. Watching you pretend like you donât want him, watching your sister be blissfully unaware of who his dick twitches for.
 Watching, watching, watching.Â
Staring, really, at you through the kiss. Up until she leaves for the day and youâre left staring back at him. Heeseung lends you a small wave with an uncaring face, wiggling the same fingers he fucked your mouth with in your face, almost seeming like heâs attempting to lure you to open those same lips again for him.
Almost as if to remind you that youâre pathetic.Â
And goddammit. You fucking are.
Thatâs why, of course, youâve found yourself time and time again in these same text messages. Fully guilty of leading these guys on but not nearly as guilty as you feel each time you show how bad you need it to the one man who doesnât deserve it.Â
Jay, if he could, would probably fuck you right on the doorstep by this point with the amount of nudes, phone calls, and blatant shows of sexual interest. You can sense how annoyed he is with cumming all by himself using your photos, but like, thatâs very attractive of him to wait.
Sunghoon? So frustrated with you for never following up with him, but entirely willing to fuck you with his dirty words and images of what heâd love to do if youâd just get the fuck out of the house for a day.
And Jake, ah, Jake. The cutest. One youâd take all of this frustration out on, the one who would probably apologize to you for everything bad thatâs ever happened to you mid-orgasm solely because he wouldnât know what else to say or do when heâs feeling so good.
Sexting any of them, or all of them, is really your only relief from the man who looms around this house. But at this point, even that is doing nothing for you.
Even as you read Jayâs texts, knowing heâs actively playing video games at the same time and not jerking off like he claims.Â
Jay: take a new one, i want more materialÂ
You: youâre not even touching yourself, you know I can hear heeseung yell at you right?
Jay: what? you think I canât multitask?Â
You: is that why heâs yelling then?Â
Jay: one handing it and still got more kills than him, yea
God, heâs too confident while being such a fucking loser, but yeah, youâll send him a new picture. Youâll go ahead and send it to Jake too. And Sunghoon, of course.
Then you pause with your fingers on the screen, zooming in on your body and checking it. Only half wondering what would happen if you took a pussy picture. Only half thinking of sending it to Heeseung. Not the other three, just him.
Half wondering turns to full wondering, as you listen to him yell something about Jay going down again mid match, proving that he probably was, in fact, fucking his fist mid-game and absolutely not getting more kills.
Heeseungâs voice sounds so full of anger. So loud, cracking in pitch even. Itâs hard to imagine someone sounding so stupid being able to act in a way thatâs made you feel so lost and ashamed of wanting him.Â
Yet, he did. And thatâs why you decide right at this moment, youâll always give in to his flirting even while knowing heâll mock you and make fun of you for it. Youâve already dealt with it to the point that youâre used to it. At least you still get something out of it, right?Â
At least, maybe, heâll give you something else to feel ashamed of today, right?Â
And as you take that photo, lying back on your bed, shifting your panties to the side and spreading your lips open for the camera, you snap a photo of your hole for him. Right there, already wet just imagining him thinking youâre pathetic for doing this.Â
At this point, youâre not feeling too ashamed of it right now. After all, he jerked off looking at you like there wasnât at least three holes being fucked and filled on the screen behind him before. SoâŠ
You send the photo to him, ignoring the displayed message from Jay stating, âyou only sent this one to me, right?âÂ
And then you wait.Â
And you wait.
And wait.
You can still hear Heeseung yelling his gaming talk, but you watch his text messages like a hawk. Feeling nervous, terrified, embarrassed, shamed, turned on, curious, wet.
Each time heâs silent, you stare at the messages, up until you notice that heâs opened it.Â
He saw it.
You wait for footsteps, you wait to hear him tell his friends that heâll be back. You wait for him to stomp in here and call you gross.Â
And you wait more.
And more.Â
Up until you canât wait any longer and you find yourself shifting up and off of your bed, leaving your phone behind as you make your way to the office. Heâs facing away from you as usual, the character on screen on a swivel as the scope of the gun searches for a head to shoot, and thenâ his phone.
Right there beside him, open, the image pulled up.Â
âWhat are you trying to do?â He says, but you canât tell if itâs for you or his friends.Â
You stand there, pussy looking much the same as it was in that photo, except now with your shorts back on you, and panties back in place.Â
âTrying to fuck me over right now?â He continues when a kill screen shows up and heâs got a few seconds to lift his hand from the mouse. Not even looking at you, he beckons you with two fingers and pushes his chair back just slightly.
By the time you get up beside him, he puts his fingers over his mouth, glancing up at you, then down at his phone and tapping it. Immediately after tapping, he points to the floor in front of him, scooting back more to make room for you.
