Die Mad About It

opening Tumblr is like a cigarette break

parents will be like “you’ve changed” and it’s just you started doing the things that make you comfortable that you always wanted to do but was too scared to express your wants and needs

johnny cash's little brother jimmy pennies is 3 inches tall and has a voice only dogs can hear

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

anti abortion propaganda that tries to like scare you into feeling guilty by reminding you that the fetus has body parts are so funny. "uwu please don't abort me I have eyes at 4 weeks old 🥺" nice try sucker I don't care if you see it coming

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

If you think you can hypnotize me with your beautiful eyes , you're totally right.

it doesn't matter which country we're talking about here, if someone from any country in the world says "oh where i am from there is simply no racism", you not only shouldn't believe them, but you should actually never take them seriously about anything ever again.

giggling together is foreplay

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat