4am philosopher

I don’t normally buy into the latest social networking app, you know the ones available for every phone that’ll connect you with everyone you’ve ever seen out of the corner of your eye and allow you to send them ironic selfies plastered in emojis while letting them know you’re currently streaming the debut album of the cool new indie band that only uses three obscure instruments between eight…

They’re funny things.

I’m currently doing revision for an exam in the morning on prejudice and discrimination and I’m going through research on desegregation when something astounding hit me.

Why is the original word segregation and the opposite desegregation? Why was the word that came first, the one to describe people being separated and alienated instead of the one to describe us living in…

I heard someone say the phrase shit sandwich today, not for the first time obviously because I’m not a fucking crab, but it struck me for the first time how utterly wrong it is.

A ham sandwich is ham, between two slices of bread and a chicken sandwich is chicken, between two slices of bread. I don’t know if you can see the pattern here but the first word is the filling and the sandwich basically…

If you’ve only ever lived one day in your whole life then of course you’re going to be afraid of death. If you got a job at 18 and retired at 65 then of course you’re going to want to live to 100. If you dropped out of school and flittered between meaningless jobs for ten years until you got someone pregnant and you had to stay in a job to support the family, of course you’re going to wish you…

Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame.

Darling, you give american police officers a bad name.

We all are deep down. Nobody suffers in silence when they’ve got tiny little niggly problems that annoy that fuck out of you, like me right now. I’ve got tonsillitis but really this applies to any mild illness, any broken bone, being stuck in because your friends are all busy or an electrical item not working properly. These are just a few examples of the vast amount of things that people have…

I’m awake at 7am again, why can’t I sleep?

I wake up the same way every day now. Sweating, short of breath and panicking, every time and I’m starting to get fucking sick of it.

I feel ill so I guess it could just be that but I’m finding it hard to get to sleep in the first place too so maybe it’s just mild insomnia? Or maybe I’m just haunted by bad decisions and nightmares of how it could’ve been.

Since the age of sixteen, the longest I’ve been single is six weeks, until now. It’s been four months and a handful of days since my last relationship ended and I made a conscious effort to stay single for a longer period of time than I normally would for two main reasons:

A. All of my friends comment on the fact that I don’t stay single for long and I’ve been told that I could just be…

It always has been and always will be. There is never going to be a better time than now. Plans are for the weak and procrastination is the sign of a dead man. Don’t spend time doing anything other than what you want to do and don’t spend time being anything other than what you want to be, this is all time you could have spend better.

I’m all about making the most of my time now, putting the most…

Don’t get sad, get angry.

It sounds stupidly simple and easy to do but we all know it’s not.

Don’t just get angry and self-destructive though, that’s a common mistake. Get angry and use it, use it to build yourself into a better person than you ever were before. Better doesn’t necessarily mean good, you don’t have to be a good person to be a great person. If you ever need motivation to put…

Single life isn’t all casual sex and non-stop partying.

It’s more of a mix of awkward sexual encounters, mild depression, binge-watching TV alone in bed and a lingering narcotic addiction that surfaces every day or two.

Sometimes I wake up and I can’t get the idea out of my head. I can’t stop wondering if I gave up and let the best thing that ever happened to me walk away without a fight. But I always come to the same conclusion, if it was the best thing that ever happened to me then why did I have to fight?

I’m not saying relationships should be easy, I know they’re not. It’s just that when you get to a point…

I’ve just started watching Vikings and it struck me, you know a TV series is amazing when you need to go to the toilet and you end up taking your laptop with you to keep streaming it while you take a shit. That’s real gripping storytelling right there.

Erwin Schrodinger was the Nobel Prize-winning physicist you might remember from a Philosophy or Psychology lesson you’ve taken.

He’s famous for his thought experiment regarding a cat caught in a simultaneous state of existence and non-existence. So basically, he was king nerd of the early twentieth century.

Erwin Schrodinger on women: “Poor things, they have provided for my own life’s happiness…

So saying yes is still going strong and still working out well.

It struck me just now that I’ve gotten into a habit of agreeing now, so much so that I’m starting not to notice the amount of things I’m doing that I wouldn’t have done before.

I’ve eaten ostrich and crocodile, and loved them both. I’ve reconnected with some old friends and done fun stuff with those I’m already connected with. I went…

In an attempt to distract myself from the monotony that is a dissertation, I read about a prisoner of war in Nazi Germany and this is why he amazed me so much.

He was captured and held prisoner, during which time he fell in love with the daughter of an official from a quarry labor camp. During the next five years Horace discovered a way to escape his camp and instead of using it to flee Germany…

Well, I guess they won’t be for long.

Every guy follows the same etiquette when texting or messaging someone, it’s actually pretty bizarre. If any girls out there don’t believe me then trust me, I’ve spoken to plenty of my friends about this and they all do exactly the same.

If you’re speaking to a male friend then no kisses are necessary unless they’re one of your closest friends, at which point…