The silent conversation is loud as he narrows his eyes at you when you sink to your knees on the floor in front of him. You crawl under the desk, legs quivering at the idea that heâs absolutely ignoring you, but also inviting you.Â
As if heâs feeding you what you want. As if he doesnât need this too.Â
And maybe he doesnât, you think, as you carefully reach forward to his knees, feeling him push his chair in and trap you under the desk. He doesnât look hard, proving that heâs simply allowing you to quench your thirst for his cum, surely.Â
Allowing you to be pathetic.Â
Allowing you to see it.Â
And finally, you do. Heâs even polite enough to lift his ass up a bit just to let you pull his sweats down to get it out. Slowly growing at the feeling of your breath against it.Â
You breathe deeply before you press your lips against it instantly, darting your tongue out curiously and closing your eyes to relish in the first taste of his skin. Itâs a clean taste, and despite him not being fully hard for this just yet, it only drives you to do better, to do more, until he actually wants you to do this for him, not just for you.Â
You could argue that it seemed much bigger when he was jerking it off in front of you, then again, heâs still not fully hard yet.Â
It actually hurts your feelings that youâre the one needing to get him horny right now. After all, you are clearly hungry for it, not him.
And you take him into your mouth again, and again, feeling him stiffen by the second. Still, his focus isnât on you or what youâre doing down here.Â
Until it is, anyway.Â
By this point, youâre actually struggling to take him into your mouth, and you can argue heâs only at half-girth as you try. The top of your head bumps his desk every few seconds, which forces you to keep him in your mouth.Â
Kind of terrifying actually, to have put something in your mouth so readily only to regret the fact that his cock is essentially locked in by the small pace youâre trapped in, and itâs only swelling up more and more by the second.Â
Hardening until your throat is constricting around it, forcing you to gag and search for breath.
Itâs hard to breathe as you cough and drool around him, frantically trying to pull off of him and hitting your head hard against the desk when you do.
He fucking chuckles at it before you feel his hand slip under the desk with you and grab his now fully hard cock. What does he do with it? He fucking slaps it straight across your face before forcing it right back between your lips.Â
You hate to say how wet that made you, and you hate even more to say that you kind of like the feeling of your throat getting bruised. Willing yourself to gag around him again, trying to twitch your tongue against the weight of his far too big length in your mouth.Â
You donât want him to laugh though, you want him to fucking moan. All for his friends to hear. After all, itâs the first time youâre going down on him and itâll probably be the last time too, right?
Not to mention, youâve barely had experiencing sucking dick as it is, he should he fucking helping you get through this.
But heâs not. Heâs justâŠplaying his fucking game. Hell, the twitches of his length against your gag reflex is probably more for the kill he gets rather than the way your dripping spit all over and down his balls.Â
This is embarrassing, and yetâ you love it. You fucking adore it, with the way your clit aches just at the thought that heâs letting you put your mouth on him at all.
Maybe it really is for you, and not for him.Â
âAh, fuck.â Heeseung groans, probably more to his game than to you.
His hand shoots under the table, right to the top of your head as his other balances himself on the seat of his chair. There, he holds your head down on him and angles his hips just slightly to fuck up. Gaging you repeatedly, holding back his own moans at the way youâre just going to let him use you like this.
And as quickly as it happened, that short grunt from him not going unnoticed, heâs drawing his hands back above his desk, relaxing his body, and giving back the control.Â
Already, you can hear his fingers against the keyboard again.
âBack in the game, Jay, to the right!â He shouts, showing you that he absolutely just fucked your face because he got fucking downed in the game.Â
And you continue, trying to give him that same feeling that he forced on you just now, and never quite getting the same force behind your lips or tongue for him. His cock is throbbing though, choking you with each dribble and spurt of precum, up until heâs pulling the same trick.
Fucking up, holding your throat down on him, for just a bit until heâs back in the game and playing.
This happens for what feels like forever. To the point that surely, youâre drenching the carpet under you, and youâre starting to feel insecure in the fact that he hasnât cum yet. Are you really justâŠbad at giving head?
Heeseungâs legs shift as you continue, slowing your pace and trying to rub your jaw through it with your free hand thatâs not gripping the fabric of his lowered sweats. You do this up until his cock is suddenly sliding further and further out of your throat when he rolls his chair back.Â
Ah.Â
Oh.
Oh, my god. You think, getting the first glimpse of his face since you started. Blown out pupils staring down under his desk, hair a mess, mic right up against his smirking lips.Â
He looksâŠlike he enjoyed it? Maybe? Are you getting ahead of yourself?
