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alyosha karamazov is a great example of a character who does not make a lot of mistakes and is committed to being good and is very good but is still an endlessly fascinating and complex character. because contrary to popular belief goodness isn’t boring!!! it is actually incredibly difficult to choose what is good over and over again when it seems nothing good comes out of it! especially when everything around you is telling you you’re wrong and that your choices are worth nothing. and alyosha is told this repeatedly, that he is foolish and that his goodness is foolish because his father’s sins are in his blood, he is a karamazov just like him, and doesn’t he know it will catch up to him? doesn’t he bear the evil of his father and the brokenness of his brothers? and despite trying his best to mend his family, to bring his brothers together, he is repeatedly hurt by everyone he tries to help (remember the kid who almost bites off his finger?), his father is murdered by his own son, ivan is losing his sanity, mitya is framed and sent to prison. and the question alyosha has to confront over and over again is why even choose to be good when nothing comes of it? why continue doing something that has no profit? and it’s not like he doesn’t question this! it’s not like he doesn’t doubt what he’s doing! it’s not like alyosha doesn’t doubt his own faith when he expects a miracle from the man he considered a living saint and then his body rots away just like every other man! it shatters everything he thought he knew! but despite everything alyosha kisses the earth and says there is still something good here. there is still something worth doing even if it cannot save my father or my brothers. if i can even give one person some small, good, sacred memory that will sustain them, even if that is all i can give them, it is still good. it’s the story of the grand inquisitor. the argument answered with a kiss. the kiss is in the only way that argument can be answered, despite logic choosing to love

I just want to be surrounded by so much love in my life. And not just relationships. Love for my job, my home, the stars, the sunsets, the place I live where ever in the world that is. I want to experience love in all forms