On Amethyst and ¨growing up undiagnosed¨
Amethyst is an interesting character for how she hides and deals with her own insecurities and how she overcomes them overtime, or at least learns to accept herself better for who she is, but one aspect i haven't seen talked much is how her being kept from the truth of being a ¨defective¨ gem by Rose Quartz had an overall impact on her and her identity.
According to Rebecca Sugar, Rose Quartz didn't tell Amethyst that she was born different from other gems because she didn't want for Amethyst to worry about that and wanted to ¨raise¨ a gem that didn't feel like it had to conform to the strict caste system from Homeworld. Rose wanted for Amethyst to feel free and choose what she wished to be.
The problem is that Amethyst still ¨grew up¨ feeling that was something wrong with her, even before learning what it was. She was born literally copying others because she wasn't sure what she was supposed to be, an habit that she still had at the start of the show. While ¨On The Run¨ her insecurities came more from how Pearl and Garnet talked about the kindergartner she came from, there was also something else in there, like Amethyst herself could tell that it was off from her.
In the episode ¨Too Far¨ Peridot confirms to Amethyst that is shorter than other quartzes since she was born way later, making her ¨Overcooked¨ and ¨defective¨ in Homeworld's hierarchy. This gets explored deeper in season 3, after Amethyst suffers a terrible beatdown at the hands of Jasper, a very powerful quartz soldier.
Amethyst has an arc about dealing with her feelings of inadequacy and feeling like she isn't good enough like Jasper says she is. In this context, Jasper would represent a type of bully who makes fun of someone for being different, like it is the case of Amethyst.
Going back to Rose, while she had good intentions trying to protect Amethyst from how she was an overcooked gem, i think this had a negative impact on Amethyst as for years she never had a proper idea to explain why she felt that there was something wrong with her and she also struggled a lot with her identity because of that.
From personal experience growing up with undiagnosed autism and not getting one until i was an adult, i can say that because people around you want to pretent you are normal and everything is fine, it doesn't make things better, in fact, it can make it them worse than they are. It won't erase the reality that you are different from others and often that means you have certain limitations.
¨You can be anything you want to be, heh. No! I can't.¨
But Amethyst learns to accept that being born different isn't the end of the world and she should seek support from people who actually accept her for who she is and not those who look down to her for what they think she should be. That she doesn't have to prove herself to people like Jasper on what she can or can't do because they would never be satisfied.
I think if Rose had been more honest to Amethyst about her gem nature, Amethyst would have had less identity issues than she has in the show. Because at least she would have known the reason of why she felt there was something wrong with her deep down and would have accept it herself way earlier in her life.
I also think Amethyst represents quite well what it means to be to grow up undiagnosed, whatever it is a mental or physical condition, because often it is important to know the why certain things happen and if there is something that could be done to help the person's situation they are living in.