âYou want more?â He asks, straight into the mic and confusing his friends. âI can see how much you want it, baby, come on. Iâll give it to you.â
You stare up at him, pretending that when you crawl out from under the desk and try to stand, you canât hear the way he turns up the volume of his friends responding in confusion.Â
âWhat the fuck are you talking about?â You hear the familiar voice of Sunghoon. âIf youâre gonna fuck your girlfriend, at least mute yourself, dick.âÂ
You nervously glance to his game thatâs still full screened. You knew he was gaming with his friends since this morning, but for him to talk to you like this as if they canât hear him?Â
âTheyâll want to hear you.â He comments now, alerting his friends that heâs obviously not talking to them. âTrust me, they donât fucking shut up about you.âÂ
Thatâs when they realize.
âNo fucking way.â Jake blurts. âThereâs no way.â
Jay remains silent, staring at his unanswered text message before minimizing his game and dropping his mouth in surprise.
âCome on then, you already let me fuck that pretty mouth, might as well, right?â He says to you again, this time lifting his hips and tapping his desk. âBend over for me.âÂ
What you think is just an unmuted mic, unfortunately, is much, much more than that. You see, Heeseung likes to stream to his friends, back and behind his full screened game was the image of him suffering through your need to deep throat him half to death.
He remained calm, at first not exactly wanting his friends to know. Not wanting them to see you like this, and most certainly not wanting them to have any images of you to get off to. But now? Oh, to win their own game in front of them?Â
âFuck, look at that.â He says, watching you take the spot in front of him and bend over his desk, keyboard buttons pressing in and glitching the screen out momentarily due to your tits lying against it. âNow look up.â He instructs.Â
âNo. Fucking. Way.â Jake blurts again once he minimized his game and instantly saw you on the camera, looking so out of it, so unaware. âSunghoon, are you seeing this?â
Jay was still watching with his mouth agape, cock leaking as it always does for you except now? Itâs the fact that Heeseung is really just gonna do something so awful to your sister? Heâs really going to fuck you right here, right now? With proof?!
âHeeseung, donât.â Sunghoon warns, unable to tear his eyes away from the screen in front of him.Â
âDonât what? Sunghoon?â Heeseung smiles as he reaches his hands around the front of you, pulling you back by groping both of your tits. âFuck your girl in front of you?â
You just listen, shocked that Sunghoon is actually asking Heeseung to stop. Shocked that they apparently have beef or something, over you? Surely not.Â
âNoââ Sunghoon chokes back. âDonât turn off the camera.âÂ
âCamera?!â You panic, trying to break free of his grip on your chest, but he holds you there, pressing you closer with your back to his chest, his cock throbbing under your thigh.Â
âWhat? Now you have an issue with cameras?â Heeseung seethes sarcastic words into your hair, squeezing your tits harder now. âRelax, baby, I know theyâve already seen you like this.âÂ
âRight?â Heeseung now directs his attention to the screen, lunging forward to quickly minimize the full-screened game, getting a good look at his friends and you in the camera against him.Â
The image is wildly attractive to him for many reasons. For one, he can see himself on the screen with his point of desire sitting right here on his lap. Secondly, his friends are awestruck by what he gets to have right now. Shamelessly watching, biting their words back, taking in deep breaths. And lastly, he can tell that everyone on camera right now either wants to be him or be fucked by him.
Whatâs not to love about this?Â
And Heeseung is quick when he flashes his eyes away from each of his friends, straight to you in the camera, watching you avoid looking at the screen. He moves one hand from your chest, pushes his chair back, and immediately cups between your legs.Â
âYou show them this too, or was that just for me?â
You shake your head at Heeseung, reeling with embarrassment and arousal as you try to squeeze your legs closed around his hand. You feel choked up, throat sore, legs buckled, clit throbbing for him to dig his palm against it.
âMm, you see that Jay?â Heeseung moves his eyes to his friend on screen. âCouldnât even get her to show her pussy for you?âÂ
Jay appears entirely tuned into the situation, eyebrows sitting furrowed and focused on you. God, if only he focused that much in game, Heeseung thinks he could probably out rank him if he wanted to.Â
âJake?â Heeseung trails to his other friend, making sure each and every one of them hears and sees exactly what heâs doing.Â
Your eyes follow the names Heeseung calls out. Shyly, somewhat dazed. Tearing your eyes from Jay was already hard enough as is. After all, seeing his blatant attraction to you right there, in front of everyone? Maybe you should have let him hit, even just once because damn. Itâs almost pitiful, that look in his eye as he watches you.Â
Jake on the other hand? You can tell he lets his hair fall partly in front of his eyes but he smiles to himself while watching. Something about seeing him like this makes you feel like youâve just experienced extreme whiplash. It embarrasses you more knowing that you figured Jake was too inexperienced to know how to fuck a girl. He was too sweet.Â
Too soft.
