Sabre💋

The guilt I carry feels like a wad of bubble gum in my stomach. I remember when I used to be so scared to swallow. I remember when I used to chew on my tongue. My mother said that some women's husbands write them love letters. She said, “...we won’t all get that but it’s worth trying to get it...”. When my mom told me that, I wanted to write her a letter every week. I think about how hard it is to write. I think about how hard men’s hearts are. I think about how soft women are. I am in a committed relationship. I am sick. People are confused, “don’t you want to be loved?” “Don’t you want to settle down?”. I think about that wad of bubblegum. I think about being stepped on, stretching, unrecognizable. I chew on my tongue.