"now, you know that i love cheetahs, they're built for speed, but that also means they're practically useless for anything else" techno brings up when he's braiding his hair, getting ready to harvest the wheat
"y'know, terrible immunity, it's hypothesized that their cubs mimic a honey badger so they aren't killed on sight, so anxiety riddled that they need an emotional support dog when in captivity, which by the way, i relate to in a spiritual level" he added when he saw phil's confused expression
phil raises an eyebrow "so im you emotional support dog?"
"exactlyy" the deadpan tone only increased phil's laughter, "though i will say, their chirping is pretty cute"
"everyone talks about how the mantis shrimp can see colors we can't, which is actually a scam since they can't even differentiate them, but no one mentions the fact that they can split your skin open if you aren't careful"
"... mate, the fuck-" phil stares at him in disbelief, dirt smudged on his cheek
"the ocean is a scary place phil" techno says as he gently wipes the dirt away, leaving a clean and scarlet cheek
techno goes to adjust his sunhat before going back to tilling the dirt
"you can't just do that while saying some cryptid shit!"
out of the corner of his eye, phil spots techno coming over with a bag of fertilizer to help out
"what's today's cursed fact?" he asks once techno's close enough
"i don't know which is worse, the fact that whale penises could have been mistaken for sea serpents, which are about 10 ft long, or that manatees were mistaken for mermaids, and combine the fact that columbus described them as "they are not so beautiful as they are said to be, for their faces had some masculine traits." can get us some weirdchamp theories."
phil is on the way to the farm when he sees techno checking over the farm for spots, and stands there for a few minutes deciding if he wants to risk getting scarred again
but then again, he's phil and he's techno, they weren't meant to be separated for long, destined to come back to each other's orbit and into each other's arms again and again
and so phil steels himself for whatever fact techno has stored in that incredible brain of his
every now and then a whistle or chirp would slip out, and techno would answer back with a low grumble, both focused on the crops in front of them
it was nice, a breeze of cold air curling around them before leaving, the gentle ambience of dogs barking form their kennel, snow crunching underneath their feet
"orcas are actually the best grandmothers in all of the animal kingdom, considering they go in menopause and choose to teach the younger generation survival tips"
huh, no scarring facts so far, that's nice-
"which still doesn't excuse the numeral instances of animal cruelty to seals, penguins, dolphins, even sharks, they haven't gone for humans just yet but that's more for their own safety since humanity can very easily put them in the endangered animal list"
... he deserved that, jinxing it
"techno" said piglin looked to him "i love you, but what the fuck"
yousharknotpass
romaincrisis
blakekathryn
baratheonpilled
snowghoul
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gummygunk