Too different from his friends.
As you look at him now though, you realize he isnât different at all. In fact, he might have been more full of shit than any of the others as you stare at his wicked eyes and nod of approval at Heeseung.Â
Hell, heâs even the one who mutters out a small, âShow us her tits.âÂ
The only reason Heeseung does as Jake asked is because he canât help but relish in the look on their faces of seeing what they could have had, but now never will. To see them lose. To witness him win.Â
Theyâre pathetic. Truly, when he drags your shirt up your belly and over your chest. Already braless, of course. And honestly, youâre shocked that they all react this way like you didnât just send them tit pics butâÂ
This is more embarrassing somehow. Four pairs of eyes are on you and only one pair of hands. You want all of their hands.Â
âI fucking knew youâd let me do this.â Heeseung chuckles against your ear, cupping his hands under your tits and presenting them to his friends. Bouncing them, rubbing them, pulling on both nipples before releasing them and letting your tits fall into their natural position. âKnew you were a slut the moment I saw the kind of panties you had hidden in that suitcase of yours.âÂ
You glance away from the camera now, knowing Heeseung is right with his words.Â
âYou should be fighting me, not dripping that pretty pussy all over me. Am I wrong?âÂ
You should be fighting. You shouldnât be okay with this moment being broadcasted to three different people that youâve been leading on. And yeah, you should hate him for all of the confusion and mental anguish he put you through.Â
Yet, the arousal you have for him outweighs all of it. The arousal you have for this situation in general outweighs any shame you could feel, or the shame that comes after it.Â
Being wanted like this by four men who you find incredibly attractive?Â
âWhat more could a girl want?â You murmur in a hushed tone, rolling your hips just slightly on his lap, letting him feel the warmth of you seep into his sweatpants. His cock still hard and raging from your previous actions of choking on him.
Those words shock him as his eyes glance to the screen, noting how youâre writhing your body on him, totally shameless, totally fucking perfect with your tits out and on display, only pushing for more. Itâs the fact that he fucking forgot he had his head set on for a moment and didnât even catch that you whispered that shit straight into his mic.Â
He only realized it when he saw three faces on screen drop to a slack jawed expression and Sunghoon immediately leaned forward with a groan of âspread her legs.âÂ
On any other day, for Heeseung, Jake, or Jay, seeing Sunghoon clearly push his pants down his thighs off camera would make them recoil and make fun of him. But theyâre not right now, because the focus isnât on any of the cocks being openly hard in this shared online space.Â
The focus is on you, and the way Heeseung absolutely spreads your legs and pushes your knees up by the thighs so that the flat of your feet are resting on his knees. There, he drops his hands from your tits and reaches around you, rubbing the line of your shorts on the insides of your thighs just enough that glimpses of your panties flash every few seconds.Â
From back here, the camera offers Heeseung the same view but it hits him differently because heâs the one doing it. Heâs got his head resting on your shoulder as he watches, noting how you lean your head back against his own shoulder and breathe through his guided touches.Â
âLook at yourself.â He turns his head to whisper right against your cheek. âYouâd let us all take a turn, hm? Wouldnât even know which dick is in you.â
Your eyes open in a roll, landing your gaze on the screen and feeling flushed at the image. You donât care how embarrassing or pathetic you are for this. No, because, look at them. Everyone wants you to act like this.Â
âProbably wouldnât even care either, as long as youâre being fucked. Yeah, thatâs right.âÂ
Nodding in a daze against him, you roll your hips harder, trying to bump his hand against your pussy, trying to prove to everyone that you have three holes and two hands for a reason.Â
You donât flinch when he slides his hands up the leg of your shorts either, pulling them to the side to reveal how wet you are to everyone. Listening to your body and the way it sings to him, brushing his knuckles against the swell of your clit, tapping the space where your hole sits and clenches to be seen.Â
âAh, fuck.â Jay finally lets out in a shaky breath, hand clearly still working himself because, well, he was half hard before you made an even appearance on camera. âIt looks like she pissed herselfââÂ
Heeseung laughs as he drags his eyes to the image between your legs, so wet, entirely drenched through your nearly see-through panties at this point. Jay is right, it does look like youâve pissed yourself, which only makes his cock throb more. That youâre so wet for him? So fucking drenched? God, he doesnât even need lube with you.
You slick up so nice for him, itâs actually becoming painful not to test the stickiness, the slide it offers, the warmth. With this much pouring out of you, like youâve already squirted, surely you could take all of him.
In an instant he pushes you from his lap, making you feel dizzy and light headed because suddenly youâre on your feet in front of him again. He gives you no time to balance yourself when heâs pulling your shirt up and off of you in a huffed out sigh, holding you in place by your tits to keep you from toppling over and breaking his monitor. Â
And when you steady out, his hands run straight down, shoving your shorts and panties down in one go before immediately pulling you back to his lap, holding your arms behind you, and spreading his own legs to force yours open for his friends.
âTake a good, long, look.â Heeseung directs towards his friends, sliding his hand in front of you and using two fingers to present your hole to them. âIf you think sheâs pretty, let her know now.âÂ
Itâs the way Heeseung moves his hand from behind you just to set his headset on your head now, quickly pinning your arms in place again and allowing you to listen to his friends do just that.Â
Immediately, pussy spread and unintentionally clenching in the camera, one of your senses is enveloped with the sound of Jayâs palm shamelessly dragging up and down his hidden cock. Then, the sound of Jake and his deep inhales paired with slight cracked whines, just as shameless, doing much the same.
Then, Sunghoon.
Fucking Sunghoon. Barely moving, but more willing to talk to you with that headset on your head.Â
âThis why you didnât come over?â He asks you blatantly in a breathy voice, glaring at the fingers of Heeseung holding your cunt open for him. âThat could be me right now, but youâre really just going to fuck him? Of all people?â
You groan, lifting your head to give a proud nod and accidentally bumping Heeseung in the chin with the action.Â
The bump forces him to bite his tongue, a metallic taste of the small amount of blood flooding his mouth mixed with saliva when he dips his head, grabbing you by the hair and forcing your mouth to his.
You can taste the blood too, when he presses his wet tongue past your lips without so much as swallowing the mixture first. Practically drooling and spitting into your mouth through the rough kiss. It feels like your drowning, kissing him back like youâve always wanted to, tasting him in a new way now and moaning into it.Â
Like a slut, really. Just fucking moaning. And he only forces more out of you too, as you feel him adjust his hands, holding you here on his lap, rough tongue bleeding against yours, sliding two fingers into you with one push.Â
God, finally. Fucking, finally.Â
Your mouth falls open in a sharp inhale of feeling his fingers, his lips turning to a smirk at hearing one of his friends audibly moan at the image on screen for them. You just showed how much of his saliva you were savoring, diluted red in the drool dripping down your chin through your moan.
Youâre dirty, all four of them can see that much. But only Heeseung gets to feel it.Â
His cock throbs at the image when he strains his eyes to the screen, plunging his fingers in, out, in, out, until he pulls them from you entirely, thrusting them into your open mouth instead.Â
You squeal at the intrusion of his sudden fingers against your tongue, offering a third taste in your mouth. Yourself.Â
âMhm,â Heeseung encourages you. âSuck it up like you did for me the other day.â
You hear Jake gasp at the idea that youâve already done this for Heeseung before, probably leading him to believe that Heeseung has also probably already fucked you.
And hell, with how itâs looking, none of them would be shocked if that were the case.Â
âYouâve been doing this while talking to us?â Jake tries to confirm with you through a breathed sigh, groaning and unintentionally showing that heâŠwouldnât mind.Â
âGod, I donât even want to fuck you now.â Sunghoon on the other hand, isnât so willing and lies, absolutely wanting to be the person fucking your lips with his fingers. âAfter Heeseung? Disgusting.âÂ
Oh, they think heâs fucked you already?Â
You shoot your eyes open, trying to shake your head in a ânoâ at them but still suckling around his fingers.Â
âGoddamn,â Heeseung grunts, rutting up against your back, letting his cock leave leaking little spots of his precum against your lower back. âYour sister would never act like this.âÂ
âYou should be ashamed, but you love it.â He continues, talking, talking, talking. Shoving his fingers deeper, deeper, deeper. âWork that tongue like a good girl.â He continues to whisper from behind you beforeâÂ
Youâre gagging. Feeling his fingers reach deep into your throat and press your tongue down to the point youâre forced to open your mouth wide. Exposing not only your finger-fucked pussy to his friends, but now your open and constricting throat.Â
Sunghoon immediately regrets his insult at you, seeing how wide and open your throat can be. Gagging openly with very little sound as Heeseung compresses your tongue through it.Â
Youâre drooling again, eyes blinking up at the ceiling as if you could possibly find a way to drink away your tears.Â
Thatâs about as much as Jay can take, gripping the base of his weeping length, willing it to stop threatening him with an orgasm before Heeseung really gets you looking pretty. He chokes up through the mic, and the sound runs straight through your body.
There, he watches you moan through an open and dry mouth, throat muscles tensing just to get the sound out. He grips harder, needing to pull his eyes away but struggling so hard to fucking do.Â
âShit, baby. Stop.â Jay calls through the microphone, forcing his friends eyes on him, yours included, as all of you watch him vibrate in his seat in an attempt not to cum. âStop moaning.â
Heeseung hears him say it, and intentionally gags you again instead. Bumping his fingers at the back of your throat with a smile on his face. Glancing between all of his friends, seeing how pathetic they are for what he does to you.Â
The fact that theyâre sticking around at all? Both great and fucking embarrassing. Even more embarrassing than you.Â
Then Heeseung focuses back on you, tears running down your pretty cheeks, mouth agape, throat struggling to adjust still to his fingers despite taking his cock like thatâs the only shape or size it wanted.Â
Ah, your body is so pathetically telling, and he grants you the release of another gag by sliding his fingers out of your mouth and straight back to your warm, pulsing, hole.
Right back in, one hole filled at all times it seems, as he feeds into the whiplash heâs able to give you. You didnât even notice how he shoves you off of his lap until you can no longer see the screen in front of you and are face to face with his keyboard. No frustrated face of Jay, no forced calm and collected expression from Sunghoon, no blatantly bitten lips of Jake.Â
No, only the feeling of Heeseung chasing your hole with his fingers, your hips running from the touch due to sensitivity and buckled knees. He holds you there against his desk, standing behind you and pressing his cock between your ass cheeks. Fingers roughly rubbing your clit, sliding down to fuck into you, then out again to rub you harder.
His friends watch you try to run your lower half away from him, but his eyes stay glued to the camera, as if heâs staring into the soul of his friends.Â
âYou guys wanna see me fuck her?â He comments in a sly tone, cock grinding against you. âI can fuck her.âÂ
âAh, Heeââ You groan as a response, listening to the slapping of palms against cocks only grow more furious and finally relaxing your body to now search for his fingers, just to push yourself back on them. âPlease.â
He snickers from behind you, grabbing a hand full of hair at the back of your head as he rips his fingers from your needy hole, wiping them along your cheek as he forces you to look at him.Â
âAgain.â He demands, now pinching your cheeks with one hand, arching your back more by the pull of your hair. âSay, âPlease, Seungie, fuck me.â He whispers into your mouth, loud enough for the mic to pick up the way you swallow around his words.Â
âSay, âPlease, Hee, give it to me.â He continues, making his voice higher pitched as if to mock your moans.
Sunghoon watches and listens in shock, never once wanting to know that this is how his own friend fucks someone, but goddamn. Itâs like heâs just found the video on page 86 of pornhub that hit just right as he watches. Fucking up and into his fist like his life depends on it, waiting, waiting, waiting, for you to moan out just like Heeseung is telling you to.Â
And itâs the fact that you fucking do, Heeseung watching the way Jake presses his entire body into his chair, staring down at himself with a fast moving palm, so fast that he can see his friend lose himself to the pleasure.
Jay, near tears in his eyes as he watches, probably moaning in your ear like a mad man right now.Â
You fucking say it.
You say both, moaning in a choked gasp when you feel him stick his tip in you at it.Â
âPleaseââ You hiccup as you try to repeat the words again and again for him. âGod, yes.â You rasp out in a deeper tone at the feeling of him slide in.Â
And he keeps sliding in, trying to keep himself from rolling his eyes back when he bottoms out and feels your cunt clench him as if youâll never let it go.
And then, one quick thrust, holding your hair in his hands, arching you harder, his other hand reaching for yours and holding them behind your back, he fucks forward.Â
Your tits bounce with the movement, neck strained to keep your eye on his face as you try to adjust to the full size of him entering you.
âShe just takes it.â Heeseung grunts with a choked breath. âShit, so goddamn tight.â He murmers again, nearly unable to stand on his own two feet how tight you are.
He forces you to look at him through it, squeezing your hands together so tightly through it that you can barely focus on the pain of your positioned body against the feeling of his cock splitting you open with each hard thrust.Â
And then, you let out the most filthy, wet, pornographic cry.Â
Heeseung then brings his attention to his monitor one last time, watching the pathetic mess of people in front of him getting off entirely on his cock driving into you.Â
âI win.â He says with one pointed thrust, keeping his hips pressed against your ass and only pressing in harder, trying to reach another inch in, trying to break past whatever wall inside of you keeps him from impaling you entirely on him.Â
All three friends burst into a feeling of realization, Jake already mid orgasm at the sound of that moan you just cried outâÂ
Then theresâŠ.nothin but the feeling of Heeseung releasing your hands and allowing you to grip his desk through this deep hold of his length inside of you.Â
Suddenly, no sound through the headset, the light of the monitor in your peripheral vision goes off, and Heeseung is breaking his demeanor just to moan out in full again.Â
âDrove them crazy,â He chuckles through a wet groan, now snapping his hips back and leaning forward just to push back into you, deeper, deeper, until his desk ruts against the wall with the tight hold on you. âDriving me fucking crazy.â He whispers, holding his open lips right against your neck when he hunches over in this paused thrust.Â
âYou looked so good.â He says again, suddenly praising you, suddenly able to relish in the pleasure heâs giving you rather than pretending it does nothing for him.Â
You blink away tears, feeling your twisted and turned body, still trying to look at him through this even if heâs released your hands.Â
He can see that look of realization on your face and smiles at that too before shooting his hands to your middle and forcing you back and against him.Â
He keeps his dick in you, too obsessed with the drag your walls offer to him, and holds you against him just to shift to the side and press you back on the misplaced couch in the room. Man cave stuff, and alla that.Â
You watch him guide you face first into the cushions before he is grabbing your hands again, holding them right back in pace behind your back with one hand, and the other pushing your face even further into the pillows.Â
âYou have no fucking idea, do you?â He grunts, slamming into you again, eyes glued to the way your body strains to accommodate the position he wants you in. âHow much better you are?â
Oh. Really now?Â
You smile through suffocated breaths, the fabric of the couch invading the taste of your own breath and forcing you to love it just as much. You bite down, listening to his spilling words.Â
âBegging me like that for my friends to hear, like you didnât know I wanted to do this?â He continues, burying himself deep again and holding it there again. âFucking my pillow instead of me.âÂ
He seems a little more angry now.Â
âTurning my friends on when you wanted me,â He grabs your hair again, pulling you back into that same painful arch and forcing you to stare up at the wall. âAll you had to do was ask, sweetheart, I wouldâve given it to you every time.âÂ
The reality that this is not your boyfriend is so far from you right now. The fact that your sister is working away right now to pay the light bill, gonna come home later and share a bed with this man? Youâre not even jealous.Â
In fact? Youâre on top of the world listening to him want you more.Â
And at this point, Heeseung can tell youâre smiling, looking blankly at the wall and totally lost from this world. This is exactly what he wanted.Â
Such a pretty little sister, winning him over the bitch that wonât even choke on his cock? It could have been so much easier for you. But this was fun for him, watching you want him and know you couldnât have him.
Despite him proving that you could have had him any day of the week.
âAll you had to do was ask.â He repeats into your ear, now slowing his pace until he pulls out.Â
He takes a step back, gazing at the way your open pussy still clenches for him, the way your ass shakes slightly with your legs.Â
âAww,â He coos, blinking at you from behind and reaching forward to flip you over. âYou wanted it so bad too, canât believe you waited.âÂ
You see him now, fully in person rather than through the image on his monitor. His skin looks so much more full of life, cheeks tinted and hair more fucked up than youâve ever seen it. Cock huge, weighed against his leg.Â
Youâre shocked you took all of it like that previously, unable to relish in the pain of it because your senses were overloaded with moans and his own boasting.Â
âYour sister doesnât have to know.â He says now, eyes trailing your body.Â
âAhââ You wince when he licks his fingers and lowers his hand to your clit, one hand spreading your legs out now that heâs got you on your back. âI really didnât know.â
Heeseung chuckles, finding you entirely too cute and endearing as you look up at him with those fucked out lips trying not to quiver at your sensitivity.Â
âYou were too dumb to take a hint.â He leans forward, now, using his hand to lift your leg up to your chest, rubbing his cock right against your hole as he pulls his other hand up now, propping up your other leg. âToo stubborn to realize.âÂ
You nod in a slightly broken way, unsure of if you were the one putting yourself through torture, or if you really were too dumb to notice he was trying to get you to go insane for him.Â
He wanted you to jump on him. He wanted you to take it like this.Â
âAnd you wonât tell her?â You whisper now, losing the ability to think much more when he grinds himself down, keeping eye contact with you, that same smirk you both hated and loved.Â
He shakes his head at you, almost sweetly when he adjusts his cock to slide in again, knocking the breath out of you with a choked moan.Â
âShe wonât find out if you can be quiet when sheâs home.â
Oh fucking no. He wants toâŠcontinue this? This isnât a one time thing? Heâs going to try while sheâs home? While sheâs gone? Arguably, youâre fucking glad.
âWhen sheâsâ?â You try to question, stopping short when he bottoms out in a groan, breathing in through his nose before lending you a tight, short thrust.Â
âMm, yeah, Iâm gonna be in you every day.â He moans, thinking about the image alone of sneaking into your room while his girlfriend is fast asleep.
Fucking you in his bed. In your bed. On the shared couch. Everywhere. Everyday.Â
âGod, sheâd hate us both.â He chuckles through the same moans he canât stop from spilling out of his throat. âFinding out Iâm so deep, so raw like this.â
Fuck. Right.
âWaitââ You come to realization, clenching from panic at the fact that a condom didnât even come to mind. âFuck, Hee, wait!âÂ
He only presses harder now, smiling at how youâve finally managed to come to your senses. Fucking you faster when you try to wiggle your hips away. Fucking you harder, pressing his entire body weight against the back of your thighs just to force you to stay in one place. Pussy open and spread out, clenching his cock so nicely.Â
âGonna fuck you full,â He kisses your forehead with the horrifying words. âYouâll do it for me right? She wonât let me.â
Those words ring in your head. If she wonât let him, you sure as fuck will. You can deal with the consequences later. You no longer fight to pretend heâs not ramming your g-spot, forcing your voice to shake through a cry of his name.Â
âIâm notââ You choke out through cries, feeling your body tense up. âIâm not on birth co-â
âFuckkkk, yes.â He rolls his eyes back at your half spoken words, losing it at the thought of dripping his seed into you and knowing heâs sterile enough to scare you both for good. âTake it,â He thumps his cock as far into you as he can, willing you to nod your head, willing you to love this as much as he does.Â
Itâs the fact that youâre not trying to wiggle away now, he can feel your hole pulse at hit words, the way you want to be better than your sister, the way youâd truly let him.Â
Even more the fact that youâre not the one he should be shooting his seed into. It should be your sister, the woman who wants to marry him, the woman who said she simply wasnât ready to bear his child. Not that you want to either, but goddamn do you want to be fucked full of the possibly, you say it yourself in a harsh grip around his neck, tugging at the long strands of hair at the nape of his neck.Â
âDo it.â You whisper through hiccuped moans, his thrusts scooting you up and down on the couch at the sheer force of them.Â
âYeah,â He nods his head, pressing harder against your legs as he chases the very high youâre asking him to give to you. âYou want it?â He encourages you to keep telling him. He needs you to tell him.Â
You nod frantically, feeling your body tense up again, trying to reach your hands between your legs to rub your swollen clit. Shockingly, that simply touch of your fingers sends you straight over edge, cumming so hard around his deep thrusts that you can barely hear him praise you through it with drawn out groans of âAh, youâre squeezing meââ and âJust like that, Iâmââ
His voice is clear though, when his hips stutter in place and heâs holding himself still. You can feel the pulse of him releasing into you through the last moments of your orgasm.Â
âTake it.â He moans. âTake all of it.â He continues, pulling out half way so that his cum drenches every part of your hole.Â
There, he uses his hand to milk the rest of it out of him, eyes squeezed shut as he feels the sensation of your own orgasm only slick up the inside of you more than he is, and thenâ he rams back in. Pushing his cum deep. So deep that you moan at the feeling, knowing the mess is dripping down your ass, and being shoved so far against your cervix thatâ Well. You panic.Â
Arguably, Heeseung should panic too, but he doesn't as he heaves in a deep and relieved sigh, sliding out of you once and for all.Â
He just looks at you, a mess on the office couch, pussy pumped full of him, swollen, still pulsing.Â
âCan I be honest?â He breathes out after running his hands through his sweaty hair, dropping them down with a slap to your now relaxed legs.
At your silence, he continues anyway. âYouâve never looked prettier than right now.âÂ
And, well. You realize that with those words alone, selfish and self absorbed as you relish in them, you decide you donât care that heâs just fucked you raw without a care in the world that he just cheated on the supposed love of his life. You both have won in this situation, and pregnancy isnât such a scare anyway when he walks away a mere minute later and comes back with a fucking Plan-B pill.Â
Youâre confused by it at first, popping it into your mouth and looking at him with raised brows.Â
âWhy do you just have these?â You ask, still catching your breath.Â
âShe takes one every time we have sex, even with a condom.â He rolls his eyes.Â
You smirk, noting how if thereâs anything you do better than your sisterâŠItâs fucking her boyfriend.